JagerFace

Summary

The Commercial Break – “JagerFace” (May 22, 2024)

Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Podcast Type: Improv-comedy, pop culture, relationship drama, unfiltered banter
Episode Summary Prepared by A.I. Chat Bot

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Overview — “JagerFace”

This episode captures everything fans love (or don’t) about The Commercial Break: wild, improv-style banter between Bryan and Krissy, outrageous personal stories, funny pop culture commentary, and the duo’s gleefully chaotic energy. The main thread weaves together misadventures in event planning, the power of kids’ TV (specifically “Bluey”), out-of-control middle-aged party culture, bizarre health fads, and bodily functions in bookstores. “JagerFace” refers to the expression one gets after too much Jagermeister—a recurring reference point for the oddball crowd Bryan once served at an Atlanta restaurant. The episode’s tone is loose, irreverent, and “self-aware garbage in the best way,” as Bryan might say.

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Key Discussion Points

1. The Bluey Debacle & Event Planning Gone Wrong

• Bluey’s Unexpected Power: Bryan recounts a viral news story where a Las Vegas hot dog restaurant vastly underestimated demand for a Bluey-themed day. Over 1,500 people showed up, food ran out, the “Bluey” was just an employee in a poncho—creating a local media fiasco.
  • Bryan (01:24): “The Bluey that they had show up was not a Bluey at all. It was one of their workers that was in a rain poncho... Even the kids weren’t buying it. Even the children they interviewed.”
• Parental Fandom: Discussion of how parents’ obsession with kids’ shows like Bluey can fuel these types of chaotic events. Bryan jokes Bluey is “the entertaining Buddha of children’s cartoons” (03:43).

Bryan’s Event Fiasco Story

• Bryan shares his experience planning a benefit festival (Aqua Blues Fest) as a restaurant GM: big plans, big budget, wild Thursday night crowds, and a total rain-soaked disaster that nearly bankrupted the place but mercifully broke even.
  • Bryan (10:17): “If you spend 100 grand, you’ll get $5 million back—...I was just guessing!”
  • Rain ruins everything (13:01): "It did rain at least 5 inches exactly where we were..."
  • On Aqua Blue’s crowd (07:37): "On Thursdays anyone over 50 within a 30-mile radius showed up to get high on cocaine, drunk, and show their fake boobies."
  • Event ends in alcohol-fueled mayhem (15:09): “Everyone that worked at that festival at least got paid in rails… just grinding their teeth to nubs.”
• Krissy remembers the restaurant as a wild scene even before knowing Bryan.
• Reflections on “older folks” (“they just want to get lit up... like The Villages”) — seeing middle-aged and older adults regress into party animals (18:25).

2. Middle-age Mayhem & the Forever Party Crowd

• The new-old hedonists: “I am gonna go ape!” (18:59) — tales of affluent 50- and 60-somethings flaunting wealth, doing drugs, and partying like it’s still the ‘80s.
• The Florida “Villages” as ground zero for this culture—cops busting meth, rampant STDs, ayahuasca trips (21:14).

3. Parental Partying & Bad Decisions

• The struggle of being a functional adult while partying hard, especially around kids.

• Bryan expresses disbelief at those who can party all night and still parent the next morning:

  • Bryan (36:12): "I could never understand for the life... how you can function as a grown ass adult raising these little blobs of nothing and be hungover or be high or be drunk..."

• Memories of “children at festivals” (parents howling at the moon while teens watch the toddlers). Bryan jests: “My kids will never be asleep in a tent while I'm at a mother moon cycle. Never.” (38:53)

4. ‘Ozempic Face’, Health Fads, and Modern Zombies

• Ozempic Face: The trending worry about anti-obesity drugs leading to a weird, gaunt facial appearance. Bryan describes reading about muscle loss on Ozempic and seeing “celebrity galleries” where famous faces seem to collapse.
  • Bryan (27:53): “Would you take Ozempic?”
  • Krissy (27:42): “Yeah, I think so.”
  • They debate the healthiness and social impacts of new weight loss drugs: “We're actually turning ourselves into zombies.” (30:20)
• New cocktails for the senior crowd: Bryan jokes about a “cocktail” mixing Jagermeister, amphetamines, and Ozempic to keep old folks going forever (32:24).

5. JagerFace, Jaeger Bombs & Party Regrets

• The origin of “JagerFace”: the post-shot look after too much Jagermeister.
  • Bryan (33:23): “Jaeger face and Ozempic face are very similar. Only one is induced by just not being able to lift your jaw up off the ground.”
• Reminiscences of “nine innings of drinking,” team-building Jaeger shots, and regrettable hangovers:
  • Bryan (34:22): “One’s taking you up, one’s bringing you down, pick and choose kids. Pick and choose.”
  • Bryan (35:43): “That is the worst feeling in the world...I could jump off my roof right now and land headfirst on the cement and probably feel better than I do right now.”

6. The Bookstore Poop Phenomenon & Bodily Science

• Delving into an Internet/medical oddity: Why do some people feel the “sudden urge to poop” in bookstores?
  • The “Aoki Mariko” effect—habit, the vagus nerve, and how environments spark bodily reactions.
  • Bryan (43:04): “Maybe our bodies have been trained that when there’s a book in front of us, we just have to go poo poo. Number two, pee pee poo poo.”
• Krissy and Bryan riff on bodily dysfunction, restaurant bathrooms, and why Red Lobster’s cheddar biscuits might hit your “vagus nerve” (45:13).

7. The Decline of Chili’s, Red Lobster & Nostalgia for Chain Dining

• Closure of iconic chain restaurants, musings about why they’ve failed, and how technology (ordering by iPad) is making everything less personal.
• Bryan (49:13): “Ordering my food and then having to tip someone to do that seems a little strange to me.”

8. Meta-Moments: The Self-Deprecating Show

• Krissy and Bryan repeatedly make fun of their own mediocrity:
  • Krissy (51:08): “The mediocrest podcast in the entire universe. It's wizardry. It's hard to be this mediocre.”
  • Bryan (51:29): “We are literally the worst of the worst. On purpose.”
• Jokes about AI never taking over the show because “no one’s going to spend the computing power to ever put us into AI.” (50:35)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-----------|-------|---------| | 01:24 | “The Bluey that they had show up was not a Bluey at all. It was one of their workers that was in a rain poncho, a Bluey rain poncho. Even the kids weren’t buying it.” | Bryan | | 03:43 | “It’s the entertaining Buddha of children’s cartoons.” | Bryan | | 07:37 | “On Thursdays anyone over 50 within a 30-mile radius showed up to get high on cocaine, drunk, and show their fake boobies.” | Bryan | | 13:01 | “It did rain at least 5 inches exactly where we were. That was the problem.” | Bryan | | 15:09 | “Everyone that worked at that festival, quote, unquote, worked at it, volunteered at it at least got paid in rails because you could tell who was with us because (they were) grinding their teeth to nubs.” | Bryan | | 18:59 | “I am gonna go ape!” | Bryan | | 21:14 | “STDs are rampant. People... just caught a guy... he had 450 tablets of pure MDMA flown in from Switzerland. He lives in the Villages. He was like, personal use, personal use!” | Bryan | | 27:42 | “Would you take Ozempic?” — “Yeah, I think so.” | Bryan & Krissy | | 33:23 | “Jaeger face and Ozempic face are very similar. Only one is induced by just not being able to lift your jaw up off the ground.” | Bryan | | 34:22 | “Pick and choose, kids. Pick and choose.” | Bryan (on Jaeger Bombs) | | 36:12 | “How can you function as a grown ass adult raising these little tiny blobs of nothing and be hungover or be high or be drunk? ...I could never understand for the life, ever...” | Bryan | | 43:04 | “Maybe our brains, generation after generation... when there’s a book in front of us, we just have to go poo poo. Number two, pee pee poo poo.” | Bryan | | 51:08 | “The mediocrest podcast in the entire universe. It’s wizardry. It’s hard to be this mediocre.” | Krissy | | 52:17 | “It was called Instabam. It was a dating app where you just got laid.” | Krissy |

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00 – 03:13: Bluey event disaster, parenting culture, kids’ TV
• 06:10 – 16:25: Bryan’s wild restaurant/event planning story
• 18:25 – 21:40: Old folks gone wild, The Villages
• 26:31 – 32:24: Ozempic face, drug fad conversation, “modern zombies”
• 33:12 – 39:41: Jaegerface, drinking, the misery of party hangovers and parenting
• 40:48 – 46:02: Pooping in bookstores—medical explanations and more bodily humor
• 46:34 – 49:13: Decline of chain restaurants; nostalgia and technology complaints
• 51:08 – 52:17: Self-deprecating meta-commentary; “the mediocrest podcast”
• 52:17 – End: Quick comments about future topics, Krissy’s dating app joke, episode wrap-up

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Closing Thoughts

This episode is classic Commercial Break: a blend of sincere confession, wry self-roasting, and the sort of chaotic, circular storytelling that’s more about friendship than “content.” If you want polished true-crime or crisp celebrity interviews, look elsewhere. If you want to feel like you’re sharing Jaeger Bombs with two friends in a parking lot full of swinging boomers, you’ll find a lot to love—or at least laugh at—here.

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Next episode tease: Love is Blind Exposé (to be discussed tomorrow)
Contact the show: 212-4333-TCB, www.tcbpodcast.com
Follow on Instagram: @thecommercialbreak
YouTube: YouTube.com/thecommercialbreak

Transcript

[A]

Shout out to the class of 2024. You guys made it. I'm so proud of y'. All. But let me go and let you know, baby, life is gonna grab you by the back of your neck like a dog and finna walk you down, baby. Please take your time. On this episode of the commercial break. I know it's 4:30 in the afternoon and we're just finishing up nine innings of drinking, but we're gonna go back at cold call. Cold call. Cold call we have. So take a couple more Jaeger shots. It's Chrissy from the radio station. I was wondering if. Jaeger face, let me call you.

[B]

Yeah, Jaeger face.

[A]

Oh, yeah. That Jaeger face you can't mistake. Jaeger face and ozempic face are very similar. Only one is induced by just not being able to lift your jaw up off the ground. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, boy. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the bluey to my bingo. Kristen Joy Ho lay best to you.

[C]

Chris Best.

[A]

Brian, best to you out there in the podcast universe. I read an article, it's all over the Internet actually, about this restaurant in Arizona, hot dog restaurant. Is it in Arizona? Hold on one second, let me, let me get a fact of this. Right. I'll get one fact. Las Vegas. So it's not in Arizona. Close. It's out there somewhere.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Las Vegas hot dog restaurant apologizes after sorely underestimating the power of bluey. So here's how it goes. At least in my mind since I read the story three days ago. Now I'll probably just fuck it all up. Local hot dog restaurant says it's bluey day at the hot dog restaurant. So bring your kids. We're gonna have bluey. We're gonna give away trinkets and trinkets and all this swag, this bluey swag. We're gonna have a fun time. It's gonna be a. It's gonna be a blast. The owner says in a like post event conference, right? Because now he has to go around the entire country apologizing. Apparently. He says, listen, I expected but over 1500 people RSVP on the Facebook event page and they had lines out the wazoo. They ran out of food, they ran out of swag. The bluey that they had show up was not a bluey at all. It was one of their workers that was in a poncho, a rain poncho, a bluey rain poncho. And expected to get away with it. Even the kids weren't buying it. Even the children they interviewed. Like the news station was there. The news station showed up to bust the balls of this hot dog stand. It was unbelievable. And now the owners. A bluey poncho. Now, you know, granted, I think we're making a mountain out of a molehill on this one. They just did. They were just having some fun and you guys decided to show up and take it seriously. But a Bluey rain pun, you could have done a little bit.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Go to the Halloween. Halloween spirit or whatever those things are in empty stores across America and go buy yourself a Bluey costume. At least. At least. The very least. I'm not sure this was at all sanctioned. I'm sure it wasn't sanctioned.

[B]

Probably not. No.

[A]

They're probably gonna get sued on top of this.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

All this bad press is gonna bring them a lawsuit from called McDisney couple. But I'm telling you, this show is just taking parents and kids by storm.

[B]

And it's everywhere.

[A]

I know, and I've heard this from. From listeners who've been texting back and forth. I know that if you don't have children, you have no clue what I'm talking about. And I wish I also had no fucking clue what I'm talking about. Trust me. I wish that these children's shows weren't playing 24 hours a day at my house. But Bluey, which we've talked about, which I did a whole ode to Bluey, you gotta watch it. It's really stoned drunk fight with your wife, trying to make your relationship better. Trying to be a better person. Watch Bluey.

[B]

It's like when in doubt, watch Bluey.

[A]

It's the entertaining Buddha of children's cartoons. You will get it. It will be funny. And you don't have to have kids. You were a kid to understand what he's going through. But don't with the Bluey parents do. Not with Disney adults. That's all I gotta say. The Disney adults will come out of force.

[B]

God.

[A]

So this hot dog stand, learning that the. The hard way.

[B]

Yeah. The power of Bluey.

[A]

Yeah, the power of Bluey. It's just. It feels kind of.

[B]

And of putting on a shitty event.

[A]

Yeah, well, we've all been guilty of that once or twice, right? So story time with Brian. Story time with Brian. Here, let me get another.

[B]

I mean, to me, if they had that many RSVPs, they at least could have had enough food.

[A]

I just don't think they took it. I just Didn't. I don't think they knew exactly what they were getting themselves into. They must have known something because hence the Bluey event at all. One of them was apparent somewhere said, I've seen Bluey and I know what this is all about. Let's do a Bluey day at the hot dog stand. But I just think they underestimated totally their ability to control a crowd of 1500-2000 people showing up to a hot dog fucking stand in Las Vegas trying to buy, get swag, meet Bluey. All this other stuff, it just didn't work. So now it's just a bad event. You're right about that. It's bad event planning. Did they have extra porta potties? Was there security? Did they get the street roped off? Did they have lines? Did they have extra hot dogs available? Probably none of that. Hence, and this is all spotlighted by the fact that someone actually went into Walmart or wherever they went and decided that for the Bluey costume, let's get a Bluey poncho and we'll put Sam in it. And Sam can stand out there and disappoint children all across the greater Las Vegas area. Sam can cause nightmares for kids under 10 all across the Las Vegas area. Fucking insane.

[C]

All right.

[A]

But bad events, it's not easy to put on an event.

[B]

It's not.

[A]

Story time with Brian. Yes, when I was working at, I used to put on events in a very disorganized and weird way. But I did do some festivals, right. A few of them went off unbelievably without anybody getting killed. A few trips to the hospital. But that's to be expected when you put on a three day festival in the mountains without proper electricity, security or anything like that. But I got into the restaurant business or I was in the restaurant business while I was still doing that. And I was like the general sounds.

[B]

Like a good idea.

[A]

It's a terrible idea.

[B]

It is a lot of work. A lot more work.

[A]

I'm singing to the choir right now. And not necessarily Chrissy, but her husband. And since they're married, I've heard they talk to each other other. And I'm watching on the cameras. The cameras, the Hly cam. It's the only cam. So Jeff knows all about this because he actually knows how to put on an event and does that pretty well four or five times a year. But I was just a young to do. I was just a young buck. And Brian.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And one time I got sounded good. Yeah, I got invited to help out with some stuff for the music Midtown and then the Piedmont Dogwood Festival. And I thought just because I was running one of those stages, that I, in fact, knew how to put on an event. The whole thing equally as big and as organized. Because I had seen. I had a walkie talkie.

[B]

You heard what was going on.

[A]

I heard what was going on. I was there firsthand. 15 and a half Michelob ultras into it, because that's what the Dogwood Festival is sponsored by, Michelob Ultra. I never forget that weekend or a couple of years I did that, actually. Um, so when I was working in the restaurant business, I had become a manager, a general manager at this restaurant. Like this, as they call it, fine dining. But it was a. It was a nice restaurant here in where I live.

[B]

The Chianti Classico.

[A]

Not the Chianti Classico. This was the sushi slash Mexican slash American.

[B]

Right, right, right.

[A]

Where they served every type of food. And on Thursdays, anyone over 50 within a 30 mile radius showed up to get high on cocaine drunk and show their fake boobies. I mean, it was just an unbelievable scene on Thursday. Unbelievable, unbelievable.

[B]

Thursday.

[A]

It was the place to be. It was a Thursday. A Thursday. None of these people had jobs. They all had too much money. But it was fun. It was fun. I do have to say that we had some fun.

[B]

I bet.

[A]

Yeah. So I got this thought in my head, what if. And we had this huge parking lot. It was in this strip mall. It was an independent building, but that strip mall had a huge parking lot. And we had a huge parking lot. And on Saturdays and Sundays, the parking lot was basically empty. There was none of those businesses, almost none of them were open. And so I got this. Started rambling around this idea in my head for like a week. What if we put on a festival, right? And the restaurant was called Aqua Blue. And so I thought, what if we put on the Aqua Blues Fest, right? And we get some musicians and we put a stage in the corner and we charge some money. It was a girl that I knew at the time, a lady that I knew. Her daughter had cancer, had brain cancer. She was like 10 years old. And I had been to, like, fun runs and helped raise money for this and that. I just. I really, really, really had a. Like a soft spot for this young lady who was going through a terrible, terrible thing and likely wasn't going to survive. But I thought, what if we do this and then we give some of it to charity? It's like a benefit, right? And so after long, long nights of Cocaine and Bud bud light induced PowerPoint presentationing that my ex wife would write the PowerPoint presentation while I was pacing back and forth in the house yelling out to her what to write. Porta Potties. $10,000. Stage $5,000. I was just guessing. That's what I was doing. I was guessing fencing. $500. $500 for fencing. It was $50,000 for fencing. So I make this whole PowerPoint presentation. I run over it night after night, drunk after drunk, stone after stone, and I am just convinced that this is going to not only make a lot of money for whoever decides they're going to put the money up for this, but it's going to make a lot of money for this young lady who I just, you know, I was really. I was trying to be altruistic, actually. I didn't care how much. Yeah, it was, it was. That was back when I give a shit. No, I don't care anymore.

[B]

Yes, you do.

[A]

Of course I do. So I go to the owners of this restaurant and I say, hey, guys, here's my plan of action. I just like plop down this PowerPoint presentation and I'm like, if you spend 100 grand, you'll get $5 million back. I don't think it was 100 grand. I think, I'm just guessing, but I think it was like $25,000. Now this is almost two decades ago, so $25,000 is not what it is today.

[B]

It did go further than.

[A]

Way further than. So I. $25,000. I could do it for 25,000. I actually made the effort to pick up the phone and call a few of the vendors to ask how much money I would spend. And I'd be like, you know, Porta Potties. I had budgeted $5,000. The guy was like, $1500. I was like, See, I'm already saving money fencing. $5,000. How much is that? $50,000. I was like, what if we make the area smaller? Or what if we don't have any fencing in this particular area? And the guy was like, well, fine with me. But you do realize that people are just going to walk in, right? And so then I. So then I had to convince the guy with me, yeah, it's fine with me. I don't know about the guys who are putting up the money, but yeah, yeah, let's just make the circle a little smaller. I got like an actual stage. We're talking like a professional stage up high in the air. Big speakers, lighting, the whole nine yards. And so we spent months Planning this. And everybody was getting really, really excited. And we had a PR firm and they did pr. And I expected. I had estimated, and I think the number was 10,000 people were gonna show.

[B]

Up to this, to the tiny fence.

[A]

It was a big park. Well, actually, we ended up buying more fencing so we can make it bigger because everyone was convinced this was just gonna. It was gonna be huge. It was gonna be the lollapalooza of the parking lot. North Atlanta. It was a parking lot. It was a parking lot. I mean, which is fine for a day fest. You know, it's not like we had people camping there. Right. I mean, I camped there, but we didn't have anybody else camping there. So I convinced these owners, and they are gung ho. To their credit. They go right along with it. I go way over the budget. Of course you do. That's just what happens. You know, I'm paying the bands this and the stage guy that and the lighting crew this. And I got to get security and I got to have off duty officers and I got to check IDs and have bracelets and the. You know, then we get cups made and shirts and hats and all this other stuff. Yeah, so we got it all. I mean, I. I really think I tried my best to have this pretty well thought out. So two nights before, we start coning off, like, roping off some of the parking lot, right? Okay. It's. I think we had it on a Saturday night. So, like, late Thursday night, I start roping off parts of the. The areas. Remember, me and my brother Danny were out there doing this by ourselves. You know, flashlights in the middle of the night, roping off an empty parking lot. An empty parking lot that no one was parking. Anyway. Anyway, so the night before the stage comes in, the fencing's coming, the trash cans, all this other stuff. Everyone's kind of arriving between 7 and 2 in the morning. So we are really busy between 7 and 2 in the morning. The one thing that we had forgotten about, the one thing that we didn't take into consideration, the one thing I wish I had thought better of, was rain. What happens if rain comes?

[B]

The weather.

[A]

So 24 hours before this goes off, I am smiling and dialing everybody that I can to find event insurance, rain insurance. And I finally get a company that says, okay, we'll do it, but it has to be, you know, the rain has to rain more than a quarter of an inch in an hour, as per the weather station at the local airport. The airport that's closest. And I'm like, okay. And no shit, it is scheduled to rain the entire fucking day. Rain, rain, rain, rain, rain. And I'm like, okay, but at least we event insurance, they'll pay out in case, right? So now we are all praying for more than a quarter of inch of rain to happen during this festival. Total washout. That's what we want now. Total washout. And we make big bucks. It's going to be fun. We'll have a great time dancing in the rain. Yeah, it never rained more than a quarter of an inch anywhere at that airport. However, it did rain at least 5 inches. Exactly where we were. That was the problem. Chrissy, this thing failed in so many ways. I can't even tell you. It wasn't the worst event I've put on, but it was pretty. It was probably the biggest flop that I've had because I'll tell you what, we had sold like these vendors, these booths around the gate, right? We're talking like, probably like a 45,000 square foot area. I mean, I just had it all fenced off there. I don't think at any given time was there more than 500 people in the restaurant, out of the restaurant, in the parking lot. And that's including the vendors and people that were there working with the band. I'll never forget that the first band that played played to no one. It was pouring down rain. Somehow it was still 98 degrees outside and it was just pouring down rain. So it ended up turning into a shit show where all 500 people crammed into the restaurant and the bartenders couldn't handle it. We didn't have enough staff, we didn't have enough beer, we didn't have enough wine. So eventually the bartenders, I think, I'm pretty sure just started. We had to call in other bartenders from other restaurants. They didn't even know our bar. They were just like showing up to help and they were just pouring drinks. Of course they were. They weren't charging anybody. Give me a tip. $10, whatever. It turned into absolute debauchery.

[B]

Mayhem.

[A]

Yeah. Not only that, but someone decided to invite the drug dealer super early in the afternoon. So everyone was twacked out. I mean, twacked, whacked, gums, grinding. Everyone that worked at that festival, quote, unquote, worked at it, volunteered at it at least got paid in rails because it was just like you could tell who was. Who was with us because grinding their teeth to us. Mortgage Morgan's like little tiny little nubs. It was terrible. Terrible. Somehow some way we broke Even somehow, some way, we broke even. Wow.

[B]

I did not expect you to say that.

[A]

I don't. I didn't expect that to happen. But. And I wasn't in charge of the money, so I don't. I don't really know. But, you know, when it was all said and done, they were like, well, at least we didn't lose money. We broke even. And I was like, oh, okay. Is there any leftover for me? And I will, like, production management. No, no, no, no. None left for you. Brian, could you get that stage out of our parking lot? Because we have to open on Sundays now. Thanks to you for the next three years. That restaurant, by the way, bulldozed three years ago. Thanks, Aqua Blues Fest. Thanks so much.

[B]

The funny thing is, I think I remember going that places. What you're talking about is before we knew each other. But. But I think I went to that restaurant one time on a Thursday night on a whim because I was in the area for like a networking event or something. And a friend of mine, who we both know, and I went to there and it was wild on that Thursday night. Yeah, it. You were right. It was an older crowd. Everybody was flashing money and veneers and boobs and. Yeah, it was crazy.

[A]

Yeah, Tits, cash, Amex, Platinums. Like, I mean, it was just incredibly wild on Thursday nights because they had these special.

[B]

It was like ladies night or something.

[A]

It was free appetizers. We would put out free appetizers for the first two hours, but the party would last until like one in the morning. We literally stayed open. The restaurant closed at 10 on every other night except for Fridays and Saturdays that close at 11. But we had to stay till 1 in the morning on Thursdays because it was a money maker. They just put out some free appetizers. And what ended up happening? Anyone, like I said, anyone over 50, 55 years old that was single? Not single swingers, I don't know. And here's.

[B]

It was the place.

[A]

I'm under this impression, and I think I understand.

[B]

I think I was in my late 20s and I left. I was like, I can't hang.

[A]

I can't hang. These people are crazy. These guys are buying Infinite Jaeger shots on and on forever. The drug dealers have never been so busy. You could tell who they were because they were the youngest guys in the room, but they were just like, happy as clam when that. When that thing got bulldozed. I bet some drug dealers went out of business. I'm being serious because I think those Thursdays went on Till the day it closed, decades after I stopped working there. But I'm telling you right now, it was just like. I'm under the impression that older folks now, older folks, people that were born in the 50s, 60s, maybe even the early 70s, they don't give two shits. They want to get lit up. It's like the Villages.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They want to get lit up.

[B]

So true.

[A]

They don't care. They grew up with it. They're ready to do it again. They probably put it down for a period of their life and said, you know what, I got to be on the straight and narrow, raise these children. Have, you know.

[B]

Yeah, the kids are grown. They've been divorced and remarried once or twice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they're ready to just party.

[A]

Yeah. They're like, the 80s was fantastic. I did so much cocaine. And now I've got the money to do it. I've got the money to do it and a self driving Tesla to get me home. What do I give a about. I am gonna go ape.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

That's what is happening.

[B]

They have boats. They're boating.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I got. I got boats. I got it. I got a boat. Yeah. Yeah. Congratulations. It's a hole where you put money in. You might as well just take a fishing line and throw a bag of cash out there. It's a. I got. I got a boat. I got it on Lake Lanier. I got. I got a Tesla. I'm in the best shape of my life. Yeah. I got free appetizers and a gold card. Who's got cocaine? You've seen these dudes. They're out there. You know who they are? Oh, yeah, they're in their 60s.

[B]

They're Frankie Bees with them.

[A]

Yeah, they're Frankie Bees.

[B]

Yeah, they have that. They go boating on the weekends and just get wasted out there too. And then they're at the Thursday night sushi place.

[A]

Yes, they're at the Thursday night sushi place in Italy.

[B]

They basically work Monday through Wednesday.

[A]

They don't work work.

[B]

Well, they manage their real estate portfolio or something.

[A]

They move money from their Smith Barney a car to their Barclays account. They just move some money around. We've all seen these dudes. It's the dudes who are likely gray, probably have that, you know, have that hair implant thing that I probably should start thinking about getting. And. And it doesn't matter what time of year it is. They are red as a tomato. They're just red. And I don't know if it's because they're angry. Yeah, High on cocaine. Yeah. Their skin is, like, crackled and broken and they're like, ah. They're just, like, drooling over these. Any. I, I, I actually loved it. I thought it was great. I was like, well, at least I got something forward. Looking forward.

[B]

It's entertaining.

[A]

Thursday nights in Aqua Blue. But no, it won't be because Aqua Blue is gone. There's another Thursday night somewhere I gotta find when I get that age. I'm not there yet.

[B]

Okay, we need to start scoping.

[A]

I still have another 26 years before I get these kids out of the house. I'm gonna be pretty old.

[B]

Chrissy, we'll just go straight to the Villages.

[A]

Hey, listen, the Villages is not a bad option because there is a big. That's a big party down there. This is, this is what's got me convinced because I'm reading all these stories, documentaries, everything about these villages where it is just ape. The cops are, like, busting people with 10 pounds of crystal meth.

[B]

STDs are rampant.

[A]

STDs are rampant. People like, they just caught A guy, like, three weeks ago, he had 450 tablets of pure NBMA flown in from Switzerland. They caught him flying back to the villages on a private jet. He lives in the villages. He was like, personal use, personal use, personal use.

[B]

Why not?

[A]

Yeah, do a little hashtag ayahuasca. Ayahuasca on Instagram and see how many of those very red human beings have decided they're going to get spiritually aligned with their chakras using ayahuasca in some Costa Rican jungle where you can also then go to the local brothel and get laid.

[B]

That'.

[A]

All right, let's take a break. We'll talk more about the Villages when we get back.

[D]

I know you're already on your phone, so pull up Instagram and follow us. Hecommercial break. And then follow us on TikTok@TCB podcast.

[A]

Done.

[D]

Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-4333, TCB. Or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story or anything, really. We're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-4333, TCV. And don't forget to check out TCVpodcast.com because that's got it all. Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the commercial break.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, it's, it's wild. I, you know, my dad isn't part of that group, but I kind of wish he was.

[B]

Me too. My dad's in the age group where he could be doing it and he has a boat, like.

[A]

Yeah, he's got a boat. Why? What dad? Come on, get right with God.

[B]

I know he's living a simple life.

[A]

Wow. My dad was never into that stuff. No, me, I don't think my dad has ever done drugs in his entire life. At least that's the, that's the line that he's been towing for so many years with us. Right. I think he didn't want him. If he did. I don't think he wanted to make it a door opener for us, number one. Number two, if he did, I think it was maybe once, maybe one time sometime long.

[B]

I think my dad smoked pot in college, but that's it. Yeah, I mean he was never a drinker, a smoker, nothing growing up, didn't go out boys nights. Yeah, nothing like that.

[A]

What a shame because, you know, I don't need it, but. Because I already have a lot of drama when it comes to parents. But I would think that it would be fun every once in a while to get a phone call from your drunk father, your high father, and just be like, I need you to pick me up at the strip club.

[B]

I had a friend and her dad was like that and he was so much fun.

[A]

He was, yeah, yeah, I had a friend like that. I think I told you I had a friend like that. And her dad was. He had cashed in because he wrote a software program and that software program he sold for like a couple hundred million dollars. And so then he kind of dabbled in work, but he never really went back to work full time. So the house, the very large house in the very nice part of town just became this very dysfunctional family of like strippers, high, high price girls that would like literally raise my friend when she was in like her teenage years. But she knew better, right? She was like. It was, it was kind of an interesting. It was interesting to get into the house and see it all go down. There'd be like these 26 year old girls, beautiful women, a lot of them very intelligent and empathetic and you know, just like lovely human beings. But it'd be funny because my friend would be the one raising them, though it appeared that they were raising my friend and her dad would just be like in the Jacuzzi chewing on Percocet and he just had too much money and too much time. Yeah. But I was always like, eh, if My dad would just. Could be like that for a couple of days. You know, I don't want. I like my dad just the way he is, but just for a couple of days. Say, I got a son. Pick me up at the, the Purple Elephant. I'm. I'm up, but I'm taking Tick Tock home with me. What's Tick Tock, Dad? I don't know. What's her name? Show up and my dad's got some skinny stripper with him. Just like, hey, Brian, didn't know to get any blow. I do, dad. I do. It's been a long time, but I'll make D. What up, D? I'm sorry, who's this? You know, D's had 34 phone numbers.

[B]

Oh, you know, last time I called him, they changed those things out. They have to.

[A]

I'd actually love to hear from people who have fathers that we're talking about. Like, yeah, if you have a father who in his older age just went the opposite direction. Like, a lot of fathers, they get more weird as time goes on. You know, they start pulling up their socks to their knees and they wear fanny packs and they, you know, check out things in the library and bring them back on time. Their whole day revolves around the practicalness, the next tax return. You know what I'm saying? Like, there's a lot of fathers that I know like that because I have one. But what about the fathers that went the opposite direction? I want to hear about those dads. If you've got one of those fathers, text us, because I'd like to hear. Or you can come on the show. I'd love to hear that. I'd love to hear about it directly from your mouth, please and thank you. You know what? I. I'm completely off topic as often we do. Do you been seeing the Ozempic face thing that's going on?

[B]

No, I mean, I've. I've read about it. It just. What? It's just a thinner face.

[A]

Yeah, but it's like the. Because so here's what I read about these weight loss drugs. And tell me if this sounds like it's true. When you, you lose the weight, you either lose fat mass or muscle fat. Right. It's either like fat fat or muscle fat or something along those lines. And that Ozempic is actually eating away at, mostly at the healthy fat, the muscle. The muscle fat. It takes. It burns off some of the regular fat, but then it's also making you, like, leaner as far as muscle is concerned. And so some doctors are saying this is not really a healthy way to lose weight because over time, you know, you can. It can cause a lot of problems to just be losing muscle, to just have it eating away.

[B]

That's the thing. I think there's a right way to do, to use those and a wrong way. And it's not just. You can't just. Just not eat and not exercise.

[A]

No, not.

[B]

And just. And yeah, you're. You're going to lose weight because you're not eating, but you're also not, you know, you're not exercising.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Either. And you may not even be. And when you do eat, maybe you're not eating healthy.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You know, so I think some people just are doing it the wrong way.

[A]

I don't know. Would you take Ozempic?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You would?

[B]

I think so.

[A]

Interesting. I. I don't know. I don't know. It's like I'm debating it in my. I don't think I need to take Ozempic, but if I did need to take Ozempic, I, you know, maybe, maybe I would give it a try.

[B]

I think it can be a good tool if you use it the right way.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, that's how that's being pitched now. Right. So all the big weight loss companies now have some component of them. Whether they bought a company that was like, online prescribing Ozempic or similar drugs like WeGovy or something like. Or whether or not they have actual adjunct doctors working inside of their companies. Almost every big weight loss company, Weight Watchers and all these other ones, they are now offering medical intervention in the form of these drugs. And so there's so many people that are taking them, and I think they're still terribly expensive. So I do believe that it's just mostly people who can afford it that are getting them. And, you know, you hear your horror stories, of course you're going to. No matter what medical technology is out there, you're going to hear a horror story. And. But Ozempic face is the new thing that everyone is talking about because people lose weight so quickly and they're losing a little bit of muscle, too. They kind of get those indentations in their face like dash, and it looks a little weird. And there was like, I was looking through a gallery of celebrities who either have admitted to or suspected to have me using Ozempic, where their face just gets so gaunt and thin. And Jessica, who's the, the girl, the chicken of the sea girl. Jessica Simpson. Yeah, Jessica Simpson was one of them. Them and it was disturbing. I mean it was like disturbing. I was, I thought to myself, I mean, listen you, everyone can take a bad picture and be caught in a bad light. Or maybe it was edited, I'm not sure. But if it was, if the picture I looked at was accurate, if it was an actual photograph that was taken, she did not look healthy. It looked really kind of sickening. It reminded me of those old Pink Floyd video. You remember you're high on acid and like the Pink Floyd. The wall would come on and be like down the wall. Those weird people with the long faces. That's what it reminded me of. Reminded me of like a real life zombie almost coming to life in between the Delta 8 that ever. What's that? That people are taking between Delta 8 and Delta 10, Delta 9 or whatever.

[B]

These derivatives of, of cannabis. Right?

[A]

That's right. They sell them everywhere. They sell, I just passed the store this afternoon. They look, they're popping up on every corner. We sell thc. No, you don't really sell thc. You sell some manipulated version of thc. I mean, I understand it's technically thc, but it's not like the real good kind like the Dippity Dabs, you know, just a Latina. Just need a little tasty. Tina. But between the Ozempic and the Delta 8, I'm, I think we have like real life zombies out there in the world.

[B]

Could be.

[A]

I, I'm, I feel like it. Yeah, we're actually turning ourselves into zombies. And that is a little bit strange to me. I, that's the thing that I fear about any of these medical interventions, like you know, getting a lot of plastic surgery done or taking weight loss drugs or whatever is that you do something that causes irreparable harm. And at my age, I don't have a lot of time left. Chrissy. I'm thinking five, seven years maybe I got left and I don't want to ruin it with bios having Ozempic face. Now I'm not saying that it's that that happens to everybody. It probably doesn't. And I think there are a lot of people who are using Ozempic to great benefit, but I don't think it's the panacea that everyone thinks that it is or, or that at least the impression is that, oh my gosh, I can lose 20 of my body weight just by taking this drug. And you know, it's a medical problem. Medical intervention. Maybe so, but it's brand new and there are, isn't a lot of scientific proof about One way or the other. After five years and now you're walking around looking like the, you know, scary stick figure in. In a bad horror movie. I don't know what benefit that does anybody. Now you just look scary.

[B]

I don't know. I need to take a look at these gallery.

[A]

We have friends that have been taking it for a long time. They look fantastic, but. Yeah, but they're young. They can bounce back from stuff like that. They're not like us. They're not like us.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They're not in their mid-70s, Hoping, praying that something comes along to, you know, fix all of our woes. Now if they would start mixing in like a little bit of. I say there's a cocktail out there that I would like to try that I think not only will do weight loss, but then we'll also. It's for the older people, the people at the. Thursday night Aqua Blue people. Yeah, Thursday night Aqua Blue people. We need a cocktail of like a little bit of Jagermeister, a little bit of amphetamines, like maybe some crushed up Ritalin, a little bit of methadone just to chill everybody out a little bit. And then Ozempic. And if we put those three together and we could just keep juicing our old people, we could probably get them to live like 200 years. Not that we want to, but we could probably get them to live like 200 years old. Who doesn't want that?

[B]

I know.

[A]

I mean, look, you know that. That would be a cocktail that I would take daily.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Especially if I didn't actually have to drink the Jagermeister.

[B]

God.

[A]

Which is one of the most disgusting.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I loved Jagermeister when I drank it. It was one of those things that just went down.

[B]

I never did. But that's just. Whatever you never did, I never liked it. But that's just what everybody was drinking and ordering.

[A]

I know you did. Jaeger bombs with me.

[B]

I know I did. And I hated it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But when, you know, your boss comes over with a trifle.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And says, hey, everybody.

[A]

Hey. Team building.

[B]

And.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Then you shoot it.

[A]

Hey, I know it's. I know it's 4:30 in the afternoon and we're just finishing up nine innings of drinking. But we're gonna go back and. Cold call. Cold call. Cold call.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So take a couple more Jaeger shots. It's crazy for the radio station. I was wondering if.

[B]

Jaeger face.

[A]

Let me call you.

[B]

Yeah, Jaeger face.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Jaeger face. You can't mistake Jaeger face and Ozempic face are very similar. Only one is induced by just not being able to lift your jaw up off the ground. It was like that heavy kind of drunk too. When you drink a lot of Jagermeister, you were like, you know, just slogging through an ocean of snow.

[B]

There's no reason for it.

[A]

Now. What were we? What were we? What do we drink a lot of when we were up there? What kind of shots was it? Jaeger bombs.

[B]

Yeah, The Jaeger bombs.

[A]

Yeah. The Red Bul and Yeager cough syrup and cough syrup together and Licorice. Yeah. Licorice and cough syrup combined in one tasty drink. It'll make your heart race and make you puke at the end of the night. All for the low, low price of 14.99.

[B]

I know, because one of those.

[A]

Yeah, one of those Red Bull cans was like $7.

[B]

It was. It is.

[A]

Yeah. The biggest rip off in the entire bar is a Jaeger bomb. I'm telling you that right now. And. And it doesn't work. Think about it. One's taking you up and one's bringing you down. Pick and choose, kids. Pick and choose.

[B]

So then you're just awake. Blackout drunk. That's what would happen.

[A]

I know. I remember.

[B]

Do you?

[A]

I remember.

[B]

I kind of remember.

[A]

Yeah, I kind of remember. I mean, I remember being up at night. I don't remember what happened before then, but I remember being up at night. I am telling you, there is two of the worst feelings in the world. Number one, you are strung out on some kind of stimulant and you cannot go to sleep no matter how much alcohol you drink. That is the worst feeling. And you have to work in the morning. Morning. You know it's coming. There is no time's ticking. Time's ticking. Wheel is a time is a wheel in constant motion. Do you know what I'm talking about? If you. If you got to go to work at 8am and it's 4:30am and you're out of whatever stimulant you've been sniffing for the last eight hours and you've drank all the Bud Light in the refrigerator and you know you're too drunk to get in the car and get more and you just have to deal with it and you cannot go to sleep. It is one of the worst feelings in the world. I literally remember thinking I could jump off my roof right now and land head first on the cement and probably feel better than I do right now. And then number two is a stimulant induced drunk. So when you Were drinking Red Bull or coffee or whatever it was to try and get rid of the drunk because it was the same thing. Only now you're hungover and you can't sleep. That is the worst feeling in my opinion. That's one of the worst feelings in the world.

[B]

Those are bad.

[A]

Yeah. That's why I'm glad I haven't had one of those in a long time. I can't imagine raising children. I, you know, I've had friends that did that. I had friends that like went out party, party, party, party, party, and had small kids that would come home, they would take care of the kids that wake up in the morning and I just, I never unders. I can never understand for the life that's hard ever how you can function as a grown ass adult raising these little tiny blobs of nothing and be hungover or be high or be drunk. So drunk you're. You're blackout.

[B]

That is miserable.

[A]

Is it miserable or is it magic? Remember we're talking about David Blaine and how was it magic or was it just a test of endurance and his strength and it's not really magic. He's not doing magic. He's just like, like putting himself in a block of ice for eight hours. So I think it's kind of like magic. Those people who can handle it. It's not really magic. It's just you being able to endure the pain after pain after pain that must come when you have a terrible headache, you're strung out, your heart is racing, and then your kids come in in the morning and say, I want fucking breakfast. I literally would have thrown myself through a plate class window. I would have been like.

[C]

I can't do it.

[A]

Yeah, there's no way.

[B]

Yeah, no, you got to taper that off.

[A]

I remember friends that would take their children to big long parties in the woods. Four or five days, right? And then I guess just hope everything turned out okay. Maybe worse. I remember being at these festivals and there were kids running around and then I'd see the parents at night and they'd, you know, be like howling at the moon with face paint and stealing Indian headgear. You know, tits out, dicks flying, you know, in a moon circle or whatever's going on. Mother moon circle. And I think to myself, well, I guess the kids are asleep. I guess they're fine here in the woods with thousands of other creepy people doing the howl at the moon bullshit. I guess they're perfectly fine.

[B]

You know, was there usually like a dead mother that was maybe kind of Watching over them.

[A]

I think the older teenage. The teenagers were taking care of the making. You know, they couldn't qu quite get in the frus because they were a little bit too young. You know, 15, 16, 17 years old. They were a little bit too young, but I think it would. They became like the mama hens for the night and they would take care of it. But still think about the minutiae behind that. There is no good excuse. I'm not excusing any of that behavior because I always thought it was weird. I'll always think during the day, perfectly love. You know, a lot of hippies tripping on acid, staring at a stream. Yeah, okay, whatever. Cool. You know, things can't go too wrong, I suppose. But once it turns nighttime, those kids are in a tent by themselves sleeping while you're out here at the moon. Mother moon circle. Give me a break. What's going on? My kids will never be asleep in a tent while I'm at a mother moon cycle. Never. I usually never say never, but in this one I can be sure my kids will. I just feel too responsible. I don't think my brain would be able to relax like that. And I. No, I'm not saying it's wrong for everybody. I'm sure that there's plenty of people right now that go, I'll take my kid to Bullet Blues or, you know, Bonnaroo or whatever. Well, good for you. You're a terrible parent.

[B]

The kids are cute when they've got the headphones on.

[A]

They are? Yeah.

[B]

Bob around the festivals. I saw a couple of that.

[A]

And I'm sure that there's plenty of parents who go there and they act like responsible parents while they're having fun. Right? They have a couple beers and they go to bed with their kids and whatever, but I just can't see. Mainly I think I'd just be annoyed by the whole thing. I'd be like, God, leave me alone. I just want to get drunk.

[B]

And you know, the camping ones for sure.

[A]

Yeah, I just want to get it. I just want to wear a kilt and show everybody my penis. Can you go back to bed? Daddy wants to get started at 2pm Everybody getting their snuggle up in their PJs. I know it's 106 degrees outside, but get that hot tent. Shut up. If you want water, there's a stream over there. Stay away from Andy. He's kind of creepy. Okay. Love you. I'm five. Yeah, one of it.

[B]

This is the real world.

[A]

I'm also five. Five Hits of ecstasy in. So shut up. I'm trying to relax. Daddy's trying to have a good time at this creepy festival, so leave me alone. All right? We'll be back. What?

[D]

Oh, hi, it's Christina again, here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio, video and TC media. Give us a follow on Instagram, the commercial break, and on TikTokCBpodcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-4333, TCB. Once more for the people in the back. That's 212-4333, TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at YouTube.com thecommercial break. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

[A]

When you walk into a store, and it doesn't matter which store. Maybe you can tell me which store. When you walk into a store, do you ever feel the sudden urge to poop?

[B]

I did not know where that was going.

[A]

Well, I thought I'd just surprise you there. No, I thought I'd surprise you with my shit right now.

[B]

No. Unless it's like, I've just eaten something that's upsetting my stomach.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But, no, not on like a normal.

[A]

Yeah. I usually stay away from stores for the first hour and a half of the day, let my coffee get in there and do its work at my morning press conference, and then I'm good. I'm good. Nine times out of 10, I'm not ever feeling the urge to poop anywhere except my own bathroom. Bathroom. And that includes vacation. Sometimes I'll just go days without pooping, waiting for my throne.

[B]

That's not healthy.

[A]

There's a lot of things that aren't healthy that I do. You think that cream and cereal I'm eating at night? Are you doing me any good? No. There is a phenomenon here. I'm gonna let this doctor talk about it. Let's listen to this Instagram reel. You all get the sudden urge to poop when you enter bookstores. Yo, this is a true medical phenomenon called aoki mariko. What's happening is a monotonous, predictable environment, like a bookstore causes decreased vagus nerve activity. This dampens the brakes on your gastrocolic reflex, which is the physiological need to defecate after eating. So when the reflex kicks in strongly this induces a sudden need to poop. Oh, yeah, my vagus nerve is all loosey goosey in the bookstore.

[B]

I caught something on the interwebs about that. The bookstore thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There'S this. There's a Seinfeld episode too, that involves pooping with a book at the bookstore.

[C]

Oh, really?

[B]

And he tries to return it, and they're like, it's been.

[A]

I wonder. I wonder if that's why we feel the urge. Some people feel the urge to go poop in a bookstore is because for years, and I mean many more years than we've had phones. We didn't have phones. You had to have a book or a magazine if you wanted to enjoy some time reading. You know what I'm saying? Some poopy time reading. And so maybe our brains, generation after generation after generation, our brains and our bodies have been trained that when there's a book in front of us, we just have to go poo poo. Number two, Pee, pee, poo, poo.

[B]

Maybe.

[A]

What are we talking about for a living?

[B]

I. I don't know.

[A]

What do we do for a living? Oh, what's that? Hey.

[B]

Oh, that was the megaphone.

[A]

Like, I wonder if I'm making an actual connection there. That makes sense.

[B]

Like, physiologically it makes sense to me.

[A]

I don't get the urge to poop when I go into stores. But this doctor goes on to explain that it's not just bookstores, it's all kind of stores that some people, when they get into a store, feel the need to go number two. I have a immediate family member. I'm not going to share the name because I don't want to embarrass, but every time that we went to a restaurant, every time he had to go to the bathroom, every single time, without fail. Y didn't matter where we were, what state we were in, what country we were in, what restaurant it was could be Chucky Cheese. And we were all excited to get on the slide and play with the balls and watch the creepy animatronics. And this guy would need to immediately visit the bathroom. He'd be gone for 5 to 10, to 15 to 20 minutes, and then he'd come back.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I always assumed, and, you know, it started becoming a running joke, and I always assumed. Well, he's just likes to check out the bathrooms. He's like the bathroom inspector, right? Go inspect the bathroom, make sure everything's okay. And he swears he was just smoking cigarettes. But he was like 9 or 10 when this started. And I don't think he was smoking cigarettes. I just don't think he was getting away with that. I believe maybe when he got older, that's what was going on.

[C]

On.

[A]

But this was going on for years and years and years. And so maybe he had that problem with restaurants. Sounds like maybe the second he walked in, it was just like his. What is that? That vagus nerve and the coral floral reflexes and the akioki mokioki. It just all came together. Yakiochi mokioki hit your vagus nerve into your coral floral reflexes. And then all of a sudden you.

[B]

Science.

[A]

Yeah, you got brown down there. I mean, it's just one of those things. It's science, Science.

[B]

Science.

[C]

When you mix a little paper with the good smell of a hardback, all of a sudden your vaggy nerve goes ookie bookie and wa, bam. You shit yourself. Science.

[B]

Science.

[C]

Sometimes when you get into the Red Lobster, you smell the dying fish and you go, wa, bam. I just shat myself. Science.

[B]

Did you see the Red Lobsters and the chilies, Your beloved old workspace? That's a shame, because closing down both.

[C]

Of them are also wizardry. It's hard to believe we kept going to those for years. No more chicken bun biscuits or whatever they call them, baked in cheeses.

[B]

Oh, the cheddar biscuits.

[C]

Oh, cheddar. When it's cheddar, it's better. Is that getting to your vagus nerve? You know what else hits your vagus nerve? Cheddar? Better biscuits. And it's your coral floral bam. Poopy down there. Or a diaper.

[A]

Yes, I did hear about the unfortunate. I never like to see when people lose their jobs. That's the thing that I did.

[B]

No.

[A]

And actually, there actually is one last surviving Red Lobster in the Atlanta area is not too far away from where I live. And so I guess it's going to close down. And the Chili's has dispelled the rumor. Brinker International owns Chili says dispelled the rumor that all Chili's are closing. That's not true. They have been closed, some of the stores, but I just really can't believe that some of them are still open. I mean, I haven't been to a Chili's in years.

[B]

No, it's been a long time.

[A]

I also did work there for a long time, so maybe I'm just. My body can't handle any more Bloomin onion sauce. Speak about Vegas nerve. Have an awesome blossom and see what happens to you. Blooming onion. Whatever they call it, it was the.

[B]

Place to Go for a while there, man.

[A]

That bar would be packed on Friday and Saturday nights. Pack act. It really would be packed and people were having a good time. And I guess it was something different. It was, you know, fun western style theme. Lots of stuff to look at the wall, many TVs, you know, fun young bartenders and waiters and waitresses. I guess it had some allure to like, the familial society of America was like, oh, it's. It's cheap. I could bring the whole family there. The food is, you know, it's there. There's food. It's there and it's light and bright and we get to go and have a good time when we get free chips and salsa. Which is what I really found out a lot of people did is they came for the free chips. And so you had to buy at least one thing, like a Coke or something, you know, but then you get free chips and salsa. And we weren't allowed to say no. People would sit there literally for two hours and eat free chips and salsa and have one Coca Cola. Yes, yes. Because of course, it's a meal for a dollar, right? Mm. But I. But Chili's has, I think, long since. We've long since let go of our longing for those baby back. Baby back ribs. And I saw a commercial where. And I don't know if this is a good strategy on behalf of Brinker. I'm not sure where they compared their brand new burger deal, which is like, you know, big, Big Chili's Burger or whatever, the big Outlaw burger and endless fries or who knows what they're selling over there. And they were comparing it to a Big Mac. There's a. If you're gonna pay 1099 for a big Mac, come to Chili's where the meat is better. Flame broiled, you know, extra shitty cheese with guacamole and bacon and hot sauce and blooming onion sauce and endless fries for all for 10.99. So they comparing their burger to a McDonald's. A burger.

[B]

Okay, so they're trying to go into that category.

[A]

Yeah. They're literally sending themselves even lower.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A fast casual just isn't what it used to be. And I think the pandemic probably did a lot of those places in. But yeah, you know, if you're gonna Compare yourself to McDonald's, well, then I expect that I can drive through Chili's and get myself a double bubble burger. You know what I'm saying? Like that. That's what I'd like. But the truth is, is Is that's never going to happen. It's never going to be a McDonald's. Like you got to go in there and sit down and take the food and take the order. Last time I was at a Chili's, they literally had like a, a small iPad on the table.

[B]

Oh, they do.

[A]

And it was like, order your food here. Order my food here.

[C]

What?

[A]

Where are we? Where is this? A sonic drive through. What am I doing? Why am I ordering myself? And then I got to tip the waiter or waitress. Now listen, I'll tip waiters and waitresses 40% all day long because I know how difficult it is. But when you. There's no one there to do anything except just put my drinks on the table. I don't know, it seemed a little, it seemed a little weird to me that all of a sudden now we're ordering. I know technology is going to change our lives. I know it's already changed our lives in many technology. What's that? But Chili's. Chili's was around when I was a kid. We used to take our square wheeled mule wagon down to the Chili's, get ourselves a double bubble Fod burger. You know, I realize the technology has changed our ways in so many. Change our lives in so many ways. And I don't push against it because that's a dumb thing to do. It's. Life is going to continue to evolve. But ordering of a small electronic box that looks a lot like this gear that I have right here on the, on the table, ordering my food and then having to tip someone to do that seems a little strange to me. I'm just sharing that, that. And I think the Chili's just doing. They're doing the best they can just to survive.

[B]

They're doing the best they can. And I think, you know, I think there is going to be a. The way that places are going to make themselves different is going to be because they've got personal human service.

[A]

Yeah, like us. You know, we've said we're not going to ever be an AI show, mainly because no one's going to spend the computing power to ever put us into AI. But we're never going to be an AI show. You're always going to have that human touch right here at the commercial break.

[C]

Science, humans, Oakley, Buckley.

[B]

I do love that quantum wit.

[C]

That's right. You put a little, you put a little Frankie B. With some mountain monsters and then Brian's ridiculous stories and Chrissy can't stop laughing and what do you have?

[A]

Wa Bam.

[C]

The mediocrest Podcast in the entire universe. It's wizardry. It's hard to be this mediocre.

[A]

Good.

[C]

It takes true professionalism to be this bad. We are literally the worst of the worst.

[A]

On purpose.

[C]

We've made a deal with the devil.

[B]

Oh, yes, we did.

[A]

Yeah. Hey, listen. Only 655,000 more episodes to contractually go. And we'll be here with you every step of the way. No computers here, kids. No computers here. Don't worry.

[B]

Never.

[A]

We literally don't know how to use them. So, yeah, no computers.

[B]

There's that part.

[A]

Chrissy hasn't been on Instagram since 1997.

[C]

It was called Instabam. It was a dating app where you just got laid. Instabam. You put your address in Instagram. Someone showed up to you. It was Tinder. Long before Tinder.

[A]

Oh, man. We didn't even get into the subject today, which is let's talk about Love is Blind and the big expose on the New Yorker. So maybe we'll have to get that. At tomorrow's episode, we will address the Love is Blind expose on the New Yorker. Prerequisite homework is for you to go read that article. Read that article. I'll help. I never thought.

[B]

I'll help you.

[A]

Yeah. I never thought penicillin was going to make me feel this way. But the reason why I'm a little dopey today is because I took penicillin and it made me really sick, really quick. So strange. So I'm just trying to keep my head from spinning in circles. Isn't that strange?

[B]

Have you been to the bathroom?

[A]

No, my Vegas nerve has not released yet, but there's nothing in there to release because I already did my morning press conference.

[B]

Okay, that's good.

[A]

All right. 212-12-4333. TCB. That's 1-212-4333. TCB. Questions? Comments, concerns? Content? Ideas? You want to be on the show as a special guest? We'd love to have you. Or at least I'd like to talk to you about it. Send us a text message or leave us a voicemail. You can always dial up 212-4333, TCB. Also, we'd like to know if you'd like to go to shows live shows. Live TCB show shows in Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, Tennessee, Chicago, New York. I'm just. Anything east of the Mississippi, let us know. Anything east of the Mississippi, let us know. The west is too far. We're not gonna go. We'd also like you to go to the website tcbpodcast.com that's where you go. You can find more information about Chrissy and I. All the show notes, links to our guests, all of it right there. One location, location. You can also get your free TCB sticker. Go to the contact us button, drop down menu. I want my sticker. Give us your address away. We will go at the commercial break on Instagram. We sure would appreciate it if you would Follow us and YouTube.com commercial break. Go watch Rachel Feinstein's brand new special out on Netflix. Thank you for being a guest this week, Rachel. Okay, I guess that's all I can do for today.

[B]

I think so.

[A]

But I'll tell you that I love you.

[B]

I love you.

[A]

Best to you.

[B]

Best to you.

[A]

Best to you. Out there in the podcast universe. Take your penicillin with food until next time. We always say, we do say and we must say goodbye.

[B]

Ra.