It Ain't Easy Being Teen

Summary

The Commercial Break - "It Ain't Easy Being Teen" (Feb 6, 2024)

Episode Overview

On this episode of The Commercial Break, hosts Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley riff on everything from parenting meltdowns to packing for family trips, from the absurdities of social media regulation to the dumpster fire that is Nextdoor. True to the show’s irreverent improv-comedy vibe, the discussion swerves between mock-philosophy, personal anecdotes, pop culture hot takes, and plenty of playful banter. The duo touch on weightier themes around the impact of the internet on kids, but always pull it back to comedy – whether that’s oversharing about Starbuck’s new olive-oil drinks or brainstorming the Urban Dictionary meaning for “quotidian.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Word of the Day Banter: "Bonhomie" & "Quotidian"

• [00:56–03:15]:
  • Bryan recounts using “bonhomie” with his daughter after an 80-minute pajama-related meltdown:

    “You’re not being very bonhomie.”

  • Krissy introduces “quotidian” (daily, mundane) as the new word of the day.
  • Bryan’s comedic interpretation:

    “That’s when you draw quotes on someone’s tits.” ([02:01])

  • They joke about “The Quotidian Break” as a podcast slogan (“It’s boring and mundane and you have to listen every day.” [03:07])

2. Life as a Parent: Meltdowns and Suitcase Scenarios

• [05:07–22:43]:
  • Bryan shares parenting stories:
    • Daughter wanting to wear her Easter dress as pajamas versus saving things for a special day.
    • The kids packing (“one packs sensible, the other everything she owns”).
    • Overpacking confession:

      “Every day I just keep adding to the pile and adding to the pile... you have 32 T-shirts!” ([21:40])

  • Krissy supports the need for ‘options’ and overpacking:

    “I like to have multiple options. You probably do too.” ([20:58])

3. Olive Oil Coffee & Haircare

• [08:41–14:02]:
  • Bryan’s Starbucks run introduces him to the “EVOO Creamy Latte Frate” – i.e. olive oil coffee.

    “Why in the world would they put olive oil in coffee?... Coffee already makes me run to the bathroom every morning. Take extra virgin olive oil and it will slide every bit of food out...” ([09:13])

  • Krissy’s home beauty tip:

    “I put olive oil in my hair as a mask – just pour it in your hands, put it in the ends, twist it up.” ([10:18], [12:05])

  • Laughter about whether her husband participates in ‘EVOO nights.’

4. The Problem with Social Media for Kids (and Adults)

• [26:21–36:31]:
  • Bryan watches the Senate hearings on social media, laments lack of regulation:

    “Social media companies are so powerful... they can basically impose their will by just lobbying.” ([29:13])

  • Krissy jokes adults can be jealous online all they want but kids are more at risk.
  • Process for moderating flagged content is “horrific,” including mental health breaks for moderators:

    “If it’s that bad, isn’t – I’m not talking about grown-ass adults… but children exploited for profit…” ([33:32])

  • Bryan’s nostalgia:

    “The worst thing I saw before I was 13 was Cinemax softcore porn and the Sears catalog where I thought I saw a nipple...” ([34:11])

5. “It Ain’t Easy Being Teen” — Existential Angst and Technology

• [35:09–36:31]:
  • Bryan’s conversation with a chiropractor who claims teens’ existential crises and mental health struggles are “way more complex”:

    “We have more in common with our grandparents’ generation than with our kids... They have crises at 13.”* ([35:34])

  • He agrees:

    “Our parents didn’t have to deal with this... It’s scary.” ([35:46])

6. Nextdoor: Where Crazy Never Sleeps

• [36:32–43:00]:
  • Bryan and Krissy advocate for social media regulation—not just for kids, but for the elderly on Nextdoor.
  • Hilarious examples:
    • Groceries delivered to the wrong address with personal info posted ([37:19])
    • Raccoons misidentified as ‘tigers’ and “trash tigers” in the neighborhood ([38:19])
    • Over-sharing, posting phone numbers, spotting “prostitutes” at Starbucks.
    • Rampant, unfounded accusations:

      “No one’s giving free fentanyl to the kids. If that happened, I wouldn’t be here…” ([44:06])

  • Krissy proposes a Nextdoor reading segment:

    “We should do a segment where we read Nextdoor posts…they are so insane you can’t believe it.” ([41:08])

7. Relationship Quandaries (Dear Abby & Listener Questions)

• [48:13–54:41]:
  • They read a Dear Abby column: wife upset that her husband, as a 22-year-old, dated a 16-year-old.

    Krissy: “You’ve been married 17 years…what now?” ([51:07]) Bryan: “If someone is making you sick to your stomach, just get over it.” ([49:51])

  • Discussion about legal ages, cultural differences, and youth “indiscretions.”
  • Parallels to a listener question about step-siblings dating:

    “Technically when Astrid and I got married, we became step second cousins.” ([56:25])

8. Reality TV Corner

• [57:28–66:17]:
  • Debate over Love Is Blind, Married At First Sight (“Maths”), The Ultimatum, and The Bachelor.
  • Interest in TV as “thought provoking” but preference for entertainment over realism.
  • Bryan teases upcoming seasons with returning reality show contestants.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Word Play (Quotidian):

  • “That’s when you draw quotes on someone’s tits.” – Bryan, ([02:01])
  • “It’s quotidian. It’s boring and mundane and you have to listen to it every day.” – Bryan, ([03:07])

• Parent Humor:

  • “Always pack extra underwear in case you shit yourself. Daddy brings extra underwear on trips!” – Bryan, ([18:26])
  • “My suitcase, my counting. I get to do it.” – Bryan’s daughter ([19:41])

• On Social Media Regulation:

  • “The only way things will change is if the courtroom doors open.” – Bryan, ([31:20])

• On Nextdoor Madness:

  • “Is this a tiger in our neighborhood? No, it’s a raccoon.” – Bryan, referencing a Nextdoor post ([38:19])
  • “This is how they traffic you. They put a pamphlet on your car. You’re 78. I don’t think they’re trafficking 78-year-olds.” – Bryan, ([41:38])

• Pop Culture/Americana:

  • “We should do a Nextdoor episode where we follow these people around.” – Bryan, ([67:00])

• On Reality TV:

  • “I want overdramatic, clearly mentally ill human beings dating each other so I can feel better about my life.” – Bryan, ([60:02])
  • “Living with somebody just in itself can, you know, drive you apart.” – Krissy, ([58:53])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Quote | |------------|-----------------------------------------------------| | 00:56–03:26| Word of the Day: “Bonhomie” & “Quotidian” | | 05:07–22:43| Parenting: Meltdowns, Packing, Overpacking | | 08:41–14:02| Olive Oil Coffee, Haircare, and Marital Gags | | 26:21–36:31| Social Media Hearings: Dangers & Regulation | | 36:32–43:00| Insanity on Nextdoor: Elderly Overshares | | 48:13–54:41| Dear Abby: Spouses' Youthful Indiscretions | | 57:28–66:17| Reality TV Roundup: Love Is Blind, Married at First Sight| | 67:00+ | Nextdoor as Reality TV – Future Show Ideas |

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Tone & Style

• Self-deprecating, irreverent, casual, and quick-witted.
• Nostalgic with a dose of mock outrage.
• Real-life stories mixed with pop culture roasting.
• Heavy use of banter and improv.

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a lively blend of parental confessions, social satire, and reality TV gossip, anchored by the hosts’ easy chemistry. Whether they’re debating how many pairs of underwear to pack, bemoaning the lack of internet innocence for today’s teens, or howling about elderly antics on Nextdoor, Bryan and Krissy deliver the mundane (“quotidian!”) in their uniquely entertaining way.

Transcript

[A]

I don't need potential at this grown big age. Come already. Potential. On this episode of the commercial break, no one's giving free fentanyl to the kids. That's not happening. Stop it. Stop it. It might have happened one time where some junkie, you know, threw out some, whatever, here's some fentanyl pills. Have a nice night. But no one's giving free drugs away. That doesn't happen. Because if that would happen, I wouldn't be here right now. I would be getting the free drug. That's what I would be doing. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the girl who sits on our bon Homied board of directors, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chrissy. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us.

[B]

He used bonhomey.

[A]

I use bonhome because I figured if we're gonna do word of the day, there's no use in throwing it out in the trash.

[B]

Then I gotta then exact incorporate it. So I told the daily Life, one.

[A]

Of my daughters last night that she wasn't being very bun homie. She had an 80 minute meltdown over an outfit that she had to wear. Not even an outfit, pajamas. And I was like, honey, you have to wear pajamas to bed. She wanted to wear like this full Easter dress.

[B]

And I'm like, she loves her.

[A]

I know she does love her dresses and I don't want to kill her spirit. But at the same time, like, it's your Easter dress. It's for Easter. It's not special if you wear it all the time. It's just not. We got to like some stuff we got to save for the rainy day, you know what I'm saying? Or a special day. And we just can't do that. But an 80 minute meltdown. And then at the end, I just said, you're not being very bon home. And she looked at me like. And I said, don't worry, I just learned the word also. So both of us are learning new words.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

What's your word of the day today? You got a word of the day?

[B]

I do have a word of the day today.

[A]

Let's keep it going. Why not?

[B]

I know.

[A]

Dying for content. Let's go for it.

[B]

Okay. Okay. You ready?

[A]

Yes, I am.

[B]

Okay. The word for today is quotidian.

[A]

Oh, quotidian. That's when you draw quotes on someone's tits and then you say, literally, that's when you go Literally. With your hands on someone's nipples. Literally. Quotidian.

[B]

Would you like me to give you a quotidian? So.

[A]

So I'm gonna assume this is. This is derived from Greek language.

[B]

Close. Latin.

[A]

Latin.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right. I think Greek is Latin.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

What are you thinking? The Greek language. All right, And.

[B]

And it is from the. The 14th century.

[A]

Okay, that's an old learn. I've gone my whole life without quotidians. Yep, yep.

[B]

But it's a good one here.

[A]

All right, so give me it in a sentence that means.

[B]

Well, it means.

[A]

Well, hold on. Give it to me in a sentence. Let me see if I can figure out what it means. I'm usually good at this kind of stuff.

[B]

Okay. Washing the dishes was a quotidian task, but she made the time pass quickly by listening to the commercial break.

[A]

Ah, okay. Boring or tedious?

[B]

It close. It's occurring every day. Daily.

[A]

Oh, a daily testimonial. But mundane. Like the commercial break.

[B]

Exactly. I thought it was very funny.

[A]

Yeah, there you go. I'm gonna call it the quotidian break. That's the new. I literally am gonna put that on a banner. I'm gonna put that on a banner and I'm gonna send it out to the universe. The commercial break. Quotidian. It's quotidian. It's boring and mundane and you have to listen to it every day. All right. Okay. That's a good one. I like quotidian.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Okay, well, I wasn't right about the boobs, but, you know, I'm a three year old and that's the.

[B]

Well, that could maybe be the urban dictionary version.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. Quotidian is where you do the air the literally on someone's boobs. Literally. With permission, of course.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. I don't want anybody running around quotidian ing.

[B]

Getting anything crazy.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[B]

So quotidian's gone wild.

[A]

Yeah. Ooh, that's a good one. It's quotidian. If we put that on a banner ad, I think people would click on. I mean, they would click on it and then they would quickly figure out that it is quotidian, homie.

[B]

Yeah, with our quotidian.

[A]

That's right. It's quite. It's quotidian. But bon homie, there you go. Look at us. We're bringing words to the people. And that. That's desperately needed because even I find my language is getting dumbed down by all the stupid shit that I read on the Internet. It's like I'm using always or amazing. Or the best or the most. And nothing can be the most. Ye. It's perfect. Is it really? Is it really? That's my favorite. I say that every three minutes. You. It can't be your favorite every time. Or it's not your favorite. Favorite denotes it's one of us. A thing that can never be replicated because it is your favorite. You don't have multiple favorites. I guess you can have favorites, but. Or that's when you're favoring something and that's a different way to use them.

[B]

Called me out on that a little while back and was like, yeah, but you said that the other song was your favorite song. Yeah, like, I know, but this one is my favorite.

[A]

Yeah, it's my favorite. This is another favorite.

[B]

I tried to say one of my favorites now.

[A]

I dated a girl and we went to the high museum thinking that, you know, just to give. Throw a little class into the whole situation. Classless relationship. We decided to class it up a little bit. So we go there and.

[B]

Was it that nighttime, like jazz?

[A]

No, this is like daytime.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And it was actually hours. It was actually a cool, cool exhibit in the sense that it was a Ferrari exhibit.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Do you remember that came. Huh.

[A]

So it had like the original Ferrari or whatever. It was all about Ferrari.

[B]

Were you calling on the high museum quote, unquote?

[A]

Yes, I was quotidying.

[B]

So that's how you got there during work hours?

[A]

Yes, I got it. So. Yeah, exactly. I. I didn't. It took me a minute to pick up on what you were saying. But yes. I'm going to talk to the dry cleaner down the street. I'll be back in three to seven hours.

[B]

The decision maker, probably museum. They're probably good.

[A]

They.

[B]

They absolutely want to do some advertising with us.

[A]

I have to go to the Cheetah again. They're already a client. I know, but, you know, a lot of relationship management going on.

[B]

Exactly. You got to keep up with that.

[A]

If I don't show up at least once a day, they're going to think, you know, what do we think of them? They're spending $2,000 a month. We got to keep that relationship going. I'm also spending $2,000 a month on the corporate card. So we go to this particular event. It's like a Saturday afternoon, Brian. It doesn't really matter what day it was. Why are you saying that? That's no relevance in the story. Checking myself as we talk. So we go. And I find a lot of things amazing. So I'm like, wow, that's amazing. Wow. Amazing. Wow. Amazing. And I realize that maybe I say that word a little bit too much. It's like a crutch word for me. Right? That's amazing. This is amazing. That's amazing. Or wow, wow, wow.

[B]

I do it too, though.

[A]

So me and this girl that I was dating, we get into a huge argument because at one point she walks away from me. The. While we're looking at the exhibit, she walks away from me. Like, I can just tell, I guess that she's irritated. She's irritated. She doesn't like me anymore. She never liked me in the first place. She was just there for my house. Whatever. Okay. What? And so I walk over and. And she's like, I just need a minute. I'm like, what happened? And she goes, I can't. If you say the word amazing one more time, isn't there another word in your vocabulary to use to describe this art or these cars or whatever? And I'm like, are we really arguing about the word amazing? She's like, it wouldn't be an argument if you didn't say it 500 times in the last hour. I'm so annoyed. And I was like, wow, this is amazing that you. It's amazing you're getting mad at me about this. But it was an argument that lasted, I think, like, a day and a half.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

Over my limited vocabulary, my limited adjective.

[B]

That was the first of many red flags.

[A]

So it wasn't the first of many red flags. It was like the last of many red flags.

[B]

It was the 50th. Yes, the red flag.

[A]

50Th red flag. So I wanted to talk about this. I go to Starbucks yesterday, and I know all the people at the Starbucks because I go there every morning.

[B]

It's your getaway.

[A]

It is my getaway. It really is. It's my 15 minutes alone in the morning, check myself before I wreck myself kind of thing. And I get a little pop of caffeine. I feel good. I check the download stats, and then I feel bad. And then I look at how much money we're making. I want to crash into the Starbucks, but I don't because I've got. There are people there who I know now who are very friendly, and I like them as people, as a group, a collective group. They're very.

[B]

Do they spell your name with a Y?

[A]

They do know how to spell my name right, but they don't even have to spell my name half the time. I walk in and they're already making it. It's already there for me. And so that's. That kind of.

[B]

That's amazing.

[A]

It is amazing. You're amazing. It's amazing. This is amazing. Everything's my favorite. So I go in, and one of the younger ladies that's working there is there with her boyfriend, but she's not working. She's sitting at one of the tables, and she's like, Brian. She's like one of kind of these happy, smiley, you know. Brian, good morning. And I'm like, oh, hey, how are you? Yeah, I'm good. And so I'm sitting there talking to her and her boyfriend, who also works at the Starbucks, by the way, and she says, you've got to try our new evoo creamy latte frate.

[B]

I've heard about those.

[A]

And I'm like, what? And she goes, extra virgin olive oil. She goes, our new evoo cold brew and cream. And I'm like, do you say, like, extra virgin olive oil? She's like, it's amazing. And I go, why in the world would they put olive oil in coffee? She says, it's. They put it in the foam to make it extra creamy. Right. And I thought to myself, cream is already extra creamy. Like, we don't need extra creamy cream. And then you're gonna fluff up some evoo and put it on top of my cre. I. The only thing that I could think at that moment was if smelling coffee makes me run to the bathroom every morning, taking extra virgin olive oil, foam and cream inside of my coffee is a way to slide every bit of food that came into me in the last 24 hours out. And I was all about it. I'm like, all right, okay, I'll try it. I have not tried it. I didn't try it this time because a cup of coffee was already ready. So I was like, I don't want two cups of coffee, but I'm going to try it tomorrow. I'm going to let you know how it goes.

[B]

Please do. I have heard about this. And, hey, I. I go through tons of olive oil on a regular basis.

[A]

Yeah, we do, too.

[B]

I cook with it. I put it in, you know, dressings, salads, the whole thing. I use it for my hair, my skin.

[A]

You put jizzle drizzle in your hair?

[B]

Yeah, it's a good for. It's good. A good mask.

[A]

You're like that Guy Ed on 90 Day Fiance who puts mayonnaise in his hair.

[B]

Yeah. Like once a month.

[A]

Once a month you put olive oil in your hair. Yeah.

[B]

And just do a little mask. Like A little homemade mask. Anyways.

[A]

Do you, like, pour it on yourself?

[B]

Well, I usually just do kind of pour it in my hands, then put it into the ends. Do you don't, like, step into the shower and douse myself.

[A]

I'm just curious how this goes. I never know. I didn't know you put olive oil in your hair.

[B]

Yeah, you can.

[A]

This is. I mean, you got beautiful hair, so I can't argue with the results. But the question is, how does this all go down? Do you, like, go to the kitchen, take out your Evo that you just cooked you and Jeff dinner last night, naked from the waist down, and. And then Jeff's waiting there in his kitchen. I. I imagine he has, like, a kitchen frock, like a little apron. Right. With a hole cut out in the bottom. And it said, de nuts are cooking tonight. De's nuts are for dinner.

[B]

What's for dinner?

[A]

De nuts. Deez nuts. Okay. So the whole scene going on, and then you say, honey, I've got to do my evoo tonight.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he says, great, I'll participate. And so then do you guys. Do you go into the bathroom?

[B]

He doesn't participate.

[A]

Oh, he doesn't, like, help you with the hair?

[B]

No.

[A]

Oh, okay. All right.

[B]

Maybe he should do it on my own.

[A]

I know, but maybe this should. This could be, like, a little. Right.

[B]

Then we can just get all oily.

[A]

And listen, this is what I'm thinking, is that. Let the. Let it just drip off your hair. Like, literally do an Evo shower where you guys are just pouring Evo all over each other. I mean, I am so excited.

[B]

Honestly. I love this.

[A]

I hope you try this, because I'm going to, because I'm too.

[B]

Mask.

[A]

It's some kind of mask. So then you pour a little bit in your hands, and then you just run it through your hair.

[B]

Yeah. And comb it through. And then you can kind of twist it up and just leave it to sit for, you know, 30 minutes or so to watch a show, and then you wash it out.

[A]

Yeah. Wow.

[B]

They do, like, hot. They do hot oil scalp massages, too. Like, sometimes for when you go to a spa.

[A]

Oh, okay. So they put, like, warm oil in your hair, and it's evo is what they're doing. Or is it some kind of specialized hair product?

[B]

Yeah. I mean, the last one I did was the Evo.

[A]

Wow. I had no idea this was going on.

[B]

Ev is. I mean, has been a staple in my house. But I have never tried the coffee.

[A]

Well, I've never tried it with coffee.

[B]

I'M interested.

[A]

I am interested, too. Who came up with this idea? Are the Italians doing this? Are the French doing this? Are we?

[B]

I did not have borrowing in Italy with my coffee when I did. When I went.

[A]

But now, you know, I'm thinking. I'm thinking about something. When I went to.

[B]

Must be something to it.

[A]

When I went to London, When I went to London at the Starbucks, the very big Starbucks in the train station, of which there was, like, three people in this huge Starbucks, and then there was, like, 100 people in, like, the local coffee shop that was also right across the hallway. And, like, no one cares for Starbucks across. I mean, I don't say no one cares, but it's certainly not as popular. If there was a Starbucks here and a local coffee shop, the Starbucks would be packed in. Local coffee shop would have a couple people in it.

[B]

But they like to support local. Usually outside of.

[A]

I think they feel like Starbucks is just another crappy American thing that's been transported over here, like McDonald's and Kentucky Fried Chicken for whatever reason that's a hit over there. Anyway, I go to London, I go to the train station, and a couple of days that I was there, the four days, mornings that I was there, I went, I walked. And they had EVOO bottles. They had, like, this huge circular setup, and all around the glass, they had bottles of evoo.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so now I'm wondering if this is, like, a thing that was being done across the seas and they just brought it over maybe. But I am so happy to try it. I just have to try it near a bathroom that I like, not the actual Starbucks bathroom, because I know that's getting blown up three times an hour. You don't know how many times I'm sitting at that.

[B]

You just get it and then take it home.

[A]

That's what I'm gonna do. Yeah. Yeah. And then I'll drink it here, and.

[B]

Then you can have your conference as well.

[A]

My morning press conference? Yeah, I drove the kids to school today. It was like, I'm driving the kids to school now just because of the way that the schedule works out. Yeah. And it's an. It's an addendum to the morning press conferences when the tough questions are asked. You know what I'm saying? You know, like, if the White House.

[B]

To think about from. From the morning press conference, and then they. They follow.

[A]

They follow up. And there's so many things flying by the window that then there's a lot of questions to be asked. Like, why is the moon out? Why is There only one moon. Why can't I look at the sun? Why are the trees green? So many questions of which I like to answer and I'm probably getting so much of it wrong. They're going to be just as dumb as I am because I don't know. But I make it up as I go along. I'm like, oh, chloroform. That's why the tree. They're going to go to school and be like, daddy uses chloroform to make the trees green. People are going to be like, what? That is what?

[B]

So I just tell them to ask their teacher.

[A]

Yeah, but you know, I also went to school. I also want to be looked at as like the cool dad that answered all the questions. So I try my best to be really. I want them to have knowledge and I want that knowledge to come from somewhere. They're too young. They'll have a chance to get the facts later. I'm just going to share some information that they can think in their heads right now.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

We're going on like a two night getaway to my parents house. Like we do this often, right. It's the one place we can go without spending any money, which is exactly how much money we have right now. So. Unbelievable.

[B]

So that's a nice little getaway to like.

[A]

Yeah, we love it. It's so much fun. It was the right move. You know, I, my dad had originally gotten a mountain house which you and I visited a number of times and we really liked that. But it's limited in scope in the sense that you go there for the weekend but you're staying there for the weekend.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It was literally on top of a mountain. You had to get up a dirt road. It was not easy to get down. And even when you did get down, there was nothing within like 30 miles. So you had at least an hour.

[B]

Like the tiniest little convenience store that has old stuff.

[A]

Yeah. Stuff that hasn't been touched. Like Moon pies from the 70s. Right. But they're still valid because moon pies don't expire. Twinkies. I don't know if you sure they make those anymore, but there's like Twinkies in there. Yeah. That convenience store was nothing. And then they had a Piggly Wiggly down.

[B]

Right now the Piggly Wiggly is big.

[A]

You know, and the Piggly Wiggly was big. That's the big hit in this particular part of the world. North Georgia mountains. So anyway, so. But my dad and my stepmom started to realize that as we all kind of got our own lives and wives and all that other shit that comes along with being an adult. That the trips up there were becoming less and less frequent and they, as they retired, didn't want to live there because they were afraid that we wouldn't come up as often and it would be boring. They don't have a chance to have friends or any stuff. So they moved to a lake.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And a big community with a lot of other boaters and retired people and whatever. Near a major did the same. Yeah, it's a smart move because now you can guarantee that the kids are going to come up at least during the spring and summer because there's lots of fun. There's boating and lakes and pools and all this other stuff. And it's not too far off the beaten path. In 30 minutes you can be in downtown Clemson area. Right. So it's. There's a lot going on there. So we're going to this. So we go there often because we have kids and that's just an easy couple hour drive up there, spend the weekend, see scenery. And the grandparents love the kids. So Astrid and I get a little bit of a break.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So they both have. Or a couple of my kids have suitcases like Mickey and Elsa. And you know, we just got them like these suitcases, right? They're not suitcases. They're just plastic boxes that you can. It looks like a suitcase, but it's just really a cheap piece of crap. Right? But they are so excited because now they have in their heads that they too can pack their own suitcase. So they get out their suitcases last night, they're so excited. I can we. Can I pack my own suitcase? Can I bring my suitcase? And so usually we try and just take as little as possible, but this time I'm like, okay, permit it. Like, you guys can do this for sure.

[B]

Let's see what you got.

[A]

Yeah, let's see what you got. Well, now it was five days before we go to this place, right? And so we're packing a little bit early. So I said, let's pack a little bit at a time, right? We'll pack our underwear tonight and our socks. So I get in this discussion with one of my kids and he's like, how many underwears do I need to bring? And I'm like, let's bring three. One for each day, the two days that we're going to be there. And then an extra just in case you shit yourself.

[B]

And.

[A]

Which you know isn't likely to happen, but also isn't out of the realm of possibility. Daddy also brings extra underwear on his trips in case I shit myself.

[B]

A good rule.

[A]

It's a good rule of thumb. Always have underwear. Even though there's washers and dryers up there. It would be good if we had an extra. An extra pair of pants.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So he goes. He brings a three, and then he brings three socks. We have that discussion. And then one of my other kids, she is going behind him. So I'm paying attention to the one suitcase and not paying attention to the other suitcase, and I turn around and literally the entire bedroom is in this kid's suitcase. It's, like, overflowing with clothes and shit, right? And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, honey, she's starting early. She is.

[B]

I'm like, over packing.

[A]

Yeah, we don't need. We don't need three pairs of. You know, we don't need three swimsuits. We don't need 12 stuffies. We don't need six books. And then she's like, oh, but what do I. What should I bring? And I'm like, well, I said, let's pack underwear and socks today, and then tomorrow we'll get to other stuff, right? And so I'm like, how many? And I go, three. Three's good. It's a good rule of thumb. So she goes over. She's got a bunch. She's got, like, 10 pairs of underwear in this thing already. So she takes them out, she throws them all over the place. And she's like, okay, I'll count. And I go, okay, good. And she goes, 1, 1, 1, 1, 2, 2, 3, 3. And I go, hey, that's not how it goes. It's not 1, 1, 1, 1. 1, 2, 2, 2, 3, 3, 3. That's how we ended up with multiple children. We were counting the wrong way. Exactly. We did the wrong counting. It's day one, one, one, one, one. I'm like, you know. You know, 1, 2, 3. That's how you do it. You do it. 1, 2, 3. And this kid is like, no, no, no. Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, let me do it. Let me do it. Let me do it. 1, 1, 1. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, NO. It's 1, 2, 3, 1, 1. And she. She goes, this is what she said to me. She goes, my suitcase, my counting. I get to do it. And I was like, oh, Mrs. Attitudy, Rudy, what is going on with you? We're gonna have a meltdown if we don't have 70 pairs of underwear. What do we need? And so eventually, she told me that she wants. She wants color. She wants multiple options.

[B]

Well. And I was like, options thing is for real.

[A]

What is she doing going on a date? She has multiple underwear options. Who's she gonna meet up there? I mean, come on.

[B]

I like. I'm just saying, I like to have multiple options. You probably do too.

[A]

Oh, Chrissy, I'm the worst packer ever.

[B]

You know, because you don't. You check the weather before you leave. But anything could happen.

[A]

But, I mean, there's no weather in my cold.

[B]

You don't be too hot. You want to be wet.

[A]

You.

[B]

You need to have. Also, you may just might. I feel that shirt.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not one day.

[A]

I know. I'm with you. This. And this is why Astrid hates me so much. Astrid is so organized, and she's like, one outfit for each day, and then we'll bring a couple little extra things. You know, we went overseas for a month over the summer to go visit relatives and stuff. Big trip. Everyone's going. We had, like, you know, we don't want to bring as few suitcases as possible because it's just a matter of carrying them all around Europe, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We're gonna make multiple stops and go to multiple places. It's just. We don't want it to be a big pain in the ass. So Astrid starts to get packing, and then she says, put all the stuff that you want over here in this specific area, and I'll fold it up and I'll pack it. I'm gonna try and get both of our stuff into one suitcase. And I'm like, okay, so that's a task. Yes. So every day I just keep adding to the pile and adding to the pile and adding to the pile. And she's like, you have 32 T shirts. And I go, I know we're gonna be gone for, like, 28 days. And she's like, but you don't need a T shirt for every single day. I go, I know. I might need two. And she goes, you're gonna have to get it out of your head that you need to change T shirts every time that, you know, perspiration even thinks about coming out of your body. You don't have to do that. And I'm like, but, honey, you know, what if I don't like the blue shirt on the Tuesday? And she's like, do you not think they have washers and dryers over there? We'll be okay. Like, bring five T shirts. Bring a week's worth of T shirts. And then we can always wash them and dry them. We're going to have, you know, be in multiple Airbnbs. We can do this. And I'm like, but, honey, this makes me nervous. Makes me nervous. Just 1, 1, 1, 1, 1.

[B]

I wonder where she got it from.

[A]

Oh, she got it from Daddy. And listen, to be fair to me, I am a complete, so.

[B]

Well, let's be fair to you.

[A]

Let's be fair to me, because if their show is anything, it's fair to me.

[B]

Quotidian.

[A]

Quotidian. All right, we're gonna do a quotidian break here. It's mundane, but, you know, hey, listen, take a listen. You never know, you might want something from one of our sponsors. So let's take a break and then we'll be back.

[C]

Sorry to interrupt, but that's kind of my thing these days. If you're sick of me interrupting, Brian, give us a call at 626 AskTCB 3. Leave us a voicemail and maybe I'll interrupt you on the show instead. You'd love that, wouldn't you? You can also text us at 855-tcb8383 and check out our website, tcbpodcast.com for all things TCB. You know what's coming next. Follow us on Instagram hecommercial break and on TikTok CBpodcast. And now let's listen to some sponsors, because they're the real ones around here.

[A]

This episode is sponsored in part by Magic Spoon. Okay, if you've listened to any amount of the commercial break, then you know one of my disgusting food habits is to eat sugary cereals with cream late at night. Well, the earth just turned one year older, and I've decided to do away with the empty calories and added sugars. The good news for my bad cereal habit, I have Magic Spoon. Magic Spoon recreates all the flavors that we loved as children without all the baggage that goes in our bellies. It has all the flavors you love, but it's high in protein and it has less sugar. Astrid and I just bought a variety pack that has four flavors. Cocoa, Fruity, Frosted, and peanut butter. This pack has 0 grams of sugar, 13 to 14 grams of protein, and 4 to 5 grams of net carbs. It's only 140 calories per serving. It's high protein, has 0 grams of sugar, keto friendly, gluten free, grain free and soy free. And I get the taste of my favorite cereal without all the guilt. Magic Spoon is returning to the commercial break as a sponsor. And we're so happy that they're offering you a discount. Go to magicspoon.com tcb to grab a variety pack and try it today. And be sure to use our promo code TCB at checkout to save $5 off your order. And Magic Spoon is so confident in their product, it's backed with a 100% happiness guarantee. So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money. Absolutely no questions asked. Remember to start the year off right with a delicious bowl of high protein [e-mail] tcb and be sure to use the promo code tcb to save $5 off. That's magicspoon.com tcb and use the code tcb to save $5 Off. Thank you, Magic Spoon, for being a sponsor of the commercial break and giving me something to look forward to late night after I get out of the studio.

[B]

You know, that ending makes me laugh every time.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Give me something to look forward to.

[B]

After I get out of the studio.

[A]

Yeah, I'm not, you know, we do commercials. Magic Spoon. Magic. Listen, Magic Spoon is good. If, if you just heard the Magic Spoon commercial. Magic Spoon, it's tasty. It's very tasty. High end protein. I mean, I don't need to repeat the commercial here, but you know, they're a sponsor of the show and I do like their product. I really do. I've got a bunch of it in my, in my, whatever you call that the pantry. The area where the kids yell and scream. The pantry is like a congregating plant. Yeah. Beg for candy and sweets and juices and all that. I wanted to, I don't know if you've been keeping up with this, but the five biggest social media platforms are currently sitting in Capitol Hill being grilled by those senators of the Internet select committee or whatever.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This was, watching some of it this morning and I was thinking to myself, wow, you know, social media has changed our lives in so many ways. The Internet in general, if you've been alive that long, has changed our, our life in so many ways. And social media, you know, a lot of it is, is negative. It's not good. And I think we can objectively say that there is a lot of joy to be found on social media. A lot of sharing a lot of good news stories, a lot of good ways to keep up with people that you may not pictures and all that other stuff. But in general, you have to weigh that with all of the negativity. That goes on there, the bullying and the, you know, propagation of misinformation and drug dealing and, you know, driving kids to suicide and all this other stuff. It's really terrible. And for the people who are affected by this in a negative way, there is nothing that they can do because the social media companies are held harmless. They cannot be sued. They. There's no organization, there's no trade organization. There's nothing. It's basically the Wild West. And some people say that drives innovation, I might agree. But at the same time, like I think it was one of the senators said this, and I can't remember which senator said this, and by the way, this is like, there's bipartisan support, unanimous, bipartisan, partisan support to do something to rein these companies in and make regulate it somehow be held responsible for some of the stuff that goes on in their platform. Some of the stuff that goes on in their platforms. And we're talking about when it comes to children, like when it comes to adults, you make your own case. You do your own thing. You, you know, you're big boys.

[B]

You feel jealous.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

At the Instagram post.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

When you're big, you're free to feel jealous.

[A]

You're feel. Feel free to look at as many nipples as you want with inspirational posts under them. Quotidian. That's what a quotidian is. It's a pose underneath an inspirational quote, underneath a picture of tits. It's quotidian. There you go. We figured it all out. It came full circle. So I'm watching this and I'm like, okay, you know, all right, there's Zuckerberg and Shoo Chew, the guy from TikTok, and there's Evan from Snapchat, there's the dude from Discord, and then there's someone from Twitter, and they're all up there.

[B]

And they're all musk.

[A]

No, musk is not going to show up to that. I think you would be hard pressed to find him dragged in front of Congress because he has Congress over a barrel. He's controlling a lot of the Internet with his fly in the sky bullshit. Starlink, Starlink. That you can see basically with your blind eye. Anyway, I digress. So this one of these senators says of bolts fell out of a door on a plane and 700 to 800 aircraft were grounded immediately. And no one objected because someone could have died. One person could have died and that would have shocked the world. We would all have been super upset about this. We grounded the planes to try and figure out what we should do about this. But many, many, many people can attribute death, some somebody's death to social media. Like a direct correlation between these two. And we do nothing about it, right? Because. And she said this, she said, because the social media companies are so powerful, so vastly rich that they can basically impose their will by just lobbying. So Mark Zuckerberg gets up there and this lady says, why don't you support this particular bill? And he says, well, we support a lot of what the bill is, but we have our own bill that we.

[B]

Would like to submit ourselves.

[A]

We regulate ourselves. We're doing it ourselves. Can't you guys see this?

[B]

We're doing such a good job. Don't worry.

[A]

You don't trust this face.

[B]

Don't worry about us.

[A]

Happy face.

[B]

Got it under control.

[A]

It's all good. Chrissy, I don't know why you're bothering. Look at me. I have a friendly face. What do I do? What's the problem? It's like that guy, Sue Chew from Tick Tock. He's like, what? Huh? What? I'm here. I protect everybody I care about your children. Look, your child right now is in her elementary school in the restroom. I've got a camera there. I can see her. It's kind of. Yeah, I'm taking care of the kids.

[B]

I got the kids data.

[A]

Please. Those fentanyl pills, they're being sold everywhere. What do you want me to do? It's just a reflection of everything else that's going on in town. Mark Zuckerberg had the balls to say, not only do I not support your bill, but I don't support your bill because I wrote my own bill, right? And I would like you to support my bill. You're not in Congress. What the fuck is going on? I realize these companies talk with congressional leaders and they find a way to make it happen, but it's amazing to me that Zuck, you know, Zuck Tuck up there, can get up this fresh face, baby face, you know, freckled little face. I have freckles, too. So, by the way, I'm not, you know, freckled little face up there. And he can tell the ranking members that basically, I don't support your bill because I wrote my own bill. How crazy is that for that kid to be in that position?

[B]

Because you never know until you try. But.

[A]

I mean, I am so aghast at what he said.

[B]

They don't want to change. They'll do whatever they can not to.

[A]

Well, the big thing is, is that the only way that things are going to really change for these companies is if the courtroom doors open, if someone's allowed to go in there and sue and be in front of a jury and give the facts, give the evidence. My child was on Snapchat. He bought medication that he thought was safe and you know, and then it was a fentanyl pill and he died. And that was because Snapchat didn't take the appropriate action to stop the drug dealing from happening. This person has been obviously doing this for years on your platform and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then when they get $100 million lawsuit that rolls in the favor of the plaintiff, then things start to change because they go, oh, if this happened with one case, then if we have 300 other cases like this now we're talking about billions of dollars and that's a problem. Right. So we better take action on this. I had a friend who, I have two friends who worked for social media companies, I won't say which, worked for social media companies in Europe. And their job was to be on the safety and regulation teams. So when a post got flagged or an instant message got flagged, it got sent through some kind of AI and then if I decided that that post looked like it could be whatever. Think of all the bad things in the world that you can think of. It got sent to human beings who then reviewed the post with their eyeballs.

[B]

I've heard, I've heard horror stories. I was the people that have to look at all the stuff.

[A]

I was floored.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

At, at the process in which these folks to work in that division have to go through. First of all, they separated into multiple bad things. Right? Think of all the bad thing piles that you can see on the Internet or anywhere in the world. And then they separate that into multiple bad thing piles and they make a determination about how bad bad things are. And then you get swapped in and out so that you don't have to be subjected to certain types of things for long periods of time. We're talking like you might be there for three months and then you move on to the next thing and then they might come back a couple years later or whatever. They also have to take like mandatory mental health breaks where they go and they talk to therapists and take a couple days off so they can go see the world not through this lens that they've been seeing it through. If it's that bad, if it's that fucking bad, then isn't like, I'm not talking about grown ass adults who can make the decisions about what they See? And what they don't see, there's a. There's a set. This may contain sensitive content. Do you want to see it? Yes or no? Talking about children who are being exploited by these companies and then advertised to. Because they can make money off of them. Right. And then all these bad things are rolling through the screens of the kids and it's like, holy shit. The worst thing that I saw before the age I was 13 years old, the worst thing that I saw was like a knockoff, you know, softcore porn, Cinemax horror movie and. And the Sears catalog where I thought I saw a shape of a nipple on one of the bra section things. That's the worst thing I was subjected to. Right. And I can't imagine.

[B]

Let's not forget about your encyclopedia collection. Oh, yeah, the mass murderer.

[A]

I did. Well, that's when I turned. Yeah, okay. All right. I said the worst thing I saw before I was 10. Because when I was 12, I got the Time Life serial killer collection of my dad's. Let me get that. I was like, yeah, dad, who's John Wayne Gacy? Because he grew up, you know, he like lived right down the street.

[B]

Right?

[A]

That's right. At the same time when I was around. Right. Or I was. I mean, I was being born. I was in that, like in the same neighborhood.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And dad. And I thought to myself, why? Why not me? Like, what was wrong with me? What was wrong with me?

[B]

Why didn't he pick?

[A]

Why did he pick me? And my dad was like, you're obnoxious from the day that you were born, son. So if Time Life serial. And by the way, there were no particularly gory images in that Time Life series. It was just a lot different descriptions of stuff. But it wasn't like particularly, you know, gory.

[B]

Yeah, no, I mean, you can see so much.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's crazy. It's scary.

[A]

But I want to glad I don't.

[B]

Have a small child.

[A]

I know. God damn. Master and I were talking about it while I was watching this and it's like, it's so depressing. It's just so depressing. And talking to my chiropractor the other day and the guy says he has teenage children and he's like, bro, I wish my kids were your age. Because when they get big, the problems get super complicated and there's no easy answer. And they're having existential crises at like 13 years old.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because of social media, AI, the Internet, all this stuff. They're like questioning their existence because there's so much Bad shit coming at them at all times. They, they are like, are I really just going to work a job for the rest of my life and then die? Yes, that's what you're going to do. That's what happens. And I said, yeah, our parents probably said that too. And he goes, I strongly disagree with you. And he convinced me that I was wrong. He said we have more in common with how our grandparents raised our parents than we do with our own children at this age. Because we didn't have any of this. Like, we didn't even have phones in our room, right? Some of us didn't have phones in our room. We certainly didn't have them in our pocket 24 hours a day where you could be subjected to anything and everything. And it's just like, it's so scary. But there was one CEO that was missing from this group that I really think needs to be up there, and that is the next door CEO. Where is the next door CEO?

[B]

Well, this is true.

[A]

If we're going to protect our children, we need to protect our elderly too. From that Next door app. Let me explain why.

[B]

I think it started off as a good idea. I remember getting on it years ago and thinking, okay, great, I. Somebody is needs, wants to get rid of a table, great, they left it out and some, anybody can come pick it up.

[A]

Car broken into down the street. Good information to know, right?

[B]

Then I moved and got on it again and I was like, what the hell's happening on the Internet, Chrissy?

[A]

We have to protect our elderly. We have to protect our elderly. This app is insane. People are looney Tune on this app.

[B]

Anything where people can comment and say what they want behind the screen just becomes crazy.

[A]

But the crazy thing is is that they're really like, it's a kind of anonymous, but not really because most old people put their actual names on there. Like Mary Jane Rookatougal 3575, you know, Zip Zop Lane. That's their username. And you're like, what? So I go on this next door because there's some alert about some action happening down the street or something. I'm like, okay, I haven't been on next door in years. And then I start scrolling and I realize that the elderly people are just as crazy as the teenagers. They really are. And so there's this old lady, Mary Jane Rapple, Popple, whatever her name is, right? Lives down the street or I don't know, she's in the neighborhood that we live in. And she goes, I ordered groceries to my house. And they were delivered somewhere else. If anybody knows where they are, please call my cell phone. [phone]. Then she puts a picture of the last time groceries got delivered to her house and what they look like. And she's like, apples, milk, tampons for my young daughter. And I'm like, oh, my God, lady. She puts the picture and it's got her fucking mailbox address right there. And I'm like, have you no sense in your head? Another lady's like, is this a tiger in our neighborhood? It's a raccoon. And she's like, spotted tiger. Has anybody heard of loose animals from the zoo or a circus? I spotted a tiger and she's got this picture. It's got this picture of a raccoon. But it's not a joke. It's not a joke. She's, like, responding to people. And someone's like, Of one coats, they go, oh, yeah, that's a trash tiger. They're all over the place. I thought it was so funny. I saw two of them this morning. And she's like, I didn't know there was such a thing as a trash tiger. Please tell me more. I'm in danger. One lady wrote, I don't know what to do. My oven won't turn on. Can please, someone please help me call this number? And she's got, like, this. Like this selfie where she's half in, half out of the photograph. She's taking a picture and she's like, ah, we must save the elderly. The next door is driving them crazy. It's insane.

[B]

Yeah, it's kind of their social media platform, isn't it?

[A]

And then they post pictures of random people walking down the street, like this Mexican spotted. And I'm like, okay, all right. What the. All right. Suspicious Mexican spotted. Like, suspicious Mexican, what? Suspicious old lady posting random racist shit on next door, right? It is so crazy.

[B]

I know. I never get on.

[A]

I posted one time on that, one time, the beginning of the pandemic. I wrote this little thing. I'm like, this is a crazy time. I just wrote it. I wrote it on a bunch of platforms. I don't know why I wrote it maybe for attention. I don't know what I was doing. That was lonely. It was the early pandemic. We had no listeners. I was just like, okay, let me write something nice. So I was like, oh, what a mixed up, crazy time. I think we'd all come together and help each other in this situation. You know, neighbors be neighbors and friends be friends. And let's all, you know, gather. Kumbaya moment, right, Whatever. Gather by the campfire. Little did I know, turn into the biggest shitstorm that's ever happened. But, you know, it's like day two of the pandemic. I'm like, okay, let's. I'll send a little love out there. I got hundreds of comments. You're so blind. You don't know that the government tried to overtake us. Steve Jones, 770-555-5555 at stevejones because his phone. The people are putting their phone numbers on the years. I'm like, what are you doing? Stop. I want to stop you from doing this. I think we should actually do a segment where we read next door posts because they are so insanely insane, you can't believe it.

[B]

And now there's ads on it too, I've noticed. To where, you know, of course they.

[A]

Got to make money. Yeah, yeah, they got to make money. One lady said she spotted a prostitute at the Starbucks. Spotted prostitute. It's Firebucks. She took a picture. It was like a lady in a dress. This lady has been frequenting Starbucks. I've seen her with multiple men. We must protect our children. Protect our children. Let the lady do her work if she is a prostitute. Second of all, she's probably just a lady.

[B]

She's just having meetings.

[A]

Yeah, she's just going to Starbucks, that hot stone massage place up to the Japanese, whatever it is, massage parlor that's given hack jacks or whatever. You should see the posts on those. Oh, everybody's a flame about the Jack Shack down the street, you know? You know, these men are ruining our society. You know, stop them. And tramps and sluts, all of them. It's like, okay, grandma, settle down. Spotted on Oan. You know, Right. My favorite is that, you know, multiple things are happening. And I'm not saying this doesn't happen. I'm saying I'm sure this doesn't happen as frequently as I see it on next door. That, like, you know, spotted pamphlet on my car. This is how they traffic you. And I'm like, how do they traffic you? They put the pamphlet there to indicate that you're the one they got to take down. You're 78. I don't think they're trafficking 78 year olds. I mean, I'm sure there's a market for it, but yeah, I don't think they're trafficking you. Grabbing. You're okay, right?

[B]

Right.

[A]

I read it on Oan. Oh, you did?

[B]

Okay, well, it must Be true.

[A]

Must be totally legitimate if you read it on oan. So, you know, we definitely have to do something about the kids. We've got to protect the elderly, too, because we do. They're. They're just as crazy. They are going insane on this next door. Get. If you haven't been on next door and you want a real nice night.

[B]

Of hilarity, you should have seen the one after Halloween. I got on there after Halloween for something and you know, because it's like someone said, here's your post. And whatever I look on, it was nuts. Nuts about, you know, hoodlums, vandalisms, people. Some people were nice. Yeah. But I had my bucket of candy stolen. Look, here's the kid that did it. And they show like a rain camera.

[A]

I know they would post pictures of it.

[B]

You're the one who left the bucket of candy out there.

[A]

Yeah. One time there was a UPS guy with a brown uniform, but she couldn't see the UPS sign. And she was like, call the police. UPS man with no UPS patch. I'm in danger. It's. These are not jokes. They're real. Yeah. One lady was like, did your children get any of these? And they're like sweet tarts, right? They look exactly like fentanyl pills. Don't give to children. Report to police immediately. And I'm like, what the. They're sweet tarts, lady. No one's giving free fentanyl to the kids. That's not happening. Stop it. Stop it. It might have happened one time where some junkie, you know, threw out some whatever. Here's a fentanyl pills. Have a nice day. But no one's giving free drugs away. That doesn't happen because if that would happen, I wouldn't be here right now. I would be getting the free drugs. That's what I would be doing.

[B]

I want my candy.

[A]

I want my candy. Candy. Candy. I'm literally shaking and sweating. Daddy, I'm puking. I'm in the fetal position. Oh, we should do a next door read.

[B]

We should.

[A]

Next door comments. That's what we're going to put it in the notebook. Please do. Actually, let's not put them because we'll never do it.

[B]

No, actually, we really will never remember.

[A]

Yeah, we'll never remember it. I'm going to put it on.

[B]

I think we need to do a segment on the Notebook.

[A]

Well, we told. We said we were going to do that this season, so we're going to do that. Put that in the notebook. And we'll never do the notebook. Notebook season segment. All right, you write that down. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more, more fun and more fentanyl for you. There you go. Finally.

[C]

I feel like I was waiting forever for my turn to talk. Now that I have you, go to tcbpodcast.com to find all of our audio, video content and follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTokCBpodcast. Want it to be your turn to talk? Call us and spill the tea at 626askTCB3 and you may hear your voice on the show. You can also text us your tea at 855-TCB8383. And boy, do we love to hear it. Anyway, take a listen to our sponsors and let's get back to the show.

[A]

This episode is sponsored in part by prizepix. Everybody out there in the podcast universe knows what a huge NFL fan I am and exactly how much I know about the sport. However, I'm getting into it and I'll tell you why. Prizepix. Prizepix is America's 1 fantasy sports app. With over 3 million members, it's the easiest and most exciting way to play dfs. It's just you against the numbers. You don't have to be a professional football player or dating some famous singer to get in on the action. Prize Picks is allowing you to do it. And it's that time of year again. The big game right around the corner. Prize Picks is the easiest and most exciting way to turn every game changing moment into 100x your money. With as little as 4 correct picks, you can turn $10 into $1000. I just jumped on the Prize Pick apps last week and I'm telling you what it's super easy to do. Prize Picks is a really simple way. I can make my picks and then submit my entry in less than 1060 seconds. Now, I don't want to go into detail about who I picked because I make my choices based on a complicated spreadsheet and then I have blue barked twice at the right answer. So do us a Favor, go to prizepix.com tcb and use the code tcb for the first deposit match of up to $100. That's prizepix.com tcf make sure you use the code tcb for the First Deposit Match of up to $100. They're giving you free money so no matter who wins or loses this big Sunday, you have an opportunity to be part of the big game in a big way and possibly win A little moolah. Who's going to argue with that? Prizepix.com TCB use the code TCB and get a first deposit match of up to $100. Thanks prizepix for being a sponsor of the commercial break. All right. I got so excited about this I.

[B]

Decided to pull it.

[A]

Yeah, next door. Now listen. Here we go. Ready Here. Leslie says, I heard a lot of birds chirping loudly outside this morning. I went to look. There was an enormous amount of blackbirds flying and landing on my backyard and pecking. There were a few lone birds, but most of them were swirling in groups. I couldn't easily tell which color they were. They look mostly black or dark gray. I couldn't get pictures because I've never used a cell phone before. They spotted me and then they flew away. I've never seen this behavior before. Has anyone else noticed? Are the birds in danger? Should I call animal control? That's a flock of birds. I know.

[B]

I just saw it happen actually in our park the other day and I just thought it was cool looking. I didn't write on next door.

[A]

You didn't write on next door. I did not even have to scroll to find that post. I didn't even have to scroll. It's a crazy right there for you so much. But hey, I read like a Dear Abby type column maybe. Dear Abby. I read a Dear Abby and I thought it was a interesting topic to bring up. Now I'll tell you what Dear Abby said. You want me just read it. Yeah, okay. Sorry Abby. Let me take your material here. Okay. Oh, it is Dear Abby. Dear Abby. After 17 years of marriage, I learned to my dismay that When I was 22, when he was 22, my husband had a long term relationship with a 16 year old girl. He insisted that she lied about her age and told him she was 20. But even after finding out her true age, he went on to date her. Her mother was okay with it as well as other family members who all knew she was underage. It makes me so sick to my stomach. They engaged in sexual activity when she was underage. They were even engaged. They were even engaged until she cheated. I'm livid because he tried to say that he told me she was on our underage, but she he never did. I know this. I would never have dated or married someone. I know this. I would never have dated or married someone who knowingly had sex with an underage girl. I've been questioning. I've been questioning myself a lot about this marriage. But this sent me over the top.

[B]

How many years have they.

[A]

17 years. So this guy is at least in his 50s, I would imagine. 40s, 50s. Am I overreacting because he was young and dumb and did something stupid that I'll never do again, as he puts it. Can't signed, can't get over it. Sounds like you're already over it. Sounds like you're already heading for divorce.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Even before the underage story. And if someone is making you sick to your stomach like that, then, I mean, listen, it's not a good thing. I don't suggest any 22 year old date a 16 year old. That's not what I'm saying.

[B]

But what state was this in?

[A]

I don't know. They don't. I'm not gonna give that kind of identifying information. I think the whole point of Dear Abby is to keep everything real anonymous.

[B]

I'm just saying. Yeah, some southern states, I think it's still legal to get married at like 14 or something with parents permission.

[A]

It's in some southern states or some states it's still legal to get married. The age of consent, at least in the state of Georgia is 16 years old. But you can't be in a power of authority. You can't have any kind of like you can't be a coach, a teacher, you know, a bus driver, whatever. You can't have some position of authority over that child because then that's considered grooming. And I don't think it's legal for 22 year olds to have sex with 16 year olds. I don't know. I think age of consent means you can have sex with other 16 year olds. Basically is what it means. But I don't know. I don't know. I haven't checked the law. Yeah, I'm not checking the law for any particular reason, but Dear Abby or.

[B]

Abby, I'm curious what she says because I know what I say. Is he like. Yeah, get over.

[A]

That's what she said. Get over it.

[B]

Yeah, it's happened a really long time ago. You guys have been married for 17 years. What now?

[A]

Yeah. Why now? Why now are you upset about this? I think you're right about it.

[B]

And also how is this was discovered 17 years later? Like what does he have like a. No. If he's got like a little box of her 16 year old underwear or.

[A]

Something, he's got tiger, tiger beat.

[B]

Yeah, that's a little different. Like how was this discovered?

[A]

Don't know. Seventeen years later, I have no idea. Does it that literally. I read what I mean, I Read what was written. It says, deer. Can't get over it. The most important line in your letter, as far as I'm concerned, is this one sentence. I've been questioning myself a lot about this marriage. The first item on your agenda should be to make an appointment with a licensed marriage and that family therapist so you and your husband could start working on what's wrong with your relationship. His feelings for that girl were sincere. He would have married her had she not cheated on him. If he had been. If he has been faithful to you and a caring husband since you're the beginning of your marriage, it's time to forgive him for his youthful indiscretion, which was encouraged by the girl's entire family. Yeah. Period in the sentence. That's all she says. So, yeah, like, what are you going to do? This wasn't like he groomed her. I mean, I don't know because there's such limited information, but it sounds like everybody was on board with this at the time. They were all like, yeah, you guys are in love. Whatever. I'm not saying that that makes it right. I'm just.

[B]

Yeah, well, she lied at the beginning, too. As you would do. As I did when I was 16. You know, talking to an old, cute older guy. Yeah, this.

[A]

This happened to me also. I dated a girl, said she was 21, and I found out when we went to Blockbuster that she wasn't 21. Because you needed a. You needed to be 21 in order to have a Blockbuster card or whatever it was. Do you remember this story, for those.

[B]

Of you who don't know what Blockbuster.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's true. Some reason she was. She was under the age of having a Blockbuster card, and I didn't realize that she was that age. She had lied about it, basically, and that startled me, and I. I discontinued the relationship because I was like, no movie for you. Yeah. No movie for you. And I really wanted to see.

[B]

Fatal Attraction.

[A]

That's right. I really wanted to see Family Zoo 2. That was my favorite movie.

[B]

Family Matters, for that matter.

[A]

Yeah. Family first first. Family first.

[B]

Family first.

[A]

Fly by Night. Yeah. Fire by Night.

[B]

Family first. That was crazy.

[A]

Oh, my God. Oh. Oh. By the way, there, I found more episodes, and that's, like, the least crazy of the episodes. And we didn't even get to the heart of what happened. We may have to go back to that one. I just don't know if I can digest it two episodes in a row. It's a little much. Yeah. That guy's screaming at the time. Is like I say that as a guy who just screams into the microphone the whole episode, but you know, you like it. I don't. Okay, yeah, this is that. It's a complicated topic. But let's put aside the fact that this show had a relationship with a 16 year old girl. When you are so fluffed about something that happened so long ago, it's clear that you're just not interested in your husband anymore anyway and you're finding a reason, you're finding a reason to be upset with him. And I don't know, but you know, could be completely opposite. Maybe she thinks for some reason he did coerce this girl into a relationship or she has some reason to believe he was grooming her or something like that.

[B]

Now is that based upon. Off what she said?

[A]

Not based off what she said. Yeah, but. And you know, who's to say that he's, he's lying or he's, he's not lying. But I was surprised by Dear Abby's reaction.

[B]

I was, that was, that was my reaction.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I was a little surprised because I, when I read it at first I was like, oh, that's kind of gross, you know. But then she pointed out that the one sentence in the whole thing was. I've been questioning myself a lot about this marriage lately. Oh, I imagine that's what Astrid's thinking all the time. She's probably. I've been questioning myself a lot about this marriage. Not because of my youthful indiscretions, but because of my current. Yeah, my current indiscretions situation. My business acumen or lack of a can cut both ways. And, and it also made me think about our, our Ask TCB from the other day.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Where the girl had a sister who wanted to date their stepbrother. So there was multiple marriages involved. But just know they don't blood related, but they, and there was a divorce involved and some time had gone by and one of her, her stepsister had another, they had another stepbrother from another marriage and they all remained friendly. And then the stepsister wanted to date the stepbrother who. They were not blood related. They were related by marriage and the divorce had happened so they were no longer family members. Technically they were soulmates and they were soul mates. And that's what she said and that's how she described it. And I thought to myself, yeah, why the. Not actually. And the more that I thought about that, the more entrenched I got in that position. And I don't know why, but it stuck with me. I was like, you know, that like. Okay, it's a little weird. It's a little unconventional. Yeah, I admit that. But, you know, it takes all kinds and you find people everywhere, you know, on Earth. And you know, technically, technically, when Astrid and I married, we became family members. And family members, we became like step second cousins.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And then we're also married. So I entrenched myself in this position because I don't want anyone throwing stones in my direction. When I became step extra x step second cousins in laws or something like.

[B]

That came into the family, I came.

[A]

Into the family and then I came into the family. I came in the family two different ways is basically how it happened. It's kind of weird, but, you know, whatever. Don't ask me how to explain how exactly that happened because no one knows. We just know that there's some. It's like True detective. There's a lot of circles involved.

[B]

It's true.

[A]

There's so many circles and I don't.

[B]

Know, there's no corpsicle. So that's no.

[A]

No corpseicle. There's no shriveled up dicks and clawed out eyeballs. In that new. In that new True Detective. Oh, this? In this. I wanted to piggy front off this. Get your piggy fronting sticker now available with a microscope. So. Yeah, I'll give it you one. You can have one.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

You're welcome. Times are tough. We gotta save all the stickers. Love is blind is coming back.

[B]

Let me think about which one. The one with the. The pods.

[A]

The pods.

[B]

I'm over that one.

[A]

You are? Oh, I thought this last season they only had two couples that even survived all, you know, through that honeymoon. But I did find myself.

[B]

I've moved on now to the married at first sight or whatever.

[A]

Married at first sight. Yeah. Is the. The latest season?

[B]

Yeah, I think. I don't know.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But I've stuck with it so far. I think that is crazy. I mean, that's really wild.

[A]

It's really wild.

[B]

But they have professional people that are doing the matching. They've got like the. There's somebody from, like they're religious and then there's the.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

The licensed.

[A]

Licensed sex therapist. Like a psycho psychologist.

[B]

There's like three.

[A]

Yeah, there's three.

[B]

And they all could, you know, they. They do extensive inter. And they match people. And it is very interesting.

[A]

It's very interesting. But their hit rate is still about the same as it is out there in the real world. Meaning that the divorce rate is. Yeah, it's Very interesting. But it's very interesting in the sense that, you know, arranged marriages do work. That's the truth. They work about as much as a marriage and any other way that you would meet.

[B]

Right. Well, that's the thing. It kind of makes me. It's thought provoking to me because I think, well, these people really do have a lot of things in common and maybe if they had met on their own or like in a different circumstance where you don't. All of a sudden you're married and you're moved in.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

With each other.

[A]

Yeah. It's the real deal.

[B]

Living with somebody just in itself can, you know, drive you apart.

[A]

But.

[B]

But if you had built organically on that, maybe they would have lasted. I don't know. It brings up a lot of little questions.

[A]

I agree with you. I think it's a very thought provoking show. I think it was from the beginning a very thought provoking show. Married at First Sight America. Married at First Sight Australia. I'm sure they have different ver. I think they have maths in England too. They call it maths. It's. It's short. We're all talking code here about Married at First Sight. But the reason why math, I just learned that. But the reason why I'm kind of soured a little bit on Married at First Sight is because it's not sensationalized and I want it to be sensational.

[B]

That's why I've soured on the Love is Blind.

[A]

Okay. That's why you soured. I don't know. I want to be entertained also. And I'm not always entertained with maps anymore because it's just a little dry. Sometimes they go to kind of the regular rigamaro and meeting the family. I don't really get along with his mother. I don't really. Well, I can deal with that in my own life. Like I see that in my own life. What I want is over dramatic, clearly mentally ill human beings dating each other so that I can make fun of. I can feel better about my own relationship.

[B]

I might dip my toe back into that pod.

[A]

Let me tell you why I think it might be a good idea. Why? I might think that'd be a good idea. That might be a good idea. This season.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

They are bringing back couples that didn't work out. Oh. From previous seasons.

[B]

Okay. Well, I did putting them in previous seasons, except for this past one.

[A]

Okay. I think you should watch the last one. I think it was really interesting, actually.

[B]

I thought you said it was horrible.

[A]

It. No, I think I said that about maths. I'm not sure I said that about Love is blind. I actually we did like the love is blind season in general.

[B]

Well, the one they were trying to do, the live reunion or something.

[A]

Oh, that was two seasons ago. Yeah. What a.

[B]

That they're turning these things out.

[A]

Out. What's that?

[B]

They're just churning these things.

[A]

It's a Netflix hit. They have them in seven different countries, seven different languages. A lot of people are watching them. I can't do it with all the reading. I just can't do it. Or they have terrible, like, you know, they do overdubbing and it's just terrible. It's horrible. But I can't do it in the other countries. But here Love is blind. There's been hit or miss seasons. There's like four, five, six, seven, something like that. Seasons. Now, the first couple were great. There was a couple duds. Now, I think this last season was okay. But I am super interested to see what happens when they put people who have already been in the pods together. Because now they've sharpened up their game. They know what's going on. They're fame hungry, and they want to get that. That screen time, and they're willing to probably to do anything to get it. And so I am all about it. Bring those rejects back and let's have a good time.

[B]

Okay, I'll dip my toe in there. The one that I could not that I really got it, it irked me was the one about the. The marry me or not one to where they do you know what I'm talking about? The one where they. Couples, okay? Like, say 10 couples who have not married yet. Oh, one wants to get married, the other one maybe doesn't want to. And then they switch. Yes, couples. Yes, somebody else. It's crazy.

[A]

First of all, can we talk about how much money this Nick Lachey and Vanessa are getting paid to do? Absolutely nothing. Absolutely nothing.

[B]

As the Bachelor.

[A]

As the Bachelor. Yeah. Now they got a new bachelor guy.

[B]

Final rose.

[A]

Ladies, there's 26 roses left. Prepare to say your goodbyes. Go ahead. I'll behind you.

[B]

Behind the curtain.

[A]

And he goes and, like, hides behind the curtain. And then he's like, Ladies, 21 roses left. You're probably going to get rejected. I'll be back here. I know. Ladies, you all just got drunk on this first night. There's lots of B roll footage we're going to use to embarrass you and your family. Prepare to say goodbyes. Four roses left. And then final rose comes Out. I was watching this the other night with Astrid. I, like, I went to go take a shower and I got stuck in the. In the final rose ceremony.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And these caddy ass women, I mean, I swear to God, they are. Well, it gets down to, like, you know, the last four roses is. And these girls are literally throwing a fit. They're like. And then they have the cutaways, Right? And it's like I'm just sitting there and I'm like, what is. Whatever his name is. What is Clayton doing? What is Clayton doing? Right? Why am I stopping? Oh. In this season, they have two sisters on the same Bachelor.

[B]

I'm not getting into it.

[A]

And Astrid goes, one of those sisters is a total. There's no way that he gets her. There's no way that. I watched the whole episode. There's just no way he doesn't like her at all. And I go, astrid, you are watching a television program. The sisters will continue.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Probably until the bitter end. Yes. If the producers have their choice, it'll be the two sisters with the final rose, I promise you. And guess what? I was right. And she's like, oh, I would have never guessed that. And I'm like, honey, it's a television show. The producers are in this guy's ear all the time, and the guy knows what he. What he signs up for. He doesn't sign up to find love. Maybe that happens. He signs up to make entertaining television. That's. That's the point. But I did watch that other. Where they mix the couples up and Nicholas, Shay and Vanessa.

[B]

What? Would you like to get married now after you just slept with the other guy With. From the pool.

[A]

Exactly. Did any one of those couples work out? I didn't see the end because I only watched two episodes and I was bored. I was bored because the premise is ridiculous.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Take a situation where you're questioning everything about the relationship and then put some hot ass in front of them and ply them with liquor and a television camera and see how things work out. Well, I can already. I telegraph that one a mile away. Guess what? None of these guys are going to. None of these couples are walking away any kind of healthy. I would dare, dare you to go Google those couples and see if one of them is still together to this day. I promise you. My guess is they're not. Yeah, because how do you go through.

[B]

Something like they were or they are because they planned it? I mean, that's the other thing. When I watch some of these shows, I'm like, how Planned out. Did they do that? That, like, to a certain extent of like, look, we're gonna go apply for the show separately.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And we're gonna try and get on and see if we can get on. And then, I don't know, they're just like, this is ahead.

[A]

This is why you got to watch the last season of Love is Blind. Because this exact quandary presents itself in the season. Two people who had been dating each other show up on Love is Blind. There's a lot of questions about how both of them got on there there, how this slipped by the producers, how no one knew this, and it becomes a big blow up. So I want you to watch that season because I think that this is. This was the most interesting part about that season is it's like, oh, holy. They had actually dated before and then they connected in the pods on the first episode. But what you don't see. And I'm just gonna, like a little spoiler alert. What you don't see, the producers don't show you that. They discover I'm Almost immediately, like within 30 minutes, they discover, oh, my God, your voice is familiar. Everything you're saying is familiar. Are you so and so? Yes. So. But it's not until like the fifth episode that you learn this and you're like, wow, that's crazy. And the shoe drops. I like that. Sensationalized. I want to be entertained. I want to be entertained. That's why I watch My Thousand Pound Sisters and all this other stuff. It's because it's highly entertaining. It's just an entertaining. It's a. It's exact opposite of my life. And maths is too close to it because they're actually trying to put couples together.

[B]

That's why I like the Housewives and all the Bravo stuff.

[A]

I love the you love the real.

[B]

Now we know none of it's real.

[A]

Well, that's true too. So if it's not real, then let's just have fun. Yeah. See, I'm right again.

[B]

To be fair.

[A]

To be fair, I'm right this one time today. Okay. Yeah. Listen. Protect the elderly. Protect that next door. Get that next door app. Get that CEO. Pull him in front of Congress and ask him what he's doing. He or she, whoever it is. Okay, we're gonna do a Next door episode where we just find a good. Next door.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, Chrissy, it's so. That is entertaining. That should be a television show. We should follow these people around who are posting the Next door and see what they do on A daily basis. Basis. My groceries got dropped off somewhere else. Let me know if you find them. What? Seriously?

[B]

I love the turtle notifications to say it today. No, no, I will not be doing that.

[A]

I don't need.

[B]

Because when I first signed up years ago, I got 1,000 notifications, of course, every day.

[A]

Because Grandma Jean is like literally talking into Siri, telling her everything she's doing. Right? I took a. It came out Purple. Call 911.

[B]

Animal Control.

[A]

Call animal control. There's a trash tiger out. Trash tiger. That guy was funny. I like that. All right. TCVpodcast.com that's where you go. You find out more information about the show. All the audio, all the video right there from one location. You can view the entire library right there. You can also get your free piggy fronting sticker. Go to the contact us button, drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Send us your address and we'll send it off to you in 7 to 12 months. Be right there. Right there in your mailbox. If Gene Grandma Jean doesn't get to it first.

[B]

Right? Steal it.

[A]

Spotted suspicious piggy fronting stamp.

[B]

This is how they get you.

[A]

That's how they get you.

[B]

They're trying to traffic you.

[A]

That's right. 626 Ask TCB the number three. That's 1626 Ask TCB and Z number three. Go ahead and text us your questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. We take them all. Brian's mom coming back on the show here very soon.

[B]

Right?

[A]

So if you have a question for. We already have some questions. But if you have a question for, text it to us. We would love to know at the commercial break on Instagram TCB podcast on Tick Tock. Not for anybody under 13 years old. YouTube.com the commercial break for clips and full interviews and full episodes. All that good stuff. And now audio version on the rss feed on YouTube. Okay, Chrissy, I definitely think that's all I can do for today.

[B]

I think so.

[A]

So I'll tell you that I love you.

[B]

I love you.

[A]

And I'll say best to you.

[B]

Best to you.

[A]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Quotidian but good. Until next time. We must say, we always say, and we do say goodbye. Sa.