← The Commercial Break
The Commercial Break
Go Suck A Zyn, Bruh
01:06:42
Krissy is sick, so Christina joins Bryan in the TCB studio for an episode full of ass burps, Mormons, and staring deeply into people’s eyes. Bryan’s destroying his instrument! Christina is a Known Asshole Zyn pouches Go suck a Zyn, bruh Tucker Carlson…or Tuckle Cuckle? Smokin’ cigs in high school? “Having the poots” You can’t just be farting on the plane Bryan’s addicted to chapstick Deepfakes Bryan’s giving people relationship advice?! Housewives drama Mormon mommy blogger Jesus PROVIDES!!! Religious trauma LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us 212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Watch for Live Show info at www.tcbpodcast.com Hosts Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A. Producer: Gustavo B. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Transcript351 lines
- [00:00]
A
Have you or a loved one been experiencing symptoms such as coughing, wheezing, or shortness of breath? I'm sorry.
- [00:13]
B
I'm so sorry. I hope you get better.
- [00:20]
A
I'm sorry. On this episode of the commercial break, One day they came in and there was a guy with a knife in the house. A drug addict with a knife in the. He was threatening to kill everybody, but they read him the Bible and he got saved. These are literally like 30 minute episodes of this, and it is terrible. It's terrible. And I cannot wait to review every single episode because I'm like, this is exciting to me.
- [00:46]
B
I'm thirsty for content. And you know what? Jesus answered.
- [00:50]
A
Jesus provided. That's right. You're right about that. Look at me. I'm saved. I am saved. I am saved.
- [00:59]
B
Thank you, baby.
- [01:01]
A
The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green and this is our Cracker Jack producer, Christina. Best to you, Christina.
- [01:20]
B
Best to you.
- [01:20]
A
Best to you, Christina. Thanks for repeating it. Hey, best to you out there in the podcast universe. Okay. Best you. So that's what I'm seeing. I can hear you. I can hear you just fine. I just didn't hear that first. Best to you.
- [01:31]
B
So really was like, oh, no, we're having a problem.
- [01:36]
A
We should. We're always having some kind of problem. But I just largely ignore the problem. The audience will also do the same. What's that?
- [01:44]
B
And that's on vibes. Yes.
- [01:48]
A
The Riz. I got the Riz. But I got probs, too. Probs and riz. All right, Christina, joining us remotely today as Chrissy has to take a little time off because she is sick. She has got the junk, she's got the gunk, and it's literal. Like, she has no voice whatsoever. She went out to go see one of her friends out in San Francisco. So when she called me on Monday and was like, you know, or she texted me on Monday, I was like, listen, I really don't have a voice right now, so I don't know if I'm gonna be able to record this week. And I was like, oh, come on, you went out there, party too hard, and you're now you're just recovering from your party. That's okay. Take. Take a day or two and then you get. Nurse that hangover. Get right back into it. But then she called me and I was like, oh, there's no way I'm going through a whole hour with that gravely ass voice of yours. You Gotta stay home, rest that thing. I was in a band once. I mean, Everybody knows this 33P and Chopper Johnson, all the phallic related names of bands that I was in. And in this one of these bands, I had a voice coach. Because the band insisted that I go get a voice coach. Probably because I was terrible at singing and they were hoping that I could improve my vocal coach. To me, yeah, it made sense to me. Now, many years later, I realized maybe I was not the one, you know, any better than I thought I was. So I go to this vocal core coach and then in the winter, I get sick. For some reason, whatever, I'm sick. I'm also smoking cigarettes. It's terrible. So the band is like, really on my ass. We all lived in this one house together and they're like, dude, first of all, fudgeing. Stop smoking cigarettes. That's your instrument. It'd be like me taking my guitar and setting it on fire. You can't do that. And I was like, yeah, yeah, whatever, whatever. Young. Young and dumb and just wanted to do what I wanted to do. But then I lost my voice. And so they. Someone in the band calls up the vocal coach and is like, we got a gig in like, you know, five days and Brian's lost his voice. You know, any tricks or tip or anything, and the vocal coach is like, don't talk. That's the trick. You cannot talk. Like, literally no talking for like three straight days. Milk and honey, the whole nine yards. You cannot talk at all to anyone for any reason. And I was like, what? And so the band is then insisting that I literally do not say a word for three days. It's probably because maybe they didn't even make the phone call. Maybe they just wanted me to show up for a few minutes.
- [03:59]
B
Personal. That was personal?
- [04:00]
A
Yeah, yeah, that was. Astrid also wants. Wants the vocal coach to call and say I shouldn't talk for three days. So for three days I got like locked in this tiny little house that we were all living in. No cigarettes. And they were feeding me like whiskey, honey and milk or something along those lines. Oatmeal, milk and whiskey or whatever it was. It was the most miserable three days of my life. You do not realize just how important it is to communicate to people with your voice until someone. Until you lose it and then you can't talk to anyone with your voice. It's really frustrating and it kind of made me bummed out. And then we had the gig and I fell off the stage, so it didn't really work. In my favor. Too much whiskey.
- [04:40]
B
Yeah. That feels like you are not. Not at peak performance, I think.
- [04:47]
A
No, I'm not really sure when I've ever been at peak performance, but, you know, listen, I try. I'm getting out here. I'm trying. I don't smoke cigarettes anymore. At least that's. That's the good news. I also don't drink anymore. I think drinking actually does more damage. Yeah, you told me yesterday or the last time you were in here. Yesterday you told me. It seems like yesterday you told me last time you're in here, you don't even know anybody that smokes cigarettes. No. No one, you know, smoke cigarettes, huh?
- [05:10]
B
No, I have, like. I have, like, a couple of friends. I have, like, one friend who smokes cigarettes.
- [05:19]
A
Are they, like, banished to the corner?
- [05:22]
B
Well, they'll. Yeah. Like, if they come over to my house, I'm like, okay, you're going outside to the porch, and you do not open this door until you're done.
- [05:32]
A
Terrible. Terrible.
- [05:33]
B
Well, I'm like, what you do? You guys were talking the other day about, like, the. The smoking places, and. And you and Tina. I think it was about, like, being a smoker in today's world. And I was like, honestly, screw you guys. I want you to be in that little. That little monkey cage. I want people to look at you and fit.
- [05:53]
A
But why so angry? Like, why so angry with the cigarettes? I mean, I don't understand. You don't want to be in the smoke?
- [06:00]
B
Yeah, but, like, you're just endangering yourself. You're endangering other people. Like, what's the point? Like, what are you doing?
- [06:09]
A
Well, let me play devil's advocate for a second.
- [06:11]
B
I also think. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- [06:13]
A
Yeah, okay.
- [06:14]
B
Also, nowadays, there are so many ways for you to get your nicotine fix without smoking cigarettes. So I'm like, grow up. But I'm also no asshole.
- [06:26]
A
You are known. At least we all know that here. Just kidding. I say, I get it. I get it. I get your angle on this. I totally agree with you. Right. And as a former cigarette smoker, I do. I am not on the cigarette bandwagon. Like, I'm not advocating for someone to smoke cigarettes. As a matter of fact, I think it's one of the worst things you can probably do to yourself, especially at a young age, because when you get hooked, it's really hard to stop. It's, like, impossible. Like heroin. Worse than heroin. Right? I'm not. Maybe not worse than heroin, but it's similar to heroin. You get.
- [07:00]
B
Well I don't know about worse.
- [07:02]
A
At least you get high with heroin. At least you get high with heroin. There's some feeling of sensation. With nicotine, it's a little more fun. Maybe as a known heroin addict and asshole, you would know so here. But here's my question. Here's my push back on you. I also believe that we should be able to do whatever it is that we want to do as long as we are not causing harm to other people. And I don't mean anything under the sun. I don't mean like, you know, inciting violence or anything like that. I mean, just generally. Right. We shouldn't, like, step on other people's ability to do what they want to do. They want to kill themselves with cigarettes or they liked the taste of cigarettes or they. Whatever. Okay. Now that means you do have to be put in a room with good ventilation so it could suck up the smoke. Right. I don't want your cigarette smoke floating.
- [07:51]
B
Around the other people in danger.
- [07:54]
A
Correct. But if you're in. But what I was talking about on the show the other day was now they have these glass tubes. They're tubes sitting in the middle of the Charles de Gaulle airport where you literally look like an animal in a cage. It's there for everybody to see. It's an animal in a cage. It's tiny.
- [08:11]
B
Yeah.
- [08:11]
A
It's the 70 people in there all on top of each other.
- [08:14]
B
Public shaming.
- [08:16]
A
Yeah, I don't. I'm not down with that. I'm not down with the public shame. Well, I am down to the public shaming. I do it all the time to Frankie B. But listen, that. That is besides the point for a reason. I'm trying to.
- [08:28]
B
Come.
- [08:29]
A
That's for my income, and that's a different story. And additionally, I don't. I don't beat up Frankie's ability to keep on putting out terrible, terribly chauvinistic and bad advice to other men of a certain age.
- [08:41]
B
That's true.
- [08:42]
A
But I just. I think that, you know, okay, put a room in the corner of the airport where if you're on a long leg and you can't smoke in the plane, can't smoke outside the airport within 80ft or whatever it is. Okay. Give them a room so that they can go puff on their cigarettes and chill out. Also, I really don't want a bunch of stressed out nicotine addicts, you know, running around an airport. That. That's why. I think that's why we're having some.
- [09:04]
B
Problems on a little Zinn pouch, you.
- [09:07]
A
Know, I just was reading about these Zen pouches. I didn't even know they existed. And then one of my friends had a pack of them and I was like, are you chewing? Are you really dipping? Like if there's something worse than cigarette smoking, it's dipping.
- [09:18]
B
They're sucking.
- [09:19]
A
Yeah, they're sucking these little tiny strips and it's bringing them nicotine. It's like nicotine gum without a pouch.
- [09:27]
B
I saw it, but it's so tiny once. Oh, I wouldn't say it's tiny. I had a boy, I had a boyfriend one time who he wasn't actually my boyfriend, but we've been lovers, we'll call him that. So I had a lover one time who absolutely, I stay risen and I absolutely stay jizzen. You know me. So anyway, I had a boyfriend and he was into these Zinn pouches and we went on a little road trip together, like through like these national parks and all this stuff like this. And it absolutely drove me freaking bonks just how often we always had to stop to go get zins. And I was like, can you just not suck on this little. Just, just constantly was always like, well, we need to get zins today. We need to get zins or I'm gonna die. And I was like, I. Exactly. And I was like, bro, calm down with the fucking zins. Like, just put a patch on.
- [10:27]
A
Like, yeah.
- [10:27]
B
What are you doing? I was like, you're, why are you focused on the Zen's when I'm around?
- [10:33]
A
Well, listen, never did I let cigarettes get in the way of a good lay, right? I mean, I, I, if someone didn't like cigarettes, I'd put the cigarettes down for a couple hours. That was okay. I was cool with that.
- [10:42]
B
Done.
- [10:43]
A
I'm done quitting. Quit. I quit for the next five and a half minutes. The next five and a half minutes. All the attention goes on. You're a beautiful body. So let me ask you, this beautiful body of your beautiful body, which that line never worked, by the way. So let me ask you this. I'm not sure any of my lines ever worked. How often would you stop for those impacts? Was he like a one pack a day guy or was he like a two pack a day guy or. Oh, really?
- [11:11]
B
One pack a day?
- [11:12]
A
Wow, that seems like a lot of things to be putting in your mouth.
- [11:15]
B
It seems like a lot of zins to me too. But like, I don't know if that was just like because he was forgetful or if he was actually doing that many sucking on that many. I Don't know what you even say for that, but, like, I don't. Maybe he was just forgetful because he wasn't that organized. I don't know.
- [11:33]
A
That's like. You had real admiration for this guy.
- [11:37]
B
We didn't last.
- [11:38]
A
Yeah, I know. As. As evidenced by the fact that you're no longer together. You probably weren't the right fit.
- [11:45]
B
You know, he is a lovely person, but just not the right person for me.
- [11:51]
A
I didn't know these things existed until. I know, listen, I agree with you. You got to go through a few. I mean, you got to burn some rubber until you're going to hit the road. Right. It's just the way that it is. I don't. I never. I mean, there's a few people that I've dated. This is completely off the subject of Zinn, but there are a few people that dated that I probably. I would be okay never communicating with again in my life. I think the relationship was toxic. I think it wasn't good for either of us. I think it in. In all three cases, the girl. Three girls that I dated where I say to myself, no, no, no, no, no. Don't want to talk to you. Don't want to see you in public. In all three cases, I think it was just bad news for both of us. Right. For lots of different reasons. But for the most part, I am grateful for the experiences that I've had, and I know that the wrong ones led me to the right one and understanding what I want, what the right one was. Right. What real. Yeah, totally caring and empathy was. But none of them did Zinn. And so none of them. I don't do Zen. What? How do you say that?
- [12:50]
B
I don't know. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, I, I, I, I take Zins. You're not even taking them. I'm just, I suck Zins.
- [12:58]
A
I think you just put them under your lips.
- [13:00]
B
Maybe instead of saying to people like, go suck a dick, you say, go suck a zin.
- [13:03]
A
Go suck a Zin. Go suck on this. When we were.
- [13:08]
B
Suck us in, bitch.
- [13:10]
A
Yeah. When we were teenagers.
- [13:13]
B
You don't say we like we were teenagers at the same time.
- [13:16]
A
Well, I'm saying we, as in the collective we. I'm trying to appeal to the younger audience, of which there's probably three. Right. And you might be one of them, but you're forced to. I'm not sure this would be your first choice of podcast. Maybe not, Maybe not. But now that you're in it, you know you're.
- [13:36]
B
Yeah, I'm addicted.
- [13:38]
A
What are you gonna do?
- [13:38]
B
Just like I am to those zins.
- [13:40]
A
Those zooms I saw at a Twitter. Like a tweet, an X, a twit, a twat. I don't even know what you call them anymore. Where? Tuckle Tucker. Carl's a Tuckle. Tuckle Carlson.
- [13:51]
B
Tuckle Cuckle.
- [13:52]
A
That's a better day for him. Yeah. Tuckle Cuckle. He. They delivered him the world's largest Zinn package by helicopter. He got, like, presented the world's largest Zinn package. It had, like, 50,000 sins in it or what? And it was literally the size of a house. I mean, it was ridiculous.
- [14:09]
B
Does Tuckle Cockle suck Zins?
- [14:11]
A
Oh, you know that the Tuckle Cockle sucks something, I'm sure.
- [14:14]
B
Well, he's always. He's definitely sucking something, but I didn't know he sucked Zins. But I guess you don't know until you're already. It's already too late.
- [14:22]
A
That's right. Once you. Once you're in it, he's probably sucking. Well, I'm not gonna say it. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna start some weird, you know, Internet content.
- [14:29]
B
You started an Internet feud. You know, this is tzb now, the ZinBreak.
- [14:35]
A
Oh, hey, there you go. That I would be do. Zinn wants it to pay me $50,000 a month.
- [14:42]
B
They can sponsor us.
- [14:43]
A
I'm not too proud. I am not too proud to just go ahead and say that I now Zinn, because Zinn is now a sponsor. We've said the words enough. I'm probably going to get demonetized on YouTube for using the word Zinn. It's going to be considered, you know, something that can't be said to the children. But here's. Here's. I wanted to share that when I was a teenager. When I was a teenager, when I toured the high school that I was going to go to, right? I went to Catholic school. So when we toured the high school that we. That we were going to go to in the courtyard of this high school, which was in the inside of the school, this big, open courtyard, there were seniors in high school. Fancy, indeed. Well, those Catholics, they have a lot of money. You know, the Catholic Church got a ton of cash. They could spend it on schools.
- [15:27]
B
Yeah, it's all that blackmail.
- [15:29]
A
Hey, listen, let me get me started on that, all right? So we toured that school in the courtyard during the lunch break. There were seniors in that school who were smoking cigarettes in the courtyard. They were Smoking cigarettes. That's how either old I am or how dumb people were. I was gonna say.
- [15:48]
B
I mean, like, I feel shocked, but I don't think I should be, seeing as that was like 1962.
- [15:54]
A
In 62, I'm sure they were smoking in the classrooms. I don't know. The teachers had to have been. The teachers had to have been. You watch.
- [16:01]
B
You know, I should check in with my grandma because she was a headmistress in, like, the 60s and 50s.
- [16:07]
A
I don't know why that sounds so funny to me. Headmistress.
- [16:09]
B
Headmistress. I know, but I can't say she was a principal because she wasn't a principal. She was a headmistress.
- [16:14]
A
Headmistress. That. You know, I just. I was taking one of my kids on school tours, and I saw a parking sign in the parking lot. It said head. Head mistress is what it said. And I found it really weird that they would call anybody that anymore. But so then the next year, when I ended up going to the high school, they banned cigarette smoking altogether on the campus, right? But they would turn a blind eye to the seniors smoking cigarettes out on the front lawn. And there was like a Texaco gas station right down the street. And so during your lunch break, it would not be uncommon to find, like, a dozen freshmen, sophomore, juniors, whatever, over at that Texaco buying cigarettes. The Texaco knew that we were underage because we were wearing school uniforms. They knew we were underage. They never carded us, and they always sold us cigarettes. And I'll tell you what, it was just like. I don't know if any person in my class that I ever knew with any degree of, you know, intimacy, like I actually had a conversation with, didn't at least smoke a cigarette on occasion, if not full blown cigarette smoke. And this is like, the world is completely different now. We're putting people in glass tubes so that they can smoke cigarettes. Is this an indication that the world is ending? I don't know, but it seems a little strange to me. But I don't know.
- [17:37]
B
I also feel like airports aren't real. So, like, nothing that happens in there is real.
- [17:43]
A
It's a different universe. We were just talking about this. Tina and I were just talking about this the other day.
- [17:47]
B
It's a different fake.
- [17:48]
A
Yeah. I don't know what in the good fuck is going on at airports and airplanes, but I'm sure that the fabric of. Of the universe is coming apart at the seams, and I'm sure it's starting at airports and airplanes. Did you hear about this guy that was farting up a storm and they had to reroute the plane. Did you hear this?
- [18:06]
B
Yeah, yeah. This is insane.
- [18:09]
A
And the guy wasn't like, I'm sorry, I got a bad case of, you know, the ass burps right now. He was like, smell this. You smell my finger. As perps, that's what I call him in front of my kids. I say, hey, you got an aspir. Was that Nasper. Asperbs.
- [18:33]
B
I love that.
- [18:34]
A
I got a bad case of the.
- [18:35]
B
Ass burps on this.
- [18:38]
A
They didn't even get off the ground. They kicked him off the flight because he wasn't apologizing or asking to use the restroom.
- [18:45]
B
Was it. They were like loud or.
- [18:48]
A
Yeah. Oh, the, the description on the Reddit page. Yes, they were loud and they were so offensive that everybody on the plane started to complain to this, to the stewards and the stewardesses that, hey, listen, I don't know if I can make an entire flight with this going on. And they were flying from like, I think it was from Phoenix to Austin, Texas. It was like a two hour flight and they didn't even get off the ground. The pilot had to turn the plane around and they, and they got the guy off the flight. But I think part of the reason, according to the people, some of the people that were on the plane claimed to have been on the plane on Reddit. I will say this right, the. They have confirmed that this actually did happen, but there were people on Reddit that were, you know, having fun with it, right? So they claim Reddit being people on Reddit. You got to believe what's on Reddit. So they claimed that the guy was like making jokes. He was like, smell my finger, you know, pull my finger like that. Like a grown ass adult man having the poots on an airplane. The poots. My ex wife used to say that. My ex wife used to say that about the dog. She'd be like, oh, the dog's got the poots. You know what?
- [20:03]
B
Okay, just a quick side bar. Having the poots in Britain, they'll call a fart either a pump or a Trump. And so, oh yes, I have heard what we literally elected a fart for president, a Trump. Isn't that crazy? So, yes, anyway, so you. A grown man has the poots on.
- [20:26]
A
The plane, he's got the boots on the plane and he can't help himself. He thinks this is the funniest thing in the world and no one else thinks it's funny. And so they turn the they turn the plane around and just. It is absolutely disgusting. Now, listen. Yeah, Everyone has stomach problems every once in a while, but as I was sharing with Tina, I said the appropriate thing to do is, number one, don't get on the plane if you're really in that bad of a condition. You say, listen, I gotta change flights.
- [20:51]
B
Yeah.
- [20:51]
A
And I'm embarrassed to tell you why, but I got tummy problems and I don't think anybody wants to be stuck in the tin can with me. Right. I think that's the adult thing to do, the very mature thing to do. Might be hard to admit that, but if you're saying pull my finger, then I don't think you have any shame in telling people that you have the. The butt trumpets. Right. And so, yeah, just coming up with different names for farts.
- [21:13]
B
I know, I love it. I'm here for it.
- [21:15]
A
Yeah. But the other part is you just can't then make a big joke out of it because other people are not going to find that funny that their entire flight is ruined because you had a double bubble fart burger from Hardee's this morning. You know what I'm saying?
- [21:28]
B
Yeah. I mean, listen, I think everyone has been on a flight and God, God bless you if it was a long haul flight with someone who is a farter. And it is truly one of the worst, one of the worst experiences you can have on an airplane of which there are many. But someone next to you who is constantly farting is.
- [21:54]
A
Not a good look. I agree. And listen, these planes are super well ventilated. Like, turn on your air thing and go in the bathroom or, you know, I don't care if you have to be in the bathroom the entire flight. Go ahead.
- [22:06]
B
Someone once said to me that airplane air is just recycled farts. And I think about it every time I'm on an airplane.
- [22:15]
A
Correct. But it's recycled farts. It goes through a filter. You know what I'm saying? Go through a filter. I'm not feeling great.
- [22:22]
B
Still don't like it.
- [22:23]
A
I'm not feeling great about it. I'm with you on this one. But at least it's filtered, right? If the dumb ass next to me is just letting loose in a bad way, I think I'm also going to say to the flight attendants, I'm going to say, hey, listen, I can't sit here or you got to do something with this guy. Lock him in the bathroom. Which the airplane behavior is so bad these days. Yeah, lock him in the bathroom. There was a guy in. On a Flight down in South America somewhere who got locked in the bathroom for the entirety of the three hour flight. Did you read that one? And they had to kick down the door when they landed.
- [22:58]
B
That one.
- [23:00]
A
That's like my nightmare. That's my nightmare.
- [23:02]
B
Not where I want to be stuck.
- [23:04]
A
No. And if I don't have my phone, I am literally breaking myself out of there.
- [23:10]
B
Oh, my God. Yeah. There was a time in my life for the first, like, I don't know, 18 years of my life where I was flying, like relatively regularly over to Scotland and I was so freaked out by airplane bathrooms, I just would not go. And so I would literally hold my pee for eight hours, nine hours, whatever. I was like, I got to do what I got to do. I'm not going in there. I would rather die by UTI than go in that bathroom. However, I have grown.
- [23:39]
A
Yeah, well, listen, it's a UTI filled event when you have to go into those restrooms. And I really feel bad for the women because there's no way to control the direction of your pee. Especially. I have actually been on a flight when I was in the restroom experiencing turbulence and I like, my feet lifted off the ground. That's how much turbulence there were. And I had to. I held the pee because first of all, I couldn't pee because I was shaking around so much. You know, I'm a sensitive kind of guy if I'm not in the right condition.
- [24:05]
B
Doing his kegels.
- [24:07]
A
I got my kegels hard, dude. I tantrum yoga, baby. I'm doing kegels since I was a little itty bitty Brian back when I.
- [24:16]
B
Was getting locked in.
- [24:17]
A
Yeah, that's it. That's how you do it. Keep a healthy prostate. So, okay, let's do this. Let's take break and then I want to share with you a couple stories that I think a further evidence that the fabric of the earth is tearing apart.
- [24:30]
B
Right?
- [24:31]
A
The fabric of the psyche of the human race is tearing apart right now. And, you know, we'll talk about some positive, uplifting stuff like how it's all coming to an end. We'll do that in just one second. Let's listen to you do the break. We'll be back.
- [24:44]
B
Oh, joy. Are you mindlessly scrolling Instagram right now? How about throwing us a follow he commercial break and also CB podcast on TikTok. Check out our website tcbpodcast.com to find absolutely everything you could ever want to know about us. And if you simply can't stay away, call us and leave us a voicemail at 626-AskTCB3 or you can text us at 855-TCB8383. While you're contemplating divulging your life dramas to us, have a listen to our sponsors. You know you love me. XOXO Gossip Girl.
- [25:20]
A
This episode is sponsored in part by Magic Spoon. Okay, if you've listened to any amount of the commercial break, then you know one of my disgusting food habits is to eat sugary cereals with cream late at night. Well, the earth just turned one year older and I've decided to do away with the empty calories and added sugars. The good news for my bad cereal habit, I have Magic Spoon. Magic Spoon recreates all the flavors that we loved as children without all the baggage that goes in our bellies. It has all the flavors you love, but it's high in protein and it has less sugar. Astrid and I just bought a variety pack that has four flavors. Cocoa, fruity, frosted, and peanut butter. This pack has 0 grams of sugar, 13 to 14 grams of protein, and 4 to 5 grams of net carbs. It's only 140 calories per serving. It's high protein, has 0 grams of sugar, keto friendly, gluten free, grain free, and soy free. And I get the taste of my favorite cereal without all the guilt. Magic Spoon is returning to the commercial break as a sponsor, and we're so happy that they're offering you a discount. Go to magicspoon.com/tcb to grab a variety pack and try it today. And be sure to use our promo code TCB at checkout to save $5 off your order. And Magic Spoon is so confident in their product, it's backed with a 100% happiness guarantee. So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money. Absolutely. No questions asked. Remember to start the year off right with a delicious bowl of high protein cereal@magicspoon.com tcb and be sure to use the promo code tcb to save $5 off. That's magicspoon.com tcb and use the code tcb to sa $5 off. Thank you, Magic Spoon, for being a sponsor of the commercial break and giving me something to look forward to late night after I get out of the studio. I don't know why, but this year I am addicted to Chapstick. Like never before have I ever felt I ever needed to. I'm just sharing that with you.
- [27:11]
B
Sure.
- [27:11]
A
Yeah.
- [27:12]
B
Yeah. Huh.
- [27:12]
A
I was like a vigorously applying chapstick all the. Well, I'm using the Vaseline, which I know is, you know, you know.
- [27:21]
B
No, I'm with you because I have my tiny little Aquaphor right here.
- [27:24]
A
Okay. I have an Aquaphor somewhere around the house too. I have three of them. One's in the studio, one's in my bathroom, one's in my bedroom. And so I'll use it. I know.
- [27:32]
B
I support you.
- [27:33]
A
All of a sudden I started getting dry lips, like this year. And I don't know why, because it's not stopped raining in seven months here.
- [27:40]
B
But it was super dry when it was really cold.
- [27:42]
A
Yeah.
- [27:42]
B
Yes, because I was getting static shocks left, right and center every single day. I couldn't pet my cat without shocking one of us.
- [27:49]
A
That's crazy, isn't it?
- [27:50]
B
I was.
- [27:51]
A
We were playing this game with my kids. We rub this soft blanket on their heads and their hair stand up. And then we turn off the lights and you can see the electric shock, right? You can see the electricity. It's so much fun. But it's kind of. It kind of hurts. Like it not hurts, but it's like it's shock. It's a shock.
- [28:06]
B
You're like, oh, my God, sometimes it.
- [28:07]
A
Hurts, sometimes it hurts. That's what she says. All right, I'll move on.
- [28:14]
B
My boss, ladies and gentlemen.
- [28:20]
A
That's what you get. Old white man. Old white man thinks he's funny. Improv comedy, quote unquote. Just means he's not brave enough to do stand up comedy or good enough to do stand up comedy.
- [28:35]
B
Yeah, that's the truth. And truth hurts, buddy.
- [28:37]
A
The truth does hurt. I agree with you. That's why I just. Just say whatever I want. Say whatever comes to mind. I don't care. Now, important stuff to talk about. Have you been keeping you care one bit about the NFL, the playoffs, any of that stuff?
- [28:51]
B
No.
- [28:51]
A
Okay, well, at least you're being honest. I don't care either if there's all. If there's one thing that I care about, football wise, it's the college football. And I only get into that. So I speak. So I can speak with some bit of knowledge to my brothers about college football because they are big fans.
- [29:07]
B
Peer pressure for acceptance.
- [29:08]
A
I know I want to be part of the group. So I don't know the first thing about any of that. So I just listened to this. I listen to the broadcasters and I repeat what they say. I'm like, oh, you see that defensive back? They need a new tackle in there. Get them out. I don't know why they're running slant. Yeah. First and 30. Go get them.
- [29:28]
B
The only thing I know, the only football thing I know is 1st and.
- [29:30]
A
10, slant pass to the left or whatever. Right. Look, he's in the pocket. I say that a lot. I go, he's good in the pocket. That's what I say.
- [29:38]
B
Pocket.
- [29:39]
A
I know. And then my brothers are like, oh, Brian knows a little bit of something. I don't know. I know what it means in music.
- [29:47]
B
It means when you know nature's pocket is. That's the vagina.
- [29:51]
A
Hey, now. And the vagina is not just the opening. It's a lot of other things, as Dr. Sin once told us. But let's move past the vagina.
- [30:00]
B
Yes, move.
- [30:01]
A
Because I have enough vagina talk in my house already. I don't need anymore. So the NFL. Taylor Swift is obviously the. Has been non stop talked about the entire season because she's dating that Travis Kelce guy.
- [30:15]
B
Yeah.
- [30:16]
A
And many, many Kansas City Chief fans believe that she is bad luck. She's an omen. She's not, you know, she's not all she's cracked up to be. And I think this just comes because doing well. They just lost in the playoffs.
- [30:32]
B
Oh, they're still playing. So I was like, oh, yeah, well, they must be doing well.
- [30:38]
A
Me too. Right? I assume that if you're playing this deep into the season, you got something going on for you, but in the NFL you can still have like a 79 record and get in the playoffs. I don't know. I'm not that sure. I don't want to speak about it because I don't know the first thing about it.
- [30:51]
B
But I do know either of us before. But I love that. Love that journey. Love that journey for you.
- [30:56]
A
It's good. My feet hurt, but it's good. So I am like, okay, why are all the chief fans upset? Because apparently Travis does very well when Taylor's in the house. He's trying to impress his lady. You know, he's trying to impress his significant other. He wants her to know that he does a good job at the job. He does. And it seems like he does do pretty well when she's there watching the game. So except for the last game, which they lost and now they're out of the playoffs. So this all leads me to this weird article that I read about Taylor Swift just a couple of days ago. Like maybe yesterday, the AI, which I think is an extraordinary technology that is extraordinarily dangerous, used the wrong way. And of course we're going to use it the wrong way because look at the fucking Internet. It was also an extraordinary technology that is now just a total shit show.
- [31:46]
B
Yeah.
- [31:47]
A
The Kansas. Some Kansas City Chiefs fans are so angry with Taylor Swift, they have been using a website. And I think that I don't want to give the whole name of the website out because I don't think this is right that people are using this. But it's something along the lines of create my girlfriend, right? Or create. Or, you know, create my porn. Whatever it is. What you do is you throw in a picture of whomever you'd like, and then the AI goes out there and it finds pornographic images that can be married up very specifically to the picture that you put out, cuts out the face and puts it on a porn image. There you go. Don't like it whatsoever.
- [32:23]
B
Yeah.
- [32:23]
A
So they have been making some incredibly crass Taylor Swift images because I guess because they're so angry that this woman decided to fuck with their football. I'm not really sure why anybody, honestly. Listen, there's lots of people out there who are perverted and probably just wanted to see this anyway. But then I think this comes with a bit of spite because if I didn't see the actual images, but I saw caricatures of the images and it was like, holy guys. Really? I mean, that's like violent, weird, crazy, I'm sure.
- [32:54]
B
Just people being really degrading, you know, violence, women, etc. Etc.
- [32:59]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree with you a thousand percent. Right? There's just. I think there's just some dudes out there who just can't get over it. They're so angry for whatever reason. For lots of reasons, I'm sure. Their mother, their last girlfriend, their never girlfriend, the girlfriend that they want, the girlfriend that they can't have, whatever it is, being told, a lot of bullshit from a lot of different other angry men. And you should be angry too. And this reason and that reason, whatever. But I think the real problem is the website in and of itself. Like, yeah, I think this should be outlawed. And there are certain states that are now putting bills forward to outlaw the creation of pornographic images. The creation and distribution of pornographic images that are not real. Digitally altered pornographic images. And I think this should be outlawed. Do you remember maybe 10 years ago, there was a website out there, and I think it was called the. The something. It was a place where you could go, something. There's something. I'm gonna. Thank you very much. I'm good at this. I'm really good at my job.
- [34:06]
B
Just Like Travis.
- [34:07]
A
Just like Trav. Hey, Trav. There was a website where you could go and you could just submit randomly. You didn't have to do anything. You could submit pictures and stories, mainly about women, though there were men involved in it. You know, you could say, oh, this girl is a. She gave me herpes. She's the sluttiest girl on the block. Blah, blah, blah, blah. All the nasty words, all the nasty things. You could put it up on this website. It was unmonitored, Unfiltered. I mean, I say it was unmonitored. Somebody owned it, right? And then you could base. It was basically revenge porn on one platform, all right there. And some of these images were gross and nasty, and some were just pictures of a particular person, but that person had zero opportunity to take them down. Now, they claim that you could write in and you could say, hey, listen, that's me. Take that down. And that they would take care of it, they would moderate it. But that didn't happen. A lot of people got. A lot of people sued this particular guy, and one guy ended up buying the website from him for, like, I don't know what. I forget what it was, $8,000 or something, and shutting it down altogether because he was so upset that this was happening beginning. And so I say, heroes don't wear capes. Good for him. But then second of all, like, shouldn't this stuff just. Shouldn't we. First of all, shouldn't we as human beings probably just not do this kind of. But then, second of all, shouldn't there be a law against just randomly, you know, putting up pornographic pictures of people.
- [35:34]
B
And saying, isn't that, like a form of, like, slander or libel or something? I don't really know the legal definitions of those, but that's what it sounds like to me.
- [35:44]
A
Me.
- [35:44]
B
But I'm not a lawyer.
- [35:45]
A
The challenge in the. In that particular law is you. First of all, the person has to be of note to create slander. They have to be a person of note. You can't just. I can't.
- [35:57]
B
It's illegal to talk.
- [35:59]
A
It's illegal to talk. Exactly right. It's illegal talk, which I don't agree with. You should be able to talk about whatever you want.
- [36:04]
B
Isn't revenge porn illegal? Right.
- [36:06]
A
Revenge porn is illegal. I believe in all 50 states.
- [36:09]
B
Yeah.
- [36:09]
A
But it's hard to prove proof, and it's hard to say that, you know, that's. That. That's what happened. Like, if you.
- [36:14]
B
If I take a picture of half this stuff is. It's like he said, she said. And you would think people would just be better, but they're not.
- [36:21]
A
This is why I. This is. This is proof number proof of many. Right? Another piece of evidence that yet the fabric of society is coming apart. Like, shouldn't we as human beings, no matter how angry we are with a person, just kind of like, you know, share it with our friends that were really angry at this lady or this dude? Exactly.
- [36:42]
B
Don't touch on the Internet or come.
- [36:44]
A
To the commercial break where no one will hear it. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's just, that's what I. I have such a hard time believing that people are so upset with another human being that they would do this in such a public way as to ruin somebody's life forever. Google, you know, Brian Greene, and there's all this drama about him that he doesn't have a chance to say back. Like, this is. And I. And I. I don't know what to do, but I wish I could do something.
- [37:14]
B
I'm mad too.
- [37:18]
A
You seem so angry.
- [37:19]
B
I'm mad. Well, I'm mad, but I think I'm also just a woman, so I'm kind of used to it.
- [37:25]
A
It's really a under the stick, isn't it?
- [37:27]
B
Yeah, I mean, like, revenge porn was a really big thing when I was in college, so.
- [37:32]
A
Oh, was it? Was it like a lot of dudes just were like, this girl's tits.
- [37:36]
B
It's like a people being bad and it' like we just. It was like, this is not okay. And so I don't know. I think a lot of times just being a woman, like, even in the dating world, like, you're afraid to reject someone for fear of them. Like, I don't know, doxing you in some way or like being aggressive towards you physically or on social media or whatever it might be. Like, we're. We're genuinely afraid to go on a date with someone because we might get murdered. So, like, it's just. I'm serious.
- [38:07]
A
I know. I get it. I know.
- [38:09]
B
I'm not even joking.
- [38:10]
A
It's fun. I'm like, it's a Lifetime movie, but it's not really a Lifetime movie. It's like actual life.
- [38:16]
B
You know, how many people in my life have my location? All of them. I share my location with everyone and I'm like, I'm going on a date with this person at this time at this location. Here's his picture in case he murders me, but hoping it goes well.
- [38:31]
A
That is terrible.
- [38:32]
B
That's terrible. That's what I send out every time I go on a date.
- [38:36]
A
Do you really?
- [38:37]
B
Yeah.
- [38:37]
A
I got daughters, man. That scares the shit out of me.
- [38:39]
B
Oh, yeah. Good luck, man. It's not fun.
- [38:42]
A
Yeah. You know, the. The readily available information on the Internet makes it super. That much more scary because, like, you know, I'm a. A teenager or a guy in my early 20s. It's just like things happened organically. We didn't. Internet was around, but it wasn't like everybody had everybody's information on the Internet.
- [39:02]
B
And so didn't have an email till, like, 2010.
- [39:05]
A
I did not have an email until, like, 2010. That's right. Well, maybe not 2010, but in the 2000s. Yeah, 2007. That's right. Nine, 11. I decided it's time for me to get one of those email addresses. Phones got all yacked up because of all the drama up in north, and so I think I got to get an email to talk to my dad.
- [39:23]
B
Hold the drama up north. Forth. Love that.
- [39:25]
A
Yeah, if you guys could pause on that for a second so I can call my dad and let him know that I'm in Atlanta and nowhere close to any of the drama, and so is he. So we're fine. Everything's okay. Yeah. All those people. What's going on over there? You stop for a second. I can see if anybody recorded TLC on my vcr.
- [39:46]
B
Did you see there's a new TLC.
- [39:48]
A
Show coming out called In Translation?
- [39:51]
B
Yes. Lost in Translation or whatever it is. Love in Translation.
- [39:54]
A
Love in Translation.
- [39:55]
B
I think about you every time it gives me a little commercial for Love in Translation, I'm like, I gotta watch that.
- [40:01]
A
Okay, so off the revenge porn for a second. Let me tell you that I. I was talking to a friend of mine, and he's like. He was having some relationship troubles, and I was. I'm not good at relationship advice because I'm no expert on relationships, right? But I tell him, I say, listen. He goes, I just don't feel like there's a lot of intimacy going on, right? Like, in a way that I want, like a. Like a closeness. Like, not about sex, but a closeness that I want. He's a sensitive guy.
- [40:25]
B
He wants an emotional intimacy.
- [40:27]
A
He's an emotional intimacy. So I said, I want you.
- [40:29]
B
Everyone wants.
- [40:30]
A
I think so. I think so. You know, you're pansexual, so you may know better than anybody, like, emotional intimacy is what you want.
- [40:38]
B
It's the scariest part, though.
- [40:40]
A
It is the scariest part. You got to. You got to open up the Doors. You got to let people in. So I say to him, I said, listen, I want you to try an exercise that I learned a long time ago. And it's benefited me in a lot of relationships and not just intimate relationships or, or like, you know, boyfriend, girlfriend or whatever. Sit in front of somebody that you want to be emotionally intimate with and you stare into their eyes for 20 minutes. Start a timer. 20 minutes. Stare in the eyes. Not at the nose, not the eyebrow. In the eyes. Exactly in the eyes. It'll take you a minute to settle down, to get the giggles out. Everybody will have a little laugh. And then if you don't walk away from that crying, then you're a psychopath and you need to go immediately to the therapist.
- [41:20]
B
Really?
- [41:21]
A
Really, really try it.
- [41:24]
B
20 minutes is such a long time.
- [41:25]
A
It's a very long time. So now listen.
- [41:29]
B
So you do that in, like, Meisner, like, technique.
- [41:32]
A
Yeah.
- [41:33]
B
Like look into someone's eyes first. Your partner, your lexing partner, whatever.
- [41:37]
A
Yeah.
- [41:37]
B
To like, like feel those emotions connected, right? Yeah, but it's not for that long. And.
- [41:42]
A
Okay, I'm just. So I did this one time with a stranger at a retreat, and it was my first retreat ever. And it was a tantrum retreat, not like an orgy, but a retreat. Right where we were learning breathing techniques and all this other stuff. I did this, the first exercise that we do after we do some stretching and some haze and hellos and all that other stuff. There's like 20 people in the room, mainly boy girls. It's like almost even 10, 10. And I get partnered with a stranger who became a friend of mine. I got partnered with a stranger. I didn't make it five minutes. I was weeping like a child. It all came to me. I wasn't looking at a stranger. I was looking at myself. And all the flaws and all the beauty. And I was grateful for all of it. I was terrified about all of it. And it just all came flooding in. And I was no hokey pokey mystic guy. I was like, I. I refused to go to these retreats for like three years until someone dragged me into one. And then I. I was convinced that I was like, holy. A new world opened up for me. Now back to TLC show. So I'm sitting here editing or working on the show the other night, and this pops on in the background. Well, I'm not listening to it. I'm not paying any attention to it. But then all of a sudden, I start paying attention. They are doing this in two minute intervals with each of the people that they cannot speak the other langu. One on one side speaks English and no one on the other side speaks whatever language the other person is speaking. Literally none. Zero. So the person who's conducting this says, hey, sit in front. This is the exercise we're going to do. You're going to pair up for two minutes at a time and you're going to watch it. Not one of the people that I watched was not in tears at the end of the two minutes. It was like, I was like, oh, my God, this is insane. I was just talking about this. So. But otherwise is I'm not watching the show and I'll explain why TLC is best when you can just listen to it and occasionally turn around to see what kind of is saying what. But this show, Lost in Translation, they don't have any. Like, no one's speaking on their behalf.
- [43:45]
B
You actually have to watch subtitles.
- [43:47]
A
You have to watch it.
- [43:48]
B
I want to watch it.
- [43:50]
A
What's that?
- [43:51]
B
I want to watch it. I want to see what's going on.
- [43:53]
A
Turn that shit on and report back to me. Let me know if you got enough time to watch two hour show that's got subtitles. Please let me know. Report back. Come back to the show. First of all, what are you doing watching TLC? Are you on the 90 Day Fiance or some like that?
- [44:08]
B
No, it was coming on on Peacock when I was watching, I don't know, Summer House or the Housewives or something.
- [44:14]
A
Oh my God. Are you another one with the Housewives?
- [44:17]
B
Yeah, I love the Housewives.
- [44:18]
A
I love God. You and Chrissy. You and Chrissy should get together and talk about this.
- [44:23]
B
I told her the other day, I said, I'm a great wine and Bravo companion.
- [44:27]
A
I'm going to tell you my Housewives story. Why don't we take a short break and then I'm going to tell you my Housewives story and why I probably will never watch the Housewives with any degree of, like, fandom. I'm going to share with you that story when we get back. And then I want to tell you another story that I've got that pretty much shares that the fabric of the world is coming up. Coming apart. Revenge porn and farting guys on planes. It's all here at the commercial break. We'll be back. Ugh.
- [44:58]
B
Finally. I feel like I was waiting forever for my turn to talk. Now that I have you, go to tcbpodcast.com to find all of our audio and video content and follow us on Instagram, hecommercial break and on TikTokcbpodcast want it to be your turn to talk. Call us and spill the tea at 6-26-ASKTCB3 and you may hear your voice voice on the show. You can also text us your T@855-TCB8383 and boy, do we love to hear it. Anyway, take a listen to our sponsors and let's get back to the show.
- [45:32]
A
Okay, so it's, I want to say it's 2012, okay. And I am part of an organization, part of a streaming sl. It's right before podcasts came online. And this guy came to me and he said, I, I want to start a streaming radio slash video station beyond 24 hours a day, no genres. People of all flavors and types are going to come in. They're going to have a show you want, you're going to manage it. I'll pay you to do it. All right? And so I was like, oh, that's really cool. That sounds like a really cool idea. So the, it was called Sim Cole fm. The guy who was the business partner on this, it's called the funder of this is that guy named Simon Guabadia. And I've done an episode on Simon Gobadia. And so I called it, I now call it Scam Call fm because the guy was just a terrible human being, but. And he ended up screwing a lot of people out of a lot of money. But that's a different story altogether. I don't want to get over. He is now on the Real House, or he was for a season on the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Married to Portia, I think. Portia de Rosi, Is that right? It's not Portia de Rosi. It's Portia. That's Ellen's. Ellen's.
- [46:46]
B
I don't really watch Atlanta because it's kind of too close to home, you know?
- [46:49]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [46:50]
B
So I'm just like, I don't really need to watch it. But then again, Nene is honestly amazing. I love her.
- [46:57]
A
I think she's hilarious.
- [46:58]
B
She has the most quotable lines. I just, I love her so much. So I don't really watch Atlanta.
- [47:05]
A
Okay. So all of those housewives, there was a music. So we had the streaming studio and then right next to it there was a music studio, very famous music studio I won't mention because it was, it was kind of part of this whole drama, but it wasn't part of this whole drama. And so between the music studio and the streaming station, which everybody thought was like, you know, super cool. Even though it really wasn't. They thought it was awesome. Right. And so famous people would come by all the time. And they were, you know, these famous people, some of them were Housewives of Atlanta at one point or another, or I think at the time, there might have been some from New York that came down or whatever. So they would come in the studio all the time. One of them got produced. One of them had a friend. That friend was on the streaming station. That friend got approached by the same production company that was doing Real Housewives of Atlanta to do her own show. Like a break off of this show on a different network altogether. It. For some reason, and I don't really remember the circumstances, I was at a bar in an afternoon where this girl was filming for this particular show. Okay, Christina. It could not have been more staged. Could not have been more staged. It was staged for drama. It was staged for drunkenness. It was staged for bullshit. None of it was real. None of it appeared to be real. I know the Real Housewives are. Don't live in Atlanta. Most of them do not have any money. Like, it's. It's all fictitious.
- [48:33]
B
And I'm sure that's why I like Beverly Hills, because they have the real money and they have rich people problems. Like, just rich people fucking problems.
- [48:42]
A
Is that your favorite version of the show, actually?
- [48:45]
B
Hot. Okay. No, I have. I have. My three faves are Beverly Hills, Salt Lake City. Because if, you know, you know, timeline, screenshots, everything. Okay, sorry. So we've got Salt Lake City, and then Miami is really slept on. Miami is so fucking wild. I just love it.
- [49:07]
A
So you watching all of these?
- [49:10]
B
Well, yeah.
- [49:13]
A
Christina, here's the thing.
- [49:15]
B
Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I'm. I'm caught up on all of them. So I'm watching, like, one episode on a Wednesday, one episode on a Thursday, one episode on a Tuesday. But, like, you know, Salt Lake City just finished. Yeah, Miami's still going right now. Beverly Hills, I think, is still going. They're, like, reaching the end of their season.
- [49:37]
A
Okay.
- [49:38]
B
So it's not really, like. It's not a big commitment at this point because I've.
- [49:42]
A
You're just watching. Yeah, it's like watching one show a night. You're just. You're just. Whenever they come on, you record them, and then you watch through them.
- [49:48]
B
Record them a.
- [49:50]
A
You don't. Oh, you. You just go streaming. You go streaming.
- [49:54]
B
Just watch them on peacock. I don't TiVo them.
- [49:58]
A
No. No more TiVo. I do remember hooking up a TiVo for my former mother in law.
- [50:03]
B
That was a whole thing was so cool. But I was at the time rich enough to have TiVo.
- [50:08]
A
No, but you can only record like at the first version you can only record like 10 hours of television at a time. And then they had the second generation where you do like 100 hours. People thought, oh my God, how'd you get. Who, who has 100 hours of TV to watch now? I've got this DirecTV thing and the way I, the reason I say record is cuz I've got DirecTV and we have unlimited recording hours. My kids have gone through and press record on every single television show that ever existed. If I want to find something, I just look at my DVR because it's going to be there because my kids record it all. It's unbelievable. It's a little. So yeah, it's not that I have anything particular against the housewives. I just know how fictitious or how the producers prod them along so much. They navigate and manipulate the stories and they cut and edit and make it look all dramatic.
- [50:57]
B
That being said, there is some real drama.
- [50:59]
A
There is no doubt.
- [51:01]
B
Like I'm sure there's some real drama. And if you had watched Salt Lake City this season you would know.
- [51:05]
A
Do you know want to know something about Salt Lake City? I just read something. I was so furious about this Stanley Cup. I know it's furious, but I was like, I was like, God, these damn consumers. These damn consumers. What do you give a about the Stanley Cup? Who cares? Get another one of the 35000 steel cups that hold water just like every other cup. Why do you need a pink Stanley Cup? Why is everyone beating each other up? I just read that a woman got busted going in. Did you see that? She had like 60 of them or something.
- [51:35]
B
Yeah, they set it up like a drug bus. They put all the Stanley cup cups on top of the police car. And they were like, yeah, look at all these bricks of stainless.
- [51:43]
A
It's insane. Why are you. Why? Okay, so then I'm like, how did this really start? Right? Who. Because they went from $75 million in annual revenue to $750 million in annual revenue in the course of three years. That's an insane amount of growth. So what I, what I read like this investigative journalist had the same question. How did this all get started? Who started this big trend? You know what I heard? I heard that the Mormon house mothers who are Mormon mommy bloggers with the mommy bloggers. That's right. They Are they are outsized influencers. For a very, you know, minor, relatively minority group of human beings, they are, like, outsized influencers. And that apparently everything they touch when it comes to mommy blogging is gold. Right? They just go.
- [52:29]
B
And some of these mommy bloggers are like, the original Internet. Like, they started everything.
- [52:35]
A
I'd say mommy porn stars are probably.
- [52:38]
B
In terms of, like, blogging.
- [52:43]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [52:43]
B
Stuff like the podcast. Stuff like that. Mommy bloggers are it.
- [52:47]
A
That's it.
- [52:48]
B
So, yeah, it started with the Mormon mommy bloggers, and they are fascinating to watch. Like, I get sucked into, like, Mormon TikTok sometimes just because it's so interesting. And I just like. Well, because it's so different from the world I live in.
- [53:00]
A
Okay, so, so different in. In what sense? Because they're like, shelter.
- [53:04]
B
What would you. They'll like, interview people on BYU campus and they'll be like, you rather do say a curse word or kill a cat? And they're like, kill a cat? Like, I would never say a word. And I'm like, but you would kill a cat.
- [53:19]
A
Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. I just. One smart ass was out there. I did see some of this. He was on the BYU campus and he's like, you know, kiss with tongue before marriage or do it up the butt. And they were like, oh, do it up the butt. And I was like, oh, my God.
- [53:31]
B
Or like when they. Oh, shoot, I forgot. It was. Oh, like when they do, like, dance challenges, but, like, make it Jesus friendly or. This isn't the Mormons. This is just like other Christian TikTok. But they'll, like, change the lyrics of the song so that they can do, like, the, like, you know, the doja cat that was on, it was like, ooh, she the devil. She a bad little. She a rebel. They like, turned it into a song about Jesus.
- [53:55]
A
Oh, he's a Jesus. Yeah, he's the king.
- [54:00]
B
Like, we love him so much. I don't know. It was so dumb.
- [54:05]
A
This is some of my favorite on the Internet. It's some of my favorite on the Internet.
- [54:09]
B
Sue me. I get sucked into Christian tick tock.
- [54:12]
A
I didn't have time to put it together today, so. But. Well, maybe Christy and I'll do it next week. There is. I found a prime time sitcom was supposed to be a prime time sitcom. It made. They made like five episodes of it. It's this Christian sitcom where they meet certain challenges. Like, you know, one guy wants to go to a fine arts community college, but that's where Satan teaches, you know, And Then another person went to jail because they stole a piece of candy and Satan came for them. Are the other. One day they came in and there was a guy with a knife in the house, a drug addict with a knife in the house. And he was threatening to kill everybody. But they read him the Bible and he got saved. These are literally classic 30 minute episodes of this and it is terrible. It is terrible. And I cannot wait to review every single episode because I'm like, this is exciting to me. I love it.
- [54:59]
B
I'm thirsty for content. And you know what? Jesus answered.
- [55:02]
A
Jesus provided. That's right. You're right about that. Look at me, I'm saved. I am saved. I am saved.
- [55:11]
B
Thank you, baby.
- [55:14]
A
Such so, so weird. I have, I have friends. I actually, I actually have a business partner. Partner who's Mormon, but he's not like, at least he doesn't share that in on the business side of his life. Like you would never know. Except he lives. Yeah. Except his office is in Salt Lake City and. And over time we got to know them as friends also and we knew. And they're perfectly reasonable. Lovely. Absolutely. You know, I just love his family. I adore them. I think they're really super sweet and super nice. So I don't get the sense that they're like super hardcore Mormon. But my best friend, when I was in my early 20s, we lived together for like five years. She was a Mormon who was on a journey. She was Mormon. She identified as Mormon, but she needed to know what else was out there in the world. So we went on a road trip. I got her drunk one time and that was super interesting. She then she swore she was never gonna do it again. But I had to ask a lot of questions about the Mormon religion and I found out maybe more than I ever wanted to know. But it's.
- [56:16]
B
Once you start digging, it's not good.
- [56:19]
A
There's some stuff in there that's not good, but once you start digging on any religion, there's some stuff that's just not good. Yeah, it's a little, it's a little weird. I mean, I'm Catholic. I grew up Catholic and so bad, terrible, terrible. I'm not Catholic, actually. I don't identify as Catholic. I haven't identified as Catholic in 30 years. But there's reasons behind that is because, you know, I see the hypocrisy. I know the hypocrisy. And my family has been affected by the hypocrisy directly. And it is the most atrocious kind of hypocrisy. The one where you actually damage people's lives forever and they can't come back from it. It's hair, it's horrible, it's terrible. All under the name that Jesus is. You know, this is. You're doing this for the Lord, right? And it's like, holy. Jesus was a cool guy. He wouldn't have done that. I mean, according to what I read.
- [57:08]
B
He was busy with the shroom, he.
- [57:10]
A
Was busy with the shrews. My favorite is the, the preachers though. I love to do a good preacher episode because, you know, did you hear about this TD Jake guy? Do you know who TD Jake is? Okay, he spent. He's on Oprah, he's world famous, he's on television. And I, I actually have watched the guy a number of times and I thought, oh, he. He's got some reasonable stuff to say. Not about the Lord and all that, but just in general. Life advice. Right? Seems like a guy. Not about the Lord because that's all hokey pokey, but. But about life in general. Right? He's just like, he seems like, okay, this guy's been around the block and he says some things that I found to be.
- [57:46]
B
He's not completely diluted.
- [57:47]
A
Completely. Not completely diluted. But then there's what's going on in the Internet with TD Jakes right now is wild. He apparently was friends with P. Diddy and now he was at P. Diddy parties. He was having sex with Nen. They were videotaping it. Remember how P. Diddy, that lady claimed that P. Diddy would like to watch her having sex with multiple male prostitutes. That was one of her claims.
- [58:14]
B
Yeah.
- [58:15]
A
This TD Jakes somehow got caught up in all that and now he was also having sex with multiple male prostitutes.
- [58:23]
B
About preachers reputation for being pervs.
- [58:27]
A
That's it.
- [58:28]
B
It's like, why, like there are so many of you who are pervasive terms like you. You can't convince me that you're not at this point.
- [58:37]
A
Listen, I know it takes a few rotten apples to spoil a bunch, right?
- [58:41]
B
We're past a few at this point.
- [58:42]
A
We are way past a few at this point. I mean, you look at like a lot of these preachers and it seems like the things that they are preaching against are the things that they are doing. It's like that one guy, whatever his name was here in Atlanta, he was preaching for the brand new 500 million dollar airplane. And he was like, God told me I needed the airplane. And people were like, what you really need the air do you really need the airplane or the fuck Twat. In Texas, when the floods came, God said so. That's right. When the. When the floods came in Texas, the guy shut the doors to his church because he didn't want to get the carpet ruined. It's like, oh, my God, dude, really? You are out there preaching every Sunday and you want to close the doors so you don't get the carpet dirty?
- [59:25]
B
The craziest thing is just like the, like, like you were saying, the hypocrisy, because it's all just like, like actually the things that Jesus like, did and said and believed in, like helping people less fortunate than yourself, etc, is extremely what the church is against.
- [59:42]
A
Yes.
- [59:43]
B
That's literally like their number one thing is like, nah, we're actually only gonna help ourselves.
- [59:49]
A
All about that leprosy and poor people. Like that. He. That was a moment. He had a moment. He really didn't mean it. But all the other stuff where he told you to get rich and fly planes and, you know, have sex with prostitutes, that, that stuff. Where did he say that? Well, you got to read the, you know, the gospel of John 32.77 where he says, thou shall lay down with hookers every night. It's unbelievable. Did you read about all that Diddy stuff?
- [60:13]
B
Yes. What did you heard about it?
- [60:15]
A
What was your take? What is your take on that? What is your opinion?
- [60:18]
B
I'm.
- [60:18]
A
It's hard to say. He said, she said kind of shit.
- [60:20]
B
Well, my opinion is believe women, you know?
- [60:22]
A
Yeah.
- [60:23]
B
Like, because it's not a fun thing to come out against someone and say that you were taken advantage of.
- [60:29]
A
No, it's not.
- [60:30]
B
That's like my, my opinion is gonna be like, believe women until, like, until she's fully proven wrong. You know, I'm, I'm. And I don't think she will be. I think if you're coming forward with this, then it's pretty, pretty bad.
- [60:46]
A
For P. Diddy, he got her a 20 million dollar check. Supposedly, like, she was out there for four days, and then he cut her a $20 million check back four days. And he was like, okay.
- [60:58]
B
Screams guilty.
- [60:59]
A
Yeah, I mean, listen, I don't, like.
- [61:02]
B
It was so such a big part of the culture at that time to take advantage of women. And so I'm like, well, you know, the track record isn't looking good for you guys.
- [61:13]
A
It's not looking good. And now, like, not that I ever thought this guy was a hero of mine in any way, shape or form, but now that all the ladies from the Playboy Mansion saying, you know, Hugh Hefner was quite the character, too.
- [61:23]
B
I watched that docu series.
- [61:25]
A
Did you? Wow. Is it, like, damning? It's really damning.
- [61:29]
B
It's. It's bad.
- [61:31]
A
It's bad.
- [61:31]
B
It's really bad. Just like the. The whole system that was set up to basically quiet people and take advantage of these women and to hurt them. It's just. It's shocking. And it's shocking the people who stayed silent during it and who just thought, well, this is, like, normal, I guess, and then it's.
- [61:51]
A
It's.
- [61:52]
B
Yeah, it was shocking. But I love more than a documentary about Playboy drama. I love a religious trauma documentary.
- [62:02]
A
Give me an example.
- [62:03]
B
Like, what was it like, the keepers.
- [62:06]
A
Is that the one about the. The nuns? I haven't. I don't think I've seen that one. The nuns that were like, oh, you should watch it.
- [62:12]
B
It was on Netflix back in the day. I don't know if it. If it, like, was a Netflix original or if it was.
- [62:17]
A
Will be on a different streaming network. Yeah.
- [62:19]
B
You know, for the next five years as it.
- [62:22]
A
Wow.
- [62:22]
B
Yeah, that was a crazy one. I just love the ones about, like, all the basically Catholic bullshit and all the churches, like, and the diocese being bad. I love it.
- [62:34]
A
The diocese are terrible. The nuns were terrible. The priests were even worse. Yeah. Everyone's bad. And they're all feeding into each other and they're all keeping it quiet. And they're all.
- [62:43]
B
It's just a power structure. And people are one thing, if not slightly buts for power.
- [62:48]
A
That's it. I think that's the thing, is that, you know, absolute power collab corrupts absolutely. And when you have the power and the ability to make people believe you have some special connection to some magic guy in the sky is going to keep everything cool for everybody, then a lot of people are willing to overlook those things because they also want to be cool with the magic guy in the sky. Right. And for me, personally, my family members were affected by that Catholic Church scandal, the priest abuse and the nun abuse and all that other stuff, and it absolutely destroyed their lives. Lives forever. So that was a really happy ending to the show there.
- [63:22]
B
Uplifting.
- [63:23]
A
But I had fun. I like this conversation. It's good. Doesn't always have to be all, you know, shits and giggles all the time. I mean, it should, but it doesn't always have to be. That's what happens when you're putting out 75 hours of content a week. Yeah.
- [63:36]
B
Sometimes we're gonna be a little bit sad.
- [63:38]
A
Sometimes we have to talk about things that are sad. But I'm glad you joined us and I'm glad you joined me. Christina, thank you so much. I really, really appreciate you jumping in last minute. It's.
- [63:48]
B
Thanks for having me.
- [63:49]
A
It's a blessing. I hope Chrissy feels better and can come back soon.
- [63:53]
B
Sexy voice back.
- [63:54]
A
I know the string of terribles that she's been through over the last four months is just. You don't wish it upon anybody. You really don't. But laryngitis is the least of the terribles. And so I imagine, you know, at some point, very quickly, she'll be back. She'll be back next episode. I'm sure of it. Okay, so tcbpodcast.com that's where you go. You find out more about the show. You can listen to all the audio, watch all the video right there from one location. TCBpodcast.com you can also get your free piggy fronting sticker that's the size of my pinky. We'll be happy to send that to you with a microscope so you can find it. And all you got to do is just go to the website, contact us, drop down menu says, I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address and oh, away we go. 626, ask TCB the number three 626 ask TCB the number three questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, we take them all at that phone number. If you want to ask TCB for some advice, you want to talk to Brian's mom, all that stuff, you can just text it to us or leave us a voicemail. Craziest story. I was like, we aren't getting very many voicemails at all. I have two emails. We switched phone numbers so much. I had the voicemail box set on the first phone number that we had and when I finally switched it to the phone number we have been using for the last, you know, six, nine months, I had 78 voicemails. Just in the last seven, just in the last 70 days. I was like, oh, people must think I'm a real. So sorry about that. Yeah, I do. True story. So I'm sorry about that. I promise that we'll get to them all right. At the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast, on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break, it's Dr. Phil saying out. All right, Christina, thank you so much, my dear friend. I really appreciate it. Best to you, best to you and best you out there in the podcast universe. We're saying goodbye again. So until next time, Christina and I will say say we do say and we must say goodbye. Ra.