
Bryan & Krissy discuss weather-mania, ice/snow incidents in Atlanta, somehow Bryan was always doing blow, a second date in Snowpocalypse, Facebook & the robber barons, The TikTok ban, Bryan goes on a rant about Mark Zuckerberg, 7-9 inches of snow… ,EDM & The Sphere, “Phish sources”, Bryan was an EDM promoter, and JAMLAND PRODUCTIONS.
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Brian Green
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Kristen Joy Odley
Where'd you get those shoes?
Ben Stiller
Easy.
Kristen Joy Odley
They're from dsw.
Brian Green
Because DSW has the exact right shoes.
Ben Stiller
For whatever you're into right now. You know, like the sneakers that make office hours feel like happy hour, the boots that turn grocery aisles into runways, and all the styles that show off the many sides of you from daydreamer to multitasker and everything in between. Because you do it all in really great shoes. Find a shoe for every you at your DSW store. Or dsw.com. hey, have they called school yet? Well, I mean, it's starting to accumulate. Yes, it's accumulating right up here. I can see it. I can see it right now. Well, it just hit 32. It hurt 32 degrees. And it's going to get down to 28 tonight and it's going to be 28 in the morning. They can't go to school at 32 degrees. Babies are not made for 32 degree weather. Absolutely not. Absolutely not.
Brian Green
On this episode of the commercial break, for a minute there, I saw the edm.
Kristen Joy Odley
You likened yourself.
Brian Green
I likened myself. It was fun while it lasted. And guess what the name of the company was that I created.
Kristen Joy Odley
Oh, God, I can only imagine.
Brian Green
Jam Land Productions. Jam Land Productions goes right along with that edm.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah.
Brian Green
EDF Flavor, presented by Jam Land. Presented by Jambland Productions, DJ for Brains.
Kristen Joy Odley
And the cone of insecurity.
Brian Green
The cone of insecurity. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah, guys and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Glenn Burns to my Ken Cook, Kristen Joy Odley.
Kristen Joy Odley
Best of you, Brian.
Brian Green
You like that? You see where I went with that?
Kristen Joy Odley
All right, welcome to weather advisory weather.
Brian Green
Little weather related opening winter weather warning.
Kristen Joy Odley
Wintry mix.
Brian Green
Yes, Channel 11 alive only does storm alert days in serious situations. This is to be taken seriously. I just read it's a Friday here on the commercial break and we're not actually here on a Friday. We're probably embedded in some. In one and a half inches of snow that has crippled the city.
Kristen Joy Odley
We were stocked up on bread and milk.
Brian Green
Yes, bread and milk. Because first of all, who drink bread and milk? What bread and milk? Mac and cheese are like, you know, canned sou or something. Mac and cheese and wine, bread, milk and water. Those are the things that go. The alcohol. That's what goes. Gasoline, firewood. I mean, it's like people just go fucking bananas around here. And the pandemonium has already started and it's only the middle of the week. I'm referring to this winter storm that's supposedly going to affect some parts of the southeast, like the city of Atlanta, where we live and where we record. I got to be honest with you, I just don't believe the bullshit anymore. I've been living in this city for way too long. I've even noticed that. I think the meteorologists don't believe the bullshit anymore. I don't even think they think they know what's actually going to happen because they're wrong every fucking time. They're wrong about where the hurricane goes, the worry about wrong about what the weather's going to be in an hour, let alone five days from now. And every time they put together one of these special storm alerts which we have going on right now, everybody runs to the fucking store. There are lines. It's pandemonium. Everyone's driving like an asshole, trying to get home. I don't know. To apparently make French toast with their bread, milk, and eggs. I don't know what's going on. But then what's going to happen? It's going to rain. That's what's going to happen. It's going to rain, and we're all going to get seven days. Yes. We just got off 30 days of no school, and we're going to have three more school days where I got to go fucking crazy because my kids are running around the house with nothing to do. Fuck you. Fuck you, Chesley Nestle, or whatever your name is. Chesley. I like Chesley.
Kristen Joy Odley
I like Chesley, too. He has the wizard.
Brian Green
I used to have the wizometer, but I married Astrid, and she said, no wiz ometer for me. No wiz for me. We're gonna take the whiz out of the ometer. Why does my mind always go there? Of course, we did just spend all day yesterday looking at penises.
Kristen Joy Odley
So there you go.
Brian Green
That's a hard one to explain to ask her. I go in the kitchen yesterday and I go, hey, babe, I got a little concern about our new video team. And she's like, what? And I go, well, listen, we just spent the entire episode looking at dicks, and I'm not sure that I should. And she goes, wait, did you say you spent the entire episode looking at dicks? And I. I did spend the entire episode looking. Why are you looking at dicks? And I go, well, listen, it was for a show that we did about naked attraction. And she's like, I just don't understand some of the content. You.
Kristen Joy Odley
After 640, 75 episodes.
Brian Green
Yeah. 800 hours of the commercial print.
Kristen Joy Odley
I already called. Do not send that video to the editors.
Brian Green
Well, I didn't. I didn't. What I did was I sent the audio. I sent just us in our reaction to the video. I didn't actually send the actual video because YouTube's not going to show it anyway, so what's the fucking point? I'm certainly not going to put a clip of that on Spotify. Can you imagine all our new Venezuelan listeners and all they see is a big uncircumcised penis. Anyway, here in Atlanta, when it's. When there's snow, when there's threat of snow, when there's threat of winter weather, it is just like. It's like a sport here in Atlanta. It's like a sport to see who can cancel school first. How many days can we not go to work? And how many people can freak out over nothing, quite frankly. Now, to be fair in the occasion when. And there's been many of these.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yes.
Brian Green
When the weather people tell us it's not going to snow, everything's going to be okay.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah, don't worry about it. Boom.
Brian Green
Yeah, boom. Six inches of ice, no power for two weeks.
Kristen Joy Odley
People are peeing in their cars.
Brian Green
Truckers are shitting on the highway on.
Kristen Joy Odley
The side of the road for 12 hours.
Brian Green
The National Guard is picking people up out of their hot vehicles. They always get it wrong. Always. So when they say there's going to be 3 to 6 inches of snow where we're. Where we are right now, I just don't believe it. I don't have any reason to believe it because it never comes true.
Kristen Joy Odley
I mean, maybe the supercomputer can help with this moving forward.
Brian Green
Yeah, I know. Maybe I can help, but doesn't seem to be. They don't seem to be getting any better at this. And here's the thing. Everybody will remember a couple of events here in Atlanta having to do with Wintery Mix. The super. The year of the super bowl, whatever that was. 2000. No, well, 2003.
Kristen Joy Odley
Are you talking about the first storm, the ice storm.
Ben Stiller
I was a child, so.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah, let's go with that. I was living in Tennessee during that.
Brian Green
You were? Okay. All right. So actually four separate events. The first one. And all of them, I got stuck in strange circumstances. Let me explain. First one, whether people don't call it. And there literally was like 18 inches of snow. This is back in the 90s. I was stuck like 95. Yeah, 95. Yeah, 94. 95. I was on. I went to my. I went to my friend's older sister's house at Georgia Southern University. I've told that story before where I made out with some girl and then she freaked out because I was underage and she had some guy call and threaten me like he was his boyfriend. Anyway, all right, I'm not going to repeat this story. It was kind of gross and people didn't like it. All right, so Christina remembers it, so she's thanking God. I'm not repeating the story. The smell, that's all I got. I can just remember the smell of that situation. But I got stuck in Georgia Southern at Georgia Southern University for days. My dad had to pay for a hotel room because we couldn't literally couldn't drive back to Atlanta. Then There is the 2002, 2003 ice storm, when overnight we accumulated 5 to 6 inches of not snow, not rain, ice. And it literally turned to ice as soon as it hit the ground, hit the wires, hit the cars, and everybody was socked in. This crippled the city in a way that I will never forget because I went without power and heat for four or five days. We had to open the oven. We had to turn the oven on and open it to get heat in the house that's safe. And I was doing blow.
Kristen Joy Odley
Oh.
Brian Green
What story of Brian's doesn't include the word blow. If it's previous to 2007.
Kristen Joy Odley
D was able to get out.
Brian Green
Dee was able to get. We were able to. We managed to connect before the ice storm. So thank God I had my supplies. Most people go for bread and milk. Brian's going for blow and Bud Light. I was over at. Remember I told the story how one of my friends wanted me to kind of cuck his wife. He was gay, and he wanted me to kind of cuck his wife.
Kristen Joy Odley
He worked with her.
Brian Green
I worked with him at La Strada. And then he continued, and then he left to go work at the gay bar overnight. And he asked me to take care of his wife while he was out at the gay bar doing his thing. And I took care of her. And what we really ended up doing a lot of times was just sitting around doing drugs. And so like many other nights before we decided that we were going to do drugs. And when we did this, we start to realize that shit outside was getting a little bit hairy. We. And the gay bar closed early because it was getting hairy. And so we had to drive down to pick. All kind of fucking twisted. We drove down to pick him up on the highway, sliding from one lane to the other. The scariest ride I've ever taken. Maybe because of the cocaine, maybe because it was actually scary. Not really sure. But we slid back and forth all the way to pick him up. By the time we got back north of Atlanta, things were just bad.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah.
Brian Green
Transformers were exploding, tree line. Trees were falling. And I lived about four miles down Roswell Road, and I couldn't. We couldn't. There was. A decision was made. There was no more driving going to be done. I walked that four miles Back to where I was living. And I'll never forget this.
Kristen Joy Odley
Four miles is a long way in the ice.
Brian Green
It took me hours to walk home. Hours to walk home. I just remember slipping and sliding everywhere. I don't know why I had to go home. Yeah, I was on coke, and I was getting uncomfortable, and I was worried I was gonna get stuck. And there was a cat in the apartment, and I. You know, if I was doing blow, I was not having an allergic reaction. But after the effects of my decongestant wore off, I was gonna have a panic attack. And, you know, I'm really allergic to cats. And so I just think I just got in my own head, and I'm like, I gotta go. I gotta get back home. I don't want to be stuck here for days. And at that time, now we had the news on, and the news was saying, holy shit. What we said wasn't gonna happen. Happened.
Kristen Joy Odley
Whoops.
Brian Green
The whole city socked in, and no one has power. So when I'm walking home, I remember walking toward a gas station on Roswell Road, and there was a light post had a transformer on it. One of that sits up there that converts whatever the fuck that does. That thing exploded when I was about a football field away from it. And I could feel it in my testicles. It was the loudest, deepest explosion I had ever heard. It hurt my ears, and the light was like a thousand suns. It was crazy. Just exploded, sparks flying everywhere. And so I started to hustle up just a little bit quicker toward home. Trees, branches falling, cracking. It was the apocalypse and Brian's walking home. I had a perfectly warm place to sleep, by the way. The apartment that I left had power the entire time. The apartment that I went back to had no power When I got home, for four days, I had no power. Then, of course, the great shit 75 shitstorm of 2013, I think it was.
Kristen Joy Odley
13, yeah.
Brian Green
When I was on the second date, my second date with a girl who I.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yes.
Brian Green
Anyway.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yes.
Brian Green
She came over to my house to watch a movie. And I'll never forget, we watched Inception, is the movie that we watched. And I smoked cigarettes at the time. So did she. And so as the movie ended, we decided to go outside and smoke a cigarette. When we started Inception, it was raining when I. We went out almost three hours later to go smoke a cigarette.
Kristen Joy Odley
It was crazy. It happened so fast.
Brian Green
Six inches of snow.
Kristen Joy Odley
I had just dropped Jeff off at the airport because he was going up to New York.
Brian Green
Oh, really?
Kristen Joy Odley
For. Cause I think that was around The super bowl, too. There was something going on. I think maybe the new.
Brian Green
Maybe.
Ben Stiller
I thought this was like fall. If it was 2013.
Kristen Joy Odley
It was like January.
Brian Green
It was like January.
Ben Stiller
Okay. Then it was 2014, because that was my freshman year of college.
Brian Green
Yeah. Okay. So 2014.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah. So I had just dropped duff off, and then I got back home and it just started dumping.
Brian Green
Dumping. It happened so quick.
Kristen Joy Odley
And that's what caused. That's what everybody got caught.
Brian Green
Yes.
Kristen Joy Odley
Everybody's trying to get to their kids to get them out of school.
Brian Green
That's right.
Kristen Joy Odley
Things went nuts. The traffic was insane. Stuck. Everybody was stuck.
Brian Green
It went crazy quickly. And I lived in an apartment. And if you walked outside of my apartment, I was on, like, you know, it was one of these that kind of sits on the side of a hill, and that Hill pointed toward i75, which is the major artery that goes right through the city. So I live downtown right off I. And I say right off 75. Right off 75. I could see it when I walked into my apartment.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah.
Brian Green
And as we woke up the night. So of course, she couldn't go anywhere. She was scared to drive. I agreed with her. There were a lot of. The problem with the city of Atlanta is it's very hilly, and none of our streets are congruent. There is no going around the block in Atlanta. If you head onto a street, you're kind of stuck there for the next 10 miles. You know what I'm saying? You can't go around the block.
Kristen Joy Odley
You have a grid system.
Brian Green
Someone was on acid when they developed the city of Atlanta because it's crazy. So the next morning when we woke up and we are watching this, and this is night number one on the second date I have with this young lady. We're into, like, the 24th hour of this date. When I woke up the next morning, I turn on the TV and I see that the helicopters are flying above the highway where I live. Like, I could go outside. I could hear the helicopters above me. The TV cameras are literally down on the street because there are thousands of vehicles that are stuck in there. Stuck right there where I live. Like on 75. Stuck right there. People are stuck.
Kristen Joy Odley
It was a mess.
Brian Green
The National Guard is called in to try and bring them water and food. I walked outside to go see what was going on. And as I look over the balcony, there was a trucker in the woods down the hill where I live, there was a trucker, his ass full of glory, letting the hot shit out right there on the side of the hotel.
Kristen Joy Odley
Why were you telling me that?
Brian Green
I never seen anything like it in my life. I was like, oh, my God. I thought exploit transformer explosion was apocalypse. This felt much more like apocalypse to me. So we. So in the good spirit of being an Atlantan, we made a pot of coffee, a big couple pots of coffee, and we went out there and started bringing coffee.
Ben Stiller
So you went to make people shit more?
Brian Green
We allowed people to relieve themselves. Yeah, I mean, listen, okay, you got a shit. You got a shit. What are you going to do? The trucker was. I. I mean, he just had to.
Ben Stiller
Go, he's gonna speed that up.
Brian Green
Oh, yeah. So we brought coffee, we brought water. We. We made a couple of trips out that was also a slippery. We were like kind of sliding down the ramp.
Kristen Joy Odley
Oh, yeah.
Brian Green
But that's what we did. Anyway, day number five, still Lots. Still a little sloggy out there on the roads. But you. Now we. I could see that cars were out there driving on the side streets. Not on the highway yet, but on. Because eventually the National Guard got everybody out of their car, took them to wherever it is they were going at, like, a cab service. And the cars just sat there on the highway.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah, they did.
Brian Green
And the governor, like, seven days into this, had to say on tv, if you don't move your car today, we are going to tow you. You need to move your car. We're going to have to move them out of the way. And the National Guard eventually went and started pushing cars out of the way. It was crazy. I. Day number five, even though it was still very slick and sloggy out there, I made the decision to get in my own car with this young lady. I couldn't take it anymore. I was done. I was like, I gotta get you home. I'm sorry. I gotta get you home. And she's like, I just don't feel comfortable driving. I can hear the car sliding out there. And I was like, you may not feel comfortable driving, but I do.
Kristen Joy Odley
So let me give you a Honda Accord with no hood.
Brian Green
That's right.
Kristen Joy Odley
It's perfectly safe.
Brian Green
What else could possibly go wrong with my car? If we crash, we crash. And I'm telling you what, we slid all the way over the. All over those side streets to get her home. And I slid all the way back. And I took a deep, solid breath when I got home, and I was like, thank God I can just ride this out by myself now. It was so. It turned into, like, the worst. It just was, you know, you're just.
Kristen Joy Odley
Back for more later.
Brian Green
Oh, three Years later, three years later, we broke up. We're good. Yes. Three years later. This I should have known right then. I did know right then and right there. But, you know, sometimes we're gluttons for punishment. The hot wants what the hot wants.
Kristen Joy Odley
They used to tell me that it.
Brian Green
Is what it is.
Kristen Joy Odley
I'd be like, brian, really?
Brian Green
I'm holding space.
Kristen Joy Odley
You're broken up again. Wait, now you're back together again? Oh, the heart wants what the heart wants. Chrissy.
Brian Green
Yeah. Not only did I used to say that to Chrissy, I would say that in the course of 24 hours.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yes.
Brian Green
I would be like, we broke up. Call later on in the day. We're back. It's not back home. Well, no.
Kristen Joy Odley
Then you'd be like, hey, you wanna come meet so and so out with me? We're gonna go to the bar and come meet us out. I'd be like, I thought y'all broke up.
Brian Green
Nah, Wait, you just broke up this morning. And I'd be like, yeah, no, it's fine. We're all good. Yeah, we patch things up.
Ben Stiller
Thank God for Astrid. Thank God.
Brian Green
Astrid's the best thing that ever happened.
Kristen Joy Odley
Tina, you have no idea.
Brian Green
But I honestly think I had to get through schnitzel tits to get to Astrid to understand what a good partner is for me and then how to be a good partner to someone else. You just have to go through that stuff. Sometimes you do.
Kristen Joy Odley
That's true.
Brian Green
I firmly believe that we learn by doing, or at least I learned by. There's lots of people on earth who. And I'm really good at giving relationship advice. I consider myself really good at giving relationship advice, but I can't take it to save my life. I just can't take my own advice. I can see a train wreck coming a mile away if it's somebody else that's getting in the train wreck. But I will literally stand on the tracks, and the train will go forward and back up a couple times before I realize I shouldn't be standing on the fucking tracks. Listen, I'm just one of those guys. I have to learn by doing and then fail multiple times. And look at this podcast. Look at this podcast. We should have given this up three years ago. We should have stocked it in a.
Kristen Joy Odley
Little bit of this, a little bit of that.
Brian Green
Mama Brian's back with her. Ryan's back with snittle tits. Locked you out of your apartment. Called your mom a bitch to her face. Screamed and yelled at you in front of everybody.
Kristen Joy Odley
Broke the window.
Brian Green
Broke your window. Slashed your tires. Wha. Bam. The hard ones want the hard wallets. Anyway, we're probably snowed in. I'm probably calling bullshit. I'm trying to call the bullshit, but this looks like it actually. So pray for us here in Atlanta. I love that's my favorite thing in the world is when social media starts making those posts about Atlanta after snow. Pray for Atlanta with like a dusting of snow.
Kristen Joy Odley
I know.
Brian Green
Sorry folks, Atlanta's closed. John Candy from the vacation. Oh my God.
Kristen Joy Odley
That's a great.
Brian Green
All right.
Kristen Joy Odley
Gotta love that movie.
Brian Green
Get your memes ready. Instead, tag us on Instagram. We'd love to see it. We'll keep you posted. I promise. I'll make a real. If any kind of wintry weather happens, I'll post a reel and I'll tag the commercial break in it. All right, let's take a break. We'll be back.
Ben Stiller
I have a wild idea. Go to our Instagram and follow us hecommercial break and then go to our TikTok and follow us there TCB podcast and then go to our YouTube YouTube.com thecommercialbreak and follow us there and then text us at 212-4333, TCB and tell us that you followed us on all of those other places. And then go to our website TCPodcast.com and browse I guess. Well, those are all the ideas I have for today. So see you tomorrow.
Adam Scott
Bye.
Chesley Nestle
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Brian Green
Hey, I'm Ben Stiller. I'm Adam Scott and we make a TV show called Severance on January 17th. Severance is back for season two on Apple TV and we can't wait for you guys to see it and before the premiere, Ben and I are going to be binging season one and putting out daily recap podcasts. Yep, each weekday beginning January 7th, we'll be dropping an episode featuring exclusive behind the scenes tidbits and brilliant insights from our cast and crew and us. Patricia Arquette, Britt Lauer, Zach Cherry, John Turturro. The list goes on. All your favorite Lumen employees, their friends, families, enemies in your feed every single weekday. And here's the best part. After that, we're gonna keep going. Tune in weekly as we recap every episode of season two. The podcast drops on the same day the episode comes out. It's the severance podcast with Ben and Adam on Apple Podcasts, the Odyssey app, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Brian Green
I'm officially done with Facebook. I just want to share that with everybody. You've gotten back on it?
Kristen Joy Odley
I have. I've been checking in recently.
Brian Green
Oh, really? For what reason?
Kristen Joy Odley
I don't know.
Brian Green
Are you finding dates on there?
Kristen Joy Odley
No, I wanted to check out the Marketplace thing and you know, it sucks you back in.
Brian Green
Yeah, they know how to do it.
Kristen Joy Odley
It's the Facebook sock.
Brian Green
Yeah. Mark Fuckerberg knows how to get people to pay attention. I mean, good, bad or indifferent Mark has changed our lives. And so actually mainly bad and indifferent Mark Zuckerberg has changed our lives. But it just seems like, like, I mean, I know this happens with every single administration and I'm not claiming that Trump is the only one this is happening with, but it sure does seem like the robber barons are kneeling at the. At the. At the, I don't know, the throne of Trump. And it's really strange to me to see them so publicly sucking a dick.
Kristen Joy Odley
I mean, honestly, I mean, I'm not surprised.
Brian Green
No, there's no surprises here. There's. The only guy that I that's gonna.
Kristen Joy Odley
Try and fight him is gonna be, you know, then that's gonna be an enemy number one.
Brian Green
Of course. Yeah, that's the thing, is that he makes such a big stink about every single thing. And he causes a lot of drama for. With, like, normally, I think most presidents, you know, with the exception of some in our history, would just kind of like, you know, okay, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna publicly lambast you. That's for the. Whoever, whatever the regulate. Yeah, that's private. That's right. That's for the. I do that privately. Privately. I step on your business, I don't publicly do it. But they're so scared of getting a public tongue lashing and having, you know, whatever. I'm not sure whatever happened, they're so scared of it that they just kneel and they bow and it's really quite disturbing to me. I liked when all this stuff happened in private that I didn't know about it and I didn't have to be upset.
Kristen Joy Odley
At least Greenland is standing up.
Brian Green
Yeah, I mean, Trump's threatening to invade Greenland and Panama. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Now, listen, we probably could invade Panama. Doesn't even have a standing army. That could be a really easy take. All right, I get that one. But Greenland. You're gonna go for Greenland. Let Greenland be. For God's sakes. Do we really need green? I mean, he says it's like a military, strategic. Maybe it is, but we already have relationship with Greenland. Why do we want to own another country? Can't we get this one right before we start looking at others? Canada, the 51st state. Really? How about making Puerto Rico the 51st and give them the attention that they need before we go paying attention to Canada? But of course, we know why that's not going to happen. Anywho, the one guy that I still like out of all this, one billionaire that I'm still, you know, thinking is semi sane is Mark Cuban.
Kristen Joy Odley
100%.
Brian Green
Yeah, Mark Cuban is, at least. I mean, listen, I don't love everything about Mark Cuban, but I think generally he's speaks truth to power and he seems to not be afraid. And, you know, he agrees with some.
Kristen Joy Odley
Stuff but disagrees with other things. The major things that make the most sense.
Brian Green
Here's what's gonna be shocking to some listeners who are no longer listening because they don't like the fact their fannies are hurt that I talked about Trump in a negative way. But if your fanny is hurt that I talked about Trump in a negative way, let me share something with you that might be surprising. I don't disagree with everything Trump has to say. Don't disagree with it. Don't disagree with some of the stuff Stuff that him and some of the people that are around him say, I actually agree with. I think that we do need big change in this country. I don't think the country works for a lot of folks, but I don't think we're gonna get there by kowtowing to billionaires. I just don't think we're gonna do that. That's my personal opinion. There should be a nice adversarial relationship going on with people who control most of the wealth in this country. And we should be checking them to make sure that they don't. That they don't like their cup. Don't spill us over, crushing everybody in the process. And that should be part of the government's responsibility, should be to checks and balances to make sure. I'm not saying take away their wealth. I don't believe in that. I don't believe in wealth distribution. But I'm saying that we shouldn't just be cuddling up to them and letting them do whatever the fuck they want to do. Nor should it be the opposite way around. I don't believe that because I don't think that's good for us, the small people, the people who don't make any money podcasting. I want to be a billionaire too, but I'm never going to get there because, you know, I don't know. It's because there's certain people, you know, they just seem to be absorbing a ton of wealth without any checks and balances and not doing great by the people who allow them to get that rich. Amazon is a perfect example of this. They don't treat their employees very well. And at every turn that the employees are trying to help themselves get out of that city situation or make it a little bit better, they get crushed. And we're not helping them. And the new administration doesn't seem to be willing to help them. They wanna fight against it. Why? Why? Why shouldn't we help the workers at Amazon? They bring me a random microphone wire in three hours.
Kristen Joy Odley
I know, I know. I always don't choose that option when they're like, we can have it to you by 7:00am Oh, I always do.
Brian Green
I'm the asshole who always does that.
Kristen Joy Odley
Like those four people that are delivering it in the cold and dark in the middle of the overnight.
Brian Green
Yeah, but those people, those people who do bring me the random microphone wire in three hours. Let me give you a story for all the kids out there. When I first started playing guitar and I got an amplifier and my. God damn it, Brian, shut that Shit up. When I got the first ever amplifier ever made in 1909, the Fender number one. When I got that, I needed a wire in order to plug that thing in. You know what I had to do? I had to go to my dad, ask him for a ride to the guitar store that was 26 miles away to then go and pay for that wire and bring it back to the house. That entire process took about six weeks because my dad knew once I plugged the guitar in, it was all over for the rest of the house. And man, was it if I didn't every three minutes. Here. Brian, turn it down. What the fuck? Shut up.
Kristen Joy Odley
I'm gonna be a star. Dad.
Brian Green
Dad, I'm Eddie Van. Sonny's not up. Why? Why? Can it be? Can it be, Brian? You know what can be yours, Brian? The garage. Go there. So now the amazing development that Amazon can get you anything at any time and bring it to you within hours is a blessing among blessings. It is like a gift from the heavens. It makes your life so incredibly easier. And if you, the regular listener at home doesn't believe that those people should be treated correctly, then you are a shithead. Period. End of sentence. There's nothing else to say. Same with the grocery deliveries and the FedEx guy and the people who work behind the coffee counter and whoever. Christina.
Ben Stiller
All these people, our service workers patiently waiting.
Brian Green
The people who work for us and do the things that make our lives easier, more convenient, better, healthier, whatever you want to say, those are the people that we should take care of. Jeff Bezos, we don't need to worry about. The guy has a yacht that has a yacht inside the yacht. Who fucking cares? No one. No one's gonna ever bother Jeff Bezos. He's never. Do you think Jeff Bezos orders Amazon? Here's a question I have. Do you think Jeff Bezos uses Amazon Prime?
Kristen Joy Odley
I bet he does.
Brian Green
I bet he does too.
Ben Stiller
Do you think he gets everything for free?
Brian Green
Yeah, of course.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah.
Brian Green
I mean, technically.
Ben Stiller
That's annoying.
Brian Green
Maybe not. Maybe he's got like a. He's probably got an account where, like, he racks shit up. Ye. You think Jeff orders. Jeff orders, like, you know, oat milk at 3 in the morning to be delivered by 7.
Ben Stiller
Probably an assistant who does that.
Brian Green
Yo. Yeah, he's got an assistant. Whose assistant's assistant does that? Because that person probably never talks. Speaks to Jeff Bezos. Jeff just sends a text message to his most trusted advisor who then send. Who sends a million people out to do everything. And that's okay. I'm not arguing with that. I'd love to be in that position. As long as I didn't hurt anybody else to get there, I'd love to be in that position. But there's the point also, is that I think we need to just consider how everybody. I think everybody. I think certain people have this mentality. I don't fault them for that. I think certain people have this mentality that that's what I want. I want to be Jeff Bezos. I want to be the millionaire. I want to drive the Lamborghini. I want to have a boat. I want to live Lamborghini. It's a porcini mushroom mixed with the Labrador retriever Labradoodle. Yeah, it's a labradoodle. I think they have this impression that that's what I want. And okay, that's great. That's the American dream. Everybody wants that. But you're going to need the help and the cooperation of people who may never realize that dream in order to get there. And if we cannot step on heads on the way up the ladder, lest we meet them on the way back down, I just think that it might be a better place to live, a better society in general. And so I argue sometimes that cuddling up to all of the robber barons that are out there right now and making their lives easier at the expense of everybody else who's helping them get there is really a shitty attitude to have and it doesn't work.
Kristen Joy Odley
And so it's been going on since the invention of our country, though. I mean, think about all of the. Of course, the train, the steel, all of that, that actually built the country. Same thing. I mean, talk about those working conditions. There was child labor.
Brian Green
Child labor. The Chinese people built our railroads and everybody else got rich. I argue, Chrissy, here's the surprise for you because Brian's going to know a history fact. Even the Egyptians treated their people shitty. Now we're not living in Egypt, though. We're living in the United States of America in 2024. This should be a little bit different. 2025. Thank you. Me and my kid both still trying to get used to that new number.
Kristen Joy Odley
You're fighting it.
Brian Green
I'm arguing it. I'm fighting it all the way. But I'm sorry. The guy of all the billionaires, the billionaire that really makes me just like, hot under the collar. Is that Mark Fucking Fuckerberg? He is so terrible. He's just like, is he human? I'm not even sure that's not a robot with skin on it. Do you Know what I'm saying? He doesn't move his head or blink his eyes.
Kristen Joy Odley
I can see.
Brian Green
What's wrong with that? How do you do that?
Kristen Joy Odley
Practice.
Brian Green
Yeah, I know. Facebook has just turned into a cesspool. Of disgustingness. I mean, maybe the marketplace is fine and apparently everybody's dating on there now. So maybe I'm just an old man who can't get hep with the kids. I don't know. I don't know. But, you know, fuck you. I don't want to be on Facebook anymore.
Kristen Joy Odley
You don't have to be.
Brian Green
Yeah, I'm getting with the newfangled Instagram. Those people are better over there. Oh, wait, it's owned by Mark Zuckerberg.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah.
Brian Green
Shit. TikTok.
Ben Stiller
That's why we're getting on Next door.
Brian Green
Next door is.
Kristen Joy Odley
Who owns Next Door?
Brian Green
Probably some Chinese company. I don't know. I have no idea.
Kristen Joy Odley
You don't hear about that one.
Brian Green
Yeah, no, I think Next Door is a private company. It's probably owned by Uber Eats or something. I don't know. Who knows?
Ben Stiller
Or says a bunch of investors. Institutional investors next door.
Kristen Joy Odley
Okay.
Ben Stiller
And just a bunch of people.
Kristen Joy Odley
I was gonna think maybe it was the landscaping.
Ben Stiller
CEO is Nirav Tolia.
Kristen Joy Odley
These efforts, sizing.
Brian Green
It's all my landscaping company owns next door. Instead of buying Greenland, let's buy next Door. How's that? Kevin O'Leary is thinking about buying Tik Tok. He's trying to buy Tik Tok.
Kristen Joy Odley
I have. I had no idea, but. Okay.
Brian Green
Which is beyond beyond to me. Like, I have a hard time believing that the guy who's, I don't know, the. You know, the kind of the persnickety jerk off from Shark Tank, which I don't have any problems with. Kevin O'Leary, quite frankly, I think he's pretty smart. But, you know, that guy is going to own TikTok. Is this going to be another Justin Timberlake MySpace moment where TikTok just goes into oblivion because of who owns it? Do you remember when Justin bought MySpace?
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah, but when he bought that, though, it was definitely. Oh, yeah, MySpace was pretty much. Yeah, yeah, TikTok's alive and well.
Brian Green
TikTok's alive and well. And there are a lot of creators who. Who rightfully are very nervous and very scared that their way of living is going to be gone. Because TikTok has paid a lot of creators a lot of money and a lot of people applaud them for that, as do I. If you're helping the platform be successful, you should participate in some way, shape or form. But a lot of creators are very nervous that this tick tock ban will go into effect. I think it's now going to be sitting in front of the Supreme Court. It's up to Donald Trump whether or not, not, I guess he signs the bill into law.
Kristen Joy Odley
I don't think he's going to sign it.
Brian Green
No, I don't think he is either.
Kristen Joy Odley
Baron. You know, next to him saying, dad, you cannot do this.
Brian Green
Yeah. And you know what? For that I applaud you. Baron, listen, I think that it's very dangerous to have China have all this information at their disposal. But I'm not smart enough to understand why that's dangerous. I just think in my head other people have said it's dangerous. You know what I'm saying? Like, isn't all of our information readily accessible anyway? If you really want it, couldn't you but just pay, Couldn't China just pay LexisNexis to get that information? Information or any private institution could pay LexisNexis. I mean, one time I applied for a car loan. This is like three years ago. I am still getting phone calls to this day where they know my middle name, my mom's maiden name, and they know what make, model and, you know, license plate number I have on the car. They know where I work, they know where I live, they know everything about me. Not because I gave them that information, because they bought that information from the person who gave me the loan. Now they're trying to buy the loan. Now they're trying to get in the game. They're trying to make a little bit of money off me. That's the way it goes. So if China wants our info, can't they just give it to us anyway? I understand it's on your phone and they're sucking up your, you know, your emails and all that stuff. But listen, let's be real. All of us have a phone where there's an arrestable offense somewhere on there. You know what I'm saying? Somewhere on there there's an arrestable offense.
Kristen Joy Odley
Even Apple, I just read, had to pay out this huge lawsuit for Siri listening to us, which we knew was.
Brian Green
Happening, I knew it. I knew it. Instagram's doing the same thing. Facebook has been doing it for a long time. I am telling you, when I first got into, when I first got into Internet marketing, way back when Google was a thing, back before search engine optimization, also known as SEOs. Do you guys do SEOs? We do do SEOs. Oh, yes. We do do SEOs. When Google had just come online and search engine optimization, manipulating the search engines to make your website or web presence rank higher. Search engine optimization. When that was a thing, a whole cottage industry popped up under it. Now it's all AI driven. And I don't know that that SEO is. I don't know. Who knows? I haven't kept up with the SEOs. Okay, that's what I'm trying to say. We met, had a meeting one time with a gentleman, and this gentleman was starting a company. I'd love to know where this gentleman is today. The gentleman was starting a company where they would take, based on your Facebook application that was on your phone or your Google app at the time, your Google information. They would ping your phone, determine where you were exactly within like 50ft. And then they would serve you up, geofencing. Geofencing an advertisement to a particular shop or service that was close by. And then they would buy all the information from whatever company, Lexis, Nessus, Nexus or whoever, and triangulate that information so that the owner of that place that just got served up that ad would know exactly who you were and where you were so that when they came in, they would already be prepared to serve you or know what your preferences were or your taste. This was like highly advanced at the time, but it has all happened long since. Everybody knows the information. Are we really scared about TikTok having that information? I don't know, but I guess I would feel a little bit better if Kevin O'Leary owned it, because I'd rather Kevin have my information than a bunch of random Chinese communists, you know what I'm saying?
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah, I like your reasoning, Kevin.
Brian Green
Give me a call, I'll help you work out this deal with TikTok. He's buying it for $300 billion, supposedly. Who? Where? Who's giving him that loan? Because I don't think Kevin has $300 billion.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah, I don't know.
Brian Green
He's raising funds, a bunch of hedge funds. That's what happens. That's how it all works. Bunch of hedge funds. That's how Elon got Twitter. Bunch of hedge funds. Private equity, whatever that means. Equity that's private, that no one knows about. That's what it is. It's a complicated machinery. I don't have time to explain it here on the show, but just trust me. It's private and it's equitized. That's all you need to know. It's private and it's equitable, just not for you. Okay, You Understand? All right, I've been on my rant for 30 minutes now. We're done. Let's do this.
Kristen Joy Odley
Sometimes you just have to let it out.
Brian Green
I just saw Mark Zuckerberg right before we got on the show, and it made me angry. And I thought I'd go on a little rant about how I'm feeling about the oligarchs that are now ruling our society. I'm not mad at their money. I really am not. I believe that in America, you should be able to be a billionaire if you work hard and you do it correctly. And I think it might be hard to always do things correctly when you're a billionaire, but that's a different conversation for a different day. But let's not just cuckold them. Let's, you know, let's make sure they're. They're. They're doing right by at least most people. Do you know what I'm saying, Chris?
Kristen Joy Odley
I know what you're saying.
Brian Green
Well, thank you for agreeing with me, at least on this one thing. All right, we'll take a break. We'll be back.
Ben Stiller
Have you got a hankering down deep in your soul to tell us what's up? Well, I am encouraging you to do just that. Text us at 212-4333, TCB and tell us what's going on. Give us the halves. Tell us the dirty secrets of your life. That's all we've ever wanted to hear. You can also leave us a voicemail at the same number. That's 212-433-3822. And also follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok @TCB podcast. And if you want to see any video episodes, you can go to YouTube.com the commercial break, and they are all right there. And if your hankering is not to tell us what's up, but it's for a new sticker, I'm sure there's probably one on the website. Go to tcbpodcast.com click contact us and find I want my free sticker. I know you can do it, and I can't wait to hear your thoughts on anything and everything. Love you. Bye. Yeah, sure thing. Hey, you sold that car yet?
Brian Green
Yeah, sold it to Carvana.
Ben Stiller
Oh, I thought you were selling to that guy.
Brian Green
The guy who wanted to pay me in foreign currency, no interest, over 36 months. Yeah, no. Carvana gave me an offer in minutes, picked it up, and paid me on the spot. It was so convenient.
Ben Stiller
Just like that.
Brian Green
Yeah.
Ben Stiller
No hassle, none that is super convenient.
Kristen Joy Odley
Sell your car to Carvana and swap hassle for convenience.
Ben Stiller
Pickup fees may apply.
Mark Zuckerberg
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Brian Green
Wow. 7 to 9 inches of snow in some locations is now predicted.
Kristen Joy Odley
Oh, is that like North Georgia?
Brian Green
It's gonna rain. It's gonna rain. It's gonna rain. No, that's here. That's here where we're at right now. Metro. North. Metro. But just south of here, like where you live. Let's look at that prediction. One to three inches.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah, I saw the one to three earlier.
Brian Green
Well, just stay up where the other house you stay at and then you'll get all the snow.
Ben Stiller
I don't want to.
Brian Green
Okay, all right. Settle down. My 15th child. Simmer down. Yeah. You know this. Hey, listen, maybe it turns into something.
Kristen Joy Odley
That we all need to bring it to Friday.
Brian Green
Yeah. So I will. I will have more confidence in this, I think, tomorrow. Because I think 24 hours out. Yeah. The day of. They're generally. They. Generally they get within the earshot of it. But you just take those hurricanes, for example. You think after so many years of data with the hurricanes that they could predict with some kind of certainty, like a cone of certainty, but it always seems to be extraordinarily uncertain. Yeah. A cone of certainty.
Kristen Joy Odley
That needs to be like a band name.
Brian Green
Yes. Cone of Certainty. Brian's Excuse or Brian's Escape. Brian's Escape with Cone of Uncertainty opening this Friday.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah. The day it snows.
Brian Green
They're playing this Friday at the chameleon club on 10th street. Very dangerous downtown Atlanta. Cone of certainty with Brian's escape and isolated fingering special guest. Isolated fingering special guest. Get your bell rung, bing bong. Chameleon Club. Remember that?
Kristen Joy Odley
I do.
Brian Green
Do you remember the Chameleon Club? Yeah. Wow. The rec room. Oh, God. All those places. I was just reading that last night. That while EDM electronic dance music has seen. It is like the WWE is having its moment in the sun. It is really having its moment in the sun.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah. Did you see that? Any of the stuff from the Sphere over New Year's?
Brian Green
Yes.
Kristen Joy Odley
It looked incredible. I was like. I really wanted. I wanted to be there.
Brian Green
I know. And I.
Kristen Joy Odley
That looked so cool, Chrissy.
Brian Green
I thought to myself, I'm so happy that Enya's seeing a resurgence, you know? And then I realized that that's not the same Enya. It's Emya or whatever it is.
Kristen Joy Odley
No, it was.
Brian Green
Yeah. Isn't it Emya? Yeah. Can you look up who's a Sphere?
Kristen Joy Odley
Enema?
Brian Green
Enema. Yeah, it is. I think it is Enema, actually. E, N, N. Look at enemy sphere.
Kristen Joy Odley
I don't know if that's the way it's pronounced. Anima. Anima.
Brian Green
Anima.
Ben Stiller
Y, M, A.
Kristen Joy Odley
And you know what? That guy's dating Grimes.
Brian Green
Whoa. Yeah.
Kristen Joy Odley
I went down a whole rabbit hole with that with him and the Sphere. And then who? Yeah, I was part of it.
Brian Green
I will tell you what. I am 100. Like most of my business predictions, I was 100% wrong about the Sphere.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah.
Brian Green
I thought the Sphere would be a gimmick, and eventually they'd be playing like, you know, know National Geographic whale movies. Yeah. Like IMAX movies that were specially made for it. And I was 100% wrong. And even the video is pretty impressive.
Kristen Joy Odley
I went over the summer.
Brian Green
Yeah, I know. You saw the dead there. I'd like to see the dead there, too. I think that would be great. I'd love to see fish there. I think they're going to also make a return. Apparently, according to. Yeah, my fish sources, they're doing CES.
Kristen Joy Odley
Out there right now.
Brian Green
It's hard to believe that I even have Fish sources, but I do. CES and the porn show are together every year. Just to let you know, the ABN Awards and the CES are together every year. I think they are. Anyway, I believe that's been going on for a long time. But that Sphere is a technological achievement of epic proportions. And everyone who's been there and I've talked to a number of people who have, including you, really have been very impressed by what they have managed to accomplish. And it's no gimmick. Like it really is a technological feat because apparently no matter where you sit in the entire building, you're either going to get bad vertigo and feel like you're gonna fall down, or you're just going to see the visuals of a lifetime in a electronic setting. Like a television screen type setting.
Ben Stiller
Yeah.
Kristen Joy Odley
I mean, it's like surrounding you. And then also there's stuff to do with the seats. They move, they rumble.
Brian Green
Yeah.
Kristen Joy Odley
And there's smoke stuff and whatever. Anyways, it's. It's amazing.
Brian Green
The thing that I think is the biggest technical accomplishment is the hundred thousand plus speakers that are in the building that are directed at every single seat in the same way.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah.
Brian Green
So that you, no matter where you are, can hear, have the exact same audio experience, which is like a live music lover's dream. Because we all know that depending on where you are and what venue it.
Kristen Joy Odley
Is, there's some seats that are better than others for the sound.
Brian Green
Yeah. Like, I kind of know where to sit inside of the State Farm arena in order to have a good experience. I kind of understand if you know in a outdoor venue where you should stand to hear something. Well, the Fox Theater. Exactly. The Fox Theater is one of those few places, I think, where you pretty. You have a pretty good seat no matter what. Unless you're sitting behind a post. But here's the point. The point is that is amazing that this guy had this dream, went a billion dollars over budget and managed to ride it out to bring together one of the most amazing venues or the most amazing venue that has ever been created. And the experience is worth all of the hype. And I think I can't wait to experience. I'm really excited. And to answer you. Yeah, I saw Anima or whatever it is. I saw a bunch of those videos.
Kristen Joy Odley
Like the robot thing coming in and looking and oh my God, I was. I just, I loved it.
Brian Green
It's. Yeah. There. I mean, everybody in the audience was taking a video of this. So that part might have annoyed me a little bit. But there are millions of videos out there. Christine is looking at one right now.
Kristen Joy Odley
It's so cool.
Brian Green
It is so fucking cool. And I had no idea this Anima or whoever it was even existed.
Kristen Joy Odley
Me either.
Brian Green
I thought, I literally thought when I breezed by the article that it was Enya. And I was like, enya, good for them. I Can't believe they're still alive. Let Al making me.
Kristen Joy Odley
No, he's like an Italian American dj.
Brian Green
Yeah. And quite amazing. Anyway, so here's the reason why I even brought EDM up is because EDM saw a 17% increase in global revenue in general, the category of music in live entertainment and, you know, sales and streams and all that $17.5 billion industry right now, some of the largest outdoor shows, some of the largest festivals are edm. When everybody seems to be suffering a little bit. Except for, of course, Mempho, when everybody seems to be suffering a little bit in the live music industry. Electronic dance music is not. But here is a weird thing that is happening. There is now fewer late night overnight clubs to go to, dance clubs to go to than any time in the last 40 years. They're closing at a rapid rate. People do not or are not raving anymore. They're not going overnight, you know, they're not going late night to clubs to see this edm, to see the dance music like they used to in droves. So while everything else is kind of seeing a boost, a boom, including daytime live EDM shows. Yeah, anytime, you know, I see this, they like this. These people in New York have put together this sober rave, the morning sober rave. Have you seen this?
Kristen Joy Odley
I saw that. Yes, yes. Yeah, the silent disco one.
Brian Green
No, this is a different one, but they do have silent disco too. I have a friend who got in on the silent disco thing early. He worked at Simcoe fm, the fashion plate. Remember Chris Martin, the fashion plate? He got in early on, bought into one of those businesses. And every other day he's at a church, he's at a conference, he's at a rave, he's somewhere with those headphones, thousands of them, giving them out to people. He must be killing it. His business must have grown 10x because he's really doing well for himself. But these sober raves, these people on Instagram started inviting people like, you know, they'll invite them the night before to this location the next morning sober morning rave.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah, before you go to work and.
Brian Green
Before they go to work and they go and they dance and then they go to work and probably go, happy to work. You know what I'm saying? You got a little bit of the, you know, you got a little bit of the fuzzies out. Yeah, you got the endorphins going. I would argue that everybody's sober, but, you know, that's just me. You know, I'm sure there's a few.
Kristen Joy Odley
Few people who are still Up.
Brian Green
You're still up from the night before.
Kristen Joy Odley
There's gotta be a few.
Brian Green
Yeah. But when I was in my early 20s, while I admittedly did not do this every night of the week, I used to love to go to those clubs in downtown Atlanta, you know, twice, three times a month, and go listen to, you know, electronic dance music. Did you know that I was, for a while, was an EDM promoter? Did you know this? The many machinations of Brian the Onion.
Kristen Joy Odley
The lives you have lived, it was just appealing.
Brian Green
If you had to put a gravestone with all of my professions on it, it'd be like the Washington Monument.
Kristen Joy Odley
Was this before or after 33 willie?
Brian Green
This was after 33p, but before LA Strada, it was sometime in that weird space right there.
Kristen Joy Odley
Before 33p.
Brian Green
No, after 33p. 33 was when I was like 16 years old. 17 years old, that was. I was a baby then.
Kristen Joy Odley
You went from Eddie Vedder to edm.
Brian Green
That's right. I.
Kristen Joy Odley
Natural transition, Chrissy.
Brian Green
I'm telling you what. It was a weird time to be alive, and Brian was as weird as possible. And I. I think I just see like I'm one of those guys who hops on the trend seven days after it already has peaked and started. You know, buy.
Kristen Joy Odley
I buy.
Brian Green
That's right. I buy Bitcoin at 100,000, it goes back down to 60. You know what I'm saying? Actually, altcoin is one of the only things that I've predicted correctly. But anyway, I met a couple of guys at a restaurant that I was working at, and one of them was. Likened himself a D, A DJ back when Gay Raj. He likened himself. I'll say likened himself a DJ because he used to put CDs of mixed music together and we used to give them out.
Kristen Joy Odley
And I helped mixtape.
Brian Green
I helped promote some of his shows.
Kristen Joy Odley
How did that go?
Brian Green
It didn't go well because not many people showed up. And then one time I put together a fashion show, EDM concert. And the only thing I got out of it was to see some girl's boobs because she changed in front of me. That was the only thing I got. No money. Yeah, it was worth it. It was down at this Buckhead club, but for a minute there, I saw.
Kristen Joy Odley
The EDM you likened yourself to.
Brian Green
I likened myself to an EDM EDM promoter. It was fun while it lasted. And guess what the name of the company was that I created.
Kristen Joy Odley
Oh, God, I can only imagine.
Brian Green
Jam Land Productions.
Kristen Joy Odley
Oh, Jam.
Brian Green
Jam Land Productions goes right along with that edm.
Kristen Joy Odley
Yeah.
Brian Green
EDM Flavor Presented by Jam Land Presented by Jam Land Productions DJ for Brains.
Kristen Joy Odley
And the cone of Insecurity and the.
Brian Green
Cone of Insecurity and starring and on the turntables, the world's lamest 54 year old white man. We had this guy, he was a hippie. He was like a way hippie and he was very not smart. He was like, his brain was fried. He would be like, huh? And he sold cocaine for like a living. That's what he did. But he decided that he was gonna get in on Jam Land Productions, that he could do the turntables. And he got up one night. He got up one night last. There was no one in the club. It was like a Monday night. A Monday night, Chrissy. It was like a Monday night. It was the only night we could convince anybody to give us a night. And so we put together a fashion show that didn't work. We had DJ Shit for Brains play that didn't work. There was like seven people in the club. Most of them were employees that were all, you know what I'm saying? Like employees that weren't working. It was really terrible. But the guy promised us a month. So on the fourth week, the guy who we at the dj, whatever, who was going to spin, who actually probably could have brought 10 or 15 people into the door because he kind of had been doing this for a while. He decided mysteriously to cancel. He was like, I'm sorry guys, can't do it. And so we got this guy, Pete the hippie, the 54 year old, long haired, tie dye, wearing sandals covered. I mean he wore sandals everywhere. There was no place else to go with it. We needed somebody. And literally the guy brought a tape player, plugged it in and started playing live Grateful Dead child. And he tried to spit a record on top of it.
Kristen Joy Odley
At least nobody was there.
Brian Green
Hey, listen, he was being creative.
Kristen Joy Odley
I'll give you ruin your reputation.
Brian Green
So we got like, so we got for this we got like 20% of the door, which equals zero dollars every night. Every, all four of those nights. And then we also got a hundred dollar bar credit which I would burn through in like a first hour, right? Because I'd be buying drinks for girls or were, you know, I just was.
Kristen Joy Odley
Like around on me. Hey, I was like, I'm with Jam Land.
Brian Green
Yeah. Hey, Jam Land Productions. Put it on the Jam Land tab. You should have seen these bartenders. They were like, I've seen a million of you and you're making me work on a Monday night for no money. And you're not gonna tip me. How do I know that? Because you can't afford to buy drinks. I would come in and I'd be wearing like a Hoya Barra, like a Cuban short sleeve shirt, middle of winter, pants that were too big. Because I couldn't afford. Yes, Birkenstocks. I'd come walking in like, Mr. Club. And I'd be like, get the lighting on. Where's the speaker? Who got that? Are the girls ready?
Kristen Joy Odley
Smoke machine?
Brian Green
Yeah. Do we have any dancing girls? Where's the smoke machine? I'd go in there. Like, I took charge of the place. One time I walked back in the office of the club.
Kristen Joy Odley
Oh, I bet they love that.
Brian Green
And the guy goes like this. The manager goes like this. He just wagged his finger.
Kristen Joy Odley
No, no, no.
Brian Green
And I go, oh, I just had a question. And he was like, I'll be out in a minute. This is for management here. Management. You're just a shithead that's making us no money. And so I was flying around the club, talking to seven, you know, trying to make him, you know, I was the guy just doing nothing, actually, is probably what I was doing. Sweating that. I had got four nights and none of them had worked out. I was so bad at this.
Kristen Joy Odley
Oh, wow.
Brian Green
And you know, once the guy plugged in the tape player to play his old Grateful Dead, I just. I didn't even ask for another San Francisco 78. San Francisco 78 plus Enya. We're gonna put it together. Wiki Wiki. Drop the acid. So let me explain that. Once that guy got on there and he actually tried to mix the Grateful Dead live shows into With a beam, it was all over. It was game over. The manager came over to me and he was like, what is this? And I go, well, listen, he's got kind of this new style. It's like a little bit. He's trying to mix the jamming with the. And he's like, I. I don't think this works, man. And I was like, well, what do you want me to do? I mean, you know, we had our guy cancel on us, so do you mind if he just kind of plays it out?
Kristen Joy Odley
He just. Noodles.
Brian Green
The club closed at 2am this guy maybe started at 10:30pm the club mysteriously had to close at midnight, I'm sure. But to be fair, there was no one there to close the club with. Not a one person, not one. Everybody scattered. The seven people that were there, scattered. Listen, I don't claim to be a business genius. Just look at the commercial break. But I Will tell you this. At least I've tried. Okay, you have.
Kristen Joy Odley
You've dabbled.
Brian Green
At least I've tried. What's that?
Kristen Joy Odley
Dippity dabbled.
Brian Green
Oh, man, did I dippity dabble. Hey, man, can that hundred dollars go toward cocaine?
Kristen Joy Odley
I've got a credit.
Brian Green
Yeah. Do you have any coke? I got a bar credit. Can I trans for that to. The guy at the end of the bar who's clear is selling cocaine. Is that okay with you? How about giving me a tip, asshole, and then we'll talk. All right, bro, don't get all upset. Another Bud Light. That's the other thing. The club guy drinking but running around with a Bud Light in his hand. What an asshole I was.
Kristen Joy Odley
You did have your Cuban shirt on.
Brian Green
True. I did have my Cuban shirt on. I've been a real asshole in my life. That's what I'm coming to realize. I'm kind of a jerk off. When you get older, you realize you.
Kristen Joy Odley
Gotta try this, try that.
Brian Green
Yeah. When you get older, you realize that all those things you say about yourself, they're true. All right, well, we'll try again tomorrow. Why not?
Kristen Joy Odley
Yes, we will.
Brian Green
Gustavo. Gonna come in and make an appearance next week. Don't miss out on it. TC Bill and TCB in five. Infomercial for you on Tuesday. If we had guests lined up, but at least one of them is canceled because of the wildfire.
Kristen Joy Odley
So I hope everybody is okay.
Brian Green
Yeah, we didn't get a chance to talk about that. But I hope everybody's doing okay out in Los Angeles. Our agents out there, people that we know. So God bless. I hope every. That's crazy. That is apocalyptic. That is apocalyptic.
Kristen Joy Odley
I know. It's so scary.
Brian Green
I can deal with ice and snow, fire. That's scary. I don't want anything to do with that. So God bless you. If you're out in Los Angeles, let us know you're okay. Dial us up 212-4333. TCB, 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, job ideas for Brian. What's next? Right. We'll take them all right there at the phone number. You can also leave us a voicemail if you're so brave. CCB, podcast.com. that's where you find all the audio, all the video. It's all there, right there on the website. So if you're a browser kind of person, feel free to browse. Go, browse.
Kristen Joy Odley
Except the Naked Attraction one.
Brian Green
Except the Naked Attraction one. Which way you. Maybe that's where we should post it is on the website with a. Like, you must be 18 to view this kind of thing, so. But don't mind our spelling. One of my brothers just texted me. I was looking at. Did you see that? The. Did you see. Did my brother text you too?
Kristen Joy Odley
No, I just saw it when I looked at the show today.
Brian Green
Oh, you did?
Kristen Joy Odley
Like, did they mean that? I don't think they meant that.
Brian Green
Oh, you mean on the website?
Kristen Joy Odley
No, like on our podcast thing. I'll tell you.
Brian Green
Okay. Anyway, no, my brother was pointing out a typo in our actual website. He's like, oh, I think you misspelled this. We'll get it right. It's only been up there for a year. We'll get it right eventually. Don't worry about it. All right, Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB on Tick Tock. I'm wondering where Pete went. Whatever happened?
Kristen Joy Odley
Well, I was gonna ask you. Did you ever see what happened to him?
Brian Green
I know. I know what happened to Pete. He actually bought Jam Land Productions. He bought it from us for 500 and a gram of cocaine and YouTube.com commercial break for every single episode of the commercial Break now on video. So go ahead and check that out. We certainly would appreciate it. Subscribe like on your favorite videos. Do us a favor. All right, Chrissy. That's all I can do for now.
Kristen Joy Odley
I think so.
Brian Green
But I'll tell you that I love you.
Kristen Joy Odley
I love you.
Brian Green
Best to you and best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we will say, we do say, and we must say goodbye. This cold and flu season, Instacart is here to help deliver all your sick day, essentially, whether you're in prevention mode and need vitamins, hand sanitizer, and that lemon tea your nana swears by, or you're in healing mode and need medicine, soup, and a lot more tissues, simply download the Instacart app to get sick day supplies that reinvigorate or relieve. Delivered in as fast as 30 minutes, plus enjoy. Zero delivery fees on your first three orders. Excludes restaurant orders, service fees and terms apply.
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Brian Green
I gotta get some cocaine. Gotta be greedy.
Episode Summary: JamLand Productions Release Date: January 10, 2025
In this vibrant episode of The Commercial Break, hosts Bryan Green and Kristen Joy Odley delve into a range of topics from unpredictable winter weather in Atlanta to the complexities of modern relationships and the influence of tech billionaires on society. Joined by guest Ben Stiller, the conversation offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful critiques.
The episode kicks off with Bryan expressing his frustration over the inconsistent and often inaccurate winter weather predictions in Atlanta. He shares personal stories from past severe winter storms, highlighting the chaos and inconvenience caused by unexpected snow and ice.
Bryan recounts incidents such as being stranded at Georgia Southern University during an 18-inch snowstorm in the 90s and enduring power outages during the 2002-2003 ice storm. These experiences underscore his skepticism towards meteorologists and their forecasting accuracy.
Kristen adds her perspective, emphasizing the often-overestimated impact of weather forecasts and the resultant panic it induces among residents.
Amidst the weather talk, Bryan opens up about his relationship struggles, particularly his on-and-off relationship with Astrid. He reflects on the challenges of giving relationship advice while grappling with his own issues.
Kristen humorously interjects, highlighting Bryan's self-awareness about his relationship patterns.
Their candid discussion provides listeners with relatable insights into maintaining friendships and romantic relationships amidst personal flaws and societal pressures.
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Bryan's impassioned critique of influential tech figures like Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos. He discusses the concentration of wealth and power, the ethical implications of billionaires' actions, and the lack of accountability in corporate practices.
Bryan emphasizes the mistreatment of service workers and the ethical responsibility of billionaires towards their employees and society at large.
He also touches upon privacy concerns related to big tech companies and the invasive nature of data collection practices.
Kristen echoes Bryan's sentiments, acknowledging the widespread influence of these tech giants and the resultant societal implications.
Shifting gears, the conversation transitions to Bryan's past experiences as an EDM promoter. He reminisces about attempts to organize events, the challenges faced, and the lessons learned from unsuccessful ventures.
He humorously recounts organizing fashion shows and concerts that struggled to attract attendees, highlighting the unpredictability of the entertainment industry.
Despite the setbacks, Bryan appreciates the growth of the EDM scene, particularly the rise of sober raves and innovative event formats like silent discos.
Kristen reflects on the evolution of live music and the enduring appeal of EDM, acknowledging its resilience despite changing trends.
As the episode winds down, Bryan shares his excitement about technological advancements in live entertainment, specifically highlighting the Sphere venue and its immersive audio-visual experience.
He invites listeners to engage with the show through social media and upcoming events, wrapping up with a blend of humor and heartfelt appreciation.
Kristen and Bryan conclude the episode by reflecting on their journey, the lessons learned, and the continuous pursuit of growth both personally and professionally.
Notable Quotes:
This episode of The Commercial Break offers a compelling mix of personal stories, societal critiques, and reflections on the ever-evolving landscape of live entertainment. Bryan and Kristen's candid discussions provide listeners with both entertainment and thoughtful commentary on contemporary issues.