Heart To Hell!

Summary

The Commercial Break – "Heart To Hell!"
Episode Date: May 15, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green and Kristen Joy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break hilariously tackles everything from the debate on how often we should be washing our legs, to unexpected tales of public preaching against the band Heart, to a deep dive into Netflix’s support of comedy and the phenomenon of celebrity roasts. Bryan and Krissy keep the spirit improvisational and irreverent, riffing on pop culture, bathroom routines, and the anxieties of performing live. Listeners are treated to a mix of observational comedy, personal anecdotes, and the show’s signature banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. A Major Shower Debate: Do You Need to Wash Your Legs?

(00:52–11:23)

• Bryan triumphantly announces that he was right about not needing to scrub your legs every shower – recent articles cite doctors who say the soap run-off does the job.

  • “I am saying I clean every part of my body like a true champ… But the legs…” – Bryan (05:23)
  • Both hosts admit to not washing legs every day, sharing TMI bathroom regimes and joking about the social pressures of hygiene.
  • Krissy: “That’s why I love a bidet. I don’t know why they’re not more of a thing here.” (06:06)
  • Bryan: “If I got into a car accident and one of the springs in my seat got stuck in my ass, I want the emergency workers…to go, this is bad…but man, does it smell good down there.” (05:23)

• Pedicures and Pumice Stones:
  The discussion veers into self-care. Bryan, initially hesitant, now pumices daily after his wife introduced him, leading to awkward but funny pedicure stories where his efforts disappointed his nail technician.

2. Live Show Anxiety & Planning

(11:38–15:57)

• The hosts discuss plans for live shows in Florida, Charlotte, Nashville, and Atlanta, joking about their lack of fame and the fear of hostile crowds.
  • Bryan: “They’re going to show up to some unsuspecting club looking to see actual comedy, and they’re going to end up with us two yuckles and yakkals over here…” (13:20)
• Both admit to performance panic and come up with comedic solutions: performing behind a curtain, in disguise, or as just shadows.
  • Krissy: “I think I’m gonna wear sunglasses and act like no one’s there.” (15:02)
  • Bryan: “…behind the curtain…they can shine a light…so you can see our shadows…” (15:13)

3. Netflix Is a Joke Festival & The State of Comedy

(18:33–25:13)

• Riffing on Netflix’s support of comedy via specials and the “Netflix Is a Joke” festival.
  • Bryan applauds Netflix for investing big in comedy and hosting countless great comics (“…Ted Sarandos and Netflix are supporting comedy in the way that they are. And what a fucking lineup.” – 20:22)
  • The success of John Mulaney’s hybrid live show, and Netflix’s focus on live streaming, get a positive nod.
  • Joke about the Commercial Break hosting Netflix’s 2025 festival from behind a curtain: “2025. Netflix is a joke hosted by the commercial.” (22:47)
  • “You and I, behind a big white sheet. Let’s say Hollywood Bowl…” (22:56)

4. Roast of Tom Brady: Humor & Boundaries

(25:13–34:24)

• The hosts dissect the Tom Brady roast, discussing the ethics and discomfort of targeting non-comedians or families.
  • They comment on jokes made about Kim Kardashian and Giselle, pondering the emotional toll: “I wonder how Kim Kardashian feels after she kind of walks into that room and gets busted up like that.” – Bryan (27:15)
  • Both agree roasts can get “mean-spirited,” especially when kids/family are involved:
    “I like to leave the kids out of things.” – Krissy (30:13)
• They also riff on the Robert Kraft spa scandal, finding humor in the ridiculousness of going to obviously shady places when one could afford much more private options.

5. Weird Real-World Encounters: "Heart To Hell"

(41:05–48:13)

• Bryan recounts visiting Charlotte and encountering a street preacher with a “Jesus Against Heart” sign, ranting about the band Heart as Satanic messengers.
  • “He was explaining that at one time, Heart—the two women in Heart—were angels, and they fell from the heavens down to earth to bring the satanic music of Heart to the masses…” (44:05)
  • The preacher’s relentless focus on Heart is juxtaposed with the reality that their audience likely isn’t leading society astray (“the average age of a Heart listener is 97” – Bryan, 45:48).
  • Memorable moment: a passerby enthusiastically agrees, “Yeah, man, yeah. Satan be fucking with all of us.” (47:29)

6. Reverend Rivalry & Scene-setting in Charlotte

(49:08–51:09)

• Noting Charlotte’s abundance of public proselytizers—and that unlike other cities, crowds were actually listening.
  • Bryan’s explanation to his curious children: “Banking. It’s adult stuff. You’re not gonna be interested…”

7. Rock Legends & The Power of Retired Bands

(51:09–51:55)

• Bryan and Krissy observe that senior acts like Heart and the Eagles can still fill stadiums, musing that the aging demographic may be the perfect concert audience—lots of expendable income.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On selective showering:
  • “I want you to know that I just read an article…a doctor says you don’t need to wash extra. Take extra care on your legs because the soap running down your legs and the abrasiveness of the water will do.” – Bryan (03:02)
• On pre-show anxiety:
  • “The entire crowd is just going to be against us… I need to share the fear.” – Bryan (14:27)
• On celebrity roasts and sensitivity:
  • “If I can give it, I have to be able to take it. I am a sensitive little baby and I often cry at comments on the Internet, but at the end of the day, I know that if I’m throwing darts, I have to be able to have darts thrown.” – Bryan (25:59)
• On the Charlotte preacher:
  • “He was explaining that at one time, Heart…were angels, and they fell from the heavens down to earth to bring the satanic music of Heart to the masses…” – Bryan (44:05)
  • “I don’t think there’s any fear that the Heart listeners are gonna stand up and cause destruction in this world. They’ve got knee problems. They can’t even run fast.” – Bryan (46:10)

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Important Timestamps

• [00:52] Deep dive into the “do you wash your legs?” debate
• [05:23] Hilarious, graphic hygiene instructions for Bryan’s kids
• [07:41] The discovery of the pumice stone and pedicure misadventures
• [13:20] Live show planning and comedic self-effacement
• [20:22] Applause for Netflix’s support of comedians and live comedy
• [22:47] Dreaming up The Commercial Break as hosts for Netflix’s comedy festival
• [25:13] Tom Brady roast discussion; boundaries and mean-spirited jokes
• [27:15] The Kardashian effect: Can celebrities take the heat?
• [31:12] Revisiting Robert Kraft’s infamous massage parlor scandal
• [41:05] Bryan’s Charlotte trip leads to an encounter with a Heart-obsessed street preacher
• [44:05] The preacher’s sermon on Heart’s ‘fallen angels’
• [47:29] Street validation: “Satan be fucking with all of us.”
• [51:09] Heart and the aging stadium-filler demographic
• [51:55] Closing banter and show wrap-up

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Tone and Style

True to their “Cheesecake Factory of comedy podcast” reputation, Bryan and Krissy serve nonstop, off-the-cuff, self-deprecating banter and running gags, jumping gleefully between topics. The episode is raw, playful, and occasionally raunchy—anchored by a long-running friendship and buoyant willingness to poke fun at themselves, each other, and the absurdities of pop culture.

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For New Listeners

This episode is an ideal primer for the show’s style, combining real-world stories with unserious but thoughtful social commentary. Whether you want cringe-worthy hygiene confessions, industry-insider comedy observations, or just an unfiltered take on a city’s weirdest preacher, “Heart To Hell!” delivers a sampling of everything the podcast loves best.

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Best to you in the podcast universe!

Transcript

[Brian Green]

Our anus is a useful thing indeed. The anus gives relief in time of need. We all have an anus. So no matter what you've heard, remember that anus is the proper word on this episode of the commercial break. Last time I checked, heart is not on every turn of my Instagram reel. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right?

[Brian Green]

It's Taylor fucking Swift. It's Ariana Grande. It's Olivia Rodrigo. It's, you know, it's Bad Bunny. It ain't not heart. Because the average age of a heart listener is 97. I mean, there. I don't think there's any fear that the heart listeners are gonna stand up and cause destruction in this world.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's wild.

[Brian Green]

They've got knee problems. They can't even run fast. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, boy. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the traveling Wilbury of the show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chrissy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe, let us delay no longer. Let us waste no time. Let us get right into it because I have big news. Big news on the podcast front. Big news for Brian. Breaking news. You heard it here last. I was right. This is like the. The third time in the. In the show's history I'm able to say that I was right about something. Anything, really, quite frankly.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Good, good.

[Brian Green]

So I'm very proud of myself that even though I did no research beforehand and had no statistical facts to back it up, now I do. I've got retroactively. Right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

What is this piece of truth that you shouted from the mountain top a year ago?

[Brian Green]

I said something a year ago that absolutely destroyed the Internet and I mean, got us two comments on Instagra that I admitted that of my two showers a day, possibly three, depending on, you know, how much I activity, I do. I shower for no reason. I shower for no reason. I'm literally peeling my skin off one layer at a time in an ultra hot shower for 40 to 5, 45 to 50 minutes a day. I admitted that I didn't know if I always washed my legs.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, right, right.

[Brian Green]

And so many people wrote in and said, you're disgusting. Well, a couple people did back me up. They're like, really? The water rolls down. It does. It does.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, I'm not an everyday. I'm not.

[Brian Green]

You're not an everyday leg washer. I'm not an everyday leg washer. Either. And I was right about this, that I said I think the water just rolls down. Like, do I have to pay extra attention to my legs?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Like the shin past the knee.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You know, like, I can go thigh.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I do balls, I do scrunch. Exactly.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You're in there.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'm in there. I'm digging deep.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Trust me, in between the th. It might as well get the thigh. Yes, but, but past the knee.

[Brian Green]

What's the point? Who's going down there? Who's smelling my shin? I don't know, but I don't think there's a shin fetish. I'm sure there is, but I, I don't subscribe to it. And I want you to know that I just read an article in the. I forget where it was. Huffington Post or something that a doctor says you don't need to wash extra. Take extra care on your legs because the soap running down your legs and the abrasiveness of the water will do.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

So I'm just taking. To take this all the way and say, why even bother? Just put shampoo on my head and let it roll on down. I. You know, when you have small children and you'll know this. When you have small kids. When you have small kids, you got to teach them everything. Those fuckers don't come out with a manual in their head. You know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, that's true.

[Brian Green]

They don't come pre loaded with software.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The latest version.

[Brian Green]

Yes. You don't get the wheel of death when they come out. You know, loading, buffering. So you have to teach them everything. And that's including how to bathe. You got to explain to them why it's important. And one of my kids, I'm having a little bit of a say a moment with him as we're trying to get to through the bathing stage. Like, okay, take a shower on your own. Wash this, wash that. And I mean, if I told him, I said, you got to get in your butt so deep your butt, you might as well just bend over, open your cheeks and put a scrub brush in there, because that's how deep you got to get in your butt. That butthole needs to be clean.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It does.

[Brian Green]

Your butt, your balls, your armpits, behind your ears and your hair. You always got to take care of those areas because they will get. They will. It will get out of control. Trust me. A guy who knows a guy who wore the same Doc Martens for five years in a row. I know, I know what unbathed smells like. And what could do for you? And so I, I'm teaching him. I'm like, you got to get in that butt crack. Don't be afraid. Get those fingers up there. I mean, if you have to stick a finger in your hole, stick a finger in your hole.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Make sure you gotta do it.

[Brian Green]

Make sure there's no extra booty juice down there. No one wants to smell booty juice. And you know, you don't want to leave a smell when you get out of the car on someone's upholstery. Okay, all right. When you go to a hotel, you don't want to leave a stain on the bed after you sit down. That's just a fact. Everybody should know this. But there aren't. You know, I think there are some people who don't know this, but okay, we'll get past that part. So I am saying I clean every part of my body like a true champ. If I want, at any given time, if I was to get into a terrible car, like, butthole related accident, I want those emergency workers, like, if I got into a car accident and one of the springs in my seat got stuck in my ass, I want the emergency workers to go, this is, this is bad. We've never seen anything like this. But man, does it smell good down there. What is he using? He smells fresh as a daisy down there. You know, if I could, I would take a shower every time I pooped. If I could, I would take a shower 100% of the time after I pooped. And as it stands, it's about 90% of the time. You gotta clean, clean, clean those areas. But the legs.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's why I love a bidet. I don't know why they're not more of a thing here.

[Brian Green]

Well, I think they're becoming a thing here. I, I know some friends who have installed those, like, you know, I don't know what you call them. Like add on bidet.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I guess I thought about that, but then it seemed complicated and I figured it would just mess up.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's gonna mess up.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You need the separate, the, the, the separate bidet.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. What I'm afraid of is like, you know, it goes rogue or something and start. You lift off the chair.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Water spray everywhere.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You know those old cartoons where like they would hit the fire hydrant and then they would just go flying up in the air, like, but up and down. Yeah, Scooby Doo or whatever. I'm afraid of that. I'm nervous about that. I don't want any butthole related accidents If I can avoid them. But if they. If I happen to have one, I want to smell good. And I guess if you get into a bidet accent, you're probably going to have a fresh tucus, right?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

So I'm telling you, you don't have to wash the lower extremities. According to these doctors and who these doctors are. I don't know if they have any specialty in. In leg related bathing. Yeah. But I'm telling you right now, I don't think it's necessary to wash your legs every time. I. If I had to venture a guess, I'd say once every week. If you're like an everyday shower kind of person, which you should be. Absolutely. But if you're an everyday shower kind of person, I would say once a week, give it a good scrub and, you know, just kind of go up and down.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And then leave it alone. You don't need to wash your legs, guys. I'm telling you, behind your knees. You know, if you're an extra sweaty person, behind your knees, but just leave the rest alone. And now. You know what? I'm getting into that. What is that? What is that? A pumice. You know what a pumice is?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Pumice stone.

[Brian Green]

Hey. I didn't even know what a pumice stone was until I met my lovely wife who came with a pumice. Like, I got married to her, and one of the things she brought into the marriage was a pumice or a poma or pomas or whatever the you call it. And so now I'm pumicing my feet.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Yeah, that works.

[Brian Green]

Ah. So I know this sounds a little effeminate, but I don't give a. You should go and have a pedicure every once in a while.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Absolutely. Jeff, get some. Yeah. We go Manny Petties together.

[Brian Green]

I don't do the manny, but I do the petty. And. And I don't love my feet. I don't love feet in general. It's not my thing. But after I got over that and I found a person that I really like, that does it. Well, yes. I just go for the massage. Quite.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's what Jeff loves.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't get the extra massage.

[Brian Green]

Cut my nails, then go for the massage. That warm soapy lotion that they put on you. This is lovely. And there's. There's a particular woman who I just love. I love her. I always give her a great tip because I'm like, God, you. I. I talk into a microphone for a living. Imagine if this microphone was a foot, right? And it was just in your face all the time.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I thought about that too.

[Brian Green]

But you had no control over what foot it was. You can imagine the kind of insane drama that comes in there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Dangling toenails, you know, I don't know what you call it. Crotch rot. What is that? Gout? Whatever you got down there. And everybody wants to stick their foot in your face and tell you about their problems. So I go in there and she. The first time she's using this pumice, and man, does it hurt. And she's like, you gotta. You gotta do this.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Keep up with it.

[Brian Green]

A couple times a week at least. So now I'm doing it every day.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But I. I love your extreme.

[Brian Green]

I do.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Fuck it. I'm in. I'm in 100%.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Let me give you a day, sometimes.

[Brian Green]

Twice a day, three times a day, sometimes. No, I only pumice at night because I don't want to, like, tear my skin up. But so then I go for a petty. I don't know. It was like a month and a half ago and it'd been like six months since I'd been. I like to go maybe once a month, maybe once every month.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So I go, same lady. And she looks at my feet and it was as if I had cheated on her. She was like, what happened to your feet? And I said, what do you mean, what happened to my feet? And she goes, they're so smooth. You don't have any of this extra dead skin just growing into a big monster on the back of your heel. And I'm a flip flop guy. So you get like. It gets extra nasty back there. And I said, I'm using a pumice. My wife brought it in here and she looked so disappointed. She was like, this is why you haven't been in. You don't have any problems I need to take care of. You know that one time they took a cheese grater to my feet? Yeah, cheese grater to my foot.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Those things. I know. I used to like getting that, but then it's not really good for your feet, apparently.

[Brian Green]

Well, I think I needed it. I think there was an emergency situation.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

They had to get in there.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I was. Was there one day. This is like, I don't know, the second, third petty that I get. I was there one day and then she goes, I'll be right back. And then there was like a convention of, you know, let me go get the special tools. There was a convention of older Filipino ladies Back there and they were all like talking and they were looking at me and I was like, oh. And she comes back out with a cheese grater. And I was like, what's that for? And she's like, it's just a big problem in the back of your feet. And I was like, oh, no. Meanwhile, I thought my feet were fine. And then she's like literally like tearing off pieces of skin as if it was parmesan cheese. I know the waiters come by and they're like, just stop and say when you're done. It was never done. I got a 60 minute foot. I got a 60 minute foot, you know, procedure. And 45 of it was spent with a cheese grater on my foot. So anyway, don't worry about your legs, guys. It's all taken care of. We've heard from the doctors who those doctors are. I don't know, I don't care. But those doctors have agreed with me that you do not need to wash your legs every single time you're in the shower. Because the soap. Soap running down your body is quite frankly, enough. It's just enough.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Case closed.

[Brian Green]

Case closed. I'm so happy to be right. I was so excited when I saw this. I wanted to pick up the phone and call you, but I figured she's probably busy, she's not going to be excited. So I send the article to my wife as if she's going to be excited about anything that I do.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right?

[Brian Green]

Anything that I do. My wife just desperately tried to get away from me at all times. Hey, before break, I wanted to mention this. We put a shout out to ask if people would come to the Florida shows. And people have responded.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Quite a few people actually have said that they will come to the Florida shows. They live in Florida. They'll come to the Florida shows. So thank you to all those who've responded. Now I got a question for you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know somebody that's going to come.

[Brian Green]

Too to the Florida shows. Oh, fantastic.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Jeff. And he lives in Florida.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he does go. Yeah, I think that's kind of a. I have to go because it's my. No, my friend's wife. I gotta go support. I think that's what it is. Let's not pretend that we're important. I don't want you to get ahead.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He's a lot of fun. He's a great guy.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'm sure he is. He's like. You're like, oh, my God. I think we're gonna do a show down in Florida. And he's like, oh, that's great. And in his head, he's calculating. He's like, do I like Jeff enough? Are Jeff and I close enough to to have to attend this event? And he said yes. In his brain, he's like, oh, that's great. You know, if, if I'm that day, I would love to come support you. Yeah. If I'm in town, which I'm not going to be. What day is it? I'm not going to be. I, I, I. So anyway, people have said yes, they're going to come. And so we're thinking about doing a show in, in Charlotte, maybe one in Nashville and then possibly here in Atlanta. So any three of those cities. So basically, if you're in any of the southeastern states, let us know. I don't want to travel too far. That's the thing. I think we should go to New York. But then I'm like, yeah, New York's a different animal.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Ye. I'm not sure, Tam.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I love New York, but I don't know. I love playing a show in New York.

[Brian Green]

No, they're just going to eat us alive.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

That's it. They're going to show up to some unsuspecting club looking to see actual comedy, and they're going to end up with us to Yuckles and Yakkals over here, Ambon and Oakley in the morning, and they're going to want their money back. That's like my fear. I swear to God it is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

I go out of town for the weekend for, for Mother's Day, and I'm in Charlotte, right? And so I'm like, oh, this is a beautiful city. And this is one of the places, you know, we had bantered about maybe going and doing a show. So I'm there and it's just a lovely city and everyone's so lovely. But then at night, watching my show on my phone pillow and I get this like, mini panic attack that what's actually going to happen is unsuspecting people are going to buy tickets to the show and then ask for a refund or we're going to get. The entire crowd is just going to be against us. There's going to be one heckler. But you know how sometimes people heckle and the crowd is like, yeah, shut the fuck up, man. I paid to come see this guy. But then there are crowds that just turn all together on people. And I have seen it. And then when it happens, it's ugly. And so I'm just respectfully requesting thanks.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

For putting that idea even in my head.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It was not in my head.

[Brian Green]

Well, listen, I can't be the only one to have panic attacks about this. I need to share the fear.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I want you to panic as well.

[Brian Green]

I'm not panic. I'm not gonna be the only one panicking here. You gotta panic too. Because I figure if we're both panicking, then at least if I'm not on stage doing well, you'll be with me not doing well too. I don't want to be the only one who does bad. I don't want a video out there on the Internet where you're, like, you know, cracking jokes and everyone's laughing and I'm stumbling over my words. You know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think I'm gonna wear sunglasses and act like no one's there.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, sunglasses for sure. I'm thinking about wearing a wig, sunglasses, and a hat. I'm thinking about doing the show from behind the curtain.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

I'll just put a TV up. It'll just have our logo like we used to in the studio.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think that's the way to do it.

[Brian Green]

That is the way to do it. You know, a lot of things are on trend right now, and seems like strange is on trend. I don't know if you're paying attention to that. Netflix is a jokes festival that's going forever. Yes, but I want to talk about this. But I'll tell you what, what's on trend is being a little strange. So I think if we go in there weird, we can come out of it smelling fresh. And so I think behind the curtain and. And. And then maybe they can shine a light down in the curtain so you can see our shadows. But what we're looking at is. Yeah, it'll just be two shadows on a couch. It's gonna be awesome. You're gonna love it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We'll also disguise our voices.

[Brian Green]

Well, listen, most people don't know us from anything except for the podcast, because if our YouTube is any indication, no one's ever seen what we look like. So there you go. Shine a light and it'll be a. Like, a shadow concert. You're gonna love it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Shadow Show.

[Brian Green]

Shadow show. TCB at the Shadow Show. What's that? We don't see them. It's just their shadows. I love this. I love it. Chrissy. This is an idea whose time has come. You know, you got to be a little strange if you want to stand out. That's all I. That's All I gotta say. All right. Want to thank this week's guest, Mo Gilligan for coming on the show. He was wonderful. We loved him. Of course, he's blowing up too, everyone. We might get the timing right on this one, but Mo is lovely. Go to his website, follow him on all the social channels. And I, I know his US tour is over, but he will be back. According. Back, yeah, coming to him. According to him, coming back late this year, early next year. So, yeah, get ahead.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Maybe we can get him into the shadow with us on a show.

[Brian Green]

Listen, I'm desperately trying to find someone who will agree to come out with us who has some bit of experience.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Except that can carry the show.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, basically, I'm wondering if Kyle Kanane will just do a TCB and Kyle Kanane, because I'd really like to just go Kyle Kanane and TCB behind him in a shadow box. Muted microphones. Oh, we're just giving people, by the way, food to just destroy us when we get on there. Anyway. North Carolina, Tennessee, Georgia, Florida, if you're in any of those states and you'd like to go to the show, please let us know. That way Chrissy and I can count how many, how many people will be with us in the audience and how many people will be against us. We'll be back.

[Podcast Announcer]

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-4333, TCB. And you can text us anytime you want. Or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Of course.

[Podcast Announcer]

Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok CBpodcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G. And here they are.

[Brian Green]

I mean, have you been paying attention to the Netflix as a joke?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I've caught some of it, yes.

[Brian Green]

Holy. I, I love Netflix. I've loved it for a long time. Everybody loves Netflix, right? It's gotten more expensive and yeah, we have things to complain about now. There's an ad version and all that. But they're just trying to survive as a company, quite frankly. I think that's what's going on. They've got to eventually make money it's like Amazon. Amazon lost money forever and ever and ever. They didn't become profitable, I think, until the pandemic. Like, like actually profitable until the pandemic started. But look at what a great service that now Amazon offers everybody. Netflix is very similar. They were the first to do it. They disrupted the. An entire marketplace. Now there are no BL busters. Part of me is sad about Blockbuster going. A part of me goes, why the were we driving up to a small box and looking through thousands of movies that they never had anyway to then rent them for 1999 when I just pay 5.99 or 8.99, whatever it is a month? Netflix, I can say this, has stood behind comedy and stood behind comedians even when they, even when they are out of favor for some reason. I don't want to go through all the names, but you, you can kind of pick up on what I'm saying. But this Netflix is a JO Joke Festival is no joke. They have really put together quite an amazing festival.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Out in LA, right, LA.

[Brian Green]

I think it's a lot of different places. I think most of it is in L. A. I think it's like kind of ground zero for this. But it's a lot of different venues because didn't, didn't Leslie Liao was going to play Philadelphia Netflix as a joke or something like that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I don't know, but seems like a quarter of those comedians have been on our show. The Netflix is a joke. Yes, they've all, honestly all. But a lot of them have come through here and I just think it's great that Ted Sarandos and Netflix are supporting comedy in the way that they are. And what a fucking lineup.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's like they went all out.

[Brian Green]

They did. Have you been watching this John Mullany Mulaney show that's on the live one? Have you watched it? What a weird fucking hybrid of comedy and improv and late night talk show that he put together. Quite frankly, when the commercial started coming out, I'm like, this is going to be a turd of a show. But I was 1000% wrong. It is hilarious.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay, I need to check it out.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you do. You really do. It's. It's on live every night, right? Just for a week. It was like on live for a week.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, okay. On Netflix.

[Brian Green]

On Netflix.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Live. I think they're trying to turn the Netflix into a bit of a live platform where they do live shows because now they're gonna have Mike Tyson and that dingleberry fight live. On Netflix, you know, so I think they're trying to up their live game a little bit. And, you know, if. Do you remember when they had that reunion, the Love is Blind reunion and the entire app crash. They couldn't.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You were watching that. I didn't watch that. Yeah, that was.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I think they've upped their game since. I think that was like a practice run. And I think they're doing really well. But Netflix is a joke. Is really, quite frankly, it's. I commend Netflix. I love that they're supporting comedy in this way. I love that they're not just supporting the big comedians. Like one show they had Jerry Seinfeld and, you know, Sebastian Montescalo and I forget who else. Was it Jim Gaffigan and who was the other one? I can't remember. But everybody who is anybody in comedy has been on this Netflix as a joke.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Festival in some way shape or form. And I just. I think it's great. I love comedy. I love comedians. I think it's can be a noble profession. You're making people laugh when maybe they don't feel so hot or things are kind of stressful. And I don't know if you've noticed, but 2024 is kind of a show and it's not gonna get better, kids. I think they should have done Netflix as a joke in November, like, you know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

To end out the year, to end.

[Brian Green]

Out whatever, to end out democracy or whatever. We're gonna do, whatever is gonna happen. You know what I'm saying? I think they should have done it then. But I am happy for all of the comedians who we've had on this show who are getting their moment in the sunshine. Absolutely. And I'm also happy that Netflix has decided to go all in big time on comedy. So I'm going to make a prediction here on this show. 2025. Netflix is a joke hosted by the commercial.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And so we'll put it on the vision board. This is what I need the audience to do. I don't know why I say audience. This is what I need you to do. That single member, that single listener that's not attached to my family. This is what I need you to do. I need you to write Ted Sarandos and I need you to tell him, let him know that the commercial break not only ready, we are willing and able to be the grand MC for Netflix is a joke. 2025, because I think you think about this, you and I, behind a big white Sheet. Let's say Hollywood Bowl. Right, the Hollywood Bowl. Big spotlight behind a white sheet. And you and I sit back there nervously, probably drunkenly introduce, you know, Jerry, whoever's going to be there, Jerry Seinfeld, you know, Bert Kreisch, whoever's coming out there, Nikki Glazer, whoever it is. We just announce them, and then we break down the. Their. Their comedy act while it's going on, just like we do with videos. We break it down while it's going on from behind the curtain where, you know, we laugh and make fun of the people who are Laugh. Who are trying to make other people laugh and make fun of people. What do you think about this?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I like that. Except they would need to pause. I don't know if we could be doing our. Well, our show while they're doing their show at the same time.

[Brian Green]

Time.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But that's.

[Brian Green]

You see how he turned your microphone off there? That's what we do. That's what we do. I just have a mute button. I have a master mute button. And then I just mute people while they go out there, and then we can talk about what they're saying. Yeah, that's that. Chrissy, this will make us heroes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You might be on to something.

[Brian Green]

I. Who's gonna be funnier? The people out front or the people behind the curtain with the magic mute button talking about the. What crowd wouldn't be into this? You get double the comedy. You get the first joke, and then you get the joke that we tell after that about the joke that they told. It is it. It's like we would be in the third level of Inception. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And I love this idea, and I think it's an idea whose time has come. And I just need you to write ted Sarandos. That's Tedetflix.com. what if his email was really Ted at. It might be. Don't write it. Don't write it. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. We're afraid to do 50 people in Orlando. We're not gonna go to the Hollywood Bowl. So here's why I wanted to talk. Dream we can. Did you see the Roast of Tom Brady? Here's like, the. Here's really why I'm getting to the point.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, okay. I did not. I did not. I've been traveling and I did not. But I read some things about it.

[Brian Green]

What do you think about roasts in general?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think for the right person, it's okay.

[Brian Green]

What do you mean by that?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, I. I'm Trying to think of some of the other. What were the. What was it?

[Brian Green]

Comedy Central? Yeah, they roasted everybody. Donald Trump, Pamela Anderson. I mean, they did it. Did it, did it, did it. They did it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I saw some of those and they could be pretty funny.

[Brian Green]

I thought that the funniest one was David Hasselhoff. Was. Was really fun. The Donald Trump one was good, too. But, yeah, I. I agree. I think. I think they're definitely funny. But I will say this. I do think sometimes it gets a bit mean spirited.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And I worry about the, like, I don't care who you are. Comedians can take it on the chin. And this is what I've always said. If I can give it, I have to be able to take it. I am a sensitive little baby and I often cry at comments on the Internet, but at the end of the day, I know that if I'm throwing darts, I have to be able to have darts thrown. I have to be the dark board also. Yeah, but it's a. Tom Brady is not a comedian. Right. He's. And either is Robert Kraft or Kim Kardashian. I'm not defending them, but, you know, they went hard at Kim Kardashian. Did you hear some of those jokes?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, well, no, I didn't see the joke, but I read that, yeah, they.

[Brian Green]

Went hard after Kim. Kim Kardashian. And listen, I am no fan of Kim Kardashian at all. I think she's famous for doing nothing. She's famous for being famous. And I'm not here to argue how she got famous or her money. Great congratulations for her and her family and her mom who orchestrated all of this. But at the end of the day, like, people are people and they're human beings. And those. Some of those jokes came out of really came out of left field at Kim Kardashian. You know, her beef curtains and all this. I don't want to repeat all of it because I don't remember all of it. But anyway.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It'S a good reason.

[Brian Green]

I wonder how Kim feels after she gets out of that room.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm a little confused on why she was part of.

[Brian Green]

She got up and. She got up and did some of.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The actual comedians did the roasting, but it can just be anybody.

[Brian Green]

It can just be anybody. Okay. Yeah. And so she got up there. I'll tell you what, Jeff Ross, who's like the, you know, the king of these roasts, he was really funny, but it was that guy Tony Hale from Kill Tony, you know what I'm talking about? He went after everybody and he went hard. And I think it was him who made the joke about Kim Kardashian, specifically about the beef cards. I can't remember. But. But I'm not defending Kim or busting on anybody who made jokes about Kim. I'm honestly curious. I wonder how Kim Kardashian feels after she kind of walks into that room and gets busted up like that. What do you think? I mean, she's got to have thick skin, right?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I think so. I think you've got to have thick skin. And she's, you know, in the end, she can just post another selfie.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. In the end, she can just pay Elon Musk to wipe her brain with his new Nero link. Yeah, in some. In total, the roast was really fucking funny. It really was. There was a few parts where I was just like, oh, ooh, oh, oh. You know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, I saw that Giselle was kind of upset by, I guess, some of the things that were said. I don't know if that was to do with the family.

[Brian Green]

It's to do with the kids. The kids.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

They went. They went hard at. Not hard, but they went at Giselle. And the family. And the family dynamics are out there for the world to see, so I guess it's fair game. You know, when you live a public life. Life. When you live a public life like that, it's part of the trade off, I believe. Part of the tra. You get the riches, you get the fame, you get the adoration, you get the people who love you. But then you're also going to get people who dislike you. You're going to get a lot of tar thrown on you, and the press is going to be relentless about trying to find out every detail of your life. That is the trade off. The trade off is you are one of the top. 00, 0.1%. Right. That doesn't make any sense. 00.1.0. Brian, you're an idiot. You get what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I do.

[Brian Green]

You are up there in the upper crust, out in the clouds. Few people will ever live like you do. Few people will experience anything. I can guarantee we're not going to. But at the same time, that brings relentless and pressured spotlight on everything that you do. And so when comedians are making fun of the fact that Giselle supposedly was sleeping with her karate teacher or, you know, who. Who are the kid's real father or whatever that is. Yeah, I can see how that's hurtful to the family and to the kids, but is it kind of fair game a little bit. Like, you know, that you're out there in the public and. And that's the way that it is, I guess.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't know. I don't think the kids. The kids didn't choose it.

[Brian Green]

It. No, the kids didn't choose it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I like to leave the kids out.

[Brian Green]

Of things, but I like to leave the kids out of things, too. But I will say this is. The kids can also pay Elon Musk to wipe their brain with narrow links. There you go. The kids are also going to live in that. In the clouds, in the stratosphere. You know, they're not going. Their feet are never going to touch the ground, so to speak. And that's not their fault. That's just because they were born to two incredibly famous and by the way, incredibly talented and good looking people. Yeah. I mean, that's what you get. Get. When my kids grow up, they're gonna be like, why the. Are you my dad? Why didn't I get someone younger, more talented, better looking? I don't know, kid. That's just the way it is. I think in general on the roast, everything is fair game. Like, that's part of the.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, that is part of the roast. I mean, and he agreed to it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So, yeah, you have to kind of be like, nothing's off limits.

[Brian Green]

Well, someone made a joke about Robert Craft. Remember he was down in the massage parlors. Like, he got busted in one of those massage parlors getting a hand shandy. One of those jack shacks.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I mean, come on.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I mean, come on. That has got to be the fairest of the fair game. Right? You literally are going to a rinky dink massage parlor.

[Podcast Announcer]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Like in a strip mall.

[Brian Green]

Yes, in a strip mall in West Palm. And you expected that to stay a secret? Are you a fucking nudnik, Robert Kraft? Come on, man, Listen, that is the fairest of fair games. I don't care if you're Joe Schmo, my neighbor, or you're Robert fucking Kraft, owner of the Patriots. If you're going to a jack shack in a strip mall, that is fair game. I go to my neighbor next door and I say, hey, I saw you walking on a hot cock Asian massage the other day. How is the hot stone massage there? I'm thinking about getting one. I sent your wife a Texas. Hey. Hey, is that Joe barbecue this weekend? I saw Joe. I mean, that is the.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So good to see Joe.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, so good to see Joe out.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And about self care.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, look at Joe. Joe just Invited me for his massage. Couldn't make it, but drove by and saw his car. Hot Stone Asian Massage. I mean, you are Robert Kraft. You can afford to have the most beautiful dial a date ever.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Show up at whichever apartment you exact of the 5,000 that you own. Right. And it's probably in some penthouse somewhere. I mean, you probably own Robert Kraft. Probably owns a property in 72 different cities.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

He could have literally taken a private jet to Italy and hired the most incredible high end call girl to come to his front door and then paid her to never say anything. You know who does that also? Donald Trump. And so he could go and do that and no one would be the wiser. No one.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Hot girl showed up to Robert Kraft's front door. Who cares? But you walk out of Hot Cock Asian Massage, something's wrong.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I remember reading that story. I was like, what?

[Brian Green]

Me too. I couldn't believe it. I could not believe it. I was like, no, no, wasn't there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Was there like a raid? I think there was a raid.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, there was a raid.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And he got. He got swept up.

[Brian Green]

Mr. Craft, come out with your hands up and your pants down. This is the West Palm Police. We have nothing better to do. This is the third time this week we've been to Hot Cock Haze and Socks. And Robert comes and they said he got a blowjobbers. He was getting blowjobs or something.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Hey, so crazy.

[Brian Green]

Listen, get a blowjob, okay? Right? If your wife doesn't care. Cool, dude. Cool. I mean, you know what I'm saying? Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You think you would be a little bit more discreet?

[Brian Green]

You would think you would be any discreet. Not more discreet. A discreet at all discreet. You would think you would.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You would think.

[Brian Green]

But no. Robert Kraft is literally trolling the Walmart parking lot for an Asian massage house. I was. I go to a store the other day, my wife says, go get something for me. I go to the store. It's like this little. Right. You know, little is like the Aldi. Yeah, like the Aldi. So she says, go to this little island that's, you know, whatever. We're bond L, I D, L. Yeah. And in this strip mall, I had to go to another shop that was. So I just walked. I walked from the little over to the. To the end of the strip mall.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And so I'm walking and there is a new place and it's called Hot Stone Massage. And it's got a picture of two beautiful women laying face down with the stones on their back. And you know, one boob is like. You know, they're smooshed boobs because they're laying down and you can almost see the nipple, right? It's like everything is in plum, but it's certainly there. And so I said to myself, I need to. Just for show research, I need to go in there because there's a menu board I can see in. There's these weird curtains, blinds, like the kind of blinds you buy for your house. Right. Not the kind of blinds that commercial retail stores use, but like the crinkly tin blinds that you have are just all the way down to the floor, except for the front door that's glass. And it says open. It always says open. It always says, yeah, but that's not the. That's not the one I'm usually talking about. This is a different one altogether. But anyway, so I'm like, I. I walk by the door. I can see that there's a menu board, like a lunch menu board that you would put out in front of a restaurant that's sitting there on the floor. There's no desk. It's like a restaurant hostess stand. That's right there. Right. And so I go. As I'm walking by, I look in, I see the menu board, but I can't quite read it. I see the host desk. And then I see there's like these beads. You know, the beads where you walk in and out of a door curtain, the bead curtains where you get, you know, you've seen it in the 70s movies. Yes. On each side of the hostess dance. So I'm like, okay, Brian, you have to get some balls. Walk in and read that menu board. You have to do this. So I go in open to the neighborhood. They know no one was there. No one. No one greeted me. I walk in, ding dong. You know, there's music playing. There's like two little waterfalls. You know, the fake kind of waterfalls that you buy at Kmart. I don't even know. And I'm reading the menu board, and it's like, hot stone massage, hot oil massage, full body rub. It didn't even say massage. It said full body ruby. And then in the bottom, it says, ask for our other service. It did. It said, ask about our other services. And I was like, no way. No way are these ballsy? But I was there for. I was in there for maybe 30 seconds just to read the menu board. And I got what it was all. I'm not saying that that's what's going on there. I'm saying that's probably what's going on there. Okay. I don't know for sure. Yeah, I didn't go in and like ask for the other service.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You need to go further in your research for the show.

[Brian Green]

Well, I don't think my wife would appreciate that. But if it's first show, listen, if it'll help this show make money, I actually think she will be for it. Let me talk to her. So I walk in and I walk out. I'm telling you right now, maybe it is, maybe it's not. And I'm sure you can get a legitimate massage there. I'm sure of it. But probably not. You're probably going in. But here's my point. If my car was parked out in front of one of those places and anybody knew my car, then they would know that I was there at the hot stone massage place that is completely nebulous, has no other advertising except for a big picture of women's boobs. And ask for other services on the menu board. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yep.

[Brian Green]

So if Robert Kraft thought apparently he got a little touchy about that this. But if Robert and Tom Brady did too.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

Yes. They both. Yeah, they both were like said something to the comedian who made the joke like as he was walking by. He, they, they apparently told him that's full fair game. That is way fair game. And someone else, some other joke I can remember the Shane Gills who said it said they were asked not to say something about that. You got to be kidding. Maybe it was Jeff Ross himself. You got to be kidding me that you have to ask, ask comedians not to take that. That was big news for at least three weeks. You want to know why? Because Robert Kraft, an 86 year old Patriots owner, is getting a jack from a jack shack and not from a high end call girl who comes to his house.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

So stupid. All right, let's take a break and we'll be back.

[Podcast Announcer]

I know you're already on your phone, so pull up Instagram and follow us at the commercial break. And then follow us on tick tock@tcb podcast. Done. Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-4333, TCV. Or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story or anything really. We're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-433-33, TCV. And don't forget to check out tcvpodcast.com because that's got it all Speaking of having it all all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

All right, so I went to Charlotte this weekend. I told you that. Yes, I went to Charlotte this weekend. And I gotta share an observation. I'll just put this as an observation. So we're staying down in the, like, what? They are up in the uptown district where they have all of the big buildings and the banking center. You know, Charlotte is known for being a banking ground zero for banking. Wells Fargo, Truist, bank of America, they're all headquartered there and they have big data centers there and all this other stuff. So it's a big banking town. Therefore there's a lot of money probably in this town, I've got to imagine. So we're staying across from one of the arenas. It seems like they have a lot of arenas and theaters and stadiums there, don't they? There's like six or seven within a four block radius. It's really kind of strange. Of varying sizes and agrees. And they only have one professional team that I. Two, maybe they have two professional team. They have a hockey team. They do have a hockey team, I think.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Do they?

[Brian Green]

A hockey team and a football team. They don't have a baseball team and. Oh, I guess they have a. They have a basketball team, don't they? The Wizards.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I think so. I. I don't really know. Don't. Don't worry about it. Don't. Don't call me, don't text me. Yeah, Stop it. Okay? I'll figure it out after the show. Leave me alone. I'm supposed to do research before the show. I get all of that. I can hear people texting in right now. Okay. But anyway, they have all these different arenas and theaters and all this other stuff. So we're staying next to one of the arenas. So we go to go out to eat and we get stuck in traffic the second we leave this hotel. And I'm like, it's Saturday afternoon. What the. Why is there so much traffic? And I see a lot, and I mean, a lot of older folks walking with, you know, drinks in their hand, generally married, crossing the street. You know, all this. People getting out of Ubers to go into this theater, but it doesn't say outside that theater exactly what's going on in the theater. So I was like, oh, maybe there's like a show or something that people are going to. But what? This must be Frankie Valley or something. Like, who's got. What's the average age of the people that are going in there. It's like 70. You know, I thought to myself, why are you. Why are all these people all excited? People are wearing, you know, these signs say I love you, carrying signs in. Who is this? Who are they so excited to see? And I learn that it's Heart who they're excited to see. Heart.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Heart, yeah, the baby heart.

[Brian Green]

No doubt. Hart is talented. No doubt. And I understand that Heart is a kind of an iconic female rock band in a time when only males dominated rock and roll. And that a lot of women look up to them as kind of like. Yeah. So I'm not saying anything bad about Hart. Not my favorite band in the world. I just don't. I don't find a lot of their music pleasing to my ear. But that's neither here nor there. But one of the things that I noticed was a gentleman outside, he had a wagon, he was carrying a wagon and he had a dog in the back of the wagon and the dog had a heart shirt on.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Green]

And the guy was carrying a sign that said Jesus against heart. Like, but he had a heart drawn out, right? It says Jesus against heart. And I thought, wow, that's rather strange. But okay. So the next morning I get up to go get my coffee and I gotta find the local coffee shop, and then I'm walking, you know, about a half a mile to go get this coffee. And it's 7:45 in the morning. It's rather early. Yeah, there's not a lot of people on the street except for the people who are or probably should have gone to bed already. You know, a lot of people straggling, few people straggling around. Most of them look hungover, drunk, dehomed or whatever. But on the corner of one of these streets is the guy with his dog and the sign Jesus against heart.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He was still out there.

[Brian Green]

And he's got an amplifier and a microphone and he's giving a sermon to nobody. Because there is nobody out there. There. None. But I'm game, right? Okay. I just had a sip of coffee. I'm game. Why not? Let's see what this guy has to say. So I'm strategically standing probably about a hundred feet away from him, and I'm just sipping my coffee as if I'm just, you know, going for my morning stroll or whatever. I got my headphones in, so if he approaches me, I can. Sorry. On a call. I'm on a call, right. I do know I'm not on a call. And I can hear this guy saying that he was explaining that at one time, Heart, the two women in Heart were angels, and they fell from the heavens down to earth to bring the satanic music of Heart to the masses under a name that sounds angelic but is not angelic. And I was like, wow. He had this whole spiel, Chris. He probably went on for about three or four minutes. He had this whole spiel about. About how Heart were angels and now they're Satan and they're bringing. And they're infiltrating the masses. This is how God is going to destroy this world because of Heart and their rock and roll music with their shaky booties and their big tits and. Okay, let me tell you something. I was thinking to myself. If God is going to destroy the world in 2024, let's make the assumption there is God, then let's make the assumption that 2024 is the year that the world will be destroyed. Would he really pick Hart to be the deliver? I mean, you know, would Heart be the nemesis, really? Is Heart going to get to the masses like they are? Because last time I checked, Hart is not on every turn of my Instagram reel. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right?

[Brian Green]

It's Taylor fucking Swift. It's Ariana Grande. It's Olivia Rodrigo. It's, you know, it's Bad Bunny. It ain't not Heart, because the average age of a heart listener is 97. I mean, there. I don't think there's any fear that the Heart listeners are gonna stand up and cause destruction in this world.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's wild.

[Brian Green]

They've got knee problems. They can't even run fast.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I wonder if he, like, tailors that for different bands or if he just specifically was focused on Hard.

[Brian Green]

Man, did he really seem into hard. I just gotta say that. Like, he really seemed like he had this whole Heart thing nailed, Dog.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

With this.

[Brian Green]

With the Heart shirt on. And it was a 2024 Tour T shirt. Where did he get it? Did someone donate it to him? Did he buy it with church funds? The best part is the guy's got a tip jar sitting out there, too. I was like, whoa, who's gonna pay for this? Who's paying for this guy to talk? I am telling you. But here's the. Here's the best part about this scene that I captured just for five minutes. The best part about the scene is after three minutes, four minutes of rapping about Heart and how they had, you know, fallen angels and all this other stuff, some gentleman who may or may not have a home walked across the street and he's standing there and he's like, yeah, man, yeah. Satan be fucking with all of us. I was like, well, there you go. That sums up 20, 24 in a nutshell. There you go.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

Heart is the satanic message that all the. I guess sleepy Satan, like the Satan sleeper cell has been waiting to wake up is coming through Heart. And, and this guy agrees and he's even reaching. He reached one guy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's what I'm saying. He got to somebody.

[Brian Green]

Well, I mean my biggest question was, did you actually go to the con? I wanted to say did you want to go to the concert? But I was nervous I would get involved in a whole conversation and I have, you know, children to feed and stuff. I, I can't be standing in a corner in Charlotte with a guy with a wagon.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Astrid looks out the window from the room and sees you down.

[Brian Green]

Me and this guy are like hugging and handshaking. What's up? That much. Yeah, I agree with you. Heart. Heart. Heart is where it's going from. I just, I just don't know. I just don't know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Some those people do like to get out and shout things outside of events.

[Brian Green]

Here, here's the weird thing about Charlotte. There. There's this whole uptown district and I've been to Charlotte a number of times, but this is my first time back in probably a decade. It's about, probably been a decade since I actually was in town. Not just driving through or stopping to get gas or something. Uptown. It's a lovely part of Charlotte. It's the business district. It's lovely. And they have a lot of. They have. It's very green like Atlanta is and they have these green spaces. They have this one place called the green. That's what it's called. And it's like an open air park. It's not particularly big, but it's beautiful. And the kids were playing there, there, nice. And around this district there were, I'm going to say five or six. Right around this green area. Five or six different churches or preachers or whatever you call them standing around giving their sermons.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

Yes. And handing out their pamphlets. You, we see this, you see this everywhere you go, right? Someone's have you heard about Jesus? The Latter Day Saints, you know the Methodist church, the Baptist church. And there were at every one of these little stands, that's what I can call them, little stops, little areas where these people were preaching and handing out materials. There were people standing there listening to them. And admittedly it was a few, it was two or three. But There were people standing there listening to them. And I thought most of the cities you go to and you see these kind of people, you know, proselytizing out in public. There's usually no one there there. It's just them shouting into the void. But in Charlotte, they seem to have a captive audience.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I couldn't understand why. Maybe it's because, I don't know, we're in the Bible belts and people pay attention to that kind of stuff. Maybe it's because they had a message. Yeah, maybe it's because they had a message that people liked. I don't know. I wasn't particularly into it, but that's okay. And one of my kids goes, daddy, what are they talking about? And I go banking. That's what I said, that I go banking. It's adult stuff. You're not going to be interested, I promise you. Let's just keep on walking. Cuz Daddy doesn't have time for this. Let's keep on walking. All right. And we're back. Poor Heart. That's it. And then like out of like a morbid cur. Not morbid, but like a curiosity. The next after I saw that guy, we were eating breakfast, I googled YouTube, YouTube, searched heart, Charlotte 2024, just to see what the show was all about. And that, that lady, Annie, what's her name? Yeah, Annie. Whatever it is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think it's. Is it Nancy and.

[Brian Green]

Nancy and Annie, I think and. Yeah, yeah. And Anne or Little Boat Annie or something. I don't know. Who knows? I don't know enough about Heart. But I saw them. They, you know, somebody captured a video of them playing their famous song. Yeah, that one that everybody knows. And I'm telling you what, they could still sing and play guitar.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

And if you can fill a coliseum like that, you're making much more money than we are here on the commercial break.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So they're not in the shadows.

[Brian Green]

Big props and to your. And 70 year olds can pay for it. That's the thing. That's a perfect audience because they have a lot of expendable income. You know what I'm saying? Look at those eagles. They've been touring for. Oh yeah, 50 years since they turned 50. And every year it's sold out and everybody's going every.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

I mean, that's it. That's the way to do it. That's the way you and I are going to be doing it. Probably the almost our almost final concert tour. Like Aerosmith. Yeah, Aerosmith. That almost final concert tour. I actually think it might be time for Aerosmith to hang up the hang up.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I think so too.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I think Stephen needs to go back to his Percocet or whatever he's doing. All right, here's what you do. You go to our website, tcbpodcast.com all the information about the show, the audio, the video is right there at one location. You can also get a free TCB sticker, bumper sticker. All you have to do is hit the contact us button. The little drop down menu says I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address and we'll send it off to you. No muss no fuzz us. We're happy to do it. Happy to do it. Just write Ted Sarandos, Ted netflix.com Let them know that you want the commercial break to MC next year's Netflix is a joke tour. From behind a curtain while they're performing, while they're performing with a mute button. Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break and remember to dial us up 212-4333. TCB. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

But I'll tell you that I love you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

I'll say best to you and best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy. And I always say we do say and we must say goodbye. I gotta get some cocaine driving me crazy.