Health, Wealth & A Paladium Ping-Pang!

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break – "Health, Wealth & A Paladium Ping-Pang!"

Release Date: May 21, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley
Episode Title: Health, Wealth & A Paladium Ping-Pang!

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1. Navigating Children's Graduation Ceremonies ([04:36] – [19:03])

Bryan and Krissy delve into the chaotic yet heartwarming experience of attending their children's graduation ceremonies from preschool. They humorously recount the challenges parents face, such as securing front-row seats, managing overzealous fellow attendees practicing crisscross applesauce, and dealing with the unpredictable performances of young children.

• Bryan Green: "It can feel like trying to solve a puzzle with a hundred missing pieces." ([00:02])
• Krissy Hoadley: "They practice every day for the entire year for like 262 goddamn days. It’s now the school year. They do this." ([05:43])

The hosts share anecdotes about seating woes, intrusive crowd behavior, and the emotional rollercoaster of watching their kids perform. They emphasize the blend of pride and amusement parents feel during these events.

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2. Exploring Relationship Dynamics and Marital Hatred ([30:29] – [43:47])

Transitioning to deeper topics, Bryan introduces insights from a podcast episode featuring Tim Ferriss discussing "marital hatred." He and Krissy explore the natural ebb and flow of relationships, highlighting periods of harmony, disharmony, and the essential repair processes that sustain long-term partnerships.

• Tim Ferriss (Quoted by Bryan): "The essential rhythm of all relationships is harmony, disharmony, and repair." ([30:39])
• Bryan Green: "That’s how they get you. That’s how they get you." ([65:43])

The conversation covers the importance of communication, the impact of external stressors like children on relationships, and the misconception that marriage or having kids can resolve underlying issues. Bryan shares personal experiences of marriage and separation, reinforcing the notion that sustained effort and mutual respect are crucial for relationship longevity.

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3. Critiquing New Age Spiritualism and "Light Language" Phenomena ([54:50] – [70:30])

In a shift towards pop culture and societal trends, Bryan and Krissy examine the rise of "Alien Light Language" enthusiasts on social media. They express skepticism and critique individuals who claim to communicate with extraterrestrial beings through invented languages, often monetizing these practices through expensive courses and merchandise.

• Bryan Green: "It's basically MLM for your soul." ([66:57])
• Krissy Hoadley: "They’re channeling and saying all of these things from aliens." ([65:01])

The hosts analyze the performative aspects of these phenomena, suggesting that many practitioners exploit followers' desires for meaning and connection. They highlight recurring phrases used by these individuals, such as "divine abundance" and "sacred wealth formula," pointing out the manipulative potential behind such language.

• Bryan Green: "They are getting enriched at the expense of your, you know, your want, your desire, your need to be connected." ([67:05])

Through mockery and critical discussion, Bryan and Krissy shed light on the commercialization of spirituality and the psychological tactics employed to attract and retain followers.

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4. Upcoming Events and Promotions ([51:12] – [73:33])

The episode features several promotional segments interspersed throughout, including sponsors like Five Hour Energy, Squarespace, Mint Mobile, Discover, and Rosetta Stone. The hosts announce a special event, "TCB's Endless Day," a 12-hour marathon of The Commercial Break to celebrate their milestone, supported by their sponsors.

• Bryan Green: "TCB's endless day, sponsored by Five Hour Energy, May 31, starting at 10:00am." ([70:47])

They encourage listeners to engage through social media, participate in interactive segments, and take advantage of exclusive offers provided by sponsors.

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5. Final Reflections and Closing Remarks ([72:21] – [74:05])

Wrapping up, Bryan reiterates the importance of authenticity and warns against falling for exploitative spiritual trends. He emphasizes maintaining hope and genuine connections amidst societal pressures and deceptive practices.

• Bryan Green: "Hope is one of the most beautiful things in the world and powerful things in the world, and I believe in it with all of my being." ([68:31])

Krissy and Bryan conclude with humorous banter, reinforcing their camaraderie and commitment to providing an unfiltered, relatable podcast experience.

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Notable Quotes:

• Bryan Green ([00:02]): "Are you buying a home in California? Yeah. It can feel like trying to solve a puzzle with a hundred missing pieces."
• Tim Ferriss ([30:51]): "What I want to say about disharmony, it hurts. It's dark. You can really, really feel like, what the hell did I get myself into?"
• Bryan Green ([65:43]): "That's how they get you."
• Bryan Green ([66:57]): "It's basically MLM for your soul."

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Conclusion:

In "Health, Wealth & A Paladium Ping-Pang!", The Commercial Break offers a blend of personal anecdotes, societal critiques, and humorous insights. Bryan and Krissy navigate the complexities of parenting ceremonies, the dynamics of long-term relationships, and the pitfalls of modern spiritual trends with their signature chaotic charm. The episode serves as both entertaining and thought-provoking, encouraging listeners to reflect on their personal lives while enjoying the duo's unpolished and relatable banter.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

Are you buying a home in California? Yeah. It can feel like trying to solve a puzzle with a hundred missing pieces. I remember searching for my first home, thinking how does anyone do this without losing their mind? I wish I could go back and tell myself that the first step you should take is to find a realtor. They make everything make sense. From pre approvals to paperwork, from offers to closing. It's someone that you can trust that'll walk you through it all. They'll answer all the questions, even ones you don't know to ask, and when are feeling a little bit overwhelming, you can count on them to keep you grounded. That kind of steady support, you cannot get that from going it alone or guesswork. A realtor knows the ins and outs of the California real estate market and helps turn what feels like impossible into done. Don't let what you don't know stop you from starting your next chapter. Find your [e-mail] that's championsofhome.com this episode is sponsored in part by Five Hour Energy Cinco Domingo okay, you know you like to get all your facts from the commercial break, so here's some facts you may or may not know. I am hot. I am attractive. I am a super spicy human being. And hot people like hot foods according to the charts and graphs in an article I once read sometime. You get the point. I didn't make up the rules, I just read about them. And I happen to fit inside of the data points that say that hot people like hot food. That's why I was excited to try Spicy Cinco de Mango, the new flavor from the makers of five Hour Energy. It's sweet, it's spicy. It's a tad unhinged and sweet. Spicy and unhinged is what my wife might say about me. You get the kick of hot chili flavor and then bam. Mango sweetness swoops in like a saucy little twist. It's basically the drama your taste buds deserve. Hot people like hot foods and apparently hot energy shots too. So if you think you're hot, and I know you do, prove it. Take the heat with five Hour Energy's Spicy Cinco de Mango and their spicy hot sauce. Yeah, they went all in. Life's too short for bland. Spice it up this Cinco de Mayo. Get energized. Get spicy. Five Hour Energy's Spicy Cinco de Mango is only available online for a limited time. Head to Five Hour Energy.com to order yours today. That's five hourenergy.com and thanks to Five Hour Energy for being a sponsor of the commercial break. Making your way in the world today. Takes everything you've got.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Hey, Mr. Peterson, what's the story?

[Brian Green]

Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer, boy gets another beer. Would you like to get away? How are you today, Mr. Peterson? Never been better, Woody. Just once I'd like to be better. I got good news, everybody. I'm no longer looking for a job. Now begging for one. Hey, everybody. Norm. How you doing, Norm? What do you know? Not enough. Afternoon, everybody. Good morning. Hey, what's happening, Norm? That's a dog eat dog world, Sammy. And I'm wearing milk bone underwear. On this episode of the commercial break. Some of them are Palladians. Some of them are more generic alien light language girls. Yes, the Palladians, but the Palladians is.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

A species of aliens.

[Brian Green]

It's a species of aliens and they believe that they've been dropped down here on Earth and they've co. Mingled co mated with humans.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay? That's how the hybrids happen.

[Brian Green]

That's the hybrids happening. And that if you're a Palladian, then you will activate certain languages and you.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Will activate your Palladian penis.

[Brian Green]

Your Palladian penis. Your Palladian penis will come alive and.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Then all of a sudden, you're going to have wealth and abundance. Is that what it is? Because the old wealth and abundance trick.

[Brian Green]

That'S how they get you. That's how they get you. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, boy. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co, Chris Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Best you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. It was a big day around the household as many of the children graduated from their respective non graduating ages.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Right?

[Brian Green]

Yes, non graduating classes.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Some ceremonial things.

[Brian Green]

Ceremonial. That means I gotta wake up entirely too early, sit through entirely too long of a ceremony. But man, are they cute.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

They are cute.

[Brian Green]

Are they cute. I find myself being very cheesy during these things. I'm dancing with them. Them. I'm encouraging him. I'm like. Because any parent of any young kid will know this is that they practice this shit like all year long. They start at the literally the first day of school. Okay? We're gonna have a big thing at the end of the year. And so here we go, you know, Happy duty down deep. Clapped his little pansies. Happy duty down deep. But his little feet, you know, whatever it is and they all stomp their feet and clap their hands and do little motions above their head. And you know how it goes.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I do.

[Brian Green]

And so they practice every day for the entire year for like 262 goddamn days. Is now the school year. They do this.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And then weeks long breaks.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And then weeks long breaks. They come home and they say, play that song so I can. They're doing it in the kitchen and everything. And it's so cute. And you're like, they're gonna kill it. This is my kid is Taylor Swift incarnate. Little Michael Jackson in the works. And then the second they walk out on that little. It's not even a stage, it's just like a hall where they're at. And they've taped off a little area and put a backdrop. And the second those kids walk out there, it's like stage fright. So the principal, who we know is a very lovely lady, she comes out and she's like, okay, now we're going to bring out the very little ones first. And because they are very scared of loud noises, let's all not scare them. I'm going to be very upset if you scare them. And they're like two hundred and fifty people. Grandmas, moms, dads, uncles, aunts, friends of the family and weird creepers who just found their way into the room. Yes. The cavalry is out. We've all come out and caught Caffeine High. All of us. Right.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Was the 5:30?

[Brian Green]

No, but I'll tell you, I'll tell you about. There's always strange ones in the crowd anywhere you go. And I'll explain. There was a few. So we get the front row because Astrid is involved in the school. I don't want to give away too many details, but Astrid's involved in the school, so we managed to score. And by the way, this is a hot ticket. Like if you don't get there 40 minutes early, you're not going to have a chair anywhere where you can see your child.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But what is permissible and what does happen is that if your child's class comes out, then you can run up to the front, sit down in front of them Indian style. Right. I don't know what they call that. Crossy leggies or whatever it is, you know, crisscross applesauce. That's crisscross applesauce.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And that's obnoxious to see a bunch of 30, 40 year olds crisscross applesauce. It just is. I'm sorry, but I understand because I did it too. The first couple years my kids were at this, this school, we did not know the gig. So we always had a shitty parking spot and we'd have to stand in the back of the hall and then run up crisscross applesauce. And when the kids came out or when our. We had one kid at the time. So we now we have front row seats. Because Astron's like a queen over at that school. She does a million fucking things for all those kids and the teachers and stuff like that. So. So we have the whole front row there and. And look at you dipping it over at the pre K. Right? Yeah. At the Little Darlings Preschool. That's right. Little Darlings Growth and Development Preschool or whatever it's called. So principal gives us the warning before the show starts. Now, I've been to like six of these already, so I already know this is going to be a two hour long event. And there are only five classes in the entirety of the school. Each kid's classroom comes out and they do like five songs. Excuse me, three to four songs, right? And there's between five and 12 kids in each class. So the first kids come out, we're talking two and three year olds, right? Two and three year olds come out. There's five of them. They all come out. They are all deer in the headlights, frozen. No one. You could hear a pin drop. No one in the audience says a word. It's like hushed. It's like hushed hurrahing. We're all like, good job.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Good job.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Everybody's not just sitting there stone faced.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But I gotta be honest, I'm that age and people are just whispering at me from the crowd. And I'm more scared than I would be if you just go ahead and yell at me. You know what I'm saying? Just give me a little encouragement.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

So here they are, they're all like there in the headlights. Like this song starts. First kid drops to the floor. Somatic response to stress. He drops to the floor. He rolls over, he lays down. He's taking a nap. He wants to take a nap.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

He cut into the play. Dead.

[Brian Green]

He played dead. That's what he did. He's like a roly poly. He just rolled up and just laid on the floor.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

A turtle put his head in.

[Brian Green]

Cutest little girl in the corner. She didn't make it three seconds in the song. Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy runs off into the crowd, right? So now there's one, there's three left. There's one girl who's kind of trying to make it work. Two teachers who are acting like complete buffoons, you know, doing all of the motions, trying to. Yeah, poor ladies. I mean, listen, I say buffoon, not in a bad way. They're just trying their best to get these kids to do anything. Like show them that I worked on. On you at all this year. Please, I need a job. Next year. Show me that I can do something. Third kid runs backwards into the. Into the backdrop and plants his face back there. He's just. Now he's won't face the crowd. So now we got one girl, one boy, one girl kind of doing a little bit of a dance. And the one boy just staring off into the sunset. He doesn't want to look at anybody. He's making no eye contact whatsoever. And I swear to God, I just feel like I feel for all of this because I've been there, I've done it. I've watched my kid freeze.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes. I remember you saying yes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I've watched my kid do it in the kitchen. As if they are, you know, as if it's the American Music Awards, like, professional lighting, stage. Stage direction. They've done the whole thing. And then they get out there and they can't remember to breathe. I mean, that's it. So now we've got one girl who's kind of. Kind of trying. And we've got one kid, deer in the headlights. And so I feel for him. So he's kind of turning his head, like, left and right, and we make eye contact. And I'm like, you got this. I got. You got this. Because I know I have that goofy face that kids like. I just do. I know I've got that, like, kind of clownish. Oh, he could be dangerous, but he's kind of funny. Look at those ears on that guy. Look at the ears on that guy. That's kind of cool. I like that. So I go, you got this, Chrissy. The kid screams, he cries. He runs into the crowd. He doesn't even know where his parents are. He just runs into the crowd. The teacher's trying to stop him. It just runs. So now we've got one soldier left. That's it. One soldier amongst all of them.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And at this point, it's gotta be about done.

[Brian Green]

Now we're not even one minute into the first song. Well, the teachers are, like, trying to wrangle them up and stuff too. Like, you know, trying to put them back on stage. The one kid just refused to get off the floor. Literally. They were like a. He was Playing dead. Like they were trying to yank him up to get him on his pants. There was one girl who pulled down her pants.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, God.

[Brian Green]

And she was crying, and she was like, uh oh, uh, oh, uh oh. I was laughing.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

So I know you can't help it.

[Brian Green]

You can't. They're so cute. Because Gustavo's in town here, too, for.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Gustavo. Because Gustavo's in town. He's sitting next to me, and we are just. It's. It's a good time. Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's entertaining, I'm sure.

[Brian Green]

But I'm gonna give a couple of hints and tricks and tips to the parents who in the future will be going through this. I agree. You should be allowed to get up close when your kid's doing this. Like, it's not my kid, so I don't really need to see. But it's inefficient that we just change seats every time a class comes in. You know what I'm saying? It's for everyone to shuffle seats to make sure everyone's got the front row seat when your kid's up there. So I don't mind the whole crisscross applesauce thing. You gotta get up there. At least you can get the video to show the grandparents or whatever. But I was sitting in the front row, meaning there was no chairs in front of me. And so it's me and then the stage.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

What about. Were the crisscross applesauce people in front of you?

[Brian Green]

Not only were they in front of me, they're sitting on my feet. And there is so much room in front of me. I mean, it just was, like, kind of silly. Like, you don't have to sit with your back against my knees. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I don't know. Give me a little space. Yeah, give me a little space to the point where we're like, one lady. Like, this happened five times during the show. Five different people sitting right directly in front of me. All of them did the same thing. All of them extraordinarily close. Like, literally their backs against my knees. And one lady sat.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You start to braid somebody's hair.

[Brian Green]

Well, one lady sat on my shoe, and I started poking her in the butt. I was like, bink, bink, bink, bink, bink.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Moving my toes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But she was. You know, she had. There was a lot. There was cushion there. And I don't think she felt what was going on. But I. I thought to myself, like, this is just a. Too close for. We're all friendly here. But a little too close for comfort. Let's get going. Like, you know, you can move up 30. You can move in. 30 centimeters would be okay. Give my feet a little room to breathe. That was a little ridiculous. And then the other thing is, like, when we get there and there's this hall, and I already know the drill, there are going to be entirely too few seats for entirely too many people. And there's a lot. And everybody wants. It's a long thing. You do not want to stand for two hours during this. And there is a hallway full of extra chairs stacked up full of extra chairs. So I go. I see a guy take one of the extra chairs to go in the back, and I think to myself, okay, yeah, that's a good idea. I already know there's going to be plenty more people than seats. Let me. Let me look at a few of these tough guys around here, and let's all start a chain and let's get it going. And we'll put a few extra rows in the back. There's plenty of chairs. Like, let's make sure that everyone can take a seat. And so I go over there. I'm not necessarily directing traffic, but kind of directing traffic, right? And I'm. These seats are. They're wooden, and they're really heavy. So I'm pulling one. I give it to a guy. I pull one. I give him a second chair. Two chairs. That's good. You're good. Two chairs. It's a very heavy thing. Meanwhile, I don't know, Biff Johnson comes over, and he's like, I'm just gonna get the. I'm just gonna get the stack. It's like five chairs. And I go, oh, okay. All right. Go for that.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Literally cannot move the stack one inch. He's like. He's trying. He's trying too hard for too long because now he knows kind of what a dumb, dumb he looks like. Yeah. Like, okay, bro. Hey, if I thought you could just, you know, fling a stack of chairs and over into the other room, then I would have done that in the first place. But they're heavy chairs. Two is enough. You don't need to be a tough guy. So you know what he did? He ended up taking a stack of two chairs and moving them there. And I'm like, okay, all right.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Do it your way.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So, okay. So then I.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

They're wooden chairs, though. I'm kind of hung up on this for a minute because I remember in school having, like, you know, the small, like, plastic ones with the butt Carve out and, like, some metal legs.

[Brian Green]

I don't want to give away too much because I. Because I care about the safety of my family. And I don't know who's out there listening, but the hall is a place where very nice wooden chairs would be appropriate. Let's put it that way. Like, nice, solid.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

So these aren't like the kids?

[Brian Green]

No, no, no, no. I was thinking the school is on one side of the building, and on the other side of the building is a. It's used for something completely different. But we get but once or twice a year.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I'm picturing a school and, like, the kids chairs.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no, no.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Like, stacks of kids.

[Brian Green]

The school does have kids chairs, but this place has wooden chairs. Right.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Nice wooden chairs for the youngest kids.

[Brian Green]

Right. So I. So I grabbed then. Okay, now we've. I think we've got enough chairs for two rows. I grab two chairs, I go walk over there, and that same guy is just, like, standing in the middle of this, like, the row that I have to get by to put these chairs down. And I'm standing there looking at him, and he's standing there looking at me, and I go, oh, excuse me. Can you. You know. Yeah, Chrissy. He didn't even, like. Didn't even acknowledge on his face that he had heard what I'd said, But he's, like, looking directly at me. I know he's not deaf because we just had a conversation. Like, I don't know what's going on. So he doesn't move. Another guy recognizes what's going on here, walks around the guy and says, hand me the chair. And I have to hand the chair around the guy who's standing in the middle of the row, not moving, for what reason? I can't imagine.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Why was he standing? Because I thought he grabbed two chairs.

[Brian Green]

I don't know. Maybe he used all his possible testosterone to try and lift those five chairs into the air, and now he's. He's on a bra. His brain's on a break. I don't know. I don't know. He's on a break, I guess. I'm not sure. I don't know. It was like a really silly and weird thing. Party's over. Everyone's done. Ice cream truck outside. Which was a. Which was a nice added touch this year. Let's go get some. By the way, in years past, like when I. When we first started taking our kid, went to this school, they would do this outside and in May. You're really rolling the dice. Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You are.

[Brian Green]

It could be chilly, it could be raining, but it's likely just gonna be fucking hot. Yeah. And everyone's gonna be dressed nicely, sweating their potatoes off.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So I'm glad that we at least got the inside part. And the ice cream truck is a.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Nice addition, but is it the milk and cereal truck?

[Brian Green]

I wish it was the milk and cereal truck. Isn't that an ice cream truck?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, I passed it. You know, it's parked, like, at this business that's down. That's down the street from where I live.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's when I took the picture and sent it to you. Because I'm like, there's an actual milk and cereal truck.

[Brian Green]

That's a thing now? They make ice cream out of cereal. You know, like a little offshoot here. There was a. There was a trend, I want to say, like, back in the.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Or maybe it's cereal and cream. That's what it is.

[Brian Green]

Cereal and cream.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Cereal and cream.

[Brian Green]

That's right.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Yes, there was a trend.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Your choice. I love it. Hey, snacks.

[Brian Green]

If you're going to put cereal and ice cream together. My new thing is cookies and whipped cream. So I can't drink half and half anymore at the levels I was drinking it at. So now I just put whipped cream.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Whipped cream, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Whip it. I put whippets all over my cookies. I get high. So there was a trend in the, like, mid-2000s in the aughts, where they were opening up cereal shops. Do you remember this?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Like walls of different kinds of cereals. And people would go in in the morning or the afternoon, and they would put cereal in a bowl and whatever kind of milk they wanted, and they'd pay $5. Endless. All you could eat. I don't think that ever took off, really. But I remember they opened a couple and one in Los Angeles. Yeah, I thought that was. Yeah, I thought that was an interesting idea. Not one that warranted an entire restaurant in Manhattan, but an interesting idea nonetheless. That's a college town kind of thing. If you did that in a college town, you'd probably never go out of business.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's true.

[Brian Green]

All right, so party's over. Everyone's done. Thank you very much. You know, tears and happiness and mainly because it's done. And now we get to go home. And by the way, my kids killed it. They killed it. They were the. They danced, they sang. They knew their motions, they knew their movements. I was really proud of them. But this is also not their first rodeo doing this, so I think they were. They Were prepped for this. So we get done, and then the same Biff Henderson all of a sudden. Yeah. By the way, I'm standing in the front. So when it's over, the front where I'm standing gets very crowded. Because now this is the open space. So now everybody has crowded the open space to get their kids to say goodbye to their friends. Have a happy summer. Thank you. The teachers, all this other stuff. So it's very crowded where I am. And I understand that. I'm just trying to kind of like, maneuver to get out, but I'm not going anywhere because no one's going anywhere. And then all of a sudden, I notice right behind me, and I mean, like, breathing down my neck, is Biff Henderson, the same guy who was standing in the middle.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Your nemesis at the.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, my nemesis at the cerem. And now I'm like, do we have a thing here? But I don't know because I'm not man enough to know, you know, Like, I don't have that kind of vibe, you know? But I'm. I do wonder. Do we have a thing here? Should I be worried that he's gonna snap my neck from behind? Is this Jean Claude van Damme film? Do I need to stand up on the chicken?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Bloodsport.

[Brian Green]

Bloodsport. Do I need to grab one of these heavy wooden chairs and just hit him over the head with it? I don't know. And I'm a little bit nervous that now I've got this guy just literally drooling down the back of my hairline. And so I think to myself, geez, you know, just give me a little bit of room, buddy. He's got, like, his chest up against my back, and I'm like, it's not that tight in here.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And I've been hidden from all sides, the back, the front, your legs.

[Brian Green]

It's weird. It's like no personal space day at the pre K. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know. Honestly, I sound like I'm complaining. It's not that big of a deal. I don't give a. But I kind of give a shit. Like, I don't want somebody up on my back. That part. If you're gonna. If you have to sit in front of me. Okay, I understand. Don't sit on my shoes, though. That's a little. But again, I don't know that she really even knew. I honestly don't. But if you're gonna. If you're gonna be like, in my.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Back, don't be strange, you know, when you're too close to somebody's back.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And that reminded me of a few times when, like, you go to the grocery store, you're waiting in line at, like, a Six Flags or a Disney World, and there's just that person that's a little bit too fucking close. Like, aggressively close. They're angry for some reason, and they're ready to pounce on you. And so they're going to let you know by standing very close. Kind of like when I'm driving down the street and I am one and a half feet from your bumper because you have a do a student driver sticker on your fucking car. That's right. Anyway, kids are done now. We move into the summer, so expect to hear lots more screaming and yelling. What a cockroach anthem that was, however, one of the best beginnings to any movie with that song has got to be Dazed and Confused. I was waiting for you to say it, but you didn't say it. Dazed, Confused.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's true. They do have it at the beginning of that movie. I need to rewatch that movie.

[Brian Green]

Everybody needs to rewatch that movie.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I haven't seen it in a while.

[Brian Green]

It's high time we watch that movie again. Yeah, we'll be here all week and we'll be right back to talk about TCB's endless day. Stay tuned.

[Rachel]

Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us, and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] TheCommercialBreak. Best to you and Astrid, Especially Astrid.

[Brian Green]

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're launching your first site or leveling up your business, Squarespace has everything you need. You can claim your domain, showcase your work with a beautiful, professional website, and even get paid all in one place. Four versions of the Commercial Break website have been designed and built using Squarespace. And one of my favorite things about Squarespace is how easy it makes offering services. You can set up a sleek customized website that not only attracts clients but also streamlines your workflow. You can schedule appointments, send on brand invoices, and even handle online payments. But we must talk about design because let's be honest, first impressions matter. With Squarespace's cutting edge design tools, you do not need to be a web designer to make something stunning. Their blueprint AI helps generate a custom website in minutes. Or you can choose from their award winning templates and easily tweak them to match your brand. It's drag and drop simple, but the result of look like you hired a professional. So if you've been thinking about building or upgrading your current website, now is the time. Head to squarespace.com commercial for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, you can use the code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com commercial and use the code commercial when you're ready to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Squarespace has long been a sponsor of the Commercial Break and we endorse it because use it. It helps entrepreneurs, content creators, small businesses and large businesses alike develop and design an online brand that is beautiful and functional. Squarespace.com commercial and use the code commercial and thank you to Squarespace for being a continuing sponsor of the Commercial Break.

[Emma Greed]

I'm Emma Greed and I've spent the last 20 years building, running and investing in some incredible businesses. I've co founded a multi billion dollar unicorn and had my hand in several other companies that have generated hundreds and of millions of dollars. The more success I've had, the more people started coming to me with questions. How do you start a business? How do you raise money? How do I bounce back from failure? So it got me thinking. Why not just ask the people I aspire to the most? How did they actually do what they do? I'm so incredibly lucky to know some of the smartest minds out there. And now I'm bringing their insights along with mine, unfiltered, directly to you on my new podcast, Aspire With Emma Greed. I'll dive into the big questions everyone wants to know about success in business and in life. Through weekly conversations, you'll get the tangible tools, the real no BS stories, and undeniable little hacks that actually help you level up, listen to and Follow Aspire with Emma Greed and Odyssey Podcast available now. Wherever you get your podcasts, this episode.

[Brian Green]

Is sponsored in part by Mint Mobile. Summer is almost here and Mint Mobile has a hot take I fully support. Forget the summer bottom. This year it's all about the savings bond. We're talking skimpy wireless bills and fat wallets. With premium plans Starting at just 15 bucks a month, you can keep cool without sweating your phone bill. Look, I used to dread when my in laws come into town and I gotta get an extra line on my wireless bill. The overages, hidden fees, ridiculous monthly charges. It felt like I was paying luxury prices for meh service. But when switching to Mint Mobile, it was a total game changer. Same great coverage running on the Nation's largest, largest 5G network and the phone bill shrunk overnight. I'm saving a ton each month and the service has been rock solid. You get high speed data, unlimited talk and text, and you don't even have to change phones. Keep your current number and all your contacts. Mint Mobile makes it easy. So if you're tired of bloated bills, now's the time to switch. Get three months of premium wireless service for just 15 bucks a month this year. Skip breaking a sweat and breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mint mobile. That's mintmobile.com TCB upfront payment of just $45 for three month five gig plan required. That's the equivalent of $15 per month new customer offer for the first three months only. Then full price plan options are available. Taxes and fees are extra. See Mint Mobile for details. I saw a very interesting reel the other day that I think I have to share and we have to have a conversation about now before this gets started. I shared this with Gustavo and Astrid last night and Astrid's like, great. Everyone's gonna think that you and I hate each other and that is not the truth. I just want to preface this. You'll understand in a second. So I want to preface this by saying Astrid and I do not hate each other. This is not why I'm sharing this. I'm sharing this. This is a very click baity title, but I think the substance, the gist, if you don't mind. Also a great podcast by our good friend Mike Pesca. Tuned in the gist of this reel from this psychological expert. This marriage expert is very interesting. It's thought provoking and I think it might be true. You want to listen?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, of course. That was a good build up.

[Brian Green]

Thank you. Now if I can just figure out how to press play on it. We're all going to be good. Oh, here we go.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

All right.

[Brian Green]

What is normal marital hatred?

[Tim Ferriss]

The essential rhythm of all relationships is harmony, disharmony, and repair, closeness.

[Brian Green]

This is Tim Ferriss, by the way, one of the world's most pro famous podcasters. Been doing this for a long time. I think he puts out like a podcast every three months or some like that.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

No, he does it once a week.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he does it once a week. Who's the guy who does it once a year or once every six months? You know what I'm talking about?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Kevin Rose or something?

[Brian Green]

Something like that. Yeah. And he gets like 78 million downloads or. Yeah, yeah. But this is Tim Ferriss, who is.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

He's been doing this for a long time.

[Brian Green]

Long time. Great interviewer and has a lot of thought provoking conversations and the word was a little muddled there, but what is marital hatred? And he's saying closeness, disharmony, disharmony, closeness.

[Tim Ferriss]

Disruption and a return to closeness. That's where the skills come in. How to move from disruption to repair. Our culture doesn't teach it. We don't deal with reality. The father of couples therapy back in the 50s said, the day you turn to the person who's next to you and you say, this is a mistake, I've been had. This is not the person I fell in love with. That said, famo is the first day of your real marriage.

[Brian Green]

So here that Fred Faimo is, first of all, what is Fred famo?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

I don't know either, but I like it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And also turning to your partner and saying, this was a mistake, this is not gonna work out.

[Brian Green]

No, I've been mistaken.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I've been had.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I've been had.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's the first day of your life.

[Brian Green]

That's the first day of your real marriage.

[Tim Ferriss]

What I want to say about disharmony, it hurts. It's dark. You can really, really feel like, what the hell did I get myself into? This is such a disappointment. And guess what, your partner's probably feeling that about you too. I talk about normal marital hatred. When you're in that dark phase, you date your partner. That's okay. It's part of the deal for many of it. I've been going around the world talking about normal marital hatred for, oh, my God, what, 30 years? This is true. Not one person has ever backstage and said, terry, what do you mean by that?

[Brian Green]

Okay, let's chew on it. I think what he's trying to Say is this I. If I'm picking up what he's putting down. If you don't mind me paraphrasing here, Chrissy, we're trying to say is that mating the honeymoon phase of a relationship, let's call it. We've all, and I think we've all been there. Mating is when you put on mating. Okay, the mating. The dance. The mating dance. Yeah, mating dance. Let's put it on. Let's bring it down to its most, to its most basic nature, which is mating, courting, finding a mate, a suitable mate and then doing a dance to get them coupling or decoupling, whatever you want to say.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I think of mating is sex, but that's me.

[Brian Green]

Okay, well, in the non sexual way, like us finding a mate, let's put it that way. When you're doing that, when you're trying to attract yourself to somebody or you're attracted to somebody, you want to be in your universe and you see potential in the situation. You are definitely not going to be 100% the person you are behind closed doors. Because let's be honest about it, the person you are behind closed doors, maybe even in very long marriages sometimes is just a little bit different. No one can be in your mind, no one can know you exactly for who you are in your perspective, every single moment of every single day. People can come close. I think I know Astrid pretty well. I think she knows me pretty well. Does she know every single thing about me that I ever think, that I ever want, that I ever desire? No, she doesn't. Because if she did, then Dua Lipa would be on this show. But the reality for a lot of.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I think she knows about Dua Lipa.

[Brian Green]

I think she knows about Dua Lipa, but she still hasn't gotten Dua Lipa to come on the show.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, that's a hard ask.

[Brian Green]

It's a we had.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I don't know for at that level Tom Papa on the show.

[Brian Green]

Why not Dua Lipa? I think we put our best foot forward because that is what we are. That's in our DNA. That's what we do. We do a mating dance. Just like those birds that have pretty feathers or baboons who.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I love watching those shows.

[Brian Green]

Butts get all pink and red and rosy. Right? When they're.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

The birds are the best.

[Brian Green]

The birds are the best because theirs are.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

They look like a whole little dance, actual dance.

[Brian Green]

They shake their feathers and they twist from one way and they twist from the other and they cock around. Yes, it happens in the Wild. It happens here. You put on your. You're on your best behavior, you show your best feathers, you do your best dance, you have your best baboon butt shine. And you peacock it. You peacock, you peacock it. I'm peacocking my way through the bar. That's what we do. And like it or not, that often lasts a little longer than most of us would like to admit. We want to make sure that that person knows that we're the best, most suitable person for them at, like a genetic level, at like a DNA code level level. We are trained, we're born, we're bred to put on that show for as long as it takes to secure the deal. And because we tend to mate with one person for life, at least some people do. Unless you're the poly family, then you mate with seven people for half of your life.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

We've got to discuss that.

[Brian Green]

Oh, we do.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I got caught up on it.

[Brian Green]

We'll get there.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Then at some point, it all comes crumbling down. It all starts to shed because life, stress, kids, money, stomach, viruses. Yeah, flu, flu is the thing that'll take it down real quick. Flu will take that wall down real quick. It all starts crumbling in some way, shape or form. It's hard to put on that performance for a very, very long time. And we know this about people who are famous. We know this about pastors and preachers and priests. We know this about our own partners. I think what he's trying to say is at some point you go, I remember when Brian was not such a bumbling, stumbling moron. Right. It just happens. And that doesn't. I think hatred is a clickbait word used to antagonize and to prep for a tough conversation. Okay, but I do see what he's saying is that you go through the. And if you've been in a relationship long enough, you go through these cycles of amorous and being enamored with somebody and then maybe not so enamored with them and then maybe irritated by them, and maybe there's some kind of discord or disharmony. And then if, you know, if you have the skills to navigate that, then you come back together. There's that conversation, there's that tough situation that kind of breaks the. The stalemate, so to speak. There's a fucking A fighting, I don't know, whatever it is in your relationship. And it can be probably multiple things in different situations. But then that closeness again is felt. We now see the person for who they are today. And then we go back through the Whole rigamaroo again. I think this is a really wise thing.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

See what's on the dating apps, and then you realize what you got.

[Brian Green]

You go to Grindr. You go to Grindr, you get pegged, you stare yourself in the mirror and you say, well, this is who I am today. I'm gonna go back to Astrid and explain and get some marital discourse so we can get that closeness back together. I think this is a wise thing. And I think the longer conversation is we should be training people, we should be helping them, we should be sharing with them, we should be prepping them in relationships that this. This what you see today is not always what's going to be in front of you. And you need to be prepared for the eventual change and the change of the relationship and the nature in which the two of you interact. Do the dance, talk to each other, communicate love, fuck, fight, whatever it is. You need to be doing prep work because. And you need to be vigilant and aware that things are changing. And that's okay. That's what happens. I love it. I think it's great. And I think that there's a larger conversation here about loneliness, about kind of inability to be in any kind of sustained relationship with our young people today. Not all of them. There's lots of young folks. It's young folks. I know Gustavo and Ale. Right. They've been in a relationship for longer than I've.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, we have a. We have somebody that's doing the same thing.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Our family. So you can do it. You can do it successfully. And there are lots of people who are doing it successfully. But there's also lots of conversation, lots of research that shows that it's not being done successfully at many, many levels. And the birth rate is going down. Not that it matters if you have a baby or don't have a baby, you don't want to have a kid. I understand it's kind of a fucked up time to have a kid. I have 12 of them. I know. And. But there is this, like, undercurrent of stress amongst professionals, experts about the level of loneliness that's going on in this country. And some people think that's because there's. There's really an inability to understand what a relationship is, how it works, and to see it through. And so I think this is. Take marriage, take the word marriage out of it. Relationship hatred, like, you know, relate the strength of a relationship, the length of a relationship and the way in which it goes down. Down is tough. There's nothing easy about it. But, you know, if you really love that person and you see that it's worthy and you feel like it makes you a better person and you make them a better person, it's worth sticking it out. It's worth understanding, oh, 100%. It's not always going to be the same thing as it was the very same the very first day.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

No. And the high, there's. Yeah, it's. There's highs and there's lows, and hopefully the. The lows make you remember the highs.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And vice versa, too. I mean, you know, you just. Yeah. Be prepared. There's gonna be highs and lows. And if you really do love and care about each other and have a deep respect and have open communication with your partner, then you can make it through.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, absolutely. Listen, you think that it's just gonna be, you know, traveling around to the beaches and fucking five times a day. You got that? That's not how a relationship works. Pretty soon it's going to be dragging kids to Disney World and praying that you get five minutes to take a shit by yourself.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You know, having. And I've seen this happen. I think probably it's well known that. Yeah. I mean, adding kids into babies and kids and things into the relationship definitely changes things.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. I know a lot of people who think that, like, kids are like the problem solvers. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's right. Like, let's have a baby and everything will be good.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I don't. I don't.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That if you're having problems in your.

[Brian Green]

Relationship, have a kid. They said it'll fix our relationship. They said, no, kids are the worst because then the kids suffer because you're an idiot, and then the kids suffer. You know what I'm saying? That you're an idiot, but you're an idiot. And I also know a lot of people and, you know, I haven't talked about this in years on this show. Year. I just said years. Like, we've been doing this for years on this show.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, we mean, we've been doing the show for years.

[Brian Green]

We've been doing the show for years. That's what I said. There's an S after that. Years after the year. There's an S. It's crazy. I have been married twice and my first wife, a lovely woman who I have a lot of respect for and will always. There'll always be a place in my heart and in my head for her. When it was time to break up, we decided to get married. And a lot of People do that because the marriage will fix the issues. If we could just get married then on the other side of that wedding, it's smooth sailing. And so I myself fell victim to that grass is greener on the other side kind of thing. It just doesn't work like that. It just never works like that. If there's trouble, if the waters are choppy now you got to get to calmer waters before you decide, before you decide to sail on. That's it. Period. End of sentence. Kids do not fix anything. Marriage does not fix anything. Moving in does not fix anything. Let's take it all the way backwards. Fucking does not. Well, fucking fixes a lot of stuff actually. Fuck. Do more fucking. That fixes some things. It fixes some things. It can fuck.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Be safe. Don't have a kid.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, be safe. Rapid ribbit rabbit. Let it go. Oh no. I think Tim Ferriss really provoked a very interesting conversation with this guy coming on. I enjoyed it. I thought it was really smart. And I thought that if more people would understand this going in then they would be prepared for the long run if that's what they choose to do. I'm not saying like monogamy is not for everybody. We know that. Look at that poly family.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That poly family should be monogamous.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they should be monogamous. It's just so difficult, I mean, so difficult to navigate. And then. So poly family is a brand new, fantastic life giving dramedy on tlc, of course, my favorite television station about two couples and children. So it's a poly family, but it's not poly. It's a closed poly family.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I think it's what they call it closed quad. That's what they call it.

[Brian Green]

It sounds like a basketball court. I'm on a. I'm going to the closed quad.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You want to come with four?

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

So and they're closed. And it's two married couples that. Yeah. And they each got together, moved in together. One couple already had two kids.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Then they got together, moved in together, did the whole thing. I guess they didn't really marry each other. They're all together.

[Brian Green]

They're all together.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, they're actually not all together. They're not the husbands, which every day.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I think this is one day on, one day off. One day on, one day off. He switched.

[Brian Green]

Switch.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Switch.

[Brian Green]

This is one long episode of the.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Women aren't together and the men aren't together.

[Brian Green]

No. This is one long episode of Wife swap. This is what that is. It's one long episode of white swap.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

They wanted to have sex with the other people.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I want to have. Can I bone your wife? Yeah. You don't mind if I bone your wife? No, not at all. Come on. Yeah. You want to move in? We'll share the mortgage, split the bills.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

By the way, I hate you. Oh, I hate you too. Yeah, the men hate each other. Hate each other. Yeah. They're trying to play nice for the cameras. And they're not even trying to play nice for the cameras.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Speaking of adding kids into the mix then. And that's what they did. So not only did the one couple already have two, then they. Then each of the wives had kids at the same time, had one baby each at the same time. So now those kids are toddlers running around. And then the one another wife had another. Just had another baby. Had another baby newborn. So I've got two toddlers newborn. Like the other ones are like 5 and 8 or something. I mean, throw that in.

[Brian Green]

And just to let you know, they do not know who the father of any of the children are, because that makes life easier. Well, okay. I don't want to get into all the. About the show. Go watch it. There's three episodes. It's like.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's miserable.

[Brian Green]

It's a miserable show. It's a miserable situation. But I'll keep watching it because I'm fascinated. I just want to see the two guys go at it at some point, really get down to it. And one guy's a big fluffy, sensitive hairball, and the other guy's a big tough guy with fucking dick swinging. So it's two completely opposite personalities and they just have an extreme dislike for each other. But hey, he's. And by the way, one is the big sensitive hairball is clearly the better lover in the group because both women want him there. But the other guy, the guy with the big swinging dick, you know, he's a lug nut. And I think he pro. He's probably a one pump chump. And the. The girls are like, well, it's my day with David trying to find that I gotta get quicker at this. But then it's their time with. Sorry. Just going crazy on its own. But then it's their time to be with whatever his name is, let's call him Michael. So Sean's the big lug nut. And they're like, well, it's my time, my night with Sean. And then, then it's. And then they go, well, it's my night with Michael. Gotta get the lingerie, put on my makeup, take a shower. Shave my legs. Clean my.

[Rachel]

Hoo hoo.

[Brian Green]

Here we go. Michael's coming in the door. Because Michael's just more of a sensitive type. He probably connects romantically a little bit better, I think. So. It's a very interesting look at a very interesting family. I'm not knocking it, if that's what you choose to do. I don't have any problem with it. It's just having cameras in the door. It clearly shows that this is not working out as well as they had expected it to work out. It's kind of a shit show, if I'm being honest. Okay, poly family, go check out Tim Ferriss's episode on marital hatred. If you're interested in that. If you're interested in having, like, learning some. If you're interested in kind of seeding your mind about what it takes to have a serious relationship for a long time, if that's you. If you're into it, then go. You know, the birth rates are going down like crazy, and there's a lot of experts that are very concerned about that. And then there's a lot of people who aren't concerned about it. They're like, that's okay. We don't need as many humans on Earth. But, you know, once it goes to a certain point, it never. You can never recover from it. So once it gets to, like, in Japan, they are literally paying like 5,000 yen. I saw that per year or something for the first 10 years. I don't know what it is to have a child because their birth rate is about to go negative. And once it goes negative, negative, it's like almost impossible to recover from that. And then you're going to have Brian and chrissy, bunch of 80 year olds at the villages, Tokyo, and no one's going to be. And then there's going to be no one to do anything. Everyone's just going to be retired. This is going to be a senior citizen. It's going to be one large senior citizen island. And hey, if Tokyo is where I got to retire, doesn't sound that bad to me. Besides the tsunamis and the earthquakes, I'm good with it. Cool. All right, so let's. Let's make a little bit of announcement here halfway through the episode, and we'll keep this going for the next couple of weeks. Weeks. We have been referring to our big special event on May 31 as TC as a 12 hours of TCB. For lack of a better name, quite frankly. It was a placeholder. It was a placeholder. 12 episodes, 12 hours. We just kind of. And we did the 12 days of tcb. So I thought it was catchy. However, we have decided we are changing the name to TCB's endless day. It's a big birthday bash. We're super excited. 12 at least episodes of the Commercial Break on May 31st. TCB's Endless Day, brought to you by Five Hour Energy. It is going to be brought to you with limited commercial interruption by 5 Hour Energy. They were nice enough to come in and to say, hey, we want to support you. So we're going to send you cases and cases and cases of five Hour Energy to keep you and whoever else is crazy enough to join you up all day long. And in addition to that, we are going to slim down the commercials to just three per episode. One in the beginning, one in the middle, and one in the end. That's amazeballs. So thank you very much to 5 Hour Energy. They've been a sponsor for a while. They're really cool. They're super supportive. And I thought this was like a lovely.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Their stuff tastes great.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And then they have Spicy Mango.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Spicy Mango.

[Brian Green]

I think it was how I say that on the commercial that really closed the deal.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Cinco de Mayo. Spicy Cinco de Mango.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Heard that. Commercially, you did a good job.

[Brian Green]

Thank you very much. I appreciate it. I used an authentic accent for that one. So TCB's endless day, sponsored by Five Hour Energy, May 31, starting at 10:00am Stay tuned. Make sure you're following us on all the socials or go to the website. Drop us a line. You want to join us on that day? 212-4333. TCB. Text us and let us know and we'll let you know how you can call in and talk to Chrissy and I say happy birthday to us. Because that's what it is. It's a big birthday bash.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It is.

[Brian Green]

And while you're at it. I know it's crazy. Five fuck years. I mean, technically, Five Hour Energy.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

There's something there.

[Brian Green]

There is something there. Maybe they saw it before I did. And technically, we've already been doing this for five years. Like, our first episode came out on April 23rd or something like that. Yeah. But we're too lazy to actually do it, you know.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Party. Yeah, we were late planning the party.

[Brian Green]

Now.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Now we're having the party.

[Brian Green]

Plus I like it when it stays light out darker. So I wanted to make sure we were past that time. You know what I'm saying? Chr. I want to make sure we have sunlight when we're ending this thing because we're ending it at what time? 10. You know, I did the math. Like I did the math for 12 days of TCB. And so when I did the math and I said, we're gonna do it from 10am to 10pm When I actually did the math, it was 13 hours, not 12. So however many hours is 12 episodes, that's what we're going to do for you. Expect nothing more. Okay. And if you get a 13th, that's just because you're being good. All right, let's do this. Let's take a break. And when we get back, Palladian Light Girls are taking over the Internet, and I'm paying attention. We'll be back.

[Rachel]

Why don't you text us? And we can text back and then you can text us and reply, then so on. It's a fun little game I've been playing, and I think you'll be great at it. 212-4333. TCB. That's 21 38, 22. You could leave a message, too. If you do, maybe you'll end up being the voice of the show. But be warned, the pay is not great. You could go to the website and drop us an email. Also tcbpodcast.com and while you're there, you can get a free sticker. Who doesn't want a free sticker? Just go to the contact us button and ask for one. Follow us on Insta at the commercial break and watch the [e-mail] now I'm gonna go back to that texting game you wanna play. Come on. Bye.

[Brian Green]

This episode is sponsored by Discover. If there's one thing we've learned from the entertainment industry, it's just how easy it is to earn a reputation, even if it doesn't reflect who you really are. For example, everyone thinks that Discover is a card that isn't widely accepted. But in reality, it's accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide wide. Yeah, 99%. So maybe now you'll think twice before judging a book by its cover. Unless it's a celebrity cookbook. In that case, judge away. Based on the February 2024 Nielsen report. Learn more at discover.com credit card.

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[Brian Green]

I have taken notice to you remember we did Palladian light girl, of course, the girl who was talking in light language. Some of you will remember that we found this girl. Girl, the Internet found this girl. Really. And it just came up, happened to come up on my algorithm. And she was claiming to be a light being from another universe that came down with this special alien light language. And she could only, only she could talk to the alien aliens. But you could learn it if you spent $10,000 on a course with her. She did this whole video about it and in the background was a yappy little Shih Tzu who literally was on her floor. She didn't pay attention to it. She just kept speaking the alien lightning language. So I don't know where she is. I haven't seen her in a long time, actually. But very pretty blonde girl living, I think she said, in the Hollywood Hills or wherever. Must be nice. And a couple of years ago when this came out, I thought, what a strange young lady. But, you know, to each their own. She doesn't seem to be doing any harm to anybody except for taking $10,000 for a course. But then over the last couple of months, I started to notice, notice that girls that look, dress and act very much like alien light language girl have started to pop up, crop up all over my Instagram feed. Satina and I went out there and we did a little research and we literally found dozens of these young ladies. And a man actually not just not to just, you know, on the women here that men are doing this too, who now are speaking some form of this alien light language. Now, I don't know what's going on here, Chrissy. I gotta imagine that new age spiritualism, which started really, you know, I mean, there's always been kind of this, like, weird Eastern, not weird, but this Eastern philosophy of spirituality found inside you, not outside you. And the religion and spirituality has birthed a lot of strange things over the years. It's nothing new there. But this phenomenon. Phenomenon is rather odd to me that these girls, majority of them, are speaking in tongue and claiming to speak to alien light beings and getting messages.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

If you look in the comments section of some of these girls who are being followed by a lot of people, and a lot of them are. A lot of people are just taking what they're saying at face value. It seems like really going down the rabbit hole with them. Cult. If I. I don't mind.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, a lot of people are looking for things there.

[Brian Green]

We are all. Yeah, we're looking for any kind of meaning, any kind of normalcy, and we want to have some kind of ticket to ride somewhere that's not this miserable shit show we find ourselves involved in currently. I get that. I do.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Right. On a comet, actually.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's right. Ticket to ride. A ticket to have alien light babies up in. Up in space. But if you read through the comments, which of course I do, on a number of these girls, there are linguistics experts who are saying that one specifically I will recall on one of these reels. Maybe I can remember which one it was. If we look through a couple of them who said, I am a linguistics expert. I have studied people speaking in tongue in religious ceremonies for years. Years. And sometimes people go into, like, kind of a crazy trance and they start to speak a language that is clearly not forced. They're not thinking about it. It's. It's literally mumbo jumbo coming from the inside of their mind that does not sound like or mimic an actual language. This is not that these people are trying to make up a language mimicking other languages. Meaning they're thinking about it. They actually have. They're forcing it to happen. Right. And I think you can clearly figure that out by this.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Are they speaking some of the. Like, are they all talking differently?

[Brian Green]

A lot of them. I don't think you could tell the difference. Well, let's listen to a few of them and we'll see. So I put together a collection of reels here. I'm not going to give away the names. I'm not here to, like, pick on anybody specifically. Not really. All right, let's take a listen to what some of these people have to say and some of their alien light language. Language. Okay.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

It's like Russian and Spanish put together. Oh, yeah. Meanwhile, she's rubbing a rose all over her chest and face. What is go. What in the good Lord is going on here? What happened with this poor girl? Oh, my God. I know. Seven of these people in real life, by the way.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Right? I was gonna say.

[Brian Green]

All right, here's another one. Take a list.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, what are they saying? What are they saying?

[Brian Green]

They're getting messages from the universe.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And what is the message?

[Brian Green]

They never tell you that part of it because they're concentrating too hard on their language. Oh. Implanting new subconscious programs in alignment with sacred health, wealth and abundance in all forms. Arms.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Sacred.

[Brian Green]

Magical. Sacred. Sacred Wealth Formula. The Sacred Wealth Formula. If she even knew. They all sound the same. It's all shock, shock, shock, shock.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Anchoring you into your soul's highest vibrational expression of. Of divine abundance.

[Brian Green]

Ah. Divine abundance. That's exactly what I've been looking for.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Sacred divine abundance.

[Brian Green]

Yes. I'm looking for sacred divine abundance. Thanks, Five Hour Energy. I know sign language. Yeah, it's sign language only. I know someone who actually does sign language, and I'm sure they'd say that's too. Okay, so there's another one. Let's take a listen to a third one here. Okay.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

Oh, here's an interesting one. There's a lot of talk of aliens in my book. I am a Pleiadian. Most of you probably are, too, or at least some sort of hybrid of a Starseed family. And I read about the Pleiadians many years ago, and instead of feeling like, whoa, this is weird, I innately knew.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That what I was reading, instead of.

[Brian Green]

Thinking, whoa, this is weird, I instantaneously went to Cuckoo. Cuckoo Logo.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I can tell you thought, I know a way that I can turn this into a business.

[Brian Green]

Exactly. And this one is one of the most famous of them all. She's got a lot of followers, and she sells a lot of books and a lot of courses. You know, she's a Palladian starseed. Palladian Starseed.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Or at least a hybrid is what she says.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, listen, we're. If you think about it, we are all starseeds. If you, like, really think about it, we're all starseeds. You're not a fucking Palladian. What? The Palladium?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Isn't there a venue called the Palladium?

[Brian Green]

There was a venue called the Palladium. Seamless venue. Accessibility as true. This was the truest thing I had ever known. It was everything I felt in my body, but never could articulate. You could never articulate that you were a Palladian. That's what you Were hoping to articulate it just. It all came out once you read the book about Palladians. Until I read the channelings of the Palladium. The Pleiadians are dense. So I decided to extract their wisdom.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Pour it into my book.

[Brian Green]

And pour it into my book that you can now is now available on Amazon.com.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. This is all a grift, by the way, in case you weren't picking up on it. Oh, oh, here's a guy. There's a dude. Let's see.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Is he hammering that?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. No, he's got a. He's got one of those.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's a corn cob.

[Brian Green]

It is a corn cob. It's a corn cob drum. Yes. I want to know, for anybody who follows some of these folks and is into this kind of thing, what are you doing? You getting out of this? Like, are you actually vibrating when you hear this? Is there some kind of messaging that's coming through to you? Do you feel like you have a better day after you listen to one of these in the morning? Are you feeling some kind of connection to these people? Because this guy literally looks like some. A character out of a movie. He's wearing Lululemon a little bit too tight. Long hair, beard, balding. I mean, I don't know what's going on here, but this is strange to me.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It really is.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Just to let you know that the dudes are in on it, too. Okay, Maybe one more here. Oh, no, no, no. That's. That's not that. Okay, so, you know, I don't know what's going on. I don't know, but it just all seems a little too.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. What? I mean, I can't get my head around it. So they're channeling and saying all of these things from aliens. Yes, from aliens.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

The Palladians.

[Brian Green]

Some of them are Palladians. Some of them are more generic. Alien light language girls. Yes, the Palladians.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

But the Palladians is a species of aliens.

[Brian Green]

It's a species of aliens, and they believe that they've been dropped down here on Earth and they've co. Mingled. Co. Mated with humans.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay? That's how the hybrids.

[Brian Green]

That's the hybrids happening. And that if you're a Palladian, then you will activate when you hear certain languages, and you will activate your Palladian penis. Your Palladian penis. Your Palladian penis will come alive.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And then all of a sudden, you're gonna have wealth and abundance. Is that what it is? Because the old wealth and Abundance trick.

[Brian Green]

That's how they get you. That's how they get you.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Who doesn't want.

[Brian Green]

Who doesn't want.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Who doesn't want sacred abundance?

[Brian Green]

Who doesn't want sacred abundance in all forms? Yes. Who doesn't want. Want a $400 million jet that they can ride around like these preachers do? Because this is what the abundance preachers are doing too. They're. They're claiming that Jesus Christ wanted you to be filthy rich at the expense of whoever. Because abundance means that you are living at your highest form. And that clearly is following in the teachings of Jesus. Because these people are playing an age old parlor trick, an age old cold onesie twosie, as my daughter would say, which is to make you believe that you too can be just as rich and healthy and wealthy and loved as they are, or claim to be. If you only follow the steps they have behind this paywall or behind this donation, or behind this gift basket or behind this next retreat. And you just go, keep on going up through the levels. If we have covered one of these, we have covered 30 of them. And it's not a particularly hard concept to understand. It's basically MLM for your soul.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh yeah, that's what I was going to say too, that the, the yoga.

[Brian Green]

Whatever her name is, that you have.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

To move up the levels and do the things and whatever.

[Brian Green]

It's Scientology. The more you pay, the more secrets you get, the closer to God, you know.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Don't say that word.

[Brian Green]

I'm sorry. Yeah, you're right. That means this episode you'll never hear techn cameras are about to explode, but you get it. Like, this is very much a well worn path and one that a lot of people make a lot of money doing. And this is just yet another version of this enwrapped in new age spirituality. But I promise you that at the end of the day, most of these people, most of them, some of them, I think are just like, maybe they truly believe the bullshit. Maybe a few of them, even the bullshit makes them feel like better people. They do better things or whatever. But a majority of them are jumping on a bandwagon. They see an opportunity to make money. And as long as they keep selling the books and the retreats and the lotions and the potions and the Alamogotians, then at the end of the day, they are getting enriched at the expense of your, you know, your want, your desire, your need to be connected in some way, shape or form. I had a saying and I think everybody who's heard it has loved it. Do you know what the most expensive thing at a strip club is, Chrissy?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Hope.

[Brian Green]

Hope. I hope she gives me her phone number. I hope that's her real name. I hope we end up together.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Now, not to diminish hope. No, in and of itself.

[Brian Green]

No. No, Hope is awesome.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You gotta have hope that you know things are going to be better and things are going to get better and be better for you. And that should push you to. To strive to do things. But not.

[Brian Green]

Hope is one of the most. Yeah, hope is one of the most beautiful things in the world and powerful things in the world, and I believe in it with all of my being. But I don't want to hope on false prophecies. That's just what I don't want. It's all in here.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's not exactly. You don't. You shouldn't need to pay for it now.

[Brian Green]

If I got to pay somebody $10,000 for it, first of all, I can't afford it. Second of all, I'm not going to. First of all, I can't afford it. Maybe I'm the one who's an asshole. Just because I can't afford to go to the alien Light language retreat in, you know, New Finland, Peru, where we're gonna stay at a five star Ritz Carlton and you're gonna get a, I don't know, a sage bath with my special, you know, monkey vag oil or whatever it is. We're gonna summon your sacred uterus to your most highest, abundant form.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Your Palladian penis.

[Brian Green]

Your Palladian will be inviting Palladian penises to come up to the Uterian uteruses and make sweet, sweet love money will fall from your vagina. I saw it happen one time on Palladia at the Pallad.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

Oh, we're all fucked. We're all fucked. Meanwhile, we can't get five people to follow us on Instagram and some of these girls have 20 million followers. Oh, I know, it's crazy. A lot of people believe this. A lot of people believe it. And that's the saddest part about this, is that you can't clearly see.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, it doesn't hurt too, to be a beautiful young girl wrap in a very skimpy outfit, rubbing a rose all over your face and body.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I mean, when you're in a bikini.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

When you're in a string bikini rubbing roses on your willy. Hoohoo. And going 5:30.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That guy was talking to maybe AO alien.

[Brian Green]

Alien light language. There you go. You never know tcb's endless summer brought to you by Five Hour Energy. May 31st, starting at 10:00am, 12 continuous episodes of the commercial break, dropping one every hour until we drop one every hour on the floor here in the studio.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Just like the kid.

[Brian Green]

That's right. The freestyle. I felt for him that was a somatic response to stress. I saw it. Yeah. And I feel that because sometimes that happens to me. Yeah. Stop, drop and roll. Anyway, TCV's endless day brought to you by Five Hour Energy. Also in in with the help of COVID Creative Odyssey, our network, our wonderful network and CTB New York, our good friend Bella doing all the booking for the show. So thanks everybody. We really appreciate everybody chipping in. Final five years of the commercial break. Six seasons. We're going to be talking about it all because we're gonna have time to talk about it all. We're gonna have time to do six more seasons of the commercial break. 212-4333, tcb 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns or content ideas. Let us know if you want to be on the show. Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock, YouTube.com commercial break and tcbpodcast.com for all the information, all the comings and goings and your free swag. Still didn't tell that story, but I'll get to it. All right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I love you. Best to you and best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say goodbye.

[Astrid]

You ever hit that moment when your kid asks for help with homework and you and you're like, wait, when did long division get this complicated? Or maybe your child's flying through lessons and getting bored in class? Yeah, been there. Whether they're struggling or soaring, IXL can make a real difference. IXL is an award winning online platform that helps kids really understand what they're learning. It covers math, language arts, science and social studies from Pre K through 12th grade. And it's actually fun, engaging, personalized and packed with encouraging feedback to help keep them motivated. Motivated. IXL is used by 96 of the top 100 school districts in the US and it's no surprise it's backed by research. Kids using IXL are scoring higher on tests and studies from almost every state show they're consistently doing better. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and listeners of this podcast can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixcellearning.com audio visit ixllearning.com audio to get the most effective learning program at out there at the best price, it's.

[Gustavo]

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[Brian Green]

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