
Bryan & Krissy discuss the election, Monday Morning Misogyny, the 4B movement, the flat earthers, 90 Day Fiance, a condom and a catheter, he was not licking her boom boom down, Bryan & Astrid’s meeting, what are your relationship red flags, would you watch our twitch, Bryan’s kundalini yoga retreat, Guru Jagat, reality and the twisting of reality, your twenties are culty, and Yogi Tea.
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Brian Green
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Whether you love true crime or comedy, celebrity interviews or news, you call the shots on what's in your podcast queue. And guess what? Now you can call them on your auto insurance too. With the name your price tool from Progressive, it works just the way it sounds. You tell Progressive how much you want to pay for car insurance and they'll show you coverage options that fit your budget. Get your quote today@progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. This episode is sponsored in part by Klarna. Well, Halloween is over and you know what that means. It's time to gorge yourself on candy and start searching for that perfect gift to give those you care about or yourself. And in this household, that means buying gifts for the 12 to 18 children we've got running around. And while the season is festive and we always love giving gifts, paying attention to our finances always gets a little bit more attention this time of year. Astrid and I have used Klarna as our everyday smarter spending partner. Klarna allows you to split a purchase up into four interest free payments. So choose Klarna at your favorite retailers or shop now@klarna.com Klarna really has helped us be a little bit smarter about our shopping for the holiday seasons. So head over to Klarna.com to see their offerings and make Klarna your smarter spending partner for the holiday season. California resident loans made or arranged pursuant to a California Finance Law License NMLS number 1353190 Klarna balances account required. Klarna may get a commission. Limitations, terms and conditions do apply.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Except for my dog is ever going to control me.
Brian Green
On this episode of the commercial break, a week before Astrid gets here, I walk outside of that house I had down in East Atlanta and I go, I just can't. I just can't bring that thing up there.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
That was a good call. That's when you got the other car.
Brian Green
I got a Kia. A brand new Kia.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I came over one day and I.
Brian Green
Was like, I got a new car. Yeah. Because I'm like, in six days this woman that I love is going to show up and I can't impress her when there's no passenger seat for her to sit in. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dad, dear friend and the co host of this Show Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Best to you, Brian.
Brian Green
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. All right. We've had a weekend to lick our wounds and drink. How are you feeling? How are you feeling?
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I'm feeling good.
Brian Green
Yeah?
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
All right.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Feeling okay?
Brian Green
I'm feeling renewed. I don't know if you've noticed, but off with the news and on. Back on with Catfish and sister Wives here in the studio.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
A 90 day.
Brian Green
A 90 day fiance. I will not. I will not turn on the news forever. I'm just not going to turn on the news forever and ever and ever. Amen.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yes.
Brian Green
For those of us that were wishing for a different outcome in the election, it's nothing but Monday morning quarterbacking on the news and how terrible everything is and how terrible everything was. So I went to alternative places for news sources like that fucking excrement. I mean, I swear to God, X is like a cesspool. It's just a cesspool on both sides of the aisle.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yes.
Brian Green
Because you know what? I'm reading a lot of On X right now. And you know, obviously I live. I try my best to like, get news from different sources.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I agree.
Brian Green
I don't want to live in an echo chamber, even though I probably do to some degree. I don't want to. But that's just the way the algorithm works. Right. So. But on one side of the aisle, it's like insane. I mean, just insane craziness. We won. We're going to do all this stuff to you. Haha. Lol. I mean, this is just on X, right? Yeah. On the other side of the aisle, it's Elon Starlink stole the election. And where is Trump? I mean, the same shit that happened in 2020 is now happening on the other side of the aisle claiming the election was stolen. Look at the. You know, they're still sending out these fucking fundraising text messages. Are you getting them? I've gotten like 30 of them now. You know, hey, you know, Democrats still have a chance to win the House. Can you send $5 and, you know, secure the election? And I'm like, how in the world is this going to help now? Haven't people already voted? Why? Where's my $5? Some smart human being that had way too much time in their hands read on the very bottom of one of these fundraising emails that the money could go toward a recount of elections.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
What?
Brian Green
And so now there is a conspiracy theory running around that Kamala is secretly and her team are secretly going to go and ask for a recount of the election because Elon Starlink stole, you know, changed votes in California or something like that. I don't know. But I don't think Elon Star. Listen, I am open. Just like in 2020, I am open to any evidence you may of shenanigans. But you can't have it both ways. We can't say yet the election was the securest in history and then also say it was stolen when it's not in our favor. So I'm open. I'm open. But so far I have not seen any reputable news source put forward that the election was stolen. Chrissy's ready to move on. So let tell Kamala. Chrissy's ready to move on. Chrissy. It's over with Chrissy.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I'm ready to move forward.
Brian Green
Move forward. That's a better way to say it. Yes, it's time to move forward, I think. And as Chrissy and I were here just discussing in the studio, one of the big mistakes that the Kamala, you know, everyone's Monday morning quarterback and that's the problem. It's the worst. Every fucking. I can't even like, I don't everybody opinion. I know I don't click the links, but I read the headlines and every headlines is the 10 reasons why Kamala didn't win. This is how Trump won and Kamala lost. Yeah.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
The Dems lost.
Brian Green
The Dems lost because Biden. The Dems lost because Kamala. I think I'm. I think I understand why the Dems lost. Not enough people showed up to vote for Kamala and too many people showed up to vote for Trump. That's it. Yeah.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
It's simple math.
Brian Green
Yeah. And. But I know I am clear on one thing. I totally understand why the Democrats lost this election, why Kamala lost. And that is after extending multiple invitations to both aisles, both sides of the aisle. By the way, neither of them showed up on the commercial break. And that is clear why. Why we lost. Clearly. Clearly, with over three listeners in swing states, we could have done nothing. But it would have improved our ratings. And if. And if we can't get something, that's. If we can't get something out of the Harris team, then. Then that's what good is she doing us? And that's why next. Next time Burton Ernie for our president and vice president. That's what I say. But you know, they're gay so that half the country won't vote for it. I think there's also this like realization that. This like sad realization that maybe My fellow Americans, most of them are not ready or not willing or not able to punch the button for a female candidate. That's.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I think that's part of it.
Brian Green
I think that is part of it. And that's sad. I don't get it.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah. I didn't realize we were still there, but I guess we are.
Brian Green
You know, I don't know. Maybe it's because I was a mama's boy. Maybe it's because I like tits. I don't know really why I am like this, but I really am, like, enamored with the female form. Like, I just. I just think they're the fairer of the sexes. And quite frankly, I think they would. Y'all would do a great job of leading this country. I mean, we've done. A lot of. Men have been in charge for a long time, and so far, nothing good has come of it. I mean, look, look. All right, any. Look at where we are in world history right now. The oceans are full of plastic. The Earth is literally melting itself. Every country in the world is experiencing some kind of strife. We're just on the verge of World War Three and the Middle East. And there is 90% of the people who lead these countries and these situations. 90% of our leaders have dicks. And we just not have done. And we have not done a great job. And I think I understand why. And so I wish we would just go ahead and turn it over to the women for a little while, and then we'll see where we're at in, like, 10 or 20 years. You know what I'm saying? And then we can all collectively come to the table and make a decision about which one did a better job. Job. The male or the female. I hate to make it the war of the sexes, but I think that's what we need. And I have been reading that on the war of the sexes, that many women. And I say many. I mean, I read one post that many women have. Are choosing to withhold sex. I saw that because of the election results.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Well, there's this movement, right, in South Korea.
Brian Green
It was. It already happened.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah, yeah, but they're mirroring that, I think, where it was like, no, like, the women are in protest, are just, like, giving.
Brian Green
Not giving it up. This is the answer, my friend. So sorry, Jeff, but I'm going to now convince your wife that this is the answer. Already been on this kick for, like, two months. She knew long before the election results, she said, this country said it in the wrong direction. No sex for you. So there Is a movement going on quietly, I think, online and in social media spaces. I don't think this is at the mainstream, well, some mainstream media places, but there is a group of. Who have now decided they're going to copy what happened in Korea, in South Korea, I think, where the women did not like something having to do with autonomy over the body. I'm not sure exactly what it was. Something, I think something about birth control. I'm, I think I'm, I think I'm getting that right. See, this is where we need Christina in the studio so she can quickly Google it. Yeah, because it's hard for me to Google and talk at the same time, but something about that. And so now women in this country have decided to replicate what the South Korean women did, which is withhold any kind of sexual pleasure to a man until there is some changes in their political system. This is the answer. Now, it sounds crazy, but, you know, imagine if, Imagine if no one gave Trump a blowjob for like, you know, six years, four years. That guy.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Why did you even bring that up?
Brian Green
Well, listen, every. Listen, it's well known that Trump likes a blowjob whether someone wants to or not, you know, but imagine that you just withhold sex for a period of time. I think a lot of politicians would change their tune, quite frankly. That's my, that's my personal opinion. But why does it always fall on the women to, to, you know, have to lead that charge? Yeah, I don't know, Chrissy. It's. The patriarchy is alive and well and still kicking. I do have to say that. And listen, I'm not some like, you know, hardcore anti patriarchy human being. That's just not me. I sit in the middle of the aisle and I, I consider myself like more of like a casual observer of things that are going on. I like to. Monday morning quarterback. I like to talk about what happens after it happens, pretending that I know what I'm talking about, you know what I'm saying? But I do think that it's, it's, it's a really tough pill for some people to swallow that a woman might be in charge of this country, even though there are many countries around the world who have already done it. The Mexico have a female president isn't like El Salvador had a female president. Didn't Argentina.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Lots of people, lots of countries, Germany are doing it.
Brian Green
Yeah. Wasn't there a prime minister in the UK that was a woman for a period of Margaret Thatcher?
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I mean, let's go back to Cleopatra, honestly.
Brian Green
And look that. That civilization thrived. I mean, they thrived. They had beautiful flowers everywhere. Sure, some people died making those pyramids, but at the end of the day. At the end of the day, Cleopatra was, I think, universally understood to be one of the more notable figures in. And everything turned out. Look at Marie Antoinette. Was she somebody that led something? I think.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Well, she got beheaded, so.
Brian Green
Well, you know, it can't all be shits and giggles, Chrissy. Every once in a while, you're going to have a bad streak there. But I'm telling you right now, like, I cannot believe that in 2024, the most progressive country in the world, which is not the United States of America, does not yet have. I think it's Sweden or something like that, does not yet have a. A female president. Has not yet had a female president.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
And, well, it's hard even just to believe that Kamala was the first woman. Woman vice president.
Brian Green
It is hard to believe that.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I thought about that.
Brian Green
Yeah.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Just a few weeks ago and was like, wait, is that right? Yeah, that's right. Right.
Brian Green
Yeah, that is right. You are right about that. I think there was a candidate. No, there have been candidates, but I don't think anyone has ever been in office until Kamala and, you know, and. And good for her. And I think that's a step in the right direction. But let's be honest about the vice presidency. It doesn't mean shit. No one really cares about the vice president. No one votes for vice president of the United States. It's about the president. It's about the candidate. I don't think anybody voted for trump because of J.D. vance. Quite frankly. I think it's the opposite. I don't think anybody voted for Kamala because of Tim Waltz. He's a nice. Seems like a nice guy, and he certainly knows how to rile up a crowd of people. But that wasn't who you were voting for. You were either voting for Kamala or voting for Trump. And so I don't think anybody was voting for Kamala. I think they voted for Biden, and Kamala came along with it. So having a female vice president is like a consolation prize. It's not really like anybody's doing anything significant, but it just. It honestly blows my mind on either side of the aisle that we have yet had a female president of the United States. You would think that the time had come. Right. Like a long time ago. You would think that the time had come. And who was that? Who is that FBI director that we had? Janet Reno.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Oh, yeah.
Brian Green
Remember Janet Reno? Yeah, I think she was a terrible FBI director. But, you know, we've had, like, really people in that have much more power than the United. Than the President of the United States in office at some point. Now, I understand the FBI director is not. Is not, like, elected, but still, we've had some females that have really been. Have some. Been pretty close to the button, if you know what I mean. And yet we can't just get over it and then elect. And I'm not saying that Kamala, like, okay, Kamala lost. I get it. Right. But over the years, over the last 30, 40 years, we haven't had one qualified candidate, Clinton. Kamala. We haven't had, like, one other female that was that close to the presidency. It just surprises me. It really does. It really does. And so Chrissy for president. That's all I gotta say. Hoadley for president.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
No, thank you.
Brian Green
You don't want to be the president?
Kristen Joy Hoadley
No, no, no, no, no.
Brian Green
Why isn't it every person's dream to be the President of the United States at some point or the other? Never in your life have you ever thought, I'd like to be President of the United States. Never. What is the top thing that you've aspired to? What if I. If you could do anything? Yeah, like. Yeah, like, you know, some people, they want to be doctors, lawyers, firefighters, astronauts.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
You want to go to space?
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Well, I wanted to.
Brian Green
You did? Really?
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Well, it was a.
Brian Green
You know, I would much rather be President of the United States. And I agree with you, by the way. I've never aspired to be President of the United States. But I've known from very early age that I have disqualified myself from being President of the United States. When I first made out with. I'm not even to say her name. When I first made out with this young lady in the church when I was supposed to be an altar boy, I knew I've disqualified myself in so many different ways.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
There are too many people that have too many stories. Although apparently that doesn't matter anymore.
Brian Green
No, no, no, no, no, no. Well, now I think I can be President of the United States, but I don't want to. I much. I much prefer to talk on a microphone. Back here, I have a lot less power. A lot less power to make actual decisions. But what do you. You wanted to be an astronaut?
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah, I thought it would have been fun. I love space.
Brian Green
I love space and stars, too. I have zero interest in going there. Zero interest. Well, now I trashed it with all that starlink bullshit, but I Don't care.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
To now, but I did when I was younger.
Brian Green
Well, now it's a possibility that you.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Y true.
Brian Green
Now you could actually get up there. Now you could take a. I mean, if you had $6 million, you could actually take a ride up there. But you know, it seems very. I don't know, I mean, I don't want to diminish the accomplishment, but it seems very anticlimactic.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I was going to say that you just go up and then calm down.
Brian Green
Yeah. When you think about going to space, it's like I take a three year journey to Mars or something and it's like, you know, meet aliens and you know, have to live on board of this big ship that if somehow has gravity and a pool.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah, all the movies. Yeah, movie stuff.
Brian Green
Yeah. Like I want a floating hotel. Like if you could take like the icon of the seas from Royal Caribbean and float it out into space for.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
A couple years, totally.
Brian Green
I'd be totally fine doing that. But right now space seems very anticlimactic. The ships are rather, I don't know how sparse of any furniture or anything. Like that doesn't seem like very much fun. Like it just go up and go down. Now I understand you're going to get a great view, which by the way, the world is round. People who non scientists have now been up there and have decided the world is round. I didn't wonder where those flat Earthers were.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I don't know.
Brian Green
There was a whole rage back in 2020. Now you really haven't heard from them in a long time.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
We did a whole couple of shows on those.
Brian Green
We'll get back to it. I actually did some research on this a couple days ago. And they're still out there. Yeah, they're few and far between, but they're still out. They're not quite as loud and proud as they were before. Yeah, once, you know, once a few commoners went up there, took a few photographs. Yeah. And said, I really did go to space. I came back and the Earth indeed is round. Or at least the part that I saw is spherical. Some people, they just all of a sudden they went away. Remember there was like that leader of the group and he was like. He said, flat Earth. Being a flat Earther is great for my love life.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
All right. He was the leader.
Brian Green
Another male in charge of another group. Another leader of some shit knock organization trying to convince people that the world is flat with edges. That's what happens.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Oh God.
Brian Green
But anyway, I have zero interest in going to space as it stands right now and I really did never want to be the President of the United States either. No, I think the. I honestly, big job I think the most I aspire to have about being famous.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I mean, I don't. You could never be anonymous.
Brian Green
No. No.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Ever.
Brian Green
There is no corner of your life that won't get dug up. I mean, listen, in today's society you can be anybody and there's no corner of your life that won't be dug up. That's just the reality of the world that we live in. We almost live in like a weird dystopian nanny state where you can figure out like a 13 year old with a running knowledge of Linux SQL, you know, servers can probably figure out every bit of your life. And that's a weird world to live in, but it is the one we live in. Thank God they didn't have, you know, ring doorbells when I was making out with people in the church, you know what I'm saying?
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Exactly.
Brian Green
Or FaceTime cameras or anything like that, you know. But I never wanted to be president because I agree with you. Like, I never wanted to make those kind of decisions on behalf of anybody. Like big life changing, right. World changing, history changing, a kind of decision. And so the people who do want to be there are one or two people. They're either really altruistic or terrible fucking human beings. That's it. If you want that kind of power, you're like some weird evil narcissist. And welcome to 2024. 2025, I should say. I mean that's the truth. And that's why I think everybody who runs for president should be met with a little bit of skepticism. Just like a little bit of skepticism.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
You know, but now I don't think anything disqualifies you from being president. I think we're there. I think you can. I think we are full idiocracy. We are at full. We are at peak idiocracy.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I was bringing up that movie the other day.
Brian Green
Well, I mean, listen, Back to the Future, the Simpsons and to some degree Idiocracy all called this. Yeah, they called this. Now I don't believe. Yeah, I don't believe in like, you know, I do believe in the multiverse, but we're not going to get. Let's, let's just back up from that for just one second. I don't want it to spend the next 30 minutes explaining that to anybody. But at the end, because I don't understand it myself, a little bit of this, A little bit of this. And a little bit of that and the multiverse. Trump is president. President twice and three times, probably because I called it I'm the Quantum Witch and everything happens all at the same time. President Trump, 2037. I forgot what I was saying. All those movies called this and it seems really strange that they did. Right? But I guess if you just had a. If you went back to 1982 and you just had a little bit of common sense, you would have seen it coming a mile away. I mean, this is just where we're at. It's just where we're at, so. All right, kids, well turn on your star link and change some votes. And then when we come back, we're going to talk about. We're going to lighten it up a little bit. Chrissy has gotten into the 90 Day Fiance.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Oh, did I.
Brian Green
So, yeah, let's talk about it when we get back.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Okay? In case you guys were wondering, I am currently trapped in the closet in the studio being forced to record liner after liner and I never get to leave. So help me by following us on Instagram hecommercial break and on TikTok CBP podcast and go to our website, tcbpodcast.com for more information about Brian and Chrissy and access to our massive catalog of video and audio episodes. Now Please text us at 212-4333, TCB and tell Brian and Chrissy to let me out of the closet.
Brian Green
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Kristen Joy Hoadley
I'm Jenna Fisher. And I'm Angela Kinsey. We are best friends and together we have the podcast Office Ladies where we rewatched every single episode of the Office with insane behind the scenes stories, hilarious guests and lots of laughs.
Brian Green
Guess who's sitting next to me? Steve.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
In the studio. Every Wednesday we'll be sharing even more exclusive stories from the Office and our friendship with brand new guests and we'll be digging into our mail bag to.
Brian Green
Answer your questions and comments.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
So join us for brand new Office Ladies 6.0 episodes every Wednesday. Plus on Mondays we are taking a second drink you can revisit. All the Office Ladies rewatch episodes every Monday with new bonus bonus tidbits before every episode. Well, we can't wait to see you there. Follow and listen to Office Ladies on the free Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts.
Brian Green
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Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah, you were the first.
Brian Green
Since I've got way too much time on my hands with 13 children, two jobs, and a partridge in a pear tree, I. I said, hey, Chrissy, why don't you turn on 90 Day Fiance before the. Before the 90 days.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yes, yes.
Brian Green
And. And she has. We were talking about this last week that there was a guy that is a paraplegic. Well, I think he's actually quadriplegic, but he has use of his hands.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Just not full.
Brian Green
Not full use. He can't, like, move his fingers all the way, but. So the guy really has a tough life. Like, he. But he seems to do well on his own. He seems to be fully independent.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Turned around. He played professional rugby and went to all these other countries, meanwhile. Okay, so, yeah, let's just go into talking about him first.
Brian Green
Okay, so he is married.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
He is married four times.
Brian Green
He's been married four times. I missed that part. Four times. Four.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yes.
Brian Green
I'm sorry. He must be an asshole. How do you get married? I mean, unless you're getting married to the same person over and over again like Chrissy's parents did. Right. Getting married four times, I think signals that either your picker is off or something's wrong with you. Don't you think?
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
Like married for. Or you just really love getting married? Four. Four times.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
So this is his fifth.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
This will be his fifth if he goes through. Yeah.
Brian Green
Wow.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah, I think that's what they said. I'm pretty sure.
Brian Green
Okay, I didn't catch that. But then again, I'm in here doing a million different things while I'm watching.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah, I know, I know. Plus, they're speaking Portuguese, so you have to be watching it to.
Brian Green
Yes, you do. You do have to. You have to read the captions. So she is from Brazil. Is it Brazil? I think I said Mexico last week and I was wrong. It's. She's from Brazil, because I watched last night.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Seems really sweet. I do like her.
Brian Green
Yeah, I do like her too. So he is now down in Brazil, at least in the show. He is now down in Brazil and he is doing the obligatory, you know, meeting of the family and hang. They're meeting for the first time face to face.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
And he's trying to get to know her life there.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
They're all meeting for the first time face to face on this show. They've been usually started up a video relationship, I guess. I think they've been together like four months or something like that. Before he even went down there. I don't know.
Brian Green
I don't know either either. But he. So you can imagine that as a quadriplegic he has a life that's much different than people who are not quadriplegic. There's a lot of things to think about that are much different, including literally just taking a. In the morning. Like there are things that are much different. And he's got to go down there in to some degree to show her what it's like to live with him because it's not because she's going to need to care for him in some respect.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah, he's very independent, but.
Brian Green
But yeah, not 100 independent because when you're quadriplegic, I can't imag imagine you are 100 independent ever. Right. So he goes down there, perfectly lovely young lady. She has a daughter, she's divorced. She is. Seems like she cares for this guy genuinely. But there are the bumps and bruises that come along with living these two very different lifestyles. One abled and one handicapped. There's just two very different lifestyles. But you know, people are people, no matter whether they're in a wheelchair or not. And some people are just dumb. And this guy, guy, I. I don't know. He doesn't. Sometimes he doesn't seem like the brightest bulb. He seems like a sharp guy.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
But then he does stuff like, like we talked about this last week, he. They go to make love at some point and she says, do you have a condom? To which he replies, no, I don't have a. No, they don't show this part. They talk about it afterwards. He says, no, I don't have a condom. First of all, how do you not have a condom?
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Well, also too, I have to go back to that because in the first few, it might have been the first episode or the second episode, he's showing her, you know, kind of what, what has to happen. And he men that he has to Use a condom to put on the catheter.
Brian Green
Oh, I missed that part too. Yeah.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
So I was like, how did he not have the condom again? Anyways?
Brian Green
Okay, so wait, so he has to use a c. He used to use a condom to put over the catheter.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
The condom with the catheter.
Brian Green
Oh, so he doesn't hurt her. Like, so. So there.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I don't know.
Brian Green
I don't know. I don't know how a catheter works. Thank God I've never had.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
That was like in the first or second episode number 10 now.
Brian Green
God, I should have. You should have been the one talking about this all along. Look at me. I just breeze over fast. So I'm like. I just fill in the gaps with bullshit. Wow. Okay. All right. So not only should he have a condom, but then he really needs a condom to even make love. And he's been really excited about this from like episode number one. He's ready to get it on the blue pill. He's ready to get it up. Apparently he can have sex and then he doesn't have one.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah. Then he's not prepared.
Brian Green
So at least in the. At. You know, the kind of the cutaway, the after event conversation to the camera, he explains that. Then he decides. He tells her, I'm going to go down on you. Let me, let me, you know, let me lick you up. Yeah.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
And she says, no, I'm licky boom boom down.
Brian Green
Licky boom boom boom down.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Inform.
Brian Green
Me.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah, I lick it.
Brian Green
Boom boom.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
He was not booming, booming down.
Brian Green
He was not licking her. Boom boom down. No, he was not. No, no. So, yeah, so there's an argument. Chrissy and I talked about this to some degree and it wasn't there a call, like a caller who wrote in and said that he wanted to have oral sex with his girlfriend. Yes. That's how we connected these two stories. That's right.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
So she says no.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah. For a lot of women that's even more intimate than having.
Brian Green
Right.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Penetrated. Of penetrative sex.
Brian Green
Yeah.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
So, yeah. So she just wasn't ready. And he took it as a rejection. But then he called his sister. His sister said, n. Look, that's very, very intimate thing. And don't take it as a rejection.
Brian Green
So, so he goes and he apologizes, but then they come to the next stumble, which is that the mother. Now you got to remember this.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Oh, the mother. That's right.
Brian Green
This is in Brazil. And like, let's just be real frank.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
About six hours, I think from like the nearest city or something.
Brian Green
Six Hours from a major town. Yeah, it's not live in the middle of nowhere, but they live in the middle of nowhere, you know what I'm saying? Like the halfway in the middle of the nowhere. Yes, they probably have a store somewhere, but it's probably a local mercado. It's, you know, they don't have all the accoutrements of living in a major. It's not Rio de Janeiro. That's not where they're living. So the mother, you know, comes in from even further in the middle of nowhere to come in and, you know, drives three hours. The father's supposed to be there. The father doesn't show up. The mother comes in and he is the guy in the wheelchair trying to be very polite. And she ices him, doesn't talk to him, barely says a word, doesn't eat.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
The dinner with them.
Brian Green
Then the girlfriend cooks a really nice lunch and they go to sit outside to eat it. And she is begging her mother to come sit down and have lunch. And her mother's like, no, no, I don't want to, I'm not interested. I don't want to talk to him because let's be honest about it, he's in a wheelchair. That's just it. She doesn't like the guy because he's in a wheelchair. Maybe she claims that it's because he's American, but, you know, I mean, the guy seems nice enough. I don't think it has anything to do. I think that's a convenient excuse as to why. I mean, this 90 Day Fiance they find, they find the most ridiculous stories with the most ridiculous people. Every fucking time.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I know, how do they do it?
Brian Green
I mean, it's formulaic at this point.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Well, do these people write in and say we want to be on here? Like, I'm curious as to the process.
Brian Green
Of course they do. This is like Love is Blind. No one on this show doesn't want to be famous. Do you know what I'm saying? That's it. You have. They have jumped the shark. There is no pure true love story here. They all want to be famous because no one, and I promise you, no one volunteers to put their love story on camera. You never know what's going to happen. You could get dumped. You could find out that she's cheating on you. You could have erectile dysfunction. I mean, I don't know. It's all going to out there for the world to see.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yes, yes, yes.
Brian Green
And so all of these people want to be famous to some degree. Can you imagine you and I dating. You're off in England, and I'm here, and I call you up and I say, hey, can I bring cameras?
Kristen Joy Hoadley
We've never met before in person. Only had this online relationship. But, yeah, let's. Yeah, let's put it out there for the whole world.
Brian Green
So Astrid and I had a relationship very much like this.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I thought about you guys.
Brian Green
Not a chance in hell would I have put that on camera. Not a chance in hell. And we had a pretty, like, milquetoast relationship compared to some of these people, but not a chance in hell. Astrid's mom hated me when we first met. She hated me. She cried because I came. Yes. I'm not even kidding. Her mom cried. I took Astrid. Astrid and I met over the phone, communicating via text message on Facebook. I gave her a Spanish paragraph that I had poorly translated to introduce myself. And she responded in English. I speak English, but nice try. You know what I'm saying? Anyway, so then we communicate for like four, three, four months straight. We do. We communicate nonstop, 24 hours a day, pretty much from the moment that we. We started communicating. And then she's coming to the United States to visit her aunt. Just happens to. She already had this trip planned long before I met her. Well, she comes, we in, and her mom is also there with her. We get introduced. I stay there for the weekend. I even take her mom out. Like, we go on our first date.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
How was it? I have a. About this because I was. I was noting how much I really enjoy the airport meets.
Brian Green
Yes.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
That's always so hopeful. Yes. Well, they run to each other, and.
Brian Green
Here I'll share a little bit of.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Touch and hug and love. And so I. I'm curious, like, how. What was it when you guys met in person?
Brian Green
Yeah. Well, within a couple of weeks of knowing her, I knew that this trip was coming up. I want to. Maybe it was not three or four months. Maybe it was like two or three months. I knew that this trip was coming up. And she said, when come to United States now she. Her aunt is in North Carolina, and I was in here. I had been going to North Carolina to visit my best friend's father.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yes.
Brian Green
Who was married to Astrid's aunt. That is how we connected. Right. So I had been driving back and forth to see her. My best friend's father, who was dying of cancer at the time. So it took about. It takes about three and a half, four hours to get up there. So Astrid. So the day. And I am planning to be there. And because everybody in the family has now gotten word that this meeting is going to happen. There are literally 20 people in North Carolina at this aunt's house waiting for me to show up. I am driving my. And by the way, I had that shitty little Honda with no head, you know, no one headlight torn off, like half a car. I mean imagine me driving down the road with half a car like split open on the side, like literally one head like just dangling off, taped up. I mean it was like the shittiest Honda Accord. The first car that I owned paid off. I had owned it for years. I never got it fixed because I was like, I'm taking the $4,000 and going on vacation. This I'm not paying to get that shit fixed. It was like186,000 miles on it. Anyway, it wasn't that old. I just drove a lot. I just like would drive in circles because I didn't know what to do with myself. ADHD in full effect. So this is a no story. A week before Astrid gets here, I walk outside of that house I had down in East Atlanta and I go, I just can't. I just can't bring that thing up there.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
That was a good call. That's when you got the other car.
Brian Green
I got a Kia. A brand new Kia.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I came over one day and I was like, oh.
Brian Green
And I yeah, new car. Yeah. Cuz I'm like in six days this woman that I love is going to show up and I can't impress her when there's no passenger seat for her to sit in.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
What a door to open for?
Brian Green
That's right when you have to get in from the driver's side, it's just doesn't. It's got to have the same look and feel as my four door sedan. That looks safe and sturdy. So. And I think I paid like 13% interest for that thing cuz I needed it. Of course you did. And here's the funniest story. There was like mass confusion. Like the dealership was so interested in getting me out the door with this car and I was so interested in getting out the door with this car that the guy forgot to take the down payment. Like you know, you know you signed the contract that I shit you not. The finance guy forgot to run my credit card for like the $3,000 I was putting down in the car.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
So like, but so like three days later I start getting these like desperate phone calls from the manager. We're coming to repossess the car if you don't show up at the Dealership. And so on the way to go meet Astrid, I had to go up to Gwinnett, 70 miles away from East Atlanta to like swipe my credit card for this payment. It was like, it was the weirdest thing. It was so weird. And they somehow thought I had like, you know, gotten away with it. Right. And I was like, no one ever asked. I don't know exactly.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
You gave me the keys.
Brian Green
I've never, I've only bought one other car co signed by my mother in law at the time. Right. All right, so anyway, so 20 people waiting in North Carolina. I tell her I'm going to be up there at like, I don't know, six or seven o'clock, whatever time. I tell them I'm going to leave after traffic. I left after traffic and I said I was going to be there at 8:00. And I don't think I showed up till 9:30. And let me explain why. Not because the traffic was bad, but because I was so incredibly nervous that I started driving around North Carolina.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
The miles on that new car. That's right, to break it in.
Brian Green
Listening to music, like trying, you know, texting with Astrid, trying to get settled down a little bit. Smoking cigarettes like it was going out of style. Like, you know, stopping at the gas station to rub myself with, you know, car scented, you know, those little trees. So I didn't smell like cigarette smoke, I swear to God.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
When really in reality you just smell like cigarettes and whatever.
Brian Green
That's right. Yeah, that's right. So I open the door. So I get there, I pull in. I am about as nervous as I have ever been, I bet. And I walk to the front door of this very nice house in North Carolina and I open up the door and there is these 20 people sitting in the family room.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Hola.
Brian Green
Yeah, I know. And they're like, hola, Miguel. Hola. Hey, Brian's here. Hey. Woo. And there's even like friends of friends are there. Like it was, it was like watching 90 Day Fiance on TV in real life. Right there in real life, right. And Astrid was in the kitchen. So I walk through, I say hello to everybody. Astrid is standing there in the kitchen and she comes out in the hallway and we have one really nice, incredible hug. Kiss on the cheek and a really energetic love filled hug. That was about it. Felt as good as it looks on TV sometimes, right? And sometimes you watch those things on TV and you're like, wow, that's a really, you know, you're just letting out months of like kind of pent up energy and then there's always anticipation. Yeah. Here's the thing that I think can't get conveyed on, on television, but is in one of the stories playing out right now. And I'll explain in a second. You don't know whether or not Rachel and I have called this the smell quote, unquote. You don't know if the smell is going to be.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
And it's a true thing.
Brian Green
Absolutely. Absolutely. Are the pheromones going to connect? Because you can have all the love in the world while you're writing text messages, talking on the phone. And by the way, Astrid and I had done very little FaceTiming or sending of pictures. We had done that, but we didn't do that as a, like, as a, as just a general rule. We weren't FaceTiming each other. We were just text messaging. Now, we certainly sent pictures back and forth, but not many. But you don't know whether or not that smell is going to be there. And if you don't connect physically in person, then you're fucked. It's not happening. Right.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
You can't, you can't make. Manufacture that.
Brian Green
And I think to some degree that's why I decided to put extra miles on that car is. First of all, it was brand new. I'd literally gotten it that day. Like, I literally legally got it that day. But then the other thing was I really was enjoying myself in this conversation that, this continuous conversation that was going on with Astrid. And I didn't want to lose that. And I knew that there was a 50% chance that this weekend, these couple days, I could lose that. Right. Could just go south and we just, we just, you know, it kind of fades away. But it didn't. It heated up and that's, that's what happened. But anyway, so when I went there, so I said to Astrid, when I got there, I said, listen, you're here for two weeks. You're at the beginning of the trip, like, if you want to, and if it's okay with you, and if you think it's appropriate, I'll spend a couple days here in North Carolina and we'll just kind of get to know each other a little bit.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
We'll drive around the city.
Brian Green
We'll drive around the city in my brand new Kia. That's all I can afford to do since I just bought a brand new Kia. We'll drive around the city for a little while.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I know this cute little gas station.
Brian Green
That's right. I think we went to like downtown, like Williams, not Williamsburg, but I forgot where it was. Oh, Charlotte. No, not Charlotte. It was up in. What's another historic city up there. I'll think of it. One on the break. But we, we just like drove around and we went to, you know, this little town, cobblestone streets, I don't know. And then we took her mom to like the science museum and went and had some fun for a day just to get to know her mom, because her mom was there too. So adding to the level of complexity is the aunt, the mom, the 20 friends, the, you know, everybody. Well, I gotta give her aunt credit because her aunt was cheering us on the entire time. And I asked Asher, do you want to come back to Atlanta with me for a couple days? And I'll bring you back whenever you're ready to come back. Three days. Like, let's just go to Atlanta. Three days, you meet some of my friends, we can hang out at my house or whatever. Freeing up the situation a little bit from all of the people kind of breathing over her. And the morning I was staying in a hotel, hotel, and I came back to come. She said yes. And I came back and I came to grab her that morning. And the house was empty. It was Astrid's mom, Astrid's aunt Astrid and me. And they had an upstairs, like, loft area. And I came in the house and Astrid came down the stairs and she looked a little bit upset. And then the aunt was in the kitchen. And the aunt goes, brian, Brian. She sounds exactly like this, by the way. I do a perfect impression. Brian, Brian, it's time to go, go, go. And I'm like, what? And she's like, go, go, go. Now you guys need to go. Bye, bye, see you later. Don't worry about anything. I take care of it. Go, go, go, go, go. She was like pushing us out the door. And I'm like, what is going on? Right? And then I can hear Astrid and her mom are bickering at each other, but in Spanish, but I can't understand it. It's too fast, it's too loud. And literally Mediehi, my aunt's name. My aunt in law is like, okay, goodbye, see you later. And I get in the car and I'm like, what's going on here? Because I could tell something's off. And Astra goes, it's just my mom. I don't want to talk about it. Let's go. And so we go. When we came back a week later, we stayed. She stayed a couple extra days. A week later, her mom was so pissed at me. Her mom was so upset. Crying, screaming like it was just like.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I can't even imagine because of course.
Brian Green
Well, listen, you just took my daughter away. You're some strange man in the United States of America, just by the way, a little bit older, just took my daughter away to, you know, 400 miles away. And, you know, I don't know, know you like. Yeah, but Astrid was an adult. Like, what can you do? I mean, this is the way that the, you know, some families are. But it all ended up working out. So I stood there and I just took it and I just through. At, through Medieh, communicated my intentions or my lack of intentions or whatever. You know, kind of explained who I was and how we, you know, what all this, blah, blah, blah, blah. They had known that this was going on. Like, we were communicating with everybody. They were all like, right sitting there in stadium seat style, waiting for Astrid and I to make out in front of them. Like, I mean, come on. They knew what was going on, but it's just like it was a misunderstanding now, you know, Astrid's mom and I, we are the chumiest of chum. We love each other, but those situations are so very difficult. But we had the most milk to first milk toast version of this. That, that and then trying to win her father over are like the most difficult parts of this whole thing for, for the two of us in 90 day Brian. He's been saying that since the day we met. That's right.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
You never actually wanted him over.
Brian Green
No, no, no, not yet. I'm hoping by the time I'm dead or he's dead, one of us are dead. I'm about his age. So by the time. But at the same time, like 90 Day Fiance, they pick the craziest of situations. Guy in wheelchair, girl in Brazil, doesn't speak any English, with a mom that hates everybody. You know what I'm saying? Two lesbians in England. One has an anxiety disorder and could barely leave the house. And the other one is a hippie who doesn't want to work for a living. It's like, there's no chance this is working out. No chance. And they buy a van and decide to travel around Europe. Yeah. One can't leave the passenger seat because she's crippled by anxiety. And the other one's like, let's go to a nudist camp. What the fuck is going on? It's never going to work out. 90 Day Fiance producers know exactly what they're looking for. And man, do these stories really, some of them can really shine they end up being really funny. Anyway, let's take a break. We're way over. Let's take a break. And we'll be back.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
In a shocking turn of events, it's me again, Christina, your producer and resident rom com lover, here at the commercial break. And I just have one thing to say. I'm just a producer standing in front of an audience asking you to follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at CBpodcast, text us or call us and leave us a voicemail. Because when you realize you want to.
Brian Green
Spend the rest of your life with.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Tcb, you want the rest of your.
Brian Green
Life to start as soon as possible.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
And while you're at it, go to our website, tcbpodcast.com but you don't have to, because we like you just as you are now. If you immediately got those references, you're my kind of person. But it's time to take a break and listen to some sponsors and then we'll get back to the show.
Brian Green
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Kristen Joy Hoadley
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Brian Green
All right, a couple of things for the a couple of things for the audience before, before we keep on going. Keep on going. Like we're going to stop. Okay, let's get this show. Talk to you later. Couple things for the audience. I'm posing this to you. I have two questions or I have two favors to ask. One, I want to know what you see as red flags in a relationship. And I don't mean obvious red flags. He went to jail for murder. I mean like subtle red flags in a relationship. Relationships that you've been in. If you could text us 212-4333, TCB text us because I want to do an episode about this. We've gotten a couple of ask tcbs about Red Flag, Green Flag, and I want to kind of mix that in and make a little bit of, maybe even make an episode out of it. But I, I want to know. I know my subtle red flags right now that I'm looking back on it. Maybe not so subtle, but I'd love to do an episode on that next week. So if you could text those in 212-433-TCB, I'd appreciate it. Number two, I am considering. We are considering. Don't even put this in the book. Chrissy, where is that book where I I don't even know. Where did the book go?
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Oh, it's back there.
Brian Green
Okay. I am considering doing we record on certain days here at certain times. And I am considering in 2025, allowing Twitch to view in on one of these episodes per week, allowing you to communicate and in and be interactive with us one day a week. Now, that may not be convenient for your job, but we'll tell you more about that as we get on. If we did a live Twitch Stream once a week while we're recording an episode that is going to come out in the future. Would you be willing to watch and interact with us? 212-433. TCB. Please let us know. I would appreciate it. I want to hear what the audience has to say before I do, too. Before I even, like, put any hard brain power into this. We're making a lot of changes here at tcb. And before we add yet another one, I want to make sure it's worth it because we've done live things before, like Clubhouse and end up with seven people in the room because it's like, you know, noon on a Tuesday, and they're like, I don't have time to do this, so here's what I want to talk. Yeah, please let us know. Here's what I want to talk about next while we're on the tv. Kick Guru Jaget.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Oh, yes, I got caught up on that, too.
Brian Green
My God. If you are not watching the Breath of Fire. Breath of Fire, you are missing out on understanding Brian in some small way. And I'll explain why. I have been to not this particular version of Kundalini Yoga, but I have been to a disciple of the original Yogi Bajran. Yogi Bajran, One of the disciples, one of the people who followed Yogi Bajran around. I have been to her level one and level two workshops called the Cobra Breath Workshops. Now, I'm not going to get too much into it. Some of it. You're, like, sworn to secrecy, right? Why? I. I don't know. Because you paid $2,000 for it and they don't. They want to keep on charging, I think. I don't know. But let me explain. We talked a little bit about this last week, but let me explain. Or did we talk about. This was just you and I talked about. Okay. There's a young lady in LA who has been selling and serving up a certain type of meditation and yoga called Kundalini Yoga. Her name is Guru. Guru Rue Jagat. She is taking the teachings of a guy named Yogi Bajran and continuing that practice. Yogi Bajran came to the United States back in the 60s. He was not a yogi. He was a Pakistani customs official. But because he was dressed the way he was dressed and everyone was looking for the next guru because everyone. It's like Summer of Love and the hippies, the 60s and the 70s. All of a sudden people started thinking that.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Following him.
Brian Green
Yeah, following him because for some reason, you know, he was the Next God, because of the way that he dressed with a turban and the white robes and the whole nine yards. He was a Sikh. So he went through the 70s and 80s and he very much made a living for himself doing this. There was a couple problems with this. He got a huge following, by the way. He had these disciples. Disciples. He had thousands, tens of thousands of people who studied this. He encouraged people to go out and do business, have businesses that did good in the world. And some of them did.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
And office supplies.
Brian Green
And office supplies. And some of them did not. And most of them worked directly for him under his guise, under his direction. He was a con artist, a sexual predator. A sexual predator of epic proportions. He was taking the daughters of some of his disciples and turning them into his sex slaves at very early ages, 16, 17 years old. One of them speaks directly about it in this documentary. He was also running drugs even though he. One of his dictates was to never drink alcohol, drugs or tobacco. So the things. By the way, he was a yogi that never did yoga. He didn't even know how to do it. No, he was making it up almost whole cloth the entire time. Now, I have done this type of yoga and I do have to tell you here, to tell you with a clear head now with a clear head that there is some kind of physiological alteration that goes on when you do this kind of.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
They talk about that.
Brian Green
Oh, it's amazing. It's amazing.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
It's a high.
Brian Green
And I do believe it opens you up to some kind of spiritual experience, some kind of connection in the universe energetically that you may not otherwise have on a day to day basis. Basis. I think part of that is you're just giving time to like pay attention to your body and where you're at. I think, I think maybe a little bit of it is magic or spirituality, whatever you want, faith, whatever you want to call it.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Well, breath work in general.
Brian Green
I mean, I mean it's yoga, right? It's meditation, it's yoga. Yeah. But there is a whole cadre of horseshit that comes along with this stuff.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Oh yeah, yeah.
Brian Green
This young lady, this guru Bajra Jagat. Jagat, who is out in la, started some hipster, you know, yoga center, meditation retreat center. And by the way, the, the documentary is not over. I've not seen the last.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah, well, she also calls it like science something. The science Institute, she calls it technology technology.
Brian Green
She calls Kundalini Yogi yoga technology that she is using, you know, technology of the future and all stuff. Not technology, technology. It's breathing and waving your hands in the R like a. And my arms in the air like a mad person is really what it is. But all of these people who. Who are leading these places, they seem to find a way to make it financially make sense for them and not for you. Because you need to pay for spiritual enlightenment. And the more you pay, the higher you go. It's Scientology all over again. And this is the problem I have sometimes with New Age.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah, absolutely.
Brian Green
New Age spirituality in a time when dogma makes less and less sense to people, meaning walking into the Catholic Church and kneeling down and standing up and kneeling down and standing up and body of Christ and all that is convoluted. It's old world, and it doesn't make a lot of sense to a lot of younger folks like myself. You're looking for something more connected, connective, more energetic and less talky. Right. And less preachy and less, you know, original sin. I'm gonna die guilt. Guilt ridden that a lot of Christianity and other places have to offer. You're looking for a very positive vibe. I can do anything. I'm ready to take on the world. I'm connected to everybody.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
You're doing good.
Brian Green
Yeah, you're doing good. There is no specific God. We're all just a part of the same thing. I believe in all that. The problem is, is that when you start looking at one person as the way into that kind of connection, you are now into the same problem that you had with the original church, with the dogma, which is you, for some reason, are not good enough to be connected directly. You have to go through someone else, listen to someone else, pay someone else, watch someone else, do someone else in order to get there. And it all, at the end of the day, becomes about power and money. So these gurus, quote, unquote, these yogis, these whatever they are, they all end up consolidating power and money in the. In an effort to make. Enrich themselves and make themselves more powerful while the flock suffer. That's it. There are plenty of ways to get that connection if you do your research without ever having to pledge allegiance to anyone at all, period, sentence. I did it. I did it. And when I got involved in situations where I had to pay money for some reason, for some, you know, retreat some whatever, I never really felt great about it. But I also understood that people's time is worth something. Yeah.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
It was their business.
Brian Green
Yeah. But I refused to keep that collection plate circling around the church, if you know what I mean. Like, okay, one Time I want to go and I want to learn a specific technique for breathing or, you know, I want to connect with people or whatever it is. I understand there's time and costs and money involved in putting all these things together and this is this person's job. Okay. But like un. Like without thinking about it, just giving 20% of my paycheck every week to you. For what reason? Reason you're buying Prada and telling me about the Mercedes, brand new Mercedes you got while I'm struggling to make ends meet. But don't worry, it'll all come back to you someday. This prosperity preaching, it is just on.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
A different new age.
Brian Green
It is a schedule, multi level marketing scheme with enlightenment at the top. And who doesn't want that?
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I know.
Brian Green
I mean, honestly, it's the, it's the most age old in the world.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
And it drives me crazy. Crazy that the people who are the preachiest about this. Right. Are doing the thing that they hate most, which are promoting the thing that they hate most, which is the dogma and hierarchy of it all. It ends up being the same with just a different fucking wig on. That's it. That's it.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Well, I mean, it's like with the people we were just talking about, who would want to be president. The types of people that want to be president, Same type of thing. A lot of people are just super narcissistic.
Brian Green
Yes.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
And want the power.
Brian Green
They want the power. They want the power and the money. And I don't doubt that somewhere deep down at some point this Guru Jagat had some good intentions. I don't doubt that at all. I really don't. But when even her parents are on the documentary talking about how she ran into the arms of the devil, essentially is what is. I'm putting words in their mouth, but that's what they said, is that she turned into the thing she, she didn't want to be. Then you got to understand that like these, there's a lot of false prophets on this earth for a lot of different things. Not just new age spiritual religions. There's a lot of false prophets on this earth and they may open up your mind in some way, they may do some good for you in some way. But like pledging allegiance to them blindly never leads to good things. Name one cult story that you've heard that has turned out fantastically. Which cult has turned out fantastically? Including the cult of liberalism and Trump. Name how that's all ending terribly. It's all ending terribly. It really is. At the end of the Day. And here's the part that drives me the craziest about this. And I think about this a lot. These, like, New Age spiritual, like, you know, guru types, blah, blah, blah. Open up your mind, though. You know, the reality is only what you make it. And other people are twisting your reality and your reality is reality. Unreality is unreality in the truth isn't truth, but it's part of the facts and is that these are some of the same people who start questioning, like science, you know what I'm saying? Like questioning like hardcore scientific fact. Yeah. I've seen it all up and down my Facebook. All of a sudden everything's like the fix is in. We're all being manipulated by everybody else. It just. When you open your mind so far, Chrissy, then all the shit comes rolling in. Do you know what I'm saying? It's like opening up a trash. Eventually it's going to stink. Eventually someone's going to throw something in there. Someone's throwing dog shit in there. It's going to happen. You got to close your trash can every once in a while.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yes.
Brian Green
This Guru Jagat documentary has got me fired the fuck up, I bet, because it's so close to the bone. I know some of these characters.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
While I was watching that, I was like, brian and I need to talk about this more because, yeah, we do know a lot of.
Brian Green
Oh, my God. Yeah, there's a lineage. Yeah. That's way. That's floating really close to our universe. Right. And we've seen them and we've been there and we've done this and we've. I've been to the retreats. I've done the, the, the breath of fire, or what we call the fire breath. I've done this stuff and it works. Which is the craziest part. It really does. They talk about in this documentary apart about how some of the people that worked at this yogi center, Rama Yoga center, that this girl opened in El La, their job after class was to convince people to spend more money. Yes.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Because of the state that they were in.
Brian Green
The state that they were in. That's right. And here's the craziest part. When I went to level one training, Level one Tantra yoga training.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
The cobra.
Brian Green
The cobra breath. Right. Which works. Which works. Swear to God. It does. It's the craziest thing. I mean, it works to open up some kind of energy channel. And I don't know what it is. And I'm not claiming I know what it is. Don't follow Me, because I don't know, right? I have. I don't want any followers except for the kind on Facebook and, you know, YouTube and Instagram. When I went to this, I was there for like, I don't know, maybe the first day. I was there for like six hours, right? And the first three hours are very intense. You do a couple of exercises that are with other people that are very intense. These are. This is not the prostate massage part, by the way. You do these things that are very intense. Intense. And then you. And then for an hour you do this kind of fire breath stuff, right? This like introduction to fire breath. And then you take a break and then you go back and you do more of it. So you're in six hours of like really intense kind of breath work. Introspection, meditation, staring contests, which if you've never done that, try that with your loved one. I don't mean staring contest. I mean look into someone's eyes, look into any human being's eyes for 30 minutes. And if. If you don't cry, you are a psychopath. You should get checked out. Then you do the six hours and on the way out the door, I'll never forget that. My best friend tells me, be careful with your energy tonight. Don't run out into a crowd of people. Don't go to a party, stay away from the bars. Be careful with your energy tonight. And I go home to my so open cuz I was in some kind of state. And I go home to my fiance at the time who had never done any kind of this. Any of this stuff, right? And I instantaneously felt pricked, like a sharp prick from my fiance because she just wasn't in the same state that I was in. And she said, let's go out to dinner. Not she was being mean, she wasn't, but it was just. I'm just telling you what I experienced. And she says, let's go out to our favorite restaurant here, Houston's, right? And so we go out to Houston's and Chrissy, I will never forget. It was like sharp. It was like I was a pin cushion. And sharp needles from every direction. The sound, the lights, the noise, the music, the people around me talking about their silly lives and their silly. I could hear it all, I could sense it all, I could see it all. And it was like, you're harshing my vibe, bro. That's what it was like. It was like, mellow out dudes. Right? Yeah, it was true that. It was true. I was in an altered state of some form or fashion. And listen, I got a lot out of it. Doesn't mean everybody does, but I got a lot out of it. But if someone had asked me for 500 at that time in my life, when I was 20 something years old, asked me for $500 to keep that vibe going, I might have given it to him. I might have given it. I didn't have it, but I might have, you know, thought about how I would give it to them for sure. So these people, their whole job was to take other human beings in that state and convince them gently that the more money you spend, the longer this can last. The deeper you can, the better you feel. And for people who are vulnerable at some point in their life in some kind of lost version of themselves, isn't that what we all want? Isn't that what we all want, Chrissy?
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Well, I love one of the sayings that. One of the. Because they've got, like, some psychiatrists, psychologists, journalists, other people that are weighing in on things, and they say, you know, like, in your 20s, your 20s are kind of culty.
Brian Green
Yeah.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
You can. You're kind of looking for everything. Yeah.
Brian Green
And that's why you're. You're most powerful and most vulnerable, I think, energetically in your 20s. Right. Is because you really are open to anything and vulnerable and persuadable. As you get into your 30s and sometimes your 40s, you become a little bit more hardened. You, like, you've been through it. You've been scammed and taken, you know, thrown around the corner and taken advantage of. And you've unders. And you. You understand some things that are good and some things that you like. And, you know, you're a little bit older, a little bit wiser. Not that much, but a little bit. But you're less, I think, vulnerable to this kind of stuff because you go, I've seen this. I see how this. I see how this story plays out. Right. I've seen that documentary on Guru Jagat, and I believe it. And I'm not saying that there's no good in.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I thought the same thing as I was watching that. I thought, you know, like, whatever people get out of it, okay, great. I mean, if it's doing you good, great. But, yeah, like, when you're pleading allegiance and just, you know, blindly paying all this money.
Brian Green
Yeah.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
To attain this higher state, you don't need to be doing that.
Brian Green
Or worse, giving your children to the guru so he can have sex with them. That's like insane.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
That one lady in that, first of all, she's absolutely stunningly beautiful. Yeah, she must be in her late 40s or something at this point. She is stunningly beautiful. Like, and I don't mean like, oh, she's super hot. I want to fuck her. That's not what I mean. I mean like as a physical feature, as a physical creature.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
She's even wearing like the head, the turban. Yeah.
Brian Green
And her eyes are like piercing.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Her skin is gorgeous.
Brian Green
Oh, my God. It's so. It's so fucked up with this. Not Guru Jagat, the girl who started Rama, but her teacher or her, you know, the guru who started all of this Yogi Bajran. He sexually assaulted this girl from the time that she was, quote, unquote, an adult, which they don't say the actual age, but I'm assuming 16 is what I'm assuming.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
16, something like that.
Brian Green
It was very young, for years and years and years. And his promise the entire time was, you will financially and spiritually reap the rewards when I die. And to a small amount of his credit, he did that. He gave 50% of this hundred million dollar organization to these 15 yogi tea. Yogi Tea, which I will never purchase.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Again in my life.
Brian Green
I drink it all the time.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Me too.
Brian Green
Yogi Tea is. Was started by this guy back in the 70s. You drink it everywhere. It's in restaurants, it's in Whole Foods, it's at Publix, it's at Kroger. You can buy it on Amazon.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
It's called Yogi Yogi Tea. Of course you want to drink the Yogi Tea.
Brian Green
This dude was evil. Now part of me goes, I'm never going to buy that again. And then the other part of knows that 50% of the profits of this company go to these 16 women who were.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
So we'll see. We'll see how that played out. Because apparently there was a lot of court drama that went on for like 20 years.
Brian Green
Oh, there was.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I don't know that that's actually the case anymore.
Brian Green
I'm not buying any Yogi Tea until I figure out the end of this. Hurry up HBO and throw that out. What nights that come out Mondays, what nights do we get a new episode of? Tuesday. When you're listening to that, it's Monday as we're recording this. God bless America. I hope that comes out today. Anyway, Brian's being really preachy today.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
It's your. It's the cobra in you.
Brian Green
It's the cobra breath. I'll teach it to you when we get up.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Okay.
Brian Green
I spent thousands of dollars, but I'll teach it to you. Hey, listen, I got a lot out of it. I do have to say, I got a lot out of it.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
What helps?
Brian Green
Yes, but I didn't go following people around for the next 10 years handing him my paycheck. I mean, some people handed their company to this guy. Yeah, they like signed over their company to this dude.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
Oh, man. Wow. Fuck. President of the United States. I want to be a yogi Goo Guru Brian. Guru bg.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
Guru Brian.
Brian Green
It's gonna be Guru bg. Guru bg.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
That's a good one.
Brian Green
If you want to be a part of my cult, Visit the website tcbpodcast.com and as Chrissy pointed out, no, our live shows did not happen two months ago. Good catch there. I can't believe our website company missed that one. But actually I can believe our website company catch that one. Yeah, that's what happens when you're the. When you're their least paying client. Yeah, they don't pay attention. All right, tcbpodcast.com more information about the show. All the audio, all the video right there from one location. TCB podcast.com you can also get your free sticker by hitting the contact us button. I want my free sticker on the drop down menu. Give us your address and await. It will go. And pretty soon, pretty soon, Chrissy, we'll have all episodes of the commercial break. Every single episode of the commercial break will be edited and for your viewing pleasure on the website and YouTube.com thecommercial break. I'm thinking about dropping the Dr. Phil thing because fuck Dr. Phil.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
That's all I got. Right? But the voice is funny.
Brian Green
The voice is funny. All right, I'll give it a pass. I'll give a pass on the voice. Anyway, so subscribe to the YouTube channel so you can catch all episodes of the commercial break on there at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and 212-4333. TCB 212-433-3822. Let us know your red flags and if you'll watch us on Twitch, we, sir, would appreciate it. Okay, Chrissy, guess that that's all I can do for today.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I think so.
Brian Green
But I love you.
Kristen Joy Hoadley
I love you.
Brian Green
Best to you, Best to you and best to you out there on the podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say goodbye. The holidays are all about sharing with family. Meals, couches, stories, Grandma's secret pecan pie recipe. And now you can also share a cart with Instacart's family carts, everyone can add what they want to one group cart from wherever they are so you don't have to go from room to room to find out who wants cranberry sauce or who should get mini marshmallows for the yams or collecting votes for sugar cookies versus shortbread. Just share a cart and then share the meals and the moments. Download the Instacart app and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes plus enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply when it comes to hiring, don't search for great talent Match with them thanks to Indeed. Indeed is your matching and hiring platform with over 350 million global monthly visitors, according to Indigenous Data, and a matching engine that helps you find qualified candidates fast. And Indeed doesn't just help you hire faster. 93% of employers agree Indeed delivers the highest quality matches compared to other job sites, according to a recent Indeed survey, leveraging over 140 million qualifications and preferences every day. Indeed's matching engine is constantly learning from your preferences, so the more you use Indeed, the better it gets. Join more than 3.5 million businesses worldwide that use Indeed to hire great talent fast. Just go to indeed.com listen right now and listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit. To get your jobs more visibility, go to indeed.com listen and tell them you heard about them from this podcast. Terms and conditions apply. SA I have nothing.
Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break – Episode: International Luuuv!
Hosts: Bryan Green & Kristen Joy Hoadley (Chrissy)
Published By: Commercial Break LLC
In this episode of The Commercial Break titled "International Luuuv!", co-hosts Bryan Green and Kristen Joy Hoadley dive deep into a blend of personal anecdotes, pop culture discussions, and societal observations. Skipping the usual advertisements, intros, and outros, the episode focuses on the complexities of modern relationships, gender dynamics in leadership, and critiques of new age spirituality, all delivered with their signature improv-comedy flair.
Meeting Astrid: A 90 Day Fiance-Inspired Story
Bryan shares a heartfelt and humorous recount of his own relationship journey with Astrid, mirroring the tumultuous narratives often seen on reality shows like 90 Day Fiance. He elaborates on the challenges faced when Astrid's family, especially her mother, disapproved of him due to his use of a wheelchair.
The hosts discuss the intricacies of maintaining a relationship that bridges cultural and physical differences, highlighting the struggles and eventual mutual understanding that defines many real-life romances.
Critique of Current Political Leadership
Bryan passionately argues for the necessity of female leadership in the United States, critiquing the longstanding male dominance in political spheres. He posits that women could bring fresh perspectives and effective governance, contrasting drastically with current leadership trends.
Kristen’s Perspective
Kristen echoes Bryan's sentiments, emphasizing the symbolic and practical importance of having more women in positions of power. They lament the absence of a female president despite progress in other areas, underscoring societal resistance to female leadership.
Critique of Guru Jagat and New Age Practices
The hosts delve into a critical analysis of new age spiritual movements, specifically discussing Guru Jagat and the problematic aspects of his teachings and practices. They draw parallels between these movements and historical cults, highlighting issues of financial exploitation and abuse of power.
Personal Experiences with Spiritual Practices
Bryan recounts his own experiences with Kundalini Yoga and intensive breathwork, discussing both the positive effects and the potential for manipulation within such practices. He underscores the importance of maintaining skepticism and personal autonomy when engaging with spiritual teachings.
Analysis of 90 Day Fiance
Bryan and Kristen critique the sensationalism of reality TV shows like 90 Day Fiance, arguing that these platforms exploit personal relationships for entertainment value. They discuss the unrealistic expectations and pressures placed on participants, drawing from Bryan's own relationship experiences.
Comparison to Personal Relationships
The conversation transitions into comparing their own relationship dynamics with the often exaggerated portrayals on reality TV, emphasizing authenticity over manufactured drama.
Listener Interaction
Bryan invites listeners to engage by sharing their subtle red flags in relationships, aiming to incorporate these insights into future episodes. He also gauges interest in potentially live-streaming episodes via Twitch to foster real-time interaction with the audience.
The episode wraps up with a blend of humor and heartfelt reflections, reinforcing the hosts' commitment to providing a "real life commercial break" from everyday drama. Bryan and Kristen emphasize the importance of authentic connections, both in personal relationships and in their engagement with listeners.
Authentic Relationships: The hosts emphasize the importance of genuine connections, drawing from personal experiences that highlight both challenges and triumphs.
Gender and Leadership: A strong advocacy for increased female representation in political leadership, arguing that it could lead to more effective governance.
Critical View on Spiritual Movements: A cautionary stance on new age spiritual practices, warning against the potential for exploitation and abuse within such movements.
Reality TV Critique: An analysis of the impact of reality TV on personal relationships and societal expectations, advocating for more authenticity over manufactured drama.
Engagement with Listeners: Active invitation for audience participation to shape future content, reflecting the hosts' commitment to community interaction.
For those who haven't listened to this episode, International Luuuv! offers a blend of humor, personal stories, and insightful commentary on contemporary issues, making it a compelling listen for fans of comedy, relationship dynamics, and societal critiques.