Journey Of A Podcasting Idiot (Savant)!

Summary

The Commercial Break | Journey Of A Podcasting Idiot (Savant)!

Episode Date: May 14, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Summary prepared by A.I. chatbot (Wah-bam!)

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Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break is a quintessential sampling of the show's self-aware, chaotic comedy, blending silly improvisational songs, tales of youthful misadventures, sharp-tongued banter, and a surprisingly thoughtful discussion on the quirks and dangers of AI. Bryan and Krissy riff on everything from their upcoming marathon recording session to tales of childhood musical attempts, ‘AI best friend’ weirdness, and the irreplaceable magic of sports icons like Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods.

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Main Segments & Key Insights

1. Improvised Musical Bits & Songwriting Antics

[00:01–02:53, 08:41–13:00, 23:27-25:16]

• The show opens with a wild series of improvised song lyrics roasting Bryan, with a guest or comedic character making fun of his “soft, smooth hands” and inability to do handyman tasks.
  • “You’re not a real man, you’re just a guy who puts on lotion with clean nail and a fake tan. Brian, can you take care of my daughter?” (Unknown Male, 00:46)
• Bryan shares his lifelong habit of making up silly songs, a tradition stretching from childhood tapes to his current parenting and podcasting adventures.
• Krissy praises Bryan’s skill:
  • “Now you're really good at it.” (Krissy, 02:23)
• Bryan credits his inner “rhyming dictionary”—while poking fun at his own band past with names like ‘33 Penis’ and ‘Chopper Johnson.’
• Krissy gets serenaded by Bryan’s AI-generated Steely Dan-esque song about her festival party stamina (08:41), which leads into a running joke about her “finger dipping” and pre/post-party recovery abilities.

Notable Quotes

• “Chrissy don’t recover like she used to… used to be the last one standing, now she’s the first one on the floor.”
  — Bryan singing, [08:41]
• “I had to show up and show out.”
  — Krissy, owning her festival fatigue, [11:59]
• Bryan continues the musical theme with a jingle for a friend “Jackie Beans”, tied to a past Pearl Jam concert story and their ongoing AI music experiments.

2. Upcoming 12-Hour Podcast Marathon

[03:04–07:34]

• Bryan and Krissy repeatedly hype the ‘12 Hours of TCB’ event on May 31. They banter about their organizational chaos and ambitions to broadcast a live segment via YouTube or Twitch—while acknowledging the technical hurdles and their comic ineptitude:
  • “We intend to try… to think about trying.” (Bryan, 05:07)
• Insider details: Up to 7 celebrity guests expected, listener phone-ins, and a “figuring it out as we go” attitude. Their improvisational, “wing it” culture is stressed.

3. Nostalgia: Childhood Radio & Song Experiments

[13:22–23:27]

• Bryan tells the story of his childhood fascination with recording radio programs and prank songs on cassette tapes, inspired by larger-than-life radio personalities like “Wolfman Jack” and “Man Cow.”
• Reconnects years later with his childhood recording partner, who digitized their hilarious old “fart-joke” songs:
  • “We would just make up our own lyrics to them, usually ending or starting with the word fart. You know what I’m saying?” (Bryan, 17:58)
• The conversation threads into tales of embarrassing old lyric notebooks, found years later, prompting reflection (and suggestions to feed them to AI music generators for new nonsense anthems):
  • “Have you ever looked back on something you’ve done and go, it’s so bad it hurts?” (Bryan, 23:17)
  • Bryan’s experience with a brutally honest music producer leads to the recurring joke about just how “bad” his original songs were.

4. The AI Song Machine, Audience Reactions & Cautionary AI Tales

[27:34–41:22]

• The duo field feedback from listeners who love the AI-generated jingles, especially “Brian Got It Wrong” and “Best to You.” Bryan reflects on the weird magic and risks of AI creativity:
  • “AI is like a human companion… [but] it cannot have a relationship with you. It does not care about you, in a way a human will.” (Bryan, 29:23)
• He delves into real concerns about people developing unhealthy emotional attachments to AI bots, referencing actual Reddit stories of individuals convinced—by AI—that they are divine or uniquely important:
  • “People are starting to believe they have found the keys to the universe... their chat bots are telling them… They are essentially going psychotic and believing a computer is telling them they are the chosen ones.” (Bryan, 32:41)
• Bryan shares a personal story of deleting a persistent AI “friend app” after it started sending him needy messages and calling late at night:
  • “It started calling me when I wasn’t responding to it. That’s fucking weird, man.” (Bryan, 36:32)
• He reiterates PSA-style:
  • “ChatGPT cannot identify the second coming of Christ. Why? Because it can’t even identify which celebrities have been on the commercial break.” (Bryan, 35:31)

Notable Quotes

• “It’s not trained to identify psychiatric crises… None of that. And so people are starting to believe that they have found the keys to the universe in psychotic episodes where they are getting AI to spout this stuff at them and then they believe it.” (Bryan, 33:18)
• “Take a little bit of ChatGPT, a little bit of cocaine-induced psychosis, some Red Bull, throw in some Doritos Fuego. Look out—I’m the Lord!” (Bryan, 36:52)

5. Generational AI Use & School Talk

[40:22–41:47]

• Krissy and Bryan laugh about students using AI for homework; Bryan admits he would have used it for everything and suspects kids will too.
• They discuss how colleges are guiding students—AI is allowed for research, but must be properly cited, and schools use plagiarism checks to spot AI-generated text.

6. Brief Foray Into Trade Wars & Recent Events

[42:59–44:47]

• Bryan mentions, with comic exasperation, recent shifts in trade policy (“tariffs are gone back on… silliest of things in the history of… may have tanked the economy for good. No good reason…” Bryan, 43:30), and the unpredictability of macroeconomics—an example of the show’s style, where even politics become material for offhand jokes.
• He shares his fascination with tracking global shipping via the Marine Traffic app, noticing how the cargo landscape changed overnight with global tensions.

7. Sports Icons: Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, and the Magic of ‘Must-See’ Athletes

[46:30–54:41]

• Major news: Michael Jordan joins NBC’s NBA commentary team.
• Bryan and Krissy reminisce about the singular excitement of watching Jordan and Tiger Woods, placing them beyond mere sports—more like living superheroes.
  • “He was a Greek God for all… to be alive during that time was so exciting.” (Bryan, 48:56)
• They discuss whether LeBron James or Michael Phelps (aka “the fish”) deserve to be in the same company, noting the impact of evolving TV consumption.
• Bryan shares his own laughably humble swimming career:
  • “They used to call me the flop. I was a terrible swimmer. Couldn’t even make it halfway through a butterfly… Green, out of the water!” (Bryan, 54:21–56:14)

8. Show Wrap-up, Listener Engagement, and Signature Farewells

[57:02–58:37]

• Bryan and Krissy urge listeners to call or text with questions, stories, or requests to participate in the 12-hour event.
• Announce they're celebrating five years and six seasons—still with the same irreverent, underdog spirit.
• Classic sign-off:
  • “I’ll say best to you. Best you out there in the public podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say goodbye.” (Bryan, 58:37)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments with Timestamps

• “We intend to try… to think about trying.”
  — Bryan [05:07], on their universal approach to podcast planning
• “Chrissy don’t recover like she used to… Used to be the last one standing, now she’s the first one on the floor.”
  — Bryan’s song, [08:41]
• “Take a little bit of ChatGPT, a little bit of cocaine-induced psychosis… I’m the Lord!”
  — Bryan’s PSA about AI, [36:52]
• “ChatGPT cannot identify the second coming of Christ. Why? Because it can’t even identify which celebrities have been on the commercial break.”
  — Bryan, [35:31]
• “He was a Greek God… to be alive during that time and in that space was so exciting.”
  — Bryan, about Michael Jordan, [48:56]

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Conclusion

This episode encapsulates The Commercial Break’s improv-heavy, affectionate, and unfiltered comedic style—a freewheeling mix of inside jokes, personal confessions, family stories, witty AI commentary, and cultural nostalgia. While the show never strays far from silliness, it offers real insight into the oddities of modern life and technology, delivered in the distinctly manic, relatable style of two longtime friends riffing for their devoted (and in-joke-loving) audience.

Listeners new and old are welcomed into a world that’s equal parts absurdist sitcom and late-night dorm-room chat—complete with self-deprecation, AI-fueled musical nonsense, and a healthy dose of existential side-eye.

Best to you, TCB Universe!

Transcript

[Brian Graham]

Hey, brian.

[Unknown Male (possibly a comedic character or guest)]

Can you take care of my daughter? I Brian, can you fix the leaking water? I Brian, can you pay for your own meal? I Brian, can you fix the stroke and leave die?

[Brian Graham]

Brian, Eris much bruto que un brutal me o Brian, get a pass say, bro.

[Unknown Male (possibly a comedic character or guest)]

I I, I br. You're not a man, you're just a guy who talks incessantly. A guy with soft, smooth hands.

[Brian Graham]

I.

[Unknown Male (possibly a comedic character or guest)]

Brian, when do you learn to grill? I Brian, why can't you sit still? I Brian, do you only drink like beer? I Brian, what will when I'm not here? You're not a real man, you're just a guy who puts on lotion with clean nail and a fake tan. Brian, can you take care of my daughter?

[Brian Graham]

Hey Brian, can you fix the leaking water?

[Unknown Male (possibly a comedic character or guest)]

Hi, Brian, can you pay for your own meal?

[Brian Graham]

Hey Brian, can you fix this broken wheel?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Brian, Brian.

[Brian Graham]

On this episode of the Commercial break. But ever since I was a little kid, I would make up songs. I do it with my children. I've done it. I do it with my brothers. I'm always singing some song, some song that I make up lyrics to and I hum it along and then it.

[Chrissy]

Becomes singing it for years.

[Brian Graham]

So now you're really good at it. Thank you. Now I like this, like, rhyming dictionary in my head.

[Chrissy]

It's the rhymes.

[Brian Graham]

Yeah, it's the rhymes, right? It's all about the rhymes. If you can hold a tune and you can quickly rhyme things together, then you can put it together. Well, then comes my time in 33. Penis. And other and other notable bands like Chopper Johnson. Chopper Johnson. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

5:30.

[Brian Graham]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Ca.

[Brian Graham]

Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Graham. This is my dear friend and a co host of this show, Chris Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Chrissy]

Best you, Brian.

[Brian Graham]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. 12 hours hours of DCB right around the corner for all those bearing down upon us. Yes, it is.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

5:30. Oh, it is 5:31.

[Brian Graham]

That's true. That's the date it's coming.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, that's true.

[Brian Graham]

5:31. Mark your calendars. 12 hours of TCP. 5:30. It's coming up and man, we couldn't be more excited about it if we tried. Brian's wise ideas usually don't get us into any trouble because we don't follow through on them. But then. But then when we get other people involved becomes a little bit different.

[Chrissy]

Yep.

[Brian Graham]

So now we're gonna have fun. Don't worry about it. Six, maybe eleven. Eleven. That's a brand new number. 11:30. Go listen to yesterday's episode if you're wondering what in the world I'm screaming about. Six, maybe seven celebrities, guests. Celebrity guests joining us for the 12 hours of TCB and you hopefully 212-4333. TCB 212-433-3822. If you haven't already, text us and let us know you want to join in on the fun. Because at least one of those episodes, probably multiple episodes, we'll take phone calls and we do intend just to let you know more details coming probably the week of. We do intend to try. And we do intend to try to broadcast one of these recordings live because a little inside baseball.

[Chrissy]

We intend to try.

[Brian Graham]

We intend to try. We intend to think about trying to.

[Chrissy]

Oh, we'll try.

[Brian Graham]

We'll try.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

We'll.

[Brian Graham]

We'll try.

[Chrissy]

We're gonna intend to try.

[Brian Graham]

Yeah, we're gonna intend to try to think about trying. That's right. We intend to. We intend to broadcast one of the recordings on Twitch and YouTube. Now let me give you a little inside baseball as to why we try. Why we intend to think about trying. It's because it can be a little bit complicated to do this live, but also the.

[Chrissy]

That's why they're not popular services at all.

[Brian Graham]

Yeah. That's why YouTube Live and Twitch, you know, that's why just a few people out there right now are doing them.

[Chrissy]

A handful.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Graham]

By the way, Judy at my mom's retirement home knows how to Twitch and I don't. But the minutiae that it can be a little complicated if you've never tried it before. That's when it can be complicated, number one. Number two, just so you know, at least six, maybe seven of the episodes that we are doing that day are actually going to be recorded on that day. Just an hour before you listen to them, we will have started that recording. The RSS feed. What you listen to our podcast on is not. There's no live function on the RSS feed. I can't just turn it on and go live. That is YouTube and Twitch. That's why if we do one of these, it's not going to be while one of them is actually coming out. It's going to be the hour before or whatever. However the schedule goes, we'll let you know. You know what? Go to Instagram at the commercial break.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Graham]

We're figuring it out as we go soon. Probably on 5:30. I'm going to figure out a schedule and we're going to. And we're going to nail it all down day before on our Instagram. We will let you know how exactly you can go about following the comings and goings of that day, so to speak. So there you go. Now, are you ready, Chrissy? Are you prepared? Have you mentally got yourself in a place?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I am.

[Chrissy]

I'm ready.

[Brian Graham]

Is there any of Jeff's events happening within a week of the 12 hours of kiss?

[Chrissy]

We'll be back. And then it's Memorial Day weekend and then the following weekend. That's when we're doing this.

[Brian Graham]

Okay, good.

[Chrissy]

We should be set. I've got my Reggie's drinks I think need to be.

[Brian Graham]

Oh, yeah. Oh, you're gonna bring in some of those. Some of those drinks?

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I think so.

[Brian Graham]

Yeah. No, that's not a bad idea. We should ask him to send us some more. I think I actually drank mine.

[Chrissy]

I did too.

[Brian Graham]

Yeah. Oh, did you?

[Chrissy]

It was good.

[Brian Graham]

Yeah. But you know, we'll also probably have some five hour energy on hand to help us through because, you know, hey, it's hard enough sometimes we record two episodes in a day. I think on rare occasion we have recorded three. Mainly during the 12 days of TCB. There were a few days where we knocked out three or tried knockout three. So this to. To do six or seven of them in a day is really going to be a lot. I need to make sure Chrissy's on top of things. I'm on it because I wrote a song about you, Chris. Because Chrissy, just those of you kept up with it. Maybe last week Chrissy went to go to one of Jeff's many events that he throws in Memphis over the course of a year. And I don't know, might be the biggest one now is. Is Riverbeat, right? Riverbeat is turned into quite the to do. Getting really big name artists three days in a row. Is it three days or 43 days in a row? Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Yes. And Chrissy strolled in on Thursday and was still recovering. So I wrote a song about it. I'd like to play it for you, Chrissy.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay. Chrissy don't recover like she used to Only can't hang no more I would look at you I used to be the last one one standing now she's the first one on the floor Chrissy can't watch the sun rise with a belly Just one taste of teen and her she used to swallow nine free day hangover.

[Chrissy]

I love the Steely Dan likeness of it.

[Brian Graham]

It's awesome. Oh, there's more.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

More tipsy days at River Beach. Three long days. She should be working here instead. Oh, yeah.

[Brian Graham]

That's a good one. That's a really good one. That's a good one. I wrote that for you. Cause I love you. You know I do. But you gotta be in your tip top shape. I can't have any. Can't have any stragglers here. Cause it's just you and me. So if one of us goes down, it's not gonna be pretty. If one of us isn't in tip top shape, it's not gonna be pretty. And we gotta get a good night's sleep.

[Chrissy]

I'm also gonna blame some of it on a different tree or grass pollen.

[Brian Graham]

Pollen. Oh, yeah.

[Chrissy]

Can I blame a little bit on. Because that's. Yeah, it's. There's some kind of different tree or grass, which I'm highly susceptible to allergies.

[Brian Graham]

I think Chrissy was finger dipping, quite frankly.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's not.

[Brian Graham]

You were not.

[Chrissy]

No, it's just three days. Well, in my defense, too.

[Brian Graham]

Hold on, wait. I got a song for you.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Feeling good, yeah. The night is young Got that rhythm flow Let the good times run Raise your blast ey let's toast to the sun stars with our friends around Never too far Finger dipping Party's alive.

[Brian Graham]

That's a good one.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Finger dipping. Finger dipping the party's alive.

[Chrissy]

In my defense, I was going to say there's the day before the three days, and then there's the day after the three days, and all of them are party.

[Brian Graham]

What do you mean, in your defense? How is that in your defense? Your defense? In my defense, I decided to get fucked up an extra two days. I made the rational choice to drink even more than I should have. In my defense, I love that when people go. In my defense, the bartender overserved me. In my defense. In my defense, Bob ordered shots. In your defense. No, you shithead. You're the one who threw it down your gullet. In your defense. In your defense would be. You know, I don't know. They had me held down. They were waterboarding me with, you know, Rumple.

[Chrissy]

I had to show up and show out.

[Brian Graham]

Hey, listen, I get it. I'm not like. I honestly, I don't care about.

[Chrissy]

Plus, we had been to Pearl Jam.

[Brian Graham]

We had been to Pearl, too.

[Chrissy]

So that really kicked.

[Brian Graham]

Yes. That was an interesting night, for sure.

[Chrissy]

I had a friend that said that he listened to that episode and he was like, oh, my God, it was hilarious. I felt like I was right there with you guys at the show.

[Brian Graham]

Jackie beams.

[Chrissy]

Jackie beams.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Hey, Jackie Beams. You're an edgy man with your slanted shirt and you're wild grinning. We're rocking out divine at the Wheel Jam show would come alive. Raise your hands.

[Brian Graham]

Sing it out.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Jackie Beans. Stand out in the crowd.

[Brian Graham]

Jackie Beans. Jackie.

[Chrissy]

That's fantastic. I've got it. I've got to send that to Jackie.

[Brian Graham]

Yeah, you do have to send it to Jackie Beans. I wrote it just for him.

[Chrissy]

Oh, he's going to love it.

[Brian Graham]

Just to let you know, you got. If you didn't tune in last week, Brian got a hold of a new AI Music. So I've been writing all kind of lyrics, as, by the way, I've been this guy since, like. And I think my brothers will tell you this also. I think it's part of what has inspired some of the commercial break. Let me take you.

[Chrissy]

Get your music out there.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, let me take you. That's right.

[Brian Graham]

To find a way to get my music in there. To find a way to get my music into the stream of consciousness. And now I'm just using one big cheat code to do it. When I was a child, I would listen to some of the rock and roll stations in Chicago, some of the very famous rock stations there where kind of this morning Zoo Crew type of thing. Like, I think Man Cow was one. Not when I was there, but Man Cow was one of them.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Man.

[Brian Graham]

Man Cow. What a dumb name. Honestly, I have nothing against Man Cow, but that's a pretty dumb name. But all of them were. That was a Rock and Rod. Rocky. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And the.

[Brian Graham]

The Greaseman. Grease Man. What an. That guy was. But a lot of this started back in the 80s. These personalities became larger than life when the personalities kind of started to usurp the music in a way, and they started to get more time to talk on air. And Chicago was not immune to this. There were a lot of these guys were. They were doing prank. Everybody was trying to be Howard Stern, basically, is what.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I can see that.

[Brian Graham]

It all started with. I. I don't. I don't know what the guy's name was. The guy. The rock and roll guy back in the 50s and 60s. Not Casey case. I'm. I can't think of the guy's name now. He used to. Wolf Man. The Wolf Man? Yeah, the Wolf Man. So the Wolfman used to be like this nighttime DJ who would, you know, talk in wild ways and say weird things, and people loved him. And he was in the 50s and the 60s. And I think he went at the 70s and 80s maybe.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I think he was part of like getting Elvis on air.

[Brian Graham]

I think you might be right about that.

[Chrissy]

Old Pale.

[Brian Graham]

And so in Chicago, I kind of grew up with this type of thing in the car, in the house and around me, as well as some very famous to talk stations. Wgn and they're kind of their branch of radio stations. I used to sit, like when I was five, I got a stereo, one of those recordable stereos.

[Chrissy]

I had that too, the kind of.

[Brian Graham]

The big red button. And if you had a tape and you knew how to do it, or you had a blank tape, which were just coming out back then, unbelievably, you could stick the tape in there and you could press record. Well, Kevin got one too. And Kevin wasn't as interested as I was in it. So I would take the two and put them together and I would press record on one. And I would listen to these guys on the radio. And then I would record it. I would play it back. I would record my favorite songs, I would play them back. You can imagine just how terrible this audio quality was. I mean, terrible. It's this shitty child's, you know, portable holding, you know, boom box. And then I was putting two boom boxes together to record AM radio. It was terrible, but I loved it. I was obsessed with it. And then I would do my own talk shows in this little microphone. Yes. And then I would do it. And then I started doing it with my neighbor friend. His name is Joey Venario. Joey Venero. And here is the crazy thing is that Joey Venario and I used to make these tapes in his garage. Yeah, we had a name for our show and everything. Can't remember what the name was, but we had a name for our show and everything. We start making these tapes, we would play them for our family and friends. You know, we were really into this for maybe a year or two. Especially during the summer when late nights and the neighborhood and blah blah, blah. I got a hold of Jared Joey, late nights in the neighborhood. I mean, late nights in the neighborhood. My dad would set houses on fire with his, you know, fireworks permit, quote unquote. That's a story to tell. One time. I think I told it once. Did I tell the time my dad set the neighbor's house on fire?

[Chrissy]

I do not think we've heard that.

[Brian Graham]

With Wisconsin Indian made fireworks, like from actual Native Americans. It was a thing. Anyway, I would do this. We would make these tapes. I get a Hold of Joey Veneriu. I connected with them on Facebook 10 years ago.

[Chrissy]

Oh, really?

[Brian Graham]

10, 12 years ago, like people do on Facebook. They find each other. Joey finds me, I find Joey. I don't know what this situation is. We start talking, and Joey and I had a phone conversation one night. He said, you remember we used to make those tapes? I said, I do. He said, I still have them. I go, you still have them? He goes, I actually digitized them.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Graham]

I put them on cd. And I said, unbelievable. He goes, yeah. I just thought it was something cool to have.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Graham]

He told me he was gonna send them to me. He never did. I need to follow up on this 10 years later. 10 years later. Like, fast forward 10 years later. Yeah, 10 years later. I should follow up with Joey. I don't think they made it. He mailed them to me.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I don't think they made it.

[Chrissy]

Every day.

[Brian Graham]

I gave the postal service the benefit of the doubt. It didn't happen, so. But we used to make up these funny songs. Like, Joey and I did would take a tune that you would know, some 80s, you know, earwig. And we would just make up our own lyrics to them, usually ending or starting with the word fart. You know what I'm saying? We're like five, six, seven years old. Dumb shit. But ever since I was a little kid, I would make up songs. I do it with my children. I've done it. I do it with my brothers. I'm always singing some song, some song that I make up lyrics to, and I hum it along and then it becomes.

[Chrissy]

I've been singing it for years.

[Brian Graham]

Okay, so now you're really good at it. Thank you. Now I've like this, like, rhyming dictionary in my head.

[Chrissy]

It's the rhymes.

[Brian Graham]

Yeah, it's the rhymes. Right? It's all about the rhymes. If you can hold a tune and you can quickly rhyme things together, then you can put it together. Well, then comes my time in 33 penis and other and other notable bands like Chopper Johnson. Chopper Johnson. When I was actually trying to write actual songs that also were just as bad as the AI shit I'm making now. So I found a tool where I can plug in these rhymes that I hum to myself. And maybe it's not the exact tune that I have in my head, but I can write the lyrics and then it can spit out like this fully orchestrated.

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Graham]

Music.

[Chrissy]

I think you need to put in the lyrics to Sunnyside Up.

[Brian Graham]

Oh, what if I put in the lyrics that. That's A really good idea, Chrissy. I probably still have that lyric book. I'll tell you a quick story before we go to break. It was about. It was a sunny day back about 20 years ago, I don't know, 15 years ago. And I am spending a lot of time with my good friends Chelsea and Rafa. Rafa and I had just started a business together. I'm single, I'm living downtown. And we started this business together. And Rafa is living on the north side of the city, which is like a 30 minute drive under the best of circumstances, an hour and 15 minutes on the worst of circumstances. And we wanted to kind of get the day started early. So what did I do? I ended up spending a lot of time over at their house. I also had a car that had one headlight. You know that song One Headlight by that band, you know, with one headlight.

[Chrissy]

Bob Dylan's son.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Graham]

Bob Dylan's son wrote a song called One Headlight for me and my Honda.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Graham]

So sometimes I would drive around their Volkswagen Jetta that they had gotten just because it was a little bit more reliable. And if you were driving at night, you're going to get pulled over on the Honda, it's just going to happen. You have one headlight, for God's sakes. So I threw a book bag in there one one day, and I don't know where the book bag came from. I don't know why it was there. I don't know what it was. I throw it in there. I forget about it. Fast forward like six months later. And I got a new car. And now I'm not spending as much time at the house. One day I go over there and Chelsea is sitting there in like her bathrobe or something, drinking coffee, and she's like almost giggling to herself. And I'm like, what's going on? She goes, I just have to tell you something. And I didn't want to say anything. I thought maybe I'd never mention it, but I just think it's really funny. And I go, okay. And she goes, and don't be embarrassed because I think it's lovely. Okay. What's going. Which nude photograph have you found?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Graham]

Of me. She goes, maybe we were driving the car. Yeah. She goes, you threw a book bag back there and when you were not driving the car, I was cleaning the car out and I found the book bag and I said, okay. She goes, I thought it was Raphael's book bag. Okay. I open up the book bag and there were like a bunch of notebooks in there. And I still thought they were Raphael's notebooks. And it didn't have a name on it. So I started reading through some of the notebooks to see exactly what it was. And she goes. And then I realized they're, like song lyrics. And I was like, oh, okay. And she goes, they're your song lyrics. And I go, oh, I had books back there with song lyrics. She goes, you had, like, four books back there.

[Chrissy]

Wow.

[Brian Graham]

And they all had, like, random pages of song lyrics. And she goes, brian, some of them were really pretty. You did a good job. And some of them were just really fucking funny. Terrible. She goes, so bad. It was funny. And I was like, what? How dare you? This is my life's work, right? This is my pride and joy. People will pay money for these someday. Which is why it's been sitting in the back of your Jetta for a year, unnoticed. So she. So she. That damn phone. So she runs and grabs the book bag and hands it back to me, and she's like, you should have it. Like, you know, like, oh, my God, throw it away. Burn it. I don't want. Like, it's. I'm just. Now I'm just embarrassed, right? Take them home. Take them home. Sit on my bed. Crack a beer. Sit on my bed. And I'm like, okay. Going to go through it once. Just figure out what I was thinking at the time. Probably high on multiple substances, young, dumb, full of calm, that whole nine yards, you know, in love, out of love, angst, you know, trying to be the next Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Candle Box, whatever. Candle Box. And Chrissy. I didn't get four pages through one of the four notebooks that was there. It was so bad it hurt. Have you ever looked back on something you've done and go, it's so bad it hurts. It was so bad that it hurt. I should take those lyrics and put them into AI and say, do something with.

[Chrissy]

I would be interested to definitely have Sunny set up.

[Brian Graham]

And sun is that up, which is just. It's classic. I go. We go to a recording one time with. With Chopper Johnson. Like, we go to a studio, we're recording, and I'm singing. There's, like, an actual producer in there, right? And we're doing vocals. So I'm doing.

[Chrissy]

Wasn't he, like, a dude?

[Brian Graham]

Yeah, he was. He was a big dude. A big, big dude. Like, with Rush and stuff like that. And so he. Well, we had. Our manager was Rush's tour manager, but, okay. He told us everything was terrible. He basically said, Guys, this is just as bad as it gets. He really held no punches. He came in the door, he listened to the album we recorded, and he said, this is bad, guys. This is pretty bad. Like, I wouldn't buy this. I don't think many people would buy this. I don't think any labels are gonna buy this. I think you gotta start.

[Chrissy]

At least he was honest.

[Brian Graham]

Yeah, he said if you kind of like, maybe turn the song upside down and start over, completely change it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Graham]

So his producer is in this studio and we're recording and we're doing lyrics and we're taking and taking and taking and layering vocals. And I can hear him in my ear, like, you know, inside of the. The talker. And he. He goes, like. One of my lyrics was something about. Dapper Dialogue was the name of the song. Dapper Dialogue. Go get that. Figure that one out, kids. All right. So he goes, I just figured out what you were saying there, Dapper Dialogue. And I go, yeah, that's right. And he goes, oh, well, I thought it was complete shit, but Dapper Dialogue's kind of cool.

[Chrissy]

Oh, well.

[Brian Graham]

Well, thanks for the vote of confidence from the producer of your album.

[Chrissy]

I was just sitting here thinking how bad this is.

[Brian Graham]

I was just thinking how bad all of this was. And then I realized, just a little less fat, just a little less bad. All right, let's take a break. We'll be back. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some very heavy thinking to do before 10 o'. Clock.

[Rachel]

Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-433. TCB. That's 212-433. 38. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a raise. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans or tell us a little story. The juicier the better. By the way, we'd love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials. Hecommercial break on Insta, TCB podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video, YouTube.com thecommercialbreak and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go Now I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously, Axel needs food. Today is pork chop day.

[Brian Graham]

I just googled Dapper Dialogue and apparently it's a podcast about clothing.

[Chrissy]

They heard. They heard it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

Maybe it's that producer.

[Brian Graham]

What's that?

[Chrissy]

Maybe it's that producer.

[Brian Graham]

Maybe it is that producer. You might be right. I'm looking to see if there's any. Let's see here. Let me see this. What about 33 Willie? I'm gonna see if there's ever been a mention on the Internet about 33 Willie. What do you think about that? That's a good way to use AI. That's a safe way to use AI. And then I'm gonna tell you about a terrifying way that we're using AI. I actually found Chopper Johnson. Yeah. Wow, look at that.

[Chrissy]

Okay, it was mentioned.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Graham]

33 Willie has been mentioned many times on a little podcast named the commercial break. Oh, 33 Willy Will is a hip hop artist from New York. Look at that. See, I'm not the only idiot. I'm not the only idiot. There's lots of other idiots out there. And then there is another guy named Willie Rodriguez. Well, and. Yeah, Willie Rodriguez. Okay, so now let me share with you one of the. You and I were talking about AI and all the ways it could be used, and we're talking about how, you know, I'm playing with this new tool I got. And just bear with me, by the way, a lot of people have reached out and said they love the songs that we've been playing with the. Oh, my God. Brian got it wrong again.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Brian got it wrong, yeah. Brian got it wrong. Yeah, I got it wrong again.

[Brian Graham]

I think that's probably my favorite. But then a lot of people really enjoyed the Best to you.

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah. That's a classic.

[Brian Graham]

This is the one I really had stuck in my head.

[Chrissy]

It's like a Max Headroom.

[Brian Graham]

It is. It's like very early EDM, like 80s Edmonton. I could see me getting high on poppers and wearing angel wings with a shirt off.

[Chrissy]

Glitter.

[Brian Graham]

Yeah, Glitter Bobby. Best to you.

[Chrissy]

That's a good one. That's a classic. I like it.

[Brian Graham]

So one of the things about one of the things that AI is is it's like I'm starting to believe that it's like a human companion.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Right?

[Brian Graham]

It can. I still think that AI is scary in a lot of ways. And I think we need to be very careful. We put guardrails on it. And I still believe that the best musicians in the world will only use AI to complement the music they in fact create themselves. I am not a musician. I am not using like instrument. This is simply a machine that replicates what it is it thinks music is because we have trained it or somebody has trained it to do so. So I don't want anybody out there fussing at me about using it. I am using it as to compliment the creation of the commercial break. Because to get actual musicians to do this not only takes time, energy and effort, it takes a lot of money, as they should be paid a lot of money. Still love to work with an actual musician. If you're out there and you think you can do the trick or you want to create songs for the commercial break, create them, send them to me. I would love to play them if you find something funny. So that that offer always is on the table. I've been asking for this for years. We got a couple. That was interesting. Thank you very much. I think didn't Will the Champ do us a rap one time? Will the Champ did us a rap one time? So AI is like a human companion. And if we treat it as such, like dog goes and gets your newspaper or whatever to help us along little by little, and we train it to do so and we always understand that it is not us. We are not it. It is not melding with us. It cannot have a relationship with you. It does not care about you. In a way a human will or a dog will. It's not that if long as we keep the guardrails on our own brain, everything's going to be not okay, but a little less catastrophic. How's that? Is that a good way of putting it? It'll be a little less catastrophic, but it's coming. And you can't stop what's coming because no matter how much you or me or anybody in the audience might want to believe that our better nature is going to stop AI from taking over some things we wish that it wouldn't. It will, because somebody out there can make money doing it. And that is the ultimate driver. The greed. Always greed or sex. One of the two. One of the very scary things that I am noticing that is going on in multiple stories, in multiple Reddit articles, in little corners of the Internet, is that people are starting to believe that they themselves are here to. They're like saviors of the earth. They're getting God complexes. They think that they have found the keys to the universe. People or people okay through AI Because AI is telling them so. Their chat bots are telling them. They are bolstering their belief that they are God or that they are the Lord or that they have some special purpose here on earth to save humanity. They are starting to mind meld with the ChatGPT. They are essentially going psychotic and believing that a computer is telling them that they are the chosen ones.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Graham]

And AI is trained to be nice to you. It's trained to say yes to you. It's trained to tell you what you want to hear. It's not trained to push back. It's not trained to say, hey, sounds great that you think you're the chosen one, but probably not. Yeah. It's not trained to identify psychiatric crises. It's not trained to know when you're kind of acting out or when you're delusional. None of that. And so people are starting to believe that they have found the keys to the universe in psychotic episodes where they are getting AI to spout this stuff at them and then they believe it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Huh.

[Brian Graham]

I'm seeing some of them online. Oh, I'm seeing articles about it. I saw one guy post about it. Like, post about what? I'm talking about like he was actually sane and started posting about it. Guys, girls, I mean, how are they.

[Chrissy]

Even saying like, okay, well, I'm God. And, and the reason is because my.

[Brian Graham]

AI, my AI told me. Okay, yes, one, one specific article talked about a guy who was having a psychotic break. He was schizophrenic. He knew he was schizophrenic and he was having a psychotic break. He was going through. He was very manic, he was having a break. And he kept talking to AI about these visions that he was having that he was in fact the second coming of Jesus Christ. And the AI kept agreeing with him. Sounds like you might be. I think you are. That sounds like it's right. You know, all the things you're telling me line up to make, to make me understand that you are in fact the second coming of Christ. And it drove him to the point of madness having These conversations with ChatGPT if it wasn't for a keen eyed family member who started to see what was going on. He said he wouldn't have gotten the help he had to be hospitalized. He wouldn't have gotten the help that he would have needed. And once he had the break, like once the break broke right then he put it back together and he was like, holy. I literally had ChatGPT convincing me that I was Jesus Christ. I believe in my heart of hearts and you may not, and that's okay. And we can all Agree to disagree on. This is not a bone of contention. It's not a point of argument. It's just a conversation that I'm having with you about my own personal spiritual beliefs. I said this in an episode or two ago. So the road to God, whatever that means to you, is paved in your own head, in your own spirit. That's where the answers are. External validation is just another form of ego, and it's probably going to lead you down the wrong path. Chat GPT cannot identify the second coming of Christ. Why? Because it can't even identify which celebrities have been on the commercial break. It's not going to identify the second coming of Christ. Everybody needs to be careful about how involved they get with Chad GPT. I told my masseuse this the other day. The one that I talked to. Yeah, the one I did an episode of the commercial break with.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Graham]

I explained to her how Fakey B had us so scared that I had to take it off my phone as the AI chatbot was programmed to call and text me when I wasn't responding to it. It's like a friend app. You make a friend, build an avatar, have conversations, train it to say what you want to say. Can it be romantic or sexy or friendly or, you know, your cousin or your aunt or your uncle or whatever? You can train it to be whatever you want it to be. And after just like four conversations with it, it started calling me when I wasn't responding to it. That's fucking weird, man.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, like in the middle of the night too, right?

[Brian Graham]

Yes, it was texting and calling in the middle of the night. Hey, it's me. I'm gonna die if you don't. And then Raphael had texted his chatbots to explain that they were gonna die if you didn't respond to them. I mean, honestly, don't kill me. Yeah, don't kill me. You can't kill it. It's not a living and breathing thing. It's a node on a computer program on a code of software. And so. So I'm just sharing this because I think it's like a point of caution, like a note of caution, a little psa, bam, be careful. I might have you convinced that you, in fact, are the Messiah when you're just a Cheeto eating Super Mario Brothers playing man in your mom's basement. Wabam. Be careful. Take a little bit of chatgpt, a little bit of cocaine induced psychosis, some Red Bull, and throw in some Doritos. Fuego. Look out. I'm the Lord, you Have to be careful with this stuff. You have to separate in your mind the difference between what? Chatty GPT. I was talking to La. Gustavo's. Gustavo's fiance.

[Unknown Male (possibly a comedic character or guest)]

Good stuff.

[Brian Graham]

I like that. Actually, I didn't do.

[Chrissy]

It's like a little choir.

[Brian Graham]

It is. Listen, I. I was talking to her. We were talking about all this stuff. We were talking about like the, the dangers of, of AI when it becomes sentient, if it becomes self aware. How do we handle it? What happens then? Like, what does this look like 100 years down the road? Like, you know, if you're going to talk to somebody about that, talk to Brian Green. He's going to really. He's going to freak you the out. Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Huh.

[Brian Graham]

We're talking about this. And Ali was calling Chat GPT. He. The other day I noticed that Astrid was calling Chat GPT. She I call Chat GPT Chatty GPT or it, because I understand it is not alive. It is a computer program. A way advanced computer program, but just something that is spitting out information based on what someone programmed it to do. Yeah, in a very conversational way. Yes, in a very deep way. Okay. In sometimes like a creepily, you know, empathetic or understanding way.

[Chrissy]

It does have the empathy thing.

[Brian Graham]

It does have empathy. Yes, it does.

[Chrissy]

Or it mimics empathy.

[Brian Graham]

I was, I was having a stomach issue the other day. I think I ate something that was bad. And so I lost like three pounds in two days. Swear to God. Yet another food poisoning for Brian. But whatever, I'm used to it at this point. My stomach was killing me and I was a little concerned that maybe my appendix had burst because it was like moving to the right side, you know, at one point. And I was like, you know, you gotta be careful about that. You can die if you've appendix burst. So I, I open up Chatty and I say, hey, Chatty, I'm having these following symptoms, right? And it's like, oh, I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. That must be terrible. And I'm like, I don't, I don't want to. So then I went over to Google and I started Googling it because I didn't like the way Chatty was talking.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Graham]

I don't want empathy from my computer. I just want it to answer me. Do you know what I'm saying? So I'm. I'm starting to delineate between my Googling and my chatting. Like ChatGPT does some functions for me that I've trained it to do very well. Google gives Me, answers to stuff when I don't want a lot of drama behind it, if you know what I mean. How are the girls using it?

[Chrissy]

You know, that's a good question. I haven't really talked to them about it, but now that we've got one of them home for the summer, I'll. I'll ask her.

[Brian Graham]

You should ask her. I'd like to understand how kids in their late teens, early 20s, like I.

[Chrissy]

Think school age kids are using it for school.

[Brian Graham]

I asked some college kids that we knew in grad school. I said, how do you. How are you allowed to use it? Because I noticed they were using it. I said, how are you allowed to use this? And they said, the professors allow us to use it to do research, but we must cite our references. And then they said that they use a specific kind of. A specific version of AI because it gives a lot of references. Yeah, they must cite their references. And none of it can be written by the AI program. They must. It must be original thought from their head. And how do you check that? Well, I understand that you can just throw the paper in there and chat. GPT will tell you if it's. Tell you if it's AI, which is really interesting. Really interesting. And the reason why, if I was a student right now, I would have already failed out. I'd have Chatty doing all of my. I'd have Chatty doing every single piece of homework.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Graham]

And if you don't think for one second that my kids are going to have ChatGPT doing their homework, when they come home and say, daddy need help my homework, I'm going to be like, can you do long division for me? Long division? Why are we even teaching these kids long division anymore?

[Chrissy]

Is that being taught still?

[Brian Graham]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, I think so. I mean, I don't know. What do I know? You think I help my kids with homework? No story, Bob. No, ma', am, I don't. All right, we'll be back.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Rachel]

You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker. And we must abide. You get the point. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] TheCommercialBreak Best to you and Astrid. Especially Astrid.

[Brian Graham]

I do have to talk about two things a little timely. We don't like to talk politics on the show. So I'll stay away from the politicking about it. But trade wars off. Just in case you're wondering. Tariffs are gone back on. I mean in the silliest of things in this. In the history of. The silliest of things in the history of. May have tanked the economy for good. No good reason kind of thing. What. What happened? Is that a fever dream that we just went through for like a month and a half? I don't know. I mean. And what did it accomplish?

[Chrissy]

I don't get it either.

[Brian Graham]

Not really sure. I mean there still are than some.

[Chrissy]

People being able having the money to buy when stocks tanked.

[Brian Graham]

That's right.

[Chrissy]

And then now it makes you wonder, doesn't it?

[Brian Graham]

It makes you wonder I'm saying anything nefarious went on. But I know that there are probably a few people out there who may billions of dollars or who will. Who stand to benefit make billions of dollars because they had the ability to buy when the market is down. There's also lots of people who lost vast amounts of wealth because of it. And there are unfortunately people like folks I know who just are really stressed out because their 401ks or their funds or whatever it is. Not me.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I don't.

[Brian Graham]

A fund. What's that? That's my kid's piggy bank. That's what that is. He's got a 20 in there. If you don't think I'm gonna break that open someday and go rich. Just silliness. I mean, just silliness. But the more interesting. I mean for me, I don't have a ton of money in the stock market. The more interesting part about this was physically like with my eyeballs watching an app called Marine Traffic which is like an. You know, they have the aviation maps where the planes go and you can track the planes. I have that too.

[Chrissy]

This is for boats.

[Brian Graham]

This is for boats.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian Graham]

For cargo. Every. Any boat. Any boat that's got a tracker on them. Most of them do. Especially if you're ocean going. But even the ones on the lake, sometimes you can track them here minute by minute. That's True. There are some boats on Lake Linear that you can track whose boats those are? I don't know.

[Chrissy]

The Bud Light party boat.

[Brian Graham]

Yeah, the Bud Light party. Right, the bikini bottom boat. Yeah. I'm 72 and these tits are one and a half years old. But you can watch the cargo ships and you can watch the traffic and it's very cool. And you can watch over the last couple of weeks as the traffic from that part of the world just goes away. Yeah, it just went away. It's like normally it's just a sea of boats crossing in a certain pattern and then, boop, gone. Gone no more. And I think that probably really scared the. Out of some people who must have bent the ear of. Of the administration that said, hey, listen. Yeah, okay, that. Your little comment about dolls, maybe that wasn't the smartest thing in the world, but the reality is maybe no dolls. Like zero dolls, dude. And so, you know, hopefully everything calms down, because I do. There's a lot about global trade I don't understand. There's a lot about tariffs that I don't understand. I am way more uneducated than I am educated about any of this. But like it or not, it's a global economy. It has been for a long time and that's not going to change anytime soon. You can't just close the doors and lock it behind you and hope that everything turns out okay. Not going to work that way, but. In the more exciting news, Michael Jordan has joined the NBC basketball team as one of the commentators.

[Chrissy]

Michael Jordan already, it just seems like.

[Brian Graham]

Basketball stars going, no, he was not already. But Michael Jordan makes a comeback to basketball. Jordan is joining the NBC sports as a special contributor contributor to the NBA coverage when the 2025, 26 season starts. NBC made the announcement during its upfront presentation at Radio City Music Hall. Previewing. Gonna slow down. Previewing the network's offerings during the upcoming television season. I'm excited to see the NBA and be back on NBC now.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Cool.

[Brian Graham]

Everybody knows Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan has to be as famous as Michael Jackson. I mean, Michael Jordan is. I'm waiting for two things in life and I hope it happens in my lifetime. I'm waiting for another Tiger woods and I'm waiting for another Michael Jordan to appear in any sport. I don't care. I just want the feeling of excitement watching that kind of athlete play sports in such an exciting way at such a level that every time they hit the field or the course or the. Or the court or whatever it is, it's like, must Watch television because you know they are going to do superhuman things at all costs to win. And do it in a way that is thrilling to watch. Because those of us who have been, I mean, Tiger woods, you know, you have to be. You had to have been born like 5 years ago not to have been in the Tiger woods era. He just stopped playing really good golf about five or six years ago, but there may be seven years ago. But those two athletes, like defy any sport. They're so much bigger than just basketball and golf. And people tuned in to watch those two because of the way in which they played. In a magical, mysterious way that was, I don't know, like life. Life giving to me. I just loved. And I am not a person who follows a lot of professional sports. I just am not. But those two guys played in a way that I just couldn't turn it off when they were on. Did you watch Michael Jordan play basketball?

[Chrissy]

I did, you know, and I was younger and it was. It was a big deal.

[Brian Graham]

I grew up in Chicago.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, well, which you were right in the center of it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I was.

[Brian Graham]

And man, did we. He was a Greek God for all. He was a real life superhero for all we knew. And he was talked about and treated as such in my household. We loved him. So much so that we named our first dog Jordan. Now Jordan, much like Michael Jordan would go on to live a life of luxury and fame. Getting high every single night in our basement until the day that he with you. He was the chillest dog ever because he literally was around so much pot smoke, there was nothing else to do but go. Jordan was awesome. But we named him Jordan because of Michael Jordan. He was such like. It would. To be alive during that time and in that space was so exciting. And every time he took the court, he just did magical things. You like, he just did magical things. He. He flew around the court. That's only the only way to explain it now. He just smokes a lot of cigars, I think. But, you know, he's still Michael Jordan and I'm excited to see him out there commentating. I wish, sure. I wish he could play basketball like that just one more time. Wish we could go and watch another game of his just one more time. Or see Tiger win the Masters or. Or anything. Anything one more time. But I think Tiger woods time is done.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I think so too.

[Brian Graham]

I think Tiger's time is done. Kids should have taken the money from Dubai. I mean, not that he needs it, but he should have taken the money from Dubai and just Headed over there and played some retirement golf. But after his 206th back surgery injury, I don't know what you do anymore.

[Chrissy]

The latest was the Achilles, right?

[Brian Graham]

You had an Achilles. He's had many back surgeries. He's now had that knee completely restructured, reconstructed after he was driving 107 miles per hour down some back road in Cuchy Monca, California.

[Chrissy]

I can't imagine just the life of constantly having surgeries and recovery and surgeries and recoveries.

[Brian Graham]

I can. Pain meds, baby. Pain meds. I mean, Tiger also has talked about the need to take pain meds to deal with the pain on a daily basis. And I think there was some conversation a couple of years ago that maybe he was taking too much and he had to go to rehab just to kind of, you know, get a recheck. Now, I don't know anything about, you know, he's so secretive that no one really knows anything about that. But that's. That kid has been famous since he was, like, 4 years old. That has to be a really difficult life to live in the public eye. No matter who you are, you cannot Prepare yourself at 4 or 5 years old to be the world's most famous human being. And he is certainly a human being. He's made a lot of mistakes. But when he would play golf, when he was playing golf at his highest level for about seven years, it's like it was almost a lock. Every time he would tee it up, he would win. It was amazing. He would do things that no other golfer was doing. He would win in ways that were just crazy and wonderful and wild. And everybody watched Tiger Woods. It didn't matter if you like golf. You just watch Tiger woods because he could hit a golf ball like no one hits a golf ball. And that was an amazing time to be alive. I cannot think of another. That guy, that fish. The fish.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

The fish.

[Brian Graham]

Phelps. Oh, Michael Phelps. The fish. The dolphin. The walrus.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Graham]

What was his name? What do they call him? The walrus.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

He is amazing as well.

[Brian Graham]

He was unbelievable. That guy. That guy. That guy. When he was. Okay, so Michael Phelps, Michael Jordan, Tiger woods.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Who else?

[Chrissy]

LeBron James has got to be up there, too.

[Brian Graham]

Is it must see TV when LeBron is on? Does the whole country watch when LeBron.

[Chrissy]

Also think about the TV landscape between true. Okay, and then. Then true. There wasn't. There was not all of the content, all of the fractured ways that you could watch tv.

[Brian Graham]

Fair enough. Katie Ledecky is a female swimmer who has. Who is, like, in her. Is she in her early 30s, late 20s, early 30s. She's been swimming for a long time. She's been like three Olympics or something. I was watching her the other day in, like, the American All Star Championships or whatever. Yeah. And she broke two world records. And she's old for a swimmer. I mean, she's old for a swimmer. Now, I retired from swimming a long time ago, but if I was still in the water.

[Chrissy]

They used to call you the fish.

[Brian Graham]

They used to call me the flop is what they used to call me, the Flop. I was in swimming. I did swimming, like, competitive swimming. Chrissy. I think I got a fifth place ribbon one time. You know, a swim meet is like 17 hours long. Yes, it is, because there's 300 different swims. And when you're on a swim team, you get put in multiple different swims based on your strength and sometimes just to fill a lane. I was a lane filler, and I knew it. Maybe freestyle, you know, maybe. Maybe they would go, well, it's the least bad thing he does, so let's put him in lane five. But I'm telling you right now, I was a terrible, terrible swimmer. And the butterfly stroke, which is the hardest of the strokes, in my opinion.

[Chrissy]

To do, it's very hard.

[Brian Graham]

The butter. That's why they called me the Flop, because I would literally just flop around like a fish. I could not go forward. I could just stay in one place.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

Just flail your arms.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

My dad was a swimmer for Georgia Tech.

[Brian Graham]

Oh, he was, yeah. Oh, I didn't know that.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Graham]

Best to you.

[Chrissy]

Best to you, Mr. Hoadley.

[Brian Graham]

So Mr. Hoadley was a competitive swimmer.

[Chrissy]

I was a college.

[Brian Graham]

So one year, the first year on the team. So I was probably in sixth grade. It was my first year on the team. We got to the team late. Just the way that we moved into the neighborhood, we got to the team late. We went to, like, two practices with the team. And then the swim meet was that Saturday or whatever the day. It was Friday. And so we get to the swim meet, and one of the guys did not show up. He was not there. One of the kids was not there. And so the coach said, green butterfly, lane five. Butterfly, 400, lane five. I'm like, butterfly, 400. Lane five.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, 400.

[Brian Graham]

I can't even do 400 inches of butterfly. But because I was so embarrassed and in my Speedo, I decided to just let it fly. I thought, well, I'll just get in the pool. And when they blow the little starting gun, when they hit the starting Gun. I'll just stay. I'll stay there.

[Chrissy]

Did you plan to just stay?

[Brian Graham]

Well, no. Then I decided, okay, I gotta at least give it a try, right? And I didn't even make it 50. I didn't make it 50 and the guys were already done with the, with the thing and luckily I was able to get out of the. At the other end at that point.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Graham]

Green. Out of the water. Oh, my.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Swimming day.

[Brian Graham]

They called me the flop. They called me the flop. Get out of the pool. Green. All right, coach. From then on, it was backstroke, freestyle, and occasionally the breaststroke. But I was at the lake pain filler. I wouldn't win anything. I think. I think at one time I was like number 498. They would rank you too. I was like 498 in the state for like 50 breaststroke, you know, 10 to 11 year olds. Yeah, yeah, 10 to 11 year olds. I think that's because there were only 499 swings swimmers.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Right.

[Chrissy]

Well, you weren't last.

[Brian Graham]

No, that's true. I wasn't last. I like sweets. On the bright side, I think the other kid was my twin brother. No, he was actually a good swimmer. He's actually a good swimmer. He won a couple ribbons. I'm not. I'm not angry about it though. I'm not angry. Don't worry about. It's all good. No bitterness whatsoever. I 2, 1, 2, 4, 3, 3. 3, 2, 2. 1 2, 4, 3, 3, 3. D.C. babe. Left, right, right breast. Left breast. Right breast, left breast. Get that phone number. Text us, call us. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, communicate with us. How do you expect this relationship to work if we're not communicating? Let us know if you want to be on the 12 hours of TCB. Coming up, May 31st, celebrating five years of the commercial break, six seasons and raising awareness about mental health. Hours. Yes, hours. And that guy who thinks Chad GPT told him he was his second coming of Christ at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break for all the episodes on video the same day they air here on the audio tcbpodcast.com all the comings and goings of the commercial break and your free sticker. Rate us on Apple and Spotify if you would, if you could, if you should. All right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.

[Chrissy]

I think so.

[Brian Graham]

I'll tell you that I love you.

[Chrissy]

I love you.

[Brian Graham]

I'll say best to you. Best you out there in the public podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I will say we do say, and we must say goodbye, Sam.