JamLand Productions

Summary

The Commercial Break — "JamLand Productions"

Episode Date: January 10, 2025
Hosts: Brian Green and Kristen Joy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

Today's episode is a prime example of "The Commercial Break's" improv-comedy chaos, blending weather panic in Atlanta, personal misadventures, '90s and 2000s storm nostalgia, rants on billionaires and tech, plus a hysterical deep-dive into Brian's short-lived attempt as an EDM promoter with "JamLand Productions." Expect rollicking life stories, cultural commentary, offbeat banter, and signature TCB self-deprecation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Atlanta’s Perpetual Snow Panic (00:00–05:48)

• Opening Banter: The hosts riff on Atlanta’s panicked response to mild winter weather, joking about school closures and bread/milk "survival" shopping.

  • Quote: "Babies are not made for 32 degree weather." — Host (00:11)
  • Brian's skepticism about meteorologists' predictions and public overreactions.
  • Quote: "People just go fucking bananas around here... I just don't believe the bullshit anymore." — Brian (02:08)

• Local Culture: It's considered a community sport to see who cancels school fastest; social chaos ensues at the mere whisper of snow.

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2. Unforgettable Atlanta Winter Storms & Brian’s Personal Disasters (05:48–16:59)

• Storm Stories: Brian recalls four unique snow/ice events in Atlanta; each entwined with comically disastrous personal anecdotes.

  • Mid-90s: Stranded at Georgia Southern, involved in a regrettable teenage romance ("I just remember the smell of that situation." — Brian, 06:19)
  • 2002/2003 Ice Storm: Stranded, resorted to heating home with an oven; involved in sketchy “cuckolding” adventures, cocaine, and treacherous walks home.
    • Quote: "We had to turn the oven on and open it to get heat in the house—that's safe. And I was doing blow." — Brian (06:31)
    • Surreal scenes: exploded transformers, walking hours in the icy dark.
  • 2014 Snowpocalypse: Second date with a woman, stuck together through the entire disaster; mass gridlock, people abandoning cars, National Guard handing out supplies.
    • Quote: "There was a trucker, his ass full of glory, letting the hot shit out right there on the side of the...I never seen anything like it." — Brian (14:09)

• Meta Commentary: Atlanta's hilly, illogical street design exacerbates chaos; the hosts poke at local government, infrastructure, and their own romantic patterns.

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3. Relationship Recaps & TCB Self-Deprecation (16:41–19:47)

• On-and-Off Drama: Brian and Krissy reminisce over his notorious inability to end toxic relationships.
  • Quote: "I would literally stand on the tracks, and the train will go forward and back up a couple times before I realize I shouldn't be standing on the fucking tracks." — Brian (17:57)
• Self-aware jokes about podcast longevity and learning through recurring mistakes.
  • Quote: "Look at this podcast. We should have given this up three years ago." — Brian (18:33)

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4. Social Media Rants & Billionaire Culture (20:17–32:55)

• Facebook Fatigue: Brian declares he’s “officially done with Facebook,” laments its evolution into a "cesspool," but admits Instagram addiction (also owned by Zuckerberg).

  • Quote: "Facebook has just turned into a cesspool. Of disgustingness." — Brian (31:12)

• Billionaire & Tech Power: Extended riff on wealth concentration, Trump, and the uneasy relationship between government, media, and tech magnates.

  • Mark Cuban gets kudos as "semi sane"; Mark Zuckerberg is accused of almost non-human behavior.
  • Quote: "He is so terrible. Is he human? I'm not even sure that's not a robot with skin on it." — Brian (30:45)

• Amazon Workers & Service Industry: Fierce defense of the need to treat workers better, with funny interludes about Amazon Prime deliveries.

  • Quote: "Those people that do bring me the random microphone wire in three hours—if you don't believe they should be treated correctly, then you are a shithead." — Brian (27:30)

• TikTok & Data Privacy: Humorously skeptical take on U.S. efforts to ban TikTok; worries over who owns personal data.

  • Quote: "If China wants our info, can't they just buy it anyway?" — Brian (34:08)

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5. The Rise, Fall, and Farce of "JamLand Productions" (49:05–55:34)

• Brian’s EDM Promoter Phase: Hilarity peaks with the tale of "JamLand Productions," Brian's doomed venture into concert promotion.
  • The team attempts to organize EDM/fashion nights; barely anyone shows.
  • Infamous DJ tryouts include "DJ Shit for Brains" and a fried, sandal-wearing hippie who mixes Grateful Dead cassettes over beats to an empty club.
    • Quote: "He literally brought a tape player, plugged it in and started playing live Grateful Dead and tried to spin a record on top of it." — Brian (52:36)
    • The club closes early: "The club closed at 2am, this guy maybe started at 10:30, and the club had to mysteriously close at midnight." — Brian (55:34)
  • All that remained: stories, a bar tab, one accidental peep-show from a changing model, and "20% of the door"—which was $0.

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6. EDM, Live Music, and the Vegas Sphere (41:22–48:22)

• EDM’s Explosion: EDM has surged as a global live-music juggernaut, but ironically old-school clubs are vanishing and morning “sober raves” are in vogue.
• The Sphere in Las Vegas: Big praise and laughter about the bewildering success of the Sphere for concerts and raves.
  • Discussion of epic technical achievements (e.g., 100,000 speakers for uniform audio).
  • Quote: "That sphere is a technological achievement of epic proportions...no matter where you sit, you're either going to get bad vertigo or see the visuals of a lifetime." — Brian (43:42)

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7. Wrap-Up & Miscellaneous Banter (56:34–End)

• Acknowledgement of repeated failed ventures and proud "dippity dabbling" in wild career moves.
  • Krissy: "You gotta try this, try that." — (56:49)
  • Brian: "I've been a real asshole in my life, that's what I'm coming to realize." — (56:37)
• Shoutouts to LA listeners during wildfires, typo errors on their own website, and gentle self-mockery.
• Reminders for listeners to keep in touch via socials, text line, and website (skip Naked Attraction episode for NSFW reasons).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Atlanta’s storm freakouts:
  "It's like a sport to see who can cancel school first. How many days can we not go to work, and how many people can freak out over nothing?" — Brian (04:14)
• On economic divide:
  "If you, the regular listener at home, doesn't believe that those people should be treated correctly, then you are a shithead. Period." — Brian (27:30)
• On failed business ventures:
  "I will tell you this, at least I've tried. Okay?" — Brian (56:00)
• On EDM club disaster:
  "He got up one night...there was no one in the club...he brought a tape player and tried to mix Grateful Dead with beats—game over." — Brian (52:36)
• On the Sphere:
  "I was 100% wrong about the Sphere. It's not a gimmick, it's a technological feat. I can't wait to experience it." — Brian (42:57)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Atlanta weather panic & shopping mania: 00:00–05:48
• Brian’s Atlanta storm stories & disasters: 06:12–16:59
• Relationship/self-deprecation banter: 16:41–19:47
• Social media & billionaire rants: 20:17–32:55
• Sphere, EDM, and live music talk: 41:22–48:22
• Full “JamLand Productions” story: 49:05–55:34

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Closing Tone

With a perfect mix of self-aware silliness, inside jokes, and the surreal tapestry of “trying every damn thing in life (and failing entertainingly),” Brian and Krissy deliver an irreverent, rambling episode equal parts nostalgia, catharsis, and comic gold.

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For Listeners:

Whether you lived through Atlanta’s “snowpocalypse” or just want to hear how NOT to run an EDM club, this episode captures The Commercial Break’s hilarious heart, biting takes, and the magic of friendships forged in chaos.

Transcript

[Host]

Hey, have they called school yet? Well, I mean, it's starting to accumulate. Yes, it's accumulating right up here.

[Brian Green]

I can see it. I can see it right now.

[Host]

Well, it just hit 32. It hurt 32 degrees. And it's gonna get down to 28 tonight and it's gonna be 28 in the morning. They can't go to school at 32 degrees. Babies are not made for 32 degree weather.

[Brian Green]

Absolutely not.

[Host]

Absolutely not.

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the Commerc A minute there, I saw the edm.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You likened yourself.

[Brian Green]

I likened myself. Promoter. It was fun while it lasted. And guess what the name of the company was that I created.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

God, I can only imagine.

[Brian Green]

Jam Land Productions.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Jam Land.

[Brian Green]

Jam Land Productions goes right along with that EDM EDF flavor.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Presented by Jam Land.

[Brian Green]

Presented by Jam Land Productions, DJ for brains.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And the cone of insecurity.

[Brian Green]

Cone of insecurity. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Glenn Burns to my Ken Cook. Kristen Joy Hoadley bestie you Kristen Bestie. Brian. You like that? You see where I went with that?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

All right, welcome to weather advisory weather.

[Brian Green]

Little weather related opening which are weather warning wintry mix. Yes, Channel 11 alive only does storm alert days in serious situations. This is to be taken seriously. I just read it's a Friday here on the commercial break and we're not actually here on a Friday. We're probably embedded in some. In one and a half inches of snow that has crippled the city.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We were stocked up on bread and milk.

[Brian Green]

Yes, bread and milk. Because first of all, who drink bread and milk? What bread and milk? Mac and cheese are, you know, canned soup or something.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Mac and cheese and wine.

[Brian Green]

Bread, milk and water. Those are the things that go. The alcohol. That's what goes. Gasoline, firewood. I mean, it's like people just go fucking bananas around here. And the pandemonium has already started and it's only the middle of the week. I'm referring to this winter storm that's supposedly going to affect some parts of the southeast, like the city of Atlanta, where we live and where we record. I got to be honest with you, I just don't believe the bullshit anymore. I've been living in this city for way too long. I've even noticed that. I think the meteor meteorologists don't believe the bullshit anymore. I don't even think they think they know what's actually going to happen because they're wrong. Every fucking Time. They're wrong about where the hurricane goes. They're wrong about what the weather's going to be in an hour, let alone five days from now. And every time they put together one of these special storm alerts which we have going on right now, everybody runs to the fucking store. There are lines. It's pandemonium. Everyone's driving like an asshole, trying to get home. I don't know. To apparently make French toast with their bread, milk, and eggs. I don't know what's. But then what's going to happen? It's going to rain. That's what's going to happen. It's going to rain, and we're all going to get seven days. Yes. We just got off 30 days of no school, and we're going to have three more school days where I got to go fucking crazy because my kids are running around the house with nothing to do. Fuck you. Fuck you, Chesley Nestle, or whatever your name is. Chesley. I like Chesley.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I like Chesley, too. He has the Wizard.

[Brian Green]

I used to have the Wiz o meter, but I married Astrid, and she said, no wiz o meter for me. No wiz o meter for me. We're gonna take the Wiz out of the ometer. Why does my mind always go there? Of course, we usually spend all day yesterday looking at penises. So there you go. That's a hard one to explain to ask her.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

I go in the kitchen yesterday and I go, hey, babe, I got a little concern about our new video team. And she's like, what? And I go, well, listen, we just spent the entire episode looking at dicks, and I'm not sure that I should. And she goes, wait, did you say you spent the entire episode looking at dicks? And I was. I did spend the entire episode looking. Why are you looking at dicks? And I go, well, listen, it was for a show that we did about naked attraction. And she's like, I just don't understand some of the content you were in here.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Hey, after 640.

[Brian Green]

75 episodes. Yeah. 800 hours of the commercial print.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I already called. Do not send that video to the editors.

[Brian Green]

Well, I didn't. I didn't. What I did was I sent the. The audio I sent just us in our reaction to the video. I didn't actually send the actual video because YouTube's not going to show it anyway, so what's the fucking point? I'm certainly not going to put a clip of that on Spotify. Can you imagine all our new Venezuelan listeners, and all they see is a big uncircumcised penis. Anyway, here in Atlanta, when it's. When there's snow, when there's threat of snow, when there's threat of winter weather, it is just like. It's like a sport here in Atlanta. It's like a sport to see who can cancel school first. How many days can we not go to work? And how many people can freak out over nothing, quite frankly. Now, to be fair in the occasion, when. And there's been many of these. Yes, when the weather people tell us it's not going to snow, everything's going to be okay.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, don't worry about it. Boom.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, boom. Six inches of ice, no power for two.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

People are peeing in their cars.

[Brian Green]

Truckers are shitting on the highway on.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The side of the road for 12 hours.

[Brian Green]

The National Guard is picking people up out of their hot vehicles. They always get it wrong. Always. So when they say there's gonna be 3 to 6 inches of snow where we are right now, I just don't believe it. I don't have any reason to believe it because it never comes true.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I mean, maybe the supercomputer can help with this moving forward.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I know. Maybe AI can help, but doesn't seem to be. They don't seem to be getting any better at this. And here's the thing. Everybody will remember a couple of events here in Atlanta having to do with wintry mix. The super. The year of the super bowl, whatever that was. 2002. No, well, 2003.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Are you talking about the first storm, the ice storm.

[Host]

I was a child, so.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, let's go with that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I was living in Tennessee during that.

[Brian Green]

You were? Okay. All right, so actually, four separate events. The first one. And all of them, I got stuck in strange circumstances. Let me explain. First one, whether people don't call it. And there literally was like 18 inches of snow. This is back in the 90s. I was stuck like 95. Yeah, 95. Yeah, 94. 95. I was on. I went to my. I went to my friend's older sister's house at Georgia Southern University. I've told that story before where I made out with some girl and then she freaked out because I was underage and she had some guy call and threatened me like he was his boyfriend. Anyway, all right, I'm not gonna repeat the story. It was kind of gross and people didn't like it. All right, so Christina remembers it, so she's thanking God. I'm not repeating the story. The smell that's all I got. I can just remember the smell of that situation. But I got stuck in Georgia Southern at Georgia Southern University for days. My dad had to pay for a hotel room because we couldn't literally couldn't drive back to Atlanta. Then There is the 2002, 2003 ice storm, when overnight we accumulated 5 to 6 inches of not snow, not rain, ice. And it literally turned to ice as soon as it hit the ground, hit the wires, hit the cars, and everybody was socke in for days. This crippled the city in a way that I will never forget because I went without power and heat for four or five days. We had to open the oven. We had to turn the oven on and open it to get heat in the house that's safe. And I was doing blow. Oh, what story of Brian's doesn't include the word blow. If it's previous to 2007, Dee was.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Able to get out.

[Brian Green]

Dee was able to get. We were able to. We managed to connect before the ice storm. So thank God I had my supplies. Most people go for bread and milk. Brian's going for blow and Bud Light. I was over at. Remember I told the story how one of my friends wanted me to kind of cuck his wife. He was gay and he wanted me to kind of cuck his wife. So with her I worked with him at La Strada and then he can. And then he left to go work at the gay bar overnight. And he asked me to take. Take care of his wife while he was out at the gay bar doing his thing. And. And I took care of her. And what we really ended up doing a lot of times is just sitting around doing drugs. And so like many other nights before we decided that we were going to do drugs. And when we did this, we start to realize that shit outside was getting a little bit hairy. We. And the gay bar closed early because it was getting hairy. And so we had to drive down to pick all kind of fucking twisted. We drove down to pick him up on the highway, sliding from one lane to the other. The scariest ride I've ever taken. Maybe because of the cocaine, maybe because it was actually scary. Not really sure. But we slid back and forth all the way to pick him up. By the time we got back north of Atlanta, things were just bad. Yeah, Transformers were exploding, tree line. Trees were falling. And I lived about four miles down Roswell Road and I couldn't. We couldn't. There was. A decision was made. There was no more driving going to be done. I walked that four miles Back to where I was living. And I'll never forget this.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Four miles is a long way in the ice.

[Brian Green]

It took me hours to walk home. Hours to walk home. I just remember slipping and sliding everywhere. I don't know why I had to go home. Yeah, I was on coke, and I was getting uncomfortable, and I was worried I was gonna get stuck. And there was a cat in the apartment, and I. You know, if I was doing blow, I was not having an allergic reaction. But after the effects of my decong congested wore off, I was gonna have a panic attack. And, you know, I'm really allergic to cats. And so I just think I just got in my own head and I'm like, I gotta go. I gotta get back home. I don't want to be stuck here for days. And at that time, now we had the news on, and the news was saying, holy shit. What we said wasn't gonna happen. Happened.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Whoops.

[Brian Green]

The whole city socked in, and no one has power. So when I'm walking home, I remember walking toward a gas station on Roswell Road, and there was a light post had a transformer on it, one of those round things that sits up, whatever the fuck that does. That thing exploded when I was about a football field away from it. And I could feel it in my testicles. It was the loudest, deepest explosion I had ever heard. It hurt my ears. And the light was like a thousand suns. It was crazy. Just exploded, sparks flying everywhere. And so I started to hustle up just a little bit quicker toward home. Trees, branches falling, cracking. It was the apocalypse and Brian's walking home. I had a perfectly warm place to sleep, by the way. The apartment that I left had power the entire time. The apartment that I went back to had no power. When I got home, for four days, I had no power. Then, of course, the great shit 75 shitstorm of 2013, I think it was.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think it was 13. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

When I was on the second date, my second date, with a girl who I.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Anyway.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

She came over to my house to watch a movie. And I'll never forget, we watched Inception, is the movie that we watched. And I smoked cigarettes at the time. So did she. And so as the movie ended, we decided to go outside and smoke a cigarette. When we started Inception, it was raining when I. We went out almost three hours later to go smoke a cigarette.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It was crazy. It happened so fast.

[Brian Green]

Six inches of snow.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I had just dropped Jeff off at the airport because he was going up to New York.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really?

[Host]

For.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Cause I Think that was around the super bowl, too. There was something going on. I think maybe the new.

[Host]

Maybe I thought this was, like, fall. If it was 2013, it was like, okay, then it was 2014, because that was my freshman year of college.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Okay, so 2014.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. So I had just dropped duff off, and then I got back home, and it just started dumping.

[Brian Green]

Dumping. It happened so quick.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And that's what caused. That's what everybody got caught.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Everybody's trying to get to their kids to get them out of school.

[Brian Green]

That's right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Things went nuts. The traffic was insane. Everybody was stuck.

[Brian Green]

It went crazy quickly. And I lived in an apartment. And if you walked outside of my apartment, I was on, like. You know, it was one of these that kind of sits on the side of a hill, and that Hill pointed toward i75, which is the major artery that goes right through the city. So I live downtown. Right off I. And I say right off 75. Right off 75. I could see it when I walked into my apartment.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And as we woke up the night. So of course, she couldn't go anywhere. She was scared to drive. I agreed with her. There were a lot of. With this. The problem with the city of Atlanta is it's very hilly, and none of our streets are congruent. There is no going around the block in Atlanta. If you head onto a street, you're kind of stuck there for the next 10 miles. You know what I'm saying? You can't go around the block.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You have to have a grid system.

[Brian Green]

Someone was on acid when they developed the city of Atlanta because it's crazy. So the next morning when we woke up and we are watching this, and this is night number one on the second date I have with this young lady. We're into, like, the 24th hour of this date. When I woke up the next morning, I turn on the TV and I see that the helicopters are flying above the highway where I live. Like, I could go outside. I could hear the helicopters above me. The TV cameras are literally down on the street. And because there are thousands of vehicles that are stuck in there. Stuck right there where I live. Like on 75, stuck right there. People are stuck.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It was a mess.

[Brian Green]

The National Guard is called in to try and bring them water and food. I walked outside to go see what was going on. And as I look over the balcony, there was a trucker in the woods. Down the hill where I live, there was a trucker, his ass full of glory, letting the hot shit out right there on the side of the. I never seen anything like it. Life. I was like, oh, my God. I thought transformer explosion was apocalypse. This felt much more like apocalypse to me. So we. So in the good spirit of being an Atlantan, we made a pot of coffee, a big couple pots of coffee. And we went out there and started bringing coffee.

[Host]

So you went to make people more.

[Brian Green]

We allowed people to relieve themselves. Yeah, I mean, listen, okay, you got a Shit. You got a. What are you gonna do? The trucker was. I mean, he just had to go.

[Host]

He's gonna speed that up.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. So we brought coffee, we brought water. We made a couple of trips out that was also a slippery. We were, like, kind of sliding down the ramp.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

But that's what we did. Anyway, day number five, still lots. Still a little sloggy out there on the roads. But now I could see that cars were out there driving on the side streets. Not on the highway yet, but on. Cause eventually the National Guard got everybody out of their car, took them to wherever it is they were going at, like, a cab service. And the cars just sat there on the highway.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, they did.

[Brian Green]

And the governor, like, seven days into this, had to say on tv, if you don't move your car today, we are going to tow you. You need to move your car. We're going to have to move them out of the way. And the National Guard eventually went and started pushing cars out of the way. It was crazy. I. Day number five, even though it was still very slick and sloggy out there, I made the decision to get in my own car with this young lady. I couldn't take it anymore. I was done. I was like, I gotta get you home. I'm sorry. I gotta get you home. And she's like, I just don't feel comfortable driving. I can hear the car sliding out there. And I was like, you may not feel comfortable driving, but I do.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So let me give you a Honda Accord with no hood.

[Brian Green]

That's right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's perfectly safe.

[Brian Green]

What else could possibly go wrong with my car? If we crash, we crash. And I'm telling you what, we slid all the way over the. All over those side streets to get her home. And I slid all the way back. And I took a deep, solid breath when I got home, and I was like, thank God I can just ride this out by myself now. It was so. It turned into, like, the worst. It just was, you know, you're just.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Back for more later.

[Brian Green]

Oh, three years later. Three years later, we broke up for good. Yes. Three years later. This I should have known right then. I did know right then and right there. But, you know, sometimes we're gluttons for punishment. The hot wants what the hot wants.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

They used to tell me that it.

[Brian Green]

Is what it is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'd be like, brian, really?

[Brian Green]

I'm holding space. You're broken up again.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Wait, now you're back together again. Oh, the heart wants what the heart wants Chrissy.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Not only did I used to say that to Chrissy, I would say that in the course of 24 hours. Yes. I would be like, we broke up. Call later on in the day. We're back. It's not back home.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, no. Then you'd be like, hey, you wanna come meet so and so out with. With me? We're gonna go to the bar and come meet us out. I'd be like, I thought y' all broke up.

[Brian Green]

Nah, Wait, you just broke up this morning. And I'd be like, yeah, no, it's fine. We're all good. Yeah, we patch things up.

[Host]

Thank God for Astrid.

[Brian Green]

Thank God. Astrid's the best thing that ever happened.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Tina, you have no. Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

But I honestly think I had to get through schnitzel tits to get to Astrid to understand what a good partner is for me and then how to be a good partner to someone else. You just have to go through that stuff. Sometimes you do. That's true. I firmly believe that we learn by doing, or at least I learned by. There's lots of people on earth who. And I'm really good at giving relationship advice. I consider myself really good at giving relationship advice, but I can't take it to save my life. I just can't take my own advice. I can see a train wreck coming a mile away if it's somebody else that's getting in the train wreck. But I will literally stand on the tracks, and the train will go forward and back up a couple times before I realize I shouldn't be standing on the fucking tracks. Listen, I'm just one of those guys. I have to learn by doing and then fail multiple times. And look at this podcast. Look at this podcast. We should have given this up three years ago. We should have sucked it in.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

A little bit of this, a little bit of that.

[Brian Green]

Brian's back with her. Brian's back with Snizzlets. Locked you out of your apartment. Called your mom a bitch to her face. Screamed and yelled at you in front of everybody. Broke the window. Broke your window. Slashed your tires. Wa. Bam. The hard ones were the hard wallets anyway. We're probably snowed in. I'm probably calling bullshit. I'm trying to call the bullshit, but this looks like it, actually. So pray for us here in Atlanta. I love. That's my favorite thing in the world is when social media starts making those posts about Atlanta after snow. Pray for Atlanta with, like, a dusting of snow.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

Sorry, folks, Atlanta's closed. John Candy from the vacation. Oh, my God.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's a great.

[Brian Green]

All right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Gotta love that movie.

[Brian Green]

Get your memes ready. Instead, tag us on Instagram. We'd love to see it. We'll keep you posted. I promise I'll make a real it. If any kind of wintry weather happens, I'll post a reel and I'll tag the commercial break in it. All right, let's take a break. We'll be back.

[Host]

I have a wild idea. Go to our Instagram and follow us hecommercial break. And then go to our TikTok and follow us there, TCB podcast. And then go to our YouTube. YouTube.com thecommercialbreak and follow us there. And then text us at 212-4333, TCB and tell us that you followed us on all of those other places. And then go to our website, TCPodcast.com and browse, I guess. Well, those are all the ideas I have for today, so see you tomorrow.

[Brian Green]

Bye. I'm officially done with Facebook. I just want to share that with everybody. I've gotten back on it. You've gotten back on it? I have.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I've been checking in recently.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really? For what reason?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

Are you on. Are you defining dates on there?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, I wanted to check out the Marketplace thing. And, you know, it sucks you back in.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they know how to do it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's the Facebook sock.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Mark Zuckerberg knows how to get people to pay attention. I mean, good, bad, or indifferent, Mark has changed our lives. And so actually, man, mainly bad and indifferent, Mark Zuckerberg has changed our lives. But it's just seems like, I mean, and I know this happens with every single administration, and I'm not claiming that Trump is the only one this is happening with, but it sure does seem like the robber barons are kneeling at the. At the. At the. I don't know, the throne of Trump. And it's really strange to me to see them so publicly sucking a dick. I mean, honestly, I mean, I'm not surprised. No, there's no surprises here. There's. The only guy that I that's gonna.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Try and fight him is Gonna be, you know, then that's gonna be an enemy number one.

[Brian Green]

Of course. Yeah. That's the thing is that he makes such a big stink about every single thing and he causes a lot of drama for. With like, normally, I think most presidents, you know, with the exception of some in our history, would just kind of like, you know, okay, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna publicly lambast you. That's for the. Whoever. Whatever the regulate. Yeah, that's private. That's right. That's for the. I do that privately. Privately. I step on your business, I don't publicly do it. But they're so scared of getting a public tongue lashing and having, you know, whatever. I'm not sure whatever happened, they're so scared of it that they just kneel and they bow and it's. It's really quite disturbing to me. I liked when all this stuff happened in private that I didn't know about it and I didn't have to. I didn't have to be upset.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

At least Greenland is standing up.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I mean, Trump's threatening to invade Greenland and Panama. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Now listen, we probably could invade Panama doesn't even have a standing army. That could be a really easy take. All right, I get that one. But Greenland, you're gonna go for Greenland. Let Greenland be. For God's sakes. Do we really need green? I mean, he says it's like a military strategic. Maybe it is, but we already have relationship with Greenland. Why do we want to own another country? Can't we get this one right before we're looking at others? Canada, the 51st state.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

How about making Puerto Rico the 51st and give them the attention that they need before we go paying attention to Canada. But of course, we know why that's not going to happen. Anywho, the one guy that I still like out of all this one billionaire that I'm still, you know, thinking is semi sane is Mark Cuban.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

100%.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Mark Cuban is at least. I mean, listen, I don't love everything about Mark Cuban, but I think generally he's speaks truth to power and he seems to not be afraid.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And, you know, he agrees with some stuff but disagrees with other things. The major things that make the most sense.

[Brian Green]

Here's what's gonna be shocking to some listeners who are no longer listening because they don't like the fact their fannies are hurt that I talked about Trump in a negative way. But if your fanny is hurt that I talked about Trump in A negative way. Let me share something with you that might be surprising. I don't disagree with everything Trump has to say. Don't disagree with it. Don't disagree with some of the stuff. Stuff that him and some of the people that are around him say, I actually agree with. I think that we do need big change in this country. I don't think the country works for a lot of folks, but I don't think we're gonna get there by kowtowing to billionaires. I just don't think we're gonna do that. That's my personal opinion. There should be a nice adversarial relationship going on with people who control most of the wealth in this country. And we should be checking them to make sure that they don't. That they don't like their cup. Don't spill us over, crushing everybody in the process. And that should be part of the government's responsibility, should be to checks and balances, to make sure. I'm not saying take away their wealth. I don't believe in that. I don't believe in wealth distribution. But I'm saying that we shouldn't just be cuddling up to them and letting them do whatever the fuck they want to do. Nor should it be the opposite way around. I don't believe that because I don't think that's good for us, the small people, the people who don't make any money podcasting. I want to be a billionaire too, but I'm never going to get there because, you know, I don't know. It's because there's certain people, you know, they just seem to be absorbing a ton of wealth without any checks and balances and not doing great by the people who allow them to get that rich. Amazon is a perfect example of this. They don't treat their employees very well. And at every turn that the employees are trying to help themselves get out of that city situation or make it a little bit better, or they get crushed and we're not helping them. And the new administration doesn't seem to be willing to help them. They wanna fight against it. Why? Why? Why shouldn't we help the workers at Amazon? They bring me a random microphone wire in three hours.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know, I know. I always don't choose that option when they're like, we can have it to you by 7:00am Oh, I always do.

[Brian Green]

I'm the asshole who always does that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Like those four people that are delivering it in the cold and dark in the middle of the overnight.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but those people, those people who do Bring me the random microphone wire in three hours. Let me give you a story for all the kids out there. When I first started playing guitar and I got an amplifier and my. God damn it, Brian, shut that shit up. When I got the first ever amplifier ever made in 1909, the Fender number one. When I got that, I needed a wire in order to plug that thing in. You know what I had to do? I had to go to my dad, ask him for a ride to the guitar store that was 26 miles away to then go and pay for that wire and bring it back to the house. That entire process took about six weeks because my dad knew once I plugged the guitar in, it was all over for the rest of the house. And, man, was it if I didn't every three minutes. Here. Brian, turn it down. What the fuck? Shut up.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm gonna be a star.

[Brian Green]

Dad. Dad, I'm Eddie Van. Sonny's not up. Why? Why? Can it be? Can it be my hand? You know what can be yours, Brian? The garage. Go there. So now the amazing development that Amazon can get you anything at any time and bring it to you within hours is a blessing among blessings. It is like a gift from the heavens. It makes your life so incredibly easier. And if you, the regular listener at home doesn't believe that those people should be treated correctly, then you are a shithead. Period. End of sentence. There's nothing else to say. Same with the grocery deliveries and the FedEx guy and the people who work behind the coffee counter and whoever. Christina.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

All these people, our service workers patiently waiting.

[Brian Green]

The people who work for us and do the things that make our lives easier, more convenient, better, healthier, whatever you want to say. Those are the people that we should take care of. Jeff Bezos, we don't need to worry about. The guy has a yacht that has a yacht inside the yacht. Who fucking cares? No one. No one's gonna ever bother Jeff Bezos. He's never. Do you think Jeff Bezos orders Amazon? Here's a question I have. Do you think Jeff Bezos uses Amazon Prime? I bet he does too.

[Host]

Do you think he gets everything for free?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, of course.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I mean, technically.

[Host]

That's annoying.

[Brian Green]

Maybe not Maybe he's got, like, a. He's probably got an account where, like, he racks shit up. Yeah. You think Jeff orders. Jeff orders, like, you know, oat milk at 3 in the morning to be delivered by 7.

[Host]

Probably an assistant who does that.

[Brian Green]

Yo. Yeah, he's got an assistant. Whose assistant's assistant does that? Because that person probably Never talks, speaks to Jeff Bezos. Jeff just sends a text message to his most trusted advisor who then send. Who sends a million people out to do everything. And that's okay. I'm not arguing with that. I'd love to be in that position. As long as I didn't hurt anybody else to get there, I'd love to be in that position. But there's. The point also, is that I think we need to just consider how everybody. I think everybody. I think certain people have this mentality. I don't fault them for that. I think certain people have this mentality that that's what I want. I want to be Jeff Bezos. I want to be the millionaire. I want to drive the Lamborghini. I want to have a boat. I want to live. Lamborghini. Lamborghini. It's a puccini mushroom mixed with the Labrador retriever Labradoodle. Yeah, it's a Labradoodle. I think they have this impression that that's what I want. And okay, that's great. That's the American dream. Everybody wants that. But you're going to need the help and the cooperation of people who may never realize that dream in order to get there. And if we cannot step on heads on the way up the ladder, lest we meet them on the way back down, I just think that it might be a better place to live, a better society in general. And so I argue sometimes that cuddling up to all of the robber barons that are out there right now and making their lives easier at the expense of everybody else who's helping them get there is really a shitty attitude to have. And it doesn't work.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And so it's been going on since the invention of our country, though. I mean, think about all of the. Of course, the train, the steel, all of that that actually built the country. Same thing. I mean, talk about those working conditions. There was child labor.

[Brian Green]

Child labor. The Chinese people built our railroads and everybody else got rich. I argue. Chrissy, here's the surprise for you because Brian's going to know a history fact. Even the Egyptians treated their people shitty. Now we're not living in Egypt, though. We're living in the United States of America in 2024. This would be a little bit different. 2025. Thank you. Me and my kid both still trying to get used to that new number.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You're fighting it.

[Brian Green]

I'm arguing it. I'm fighting it all the way. But I'm sorry. The guy. Of all the billionaires, the billionaire. That really makes me just like Hot under the collar. Is that Mark? He is so terrible. He's just like. Is he human? I'm not even sure that that's not a robot with skin on it. Do you know what I'm saying? He doesn't move his head or blink his eyes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I can see.

[Brian Green]

What's wrong with that? How do you. How do you do that?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Practice.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I know. Facebook has just turned into a cesspool. Of disgustingness. I mean, maybe the marketplace is fine and apparently everybody's dating on there now, so maybe I'm just an old man who can't get hep with the kids. I don't know. I don't know. But you know, fuck you. I don't want to be on Facebook anymore.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You don't have to be.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'm getting with the new fangled Instagram. Those people are better over there. Oh, wait, it's owned by Mark Zuckerberg.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Shit. Tick tock.

[Host]

That's why we're getting on next door.

[Brian Green]

Next Door is Next Door probably some Chinese company. I don't know. I have no idea.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You don't hear about that one.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, no, I think Next Door is a private company. It's probably owned by Uber Eats or something. I don't know. Who knows?

[Host]

Or says a bunch of investors. Institutional investors next door.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Host]

And just a bunch of people.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I was gonna think maybe it was the landscaping.

[Host]

The CEO is Nirav Tolia just keeps.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Advertising.

[Brian Green]

My landscaping company owns next door. Instead of buying Greenland, let's buy next door. How's that? Kevin O' Leary is thinking about buying TikTok. He's trying to buy TikTok.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I have. I had no idea, but. Okay.

[Brian Green]

Which is beyond beyond to me. Like, I have a hard time believing that the guy who's, I don't know, the. You know, the kind of the persnickety jerk off from Shark Tank, which I don't have any problems with. Kevin o', Leary, quite frankly. I think he's pretty smart. But, you know, that guy is going to own TikTok. Is this going to be another Justin Timberlake MySpace moment where TikTok just goes into oblivion because of who owns it? Do you remember when Justin bought MySpace?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, but when he bought that, though, it was definitely. Oh, yeah, MySpace was pretty much.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

TikTok's alive and well.

[Brian Green]

The TikTok's alive and well. And there are a lot of creators who rightfully are very nervous and very scared that their way of living is going to be gone because TikTok has paid a lot of creators, a lot of money, and a lot of people applaud them for that, as do I. If you're helping the platform be successful, you should participate in some way, shape or form. But a lot of creators are very nervous that this TikTok ban will go into effect. I think it's now going to be sitting in front of the Supreme Court. It's up to Donald Trump whether or not, I guess, he signs the bill into law.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't think he's going to sign it.

[Brian Green]

No, I don't think he is either.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Baron. You know, next to him saying, dad, you cannot do this.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And you know what? For that, I applaud you. Baron, listen, I think that it's very dangerous to have China have all this information at their disposal, but I'm not smart enough to understand why that's dangerous. I just think in my head, other people have said it's dangerous. You know what I'm saying? Like, isn't all of our information readily accessible anyway? If you really want it, couldn't you but just pay? Couldn't China just pay LexisNexis to get that information? Information or any private institution could pay LexisNexis? I mean, one time I applied for a car loan. This is like three years ago. I am still getting phone calls to this day where they know my middle name, my mom's maiden name, and they know what make, model, and, you know, license plate number I have on the car. They know where I work, they know where I live. They know everything about me. Not because I gave them that information, because they bought that information from the person who gave me the loan. Now they're trying to buy the loan. Now they're trying to get in the game. They're trying to make a little bit of money off me. That's the way it goes. So if China wants our info, can't they just give it to us anyway? I understand it's on your phone and they're sucking up your, you know, your emails and all that stuff. But listen, let's be real. All of us have a phone where there's an arrestable offense somewhere on there. You know what I'm saying? Somewhere on there, there's an arrestable offense.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Even Apple, I just read, had to pay out this huge lawsuit for Siri listening to which we knew was happening.

[Brian Green]

I knew it. I knew it. Instagram's doing the same thing. Facebook has been doing it for a long time. I am telling you, when I first got into. When I first got into Internet Marketing. Way back when Google was a thing, back before search engine optimization, also known as SEOs. Do you guys do SEOs? We do do SEOs. Oh, yes, we do do SEOs. When Google had just come online and search engine optimization, manipulating the search engines to make your website or web presence rank higher. Search engine optimization, when that was a thing, a whole cottage industry popped up under it. Now it's all AI driven. And I don't know that that SEO is. I don't know. Who knows? I haven't kept up with the SEOs. Okay, that's what I'm trying to say. We met, had a meeting one time with a gentleman, and this gentleman was starting a company. I'd love to know where this gentleman is today. The gentleman was starting a company where they would take, based on your Facebook application that was on your phone or your Google app at the time, your Google information. They would ping your phone, determine where you were exactly within like 50ft. And then they would serve you up, geofencing. Geofencing an advertisement to a particular shop or service that was close by. And then they would buy all the information from whatever company, Lexis, Nessus, Nexus or whoever, and triangulate that information so that the owner of that place that just got served up that ad would know exactly who you were and where you were so that when they came in, they would already be prepared to serve you or know what your preferences were or your taste. This was like highly advanced at the time, but it has all happened long since. Everybody knows the information. Are we really scared about TikTok having that information? I don't know, but I guess I would feel a little bit better if Kevin o' Leary owned it. Because I'd rather Kevin have my information than a bunch of random Chinese Communists. You know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I like your reasoning, Kevin.

[Brian Green]

Give me a call. I'll help you work out this deal with TikTok. He's buying it for $300 billion, supposedly. Who? Where? Who's giving him that loan? Because I don't think Kevin has $300 billion.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I don't know. He's raising money.

[Brian Green]

A bunch of hedge funds. That's what happens. That's how it all works. Bunch of hedge funds. That's how Elon got Twitter. Bunch of hedge funds. Private equity, whatever that means. Equity that's private, that no one knows about. That's what it is. It's complicated machinery. I don't have time to explain it here on the show, but just trust me, it's private. And it's equitized. That's all you need to know. It's private and it's equitable. Just not for you. Okay? You understand? All right, I've been on my rant for 30 minutes now. We're done. Let's do this.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Sometimes you just have to let it out.

[Brian Green]

I just saw Mark Zuckerberg right before we got on the show, and it made me angry. And I thought I'd go on a little rant about how I'm feeling about the oligarchs that are now ruling our society. I'm not mad at their money. I really am not. I believe that in America, you should be able to be a billionaire if you work hard and you do it correctly. And I think it might be hard to always do things correctly when you're a billionaire, but that's a different conversation for a different day. But let's not just cuckold them. Let's, you know, let's make sure they're. They're. They're doing right by at least most people. Do you know what I'm saying, Chris?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know what you're saying.

[Brian Green]

Well, thank you for agreeing with me, at least on this one thing. All right, we'll take a break. We'll be back.

[Host]

Have you got a hankering down deep in your soul to tell us what's up? Well, I am encouraging you to do just that. Text us at 212-4333, TCB and tell us what's going on. Give us the haps. Tell us the dirty secrets of your life. Life. That's all we've ever wanted to hear. You can also leave us a voicemail at the same number. That's 212-433-3822. And also follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok @TCB podcast. And if you want to see any video episodes, you can go to YouTube.com the commercial break, and they are all right there. And if your hankering is not to tell us what's up, but it's for a new sticker, I'm sure there's probably one on the website. Go to tcb podcast.com click contact us and find I want my free sticker. I know you can do it, and I can't wait to hear your thoughts on anything and everything. Love you. Bye.

[Brian Green]

Wow. Seven to nine inches of snow in some locations is now predicted.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, is that like north Georgia?

[Brian Green]

It's going to rain. It's going to rain. It's going to rain. No, that's here. That's here where we're at right now. Metro North. North Metro. But just south of here, like where you live. Let's look at that prediction. One to three inches.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I saw the one to three earlier.

[Brian Green]

Well, just stay up where the other house you stay at, and then you'll get all the snow. I don't want to. Okay, all right. Settle down. My 15th child. Simmer down. Yeah. You know this. Hey, listen, maybe it turns into something.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That we all need to bring it to Friday.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So I will.

[Brian Green]

I will have more confidence in this, I think, tomorrow, because I think 24 hours out. Yeah. The day of. They're generally. They. Generally they get within the earshot of it. But you just take those hurricanes, for example. You think after so many years of data with the hurricanes, that they could predict with some kind of certainty, like a cone of certainty, but it always seems to be extraordinarily uncertain. Yeah. Cone of Certainty.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That needs to be like a band name.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Cone of Certainty. Brian's excuse or Brian's Escape. Brian's Escape with Cone of Uncertainty opening this Friday. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The day it snows.

[Brian Green]

They're playing this Friday at the chameleon club on 10th street. Very dangerous downtown Atlanta. Cone of certainty with Brian's escape and Isolated fingering special guest. Isolated fingering, special guest. Get your bell rung. Bing bong. Chameleon Club. Remember that?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I do.

[Brian Green]

Do you remember the Chameleon Club? Yeah. Wow. The rec room. Oh, God, all those places. I was just reading that last night that while EDM electronic dance music has seen. It is like the WWE is having its moment in the sun. It is really having its moment in the sun.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Did you see that any of the stuff from the sphere over New Year's?

[Brian Green]

Yes. It looked incredible.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I was like. I really wanted. I wanted to be there.

[Brian Green]

I know. And I.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That looked so cool, Chrissy.

[Brian Green]

I thought to myself, I'm so happy that Enya's seeing a resurgence, you know? And then I realized that that's not the same Enya. It's Emya or whatever it is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, it was.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Isn't it Emya? Yeah. Can you look up Who's a sphere Enema? Enema. Yeah, it is. I think it is enema, actually. E, N, N. Look at Enemy sphere.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't know if that's what way it's pronounced.

[Host]

Anima.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Anima.

[Host]

Y, M A.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And you know what? That guy's dating Grimes.

[Brian Green]

Whoa.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. I went down a whole rabbit hole with that with him and the sphere. And then Who? Yeah, Grimes. Part of it.

[Brian Green]

I will tell you what. I am 100. Like most of my business predictions, I was 100% wrong about the sphere. Yeah. I thought the sphere would be a gimmick, and eventually they'd be playing like, you know, National Geographic whale movies. Yeah. Like IMAX movies that were specially made for it. And I was 100% wrong. And even the video is pretty impressive.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I went over the summer.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I know. You saw the dead there. I'd like to see the dead there, too. I think that would be great. I'd love to see fish there. I think they're gonna also make a return. Apparently, according to.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

My fish sources, they're doing CES out there right now. It's hard to believe that I even have fish sources, but I do. CES and the porn show are together every year. Just to let you know, the ABN Awards and the CES are together every year. I think they are. Anyway. I believe that's been going on for a long time. But that sphere is a technological achievement of epic proportions. And everyone who's been there, and I've talked to a number of people who have, including you, really have been very impressed by what they have managed to accomplish. And it's no gimmick. Like, it's really is a technical technological feat because apparently no matter where you sit in the entire building, you're either going to get bad vertigo and feel like you're gonna fall down, or you're just going to see the visuals of a lifetime in a electronic setting. Like a television screen type setting. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I mean, it's like surrounding you. And then also there's stuff to do with the scene.

[Brian Green]

They move and they rumble. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And there's smoke stuff and whatever. Anyways, it's. It's amazing.

[Brian Green]

The thing that I think is the biggest technical accomplishment is the hundred thousand plus speakers that are in the building that are directed at every single seat in the same way. Yeah. So that you, no matter where you are, can hear, have the exact same audio experience, which is like a live music lover's dream. Because we all know that depending on where you are and what venue it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Is, there's some seats that are better than others for the sound.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Like, I kind of know where to sit inside of the State Farm arena in order to have a good experience. I kind of understand if, you know, in an outdoor venue where you should stand to hear something. Well, the Fox Theater. Exactly. The Fox Theater is one of those few places, I think, where you pretty. You have a pretty Good seat, no matter what. Unless you're sitting behind a post. But here's the point. The point is that is amazing that this guy had this dream, went a billion dollars over budget and managed to ride it out, to bring together one of the most amazing venues or the most amazing venue that has ever been created. And the experience is worth all of the hype. And I think I can't wait to experience. I'm really excited. And to answer you. Yeah, I saw Anima or whatever it is. I saw a bunch of those videos.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. With like the robot thing coming in and looking and. Oh, my go. I was. I just, I loved it.

[Brian Green]

It's. Yeah, there. I mean, everybody in the audience was taking a video of this. So that part might have annoyed me a little bit. But there are millions of videos out there. Christine is looking at one right now.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's so cool.

[Brian Green]

It is so fucking cool. And I had no idea this, any ma or whoever it was even existed.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Me either.

[Brian Green]

I thought, I literally thought when I breezed by the article that it was Enya. And I was like, anya, good for them. I can't even believe they're still alive, let alone making.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, he's like an Italian American.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And quite amazing. Anyway, anyway, so here's the reason why I even brought EDM up is because EDM saw a 17% increase in global revenue in general, the category of music in live entertainment and sales and streams and all that. So $17.5 billion industry right now. Some of the largest outdoor shows, some of the largest festivals are edm. When everybody seems to be suffering a little bit. Bit. Except for, of course, Mempho, when everybody seems to be suffering a little bit in the live music industry. Electronic dance music is not. But here is a weird thing that is happening. There is now fewer late night overnight clubs to go to, dance clubs to go to than any time in the last 40 years. They're closing at a rapid rate. People do not or are not raving anymore. They're not, not going overnight, you know, they're not going late night to clubs to see this edm, to see the dance music like they used to in droves. So while everything else is kind of seeing a boost, a boom, including daytime live EDM shows.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, anytime.

[Brian Green]

You know, I've seen this. They like this. These people in New York have put together this sober rave, the morning sober rave. Have you seen this?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I saw that, yes. Yeah, the silent disco one.

[Brian Green]

No, this is a different one. But they do have Silent Disco 2. I have a Friend who got in on the silent disco thing early. He worked at Simcoe fm. The fashion plate. Remember Chris Martin, the fashion plate? He got in early on, bought into one of those businesses. And every other day he's at a church, he's at a conference, he's at a rave. He's somewhere with those headphones, thousands of them, giving them out to people. He must be fucking killing it. His business must have grown 10x because he's really doing well for himself. But these sober raves, these people on Instagram started inviting people like, you know, they'll invite them the night before to this location the next morning. Sober. Morning rave.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, before you go to work and.

[Brian Green]

Before they go to work and they go and they dance and then they go to work and probably go, happy to work. You know what I'm saying? You got a little bit of the, you know, you got a little bit of the fussies out. Yeah. You got the endorphins going. I would argue that everybody's sober, but, you know, that's just me. You know, I'm sure there's a few.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Few people they're still up for.

[Brian Green]

You're still up from the night before.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

There's gotta be a few.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But when I was in my early 20s, while I admittedly did not do this every night of the week, I used to love to go to those clubs in downtown Atlanta, you know, twice, three times a month, and go listen to, you know, electronic dance music. Did you know that I was, for a while, was an EDM promoter? Did you know this? Ah, the many machinations of Brian. The onions. The lives. You have legs. Yes. Feeling. If you had to put a gravestone with all of my professions on it, it'd be like the Washington Monument.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Was this before or after 33 willie?

[Brian Green]

This was after 33p, but before LA Strada, it was sometime in that weird space right there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Before 33p.

[Brian Green]

No, after 33p. No, 33p was when I was like 16 years old, 17 years old, that was. I was a baby then.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You went from Eddie Vedder to edm.

[Brian Green]

That's right. I.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Natural transition, Chrissy.

[Brian Green]

I'm telling you what. It was a weird time to be alive, and Brian was as weird as possible. And I. I think I just see, like I'm one of those guys who hops on the trend seven days after it already has peaked and started, you know? That's right. I buy Bitcoin at 100,000, it goes back down to 60. You know what I'm saying? Actually, altcoin is one of the only things that I've predicted correctly. But anyway, I met a couple of guys at a restaurant that I was working at and one of them was. Likened himself a D. A DJ back when Gay Raj, he likened himself, I'll say likened himself a DJ because he used to put CDs of mixed music together and we used to give them out. And I helped mixtape, I helped promote some of his shows.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

How did that go?

[Brian Green]

It didn't go well because not many people showed up. And then one time I put together a fashion show slash EDM concert. And the only thing I got out of it was to see some girl's boobs because she changed in front of me. That was the only thing I got. No money. Yeah, it was worth it. It was down at this Buckhead club. But for a minute there I saw the edm.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You like, likened yourself.

[Brian Green]

I likened myself to an EDM EDM promoter. It was fun while it lasted. And guess what the name of the company was that I created.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, God, I can only imagine.

[Brian Green]

Jam Land Productions. Jam Land Productions goes right along with that edm. Yeah, EDM flavor.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Presented by Jam Land.

[Brian Green]

Presented by Jam Land Productions. DJ Shit for Brains.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And the cone of Insecurity.

[Brian Green]

Cone of Insecurity and starring and on the turntables, the world's lamest 54 year old white man. We had this guy, he was a hippie. He was like a way hippie and he was very not smart. He was like, his brain was fried. He would be like, huh? And he sold cocaine for like a living. That's what he did. But he decided that he was going to get it on Jam Land Productions, that he could do the turntables. And he, he got up one night, okay, he got up one night last. There was no one in the club. It was like a Monday night.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

A Monday night, Chrissy.

[Brian Green]

It was like a Monday night. It was the only night we could convince anybody to give us a night. And so we put together a fashion show that didn't work. We had DJ Shit for Brains play that didn't work. There was like seven people in the club. Most of them were employees that were off, you know what I'm saying? Like employees that weren't working. It was really terrible. But the guy promised us a month. So on the fourth week, the guy who we at the dj, whatever, who was gonna spin, who actually probably could have brought 10 or 15 people into the door because he kind of had been doing this for a while. He decided mysteriously to cancel. He was like I'm sorry guys, can't do it. And so we got this guy, Pete the hippie, the 54 year old long haired, tie dye, wearing sandals covered. I mean he wore sandals everywhere. There was, there was no place else to go with it. We needed somebody. And literally the guy brought a tape player, plugged it in and started playing live grateful dance. And he tried to spit a record on top of it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

At least nobody was there.

[Brian Green]

Hey, listen, he was being creative.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'll give you ruin your reputation.

[Brian Green]

So we got like, so we got, for this we got like 20% of the door, which equals zero dollars every night. Every, all four of those nights. And then we also got a hundred dollar bar credit which I would burn through in like a first hour, right? Because I'd be buying drinks for girls or were, you know, I just was.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Like around on me. Hey, I was like, I'm with Jam Land.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'm. Hey, Jam Land Productions. Put it on the Jam Land tab. You should have seen these bartenders. They were like, I've seen a million of you and you're making me work on a Monday night for no money and you're not gonna tip me. How do I know that? Because you can't afford to buy drinks. I would come in and I'd be wearing like a Huayabera, like a Cuban short sleeve shirt, middle of winter pants that were too big because I couldn't afford them. Yes, Birkenstocks. I'd come walking in like, like a, like, you know, Mr. Club. And I'd be like, get the lighting on. Where's the speaker? Who got that? Are the girls ready?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Smoke machine?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Do we have any dancing girls? Where's the smoke machine? I'd go in there like I took charge of the place one time I walked back in the office of the club.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, I bet they love that.

[Brian Green]

And the guy goes like this, the manager goes like this. He just wagged his finger at me.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I go, oh, I just had a question. And he was like, I'll be out in a minute. This is for management here. Management. You're just a shithead that's making us no money. And so I was flying around the club talking to seven, you know, trying to make, you know, I was. The guy. I was doing nothing actually, is probably what I was doing. Sweating that. I had got four nights and none of them had worked out. I was so bad at this.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, wow.

[Brian Green]

And you know, once the guy plugged in the tape player to play his old Grateful Dead, I just, I didn't even ask for an offer.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

San Francisco 78.

[Brian Green]

San Francisco 78. Plus we're gonna put it together wiki wiki. Drop the acid. So let me explain that once that guy got on there and he actually tried to mix the Grateful Dead live shows into With a beat, it was all over. It was game over. The manager came over to me and he was like, what is this? And I go, well, listen, he's got kind of this new style. It's like a little bit. He's trying to mix the jamming with the. And he's like, I. I don't think this works, man. And I was like, well, what do you want me to do? I mean, you know, we had our guy cancel on us, so do you mind if he just kind of plays it out?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He just. Noodles.

[Brian Green]

The club closed at 2am this guy maybe started at 10:30pm the club mysteriously had to close at midnight.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm sure.

[Brian Green]

But to be fair, there was no one there to close the club with. Not a one person. Not one. Everybody scattered. The seven people that were there, scattered. Listen, I don't claim to be a business genius. Just look at the commercial break. But I will tell you this. At least I've tried. Okay?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You have. You've.

[Brian Green]

At least I've tried. What's that?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Dippity dabbled.

[Brian Green]

Oh, man, did I dippity dabble. Hey, man, can that hundred dollars go toward cocaine?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I've got a credit.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, do you have any coke? I got a bar credit. Can I trans for that to the guy at the end of the bar who's clear is selling cocaine. Is that okay with you? How about giving me a tip, asshole, and then we'll talk. All right, bro, don't get all upset. Another Bud Light. That's the other thing. The club guy drinking but running around with a Bud Light in his hand. What an asshole I was.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You did have your Cuban shirt on. True.

[Brian Green]

I did have my Cuban shirt on. I've been a real asshole in my life. That's what I'm coming to realize. I'm kind of a jerk off. When you get older, you realize you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Gotta try this, try that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. When you get older, you realize that all those things you say about yourself, they're true. All right, well, we'll try again tomorrow. Why not? Gustavo gonna come in and make an appearance next week. Don't miss out on it. TC Bill. TCB info commercial for you on Tuesday. If we had guests lined up, but at least one of them is canceled because of the wildfire.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So I Hope everybody is okay.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we didn't get a chance to talk about that, but I hope everybody's doing okay out in Los Angeles. Our agents out there, people that we know. So God bless. I hope every. That's crazy. That is apocalyptic. That is apocalyptic.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know. It's so scary.

[Brian Green]

I can deal with ice and snow, fire. That's scary. I don't want anything to do with that. So God bless you. If you're out in Los Angeles, let us know you're okay. Dial us up. 212-4333. TCB 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, Content, Ideas, Job ideas for Brian. What's next? Right. We'll take them all right there at the phone number. You can also leave us a voicemail if you're so brave. Tcb, Piper podcast dot com. That's where you find all the audio, all the video. It's all there, right there on the website. So if you're a browser kind of person, feel free to browse. Go browse.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Except the Naked Attraction one.

[Brian Green]

Except the Naked Attraction one. Which way you. Maybe that's where we should post it. Is on the website with a. Like, you must be 18 to view this kind of thing, so. But don't mind our spelling. One of my brothers just texted me. I was looking at. Did you see that? Did you see. Did my brother text you, too?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, I just saw it when I looked at the show today.

[Brian Green]

Oh, you did?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Like, did they mean that? I don't think they meant that.

[Brian Green]

Oh, you mean on the website?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, like on our podcast thing. I'll tell you.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Anyway, no, my brother was pointing out a typo in our actual website. He's like, oh, I think you misspelled this. We'll get it right. It's only been up there for a year. We'll get it right eventually. Don't worry about it. All right. Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCV podcast on Tik Tok. I'm wondering where Pete went. Whatever happened to Pete?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, I was going to ask you, did you ever see what happened to him?

[Brian Green]

I know. I know what happened to Pete. He actually bought Jam Land Productions. He bought it from us for $500 and a gram of cocaine. And YouTube.com commercial break for every single episode of the Commercial Break now on video. So go ahead and check that out. We certainly would appreciate it. Subscribe like on your favorite videos. Do us a favor. All right, Chrissy? That's all I can do for now?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you best to you and best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we will say, we do say. And we must say goodbye. Sam, I gotta get some cocaine. 70 gravy.