Hot, Hard Axe of The Thunder Brothers!

Summary

Summary of "Hot, Hard Axe of The Thunder Brothers!" Episode of The Commercial Break

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Commercial Break
• Host/Author: Bryan Green and Krissy (referred to as Chris) Hoadley
• Description: An improv-comedy, interview, and variety podcast blending quirky friendship dynamics with twisted humor. The show features discussions on pop culture, internet oddities, relationship drama, and dark comedy, often accompanied by celebrity guests and interactive listener segments.

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Main Content Overview

In the episode titled "Hot, Hard Axe of The Thunder Brothers!" released on March 21, 2025, hosts Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley dive into a comedic exploration of the fictional show "Mountain Monsters." Joined by their recurring guest, Darlene Stinkhand, the trio embarks on a humorous recounting of the show's most outrageous monster hunts, emphasizing their improvised chemistry and offbeat humor.

Detailed Breakdown

1. Introduction to the Episode

The episode opens with a brief mention of sponsorships, which the hosts expertly skip to focus on the main content. By [03:49], the conversation transitions seamlessly into discussing "Mountain Monsters."

2. The Five Scariest Hunts

The hosts present a compilation of the top five scariest hunts featured in "Mountain Monsters," each segment peppered with witty banter and comedic exaggeration.

a. The Tree Incident ([11:04] - [12:45])

• Scenario: Bryan and Darlene recount an encounter with aggressive tree company workers disrupting a school parking lot—an exaggerated mishap leading to chaos.
• Notable Quote:
  • Chris Hoadley ([02:07]): "The first thing on her list? Invest heavily in Meme Coin. She explains that Memecoin is a low risk, almost guaranteed return."

b. Encounter with the Lightning Man ([53:36] - [54:34])

• Scenario: The team describes an intense chase involving a supernatural entity dubbed the "Lightning Man," characterized by his swift and dangerous nature.
• Notable Quote:
  • Bryan Green ([53:46]): "The Lightning man is celibate. He fucked that tree down." ([34:55])

c. The Thunder Brothers Showdown ([54:34] - [65:10])

• Scenario: A humorous battle with the Thunder Brothers unfolds as the hosts attempt to assemble the mythical "Thunder Axe" to combat the Lightning Man.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Bryan Green ([58:10]): "We can't kill each other. That's what they want us to do." ([22:07])
  • Darlene Stinkhand ([60:11]): "They're fitting it together." ([59:56])

d. The Final Confrontation and Aftermath ([65:10] - [68:46])

• Scenario: The climactic confrontation results in comical outcomes, including exaggerated injuries and the eventual assembly of the Thunder Axe.
• Notable Quote:
  • Chris Hoadley ([67:03]): "They know. Cowboy Ken." ([41:17])

3. Comedic Commentary and Reflections

Throughout the episode, Bryan, Krissy, and Darlene interject hilarious observations and personal anecdotes, enhancing the comedic narrative. They mockingly discuss the implausibility of the "Mountain Monsters" hunts, blending absurdity with sharp wit.

• Notable Interactions:
  • Bryan Green ([68:46]): "It's hard for me to imagine that there is any human being out there that is watching this with any degree of seriousness, but it's possible that there is someone out there believing this stuff." ([68:46])

4. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on the enduring appeal of creating content that entertains, regardless of its perceived seriousness. They emphasize their commitment to continuing the comedic exploration of bizarre monster hunts, inviting listeners to engage through their website and social media platforms.

• Notable Quote:
  • Bryan Green ([69:02]): "They just turned literally to the right and two feet in front of them, they're a big ball of sticks and twigs." ([48:40])

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Chris Hoadley ([02:07]): "The first thing on her list? Invest heavily in Meme Coin. She explains that Memecoin is a low risk, almost guaranteed return."
• Bryan Green ([53:46]): "The Lightning man is celibate. He fucked that tree down." ([34:55])
• Bryan Green ([22:07]): "We can't kill each other. That's what they want us to do."
• Darlene Stinkhand ([60:11]): "They're fitting it together." ([59:56])
• Bryan Green ([68:46]): "It's hard for me to imagine that there is any human being out there that is watching this with any degree of seriousness, but it's possible that there is someone out there believing this stuff."

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Key Insights and Themes

• Satirical Take on Reality Shows: The episode parodies supernatural hunting shows, using over-the-top scenarios to generate humor.
• Chemistry Between Hosts: The seamless interactions between Bryan, Krissy, and Darlene highlight their longstanding friendship and comedic timing.
• Audience Engagement: By inviting listeners to participate through social media and the website, the hosts foster a sense of community and interactive entertainment.
• Absurdity and Exaggeration: The use of hyperbolic situations and characters like the Lightning Man and Thunder Brothers underscores the show's commitment to chaotic and unpolished charm.

Conclusion

"Hot, Hard Axe of The Thunder Brothers!" exemplifies The Commercial Break's unique blend of improv comedy and satirical commentary. Through exaggerated monster hunts and humorous reflections, Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley, along with guest Darlene Stinkhand, deliver an engaging and laughter-filled episode that captures the essence of their "chaotic, unpolished charm." Whether you're a regular listener or new to the podcast, this episode offers a delightful escape into their irreverent comedic world.

Transcript

[Brian Greene]

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[Chris Hoadley]

It's 15 after the hour here in the Rod Cunningham Diesel Depot studio. A check of traffic and weather right around the corner. But first, let's check on the markets.

[Brian Greene]

They're doing terribly, and crab applians are obviously concerned about the economy. WSHIT consumer reporter Darlene Stinkhand has a.

[Chris Hoadley]

Few pieces of advice for those getting.

[Brian Greene]

The jitters around the economy.

[Chris Hoadley]

The first thing on her list? Invest heavily in Meme Coin. She explains that Memecoin is a low risk, almost guaranteed return.

[Brian Greene]

Her second piece of advice? Pick up a second career. She explains that those signs on telephone.

[Chris Hoadley]

Poles where you can make five to $7,000 a week working from home are often true and most people just drive by them. She encourages listeners to go ahead and.

[Brian Greene]

Make that phone call and follow through. Some other advice from Darlene to join.

[Chris Hoadley]

Your friend's MLM company. She explained that any company that makes.

[Brian Greene]

You buy thousands of dollars worth of product you probably can't sell is a.

[Chris Hoadley]

Surefire bet to make millions and millions of dollars in extra income. We were lucky enough to catch up.

[Brian Greene]

With Darlene in the studio earlier, and.

[Chris Hoadley]

Here'S some other advice she had for the listeners. If you save your money, you can get stuff like a new living suit. It takes about a year to save up $3,000. I'm gonna get a new bedroom set. Yay. With lights on it. I hope I can be able to get it. Amen to that.

[Brian Greene]

And finally, Darlene expressed that most people miss an opportunity to become millionaires by simply not attending those weekend real estate seminars.

[Chris Hoadley]

She shared that two days worth of.

[Brian Greene]

Your time and thousands of dollars in coaching services you'll never use was an opportunity to build a solid foundation of.

[Chris Hoadley]

Real estate knowledge and become the next billionaire tycoon. Darlene will be back at the top of the hour to share some more wisdom. We'll be back after this commercial break. I'm gonna get a new bedroom set. Yay.

[Brian Greene]

On this episode of the commercial break. What? This sounds really complicated for a mythological dum dum creature. Like for a walking ape, really.

[Chris Hoadley]

The trap is set. The thunder axe is in security box. Now we have to back off and let the lightning man do his part.

[Brian Greene]

All right.

[Chris Hoadley]

As much as I hate to do this.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Fall into the trap.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Leave that thunder axe here. We have to back out. Yeah, we have to.

[Brian Greene]

Much as I hate to do this, we gotta let Thunderman stick his hot loins in there. And then when he does, he will jizz lightning and we will all become all powerful. All mythological creatures will bow to our will. We have the thunder axe. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Ah, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Greene. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Best to you, Brian, and best to.

[Brian Greene]

You out there in the podcast universe. And happy day after the spring equinox.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Ooh, the vernal.

[Brian Greene]

The vernal. The venereal equinox, as I like to call it. It's when my syphilis flares up every year around this large robot. I got a large robot penis. Oh, yes, the spring equinox. When the. Technically, when the sun rays are directly over the equator and then it moves to the. Then it moves to start shining on the northern hemisphere just a little bit more than it has before. That's why it's 31 degrees in Atlanta. Welcome to spring.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

I know. It's been like 75.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, God, let it go. I know. We don't talk about the. This is like a weather related show at this point. That's all we talk about, is how miserable we are about the weather. It's too hot, it's too cold, the pollen's out, the sun is out. I don't know, but one of my kids was very excited about the spring equinox. He was like, it's the first day of spring, dad. And I was like, yeah, I'm still wiping your ass. What's going on there? Okay, maybe this is the first day of not wiping your ass. How's that? Because the older you get, the more manly your shit gets, the more I get disgusted. The other day, I had to call Astrid. I was like, astrid, I need your help on this one. I cannot deal with the smell. It is a man smell. Yes. Meanwhile, all 13 children are still visiting me in the morning in my. In the tiny little, you know, cabinet that I had. Yeah, the water closet or whatever you call it. They're all come in, they file in, they talk to me, and I'm just like half asleep. I'm like, okay, guys, can I have a moment alone? Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. They don't have noses. I don't think. I don't think smelling starts until you're like, 20. I'm not sure what's going on there. It's awful. It's terrible. And I remember my father. I mean, we all remember our father's ass. Am I right or am I right? I don't. You don't?

[Darlene Stinkhand]

No.

[Brian Greene]

You don't remember your father's ass? I mean, not like you. You know what I'm saying? The smell of his ass, not his actual ass.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

No, the door was shut and I knew I didn't want to go in there.

[Brian Greene]

The door was shut, but that doesn't mean I wasn't able to smell my father's shit. I mean, for God's sakes, my mom was always sneaking around the house, I think, pooping when people weren't there. Yeah, she was of that ilk where a lady never let her smell be known.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Right there is that smell.

[Brian Greene]

Thy lady shall never let thy poop be. That shall keep her asshole clean. And tidy. But my dad. You know, you gotta talk to your dad sometimes. And sometimes when you had a father that was very busy, like mine, traveling a lot, you know, sometimes. Sometimes dad would call us when he had a water closet, too. His doors always closed, but it was in this larger bathroom. And sometimes in the morning, Brian, I'd be like, oh, no, no. Dun, dun, dun, dun. I can hear you from here, dad. It's good. I'm cool. Get in there. No, because that shit would burn the nose hairs right off you. I mean, my dad's a hardy guy from Chicago. He's not some, you know, diminutive little flower eater. That's not what he does. He doesn't eat roses for breakfast. He has, like, bacon, eggs, pot roast. I don't know what they eat in Chicago, you know, whatever they were eating. But he's a meat eater. And so. But the other day, my son, he can. One of my sons, he can wipe his own ass.

[Chris Hoadley]

That. That.

[Brian Greene]

He can do that. Yeah, but sometimes you like to go in there for the double check. You know what I'm saying? You gotta go in there for the double check. I don't think I learned how to properly wipe my ass while I was, like, 14 years old. And then maybe even not then. Like, it's a complicated procedure, and you gotta get it right. And it takes a long time to get to know your ass. I mean, I'm just speaking truthfully here. Sorry if I'm disturbing your breakfast. But then, you know, daddy, I'm done. You know, I'm like, okay, let me come. And I just walked in and walked right out. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, Astrid. He's like, what? And I'm like, nothing. Don't worry about it. You're all good. It's all human. It's all there. One of my kids came in the other day. I picked him up from school, and he was telling me about his day, and he says, during a movie. We were watching a movie today, and during the movie, I had to fart. And he goes, so I farted. It was really loud. And I go, oh. I was kind of laughing about it, you know, like, oh, that's a little embarrassing, but everybody farts. You can't hold it in. You're going to ruin your stomach if you hold it in. You know, just say, excuse me, you know, when you're done. And I go, did all the kids go, ew? And he goes, no, only two of my friends. And I go, well, why did they go, ew? And he goes, because they really don't like my farts. And I was like, well, who does the other part of the class? Is it the other part of the class that does? I'm not sure. I don't know how that works. It's been a long time since I've been at school.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Well, speaking of, though, I was wondering, when you said you went to go pick him up, have you encountered any blowback or anything from the, from the tail of you and the construction workers or the people?

[Brian Greene]

Oh, that was a different school. So there's. So we have so many kids that they all go to different schools. They're all in different grades and different schools have different grades and all this. No, actually, when I went to the school. Well, you know, and, and I know now that at all the places that I go, the cat's just out of the bag. And, and certainly at Starbucks, the cat is way out of the bag. Because for the first time in 10 years, nine years of going there, someone said something to me directly. They asked me directly if I was in fact that guy from the commercial break. And I wanted to crawl. I wanted to die inside of a hole. I was like, ah, this is the one place where no. One place. Yeah, I mean the one. I mean anywhere else in the world besides the places that I know people that you're not going to know about the commercial break. But the place that I go to. Eventually, curiosity kills the cat and they, they're trying to figure out what does that guy do. But no one has ever asked me directly, what do you do? So anyway, so everybody at this school where this tree incident happened, these tree guys. Incidents happened.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

The tree incident, it was an incident.

[Brian Greene]

It was an incident and it felt aggressive and scary and especially when you have kid and, you know, children in the back of the car. And these guys were just young and dumb and full of stupid energy. And again, we probably all could have handled it a little bit better, but in the moment I just wanted to go, like, I just wanted to get out of the. I wanted to get out of the energy because, you know, in this day and age, you never know how quickly that energy can turn in, into like violence. It's just people are so on edge. All of us. I'm not saying that that's everybody else and not me. Me too. Everybody's so on edge and we see so much crazy shit happening that at any given moment the things can just snap and you don't. And then you can't take it back. But anyway, so I go the principal of the school, you know, the way that the cars line up, she comes by and she clicks a button to say, okay, these kids need to be brought out so that they can be picked up or whatever. And we're friendly. And so she's. We're talking, and I. And I said, oh, the tree guys aren't here today. And she goes, oh, those tree guys, they were awful. And I go, oh, really? Did you see what happened to me? Cause I assume she did, because it was that everyone is yelling and screaming, and it's not very far away from where all the other parents and teachers were standing. And she goes, no, what happened? So I tell her the story, and she's like, oh, my gosh, those guys were awful. They. They wouldn't stop doing the trees while the keys were outside and the wood chips are going everywhere and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she's like. And I had to ask them multiple times, and they still didn't listen to me. I am filing a complaint for them. And now I'm going to file a complaint on this, too, because this is ridiculous. I'm going to talk to them.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

And I said, coordination on whoever did.

[Brian Greene]

That, like, straight out of a movie, I swear to God. This happens next, there's like two parking lots, one that you drive through, and then as you're driving to get to the front of the school, there's another side parking lot for a forest preserve, which is what I think they were cutting the trees down for the forest preserve. But it's this tiny little forest preserve. But there's a parking lot there, small parking lot. And so I'm sitting there waiting to go and talking to her, and out of the side of my eye, I see a big truck pull up to park right in. Like, the car is facing the side of my car now, my passenger side in that extra parking lot. And guess who pulls up. The tree company. The tree company with the tree guys. Now, only one of the guys of the two guys that was involved in the incident, and the less aggressive. I'd say the less aggressive one, they were both pretty fucking aggressive. But the less aggressive one is there, and it appears they're there with a supervisor, because they're walking around and the supervisor is, like, pointing out these things or whatever, you know, you can tell he's just kind of like, directing the charge. I don't think they noticed me. But I'll tell you what, it was crazy because as we were talking about it, they pulled up and I was like, oh, my God, here we Go again. But luckily, nothing. Nothing happened. And it was just like. The whole thing was just so stupid. Come on, guys. What are you doing? Throwing cones at cars with kids in it and, you know, yelling and screaming and not paying attention. Just. Come on. The whole world is fucking on fire right now. And it just. It really. You can really sense the stress out there when you're driving. Everyone's driving aggressively. When you're at a place, you're just looking for the person that's going to pop, and someone's inevitably ready to pop. People are yelling at each other. It's just all so much, like, rev down, chill out. I know the world's on fire and everything's broken, broken. And it's getting more broken by the day. I get that. But. But we're gonna. Some of us are gonna survive. We're gonna. I guess. I don't know. Some of us are gonna survive. It's gonna be okay. I don't know. I don't know how, I don't know when, I don't know where, but some normalcy will return. It always does. And we're just having a little bit of an upheaval right now, but we can't kill each other. That's what they want us to do. They want us to be at each other's throats, because then we're distracted and they can do. They. Then they can plunder. They can plunder while we're distracted fighting with each other over fucking cones in a parking lot. Honestly, it's so fucking ridiculous. So I go to Starbucks the other day, so. Let me finish the Starbucks story. So I go to Starbucks the other day, and I told you that I had suspected that one of the girls had figured it out. I put two and two together. Just some things that she said to me indicated to me that she, in fact, knew that I had the podcast, and she knew which podcast it was, but she didn't go directly at it. She didn't tell me that directly. And so I thought to myself, okay, well, she's gonna keep my secret here at least. And I know, and I. And I like this girl. Like, I know she. She doesn't seem like the talker in the group, so I think, okay, all right, well, my secret's safe with her. Like, we don't. And she's not gonna be asking me every day. She's probably definitely not listening to the show. At least I don't imagine she is. She. She's young and has a life, and she doesn't have time for all this. But then there's a new guy there, and the new guy the other day, he's like, I'm checking out, and he already knows me. He's already saying, hi, Brian and all that. He already knows my drink. He's only been there for, like, three weeks, but he's on. He's on the ball. Yeah, I like this kid. He's going to fit right in. So he's going to go far in this Starbucks. He's going to go far in Starbucks. Making my coffee before I even walk in the door. I like this kid. He's a winner. I can pick one that goes the distance. He's going to go the distance. So he says, yeah, man, what do you. So what do you do? You're like, you got. You know, you work from home. And I go, yeah, yeah, I work from home. And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think. I think I know what you do. And I was like, you do? And he goes, I think, what do you do?

[Darlene Stinkhand]

And I go, tell me what you think I do.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, well, that's what I said. I go, well, why don't you go first, and then I'll confirm or deny based on it. And he goes, well, there's a little rumor going around that you have a podcast, and it's called, like, the commercial break or something like that. And I go, oh, okay. And he goes, is that what you do? Is that true? And I go, listen, come here, you little fuck.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Lean in close.

[Brian Greene]

I don't want anyone knowing exactly what I do. It's a family thing. Okay, you got it. Don't tell anybody. Don't tell anybody. I actually says this to him. I go, hey, listen. I go, yes. Okay. The truth is, yes. It took me like 30 seconds to say yes. Cause I was like, I don't know what to do here. I really don't want this secret out. But he's already got my number. I can't say no. And then all he has to do is look up the fucking picture on the goddamn front of the podcast page. So I go, listen. Yes, but honestly, I kind of like coming to Starbucks where I think that nobody knows what I do. Not because I'm famous or anything like that, but because it's a little safe harbor from some of the stupid shit I might say on the fucking podcast. I don't want to have to answer, you know, I don't want to answer every question about every fucking thing that I say. I am one of these guys. This is why I do a podcast and not stand up Comedy, first of all, not funny. Second of all, could never just travel like that. I have too many kids to. My wife would never let that happen. But third of all, I don't like the instant reaction about what I'm saying. I'd much prefer just go out there and you guys have a reaction in your own personal private space and I'll have my own reaction here, you know what I'm saying? And so I don't like the idea of having to answer for everything that I say.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

On the show this morning, like where.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

People are following up, up with you on some of the things.

[Brian Greene]

So you said this about Ariana Grande, but that's actually not true. Okay, right. If I opened my mouth, it's probably not true. So let's, let's just get, let's get that point across. Yeah.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

You don't want fact checking going on.

[Brian Greene]

No, we tried that. It didn't work. That didn't work very well. We tried a fact checker. They checked too many facts. They were too aggressively checking my facts. I didn't care for that. So, yes, cat's out of the bag at the Starbucks. What are you gonna. And what are you gonna do? And it's spring equinox, so we're all just, you know, muddling through. I guess that's what happens. And then I read there are some things, believe it or not, that I agree with, with this current administration. And one of the things that at least was like tweeted about or twitted or twatted or truthed or whatever the fuck is going on, X, I don't know, is that let's get rid of this time clock changing thing. And I couldn't be more in agreement with that sentiment, however, that is until I learned that our good friend Donald Trump doesn't want us to have more sunlight. He wants us to have less sunlight. He thinks the clock should stay backwards and not forward.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Which is the original time.

[Brian Greene]

Which is the original time.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Yeah, but, but most people like it, right?

[Brian Greene]

Yes.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

More sunlight at night.

[Brian Greene]

Don't you want to be at the lake at 7:30, 8:00 at night with an extra hour of sunlight left? Or at the ocean or whatever it is you do, wherever it is you do. I spent time in Costa Rica close to the equator. In case you're checking a map, geographically, it's a little closer than I am right now. I spent time in Costa rica and it's 12 on, 12 off. No matter the time of year almost. You know, there's little changes, but it's much closer to, you know, even Stevens, if you know what I mean.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

I like that.

[Brian Greene]

12 on, 12 off. You think you like it, but the sun comes up at like 5:30 and 6 in the morning, and then it goes down at 5:30, 6 at night. I don't like that. I don't want the sun to go down at 5:30, 6 at night. Besides, putting my kids to bed. There is no downside, in my opinion, to having it be light out at 8:00 at night. It just. And I know that then it stays a little darker a little longer, and it's dangerous for the kids in the bus. I don't care about the kids with the bus. I want to have an ice cream in an outdoor mall when it's light outside.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Okay, I think most people agree with that, or at least the people I've.

[Brian Greene]

Talked to, sane people agree with that. But insane people want to give us less sunlight. They want to give us More sunlight at 3 in the morning when no one's fucking awake. And then everyone has to wake up earlier because the fucking chickens and all that bullshit. And then we don't get that sunlight at the end of the day. Can't you give us a fucking break?

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Yeah, again, I don't feel like it's a big deal too, because, you know, even though it's darker longer in the mornings, if it's warm outside. What that doesn't. Then now, if it's cold, it's freezing.

[Brian Greene]

If it's freezing cold, oh, and dark in the morning.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

But that's not the case.

[Brian Greene]

I get it. But listen, going to work in school is never gonna be less miserable. Do you know what I'm saying? It's not gonna be less miserable because the sun is out. That's not gonna happen. You might be a few degrees warmer on those rare circumstances where, you know, the sun comes up and warms it up enough for you to feel it. But let's admit it, it's not like the sun pops up and all of a sudden it's 72 degrees in the middle of January. It's not how it works, first of all. Second of all, you're never gonna like going to work or school. Never gonna happen. So it doesn't matter. Let's at least. This is what I'm trying to say to you all you people who might agree with the clocks backwards. If we're gonna have extra sunlight, let it be during the times when we're not supposed to be at work.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

We're done.

[Brian Greene]

That's right. Yes. When I was working 9 to 5, which was for about a year of my life. When I was working nine to five, there's nothing, nothing in the world that I loved more than to hit the whistle. You know, everybody's working for the weekend, the 5 o'clock whistle, hit it, quit it. And go find a patio and sit there for a couple of hours with the sun shining on my face and drinking myself into oblivion. Because that's what Americans do, because we're all fucking miserable. Okay, got it. So let's all get on the same page about this one. And I understand that Mr. Trump is easily persuadable in certain situations, and I think we should all twat at him or X to him. I don't even know what we do anymore. Truth him, Truthy social or whatever it is. Is that even still a thing? Truth social, yeah. Oh, okay.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

That's what he puts all his messages out on.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, that's what he puts all, you know, that's where he takes all the money under the, under the, under the table. Let us all agree and hit him up and let him know that the way we actually want it is things to go forward, not backward. Because it just doesn't make any sense. It makes no logical sense why you would want less sunlight at the end of the day when you're not working or at school. Let the kids have an extra hour of sunlight to play around. Let me have an extra hour of sunlight, because that's just what I like. I don't even have working. We don't even have working hours here. But if we did, we'd want extra sunlight. And then the regular, you know, everybody else who works 9 to 5 or whatever it is, let them have an extra hour of sunlight too. And let us not forget about the people who work the overnight shifts. You know, if we're worried about the kids going to school without sunshine, standing out in the bus waiting for the bus without sunshine. What about the dancers, the strippers that have to go to work at 8:00 at night? Are we not concerned about their safety also?

[Darlene Stinkhand]

That's right.

[Brian Greene]

We don't want them going to work in the dark.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

See, Brian's always thinking on a bus as well.

[Brian Greene]

That's right. The short order cooks at Waffle House, the police officers, everyone who works that overnight shift starts at 8:00 at night. And we don't want them to be unsafe either. So, you know, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. That's right. We learned about that in here. At the school of hard knocks. In the commercial break I have. It's Friday. I'm feeling a little squirrely. So I've decided to do something fantastic for the audience here. And this may be a two parter we'll have to see. I pulled down the five scariest mountain monsters chases in mountain monster history. It's a compilation video. I wish I could tell you to go watch it on YouTube, but it's 95% likely it's going to get banned by Travel Channel or who, Discovery. H plus minus Max or whoever owns it. But we'll do our best. We'll do our best to get it up there. So why don't we do this? I know it's a little bit of a short segment. Let's take a break and when we get back, we're gonna get right into it with some of our, some of our favorite guys.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Huck, Buck, Chuck, everybody.

[Brian Greene]

Huckleberry number four or five or whatever. They're on. Let's, let's take a break. When we get back, we'll do some mountain monsters for you. What do you think?

[Darlene Stinkhand]

I like it.

[Brian Greene]

We'll be back. Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the Commercial Break. This episode is sponsored in part by chime checking. A few years ago, I was doing my end of the year book and I got white hot when I realized that I had spent hundreds of dollars in banking and overdraft fees. On one of our checking accounts, an unexpected monthly bill comes through a check that's been sitting out there for a while and wha bam. 35, 45, sometimes even $50. No thank you. That stuff adds up over time, but when you open a Chime Checking account, you can be one step closer to a better financial future because with no maintenance fees, fee free overdraft of up to $200, or you can get paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Chime Checking will have you covered and you can make progress on those financial goals that sometimes are hard to achieve. A Chime Checking account allows you fee free overdraft. With SpotMe, you can overdraft up to $200 without any fees. With Spot Me, when you set up a qualifying direct deposit, are you feeling a little stressed a couple days before your paycheck comes? Well, get my pay. When you set up a qualifying direct deposit, you can make your payday any day. Make progress toward a better financial future with Chime. Open your account in two [e-mail] commercial that's chime.com commercial Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp NA or Stride Bank NA members FEIC Spot Me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits do apply. Fees apply at out of network ATMs, MyPay eligibility requirements do apply. Credit limits range from $20 to $500. $2 fee applies to get funds instantly. Chime checking account required. Go to chime.com disclosures for more details. And thanks to Chime Checking for being a sponsor of the commercial break, I'm Jordan Robinson, host of the new podcast the Women's Hoop Show. Each episode I'll be joined by a rotating group of women's basketball experts to talk wnba, college hoops, the new unrivaled league, and the shifting landscape of the sport.

[Chris Hoadley]

The game is growing and so are we.

[Brian Greene]

Listen to and follow the Women's Hoop.

[Chris Hoadley]

Show and Odyssey Podcast available now for.

[Brian Greene]

Free on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. As a lifelong entrepreneur and a current small business owner of a mediocre comedy podcast, I do earnestly get excited when I get to show, share a tool or a resource that I use to better my business. And along with being a longtime entrepreneur, I am a longtime customer of Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're scaling a larger business or you're just starting out. We are currently helping one of our family members build a website on Squarespace. And like everybody else in the world, they want to use video to highlight their products and services. Squarespace makes that easy by allowing you to upload and organize your videos, create stunning libraries, and even monetize that content by adding a paywall. And now Squarespace even offers business loans. You can get fast easy finance through Squarespace Capital. And if you're approved, it'll be in your bank account in three to four business days so that you can grow quickly. Of course, all loans are subject to credit approval, but just the knowledge that Squarespace is now trying to help business owners and entrepreneurs in many facets of their business journey puts another check mark on my personal endorsement. So go ahead, check all this out for [e-mail] commercial and you'll get a free trial. And then when you're ready to launch, you can use the offer code commercial and you'll save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com commercial. Then use that offer code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And thank you to Squarespace, Squarespace for continuing to support entrepreneurs like myself and the commercial break. Okay, man. Has it been a long time since we've done a Mountain Monsters?

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Yes, it has.

[Brian Greene]

I don't know. Months at least. Probably. We probably haven't done any in 2020. Maybe we did one for the 12 days of TCB.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

We had to.

[Brian Greene]

I think so. And we'll probably do one for the 12 hours of TCB. Stay tuned. Okay. All right, so I'm just gonna drop little hints here and there, but I think this one is coming together. I think this one we're definitely doing well. We have to now because we have people that are obligated to. We're obligated to have other obligations to have people do it. But anyway, 12 hours of TCB. Think. Chew on that one. And we'll give you more details in April. But Mountain Monsters, some of our favorite. This is one of my favorite comedy shows of all time, if I'm being real honest. The Mountain Monsters are a hilarious group of redneckersons that are out there chasing all kinds of monsters, from the Whisper Wolves to the Paw Paw Poppers. Yes. Skinny John Popper. They're chasing everybody, chasing these mythological creatures through West Kentucky, it seems like. And they made a compilation of the top five mountain monster chases or hunts, quote, unquote.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Hunt hunts. I love it because it started Off. I mean, what was the premise that it originally started off as, like, chasing Bigfoot?

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, we've been here for four hours, haven't recorded a fucking thing. My mouth's not working anymore. I mean, honestly, we've been here diddling around. Some days it all comes together, and some days it doesn't. It's that sun over the equator. It's making my brain fry. It's the thought of having less sunlight that's driving me crazy. It really is.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Okay, so Bigfoot, it started off with that and then just. It's now anything.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, it's now anything and everything and all kinds of made up shit and, you know, killing bastards and everything. But Huck, Chuck fucking Ron are back at it. The guy who yells too much.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Bill.

[Brian Greene]

Bill.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, it's Bill. Yeah, it's Billy. Bill. Yeah, Bill. What did you do to that one?

[Chris Hoadley]

Go.

[Brian Greene]

God damn. All right, cool. I guess he literally does yell everything. Oh, he does. Their. Their level of excitement on the cutaways gets very intense. Okay, here we are. Let's calm down the top five and we'll get started. Now as soon as I press play.

[Chris Hoadley]

Number five another 50 yards and go up about. What is that?

[Brian Greene]

Look, look, look, look, look, look, look. It's a tree coming down. Hey, guys, I took that chainsaw and cut that tree down for you like you told me to. I. The other one down. What we're seeing right now is a drone shot of a tree falling. And these guys are getting very excited because. Does a tree make a noise when it falls in the forest? I guess we're about to find out.

[Chris Hoadley]

Son of a bitch.

[Brian Greene]

Son of a. That tree done fail that tree down.

[Chris Hoadley]

Holy hell. Cowboys team zooms in on that drone cowboy. Kidding.

[Brian Greene]

There he is.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Wild Bill.

[Brian Greene]

That's right. Hey, we're done to smoke some meth and then everyone looking at a tree falling down, and there's a TV and a drone and all kind of shit. And my teeth are falling out. Look at those teeth. That is a picture of dental health. I'm gonna. I'm purposefully pressing pause here so I can show my children later.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Right? This is what happens when you do this.

[Brian Greene]

That's right. They're so sc. Scared. They're so scared about that.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

I did the same thing with my nephews.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, you gotta do it. You gotta tell them all the bad things that'll happen. And you know what? They're mostly true, so at least you're not lying to them.

[Chris Hoadley]

Big ass tree comes crashing to the ground. Hell yes. You heard that high pitched squall. And you heard that tree knock. You know exactly what took that tree down. That was a Bigfoot.

[Brian Greene]

You know exactly what that was. It was me. I was doing it for fun.

[Chris Hoadley]

That Bigfoot that so just ripped that big ass tree down.

[Brian Greene]

I think he just said bigfoot is celibate. And he fucked that tree down.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

It did sound like he said celibate.

[Brian Greene]

He said Bigfoot is celibate. He fucked that tree down.

[Chris Hoadley]

Cowboy Ken. He caught it right there on his drone. Ken, get that drone back. We need to get over there.

[Brian Greene]

I want a cool name like Cowboy Ken. You call me Billabong Brian or something.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

I sure will.

[Brian Greene]

Can you call me Backstreet Brian? Yeah, that's my new nickname. Backstreet Brian. Again, Huckleberry looks like a totally different human being. I swear to God, they've had multiple huckleberries. And why are they all wearing winter hats?

[Darlene Stinkhand]

I don't know.

[Brian Greene]

It doesn't seem very cold outside.

[Chris Hoadley]

We need to get over to where that tree. Just come down and get over there. Now look here.

[Brian Greene]

Why is he holding the drone like that? It's like he's waiting for it to lift him off the ground.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Well, he's gonna be waiting on a long time.

[Brian Greene]

You know, whenever there's impending doom and danger and claws and teeth and bloody marks and lots of things on fire and blood splashing out of these guys will run right into it. They're the bravest guys I know.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

They really are.

[Chris Hoadley]

Look here, look here. Look. What do you got? What do you got, Buck? Damn.

[Brian Greene]

Look at this, guys.

[Chris Hoadley]

Get the hell up here.

[Brian Greene]

Damn. Guys. Look at this. Look at this mean killing machine over here. Get over here. Here they come. I guarantee that was pulled down with a thing. Yes, you can see the trail right behind it clearly. There's been like a four wheeler behind it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Gone.

[Brian Greene]

Gone.

[Chris Hoadley]

Son of a bitch.

[Brian Greene]

I've never seen so many quick shots of a fallen tree. Trying to make it look scary.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

I know. Well, and they did it where it's like the, you know, tails flies. Flash side. Yeah, the flash.

[Chris Hoadley]

Look at this. Look at this. My gosh, look at this.

[Brian Greene]

Look at this. Look at this, look at this. Look at this. Good night, John boy. Good night, Mary.

[Chris Hoadley]

I spot that tree right up ahead. I hurry up and get up there and man, this thing has tore all to shreds. Look at that. Oh, man, you can see.

[Brian Greene]

Where would he shred a tree, Chrissy? Why? Why would they make a show like this? I fail to know the reasoning behind any of it, but it's highly entertaining.

[Chris Hoadley]

It is.

[Brian Greene]

I don't know. Look at this. We're all entertained by a falling tree.

[Chris Hoadley]

And ripped to pieces. That's that damn tree. A bigfoot ripped. I down think this.

[Brian Greene]

That's that damn treated big foot ripped down. We know, Bill. We see it. Also, thanks for pointing out the obvious.

[Chris Hoadley]

Squatch is gonna get nicknamed Paul Bunyan. Look at the size of this. Yeah, it's a big old ass. About probably 50, 60 years old. 70 somewhere around there. Probably.

[Brian Greene]

50, 60, 70.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Be fair. It looks dead.

[Brian Greene]

80, 90. Yeah, it does look pretty sickly. I bet it didn't take a lot of force to just pull it down.

[Chris Hoadley]

Pissed off bigfoot, guys. Yes, it is. Oh, you bet it is. You think he got mad because we had that drone in there?

[Brian Greene]

You think he got mad cause he had that drone? You think he got mad because I had an erection? Do you think because he had a drone in there? Yeah. Bigfoot was upset.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's a good possibility. That's a good. Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

You think he was upset I hadn't washed my jeans and in two years.

[Chris Hoadley]

You think he's pissed about something? Guys, I got a big question for you. What's that?

[Brian Greene]

Which one of you dealt it? Because I just. Who farted? No, that's just my beard.

[Chris Hoadley]

Bigfoot did this. Where's he at? I hadn't thought about that.

[Brian Greene]

Well, golly. Well, palm my dick and call me Rosie. You bring up a good point.

[Chris Hoadley]

My guess is not real far.

[Brian Greene]

Whispers are scary.

[Chris Hoadley]

I tell you what I think we need to do. Guys, it's starting to get dark. We need to go back, get our lights, get our guns, get the thermal, and get back out here. That's right.

[Brian Greene]

We need to do this in the dark. Here's what we need to do. Let's hit old country buffet. I'm gonna take a hot deuce.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Load up a Mountain Dew.

[Brian Greene]

You wash your beard because it smells like. We'll get Billy to get us some Mountain Dews. Already done, boys. We'll come back when it's pitch black. It'll be better for seeing stuff, you know? Of course.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. You want to grab that drone and see if we can't get it airborne? See if we can't get some action. Will do. All right. Holy. Right up in there. Whoa. Right up in there.

[Brian Greene]

They're all pointing. They're all up in there.

[Chris Hoadley]

Trina. Oh, yes, it was.

[Brian Greene]

Guys.

[Chris Hoadley]

The huntsman on.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Kill those lights and go to IR.

[Brian Greene]

Kill those lights and go to ir.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

What's ir?

[Brian Greene]

I don't know, but it sounds like we're, we're, we're watching NASA like a SpaceX launch. Now kill the lights, go to AR. Capcom, go kill the lights and go to AR. Roger, Cap.

[Chris Hoadley]

All right, that sounded like it was just right up the hill.

[Brian Greene]

So wait, let me get this straight. They kill the lights on the camera, but every single one of them is illuminated? Is illuminated with a headlamp. Okay, gotcha.

[Chris Hoadley]

Hell yeah. That's not far. I know Ken didn't expect to be out here doing tree knocks and actually get a response.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Oh, tree knock.

[Brian Greene]

What is a tree knock? Well, you remember when I told you about the wacking tree, the wagon tree? You ever seen a porn movie where the male in the movie smacks his erect penis on a vagina of a young, lovely woman? Well, that's called a tree knock. And what we do here is we run around whacking our dicks against trees, hoping that Bigfoot does the same in response. It's his calling card.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right up in there. That was a damn tree knock. Hell yes, it was. Welcome, Cowboy Ken. You're a names member. All right, here's the plan. Welcome, Cowboy Ken.

[Brian Greene]

You're officially a names member. You're the one we're gonna feed the Bigfoot.

[Chris Hoadley]

Willie, Bill, Cowboy Ken. Willie, Bill, Other Bill.

[Brian Greene]

Other.

[Chris Hoadley]

Billy, Huck. Huck. Huck.

[Brian Greene]

Number three and Cowboy Ken. You go first. I'll be back here. It's snack time. I'm contractually obligated to have three snacks a half hour.

[Chris Hoadley]

All right, you three start up the Holler about 150 yards. Start working on the side of that hill. Jeff, Huck. We're going to go up this way and we're going to spread out and see if we can't get our eyes on this. Hey, guys. Hey, guys.

[Brian Greene]

I don't walk so good. Anybody got a four by?

[Chris Hoadley]

Check this out.

[Brian Greene]

It's a tree.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Yes.

[Chris Hoadley]

Look at this.

[Brian Greene]

Wow.

[Chris Hoadley]

My gosh. Look at this thing. Man, that's creepy looking. Man, that's a tree.

[Brian Greene]

I know. It's just a tree. It's an oak tree. Oh, my God. Geez. We're really desperate for. For really desperate for some kind of attention here, huh?

[Chris Hoadley]

We're walking along this trail, all of a sudden we look up and here's this big old honey locust, all gnarled together, twisted together. That old honey locust is twisted.

[Brian Greene]

It's a honey locust. Oh, interesting. You learn something new every day on Mountain Monsters.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

This is a teaching show.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, it is. Looking up at this tree. This don't give me any good feelings. Sure look. Looks like it should be bigfoot country.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

What constitutes looking like it should be bigfoot country?

[Brian Greene]

This looks like a tree. Yoni having her moon cycle right to.

[Chris Hoadley]

The center of your soul. Telling you guys, that's a devil tree.

[Brian Greene]

I'm telling you guys, I saw this on Instagram. It's called the devil tree. And we're supposed to sacrifice to it by, I don't know, doing a little dancing and two stretches and a downward dog. We better get on our paws, boys.

[Chris Hoadley]

That is creepy looking. Dang it. Hey. Okay. Hey. Step back.

[Brian Greene]

Hey, get the fuck out of the way.

[Chris Hoadley]

Hey, guys, here's a side by side trail. Oh, hell yes. Oh, yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, hell yes. You hadn't noticed that you were walking on a side by side trail before?

[Darlene Stinkhand]

No.

[Brian Greene]

It's just come upon you that there's a side by side trail.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, that nest in that video was right along with side by side trail nest.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Yeah, guys, Bigfoot in a nest.

[Brian Greene]

We're in the money, guys. Got a bigfoot nest.

[Chris Hoadley]

ARR. I make nests for my bigfoot eggs. Just making my bigfoot nest. It's big fat people. Quick, knock the tree. Take dick whack across tree. Make him scared. In that video that Jeff has of that nest, you could clearly see a side beside trail right nearby that nest. It may not be okay.

[Brian Greene]

We've all been using cell phones for about 20 years now. And I guess whatever raccoon, Jim or whatever his name is, has the inability to hold a phone straight so he can get an actual picture of something. Bigfoot nest. It just looks like a bunch of weeds too far.

[Chris Hoadley]

What? Let's start beating this trail. You ready? Yeah. Ye. Just keep walking up this way, boys. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Brian Greene]

Listen, I got my gun out. Pew, pew, pew.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Trying to go through the forest.

[Brian Greene]

I know. They're just trying to walk through a forest. It's not very foresty. There's no trees, but okay, I get it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Can you hear that? Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

He's got a nine millimeter in his hand. He's. He's like pointing at things with it.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

I know.

[Brian Greene]

I think that's like the rule number one of gun safety is you don't use your gun as a pointer.

[Chris Hoadley]

Sounds like something's moaning or crying or something. Yeah, over there. Hear that cowboy? Yeah, he's coming right there for right over there.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Cowboy's like, I was just supposed to do the drone shots.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

How am I out here now?

[Brian Greene]

He's like, listen, somebody called me and said you got a Dundee done got a drone. And they said you want to be on a TV show. I didn't bargain for all this. Bigfoot, you go first.

[Chris Hoadley]

Go easy, Bill.

[Brian Greene]

Go easy, Bill. Go easy. Has Bill ever gone easy on anything?

[Darlene Stinkhand]

No, he hasn't, Brian.

[Brian Greene]

No, I can't do that.

[Chris Hoadley]

Guys, there's really not that many side by side trails that we've found here in the Tiger Valley.

[Brian Greene]

No, no. Meanwhile, these guys are having a stroll. You know, I really haven't wondered too many side by side trails down here on Tiger Valley. You know, in 1947, Tiger Valley got his name because they found an actual tiger. No, I didn't know that, Buck. Meanwhile, these other three are pointing guns at each other.

[Chris Hoadley]

Keep the thermal moving, J. All right.

[Brian Greene]

I got her, buddy.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Get the thermals.

[Brian Greene]

And again, there is nothing smarter in my opinion when it comes to safety and security than sending one team one way and one team the other way. To circle back around when everybody's got guns. That's right. Take out the thermals. It's 42 degrees max, you time.

[Chris Hoadley]

Take your time. Hey, look here, look here, look here. What do you got?

[Brian Greene]

Wow, it's a stick. I found a stick.

[Chris Hoadley]

Pine limbs.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Pine limbs.

[Brian Greene]

Pine limbs.

[Chris Hoadley]

Hmm.

[Brian Greene]

Something seems awful suspicious in Tiger Valley on this side by side trail. Pine limbs. I wonder where they coming from. Probably the pine tree. Buck.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

They zoom in on the pine tree.

[Chris Hoadley]

I know that's fresh. We've gotta be getting close to that nest. The hole outside there nest was covered in pine ls. Yeah, it was.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, he was, huh?

[Darlene Stinkhand]

He has a specific tree he likes to build the nest with.

[Brian Greene]

Pine leaves and huckle huckle fin. And what was that? Huckle honey suckle or whatever it was. Huckle honey suckle. That's one creepy honey huckle suckle.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. The whole nest made out of pine limbs. Look around. Do you see any pine trees? I ain't seeing one. Right here.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Importing them in special.

[Chris Hoadley]

Hello, it's me, Bigfoot. Hello. Yes, me Bigfoot. Need some more honeysuckle puckle and pine leaves. Yes. Making big nests. I am. Don't tell anybody. I'm a prime member. Do I get that overnight? Yes. Okay. All right. Thank you.

[Brian Greene]

Let me ask a question. If they're in search of this supposed Bigfoot nest, why didn't the guy who found the Bigfoot nest just tell him where it is? Why didn't they just let him know? Why are they running around like this?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, fake stuff.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Come on, Bongo grind.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, come on, Captain Kim or whatever your Name is Cowboy. Captain Kim.

[Chris Hoadley]

Guys, look at this.

[Brian Greene]

Dang. We didn't even notice that was right next to us the entire time.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Greene]

It's a ball of twine. What you guys can't see is that they're just. You're not missing anything. Like, visually, you're not missing anything. They're just walking around the woods picking up sticks and making, you know, illogical conclusions about it. But they just turned literally to the right and two feet in front of them, them is this big ball of sticks and twigs and pine and honeysuckle puckle and all this.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

They couldn't see that during the day.

[Brian Greene]

No, they could.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

They had to wait.

[Brian Greene]

Do that at night. Of course. Chrissy, it makes more sense when you can use the thermals. Number one. Number two, you turn on the ir. Number two. I'm pretty sure you would have seen that regardless of what day or time of night it is. The thing is huge.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Good. Good crafting on behalf of the staff there, by the. The way.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Design.

[Chris Hoadley]

There it is.

[Brian Greene]

Wow. They have a lot of shots of it, you know what I'm saying? They seem like they've taken a lot of B roll of this particular thing. Oh, oh, and there's lights.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Oh, there was a little door.

[Brian Greene]

There's a little door. That's right. Big Bigfoot. While he may not, you know, he might be the kind creature that tears down trees and tree limbs and all that, he has excellent landscape and hardscape taste. He's got great lighting outside. I want that kind of lighting outside in our landscape. Actually, Aster won't let me pay for it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Never seen anything like his.

[Brian Greene]

I have also never seen tree lighting in the middle of the forest. But, hey, what am I? Who am I? They have lights all around it.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

They do.

[Brian Greene]

They're not even pretending to hide them. They're just light lights. Like, they have spooky atmospheric. Clearly set up professional lighting, casting a. Looks like a ride at Disney World.

[Chris Hoadley]

At Disney. Massive Bigfoot best.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Oh, well, that was it.

[Brian Greene]

Well, that was it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

They're not going to show you the end. Like, all these videos they. That. And. And obviously I don't have the rights to watch the. I don't have any of the rights to do any. Any of this. I'm just. I'm. This is under fair use. I'm making commentary on it. But on YouTube, they don't show the conclusion of any of these. Not most of them. What they really show is like the teaser and then they want you to go watch the episode. But this is the five best hunts or the scariest hunts. So we're going to do number four in the next segment. I'm going to take a short break. We'll do number four in the next segment. And then if we need to, I guess we can just roll into.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

We're going to have to.

[Brian Greene]

Why not? The guys and the kids love it I out there. It's the only thing that they love, apparently, is the bigfoot. But that's okay. I'll give you what you want. All right, let's take a break. We'll be back. Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break, text or call us. 212-4333, tcb. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcb podcast for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercialbreak and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

What is Dax, are you tracking all.

[Brian Greene]

Our cars on Carvana Value Tracker on all our devices? Yes, Kristen.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Yes, I am.

[Brian Greene]

Well, I've been looking for my phone for. In Dax's domain. Domain we see all. So we always know what our cars are worth. All of them?

[Chris Hoadley]

All of them. Value surge trucks up 3.9%.

[Brian Greene]

That's a great offer. I know.

[Chris Hoadley]

Sell. Sell.

[Brian Greene]

Track your car's value with Carvana Value Tracker today. If you have health insurance, you might be able to see a personal dietitian for $0 out of pocket. Nourish connects you with a dietitian that fits your needs, covered by urine insurance. Nourish accepts hundreds of insurance plans and 94% of patients pay $0 out of pocket. Meet with your dietitian online and message them anytime through the Nourish app. With hundreds of five star reviews from real patients, you know you're in good hands. Find your [e-mail] that's usenourish.com all right. We're back with the boys from Mountain Monsters. We're checking out their five scariest hunts for various different monsters. We just saw them come across a bigfoot nest that was well lit and actually looks kind of cozy.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

It did. Yeah. It looked like something you'd find, like in the hobbit land or something.

[Brian Greene]

Fyre fest or something, you know, like a glamping. Like a glamping location. Do you know what I'm saying? All right, let's get back to it with number four. Here we go.

[Chris Hoadley]

There. Look there. Look.

[Brian Greene]

Look right there.

[Chris Hoadley]

There's a lightning bolt. We're in Blair County, Pennsylvania, and we're going after the Lightning Man. The Lightning Man.

[Brian Greene]

The Lightning Man. The Lightning man, who looks very lightning.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Much like what you would think. A Bigfoot.

[Brian Greene]

Bigfoot, that's right. Just a little way more fangier. Lots more fangs.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's a Bigfoot. He strikes out of the darkness and then just vanishes. That means he's damn quick. He's agile. He'll be out of the dark, on top of you and going. Before you know, you got your guts ripped out.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Damn.

[Brian Greene]

Well, that was descriptive.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

The Lightning Man.

[Brian Greene]

Well, that. That explains a lot. That expl. A lot. Explains a lot of things that happened to me in the woods as a kid. It was the Lightning Man.

[Chris Hoadley]

Look at the steam coming out right there.

[Brian Greene]

That's right. It's a hot, steamy pile of. Oh, earthquake. Here we go.

[Chris Hoadley]

The hell was that? That's Thunder. Thunder Brothers.

[Brian Greene]

We got to get the Thunder Brothers. The Thunder Brothers. That's Thunder Brothers. It sounds like a gay porn duo. This Tuesday, the Thunder Brothers bring their variety review and striptease to Back Street Atlanta.

[Chris Hoadley]

Need to get it cooled off. How are we going to cool it off? Hold that. We need to get out of that cat piss on it, and we need that pipe, so that's taking all my.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, he pissed on it. He pissed on it. He's pissing on it. Some reason the Thunder Brothers left a pipe or the Lightning man or whatever left a pipe that was too hot to touch, and they need it. For what reason? I don't know. It's like hieroglyphs in ancient Egypt. They need to get out of the tomb and quickly. It's like a real Harrison Ford. So he's pissing on it. Oh, my God. God. Come on, guys. You're bringing this down. I thought this was a family show.

[Chris Hoadley]

Pissed on a damn thing and cooled it off. Take that. I'm doing here. They know.

[Brian Greene]

Here, you grab it with your bare hands. Oh, lovely.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's nasty. Let's go. Get ahead of me. Get ahead of me. That was right up there, bud.

[Brian Greene]

I'm surprised with my prostate I was able to get anything out, but it dribbled out.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Why did they need the pot?

[Brian Greene]

I don't know. Why did he need to piss on it? Why did the other guy pick it up with his hand? Is piss really gonna cool it off that much back there?

[Chris Hoadley]

About 20, 30 yards. It sounds like something's beating on the trees. Almost like thunder. See anything?

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Thunder.

[Brian Greene]

Almost like thunder. Like thunder.

[Chris Hoadley]

What's an ammo? Right up through there. I just caught movement. Right up through there.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Shoot. This was one instance when they weren't pointing the gun at each other. They were actually able to get a clear shot.

[Brian Greene]

That's right. They saw. He said he saw movement. I start shooting. If it was me, I'd just start indiscriminately shooting into the air. Yeah. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Just side to side like a movie, hoping to hit something.

[Chris Hoadley]

My lights out, Buck. That's the life you made. Yeah, good deal. Good deal, Buck.

[Brian Greene]

Good deal.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, get that lighter out. Yeah, good deal.

[Brian Greene]

Get that lighter out. That'll shed a bunch of light on the situation. Nothing illuminates a room like a lighter.

[Chris Hoadley]

Going in here. Now stick one of them big hairy paws in her now.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, I got a lighter. Go ahead. How dare you. I dare you. Stick your dirty mugs in here. Now. I got a pissy pipe and a hot lighter that's burning my thumb. I also have a gun, but I'm not gonna use that.

[Chris Hoadley]

We're in trouble. I'm losing fluid.

[Brian Greene]

We're losing fluid. Fluid. You couldn't hold the lighter that long anyway. They're gonna explode in your hand.

[Chris Hoadley]

I'm out.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, that was conveniently quick. I've had Bic lighters for five years that never ran out. Right? When I smoked cigarettes, I had one lighter, I swear to God, for five years, it never ran out of fluid. And I did a lot of things with that lighter. A lot. But I never chased a Bigfoot with it. Well, however, he conveniently had it lit for 30 seconds and it ran out of fluid. See?

[Chris Hoadley]

Nothing. I can't see a thing. I hear him, I hear him.

[Brian Greene]

I hear him, I hear him.

[Chris Hoadley]

They're right on our ass. Come on, we gotta get there. Come on, come on, come on. I hear him hollering. Come on, let's go.

[Brian Greene]

Here come the Thunder Brothers. Here come the Thunder Brothers. Be careful.

[Chris Hoadley]

We mean you no harm. We just want to show you our new routine.

[Brian Greene]

Look.

[Chris Hoadley]

Clap them cheeks.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Clap them cheeks.

[Chris Hoadley]

Found it. You got it? We got it.

[Brian Greene]

We got it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right here, brother. Take this last piece. We got it.

[Brian Greene]

I'm right directly in front of you. I'll scream loud. You got the piss pipe? I got the piss pipe. You got the deadliner?

[Chris Hoadley]

I do.

[Brian Greene]

We've got all the ingredients. For what? I don't Know, we gotta get that.

[Chris Hoadley]

Ax put together and we gotta do it fast. Let's do it. Let's do that. Do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. We got that piece of pipe we believe has that second piece at lashing in it. The only way to get it open is beat it open. What?

[Brian Greene]

What are these guys doing?

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Why are they beating up?

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. All of a sudden, it's an Indiana Jones adventure. It's a choose your own adventure. This is a Dan Brown novel now. I don't know what's going on.

[Chris Hoadley]

Is that it? That's it. That's it. That's it.

[Brian Greene]

That's it. Oh, there it is. It's a piece of my shit. Well, to cool it off, you see, I stuck it on my ass and relieved myself.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah. We just got that pipe open and there it was. That's the other piece of that lashing we was looking for. Now we have all the pieces of the thunder axe.

[Brian Greene]

Thunder axe? What the fuck is a thunder axe?

[Darlene Stinkhand]

They're fitting it together.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, my God. This has gone way out of control now. It's a Marvel movie. Where's Thanos when you need him?

[Chris Hoadley]

That's it. We got it. We got it. Oh, yeah.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

They had a gun.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, everyone's got guns, but they're all excited about a thunder axe made with lashing and a piece of shitty wood.

[Chris Hoadley]

We got the thunder axe.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, this. This is like a 4chan board come to life. We call it the Thunder Axe Storm the Capitol.

[Chris Hoadley]

We have the power. Whoa. We just got the thunder Axe assembled. We need to get it in that safety box and give the Lightning man his chance to touch it. Come on, guys. Come on.

[Brian Greene]

What? This sounds really complicated for a mythological dum dum creature, like for a walking ape, really.

[Chris Hoadley]

The TR is set. The thunder axe is in the security box. Now we have to back off and let the Lightning man do his part.

[Brian Greene]

All right.

[Chris Hoadley]

As much as I hate to do this.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Fall into the trap.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

We have to leave that thunder axe here. We have to back out. Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

As much as I hate to do this, we gotta let Thunderman stick his hot loins in there. And then when he does, he will jizz lightning and we will all become all powerful. All mythological creatures will bow to our will. We have the thunder. Thunder Axe. Full of pee, but it's the Thunder Axe nonetheless.

[Chris Hoadley]

Get Lightning man his chance to touch that thunder axe. Yeah. Huckleberry Bill, Jeff, get up high on that ridge about 100 yards back behind the trap. All right? Will you Come with me. We're gonna hit that high. Will you come with me?

[Brian Greene]

We're gonna hit that Krispy Kreme. We're gonna hit that Krispy Kreme. 30, 40 yards out and then we'll be back. Yeah. You guys wait for certain death. I'll be at the Krispy Kreme.

[Chris Hoadley]

Jump on this side. Trap door goes down. We come running.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Let's go. This storm come out of nowhere. Looks like.

[Brian Greene]

Man. This storm conveniently come out of nowhere during the Lightning man episode. That's kind of crazy. Or well timed.

[Chris Hoadley]

Daylight Go son. What was that? What was that?

[Brian Greene]

What was that? What was that?

[Chris Hoadley]

Right there.

[Brian Greene]

What was that?

[Darlene Stinkhand]

They did Billy.

[Brian Greene]

Billy. Wanda.

[Chris Hoadley]

Billy.

[Brian Greene]

Y'all better get over here right now.

[Chris Hoadley]

I got.

[Brian Greene]

What you inside.

[Chris Hoadley]

I got.

[Brian Greene]

Don't make the pancakes. It's a goddamn veggie chicken fried on. You've been out here all night with your boyfriend?

[Chris Hoadley]

Hey. Honey.

[Brian Greene]

I told you I saw him. I got out of my goddamn. You better stop playing out here with your boyfriends right here.

[Chris Hoadley]

What if I do? I don't see anything. Easy now. Easy. Be ready. Be ready. Bill. He was like your huck, Remember? We gotta let him touch that thunder axe. Easy.

[Brian Greene]

Easy. Go slow. I don't want to die too quickly. Now. You gotta let him touch that thunder. That PP Thunder axe.

[Chris Hoadley]

I heard something over here.

[Brian Greene]

This is just wild to me that they found a pipe. They pissed on it. Inside the pipe was a lashing that. Then they found a rock that then they put a piece of wood together to make a thunder axe. And that thunder axe needs to be touched by the Lightning Man. Then the Thunder Brothers.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Inside the security box.

[Brian Greene]

Inside the security box. And then I don't know what happens. What happens then? I don't know. Oh. Everyone exploded. Did you hear that very realistic explosion noise that sounded like a cartoon.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Tree'S on fire.

[Chris Hoadley]

That lightning bolt right there. Huckaberg.

[Brian Greene]

That was a lightning bolt right there. I guess Buck did have some extra fluid in his lighting. He lit the tree on fire.

[Chris Hoadley]

Cal. Brother. What happened? Lighting him right there. That tree right there. That tree right there.

[Brian Greene]

The only tree in the entire forest that has been lit on fire. Can you see it directly? Where of us?

[Chris Hoadley]

Where? Come on. Bill. Come on. We got Jeffro. Jeff right there. Damn.

[Brian Greene]

Hey.

[Chris Hoadley]

Jeffro.

[Brian Greene]

Jeffro.

[Chris Hoadley]

Jeffro. Holy. Pull.

[Brian Greene]

Guard.

[Chris Hoadley]

Bill. Jeff. Why is there Jeff.

[Brian Greene]

Jeff.

[Chris Hoadley]

Jeff.

[Brian Greene]

Jeff. Jeff.

[Chris Hoadley]

Jeffro.

[Brian Greene]

Jeff. The. It's clear. The more you yell his name the more he will recover from a certain lightning strike. It's in the medical textbooks.

[Chris Hoadley]

Lightning. In my 49 years in the woods, I've never had a life that close to me. You can feel the power. Holy Vikings.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Been out there for a hundred.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

He. Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

This is 49. That's just how many years he's been out in these woods. This time it was the first 22 years of his life. He took a short break in Paducah and then he came back. Oh. Knocked him right out of his shoes. Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Is he all right? It's one. He never got closer than that buck. He was standing right there. Right there. I mean, he shook the ground.

[Brian Greene]

Let's forget about medical attention and recall exactly what happened.

[Chris Hoadley]

If I got some bad news, brother. What? Your boot blew off and you pissed your pants. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, my. Will it my tally whacker. He's been pissing all over the place. This time he's had a lot and a go. He had to go.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's all right.

[Brian Greene]

That's all right. That's all right. We'll clean you up. We always do. We'll catch you new ones.

[Chris Hoadley]

You're lucky to be alive. Yes, sir. All I remember is Huckleberry and Bill going down over that hill. Next thing I saw a flash of light, a huge boom. Blew the piss out of me. My boot flew off. That's the brightest light I've ever seen in my whole life. You're not going to be alive.

[Brian Greene]

You're not going to be alive. Don't worry. We don't need any additional medical attention for that lightning strike. Yeah. No. Terrified. You might hear a buzz for a couple of days and radios might turn channels when you walk by them. But don't worry about it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Lightning hit a tree that close. Oh, man. 10ft away.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

What the hell is that? That's a trap door. Huckleberry, stay with the jack. We heard the trap door go down. We need to hurry up and get up there. Then we gotta slow down and ease in because that lightning man could still be right there.

[Brian Greene]

Said every woman he has ever slept with. Slow down, ease in before the thunder man gets here. Easy, easy, easy, easy, easy.

[Chris Hoadley]

That lightning man, Thunder brothers could be right here. The trap door's down.

[Brian Greene]

Watch.

[Chris Hoadley]

Make sure they're not here. Willie, I'm a looking. I'm a looking. Willie, go to the right of the. I'm a looking.

[Brian Greene]

I'm a looking. I'm putting an A in front of looking to make it sound like I'm a little more redneck than I actually am. I'm a look. Good trap.

[Chris Hoadley]

Bill, cover the front. I'm gonna head around to the left. Let's check it out. Make sure he's. He's has to be close. He can be right here, guys. Keep your eyes open.

[Brian Greene]

I a say, what's that?

[Darlene Stinkhand]

What was the trap?

[Brian Greene]

I don't know. It doesn't matter. It's all just moving cameras really fast so you can't see anything on this side.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's in there. The thunder is in there. It's in.

[Brian Greene]

It's in the trap. Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Good deal. Yeah, it's in the trap. Hell yeah. Jeff, come on.

[Brian Greene]

Jeff, Jeff, Jeff. I know you just got hit by lightning, but come over here and see.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

The and fist your pan.

[Brian Greene]

See our thunder out ax. It's really cool. I've got a he man and Shera playset also.

[Chris Hoadley]

Go easy now. Go easy, Jeff.

[Brian Greene]

Go easy now. I think you also shat yourself. I can smell it from here. I think it's pee pee and poo poo, if you know what I mean.

[Chris Hoadley]

Got the thunder axes in the trap. How are you boys?

[Brian Greene]

Hallelujah, boys. I got struggle my lightning shat myself. Lost my ability to get an erection and I got a terrible headache. But woohoo. We got a thunder axe, whatever that means.

[Chris Hoadley]

We'Re in central Kentucky.

[Brian Greene]

And the team quickly sent the thunder axe to the Smithsonian for additional research because, you know, the thunder axe and all that shit. All right, everyone settled down? It's getting too loud in here. Oh, and the boys, well, there just has never been a better episode. I love the mountain monsters to death. I just think this is the funniest show that has ever been.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

It really is.

[Brian Greene]

And it's hard for me to imagine that there is any human being out there that is watching this with any degree of seriousness, but it's possible that there is someone out there believing this stuff. And I feel bad for their relatives. That's all. I gotta.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Maybe in the first couple of seasons. But aren't they on like season 20?

[Brian Greene]

I think it's actually. I think they're actually only on season number eight or nine. But I believe that they are not making any more new mountain monsters. I think they canceled it. Yeah, right before you get that lucrative, you know, syndication contract. It always works that way.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Huh? That works. Trying to save money.

[Brian Greene]

But don't worry, it'll be. I think it's on max right now. It'll. It'll float to Netflix or something like. But what are those boys gonna do after they get done with this? Do you think they made enough money to just kind of walk off into the sunset.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Well, depending on where they live.

[Brian Greene]

Well, you'd be surprised. I bet the. I bet these guys live in like Manhattan. They probably in the Hamptons or something. Yeah, I bet they clean up nice.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Have a big lake cabin.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, for sure. They're living on some lake in Kentucky and they'll always be famous. To the, to those who know. To those who want. Yeah, you know, it goes to show make content. Somebody out there will enjoy it. How many people? I don't know. But you know, we love it. So that's it. You can keep making them forever. We'd keep breaking them down. All right, all the audio and the video is now and always has been available on our [e-mail] it's hot. It's a hot website, but you don't have to piss on it. Pick it up with your hand. Like I said, all the audio. Yeah, I have no idea. That's a good question. Hit the contact us button if you want your free swag. Give us your address. We'll send you some 212-4333 TCB 212-433-3822 questions, comments, concerns, content, Ideas. Add the commercial break on Instagram and YouTube.com the commercial break for all of the episodes the same day they air here on the audio feed. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

I think so.

[Brian Greene]

I love you.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

I love you.

[Brian Greene]

Best to you and best you out there in the podcast universe. Only until next time. Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say goodbye.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Where'd you get those shoes?

[Chris Hoadley]

Easy.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

They're from dsw. Because DSW has the exact right shoes for whatever you're into right now. You know, like the sneakers that make.

[Brian Greene]

Office hours feel like happy hour, the.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

Boots that turn grocery aisles into runways, and all the styles that show off.

[Brian Greene]

The many sides of you from daydreamer.

[Darlene Stinkhand]

To multitasker and everything in between. Because you do it all in really great shoes. Find a shoe for every you at your DSW store or dsw.com if you've.

[Brian Greene]

Been struggling with your weight. Mochi Health is here to help. Mochi Health is a long term weight loss solution personalized to fit your unique needs and goals. Meet one on one with board certified obesity doctors and registered dietitians who are on a mission to listen. Eligible patients can Access custom formulated GLP1 medications at an affordable set price and get them delivered to their home each month. Take our free [e-mail] and use code AUDIO40 at checkout for $40 off your first month of membership. Every day is a chance to move forward, so why settle for gear that holds you back? Roan delivers technical fabrics that breathe, stretch, and adapt, keeping you sharp and comfortable from work to workouts. Roan's advanced fabrics fight odor, keep you cool, and move with you. With wrinkle release tech and a tailored fit, you'll always look as good as you feel. Upgrade your wardrobe, because when your clothing performs, so do you. Rhone Performance Apparel Fit for PROGRESS new customers get 20% off your first order at rhone.com with code RHONE20.