Is Thing On?!

Summary

The Commercial Break – Episode: “Is Thing On?!” (May 14, 2026)

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break brings listeners a blend of Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley’s signature off-the-cuff comedy, self-aware banter, pop culture riffs, streaming recaps, and personal misadventures. Titled “Is Thing On?!”, the episode kicks off with a classic TCB technical snafu – the hosts realize mid-recording that they hadn’t turned on their microphones for a livestream audience. This honest, chaotic entry point leads to irreverent discussion on everything from dangerous documentaries to bizarre New York hotel experiences and reality TV nostalgia. As always, Bryan and Krissy keep things loose, self-deprecating, and hilariously unfiltered.

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Key Discussions & Highlights

1. Technical Snafu: “Is Thing On?!”

• Timestamps: [00:09–02:00], [21:53–22:37], [24:12–26:06]
• Summary: The episode’s title comes from the accidental 20+ minutes of livestream with no audio. The hosts and their audience roll with the punches, joking about miming, dead air, and “the silent film era of podcasting.”
• Notable Quotes:
  • “Oh my gosh. You guys can't hear us out there in the streaming world because we have decided not to turn on the microphone.” – Bryan [00:13]
  • “Brian can get a side job as a mime.” – Chris [00:45]
  • “At least you'll be able to hear the next two seconds.” – Chris [22:29]
  • “That is the funniest shit… I don't think that's a credit to us. I think it's a credit to them having fun in the chat.” – Bryan [25:23]

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2. HBO True Story Deep Dives

“The Dark Wizard” Docuseries on Dean Potter

• Timestamps: [02:01–10:26]; [24:34–26:06]
• Content: Bryan recounts his obsession with “The Dark Wizard,” an HBO docuseries about legendary (and doomed) climber Dean Potter. He describes the man’s adrenaline-fueled feats, dark psychology, and tragic end in a wingsuit accident.
• Highlights:
  • Bryan urges listeners to watch all episodes, not just the finale.
  • Explores Potter’s repeating nightmares and thrill-seeking nature.
  • “The last five minutes is quite simply the most beautiful, incredible, jaw dropping 5 minutes of any television show I have ever seen.” – Bryan [05:47]
  • “This is a story about fucking living. And this guy was doing it so incredibly dangerously but so beautifully.” – Bryan [08:05]
  • Raises questions about living on the edge, depression, and fractured relationships.

Richard Gadd’s “Half Man”

• Timestamps: [10:28–13:13]
• Content: Bryan describes Richard Gadd’s new HBO show, following Gadd’s success with “Baby Reindeer.” The hosts discuss its twisted themes—blending timelines, dark humor, family drama, and unsettling psychological territory.
• Highlights:
  • “Richard Gad is one fucked up motherfucker.” – Bryan [10:43]
  • “I thought he was a comedian.” – Chris [12:42]
  • Gadd’s move from comedian to “world’s most depressing human being with weird dark thoughts about murder and sex… Man, woman, animal.” – Bryan [12:46]
  • Commentary on the appeal (and frustration) of HBO’s week-to-week episode drops.

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3. New York Anecdotes & Hotel Horror Stories

NYC Street Encounters

• Timestamps: [14:18–19:27]
• Content: Bryan shares awkward city moments, like being mistaken for a threat while walking behind someone in Soho, and being accosted by street fundraisers using aggressive flattery.
• Highlights:
  • “She’s like, ‘Hey, you, Mr. Handsome. Look at you. You look suave.’... I was like, well, thank you, what do you want?” – Bryan [17:10]
  • Reflections on urban paranoia and the “melting pot” of New York streets.

The Boutique Hotel from Hell

• Timestamps: [26:06–42:55]
• Content: Bryan’s vivid, comic recounting of booking a “boutique” hotel in NYC only to discover a brothel/hostel hybrid filled with mismatched carpets, black lights, and weed smoke. The clincher: seeing a roach crawl across his shoe.
• Highlights:
  • “It is nothing short of the worst hotel I have ever been in.” – Bryan [31:36]
  • “I sit in the chair. And as I’m sitting in the chair, a big spring pops up… and a roach crawling across my shoe.” – Bryan [39:23–39:44]
  • Eventually, he switches to a better room, only to accidentally shower for 50 minutes with the curtains open to the NYC skyline, possibly giving someone a show.
  • “…I'm in the shower looking at him and he's in his bed looking at me.” – Bryan [54:20]

The Hotel with Window-Shower Exhibitionism

• Timestamps: [51:01–56:56]
• Content: Describes the peculiar bathroom setup in his new hotel, leading to an unintentional exhibitionist moment.
• Highlight:
  • “So I look out the window and I can see clear across into somebody else's condo in their bedroom. And there's a dude I could see laying in his bed looking out his window like this. So, now, I'm in the shower looking at him and he's in his bed looking at me.” – Bryan [54:20]

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4. Pop Culture & True Crime Tangents

Murdoch Murder Conviction Overturned

• Timestamps: [45:45–50:57]
• Content: Krissy “breaking news”—the Murdoch murder conviction is overturned due to jury tampering by a court clerk. The hosts discuss legal technicalities and reiterate the spectacle of the high-profile case.
• Highlights:
  • “The county clerk was apparently telling the jurors that Murdoch was guilty…” – Bryan [45:57]
  • “I think by any account… Alec was guilty. So there you go.” – Bryan [47:22]
  • Discussion includes opioid addiction, small town corruption, and referencing the initial boat accident that started the Murdoch saga.

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5. Reality TV Nostalgia & 'The Real World' Origins

• Timestamps: [56:55–62:18]
• Content: Bryan riffs on how his NYC office is near the original “Real World” building. He reminisces about his failed “Real World” audition, early reality TV, and the cultural impact of unscripted television.
• Highlights:
  • “On the street where I work… is the original Real World building.” – Bryan [60:16]
  • “It was the first reality show… never a television show that just let people live together and figure it out.” – Bryan [60:31]
  • Adds fun anecdotes about drunk auditioning and dorm-room aspirations.

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6. Observations on Fame, Family, and Alec Baldwin

• Timestamps: [62:18–64:32]
• Content: Krissy and Bryan comment on Alec and Hilaria Baldwin, fame, and the surreal experience of celebrity parents in NYC.
• Highlight:
  • “Alec looks old... He looks out of it. Like, I saw him in person.” – Bryan [62:47]

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7. Meta-Commentary and Running Gags

• Throughout:
  • Self-deprecatory jabs about the podcast’s quality, DIY production, and irrelevance (“the Cheesecake Factory of comedy podcasts”).
  • A listener-submitted parody song (“TCB is Terrible”) poking fun at the show’s rambling style [43:54–45:45].
  • Frequent returns to the “mute” joke and running commentary on whether anyone is listening, and how little “direction” they seem to have.

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Episode Standout Quotes

• “This is a story about fucking living. And this guy was doing it so incredibly dangerously but so beautifully that I only wish I had half a fucking… I wish I had one quarter of a testicle of Dean.” – Bryan [08:05]
• “Your dick will be in the dirt. Fucking crazy.” – Bryan, hyping Dark Wizard [06:07]
• “Richard Gad is one fucked up motherfucker… He’s the world’s most depressing human being with weird dark thoughts about murder and sex with everybody. And I mean, man, woman, animal, it doesn’t matter.” – Bryan [10:43, 12:46]
• “We haven't made it to the talkies yet here on the podcast. We're still in our silent film days. We're gonna do black and white tomorrow.” – Bryan [25:29]
• “I don't think that's a credit to us. I think it's a credit to them having fun in the chat… We've not even made it to the talkies yet.” – Bryan [25:23]
• "I just got to make it two nights and then I can come back next week in a different hotel. Now. Pack it all up. I leave, right?” – Bryan (on finally bailing from hotel nightmare) [39:48]
• “Listen, I gotta imagine it is probably a hobby to a lot of these people who have been living in New York for a long time… all you’re doing all night long is just checking out what everybody else is doing.” – Bryan (accidental shower peep show) [55:59]

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Major Timestamps

• 00:09–02:00: Sound/mute snafu and intro riff
• 02:01–10:28: “The Dark Wizard” docuseries breakdown
• 10:28–13:13: Richard Gad’s “Half Man” & HBO release strategies
• 14:18–19:27: NYC walking, street fundraisers, urban paranoia
• 26:06–42:55: Boutique hotel horror stories
• 45:45–50:57: Murdoch legal case and true crime riff
• 56:55–62:18: Real World nostalgia and podcast full-circle moment

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Tone, Style & Audience Takeaway

This episode exemplifies TCB’s chaotic, improvisational spirit—mixing pop culture commentary with offbeat personal stories and moments of pure absurdity. The hosts’ willingness to mock their own missteps, lack of polish, and the very nature of podcasting itself makes for a refreshing, low-stakes listening experience that feels like eavesdropping on two real-life friends riffing, venting, and inviting listeners to enjoy the mess. For fans and new listeners alike, “Is Thing On?!” is a reminder: it’s not about the destination—it’s about the shenanigans along the way.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the commercial break. All right, so if I can find the commercials, let's take a break and then we'll be back very shortly. Oh, my gosh. You guys can't hear us out there in the streaming world because we have decided not to turn on the microphone. Hey, everybody. Hi. Okay. All right. Well, luckily on the podcast version, you can hear us, but I'm so sorry. I bet the chat is all. We can't hear you.

[Chris Joy]

We didn't even have the.

[Brian Green]

Brian can get a side job as a mime. The next episode of the commercial break starts. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris Joy. Holy. Best to you, Chris.

[Chris Joy]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Uni universe. Like the uni tars.

[Chris Joy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Have you.

[Chris Joy]

I love a good uni tard.

[Brian Green]

Have you worn a unitard?

[Chris Joy]

Not in a while.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, well, you were a body, though. Okay. Bodysuit. Yeah, I've seen those body suits.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. What's going on with you and Jeff in that house lately? Oh, still keeping the love alive over there? Yes, we are around it getting dressed up and tickling his tape.

[Chris Joy]

I love a good dress up.

[Brian Green]

I love it. I love to think about it. What would Henry Fonda have to say about that?

[Chris Joy]

Oh, Henry Fonda.

[Brian Green]

Oh, crazy.

[Chris Joy]

Loving it.

[Brian Green]

Oh, crazy. Send me pictures. I love pictures. Send me pictures and I'll give you downloads.

[Chris Joy]

Jeff's wearing a unitard, in fact.

[Brian Green]

Oh,

[Chris Joy]

I'm kidding, but that would be funny.

[Brian Green]

I just got a mom. Speaking of freaky sex. Next lives, have you seen the new Richard Gad show? No, I have two shows to talk to you about. Both of them are hbo. These both of them are now must watch.

[Chris Joy]

Really? Because I'm on hbo, flipping around there all the time. What do you got? Dark wizard, the gardening show was good with Zach Gallic Banakis.

[Brian Green]

Okay, I want to get into that. I'm watching that.

[Chris Joy]

Cute. By the way.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Have you seen the dark wizard about. What's his name?

[Chris Joy]

I have it saved.

[Brian Green]

Okay, I'm just gonna tell you this. If you want to watch the show, then tune out just for a second. I'm not going to give it all away. Listen, there's nothing to give away. His story is very public. Dean died. Dean dies. It's the story of Dean. Dean is a very. Is one of the guys who kind of pioneered the wingsuit flying. But before that, he was very much a Famous climber. He was one of the first free solo climbers. He was one of the guys who tried. At least he free soloed part of El Cap. He also was one of these high line guys that would start highlining without a rope attached to him. Just the craziest fucking shit you could ever imagine. Now this is the part where if you want to watch, maybe just tune out like fast forward two minutes. Okay, I'll stop and I'll make sure this is done in two minutes. If Brian can ever finish a sentence in two minutes.

[Chris Joy]

No, that's not possible.

[Brian Green]

Dean always had. He. He. He had a very sparkling personality that many people were attracted to, but he also had a very dark side. He was very depressed. He had suffered since. Since he was a child with a lot of anxiety and really terrible nightmares. And he kept. He notoriously kept journals and voice notes. He was filmed doing everything since he was like 20 years old that he always had a camera crew around because he was making documentaries and movies that he would then sell. Right. Or that his sponsors would want or whatever. That's the way these guys make money. They go out there, they film these crazy, you know, clim a rock and then they make it into a movie or as part of movie, whatever.

[Chris Joy]

Sure.

[Brian Green]

That's how they live. And there's a very well defined network of people in Yosemite that are climbers that are attached to the reis of the world.

[Chris Joy]

Right?

[Brian Green]

Right. Yeah. This is like. It's a. It's one big family out there. And Dean always had these like very dark visions about flying. That was. It always haunted him and. But it was clear that what haunted him also made him feel alive. So he would go out there and he would do this crazy shit. He's certainly not a guy like me afraid of heights. This guy was the opposite of afraid of heights. I think he was afraid of it, but it made him feel alive. Testing those limits.

[Chris Joy]

Well, not even afraid of death. I guess you have to.

[Brian Green]

I think he was very much afraid of death. Right. But I think he wanted to see how far he could push it. It made him feel alive. And I believe, even though this is not. This is implied and not said by any of the friends or family that's interviewed, that Dean felt most alive and normal when he was jacked up on adrenaline and close to death. Right. But he also felt close to these wicked nightmares that he was having that always included ravens and they always included him falling or flying. And then he would wake up right before he hit the ground. A nightmare. We all had, right? We've all had this nightmare, but Dean had it frequently. It was a repeating nightmare. The last. So there's four episodes and I watched the last episode while I was in New York. The last five minutes of this show, first of all, the entire four hours is fantastic. But the last five minutes is quite simply the most beautiful, incredible, jaw dropping 5 minutes of any television show I have ever seen.

[Chris Joy]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

Ever, ever seen. And it spoil it 100% real. Like, I went and read up on this last five minutes because I was like, there's no way that this is real. And it is real. And wait until you see it. You will. Your dick will be in the dirt. Fucking crazy.

[Chris Joy]

Okay. You have sold it.

[Brian Green]

Okay. But in the last five minutes also includes the footage that has never been shown of Dean's last flight. But you don't worry, it doesn't get gory. It's because he had the camera. He usually was flying with a camera attached to his helmet. Helmet. He was filming the other guy he was flying with. Both two people died in the same accident. They were both flying together and they were trying to shoot this thing called the Gap, the V Gap, right?

[Chris Joy]

So they were in like a flying, flying suit, okay?

[Brian Green]

So they jump off and they were trying to get in. They were doing what's called proximity flying, which we've all seen on fucking Instagram, which. Where they. They go way too close to the rocks, way too close to trees, way too close to the ground. And that's just that some people do that apparently in this sport, and some people are 100% opposed to it because it's so fucking dangerous. You're going 180 miles per hour. Any one inch off and you're dead. And one out of five of those wingsuit climbers that do proximity diving, those wingsuit flyers, they die. They're dead. Right? It's a. It's like the most dangerous sport in the world. And Dean was opposed to it. Opposed to it. Opposed to it. And then one guy that he really liked jumping was. Started getting into it and he was just like, notoriously, he had this dark, competitive side to him. He didn't want anybody to outshine him. He wanted to do it first. He wanted to be the best. He didn't want to be old. He didn't want to be, you know, out of his prime. And just one night doing nothing in particular, they said, let's go jump this jump we've done a million times. They could go left normal flying. They could go right proximity flying. And they Went right. And he tried to hit. He tried to go through the V. And obviously that did not work out for him, nor did it work out for the guy he was flying with. They both died in the same accident. Okay, so you. Everybody knows that part about Dean's life or you do, if you've ever paid attention to Dean's life. And I've seen the 60 Minutes special.

[Chris Joy]

I didn't know anything about Dean.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so now you must be convinced to go watch this. But you have to watch it from the beginning. Promise me that. Okay, you little. Who want to cheat, don't go to the last episode and watch the last five minutes. Watch the entire thing because it's a beautiful story about how life is complicated and it's not easy. And sometimes you're a hero and sometimes you're a zero. And sometimes you don't have chance. The. The. You miss chances to mend fences. Dean was also. Because he was such a dark person, sometimes he excommunicated people's from his life. He made. He had problems with people in his life that he never came back. And like, it never came full circle. And those people are now tormented by the fact that they love Dean so much, but he could be such a prick. And he never said he was sorry, and they never said they're sorry. This is a story about fucking living. And this guy was doing it so incredibly dangerously but so beautifully that I only wish I had half a fucking. I wish I had one quarter of a testicle of Dean. I swear to God I do. But I'm not going to do that.

[Chris Joy]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Brian Green]

I'm just going to continue to wonder what would have happened had I get my Dick Tracy collection. It's as close as. That's as close to flying near the sun as I got. Okay, watch it.

[Chris Joy]

Okay. The Dark Wizard.

[Brian Green]

I've seen it.

[Chris Joy]

Has been saved. So I will.

[Brian Green]

You and Jeff should both watch it together. Get in front of the queue, smoke a little weed. Watch it. It'll all make sense to you.

[Chris Joy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

All right. Number two.

[Chris Joy]

Everything is making sense.

[Brian Green]

Everything is making. Dean, you're making sense to me now.

[Chris Joy]

Eyes like a Cheshire cat.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Talk to me, Dean, the Dark wizard. And do your sweetly twirly high wind stunts. There's just scenes in this movie too where they. I mean, they take footage from when he was doing these things and they have. Because he was filmed so often by so many people, they have moments that are unseen, being told in. In. In ways that have a lot of context. Now because the people who are actually filming it or there with him can talk about it. And he just pushed the limit so much and he escaped death so much that this, the ending is not a surprise. It's just a surprise to nobody, right? Even if you Numbers game. It's a numbers game. And he, he cheated death a lot. And watch this movie and you're going to find out at least about five of them every episode. There you like, there's some nail biting shit where you're like, oh, Dean, don't do it.

[Chris Joy]

Okay, okay, I can't wait to see it now.

[Brian Green]

Okay, number two, HBO thing that I just started watching. I'm the through, I'm almost through. Episode number two is Richard Gad's new show, Half Man.

[Chris Joy]

Oh, Half Man. I saw that on the queue as well. But what is that?

[Brian Green]

Holy shit. Richard Gad is one fucked up motherfucker. I mean, we all saw Baby Reindeer, right? We talked about him when it was out.

[Chris Joy]

Oh, that's him.

[Brian Green]

That's him. That's Richard Gad. Okay, so he runs right from Baby Reindeer, arguably one of the most fucked up television shows. Yeah, that was in a very long time. But so good, so good. So well done. And most of it is true is the weirdest part about it. He goes right from that to writing this show, Half man, about two half brothers. Or at least that's. At least that's where we're at right now. Two half brothers. And it's kind of here and now back then kind of story. So there's two separate sets of actors playing these. The kids and then the adults. And so far all I know is it's the wedding day for one of the. And there's this. There's a. There's a line in the movie, and I think this describes the movie perfectly. And there's a girl, there's two girls and there's, you know, they're younger and they're trying to have sex with these two girls or get with these two girls. And they beat each other up. And each girl is now taking care of their respective other one, you know, dab giving them ice and dabbing their noses. They're all bloody. And the one girl says to the kind of more dorky guy, I guess is the best way to say it, she says, you guys are so different. One of you needs a head and the other one needs a body. Right? Yeah. Okay, so that's like the story of this.

[Chris Joy]

Is it set like in modern times?

[Brian Green]

Set in the. What I imagine is the 80s, 90s okay. And then set in modern times, set today. And then back when they were teenagers and in their 20s and wow. Just the first like hour and 45 minutes, Richard Gad has done it again. He has managed to put something together. Totally fucking twisted. So twisted that it's hard to imagine what's going through this guy's head on a daily basis.

[Chris Joy]

I thought he was a comedian.

[Brian Green]

Not anymore.

[Chris Joy]

Isn't that the Baby Ranger? Isn't he a comedian in there?

[Brian Green]

Yes, but now he's the world's most depressing human being with weird dark thoughts about murder and sex with everybody. And I mean, man, woman, animal, it doesn't matter. It's a weird combination of things that are going on in this television show. And we're only an hour and a half into what I think is an eight, eight hour show. It's like, what can come next?

[Chris Joy]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

Now I just don't understand. And I'm already engrossed at it. I'm like, oh my God, this is so good. This is so good.

[Chris Joy]

Are they all, all the episodes out or you have to wait.

[Brian Green]

Nah, fuck HBO in that way. I mean, fuck HBO in that way. But then part of me thinks they're doing the right thing because it's slowing us all down a little bit. It's allowing us to take a breath in between each other.

[Sam]

It is.

[Chris Joy]

But now I'm hacking that because I'm like, well, I'll just wait until it all comes out.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I don't think you're. I don't think you're abnormal in that way. I think a lot of people do look at television that way. Now let me record it all. I'll watch it in one sitting. But I'm trying to follow along with the appointment television.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah, some, some things I, I end up watching one each week.

[Brian Green]

Like, I went to New York four weeks in a row. So I watched the Dark wizard each, each night that. I mean, each time I would fly into New York and get to my hotel, I would say, okay, let me pop on another episode of the Dark Wizard. And so that worked out well for me. And so now it's half, half, half man, which is, I don't know, I don't know, just a weird. Now I look at people on the street in a different way. I'm like, are you a half man? My half man?

[Chris Joy]

I often think about the fact that there's a lot of people that are. There's a lot of people in this world and a lot of them are unwell. A lot of Them and we're walking amongst them.

[Brian Green]

All of us are all mixed together in this big schm mortgage board called life. And I'm a little. I also get concerned like there's some people when I'm, you know, New York is so many people.

[Chris Joy]

Oh yeah. It's a melting pot.

[Brian Green]

I was walking the other day, it's 3pm in Soho, New York. Okay. Probably the least intimidating place you could be in New York. Right. There's always a lot of people everywhere in that damn city. But soho is not the South Bronx. Do you know what I'm saying? It's not that.

[Chris Joy]

It's a different vibe.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. It's not what you see in movies of the gritty New York and people on the street that want to kill you. And you know, this is not a place where you typically have to turn around and pay attention to what's going on behind you. You can just walk down the street with your earphones in, listening to music. And generally people are there. I mean, I've seen Drew Barrymore and Alec Baldwin on the street. I don't think they're walking around the street, famous as they are, if they felt their lives were threatened or they were going to get their wallets beat up or something like that. It's just a non to me, it's a non intimidating place to be. So I'm walking down the street and you're always walking behind somebody. Always walking behind somebody. That's New York. And I'm walking. And sometimes you're walking faster than somebody you move into. Sometimes you're walking slower than somebody and they pass you. And then sometimes you're just walking at the same pace as somebody. So there's a girl in front of me, she's probably 20ft in front of me, and I'm walking the same pace as her. That just happens to be what's happening. Right. And I'm not paying any attention to this girl. But then I notice she starts looking back at me. Like, looking back, looking back, looking back. She must have done five takes. And then all of a sudden she starts running across the street. Wow. And then she continues to walk the same way. There's only one way to interpret that.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

She wasn't looking for cars, she was looking at me. I think she felt like I was following her.

[Chris Joy]

Right.

[Brian Green]

I just wanted to pull her over and I wanted to run over and grab her and be like, I'm not following you. But I felt like that was probably not the case.

[Chris Joy]

That would make it worse.

[Brian Green]

That's right. Yeah.

[Chris Joy]

Grabbing her.

[Brian Green]

I felt like grabbing her was not the right idea.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah, I mean, maybe you're just more hyper aware being a woman trying to,

[Brian Green]

you know, hey, listen, I. I don't falter. I'm a little weird. I look a little weird. When I'm in New York, I clearly look out of place. I was walking down the street the other day and there's a table set up and there's three gregarious young people collecting money for whatever, Autism awareness or whatever. Yeah. And so I'm walking, I have my headset in, but I can see the big sign in the table and they're on a very busy intersection. And all of the sudden, some young girl just jumps in front of me. She's like. All of a sudden she's just there and she's like, hey, you, Mr. Handsome. Look at you. You look suave. And I was like, well, thank you, I appreciate that. She's like, no, seriously, you're. You're a good look. You're a good looking guy. You dress well. And I was like, well, thank you. What do you want?

[Chris Joy]

Yes, what are you selling?

[Brian Green]

You want. And immediately she was hitting me up for money for autism awareness. So I gave her some money, of course, but then she's like, she, you know, great. And I go, but listen, I do not have a lot of time. True story. I do not have a lot of time. So let me tap my credit card and let me.

[Chris Joy]

Go ahead.

[Brian Green]

Let's go ahead. Yeah, let's skip to the end. I don't need the whole sales pitch. I don't want to put my email in four places. I don't want to do that. Just. And she's like, okay, great, no problem. She's like, I just have to get your signature here that, you know. And she's like, you know, do you want to read some information about this and see? You want to see our 501C3? Like, she's trying to, like, make me feel better. Yeah. I said, no, I don't. At this point, I don't care if you're collecting money for dinner. You complimented me when. Let me go. Let's not make this any more miserable than it has to be. Right. I wanted to end on a high note, like, hey, handsome. And then I could just go, yeah, thanks.

[Chris Joy]

Yes, here's the bunny.

[Brian Green]

That's not what happened. That's right. So I said, okay, you know, but plus, I believe that it was for a good cause. The way she was explaining it there. They help get kids who have severe autism into schools that are private, that can handle these children in a way that, like, the worst of cases. Right? And there's private schools, but they cost money. And so this is what they do. They help them. Okay, so she's doing this, and then she's like, okay, there's three packages. You tell me which one you want. She's like, there's the $100 package, the $250 package, and the thousand dollar package.

[Chris Joy]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

And I was like, is there a $10 package? Really? You're starting at a hundred dollars? I said, listen, I go, love the autism awareness thing. I think 50 is what is as high as I'm willing to go.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

And she's like, nope, totally understand.

[Chris Joy]

Especially for, like, an on the spot.

[Brian Green]

I know. And I don't know you and know me, and I'm not, like, I'm not. This isn't a gala. I'm not. I don't win anything. There's no chance of me getting a trip somewhere like this. You know, it's not an auction. So how about 50 bucks? Okay. Okay. Okay. You know, and then she types it in and she goes, why don't we edge that up to 75? And I go. I go, why don't you back it down to 50?

[Chris Joy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Now I'm gonna fight with a girl. Like, okay, can we leave it alone there? Can we do 50 and be grateful? You know, you're. You have three people costing every person in this entire town about raising money. I'm sure they must have raised a lot, because as I was listening to the other two people, a guy and another girl, they were. They had the same. They were all doing the same thing.

[Chris Joy]

Right?

[Brian Green]

Hey, handsome. Hey, beautiful. Hey, honey. What's going on, sunshine? Wow, you look good today. Nice sunglasses. I love your purse. Right? They were all.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah, they've all got the tactics.

[Brian Green]

They've all got the tactics.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chris Joy]

There's a lot of people that are doing that down on the belt line.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really?

[Chris Joy]

They got me.

[Brian Green]

They got you.

[Chris Joy]

They got me for something like five years ago, and I'm still donating.

[Brian Green]

Don't you hate it?

[Chris Joy]

But it's for a good cause.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, okay. It's for a good cause. But, you know, you're still donating. They're still taking five bucks a month. Yeah, Yeah. I did that once for elephants in Africa.

[Chris Joy]

Right.

[Brian Green]

I must have got. I must have lost, like, $30,000 to the elephants. I swear to God. I have. And I did it with, like, St. Jude's which I. 100% believe in. But there was a couple months or years there when I probably could use the $25 a month. You know what I'm saying? But for the life of me, could not figure out how to get out of it. I just couldn't. And every year, they send me a stamp book, and I'm like, okay, whatever.

[Chris Joy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

You know, that's the way it is.

[Chris Joy]

Address things.

[Brian Green]

That's. Yeah, that's right. All right, lots of more fun and shenanigans coming up. Chrissy and I are going to do two episodes today, so if you're. You know, if you're.

[Chris Joy]

Strap in.

[Brian Green]

If you strap in and spend the afternoon with us, and then I don't know if we'll get to it today or we'll get to it tomorrow, but. And we won't get to it on this episode. What I'm saying is today streaming or tomorrow, there is a new Frankie.

[Chris Joy]

Wow. I mean, Pennies from heaven, Christmas in May.

[Brian Green]

Pennies from heaven, Christmas in May. That's right. All right, so if I can find the commercials, let's take a break, and then we'll be back very shortly. Oh, my gosh. You guys can't hear us out there in the streaming world because we have decided not to turn on the microphones. Hey, everybody. Hi. Okay. All right. Well, luckily, on the podcast version, you can hear us, but I'm so sorry. I bet the chat is all. We can't hear you.

[Chris Joy]

We didn't even have the.

[Brian Green]

Brian can get a side job as a mime. You guys miss my whole rant about Dark Wizard. Watch Dark wizard on hbo.

[Chris Joy]

That's the way I got.

[Brian Green]

That is the funniest thing I've ever heard. I'm so sorry, guys. I'm so sorry. You've been listening. You've been watching for 20 minutes with no sound.

[Chris Joy]

That's dedication.

[Brian Green]

I love you guys. I love every one of you. God bless you. You're beautiful. All right, well, right in time for us to take a break.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah. At least you'll be able to hear the next two seconds.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. That is the funniest shit.

[Chris Joy]

Frankenstein, a job as a mod.

[Brian Green]

I know. Probably not funny to the. Probably not funny to the 12 people who have been sitting there watching us go.

[Chris Joy]

Were they trying. I would love it if they were trying to interpret what we were saying.

[Brian Green]

I don't know.

[Chris Joy]

Just making up what we were maybe saying.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you what. We'll read through it. When we'll get back, we'll go backwards to go forward all right, stay with us. The sound is now on. Stay with us. We'll be back. Well, you got to put that on my list of things to remember. Sound. Oh, my God. All right, we'll be back.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail]. want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now. I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God, you guys are.

[Chris Joy]

We are eating some of. They probably won't notice until the first break.

[Brian Green]

They probably won't notice until the first break. Yep, we didn't notice until the first break. There you go. And so Brian goes, oh, why is that big mute sign on which I probably should have noticed within the first three seconds? Why didn't you notice is the question.

[Chris Joy]

I was listening to your. Your story.

[Brian Green]

I'm so engrossing here in the studio that at least I pressed record on. You'll hear it tomorrow. Go back and listen to my thing about the dark One.

[Chris Joy]

Says video today, audio tomorrow.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's the way we operate. I have my headphones all the way up. Did that work? Am I that loud? Did you.

[Chris Joy]

We probably busted out a lot of people's speakers or something.

[Brian Green]

When we came back on, I was wondering. The numbers kept going up and down and up and down and up and down, which is not usually how it is. Usually it's just one person who's listening. But I was like, what's going on here? Thank you, everybody. Slap that Bass. Sean knew us well enough to know he'll catch it during the first break. Yeah, he'll catch it after 30 minutes.

[Chris Joy]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

I just think that's so funny. What's funny is y' all stayed.

[Chris Joy]

I know. Thank you.

[Brian Green]

I think. I don't think that's a credit to us. I think it's a credit to them having fun in the chat. They're like, well, at least there's some other interesting people. We haven't made it to the talkies yet here on the podcast. We're still in our silent film days. We're gonna do black and white tomorrow.

[Chris Joy]

We should.

[Brian Green]

That's right. I'm gonna have Looney Tunes play us out. I'm gonna put cartoon music to tomorrow's episode.

[Chris Joy]

Da da da da da, da da.

[Brian Green]

All right, well, you'll hear it tomorrow. It's fine. You didn't really miss anything. I was talking about the Dark wizard, and then I was talking about a show called Half man on hbo, which is much. And then a little bit about my shenanigans in New York and how scared people are. Yeah. The other day I was, you know, in hotel rooms around the rest of the universe. It's not you. You. Let me see if I can describe this hotel. This hotel that I'm staying at. So it's a boutique hotel. And when I say boutique just means small. That's really what it's a small, independently owned, not one of the I love those bouti. Sometimes they're good and sometimes they're terrible. I mean, I told you the first time that my ae, my exec, or my ea, who's just wonderful. The first time that I went to New York, I didn't have a corporate card, so.

[Chris Joy]

Right.

[Brian Green]

I'm working with a company. By the way, I don't think we've explained this yet. I'm working with a podcast with a studio based in New York, and I'm helping them kind of coalesce their operations up there because of all the experience I have keeping us on mute. I hope the board of directors is watching. I don't think anybody from that company's watching. I think they would prefer to just forget that I do this altogether. Fair enough.

[Chris Joy]

Because of all your expertise,

[Brian Green]

because of my sharp sense of digital media, of

[Chris Joy]

what needs to happen during a podcast,

[Brian Green]

like pressing the mute button.

[Chris Joy]

I can't stop laughing.

[Brian Green]

Well, you can look at this one of two ways. Either I really don't know what the fuck I'm doing, or I know we're bad Enough I should just keep it off that I could get just as many watchers, viewers with no sound. I don't know what that says about us. I really don't. So I'm up in New York and my ea. I say, the first time I went up there, starting the job new at the company, I'm going to be up there a couple days a week. So I say, so I say to the eaa, I don't have my corporate card yet, but she does have a corporate card. And I say, can you make me a place to stay? Can you? Because I don't know, I don't know anything about where this, you know. Can you find me a place that's within walking distance?

[Chris Joy]

Yeah, I mean there's only a million options.

[Brian Green]

Well, in Soho, that's weird because in soho there, there are a million options, but there's two versions, there's two flavors of options and none of them include like a Marriott or a Hilton flag. You either got to go up into Midtown, like near Times Square.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Or the park or something like that to get like a branded hotel. There's one Residence by Marriott and there's one Renaissance. And both of those are well over 700 a night most nights. Which you know, when you're trying to show the board of directors or the guy who started the company, you know, personally funding it out of his own pocket, that you're not gonna tax every operation. You don't want to spend a thousand dollars a night. This is not a wise idea. And plus I'm not a hotel snob. I like nice hotels, but I don't. I could stay at a perfectly fine hotel. I have 12 children. Do you think I'd show up at the Ritz Carlton everywhere?

[Chris Joy]

I've been to the Great Wolf Lodge.

[Brian Green]

I've been to the Great Wolf Lodge. That's right. That's all I gotta say. Man, I see so many horror stories on Instagram about Great Wolf Lodge. People just love sharing their horror stories about. It's a whole sub genre subculture that's going on. So I'm. So I ask her and God bless her, she's super smart, super sharp, super capable. She's also young. So I don't think that like hotel knowledge. She's not staying at a hotel in the city where she lives, so how the does she supposed to know? So she finds a hotel that's suitable price wise and is in within walking distance. And I say okay. But I look at it and I don't feel great about the pictures. So I Google around and I find some other photographs of a different hotel that look just like two scooches nicer and actually. Actually not nicer is the word. More spacious. Because in New York, just like Europe, you can really get tiny hotel rooms.

[Chris Joy]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I don't like to feel boxed in. I like a little bit of breathing room. And the first picture she sent me, the hotel looked fine, but the beds were up against the closet. Like, you would have to open the closet door from the bed. Do you know what I'm saying? That's how small the rooms were.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And Astrid and I stayed at a place like that in Germany one time, and I just did not care. It made me, like, a little claustrophobic. Yeah. I. I had to open the windows, and I. It was. I. I didn't feel good about it. No. Pacing around the bed, because you can't. There's no space in the room. So I said. I go, hey, listen, can. Are you okay? Can we look at this place? It's like, you know, a couple bucks more a night, but can we look at this place? Oh, no. Excuse me. It was a couple bucks less a night, so I said, can we look at this place? Couple bucks less a night. But it looks like. Like, you know, I. Let's try it. She books me there. I go there. It's the first day I'm. I walk right off a plane into the office. I'm there for five hours, and then I finally get a break, and I'm like, okay, let me take my bags, and I'll go check into the hotel. And I check into this hotel, and it is nothing short of the worst hotel I have ever been in. And that is saying something.

[Chris Joy]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

I lived at a Motel 6 for, like. Like, 26 days. That's directly off the highway in the worst part of. The nicest part of Atlanta. Marietta is a very rich area of town, but there are some parts of Marietta that you wouldn't be caught dead. Right. Just like every. Every big city has this. And I stayed at the Motel 6 off the highway.

[Chris Joy]

Oh, wow.

[Brian Green]

For 26 days. And I had more faith in those accommodations than I did this hotel that I chose over the person who lives there giving me the information.

[Chris Joy]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. No, no, no, no.

[Chris Joy]

Let's choose my hotel.

[Brian Green]

I go there, and the downstairs is okay. But I should have known that this was not the greatest place. When I looked on the maps, they had. It was fine. The. You know, they have. The front of the hotel looks fine. Every. You Know, great, wonderful. Looks fine. But even in the pictures on the map, the dumpsters are sitting right outside of the front door. Like they're right to the left when you walk outside, right? And I thought to myself, oh, that's construction or something.

[Chris Joy]

That's construction, yeah.

[Brian Green]

When I walked up to the hotel, they were right in the same place they had been in Google Maps. So I was like, okay, not great trash management here, but let's see how it goes. I walk in, they're perfectly lovely. Tiny little lobby, everyone's lovely. And the guy says to me, there's, like loud German pop music and videos playing on televisions downstairs, right? And there's like this string lighting you would buy on Amazon. Do you know what I'm talking? The colored string lighting is on the elevator doors. And so it's like this weird string lighting, loud pop German music going on. And I think to myself, what the fuck is the vibe in this hotel?

[Rachel]

What is it?

[Brian Green]

Can't figure it out. Is it sex dungeon? Or is it Germany does have those? Or is it, like, brothel meets hostel? Couldn't figure it out. Certainly was cheap enough to be hostile.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Certainly looked weird enough to be brothel, right? But I couldn't figure it out. And so I'm the only one there. I check in, and the guy says to me, all right, Mr. Green, I got you on the 12th floor. Nice high floor, yeah. And he points over there, and there's like a bunch of Dasani waters. Not in a cooler, just, like, on a table, all discombobulated. And he's like, take as many waters as you want. They're those bottles.

[Chris Joy]

The tiny ones?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, the tiny ones. And I'm like, okay, thanks. And I do. I take, like, four of them, I put them in my bag, and I go, hey, I like to have tea at night. And I like, right before I go to sleep. So I go, hey, is there a tea kettle in the room? And he goes, oh, what? And I go, a tea kettle? And he goes, no, but we got coffee brewing 24 hours a day down here in the lobby. Lobby. And I go, oh, can I get some hot water down here? And he's like, I don't know. And I go, don't you use hot

[Chris Joy]

water for the coffee?

[Brian Green]

Make the coffee? And he's like, I don't know. I don't make it. The janitor makes it when they come in in the morning. And I'm like, the janitor makes the coffee to come in in the morning. It's there 24 hours a day. Okay, I look over, it's literally like an office coffee pot. You've seen the office coffee pots, the ones with the orange handle on them, you know, the same kind that they used to use at McDonald's. And it's just sitting there, there and I can see it's bubbling like tar. And I'm like, all right, well, okay, I guess I won't have any tea or I'll get some at the office or whatever. I go up that elevator that smells heavily, heavily like marijuana. I mean like someone had been smoking, someone was on top of the elevator that I was riding in, just blowing it in there. But you know, pot's legal in New York, so you smell it a lot when you go. There's a lot of people smoking weed on the streets.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah, it's everywhere.

[Brian Green]

I get up to the, whatever it is, the 12th floor, the high, the high floor, which, the, the hotel's like 20 stories, so I don't know what the 12. Okay, all right, whatever. I get up there and all of a sudden we go from like these 20 foot ceilings down in the lobby to like six and a half foot ceilings upstairs. Do you know what I'm talking about? Like, okay, completely disoriented. I was like this, I was like hunched out. I'm not tall and I was hunched down and the corridors were tiny and I could hear everybody's TV on down in the hallway. And I'm way at the end and at the end there's like a door where you can walk out into a fire escape and the door is half cocked and I can, I look through the window and I can see people smoking pot or cigarettes or whatever. Down, down on the fire escape? Yeah, on the fire escape. And I'm like, okay, well there's a vibe going on. It's a thing. I'm in New York, There's a thing going on here. Here carpet is pitch black. Carpet walls are dark gray. Right. Doors are like some kind of orange. It's like a weird non sequiting vibe. But I hit my key, I open up the door and the room is worse than I could have ever expected. I even name this place. Maybe you'll end up there sometime. But I'm not going to. It's worse than I could have expected. It has carpet on the floor that is not the dark black but some kind of brownish carpet. But, but they, it's clear there had been a stain there at some point and they cut it out with a knife or scissors and then cut another piece to ill fit that and not even in like a, like a square or a circle. Like one might try and do this, but like they tried to cut out the exact stain and they just put a piece of carpet down there. No padding on the carpet. Hard as a rock. So now I can't take off my shoes. Cause I don't know what the fuck's on that floor. There are stains, other stains on the ground. I. I can't do that. There's like an old wooden chest in the corner. You open it up, there's like a T. Flat screen TV. I turn it on and it's like, welcome, Mr. Integra. And I'm like, Mr. Interra. It's got three channels, all of them on air. Like, none of them cable, right? You can open the window one inch. It's like Dink. You know, I'm saying I can't even get fresh air in there. The. Yeah, yeah, Dink. You know, it's got that lock on it. What happens if there's a fire? Where do I go? Well, you.

[Chris Joy]

The fire escape was right outside your door. People were out there.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, there's people blocking it. They're too high to know there's a fire. I'm fucked if I have to go out there. I mean, I'm fucked if I have to jump out the 12 story window too. But I want the opportunity, give myself a shot, right? So I'm like, okay. I'm trying to make myself as comfortable as possible. I'm just like. I'm like, okay, okay. I have to eat my own crow here because my ea had a place for me to stay. She probably knew better than this. And I decided to go kicking off on my own because I want an extra three feet of space in my room. Well, there's an extra three feet of space, but by the way, this looks nothing like the pictures.

[Chris Joy]

Nothing?

[Brian Green]

Oh no, not even close to the pictures. The pictures look like new furniture. Beautiful beds, you know, floor to ceiling windows. I have a picture window in there. It's not even close to floor to ceiling and I can't see of. And what? So I'm just like walking around this hotel room in my shoes, right? I don't really want to sit on the bed because I don't know what's going on, right? I go into the bathroom. It's got one of those sinks that's just like attached to the wall, right? And I look in the sink and it's got like permanent stains on the sink form mica counter that's like jutting out from the wall bathroom that's got water stains on it and a shower head from 19 fucking 22. So I make a decision immediately. I'm like, no, not gonna work, not gonna work. I don't want to waste the company's money. So now I gotta figure out what I got to tell the guy downstairs to get my money back. I go and I sit in the chair. Just for a second, just to relax. I sit in the chair. And as I'm sitting in the chair,

[Chris Joy]

a big spring pops up.

[Brian Green]

Can you hear us now? I just checking. So I'm sitting there watching one of the three channels that comes in all squiggly.

[Chris Joy]

Welcome, Mr. Integra.

[Brian Green]

Welcome, Mr. Integra. And I look down and a roach crawling across my shoe.

[Chris Joy]

Oh, across your shoe.

[Brian Green]

Across my shoe. That's it.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Roll them up, roll them up. I go downstairs, I take everything out. I had taken some stuff out, you know, the bag and stuff. Trying to get comfortable, Trying to make. Trying to like settle in for the long haul. Okay. I just got to make it two nights and then I can come back next week in a different hotel now. Pack it all up. I leave, right? I go. And as I'm walking out of the hotel, just because I looked at the pictures again, just to make sure that I wasn't hallucinating on this. And the pictures really did have floor to ceiling windows. And I look at the entire building, all 20 floors of it, and I. All I see is picture windows. There's no floor to ceiling windows anywhere. I look at every picture on that Hotel.com or whatever it was there. Clearly they had manufactured the pictures or taken the pictures from someone.

[Chris Joy]

It was like AI or something.

[Brian Green]

Bait and switch. Yeah, it was. So I leave the hotel, don't say a word, out the door. Because they were like, I'm keeping the waters. Yes, I'm keeping the waters. A men. I'm keeping the water. Waters. Actually, I think I threw the waters away. I didn't trust it at that point. I got a hantavirus from the rats crawling across the. Yeah, okay. All right. When I was leaving, there were like young foreign people checking into the hotel. Like a big group of them. Right. So I knew, yeah, this is for like people who don't know better. People who are coming from across the universe. Yeah. And they just need a 189 place.

[Chris Joy]

Oh, it was hostile like.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it was very hostile like. So I leave and at about 6pm I find another hotel. The one that I'm staying at now, the one that I Love. I call the hotel and I say, hey, listen, it's Brian Green. I'm staying at 1206.

[Chris Joy]

You may know me as Mr. Integra.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you may know me as Mr. IntegRA. I'm calling on behalf of Mr. Integra. Mr. Integra wasn't satisfied with your commentary.

[Chris Joy]

I sent my assistant, Brian Green.

[Brian Green]

Yes. He wanted to check it out.

[Chris Joy]

He wasn't happy.

[Brian Green]

Wasn't happy at all with these accommodations. He would prefer his carpet be cut out in actual shapes. A rectangle would have done. So I say to him, hey, listen, someone in Atlanta said, I gotta run home. Give me my money back. I didn't even make the vet. I chickened down. I wasn't telling you about the roaches. Yeah, cut out carpet Emergency. Yeah, emergency. That's the best way to say it. And so you know what? He was like? Yeah, no problem. That's what he said. And goes, yeah, no problem. I'll do it. Because this is not the first time that this has happened. He probably gets this phone call twice a day. Yeah, yeah. It's like, you know, I'm in my. My late 60s. I'm not gonna stay in the German brothel hostel.

[Chris Joy]

The brothel hostel.

[Brian Green]

I don't want to stay at the brothel hostel. It scares me. It makes me nervous. All right, then I'll fit. I said all that to finish my story about my current hotel.

[Chris Joy]

Well, we're doing two shows today.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we're doing two shows. We gotta drag it out. You know how much people that at my office like working with me. I bet when I'm not there, the four days a week I'm not there, it's the best four days of their week.

[Chris Joy]

They get a lot done.

[Brian Green]

They get a lot done. All right, we'll take a break. We'll be back.

[Rachel]

Let me do something Brian has never done.

[Brian Green]

Be brief.

[Rachel]

Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 221-24333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercial break and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian? That really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

[Sam]

Just a guy who rants. Not funny at all. The co host is asleep. She's pretty dull. Why people like the show. Why are they on the charts? What's the fuck are you talking about? I shouldn't always do this, dad. TCV is terrible. This show is fucking bad. Eyes like to punch Brian's mouth. This podcast is kinda sad. Is this what we think is funny? Now how do I turn it off? My ears are saying ow. Stop laughing at yourself. Are these two making sense? least I didn't pay. I am deaf in my defense. TCB is terrible. That is being kind. Both the hosts are idiots. They left the funny behind. What is this show about? It's offensive to my soul. Bright as a hack. These two aren't funny and so old. Why all the hype? How did you this get made? So many episodes, none of which are great. TCB is terrible. Worst show you could do. TCB is terrible. Worst to you.

[Brian Green]

Whoa.

[Chris Joy]

I Breaking news here. I just read that the Murdoch murder convictions are overturned.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that happened this morning. Yeah, that happened this morning. We won't get out of jail though. That's not gonna happen.

[Chris Joy]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So the. The county clerk was apparently telling the jurors that Murdoch was. Murdoch was guilty and that they needed to pay attention to the guilty look on his face. She unsealed stuff that was sealed by the judge. Like evidence that was sealed by the judge. She unsealed it. She talked to reporters. This lady was wackadoo. She were. She was hell bent on making sure this guy went to jail and she was willing to do anything she could to push it over the edge. And that is just 1,000% illegal.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah, definitely.

[Brian Green]

The clerk says this be back at 4pm right. Be back at noon. It's time for lunch. Like that's the only thing that the, the clerk can say. The clerk is just responsible for the minutiae of what happens inside of the room. They're not. They. They cannot persuade jurors. They cannot say anything. So this is one correct. This is a correct decision on behalf of the Supreme Court. However. However, they will try this guy again. Yeah, they have. They can use the court transcripts from the first case because it's not the prosecutors of the judge who was doing anything wrong. It was the court clerk. So they will be able to enter that into evidence. They will try him again. He will go to jail. That's like if. If this happened once, I can't imagine. And you can't use a new defense. You can't say, well, that didn't work. So let's try this. Because the court records are there, so the prosecution can not. What you said last time. Right. So they got to stick to the same script again.

[Chris Joy]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

And I think by any account. Yeah, yeah, Alec was guilty. So there you go. There you have it. That's it. He's. It's just a technicality and he'll have to go through this all again now will the judge. I can't imagine this is going to happen because he then pled guilty to additional counts after he was convicted in order to. But there might. That might get thrown out, too. And here's why. One could reasonably make the argument he pled guilty to the other counts, the lesser charges, to run the sentences concurrent. And so, you know, it's a strategy, essentially. It doesn't. There could be an argument made. Those could get thrown out too. But at the end of the day, I mean, he's guilty. He's guilty. This is some weird, you know, mass man running around South Carolina shooting people on there.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I mean, this guy did a lot. A lot of crazy.

[Chris Joy]

I've watched all the documentaries, all the things.

[Brian Green]

God, wasn't he the one that, like, shot himself in the head?

[Chris Joy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

To try and, like, make it look like he. He had been. Like someone was after him.

[Chris Joy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

In order to further. And wasn't he also, like, taking 58,000 milligrams of Vico in a day or something?

[Chris Joy]

Yes. All of it.

[Brian Green]

Anyways, listen, I. I can understand the addiction. I can understand the desperation. I can understand that, you know, money was stolen and you. You felt cornered. But murdering someone, like, just take your medicine.

[Chris Joy]

Your mother and your son.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy]

Well, I mean, your wife. Your wife, the mother of your child. Yes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. God, just take your medicine. You up? Yeah. You're. You got a bad addiction problem. You made some bad financial decisions. You stole some money. You would have gone to jail for five, 10 years. And then life would have gone on. Right. And their lives would have gone on. And this just would have been, you know, another chapter in a long line of chapters about, you know, people who mismanaged money or stole it or whatever. Stealing money is not particularly unusual. Lots of people do it. It's, you know, people get desperate. They do desperate things. Money, you can heal those wounds eventually. Right? What you can't do is bring someone back from the dead. That's like, to me, that's the ultimate crime. That's hard to overlook because it's like you. You take someone's life and that's an undoable thing. Money comes and goes. It washes over people's hands. You know, addictions happen. People get in bad situations. I understand there's a lot of pressure that you have this big family that's run the county for thousands of years or whatever. You know, you felt like a up. You were a fuck up. But you would have gotten over that. People would have gotten over it. It would have been. It would have been local drama and then it just would have. Things. Things would have eventually gotten back to normal, but you just blew up entire generations of livelihoods and lives and all this over just some dumb. Dumb. That's it. That and then didn't his son kill some girl in a boating accident?

[Chris Joy]

Yeah, well, that's kind of where the story starts, is, you know, the son. Yeah, he was drunk and it went like. I think it was under this bridge.

[Brian Green]

I remember watching a lot of like YouTube videos about. Oh, he was going like. He was going like 30 miles per hour with no lights on.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And he hit bridge. A bridge. And a girl died. His girlfriend. Right. Wasn't he dating that girl? Girl? Or was it the girlfriend of another guy?

[Chris Joy]

He was a girlfriend of a friend of his friend, like his best friend.

[Brian Green]

Hammered 16 years old or whatever. I mean, just like, that's a different life. Who gets a boat at 16 years old that they can just take out whenever they want?

[Chris Joy]

Yeah, these. These little towns, you know that. You know, that's generations of run. They. They're used to getting away with this, that and the other. And do whatever they want. They feel like they can do whatever they want.

[Brian Green]

That's right. Ideos meal. Anyway, went to this hotel.

[Chris Joy]

Yes. Back to the hotel.

[Brian Green]

Back to the murder Hotel. Hotel. Back to the brothel hostel. So I said, I set all that up to say that I found this other hotel, this boutique hotel. 22, 23 rooms. All of them have balconies. All of them are a little bit more spacious than the murder Hotel even, which is not spacious. Don't get me wrong. It's not big, but it's enough. It's enough that you don't feel cooped in.

[Chris Joy]

Found your little home.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I found my little home.

[Chris Joy]

It's.

[Brian Green]

It's kichi. It's cool. It's. You know, they have a cool vibe going on in there. The people are super friendly and you can't hear a fucking thing in any of the other rooms. You can certainly hear the noise outside.

[Chris Joy]

Well, that. You never get away from that.

[Brian Green]

You never get away from that. Sirens every 15 seconds. But okay, that's a little bit of cold comfort if you. If you have ever been in a big city or like that kind of noise. And I do. So I go to this hotel. And it is floor to ceiling windows and then the balcony door, right? Okay, so now imagine this. The windows are split up into two foot by two foot slices, all right? And then at the end, on the opposite side of the door is like a 4 foot by 10 foot clear pane. And the other ones are frosted. Oh, all right.

[Chris Joy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

So you've got a window for privacy, but it's frosted. Okay, all right.

[Chris Joy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

All right, then in the middle of the room is your shower. Two glass panes, a curtain you can pull in front of the thing if you want some additional privacy from the room. But if, let's just say that you were to stand in that shower and take a shower in the middle of the night and the window and the big curtain was open, then that clear pane of window you would just see right into someone's shower. Yeah, but I'm on the ninth floor of this hotel, right? So I get in late on Sunday and I'm just not even thinking about anything. I don't do anything. I put my bags down, I'm off the plane, I've been playing all day with the kids. I feel grubby and nasty. I'm like, let me jump into a shower. So. So I jump. You see where this is going, right? Yeah. You see where this is going, right? I'm in there, I'm doing my thing, I'm watching TV, I'm having a 50 minute shower, I'm doing this whole thing and then I look over and I see, oh shit, I forgot to close the curtain because it's. I don't know, I was thinking about the. I looked at the frosted wind. I just didn't even think about it, to be honest with you. But I'm like, ah, who can see me up here? Yeah, everybody. Because it's fucking New York. And 1/9 of New York lives on the 9th floor of their buildings. And their buildings are right across the street from my building. So I look out the window and I can see clear across into somebody else's condo in their bedroom. And there's a dude I could see laying in his bed looking out his window like this. So no, I'm in the shower looking at him and he's in his bed looking at me. I think, I mean, it's pretty far away, but I can see the clearly the man laying in the bed. I know that, that I know that my eyes will make out. Right. But the curtain for the shower is on the outside of the shower. You have to get out and Walk around and pull the curtain on the shower.

[Chris Joy]

Did you wave?

[Brian Green]

I didn't. I watched off. Now, 52 minutes into my shower, I'm like, the guy's laying on the bed because he just whacked off and now he's taking a nap.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Hot, sexy man. I love that hotel. I know. He's probably like, I love that hotel. Everyone does the same thing. He could be looking at me or he could be looking at one of the other 22 rooms, right? I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I can't see his eyeballs. I mean, you know, I can't see where his head's pointed, but it just. I can see the man in the, in the bed. So I'm like, well, Brian, God damn it. So I, I take a shower, I dry off, I run over, I pull the curtain on the thing closed and I get in some appropriate clothing, you know, long socks and your long johns, 3 inch seam running shorts, ill fitting T shirt. And then I open the balcony door and I just pop out for a second just so I can assess the situation. Assess the situation.

[Chris Joy]

Let me see.

[Brian Green]

And there's the guy. He's like this.

[Chris Joy]

He gave you a head nod.

[Brian Green]

I don't know if he did, but it looked like it. My mind might have been making it up, but it looked like it looked like I could. Got the head nod. Thanks.

[Chris Joy]

At least he wasn't running, screaming or anything, you know, take it as a compliment.

[Brian Green]

That's true. He was cool.

[Chris Joy]

Cool to watch the shower.

[Brian Green]

Why not? Okay, the guy's show, whatever.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Listen, I gotta imagine it is a. Probably a hobby to a lot of these people who have been living in New York for a long time, live in a very dense city that you have a pair of binoculars and all you're doing all night long is just checking out what everybody else is doing. Yeah, it's got to be in their whole Friends episode about this.

[Chris Joy]

Fascinating.

[Brian Green]

There's a Friends episode about this Naked man or something. And they have the monoculars and like, oh, Naked Man's back, right? Isn't that it? I think so too. I've only watched a few Friends episodes, but I think Naked man was one of them. And they lived in New York too, didn't they? Wasn't that their thing? They lived in New York? Yeah. I wonder if they were on the ninth floor. He. You know, the craziest thing is that I want to say this without saying it. Show that it the building, one of the buildings that I work close to the building in the row of buildings that I'm on now. I've told this story a lot on. I know a lot. But a few times on the show that when I was a young pup I sent in a couple of audition tapes for the real.

[Chris Joy]

That's right. Yes.

[Brian Green]

Right, yes. Still waiting for that call back. I think they're going to reboot.

[Chris Joy]

You also stayed in a car, right, in the mall?

[Brian Green]

I stayed in a car in the. No, I, that's not true. I got, I tried to get on to that show. I auditioned for it incredibly intoxicated. And then like some AV people from Georgia Tech were there filming it and they interviewed me when I got off stage. It was Barnes, Leslie and Jimmy and they were like this 99x morning crew.

[Chris Joy]

Oh yeah.

[Brian Green]

And you had to, to be at a. They were going to do three separate bars, three separate nights and you had to get up and you had to audition and then they would wheeled it down to like nine people who were going to stay in this car. And the last one in the car got the car right. This whole was going down in the 90s. 90s were a wild time. They were right. You could have a smoke, you could like have a smoke break every like three hours or whatever it was. Go to the bathroom if you needed to. But anyway you had to live in this car and the person who outlived the rest of them and the guy. I think one time here in Atlanta, somebody lived in there for two people in there for like two months. It went on forever.

[Sam]

Ever.

[Brian Green]

Eventually they just had to say Ty, you both, you drive on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and you drive on Thursdays and Fridays. So I went up. So I, I, I was, you know, I was just like hell bent on being somebody I, I didn't know. I just wanted to be in the limelight in some way shape or form this is call it like I see it. I, I have a big ego and I wanted to be in the limelight and so I went there but I, there were. The bar was so crowded. It was so big, it was so crowded. And I took a number and I was waiting my or I filled out the form or whatever it was and I was waiting for my name to be called and in the meantime I decided to heavily drink draft beer. I mean I think we were on like our fourth picture and when I say I think we, I mean me and another person who are with me.

[Chris Joy]

I've done that.

[Brian Green]

A like 5 foot 1 Asian woman who I was dating at the time time who didn't drink, really. I think she was sipping her beer, and I think I was on my third pitcher. Do you know what I'm saying? I was trying to, like, calm my nerves down a little.

[Chris Joy]

Nerves.

[Brian Green]

And it completely backfired. I got so intoxicated that when they called my name, I don't even remember what happened. But all I recall is how short of a time I was on stage compared to the other people. So I don't think it went well. I think they asked me, like, two questions, and I was like, yeah, whatever. And then when I got off stage, I was pulled aside by the filming crew at Georgia Tech for an interview about what I. About why I wanted to do this and what I was doing. And I don't remember what happened, but I don't think it went well because the girl who was with me was kind of like, we better get you home. We better get you home. Anyway, I put in a bunch of tapes for. Not a bunch of tapes. I put in some tapes for the Real World. I convinced my dad to let me use. Use the video camcorder that we had, and I made some audition tapes. And. And then I remember I got called or written back, make another one with this specific blah, blah, blah. And I did. And then. Still waiting to hear back on that. Still waiting. And this would have been like season four or five or something like that of the Real. When I was old enough, maybe even six or seven. But I remember watching that show religiously from the Gift.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah, it was a great show in the beginning.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Sam]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

On the street where I work, on the block where I work, in the series of buildings near the very building that I work at is the original Real World building. That's right.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah, I remember that episode. I mean, that. That season for sure. It was groundbreaking.

[Brian Green]

It's groundbreaking. It was the first reality show. I mean, not the, like, at first ever of this kind. Like, there were documentaries and other things. There were. There were a couple of shows that did stuff in small, digestible chunks for the audience, but never a television show that just let people live together and figure it out. And then we just film it and we'd cut it and edit it and figure it out. First reality show really. Really defined the genre.

[Chris Joy]

I remember that place being cool.

[Brian Green]

It was. It was a loft. Yeah, yeah, it was a loft. It was cool. You wanted to live there. It was New York. Everything was hustle, everything was bustle. Everyone was having fun. You know, they had some interesting characters in there. I think it ended up being a lot More interesting than even the people at MTV thought it was gonna be. And everybody tuned in. The whole world tuned in. It was like a phenomenon that happened. And I loved it from the moment. I loved it. I loved watching it. And now. And so I met an architect in the building where I worked, and he said, hey, did you know that this is the place where they filmed the very first Real World? I said, no, I did not. And then he said, I'll you show. Show you. And so I went to the empty floor that was the floor that they lived on. And he kind of showed me where the things were that, you know, happened during the show. It's completely gutted now they're doing something with it, but. But I was like, wow, that's cool. Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Joy]

History space.

[Brian Green]

I got a little history lesson about the Real World. And, you know, in New York. And I remember how full circle.

[Chris Joy]

Look at you.

[Brian Green]

I know. I remember how gritty that part of New York was when they were filming that. It just felt gritty. It looked gritty. You know, it's not that anymore. It's not. It's all. Yeah. Alec Baldwin lives next door. So, you know, how gritty can it be? He's got 42 children. I think he has two floors of a building. He must. I mean, that guy, he's got to. God damn. Does he have a lot of kids? He has a lot of kids, doesn't he?

[Chris Joy]

Well, he does overall. And then even just recently with Hilaria, they had like, five kids. Yeah, I know. You love her.

[Brian Green]

I was watching an Instagram post she made the other day. It's fucking. I'm not. She's talking about how someone mistook her husband for. Antonio Banderas. They're down in. They're down in the Dominican Republic.

[Chris Joy]

They don't look alike.

[Brian Green]

No. Alec looks old. I mean, the guy looks old.

[Chris Joy]

Well, even when in young. They didn't look alike.

[Brian Green]

No, they've never looked alike. And the truth is that Alec has probably aged another 10 years in the last five years, because anybody who's gonna go through that, you know, when you accidentally kill.

[Chris Joy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

You know, that's gotta weigh so heavy on your mind. And he looks, by the way, if I'm just being honest, he looks out of it. Like I saw him in person. He looked out of it. I love Alec Baldwin. I think he's great. I think he's one of the great actors. He's got certainly some personality. He's Irish, he's rough. He's gruff. He's. You know, I love his old. He can be a little brusque movies

[Chris Joy]

and I've especially loved him in 30 Rock.

[Brian Green]

30 Rock was fantastic. 30 Rock was fantastic. But when I saw him, he just looked out of. His eyes look red and bloodshot and out of it. I don't think that's because he's high. I think that's just because he's like maybe not sleeping or whatever. And then I watched. Watched him on this Instagram post where he could have been less interested in what Hilaria was saying. Less interested. And they got those kids in tow with them, the young ones, and you know, he's just like, get me to the. He's sweating through his shirt. His shirt is just all drenched in sweat. And they're walking the Dominican Republic and she's all. And he's like, ah, kill me. Yeah, he knows. He knows. He's. He's not getting another wife with 14 kids. He's not getting one of those. So he's. He's just got to live the rest of his 76 year old life out with Ellaria. And Hilaria is waiting for him to die so she can make Instagram posts on her own. I'm not saying she doesn't love him. She probably does. But I mean, let's be honest, she's. She's. She's a little bit obnoxious. She's a little bit obnoxious.

[Chris Joy]

Well, the Dancing with the Stars thing that you showed me, I was like, I didn't even watch the reality thing. They did.

[Brian Green]

No one watches the reality thing. They did.

[Chris Joy]

You did.

[Brian Green]

I did. It's terrible. Terrible. I don't even know why I watched it, if I'm being honest. I got hooked in the.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Terrible city of it all. All right, well, hey, thanks so much for sticking with us even though you couldn't hear us.

[Chris Joy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

I really appreciate their own fun. That's what I love about you guys. You don't need us.

[Chris Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

When we're long gone, you'll. You guys can get together and do reunions. The commercial break reunion. Who are the two people who did that show that this whole started because of? Chrissy and I are the Alaria and Alec Baldwin of the support group, the podcast world. You're not really sure why you're watching, but you're stuck in it all. Yeah, yeah. The old, out of it brusque guy and Chrissy moving in and out of Spanish accent. All right, well, listen here, I just want to. I'm going to alert you to something, okay? We're Going to come back on you just you got tune out. I gotta refresh. I gotta start a new show and all that stuff. Yeah, I gotta hit mute again. We will unmute it and then we will be back for another episode of the commercial break. But then I will also let you know that tomorrow Christy and I will be on a very special episode of Alison Hare's call. Culture Changers just confirmed. I just read it over the break. So we're gonna do is we're gonna do a co episode with Allison and Allison is part of the reason why we're all here, if I'm being honest. So this should be interesting. We're gonna talk, talk it through for an hour. That probably is going to happen around 2:30 tomorrow afternoon and then we'll do another episode before that. So today, tomorrow, Friday you get episodes on the stream, YouTube.com the commercial break break. And tomorrow, for those of you listening on the podcast version, tomorrow is today. Today will be yesterday. Okay. Yes, got it. All right. Okay. So the best thing to do is just to go to YouTube.com TheCommercialBreak and then follow us, hit the notifications because then you'll be notified every time we go live. Which is really a moving target right about it is we're trying, we're keeping

[Chris Joy]

everybody on the toes.

[Brian Green]

Keeping everybody on your to toast. Okay.

[Chris Joy]

Even our.

[Brian Green]

I don't even want to tell you about our next vacation schedule because then everyone's gonna go see you later commercial break. But don't worry, we have episodes for you. YouTube.com the Commercial Break at the Commercial Break on Instagram tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, all the video and your free sticker. Okay, we'll see you back here in about 10 minutes on the stream. We'll see you tomorrow on the podcast. Chrissy. That's all I can do for now.

[Chris Joy]

I think.

[Brian Green]

So I'll tell you that I love you. I love you and best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say goodbye,

[Sam]

Sam.