The Commercial Break
Episode: "Huckin' Buckin' Forest Quantum Witch"
Release Date: September 5, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley
Episode Overview
This episode of The Commercial Break brings Bryan and Krissy back together for their trademark blend of raunchy, offbeat improv comedy and unfiltered banter. The main chunk of the episode is devoted to a hilarious, riff-heavy "watchalong" recap of the reality TV show Mountain Monsters, focusing on its “final night hunt” episode with the introduction of the so-called "Raven Mocker" creature. Laced with pop culture tangents and personal tales about Atlanta dive bars, it’s a showcase of their comedic chemistry, irreverent nostalgia, and running inside jokes.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Tangents on Bar Nostalgia and Dive Bar Culture
[00:58 – 19:04]
- Bryan and Krissy reminisce about legendary (and infamous) watering holes from their youth, notably "Tommy Tang's" (a fabled LA spot they wish they'd visited) and Atlanta’s "Rusty Nail."
- Bryan: “There’s two reasons to go to the Rusty Nail — you had drugs or you needed them, that was it.” [04:21]
- Rich details about the Rusty Nail’s atmosphere: wood-burning graffiti, sticky floors, ancient dart boards, a cast of regulars (including a 60-something "head blow dealer"), and the pecking order for barstool access.
- A classic "relapse" story: Bryan recalls a former manager whose one-time fall off the wagon led to a wild bar bender, an alleged sting operation phone call, and his mysterious disappearance.
- Bryan (paraphrasing ‘Mike’): “Relapse is part of recovery.” [09:06]
- Reflections on how social attitudes and laws on drugs (especially weed) have changed since their young-adult days.
- Halloween is coming: Krissy’s excitement to decorate—“If I could, I would put them up next week right after Labor Day.” [16:16]
2. Intro to "Mountain Monsters" – Embracing the Absurd
[19:04 – 20:04, 20:04 – 47:52]
- Bryan and Krissy tee up their recurring “Mountain Monsters” breakdown episodes, citing fan requests and scheduling needs.
- Bryan: “Mountain Monsters you can count on — every time it’s gonna be classic.” [18:27]
- The duo launches into a snarky, running commentary of the “final night hunt” episode, packed with:
- Deadpan observations on the cast (“Buck, Huck, Chuck…”),
- Mockery of the show’s repeated format and “so-called evidence” for cryptids,
- Frequent laughter at the “hunt” for a giant Bigfoot (the “Raven Mocker”), including wild speculation, dubious evidence, and escalating in-group panic.
- Krissy and Bryan note the outlandish behavior, heavy-handed dramatics, lack of basic gun safety, and increasingly unconvincing “supernatural” encounters.
- Bryan: “There is no gun safety on this show.” [22:11]
- They invent their own folklore: “You take some donuts and Doritos... you have Buck. I take a little LSD and ayahuasca... wa-BAM! I’m the Forest Quantum Witch.” [33:35] (Parody)
3. Hilarious Highlight Reel & Notable Quotes
Sprinkled throughout Mountain Monsters segment
- On cliquish dive bar regulars:
- Bryan: “You had to earn your way into a bar seat... didn’t matter what time you went there. The people who had reserved bar seats were already there.” [04:58]
- On Mountain Monsters logic:
- Bryan: “No scientist has ever come with us on any of these. We’ve never recovered any actual evidence. We don’t have one picture of any mon(ster). But we kind of keep going.” [24:35]
- On gun safety:
- Bryan: “Where’s Alec Baldwin when you need him? Sorry, that’s a distasteful joke.” [22:13]
- On Raven Mocker "evidence":
- Bryan: “A guy in a Walmart hoodie opened up his mouth, roared at you. That’s about my estimation of what happened.” [46:58]
- On the Mountain Monsters team:
- Bryan: “What do you think these guys’ home lives are like?... I’m imagining it’s out in the sticks... they probably have the latest, greatest recliner, where they watch a lot of television and eat a lot of food.” [27:46]
- On the ever-more-ridiculous show arcs:
- Bryan: “I love how lately Mountain Monsters has got more psychologically trippy. It’s like one guy is always tripping out for some reason.” [31:35]
4. Meta Commentary – Why Do People Believe This?
[33:01, 46:25]
- Genuine puzzlement and comedic disbelief at anyone taking the show seriously:
- Bryan: “Who in America is left believing Mountain Monsters? Because I want to talk to you.” [33:01]
- Krissy muses about their actual off-screen lives, while Bryan speculates on their salaries and relative fame, leading to more playful mockery.
5. Noteworthy Segments & Timed Highlights
Dive Bar Memories
- 04:21 — Bryan details the only two reasons to go to Rusty Nail.
- 09:06 — Relapse as "part of recovery" riff.
Mountain Monsters Watchalong
- 20:34 — Show begins: “We’re in Lee County, Virginia.”
- 21:21 — Introduction of "The Raven Mocker."
- 24:52 — Bryan: “Listen, I just... I was born this way.” (Parody of their inevitability)
- 33:35 — Buck’s repeated “wa-BAM! I’m the Forest Quantum Witch!” improv.
- 40:38 — “Oh, fire came out of its mouth. That’s a new one. It’s a fire breathing raven mocker.”
- 45:25 — The “sensitive” Mountain Monster, Jethro, needs therapy after a sighting.
- 46:58 — “A guy in a Walmart hoodie...” (final evidence reveal)
Running Jokes & Banter
- Jokes about Mountain Monster cast members’ growing waistlines, possible health consequences, and their off-camera lives.
- Bryan’s fascination with how little actually happens on the show, and the show's escalating ridiculous “plot.”
Notable Quotes With Attribution & Timestamps
-
“There’s two reasons to go to the Rusty Nail — you had drugs or you needed them, that was it.”
— Bryan Green, [04:21] -
“Relapse is part of recovery.”
— Mike (Bryan parodies), [09:06] -
“No scientist has ever come with us on any of these. We’ve never recovered any actual evidence. We don’t have one picture of any mon(ster). But we kind of keep going.”
— Bryan Green, [24:35] -
“Where’s Alec Baldwin when you need him? Sorry, that’s a distasteful joke. I’ll take that back.”
— Bryan Green, [22:13] -
“You take some donuts and Doritos... wa-BAM! I’m the Forest Quantum Witch.”
— Buck (parodied by hosts), [33:35] -
“Who in America is left believing Mountain Monsters? Because I want to talk to you.”
— Bryan Green, [33:01] -
“Fire came out of its mouth. That’s a new one. It’s a fire breathing raven mocker.”
— Bryan Green, [40:38] -
“A guy in a Walmart hoodie opened up his mouth, roared at you. That’s about my estimation of what happened.”
— Bryan Green, [46:58]
Tone & Atmosphere
The episode is irreverent, unfiltered, and playfully chaotic—true to the show's self-awareness as “just FINE”—riffing on both their own lack of structure and the absurd earnestness of reality TV monster hunters. As always, the chemistry between Bryan and Krissy is authentic and effortlessly funny, with tangential deep dives, inside jokes, and a willingness to be silly just for the fun of it.
For New Listeners
If you're new to The Commercial Break, this episode is a quintessential slice of what to expect: raw banter, affectionate mockery of nostalgia and pop culture, running gags, outrageous improv, and a sense of two friends goofing off with no filter. The “Mountain Monsters” breakdown is a highlight for fans of reality TV parody and anyone who enjoys seeing the surreal in everyday absurdity.
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 00:58 — Show proper begins, with Tang bar nostalgia
- 04:21 — Rusty Nail story (“two reasons to go”)
- 09:06 — Legendary “relapse” call from Mike
- 16:16 — Krissy's Halloween anticipation
- 19:04 — Transition to Mountain Monsters breakdown
- 20:34 — Lee County, Mountain Monsters hunt begins
- 21:21 — Raven Mocker introduced
- 24:35 — Bryan's meta-commentary on the show's lack of evidence
- 33:01 — “Who in America is left believing Mountain Monsters?”
- 33:35 — The "Quantum Witch" improv/storyline
- 40:38 — Fire-breathing Raven Mocker
- 45:25 — “Sensitive” Mountain Monster; group therapy joke
- 46:58 — Hoodie-wearing “monster” as evidence
- 47:52 — Closing thoughts on the show’s cast and possible real lives
Memorable Moments
- The improvised recipe for creating the ultimate "Forest Quantum Witch" (with Doritos and ayahuasca), delivering one of the best running jokes in the episode.
- Bryan’s deadpan “scientific” analysis of absolutely no evidence being presented on TV after years of "hunting."
- The team’s escalating laughter at increasingly outlandish claims by the Mountain Monsters cast—a fire-breathing, shapeshifting Bigfoot, complete with suspect “found footage.”
Final Thoughts
Huckin' Buckin' Forest Quantum Witch is a droll, fast-paced episode that encapsulates the weird appeal of The Commercial Break: tangents, affectionate mockery, and manic comedy all in a single, friendship-fueled package. Even if you’ve never watched Mountain Monsters, you’ll enjoy—and possibly relate to—the absurdity of people earnestly chasing nonsense… and two best friends laughing mercilessly about it.