Is This Landing?

Summary

The Commercial Break – “Is This Landing?” (October 10, 2024)

Episode Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break is classic TCB: Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley veer from music fandom to absurdist improv, before settling into a marathon breakdown and roast of self-styled author and pickup-artist philosopher, John Zahn. The chaos is on brand, with the duo skewering pop culture, aging rock stars, and the foggy wisdom of internet “gurus”—with plenty of digressions, character voices, and tangents in tow. The overarching theme centers on the often convoluted, meandering nature of self-help advice and what happens when the supposed expert can’t seem to land the proverbial plane.

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I. Musical Musings & Tangents on Aging Performers

(00:52–14:17)

• King Gizzard & Khruangbin:
  Krissy and Bryan launch into admiration for bands with hard-to-pronounce names—loving the visual spectacle and charity work of Khruangbin, and remarking how “the sex appeal just rolls off” Laura Lee (01:51).

  “That girl, like, that sex appeal just rolls off her and the way that she moves.”
  — Krissy (01:51)

• On Stage Identities:
  Discussion about wigs/masks in musical acts, letting performers enjoy anonymity and mingle with the audience post-show.

• Frankie Valli at 90:
  Krissy questions the ethics and authenticity of extremely elderly entertainers like Frankie Valli still performing, focusing on obvious lip-syncing and auto-tune.

  “He just looks like a dead person walking. Like he really does. He can't move a lot. And so many people are debating this…why are you keep on pushing Frankie out on stage?”
  — Krissy (05:58)

  “At 90, do you even know what you want?”
  — Bryan (07:06)

• Cultural Aging:
  Comparison to presidential figures and society’s odd compulsion to put aging icons on display, blending humor with social commentary (references to Jimmy Carter and Joe Biden).

• Pearl Jam and Touring:
  The duo discuss how post-pandemic shifts are making even top-tier touring difficult (see JLo’s canceled tour), and how aging bands are shifting to “event” gigs over endless touring.

  “The reason why ticket prices might be so expensive, too, is because they know they're getting toward the end of that touring phase of their career.”
  — Krissy (12:23)

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II. The “Jean Zahn” Odyssey: Roasting a Rambling Self-Help Guru

(17:23–49:50)

Introducing John Zahn

• The pod returns to their ongoing project: enduring several segments of a ponderous “pickup artist”/self-help speaker—John Zahn (“Jean Zahn”)—who, they observe, takes forever to make a point.
• They poke fun at Zahn’s looping, abstract digressions and outlandish backstory of wilderness survival.

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Key Discussion Points & Memorable Moments

1. The Art of Rambling

(19:23–23:00)

• Zahn fumbles his opening thesis on attraction, pausing for water and losing track. TCB’s hosts riff on the awkward silence and armpit sweat, amplifying the discomfort.

  “Been there, done that…you know you've lost them. They're nowhere. You're confused.”
  — Bryan (20:08)

• Zahn asks, “Is this landing with you guys?” (20:43), which becomes the episode’s running punchline for when a tangent completely loses momentum.

2. Self-Help is Modern?

(23:11–26:00)

• Zahn claims self-help is a new phenomenon, which the hosts quickly debunk with references to Dale Carnegie, religion, and “Jesus Christ might have been about self-help” (23:33).
• They point out the cyclical, often commercial nature of self-help.

3. Epic Wilderness Backstory

(30:11–36:33)

• Zahn’s increasingly wild tale unfolds as he claims to have left home at 13, survived in the wilderness with a rifle and knife, and befriended a trapper named “Trapper John.”

  “He became fast friends and maybe lovers, but I’ll get to that point in therapy later.”
  — Bryan, riffing on Zahn’s story (33:04)

• Bryan and Krissy parody and exaggerate these stories, mocking inaccuracies (like “200 miles from civilization,” then it’s “not 260, but 60 miles”).

4. Sticky, Icky… Social Skills

(36:33–41:13)

• Zahn credits movies—particularly rom-coms—for teaching social skills, leading the hosts to joke about a woodland theater screening “Shallow Hal” for wild animals.
• The team breaks down Zahn’s claims of being a “quintessential nice guy,” with Krissy doubting: “I tend to think he might have been the quintessential weird guy.” (39:58)

5. Nietzsche, God, and Beauty (Tangential Existentialism)

(41:15–49:01)

• Zahn quotes Nietzsche: “God is dead, and we have killed him,” claiming this underpins modern malaise. The hosts interject with “And this has to do with picking women?” (41:29)

• He laments how art and culture have become about “me, me, me” and ugliness—using the notorious example of Tracey Emin’s “unmade bed” selling for millions.

  “Now you’re just sounding like an old man bitching and complaining.”
  — Krissy (47:16)

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TCB’s Meta-Commentary on Experts Who Can’t Land a Point

• The running joke is Zahn’s inability to finish a thought, with Bryan noting, “I mean, I think I wrap it up right…63% of the time, I wrap up my stories. I meant 16% of the time.” (37:54)
• Both hosts repeatedly offer Zahn “another five minutes to make a point”—satirizing marathon self-help seminars that never actually deliver useful advice.
• The arc closes out with Krissy’s summary: “He went from POIs to, like, you know, benevolent patriarch... he’s working on a fiefdom now.” (45:35)

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III. Closing Thoughts & Farewell

(49:50–52:18)

• After nearly an hour, the duo celebrate simply surviving the ordeal:

  “We lasted this long into Jean Zon. I feel proud of us.”
  — Krissy (49:49)

• They jest about Zahn’s thesis and never-ending books:

  “Lord of the Rings 1 and 2, or whatever you’re working on…The Iliad and the Odyssey. I hope you get around to it, bud.”
  — Bryan (50:42)

• Krissy shares additional gratitude for fan support during her illness, and the hosts close with their signature “best to you” signoff.

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Highlighted Quotes with Timestamps

• On Music’s Allure
  “That girl, like, that sex appeal just rolls off her and the way that she moves.” – Krissy, 01:51

• On the Oddity of Aging Performers
  “He just looks like a dead person walking…why are you keep on pushing Frankie out on stage?” – Krissy, 05:58

• On Rambling Self-Help Gurus
  “Is this landing with you guys?” – John Zahn, 20:43
  “Been there, done that on stage…you know you’ve lost them.” – Bryan, 20:08

• On Questionable Life Lessons
  “I went into the wilderness at 13.” – John Zahn, 30:11
  “Like Davy, Davy Crockett, King of the [woods] next to his house…” – Bryan, riffing, 31:03

• On Modern Self-Help
  “Wouldn’t all of those books, videos, cassettes, seminars…fall under self-help?” – Kristen, 29:34

• On Art and Ugliness
  “Put that in your pipe and smoke it.” – Bryan, 46:11

• On Not Reaching the Point
  “Giving you another five minutes to make a point, and then I’m done.” – Krissy, 45:13
  “It’s gone way off the bat into the wilderness with this story, if you will. Trapper.” – Krissy, 45:14

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• 00:52–04:43 – Music fandom opens the show, with praise for visually stylish bands and commentary on celebrity philanthropy.
• 05:00–11:00 – Granular breakdown of aging icons still touring; ethical and existential questions about letting legends “retire.”
• 12:00–14:17 – Touring economics post-Covid; generational shifts in concert culture.
• 17:23–18:58 – Introduction of the John Zahn conversation.
• 19:23–21:00 – Zahn’s first stumble at delivering effective romantic advice.
• 23:11–26:00 – Self-help as an allegedly "new" genre; the hosts’ incredulity.
• 30:00–36:33 – Zahn’s wild adolescence and survivalist tales.
• 41:15–49:01 – Nietzsche, religion, beauty, and existentialism; the “ugly art” debate.
• 49:50–52:18 – Endgame: Bryan and Krissy reflect on surviving Zahn’s monologue and wrap up the episode.

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Summary Takeaways

• The Commercial Break remains riotously irreverent, blending observational comedy and sharp pop culture analysis with improvisational absurdity.
• The John Zahn segments act as both a roast and a meta-commentary on the endless, unfocused stream of self-help and pickup artist content circulating the web.
• Memorable, running meta-jokes (Is this landing?!) underline the importance of actually “having a point”—in podcasts and in life.
• Despite their crass and off-the-cuff tone, Bryan and Krissy’s banter pokes at cultural blind spots, generational divides, and the nature (and failure) of “wisdom” in the digital age.

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Best to you, and best to you out there in the podcast universe!

Transcript

[Brian Green]

You see this smile, Betty? It's not really a smile. It's the lid on a screen.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

On this episode of the commercial break, I'm Trapper.

[Brian Green]

Trapper, that's what they call me. Trevor John, M.D. my television show just got canceled, but I'm trying to trap some beavers. Would you like to help me? Young 13 year old boy in the middle of the woods with no parents but a gun on his shoulder. And we became fast friends and maybe lovers. But I'll get to that point in therapy later.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

I'm Brian Green and this is the King Lizard to my lizard wizard, Kristen Joy Hill. Say best to you, Brian, and best.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Of you out there in the podcast universe. King Grizzly Lizard.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

And the Lizard Wizard.

[Chrissy]

That's right.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Taking the world by storm, apparently. Goose King Lizard and the Lizard Wizard. I can never remember how to say it correctly. Krong Bin. Have you heard Crom Bin? Of course.

[Chrissy]

I love.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Oh my God.

[Chrissy]

I love King Lizard too.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yeah, they just did the Fox theater for two nights. I wish I was able to go, but I'm not feeling well enough to go. But Krong Bid did Lotam Latom and.

[Chrissy]

They donated all the money they made from that to the. To help the people in Nashville storm.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Good for them. Congratulations.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. What a.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

What a fascinating band to watch.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Like, just to watch. Their videos are mesmerizing to me.

[Chrissy]

I've seen them live before too.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Oh, you have?

[Chrissy]

It's a great show.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

I don't think I've ever seen them live.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, that Laura Lee, oh, she's so cool.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

I mean, that girl, like that sex appeal just rolls off of her and the way that she moves.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

It's just amazing.

[Chrissy]

Amazing outfits and cool, cool wig.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

You know who was the. My favorite.

[Chrissy]

They wear wigs, you know.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yeah, well, yeah, they have to with a hair. Like, I mean, you can't, you don't have hair like that naturally. Or if you do, you're like, she does.

[Chrissy]

And then the lead singer guy too. Or the lead guitarist.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Oh, the lead guitarist. That's their natural hair.

[Chrissy]

No, no, they're both.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Okay. I assumed, I assumed, but I didn't know for sure. But I thought to myself, that hair is just way too good. It's way too perfect to be real hair.

[Chrissy]

Which I guess I saw it too.

[Podcast Announcer]

Not.

[Chrissy]

Sorry. But they, they. I read an article that said they started doing that because then they could go out into the audience afterwards and Watch the show, the rest of the shows or whatever. Like they're at a festival or.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Good idea.

[Chrissy]

Like. Yeah, it was like kind of a disguise.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yeah, that's a good idea. There's that other band that plays very similar music and I do not understand how to say their name. Grizza. And they wear the masks and they have the, like the big sparkly outfits on. And they are also mesmerizing to watch too. And their music is equally. I mean I, I still like Krongbin better, but I think it's equally as, as fascinating. It's like a wild mix of Middle Eastern rock, jazz, Prague rock. It's really out there. If you haven't heard it, don't ask me how to spell it because it's really confusing. Both those bands names I can't, Couldn't spell if you ask. A K, H, R, A U, G, B, H, I, N or something like that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

And a lot of new great bands hitting the scene. I feel like, I feel like we went for, through a lull there early late teens where I didn't find a whole bunch of new music that I like. That's probably not true because I could probably recall some of them, but now there are some really unique, talented bands that I just love listening to. And I feel like I'm in love with music a little bit now where I haven't been maybe in the last, like, I don't know, maybe during the pandemic. Ish. At the beginning of the pandemic, even before that. Not a great bands out there. So I don't know why I'm saying this to you, but I just felt like it. And then there's that Frankie Valli who they keep running out onto stage. Have you seen this? Frankie Valli? Let me Google this for you. This is highly disturbing. Everybody in the audience right now. Google or Instagram.

[Chrissy]

Pull over.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Frankie Valley. Pull over. Or don't pull over, just, you know, get a ticket. Frankie Valli. Okay, Frankie Valli. Here he is. Look at how highly disturbing this is. Look at 90.

[Chrissy]

I was going to say I thought he was elderly.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

He's 90.

[Chrissy]

Oh my God. Is he singing that or is that.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

There are so many. This is the most confusing thing in the world. I would call myself a professional lip sync finder. I know. I always know. Like if I watch our video and we are a millisecond off. I know. And it bothers me and I have to go fix it. Like the audio and the video married together. If we're a millisecond off. I know, I know that my lips aren't moving exactly in sync. It happens on the tv. Sometimes Astro's like, I don't even know what you're talking about. And I'm like, oh, yeah, there's audio is a second behind the video or whatever. I consider myself a professional lip sync finder. And I can tell. Just give me five seconds of video of someone singing and if they're lip syncing, I will figure it out. And I'm sure there's a lot of people out there like this too. I'm always paying attention to a singer's lips because I don't know, I just like to watch. That has always been fascinating to me. Frankie Valli seem. The microphone seems to be picking up everything that he is doing. The way his lips are moving. But if you've now watched this, if you paused and watched Frankie Valli as of late in a live show, he's on tour right now. He doesn't really move his mouth. He doesn't open it. But the microphone seems to be picking up exactly what little lip movement is going on. First of all, how are you 90 and singing in that register is my question. Because your voice starts to go at some point. Your vocal cords start to fray. That's just part of getting old. Just listen to my crazy, crappy, shitty voice. But then on top of that, he just looks like a dead person walking. Like he really does. He can't move a lot. And so many people are debating this. And Frankie came out with a statement. And also so many people are saying, why are you keep on pushing Frankie out on stage? Clearly he's not well. Clearly he needs to be resting and relaxing. And he put out a statement saying there are, you know, we put on an amazing show. We have lots of professional singers and professional instrumentalists and professional stage crew and that. And he was kind of addressing the lip syncing thing, but he never really said whether or not he was lip syncing. He just said we layer our vocals.

[Chrissy]

Well, yeah, all that other stuff, there's gotta be a back.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

There's somebody behind the curtain. Yeah. That has to be singing a little bit louder. But the other thing I've noticed is there's auto tune in there too. It's not his natural voice. They're auto tuning him and so. But I do think it's a little bit of elderly abuse. Because he's 90. He shouldn't be out there like that. He wants to be, maybe.

[Brian Green]

Do we really.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

At 90, do you even know what you want?

[Brian Green]

Like.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

I mean, honestly, let's be honest about Biden's 83. What?

[Brian Green]

83?

[Kristen Joy Hill]

84. Biden's 84. And you know, we all saw that debate. We all, we couldn't look away. It was kind of a train wreck because as you get older, that's just what happens. You revert back to some weird childhood stasis with your body all weird. And the reality is for Frankie, he should be relaxing and enjoying the fruits of his labors. But I think some, you know, his estate is probably saying, you could do this, Frankie, get out there, Frankie, you're going to love it.

[Brian Green]

Frankie, he's 90. He can't move. He can't move his mouth.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

He's 90. It's like Jimmy Carter, you know, when they rolled him out there with his mouth wide open, there's like flies going in. And I thought to myself, that's a beautiful moment for the family, but do the cameras really need to be there?

[Brian Green]

Come on, I mean, let's, let's give.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

The guy some dignity. He's a fucking.

[Chrissy]

He's 100.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

He's 100. He built 50,000 houses for people that needed them. I mean, the guy's a legend. It would go down as one of the best former presidents ever.

[John Zahn]

Yes.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Frankie Valli is just going to go out as the guy who had weird lip syncing auto tune going on in the last years of his life. I don't know, go out with some big Frankie. That's my opinion. I don't like Frankie Valli in the Four Tops. I never have. I don't.

[Chrissy]

Is it Frankie, because you're not from the 50s? 30s for you.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

30S, yeah. That's the music that plays in my mom's senior citizen home when I go in there, it's like, you know.

[Chrissy]

We'Re gonna have Alice and James and ours.

[Brian Green]

I know they've come to snuff the rooster. Oh yeah, I'm still alive.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

And my kids are gonna be walking through going, what's this shitty ass old music? I know, I mean, at least play some Krong bin. I mean, come on, put it together. Get it together in here.

[Brian Green]

You know what I'm saying? Get it together in here. Get it together.

[Chrissy]

The villages.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yeah, the villages. Oh, that Villages is wild down there. Have you been seeing the video coming out of there?

[Chrissy]

I, I mean, I've seen some to do with the politics.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

It is politics. There's now like a big Harris Trump.

[Brian Green]

There's going to be a civil war.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Down in the villages. But I was watching a video, it was like the Villages, Wednesday night, right? And the guy walks. He must walk a quarter of a mile. And it is golf cart to golf cart. I mean, inches. One inch between each golf cart, just parked. They're all out to ease, like 5, 15. And they're all, you know, in the restaurants, eating down in the Villages before they go and, you know, snort crystal meth and screw each other to death. Bend the world over as. As our boy would say. Yes. Our boy, John Zahn would say. It's just insane. I listen, I applaud it. I think it's great. I think this is what Frankie Valli should be doing. He should be riding his golf cart around, partying with those people down in the Villages, because he'd be a legend down there.

[Brian Green]

He's a legend.

[Chrissy]

You know, he'd be the hit.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Oh, he'd be getting. He'd be bending everybody over. He can't. But he can bend somebody else over. They can bend over.

[Brian Green]

He can get at it. I don't know if he can move.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

His hips so well.

[Brian Green]

I don't know if he's got that.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Thrusting, penetrating thing that you need to kind of get that Johnson energy. But you know what I'm saying, like, that's where he should be at. My opinion. That's where he should be.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

It's like I was reading up on the kind of, like, the touring industry, right? And how 2022 shows come back a little bit with some rules and stuff like that. People go bananas. They're buying tickets. They're spending tens of thousands of dollars to see T. Swift in 2023 and 2024. There, every ticket is being bought. No matter who you are, you'd be the shittiest band in the world, and you were getting a full house because everybody wanted to come back and do something and be in this kind of social collective and feel people and touch them.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. And a lot of people actually had money to spend, too.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

But 2024, starting in spring, has not been so kind to the touring industry. A lot of festivals have been canceled. A lot of shows have been canceled, including Jennifer Lopez. Like, she couldn't even get a tour to be financially, you know, solvent. She had to cancel her tour. And so I was reading up about Pearl Jam, because I like Pearl Jam, and I was reading up about their latest tour and how some people in Europe, the European shows were attended, but not as well as the American shows, where it's like, sell out, sell out, sell out, sellout. They were sold out, but barely. Like, they would get Sold out, like, you know, 10 minutes before the show or something. That ticket sales were not as hot there because people in Europe were like, I'm not paying 400 fucking dollars to see Pearl Jam. And the Pearl Jam tickets have now gotten super expensive, too, because as people get older, they get more expendable cash. They become more settled in their life. They're able to pay for $500 to see Pearl Jam and Wrigley or Pearl Jam in Philly or whatever it is. But also, they were. There was an interview where they were asking the band, like, hey, do you still like touring? And the bassist, Jeff Ahmed said, wrong question. And some people on this messaging board were saying that Jeff, for. For almost a decade has been saying, not my favorite part of the job. It's not my thing. I don't mind being in studio. I don't mind making music. I don't mind going out and doing a live show every once in a while. Touring, not my favorite.

[Chrissy]

It's gotta be a grind.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

They've been doing it for 30 years. 30 plus years. They've been just going tour after tour after tour with few breaks. They've taken breaks, but few breaks. And now they're on another tour supporting the album. I think it's almost finished. Some people were saying, like, listen, the reason why ticket prices might be so expensive, too, is because they know they're getting toward the end of that touring phase of their career, that they might just now do special shows here and there. Like a couple shows in Wrigley a year, or Eddie Vedder puts on this Ohana Fest, where now Pearl Jam has taken to playing every once in a blue moon, just go to the Ohana Fest, just do Wrigley, just do Philly, just do, you know, whatever. Just do these special shows. And a lot like Fish has done, they've gone from doing, you know, 280 nights a year to, like, I don't know what it is, 40, 60 nights a year. But they're all events, and people like to go to them, and they, you know, they want to see them.

[Chrissy]

Special thing.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

A special thing. They don't have to be out the road so long. They don't have to, like, expend so much energy. They don't have to get, you know, plane, bus, cab, whatever, limo, whatever it is. And so that seems to me to be like a natural. Let's wind it down. These guys are in their fifties now. Pearl Jam is. They're in their fifties. So. So fish. They're in their 50s. They're lucky. They're all still alive.

[Brian Green]

You know, as the song would say.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

They'Re lucky they're all still alive. This just seems like to be a natural wind down of age.

[Brian Green]

Like, hey, until you hit 90.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yeah, until you hit 90, that's right. But I mean, back down the road, like if you're 90 and you're Eddie Vedder and God love, all those guys are still alive, I think Jeff Ahmed is closer to 60, actually. I think he might be 61 years old. If they're all still together. Like get together every once in a blue moon, play the villages or, you know, whatever.

[Brian Green]

Like play a good play of a.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Show that you unite for. But to be out on tour like Frankie Valli is, I mean, the guys that are in their 50s don't even. Don't even think that's kosher. They're starting to wind down too. He's in his 90s. He shouldn't be doing a 60 night tour. That's insane.

[Brian Green]

It's like those Eagles at the Sphere.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

I noticed there's not so much footage coming out. You remember when the Dead played?

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

And every other fucking reel was about how, you know, rich people went to the Sphere to see the Dead night after night after night. And fish. Every fucking video on my Instagram for two weeks with nothing but fish.

[Brian Green]

Sphere.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

And then who were the first ones?

[Chrissy]

The cool visual part, which the Sphere is very. I mean, that's the main attraction.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

That's why you go.

[Chrissy]

Is the visual. Yeah, part of it.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

You can see your favorite band.

[Chrissy]

But I did wonder when I was there, because I did go to one of those Dead nights. But I did wonder when I was there, I was like, what are the Eagles going to do? Well, I saw part.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

I saw one.

[Chrissy]

You could do a big Hotel California or Light Driving Down Life in the Fast Lane. I don't know, but that's.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

I don't.

[Chrissy]

I can't think of anything else you could do.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

They did like, you know, Hotel California. They did like, you know, coastal views or something. That's what I was reading for Boys of Summer. It's like two people in a pool doing like a, you know, aerobic. What do they call them, aqua ballet or something like that. Yeah, not exactly like the most stunning.

[Brian Green]

Now, then again, I don't know if.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

The Eagles crowd is taking LSD and, you know, drinking Special K and just getting themselves beyond belief where a lot of the other shows you might. But, you know, the Eagles have been on a goodbye tour since 1999. And if you think that's A joke. Go look it up. They really have. It's crazy.

[Chrissy]

They keep on going, laughing about that. Because I said, why do people keep saying farewell tour or goodbye tour? He was like, I know. People just, just be like, this is the last show. Maybe.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

That's what we're gonna say.

[Brian Green]

Our final show. Maybe tour, maybe final. Maybe show. Yeah, maybe our final show.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

You want to get the tickets while they're still on sale, which they will be. Don't worry. Yeah, I don't get it. But, hey, listen, I'm not, But far be it for me to tell people how to make a living. But I, you know, I, I, I think the Pearl Jam thing sounds, Listen.

[Brian Green]

If you think I'm going to be.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Doing this show at fucking 90, you're right. Because we get about $50 per episode.

[Brian Green]

And if I want to keep my kids in school and my wife and.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

I want to be fed, then we're going to have that.

[Chrissy]

Because your youngest will just be still.

[Brian Green]

My youngest will be seven, and then I'll still have to get her through high school. It's kind of true. I have so many kids at such an old age.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

I mean, I'm not old, whatever. But, you know, you get. The point is, I didn't have him at 20. I waited till later on in life. I waited until I found my dearly devoted beloved.

[Brian Green]

Beloved.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Sorry.

[Brian Green]

That I was devoted to.

[Chrissy]

All right.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

And speaking of, for the last two episodes we've been doing, John's on. We're trying to get to. We're hoping he makes a point in anything.

[Chrissy]

I know he's finally starting to talk about meeting a girl. Speaking to a woman.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Meeting a woman. After 30 minutes of babbling nonsense. Yes.

[Chrissy]

Philosophizing, rocking chair philosophy, telling us how.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

He'S going to avoid talking about, about social issues. While talking about social issues.

[Chrissy]

You know, just skirt around him.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Just skirting around him.

[Brian Green]

Just go around him.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

The guy is basically just bullshitting his way through the first half of this, and he's now finally getting to some meat and potatoes that a poor artist, I would imagine, should, which is telling people how to pick up women. And so we feel like we're going to give this a shot. We're going to give it another two segments, probably another 12 minutes of Zahn talking, and we'll see if he can make a point. Now, don't blame us. Blame us if this goes sideways. We'll try and make the best of it. Okay, you're getting episodes. Even though I'm probably at my Neck cut open and Chrissy's still hungover from Mempho three weeks later. We need that. We need to get that ZBiotics really quickly.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, we do.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

No, sorry, I couldn't. I couldn't perform that miracle before you left. But anyway, we'll talk about that more in November. Okay, let's take a break and then we'll be back with Jean Zone.

[Podcast Announcer]

I know this sounds crazy because we are a podcast, but we have a phone number because we are also a sentient AI chatbot being designed to receive compliments and content ideas at 212-4333, TCB. So crazy how that works. If you want to follow us on Instagram, our handle is at the commercial break and our TikTok handle is @TCB podcast. So go find our profile and watch the videos we painstakingly put together for you and our 20 other followers. If you find yourself wanting more, check out our website@tcb podcast.com because you can find all of our audio and full length video episodes. And if you just do all of those things, we will love you forever. Bye.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

All right, let's see where he goes with this. Jean's on.

[Chrissy]

He revealed because his stage name is Zahn.

[Podcast Announcer]

So.

[Chrissy]

But he revealed throughout the course of his ramblings earlier that his first name is actually John John and his middle name Zahn. So John's on.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

John's on.

[Chrissy]

That's what his parents named him.

[Brian Green]

Bitcoin. That's fair.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

All right, let's do it.

[Brian Green]

Hot swap.

[John Zahn]

And that's all you need.

[Chrissy]

He just got done saying that. He went, all you have to do is go up and talk to a woman and declare convincingly, I found you attractive and I wanted to meet you.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Aristotle's first principles are, start with what.

[Brian Green]

You know is true.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

So by saying to yourself, that girl is attractive.

[Brian Green]

That's true.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Saying to yourself, I want to go meet that girl. That's true. And then just go up to her and tell her those two things. You're hot. I want to meet you. I'm going to power down now.

[Brian Green]

Ack ack.

[John Zahn]

So I'm watching the time here. I'll get some water.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Watching the time, you're trying to figure.

[Brian Green]

Out how much you have remaining. Like, shit, Let me drink some water. That'll kill three seconds, by the way. Been there, done that on stage. Been there, done that. You know, you've lost them. They're nowhere. You're confused. You don't know what you're saying. And you're like, well, let me take.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Six big gulps of water into the microphone. And that should settle things down a little bit.

[Brian Green]

I wonder if they could see the incredibly big armpit stain of sweat.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

My dark blue shirt.

[John Zahn]

Is this landing with you guys?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Because I haven't heard a word out.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Of anybody out of any three of you.

[Brian Green]

Neither of you has said anything. How are you feeling?

[Kristen Joy Hill]

100%. Said one guy. Did you hear that? One guy said 100%. Okay, let's listen again real close.

[John Zahn]

Is this landing with you guys?

[Chrissy]

No, they said yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Wait, he said 100. Did he just fart?

[John Zahn]

He just testified. I'm fascinated by the concept of. I'm writing another book right now.

[Chrissy]

Go back to meeting women.

[Podcast Announcer]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

Landing with you guys.

[John Zahn]

Anyway, briefly here. I'm writing this book. I've been struggling with it for a long time. I got a lot of notes. I have a lot of words written. And I. And. And I see it in my head. And if I can get this book out the way I feel it then that I'm envisioning it, I will love it. Probably more than the alabaster girl. I would love it so much if I get this book out of me.

[Chrissy]

But however, I keep playing Mortal Kombat.

[Brian Green]

But however, I can't stop playing Romanian Mortal Kombat Call of Duty on my computer. Barbara. Barbara, get my book of notes about my book. I could see just like. Like that paper pile in our studio. Just like a pile of papers with random notes. Aristotle, Rocking Chair, Annabeth. Or Girl. Oh, I already wrote that one.

[John Zahn]

Prolific. I'm not a blogger. I don't write a bunch of essays. Right. So I pick at it and look at it.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Oh.

[John Zahn]

But I think I'm gonna break it into two, bro. Into two books.

[Brian Green]

Oh, great.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I can't wait to hear more rambling.

[John Zahn]

Because I'm writing this. I want to write a it. It's two different concepts. One is the concept of men. What I'm talking about here. Now a man talking to his younger self. What I would have liked to hear from that future self.

[Brian Green]

Where's the Amazon pre order link?

[Chrissy]

Please, please tell us about your goals.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yeah. Okay.

[Brian Green]

Now tell us about book number two. I bet he never gets around to it, you know?

[John Zahn]

So I'm thinking about breaking into two books. The idea of self help, which is, imagine this. We didn't have self help in all of history.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Oh my God, you are so wrong about. I know how to win friends and influence people.

[Brian Green]

Or something like that.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

How to influence people and win friends. I forget how he said it.

[Brian Green]

That was written by Rockefeller. Was it written by Rockefeller? I think so. Like a hundred years ago. Do you think Jesus Christ might have been about South Hell? Jesus Jones, have mercy. That is the dumbest statement you have.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Said so far and there's been a couple doozies.

[John Zahn]

It's new.

[Chrissy]

I think, I think that sounds like us.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Brian Greene giving a speech.

[Brian Green]

The concept of podcasting started in May of 2020 when commercial break broke new ground.

[John Zahn]

Is it not new?

[Brian Green]

I think, I think, I think. What's her name? It's Krongbin, isn't it?

[Kristen Joy Hill]

I think I actually looked it up because I kept on calling it Karagabin.

[John Zahn]

We have this idea that before I can be standing on this earth as a. As a well rounded, confident man, I have to resolve my childhood because my childhood sucked. Had all this abuse and all stuff happen to me. I've got to resolve my childhood. So I have to go to therapy. I have to medicate, which is our modern theme.

[Chrissy]

He looks like he really does.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Those eyes have not opened more than half mast the entire time.

[John Zahn]

Give it this way. There has never been a happy childhood in any culture in any century.

[Brian Green]

What? Geez, that's kind of a depressing statement. I mean, you're right, but that's kind of a depressing. I think childhood in general is rough because it's developmental and you go through.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Rough periods where you just don't know what to do with yourself, who you are, what the world around you means. It's not meant to be easy, dude.

[Brian Green]

That's why therapists are therapists.

[John Zahn]

All childhoods were broken. The children were. Were hungry. Disease, famine, migration. Mother gets. Can't feed herself because she's feeding the children. Sister gets dragged away and raped. Dad gets dragged off to war.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

What?

[Brian Green]

What a depressing view. No, I was thinking more about my daddy didn't love me when I scored that goal.

[Chrissy]

I know, right? He was at the game.

[Brian Green]

Second game of the playoffs. And U7 soccer.

[John Zahn]

In no happy childhoods in all of history. We're the first generation that says I have to resolve. I have to come to terms with it. All other children in history said, okay, that sucked. I'm out. I'm head. I'm out of here, man. They go build cities.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

What?

[Brian Green]

Have you built your city yet, Chrissy?

[Chrissy]

I have not.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

You know what?

[Brian Green]

I built this city. I built this city on rock and ro.

[John Zahn]

We're the only ones that navel, gaze and say, no, no, no. How come? Nurture me. Nurture me. We're the only generation that does that, Imagine this, you say to me, oh, I, yeah, I went on an adventure. I traveled. I backpacked across Europe for a year. That's not an adventure. You went from ATM to ATM and you could all call, call mom if you run out of money.

[Brian Green]

I have no idea where we're going. But now I think it's like we're not going to get a point.

[Chrissy]

I don't think so.

[Brian Green]

I mean, it's funny.

[Chrissy]

We were rooting for you.

[Brian Green]

You almost had a point.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yeah. And then you started talking about your two part book. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And you only, you only had one part and now you're talking about going from ATM to ATM on a backpacking through Europe. That's an adventure. Adventure doesn't need to be qualified by danger.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Dude, that's not it.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[John Zahn]

300 years ago, those young men would go into the sea in a wooden ship. They had no medical insurance, they didn't have their savings saved up. They just went one way. They don't know where they're going. We have to have everything all plotted and planned and comforted. Comfort, comfort.

[Brian Green]

So the second part of my book is dedicated to learning how to build a ship to go one way somewhere.

[Chrissy]

You don't know, sans medical center, medical.

[Brian Green]

Insurance, atms and.

[John Zahn]

Comfort. We have so much comfort around us and we complain the most and we, and we, and we say, I'm a victim and I need counseling. And I'm not against, you know, careful counseling where it's needed.

[Brian Green]

Right, right, right. Am I right?

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Is this landing? Are you all in therapy yet? Careful, careful counseling. Be careful with the counseling. It gets dangerous out there. Careful, careful counseling. Like he's qualified to tell you what to do.

[John Zahn]

I know, but I tell you. Self help. 20 years ago I said the number one genre of books in the world is romance novels. That was true back then. You know what it is now? Self help books. Everybody's got those books on their shelf and you can always buy another one, you don't read them.

[Chrissy]

So before 2020.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yes, before 2020, before 2003, there was no self help.

[Chrissy]

No, self help was romance zero.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

And the number one was romance novels.

[Brian Green]

With Fabio on the front cover.

[John Zahn]

Because I got the answer right there, right within. I have the. Oh, and. Oh, this one. Yeah, this one. And I'll buy this one too. And we have a little affirmations and a little Facebook things we stick on.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

I think Harper Collins is knocking down.

[Brian Green]

This guy's door to get at this book concept. 10 million dollar advance on this concept.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, you got a huge Advance?

[John Zahn]

Yeah, you don't need it. You know what?

[Brian Green]

Wait, hold on. Would pua.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Would seduction, coaching, would romance, whatever you fucking call it, that makes it sound a lot more slick than it is. Wouldn't all of those books, videos, cassettes, seminars, conferences, wouldn't those fall under the self help category?

[Brian Green]

Yes, Yes.

[John Zahn]

I had a broken childhood. I won't even go into that. I was. I left home when I was 13.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

You already told us.

[Brian Green]

You just told us. I think this guy should check his parathyroid. I think he's got high calcium.

[John Zahn]

I went into the wilderness.

[Chrissy]

I'm not even going to go into it. But you've gone into it.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yeah, I'm not going to even go.

[Brian Green]

Into it because I just went.

[Chrissy]

Here's what happened.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but here's what happened. I went into the wilderness at 13.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

At the wilderness.

[Brian Green]

In my suburban home.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

In Michigan.

[Brian Green]

Between the 7 and 11 and my school. There were some woods and I went in there. The wilderness. The wilderness. I've been into the wilderness, too. The wilderness.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

That's like the Appalachian Trail in Maine.

[John Zahn]

Is the wilderness already in the wilderness? I went further into the wilderness. No electricity, no running water. Had a knife on my side, a rifle on my back.

[Chrissy]

13.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

By the way, I have never been.

[Chrissy]

A rifle on my back and my.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Rifle on my bag, knife in my pocket.

[Brian Green]

Like Davy, Davy, Davy Crockett, King of the middle old woods next to his house.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

13.

[Brian Green]

13. By the way, I have never been into any farm forest ever where there's running water or electricity. I think that's why they call it the forest Otherworld. Otherwise you're at the Magic Kingdom.

[John Zahn]

As a kid. Teenager. And I helped a trapper named John Terry run a trap line. That's what I did.

[Chrissy]

A trapper named Trapper ran away and helped and assisted. A trapper.

[Brian Green]

A trapper.

[Chrissy]

The wilderness.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Run. A pound of cocaine.

[John Zahn]

I know how to survive in the wilderness. I had to start a fire with my hands. You know how to catch a fish with my hands?

[Kristen Joy Hill]

You catch a fish with your hands.

[Brian Green]

Have you seen those people?

[Kristen Joy Hill]

The mud? Yes, mud.

[Brian Green]

Whatever they call them.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

God.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, the catfish thing.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yeah, that's why.

[Chrissy]

I don't know.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Leave him alone. Why are you sticking your fist down? Why are you sticking your fist in a fish mouth?

[Brian Green]

I don't get it.

[John Zahn]

200 miles away from any civilization.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

200 miles away from civilization.

[Brian Green]

I call. Yes.

[Chrissy]

Nothing but a knife and a weapon on your back. And a rifle on your back.

[Brian Green]

How did you get that? Did you take a cab? Because you know how long it would take you to walk 200 miles into this, into the woods at the least.

[Chrissy]

Find yourself at 13, then that's when you find the trapper.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yeah, that's.

[Brian Green]

Hey, just 13 year old Jones on with my gun and my knife and my shitty drawers for me. Yeah. Oh, look there. Yay old ye man. Hey, friend. Hey, I'm Trapper. Trapper, that's what they call me. Trapper John, M.D. my television show just got canceled, but I'm trying to trap some beavers. Would you like to help me? Young 13 year old boy in the middle of the woods with no parents but a gun on his shoulder. And we became fast friends and maybe lovers, but I'll get to that point in therapy later.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

200 miles.

[Brian Green]

200 miles, are you kidding? That's from you.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

That's here to pass making.

[Brian Green]

That's here to Savannah.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Where in the world were you? Canada. Like in the north of Canada?

[John Zahn]

No, not 260 miles away. Sorry.

[Brian Green]

I get those numbers mixed up all the time. I even call on 60, I say.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Six miles away from civilization.

[John Zahn]

Enough way there was. It's a major trip to go into town to get supplies and I helped with the traffic.

[Brian Green]

A 60 mile journey, that's six days, dude.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

I mean if you're walking, that's six days.

[John Zahn]

My formal education ended at 13. I have not gone to school since 13 years old.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Well, it doesn't show.

[Chrissy]

Well, I know that might explain some things here.

[John Zahn]

I'm an uneducated bum. I was a homeless bum too for a long time. As I was traveling at 18, I looked around, realized there's no girls. I gotta get out of here because I love girls.

[Brian Green]

I love ladies. I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue here in 3,000 miles into the wilderness because I love large lady lumps. I looked at Trapper and I said, you don't have a vagina. I'm out ski. I'm gonna start my 300 year hike out of these woods.

[John Zahn]

And I came out into the world, into the world. And I was completely unequipped. Socially, I was the most needy.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Hanging out with Trapper for five years.

[Brian Green]

I don't know Trapper, but I can only meet in the wilderness 600 yards from your house. Can you imagine you're being your parents. And he's like, where did Jon Zahn go? I just saw him. He's in the front of the neighborhood with that weird old guy who pretends he's trapping beavers. We live in Detroit, there's no beavers.

[John Zahn]

There's The. The most needy, petty. Sticky.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Sticky.

[Brian Green]

What happened out there? What happened out there in the wilderness?

[Chrissy]

He might have been at a party in the woods.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's true. I've been 200 miles in the wilderness. I was really only 5, but it felt 200 miles away.

[John Zahn]

Jealous guy. Because I didn't know how to sticky.

[Brian Green]

I didn't go to Sticky.

[John Zahn]

Icky university or college to get some social understanding. I didn't know. I got my understanding from movies. Which. Romantic comedies. You know, which is the guy. The nice guy always wins at the end.

[Chrissy]

And who was he watching the romantic comedies with? The Trapper. And first of all, they didn't have electricity.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, no electricity, no running water.

[Chrissy]

Things aren't adding up.

[Brian Green]

But we had a wilderness movie theater that was built by the bears. And every. Every Friday, all of the wild creatures would get together on a big log.

[Chrissy]

They loved rom coms.

[Brian Green]

And they would put the projector up against the trees and we would watch. We would watch Shallow Hal together.

[Chrissy]

I came out of the wilderness not having any social skills, just only having watched rom coms.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Rom coms. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

He makes himself sound like one of.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Those wolf boys they found in Canada that was raised by wolves.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but they had DirecTV. I guess. I'm not sure.

[John Zahn]

So I was really that guy and I. Yeah, it's embarrassing, you know, back. You know the movie Hitch where he's. Yeah, he's looking. He flashes back to his college days, and he's got braces and the girl's getting into the car with the cool guy, and he's like, leaning against the window crying, I'll be there for you. I saw that in the movie theater. I was like. Because I did the exact same thing.

[Brian Green]

How convenient for the story.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Now, listen, I love a good yarn.

[Brian Green]

Too, and I tell a good yarn. All right, so I'm not casting dispersions.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

But I do have to say that.

[Brian Green]

I mean, I think I wrap it up right.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

I started at the beginning, and I.

[Brian Green]

Might take me a while.

[Chrissy]

You do and a point.

[Brian Green]

Yes. 63% of the time, I wrap up my stories. I meant 16 of the time. Sorry. Okay, let's take a break, and then we'll come back with what has got.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

To be our final segment with John Zahn.

[Brian Green]

I've lost all faith. There's.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

There's no chance he's getting to.

[Chrissy]

Gone way off the bat into the wilderness with this story, if you will.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Trapper. Okay, we'll be back.

[Podcast Announcer]

Call me, Beat me. If you want to reach me at 212-4333, TCB. If you have any comments, questions, compliments or content ideas, that's 212-433-3822. You can also find us on the [e-mail] which is where all of our audio and video lives. So check it out. And then while you're at it, you can follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on Tik Tok at TCV Podcast. That's all for now. So let's have a listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Whoa.

[Brian Green]

All right.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

We'll get to that on a different episode. Yeah, we'll let those details come out. We're. We keep the news on sometimes in here and breaking news, but I don't even want to talk about it because we're with. Jean's on. So here we go.

[Brian Green]

All right.

[John Zahn]

I have an image of me. I'm not kidding. This is embarrassing to say, but I have exact same thing. I'm crying, probably 20 or 19 or something. She's getting on the back of a motorcycle. This girl I was dating getting on the back of a motorcycle with some cool guy. And he's like, who's this guy? Who's this loser? She goes, I don't know this guy. And I'm crying.

[Chrissy]

I don't know. Let's just go, yeah.

[Brian Green]

She's like, I have no idea. He came out of the woods behind the bar all sticky. I was like, hey, dude, you okay? And he was like, I love girls.

[John Zahn]

And I'm saying, I know. I'll be here for you when you come back. Yeah. I was the quintessential nice guy who's.

[Chrissy]

That's the way you want to think of yourself. I tend to think he might have been the quintessential weird guy.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yeah, weird guy. Started getting weird thoughts about women. Started following random plaz around. You picked up the wrong book, dude.

[Brian Green]

You picked up the wrong self care book. You should have got something like Dwayne Dyer or something. Start easy, go easy.

[John Zahn]

And so I'm talking to that young guy. He doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to buy into any of the modern discourse. There's a better beautiful message. My thesis. Well, I'll say it this way. Nietzsche said, God is.

[Brian Green]

Nietzsche said, I ended my education at 13. But Nietzsche said, I mean, that's not.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

To say you have to be educated to know things. Because he does seem like a well spoken human being who knows quoting the Bible from Aristotle.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Zahn]

And everybody knows this Quote, Right. And we think, okay, well, Nietzsche was affirming my atheist beliefs. Yeah, he's an atheist too. Nietzsche was a staunch atheist. But the rest of the quote is this. He said, God is dead. God will remain dead. And we have killed him. So what he was really saying, get ready. Because when you strip God and the transcendent out of modern society.

[Chrissy]

And this has to do with picking women.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

These guys are probably like, I'm in.

[Chrissy]

The front row, I can't leave.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Hi, Mom.

[Brian Green]

I want to tell you now, I used your credit card to buy a ticket to this conference and I'm really sorry. I'm going to try and desperately get my money back. Can I come home? It's Call of Duty still on the computer.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Mom.

[Brian Green]

Mom, Mom.

[John Zahn]

And he was an atheist, but he knew the saving grace and the salvation of community that the concept of God and the transcendent had for. Had for communities around the world. You strip it out and look, we have today political, you know, unrest relationships in, you know, antagonistic.

[Podcast Announcer]

Right.

[Chrissy]

Politics has never been happening before now.

[Brian Green]

If only everybody read the entire quote from Nietzsche, things would not be so bad.

[Chrissy]

Ancient Romans, I mean, that's like.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yeah, the point is not the point. You almost made a point and then you just missed it all together.

[John Zahn]

We used to have.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Everybody wants to romanticize what we used.

[Brian Green]

To have, but the truth is that.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

It was bad then too. If that's the way that you looked at life, it was bad then. Yes, things are tense and shitty is bad, but that doesn't mean that all is lost. And that's, that's the problem, I think with some of these ideologies is that all is lost. But I have the answer.

[Brian Green]

Right? Right.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

And that is a certain type of ego driven that I just don't buy into. You make the choice about how you see the world and what you choose to put out there into it. And I'm just going to go around the rest of the issues. I made your joke twice.

[John Zahn]

That's why we have this turmoil today and this, this angry discourse.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Because of Nietzsche's quote, my thesis is dead.

[John Zahn]

That's what I'm trying to write.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

God is dead and God will remain dead because we killed him.

[John Zahn]

It's hard. The alabaster girl came out of my experience, 100% my experience for 10 years I wrote that book. And the whole time I was writing it, I never read a book. And I love books. I go to an airport, I forgot.

[Chrissy]

That part of the story. Ten years he didn't read a book.

[Brian Green]

I Didn't read a book for 10 years.

[Chrissy]

I was working on my book, and.

[Brian Green]

Then another 10 years, and then an addition edition of 10 years. And then I wrote my book and I read it and I said, hey, that's not half bad. So now my entire bookshelf is filled with the alabaster girl. I'm gonna have to read something I know. See what it's all about.

[John Zahn]

Of bookstores. I'd go into a bookstore and I'd be in there for like, three minutes. I'm like, I felt guilty because I should be working on my book and not. And I also didn't want to influence it anyway, so I didn't read a book for 10 years. I'm no kidding.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

And I also haven't listened to another.

[Brian Green]

Podcast in four or five years.

[John Zahn]

I dumped it out of my system and it was like it was vomited out of me and I was empty. I did public speaking for the next two years after that, I'm like, I have nothing to say.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you still have nothing to say.

[John Zahn]

And I'd start to tell a little story or anecdote, and people in the audience go, yeah, yeah. As I'm saying it, because they read it. My books and I have stalled. So.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Oops.

[John Zahn]

As you can tell, I don't talk about Whoopsie.

[Brian Green]

He's breaking out the best subs, but he forgot the lyrics.

[John Zahn]

Anything. I know I'm talking about what I'm interested in knowing, what I'm curious about right now, what I'm thinking about when I sit in my rocking chair. This is what I'm thinking. That's cool.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Chrissy. This is an hour and 15 minutes long.

[Brian Green]

Unbelievably, three episodes in. We are just now reaching the halfway point. Point.

[Chrissy]

Oh, my God.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Giving you another five minutes to make a point, and then I'm done. So I wouldn't be able to stay awake during this. I really wouldn't. I'd be like, if you weren't here laughing with me, I would be like.

[John Zahn]

Nietzsche said, God is dead. And what we have, the. This, the. The symptoms.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

What's that?

[Chrissy]

Think about the poor people there in the audience.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

I know. I feel like he went from pois to, like, you know, benevolent patriarch. Like he's trying to be some master.

[Brian Green]

You know, guru, Right.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

That people are following on his thesis. Yeah, he's working on a fiefdom is what he's working on now.

[Brian Green]

My thief.

[John Zahn]

So scratchy. The symptom of our modern times is that we've. We've turned our face away. This is my what I 100 believe. We've turned her face away in all things. In art, in architecture, in relationships and politics. We've turned our face away from beauty and we celebrate ugliness.

[Brian Green]

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

In art and architecture, we've turned it away. We've turned away from beauty. Everything's ugly.

[John Zahn]

Art, for example.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Oh, there we go.

[John Zahn]

Where's Arthur? Is he here?

[Chrissy]

Where's Arthur?

[Brian Green]

Where's Art? He's ugly.

[John Zahn]

Right?

[Brian Green]

Art, that's terrible.

[Chrissy]

He just said, where's Arthur?

[Brian Green]

I know.

[Chrissy]

And, and Arthur's not there.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I know, but the other thing is, is that Arthur, short for art, is short for Arthur. Everything's ugly. Art, for example. Where's Arthur? Look at him.

[John Zahn]

Used to be about the art to show you something, to give you a transcendent experience into, into, into something beyond. And now it's all about the artist. How can I shock you? Look at me. Celebrate me. Our symptom of our, of our self medicated victim, me, me, me generation.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Oh, now you're just sounding like an old man, bitching and complaining.

[Brian Green]

Dude.

[John Zahn]

So we've turned Art now was like on a stick or Tracy Emmons unmade bed bought by the Tate Museum in London for €2,000. No, €2 million with my saying.

[Brian Green]

I was about to say 2,000 doesn't. I wouldn't even get out of the unmade bed. But 2 million.

[Chrissy]

Well, 260. Never mind. Okay, wait, 2,000. No, wait, 2 million.

[Brian Green]

2 million 60. 2,472. There you go.

[John Zahn]

€2 million. Her unmade badge said there's some vodka bottles and a used condom and she sold it to the Tate Museum. It's still there.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Use condom.

[John Zahn]

Gathering dust and some mold on it and stuff because they paid 2,2 million pounds for it. So it's.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yeah, but this is someone's interpretation of art. Is someone's interpretation of art. It's always been that way.

[Podcast Announcer]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

When some, you know, when whatever, Da.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Vinci rolled out a guy with a.

[Brian Green]

Big schlong, people were probably like, why are you putting a big, big guy with a schlong out there?

[Kristen Joy Hill]

But now it's the most, you know, one of the most beautiful pieces of art ever.

[Brian Green]

There's.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

This has always been that way.

[Chrissy]

Van Gogh died poor.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

That's right. Artists are always celebrated after they're dead because people find the more and more people find the beauty in what they did and the feeling that it gives them. An unmade bed, to me, gives me a feeling of ocd. So for me, I wouldn't choose to.

[Brian Green]

To.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

To look at that. But for a lot of people, it might. Might symbolize a long night, or it might symbolize that lover that left you or whatever. You know what I'm saying, Chrissy?

[Chrissy]

I do.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Now I'm trying to. Now I'm trying to answer back to Zahn. I've been roped in thoroughly.

[John Zahn]

Look at me, look at me. Notice me, look at me. And art used to be about giving you an experience to connect to the. The transcendent, the divine. I don't care if you're religious or not. I don't care if you believe in God or not. All, here's the thing. Whether you're Buddhist or Muslim, Christian, atheist, you know what? The common denominator. We all have.

[Brian Green]

They all want money.

[John Zahn]

We all have the longing for beauty. We all get a tear when we see a painting that moves us.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

And what does that have to do.

[Brian Green]

With which religion you are? All right, we tried.

[Chrissy]

We gave it all.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

We gave it all.

[Brian Green]

We got good shot.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

A forever, Chrissy.

[Brian Green]

A forever.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

I feel proud of us.

[Brian Green]

I feel proud of us.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

And we lasted this long. Into Jean Zon Jean.

[Brian Green]

And for. To break the fourth wall a little bit.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

All done in one day. So Chrissy and I have literally been listening to this guy for like, four hours straight. Of course, we drag it out that long, we probably could have just listened in one hour and then made commentary later.

[Brian Green]

But that's not how we do it.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Here at the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

We go around the easy way.

[John Zahn]

True.

[Brian Green]

Why take the shortcut when you could.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Take the highway and get in traffic?

[Brian Green]

All right, well, John Zahn, best of you, my friend. Best to you.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

I. I love you as a human being. I love you. One human being to another. I hope you're doing well.

[Chrissy]

Do that thesis.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Get that thesis. Do those two books, you know, Lord of the Rings 1 and 2, or whatever you're working.

[Brian Green]

Whatever that is.

[Chrissy]

That's like Middle Earth talk.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Yeah, what is it?

[Brian Green]

The Iliad in the Odyssey. I hope. I hope you get around to it, bud. Oh, yeah, okay. All right.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Hey, listen, you know, over the next couple of weeks, you're gonna hear some best ofs, you're gonna hear some mixing.

[Brian Green]

Maybe an episode from Tina from last year. An episode for a bastard night.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

We're gonna get it done.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

We're gonna. We're gonna pull through this together. I really appreciate all of the support, love, and the grace that you have given me. After we canceled the shows and I announced that I'm pretty sick, but I'm gonna get better.

[Podcast Announcer]

You are?

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Prognosis is good. Everything's gonna be wonderful. So to all of you, love you, mean it, and we'll be back just as soon as we can. I mean, you're gonna hear fresh episodes, so don't worry about not. You're not going to notice. But we're going to notice.

[Brian Green]

So I'll, I will update you when we update you. 212-4333. TCV 212 433-3822.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas? We take them all at that phone number. Dial us up, text us, leave us a voicemail. We would love to hear from you.

[Brian Green]

I want that voicemail full by the time I get back.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

TCBpodcast.com all the audio, all the video and your free sticker at the contact us button. I want my free sticker. Give us your address at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break. All right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for October.

[Chrissy]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

But I'll tell you that I love you.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you and best you out.

[Kristen Joy Hill]

There in the podcast universe. Until next time. We always say, we do say and.

[Brian Green]

We must say goodbye. I get ass.