Episode Overview

Episode Title: He's Got That Good Good Wood
Podcast: The Commercial Break
Hosts: Bryan Green, Krissy Hoadley (plus Chris and Christina)
Date: August 21, 2024

This episode of The Commercial Break is classic improv-comedy chaos, mixing the hosts’ trademark irreverence and self-deprecation with a whirlwind of pop culture commentary, personal anecdotes, and off-the-cuff tangents. The main theme orbits around Bryan’s comically over-detailed doctor’s visit (including a “morning wood” conversation), but the conversation spirals through everything from contemporary space disasters and ancient monuments, to celebrity addiction tragedies and tort-happy Americans. True to the show’s description, the humor is twisted, goofy, and pleasingly unstructured, giving listeners the feeling of hanging out with hilarious lifelong friends.

Detailed Breakdown & Key Segments

1. Live Show Antics and Internal Banter

[00:50–05:44]

The hosts banter about upcoming live shows in Orlando and Dania Beach, joking about planning, low expectations, and ticket scams.
- “How low do we go? … We’re in the crawl space of my house!” – Bryan [02:59]
- Playful discussion of past landscapers (Juan, now Jose), and the loss of Juan to a $50 travel fee.
- “Listen, gas prices are high. … They’re not $0.05 anymore like they were in the Trump presidency.” – Bryan [01:48]
They clarify that the live show isn’t just a regular podcast taping.
- “Think of this as Broadway... Then the live show is the red-light district.” – Bryan [04:11]
- “We’re gonna be selling dildos and anal lube 3000.” – Chris [04:25]
Tickets are available at the official venues; don’t get scammed online.

2. Absurd News Discussed: Boeing’s Astronaut Fiasco

[06:01–18:39]

The group riffs on real news: Boeing's astronauts stuck in space due to persistent spacecraft issues.
- “Boeing couldn’t make a tin can to hold fucking Diet Sprite in, let alone a spacecraft.” – Bryan [06:14]
Tons of jokes about leaking, both mechanical and biological:
- “‘Leaking’ is not a good word. You don’t associate ‘leaking’ with something good, right?” – Bryan [08:09]
- "Leaking in any sense... you just don't want to leak." – Chris [08:30]
Baby shower gone wrong: Astrid texts Bryan mid-shower about what to do after a baby poops; ensuing debate about plumbing and the “fart trap” in showers (and what NOT to do with baby waste).
The Boeing narrative invites genuine concern and ridicule about space travel’s dangers, and the show pokes fun at NASA’s PR spin.
- “You are stuck in a fucking sardine can flying at the speed of seven sounds around Earth…” – Bryan [10:37]
Comparison to the Titanic sub disaster: Would the quick death be preferable to slowly awaiting rescue?
“They're gonna have to call that Elon... That's what they're gonna do!” – Bryan [11:51]
Fascination with underpublicized space YouTube channels that predicted the months-long astronaut delay.

3. Red Bull Space Balloon & Spinning Out of Control

[13:20–17:17]

The hosts recall the infamous Red Bull space jump, where an astronaut nearly passed out spinning at the edge of the atmosphere.
- Hilarious reenactment of Russian astronaut and Southern comms officer:
- “Gregory, you’re breaking up a little… Everything looks fine from down here. Go ahead and jump.” – Bryan as comms officer [14:44]
- “Out of control, Gregari! Oh, dear God, Gregari...” – Chrissy as comms officer [15:46]
The comedy continues as they debate why NASA doesn’t just “send a balloon up there” to rescue the astronauts.

4. Stonehenge, Ancient Tech, and Pyramid Conspiracies

[23:14–29:04]

New research: Stonehenge’s ‘altar stone’ may originate from Scotland, not Wales, implying it was dragged 500 miles pre-wheel.
- Satirical confusion about geology (“Call me and let me know what that means!” – Bryan [24:29])
Krissy riffs on the pop-culture version of Stonehenge (a la Spinal Tap).
Segue into pyramid construction conspiracies, Tesla’s “sonic inducers,” and potential ancient tech that’s been lost.
- “If we went away tomorrow, in 5,000 years, there would be nothing left…” – Bryan [28:18]
- The group remains open to aliens as the pyramid builders.
- “We are stardust, technically, right?” – Bryan [29:05]

5. Bryan’s Uncomfortably Honest Physical

[29:04–41:48]

Bryan details his vein issues during a blood draw, culminating in a “gusher” scene and a nurse with a sense of humor.
- “You may not be able to find a vein in your arm, but when you do, it’s a gusher!” – Nurse, recounted by Bryan [34:36]
He describes getting a new doctor; dislikes those who rush appointments; prefers thoroughness.
The centerpiece: Bryan’s testosterone (“T”) check and the surprisingly casual discussion of “morning wood.”
- “Tell me about your morning wood.” – Doctor, recounted by Bryan [36:41]
- “Is that the technical term?” – Bryan [37:02]
- “Morning wood sounds better.” — Doctor [37:11]
- “She’s like, and your woods are fully … rigid and hard and standing up straight?” [37:43]
- “Okay, can we drop the wood? Can we go back to ‘erection’?” – Bryan [37:50]
- “I think I got that good, good, you know, juju going... Good, good wood in the morning.” – Bryan [38:55]
- Doctor: “Almost everyone who has low T has those two symptoms. It’s very rare that someone has low T and strong morning wood.” [39:20]
Discussion of “random wood” versus morning wood, and the social hazards thereof.

6. Tort Lawsuits & ‘Ambulance Chasers’

[42:53–47:44]

They mock a live news ticker: a lawsuit against Disney, where a widower claims Disney auto-agreed to terms of service on his deceased wife’s behalf.
- “I don’t know that that’s a reason to sue… Some tort reform would be good." – Bryan [44:57]
Broader riffs on American lawsuit culture:
- "There are good reasons to sue, but any reason under the sun is not a good reason." – Bryan [45:12]
- Examples: Suing Taco Bell over cheese, Madonna over concert lateness.

7. Celebrity Drug Tragedy: Matthew Perry & Ketamine

[47:44–54:32]

Shift to a serious news story: Dr. and assistant charged for illegally providing Matthew Perry with enough ketamine for “general anesthesia.”
- “He had enough ketamine at his… in his blood… that general anesthesia would be the level…” – Bryan [48:19]
- “They texted: I wonder how much this moron will pay.” – Bryan [51:18]
Sobering reflection: Recreational use of drugs like ketamine is outright dangerous; the “veil is thin.”
- “Do what you’re gonna do... But just be aware, the drug game ain’t what it used to be.” – Bryan [51:44]
- “I won’t help you kill yourself. That’s just not gonna happen.” – Bryan [54:05]
Sidebar on wealthy celebrities and risks (Michael Jackson).

Memorable Quotes & Standout Moments

Bryan: “We’re in the crawl space of my house!” [02:59]
Chris (on live show): “We’re going to be selling dildos and anal lube 3000.” [04:25]
On space travel: “You are stuck in a fucking sardine can flying at the speed of seven sounds around Earth and at any moment a little space dust could just blow up the whole thing.” – Bryan [10:37]
On leaking: “You don’t walk down the street and go, I’m leaking.” – Bryan [08:18]
On ‘morning wood’: “Tell me about your morning wood.” – Doctor (as recounted by Bryan) [36:41]
On Stonehenge: “If you don’t know what Stonehenge is, turn off the show. Because then you’re even dumber than I am.” – Bryan [23:25]
On the nurse/blood draw: “You may not be able to find a vein in your arm, but when you do, it’s a gusher!” – Nurse, via Bryan [34:36]
On enabling addiction: “If you want to kill yourself, fine, but I won’t help you kill yourself.” – Bryan [54:05]

Notable Timestamps

00:50 – Live show planning & ticket scams
06:14 – Boeing astronauts stuck in space
08:06 – Leaking jokes & shower drain advice
13:20 – Red Bull space balloon, “Gregari” skit
23:14 – Stonehenge origins & ancient conspiracies
29:15 – Bryan’s physical and epic blood draw
36:41 – The infamous “morning wood” doctor exchange
42:53 – Disney lawsuit mockery & American tort culture
47:44 – Matthew Perry’s ketamine tragedy
54:05 – Sober closing thoughts on enabling and addiction

Summary & Listener Takeaways

This episode packs in a wild blend of gallows humor, juvenile banter, and topical absurdity. You'll learn more than you ever wanted to know about morning erections, discover the pitfalls of live show planning and American lawsuit culture, and hear the hosts riff on space disasters, ancient aliens, and celebrity tragedy. The blend of laughter and bizarre stories is a trademark of the show’s unique appeal.

If you listen for:

Relatable, unfiltered friendship comedy
Quick pivots from 7th grade humor to unexpectedly earnest takes
Irreverent takes on news and science with a pop culture twist
Classic improv games and comedic tangents

…this episode delivers in full. And yes, you’ll never hear “morning wood” the same way again.

Next Up:
Tickets for TCB live are on sale for September shows in Florida (Dania Beach and Orlando). Official links are in the show notes—don’t get scammed!
For more, follow @thecommercialbreak on IG, @tcbpodcast on TikTok, or text/call the show at 212-433-3822.

Episode Overview

Episode Title: He's Got That Good Good Wood
Podcast: The Commercial Break
Hosts: Bryan Green, Krissy Hoadley (plus Chris and Christina)
Date: August 21, 2024

Detailed Breakdown & Key Segments

1. Live Show Antics and Internal Banter

[00:50–05:44]

The hosts banter about upcoming live shows in Orlando and Dania Beach, joking about planning, low expectations, and ticket scams.
- “How low do we go? … We’re in the crawl space of my house!” – Bryan [02:59]
- Playful discussion of past landscapers (Juan, now Jose), and the loss of Juan to a $50 travel fee.
- “Listen, gas prices are high. … They’re not $0.05 anymore like they were in the Trump presidency.” – Bryan [01:48]
They clarify that the live show isn’t just a regular podcast taping.
- “Think of this as Broadway... Then the live show is the red-light district.” – Bryan [04:11]
- “We’re gonna be selling dildos and anal lube 3000.” – Chris [04:25]
Tickets are available at the official venues; don’t get scammed online.

2. Absurd News Discussed: Boeing’s Astronaut Fiasco

[06:01–18:39]

The group riffs on real news: Boeing's astronauts stuck in space due to persistent spacecraft issues.
- “Boeing couldn’t make a tin can to hold fucking Diet Sprite in, let alone a spacecraft.” – Bryan [06:14]
Tons of jokes about leaking, both mechanical and biological:
- “‘Leaking’ is not a good word. You don’t associate ‘leaking’ with something good, right?” – Bryan [08:09]
- "Leaking in any sense... you just don't want to leak." – Chris [08:30]
Baby shower gone wrong: Astrid texts Bryan mid-shower about what to do after a baby poops; ensuing debate about plumbing and the “fart trap” in showers (and what NOT to do with baby waste).
The Boeing narrative invites genuine concern and ridicule about space travel’s dangers, and the show pokes fun at NASA’s PR spin.
- “You are stuck in a fucking sardine can flying at the speed of seven sounds around Earth…” – Bryan [10:37]
Comparison to the Titanic sub disaster: Would the quick death be preferable to slowly awaiting rescue?
“They're gonna have to call that Elon... That's what they're gonna do!” – Bryan [11:51]
Fascination with underpublicized space YouTube channels that predicted the months-long astronaut delay.

3. Red Bull Space Balloon & Spinning Out of Control

[13:20–17:17]

The hosts recall the infamous Red Bull space jump, where an astronaut nearly passed out spinning at the edge of the atmosphere.
- Hilarious reenactment of Russian astronaut and Southern comms officer:
- “Gregory, you’re breaking up a little… Everything looks fine from down here. Go ahead and jump.” – Bryan as comms officer [14:44]
- “Out of control, Gregari! Oh, dear God, Gregari...” – Chrissy as comms officer [15:46]
The comedy continues as they debate why NASA doesn’t just “send a balloon up there” to rescue the astronauts.

4. Stonehenge, Ancient Tech, and Pyramid Conspiracies

[23:14–29:04]

New research: Stonehenge’s ‘altar stone’ may originate from Scotland, not Wales, implying it was dragged 500 miles pre-wheel.
- Satirical confusion about geology (“Call me and let me know what that means!” – Bryan [24:29])
Krissy riffs on the pop-culture version of Stonehenge (a la Spinal Tap).
Segue into pyramid construction conspiracies, Tesla’s “sonic inducers,” and potential ancient tech that’s been lost.
- “If we went away tomorrow, in 5,000 years, there would be nothing left…” – Bryan [28:18]
- The group remains open to aliens as the pyramid builders.
- “We are stardust, technically, right?” – Bryan [29:05]

5. Bryan’s Uncomfortably Honest Physical

[29:04–41:48]

Bryan details his vein issues during a blood draw, culminating in a “gusher” scene and a nurse with a sense of humor.
- “You may not be able to find a vein in your arm, but when you do, it’s a gusher!” – Nurse, recounted by Bryan [34:36]
He describes getting a new doctor; dislikes those who rush appointments; prefers thoroughness.
The centerpiece: Bryan’s testosterone (“T”) check and the surprisingly casual discussion of “morning wood.”
- “Tell me about your morning wood.” – Doctor, recounted by Bryan [36:41]
- “Is that the technical term?” – Bryan [37:02]
- “Morning wood sounds better.” — Doctor [37:11]
- “She’s like, and your woods are fully … rigid and hard and standing up straight?” [37:43]
- “Okay, can we drop the wood? Can we go back to ‘erection’?” – Bryan [37:50]
- “I think I got that good, good, you know, juju going... Good, good wood in the morning.” – Bryan [38:55]
- Doctor: “Almost everyone who has low T has those two symptoms. It’s very rare that someone has low T and strong morning wood.” [39:20]
Discussion of “random wood” versus morning wood, and the social hazards thereof.

6. Tort Lawsuits & ‘Ambulance Chasers’

[42:53–47:44]

They mock a live news ticker: a lawsuit against Disney, where a widower claims Disney auto-agreed to terms of service on his deceased wife’s behalf.
- “I don’t know that that’s a reason to sue… Some tort reform would be good." – Bryan [44:57]
Broader riffs on American lawsuit culture:
- "There are good reasons to sue, but any reason under the sun is not a good reason." – Bryan [45:12]
- Examples: Suing Taco Bell over cheese, Madonna over concert lateness.

7. Celebrity Drug Tragedy: Matthew Perry & Ketamine

[47:44–54:32]

Shift to a serious news story: Dr. and assistant charged for illegally providing Matthew Perry with enough ketamine for “general anesthesia.”
- “He had enough ketamine at his… in his blood… that general anesthesia would be the level…” – Bryan [48:19]
- “They texted: I wonder how much this moron will pay.” – Bryan [51:18]
Sobering reflection: Recreational use of drugs like ketamine is outright dangerous; the “veil is thin.”
- “Do what you’re gonna do... But just be aware, the drug game ain’t what it used to be.” – Bryan [51:44]
- “I won’t help you kill yourself. That’s just not gonna happen.” – Bryan [54:05]
Sidebar on wealthy celebrities and risks (Michael Jackson).

Memorable Quotes & Standout Moments

Bryan: “We’re in the crawl space of my house!” [02:59]
Chris (on live show): “We’re going to be selling dildos and anal lube 3000.” [04:25]
On space travel: “You are stuck in a fucking sardine can flying at the speed of seven sounds around Earth and at any moment a little space dust could just blow up the whole thing.” – Bryan [10:37]
On leaking: “You don’t walk down the street and go, I’m leaking.” – Bryan [08:18]
On ‘morning wood’: “Tell me about your morning wood.” – Doctor (as recounted by Bryan) [36:41]
On Stonehenge: “If you don’t know what Stonehenge is, turn off the show. Because then you’re even dumber than I am.” – Bryan [23:25]
On the nurse/blood draw: “You may not be able to find a vein in your arm, but when you do, it’s a gusher!” – Nurse, via Bryan [34:36]
On enabling addiction: “If you want to kill yourself, fine, but I won’t help you kill yourself.” – Bryan [54:05]

Notable Timestamps

00:50 – Live show planning & ticket scams
06:14 – Boeing astronauts stuck in space
08:06 – Leaking jokes & shower drain advice
13:20 – Red Bull space balloon, “Gregari” skit
23:14 – Stonehenge origins & ancient conspiracies
29:15 – Bryan’s physical and epic blood draw
36:41 – The infamous “morning wood” doctor exchange
42:53 – Disney lawsuit mockery & American tort culture
47:44 – Matthew Perry’s ketamine tragedy
54:05 – Sober closing thoughts on enabling and addiction

Summary & Listener Takeaways

If you listen for:

Relatable, unfiltered friendship comedy
Quick pivots from 7th grade humor to unexpectedly earnest takes
Irreverent takes on news and science with a pop culture twist
Classic improv games and comedic tangents

…this episode delivers in full. And yes, you’ll never hear “morning wood” the same way again.

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He's Got That Good Good Wood

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Summary

Episode Overview

Detailed Breakdown & Key Segments

1. Live Show Antics and Internal Banter

2. Absurd News Discussed: Boeing’s Astronaut Fiasco

3. Red Bull Space Balloon & Spinning Out of Control

4. Stonehenge, Ancient Tech, and Pyramid Conspiracies

5. Bryan’s Uncomfortably Honest Physical

6. Tort Lawsuits & ‘Ambulance Chasers’

7. Celebrity Drug Tragedy: Matthew Perry & Ketamine

Memorable Quotes & Standout Moments

Notable Timestamps

Summary & Listener Takeaways

Summary

Episode Overview

Detailed Breakdown & Key Segments

1. Live Show Antics and Internal Banter

2. Absurd News Discussed: Boeing’s Astronaut Fiasco

3. Red Bull Space Balloon & Spinning Out of Control

4. Stonehenge, Ancient Tech, and Pyramid Conspiracies

5. Bryan’s Uncomfortably Honest Physical

6. Tort Lawsuits & ‘Ambulance Chasers’

7. Celebrity Drug Tragedy: Matthew Perry & Ketamine

Memorable Quotes & Standout Moments

Notable Timestamps

Summary & Listener Takeaways