Just Fyre TCB!

Summary

The Commercial Break — "Just Fyre TCB!" (Feb 27, 2025)

Hosted by Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Overview of Episode

This episode of The Commercial Break is a classic manifestation of the show’s signature blend of offbeat improv comedy, irreverent pop culture commentary, and unscripted banter. Bryan and Krissy dig into the infamous Fyre Fest—its disastrous legacy and the jaw-dropping resurrection of “Fyre Fest 2.” Along the way, the duo rants and riffs on reality TV (with a deep dive into "Love is Blind"), medical dramas, music licensing, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and their own high-school band nostalgia. All wrapped in their chaotic, self-aware, and hilariously unfiltered style.

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Key Segments and Highlights

1. Outrageous Mock Ads: Tina Tan and Tweeze ([00:05]–[02:44])

• Bryan opens with a wild satirical ad for "Tina Tan and Tweeze"—a fictional, absurd salon specializing in tanning, tweezing, and anal bleaching.
• The ad features over-the-top claims about UV burn beds, free "lip waxing" for "barely legal ladies," and a European bleaching technician.
• Notably, legal disclaimers are delivered deadpan, warning about health hazards, surveillance by authorities, and the questionable legal status of the business.
• Quote:

  "With four state of the art burn beds. You'll be redder than ever, making her wetter than use is loose." — Bryan ([00:25])

• Sets an irreverent, anarchic tone that continues throughout.

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2. Fyre Fest Returns — WTF!? ([23:52]–[38:59])

The Fyre Fest Scandal Recap

• Bryan recalls the original Fyre Fest catastrophe (“the best festival that never happened”) and the Netflix/Hulu documentaries chronicling the failed event, scams, and stranded guests.
  • "Ignominious festival that never was...with, you know, swimming pigs, baloney sandwiches and tents that weren't set up." — Bryan ([24:18])
• Details how festival founder Billy McFarland was jailed for fraud.

The Bizarre Sequel: Fyre Fest 2

• Bryan reveals he was approached by someone offering to get Billy on their podcast—for a fee—in connection to reviving Fyre Fest.
  • "He was trying to get me to pay him to have Billy on the show." — Bryan ([27:37])
• Krissy is incredulous; Bryan unpacks sleazy backroom dealings, including being pitched a "prep concert" with conditional access for the privilege of paying.
• Bryan suspects this is a broader grift targeting podcasters and media.

Ticket Pricing Insanity and No-Content Offers

• They mock the new ticket tiers for Fyre Fest 2 ($1,400 for GA, $5,000 for Fuego VIP, $25,000 Phoenix Artist Pass, and...the $1.1 million "Prometheus" package).
• All these premium tickets promise luxury—with no announced artists or details!
  • "What does that get you, you might ask, Krissy? [...] I am paying $5,000, that's what I'll pay for a ticket. Yes. Your own exclusive getaway." — Bryan ([32:07], [32:44])
  • "Now added the Prometheus Package for $1.1 million. Yes. Prometheus Guests will live like the gods of fire..." — Bryan ([33:59])

Satirical Solutions

• Bryan offers an alternative:
  • "Give The Commercial Break $1.1 million, and we will turn off the RSS feed and the commercial break. You can put whatever name you want on it. Chrissy and I will do an episode every day for the next five years just to you." ([36:26])
• Both mock the idea anyone would pay these sums to attend an artist-less, scam-tainted festival.
• Both consider going just to watch (and document) the inevitable chaos for the show.

Key Quotes

• "He is going to disappoint you. There will be no Fyre Fest 2 in the way in which he envisions it or tries to sell it to you." — Bryan ([29:55])
• "I can't believe that he's doing this again." — Krissy ([37:15])

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3. "Love is Blind" Season Banter ([04:15]–[14:14])

• Bryan and Krissy discuss the latest season of Netflix’s “Love is Blind.”
• Bryan laments a slow start, too much time in “the pods,” and a focus on a contestant, Madison, who he describes as “trouble with a capital T.”
  • "When I mean smoke show, I mean the type of woman who eats men for breakfast and spits them out before brushing her teeth at noon." – Bryan ([05:52])
• They analyze Madison's "trauma dumping," narrative inconsistencies, and manipulative behavior.
• Both praise the emotional intelligence of a contestant (possibly Dave) who ultimately rejects Madison rather than get swept up by her charms, with Krissy delivering a minor spoiler about future episodes.
  • "I just recognize the crazy. You've honed your skills, having lived with it, dated it, been there, done that." — Bryan ([12:03])
• The segment pokes fun at the show's premise:

  "Love is not blind. Guys, I know love is not blind unless you're actually blind...You can't look at someone you're not attracted to and go, I want to fall in love with that person." — Bryan ([13:33])

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4. TV and Music Segue: The Pit & Music Licensing ([14:14]–[22:15])

• Bryan raves about his new TV obsession, a medical drama called "The Pit," starring Noah Wyle.
• He praises its realism, documentary feel, accurate props/language, and the unique format (episodes in real time).
  • "It is so incredibly real, down to...the props they use, the words they’re saying..." — Bryan ([15:16])
• "The Pit" features a standout soul track as its opening theme—Robert Bradley's Blackwater Surprise; Bryan goes into detail about the band’s origins and why the song fits perfectly.
  • "Whoever picked that song was 100% right. That gets you through the first 15 seconds, and then you're involved." — Bryan ([22:02])
• Discussion touches on how TV has become a key discoverer for new music and how sync fees have changed.
• Reflection on how music licensing dynamics have evolved, citing Beatles songs in cereal commercials as unthinkable in his childhood.

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5. Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Voting ([39:59]–[44:08])

• Bryan updates on the RRHOF 2025 nominee voting; shares stats and opinions on the current leaderboard, with Phish, Billy Idol, and Soundgarden leading.

• Offers skepticism about the significance of public voting and believes the system should guarantee induction for the top public vote-getter.

• Both advocate for Outkast, White Stripes, Chubby Checker, Joe Cocker, and Soundgarden as deserving inductees.

  • "How many times are we going to nominate Joe Cocker before he gets in? Or Chubby Checker even...He did the twist, kids." — Bryan ([45:02])

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6. Saxophone, High-School Band Stories & Parental Nostalgia ([44:08]–[52:11])

• The episode closes with Bryan reminiscing about dodging his high school band director and skipping football games to avoid “Tutti Frutti” on saxophone. Krissy playfully ribbing him.

• Candid, warm stories about the no-pressure life of adolescence vs. adulthood responsibilities.

  • "But I digress. The truth is, kids, I should have followed through on my responsibilities...But then I wouldn't be the same lazy, mediocre comedy podcaster I am today." — Bryan ([52:11])

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• "With four state of the art burn beds. You'll be redder than ever, making her wetter than use is loose." — Bryan ([00:25])
• "When I mean smoke show, I mean the type of woman who eats men for breakfast and spits them out before brushing her teeth at noon." — Bryan ([05:52])
• "I just recognize the crazy. You've honed your skills, having lived with it, dated it, been there, done that." — Bryan ([12:03])
• “Give The Commercial Break $1.1 million...Chrissy and I will do an episode every day for the next five years just to you. [...] That’s a much better deal than staying on a yacht for four days in a festival that no one’s going to play at.” — Bryan ([36:26])
• "Love is not blind unless you're actually blind. That's the truth." — Bryan ([13:33])
• "That gets you through the first 15 seconds, and then you're involved." — Bryan, on the Robert Bradley track ([22:02])
• "How many times are we going to nominate Joe Cocker before he gets in? Or Chubby Checker even...He did the twist, kids." — Bryan ([45:02])

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Satirical Ad: Tina Tan and Tweeze — [00:05]–[02:44]
• Love is Blind Breakdown — [04:15]–[14:14]
• The Pit / Medical Drama & Music Placement Discussion — [14:14]–[23:11]
• Fyre Fest 2 Rant — [23:52]–[38:59]
• Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Voting — [39:59]–[44:08]
• High School Band Stories / Life Lessons — [44:08]–[52:11]

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Tone and Style

• Playful, irreverent, improvisational, and self-effacing throughout.
• Sharp satirical edge, especially when lampooning scams, reality TV personas, their own show, and their youthful misadventures.
• Naturally flowing, with constant interplay between the hosts, quick segues, and plenty of inside jokes and callbacks.

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Summary Takeaway

“Just Fyre TCB!” is The Commercial Break at its best: improvisational, satirical, and a bit chaotic—but consistently hilarious and sharply observational. Bryan and Krissy’s rundown of the Fyre Fest 2 debacle, skewering the ticket prices and empty promises, forms the comic and cultural core, while their TV, music, and life commentary keeps things unpredictable, relatable, and fun. If you’re looking for a window into the absurdity of pop culture, scams, and everyday life, filtered through two best friends who aren’t afraid to call bullshit, this episode delivers.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Brian Green]

Tina Tannen Tweeze is happy to announce its grand re reopening. Tina Tannin Tweeze is now reopen after we had to close after our last grand reopening. That's right. Crabapplians Northwest Buttchuck County's only tanning, tweezing and anal bleaching spa is back and better than ever. With four state of the art burn beds. You'll be redder than ever. Making her wetter than use is lose. TTNT has the only beds anywhere in the world that turn the UV rays up to 11. That's right back by popular demand and thanks to doge deregulations, our 1970s era tanning equipment will give you more solar radiation in one session than most astronauts get standing outside their spaceship.

Bake me a cake rocket man.

And make sure to stop by the Tina Tweezing tent. Conveniently located steps for from our outdoor restroom facilities. Endande esta el banyo. You get a professional plucking so you're ready for some. Put a quarter in the swear jar this week and this week only. When you order one lip waxing, we'll throw in the other lips for free. Barely legal ladies. Let's trim that basement beard and put out a fresh welcome mat for that special hunk. A spunk in your life. So slip and slide. We'll get up close and personal with our five in one Brazilian technique. You'll leave feeling sexy, silky and smooth. Or your next visit is 10% off plus available now to all new Crabapple customers. You can brighten up that dark star while you wait. We've flown in Eastern Europe's hottest bleaching technician, Bolanya, all the way from Latvia and fresh off her DJ residency in Ibiza. But Lanya's bringing all the tools to make the boys drools.

Bippity boppity boo.

Make your no no zone a go go zone. When you lighten up that brown blossom into a white rose because you never know who's looking.

It's your creepy neighbor.

Tina Tan and Tweeze now re reopen at 127 Main street in Crabapple Township.

[Tina Tan and Tweeze Announcer]

Tina Tann and Tweeze is not responsible for lost or stolen items inside or outside the facilities or in your body cavity. Please be aware that TT and T is operating under a state carnival license and may not know exactly what they're doing. By entering T you agree that some of the chemicals and processes used may be harmful to your health. Any person or persons who receive services at TT&T May be subject to surveillance by state authorities. Tina of Tina Tan and Tweeze may not leave the premises for any reason due to a legal arrangement with state police.

[Brian Green]

Tina Tan and Tweeze, red and ready to go with a smooth choocha and a shiny hoe.

On this episode of the commercial break. But I'm gonna tell you right now, don't give your money to these people because you will end up being disappointed. $1.1 million. Give the commercial break $1.1 million and we will turn off the RSS feed and the commercial break. You can put whatever name you want on it. Chrissy and I will do an episode every day for the next five years just to you. That's it. That's what you get for $1.1 million. And I think that's a much better deal than staying on a yacht for four days in a festival that no one's gonna play at. You know what I'm saying? Is it gonna be 33p acoustically? What if. Who's gonna play there?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I can't believe that he's doing this again.

[Brian Green]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. 2:30 in the morning. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris Head.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. I was gonna say you're the Mads to my Dave, but, you know, I don't know how many people will get that. How many people will pick up on that? Will you pick up on it?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't think so.

[Brian Green]

The Mads to my Dave.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay. Like Madison.

[Brian Green]

Like Madison to my dad.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Ooh, I got it. Okay, so you're that far.

[Brian Green]

Those who know I k n y.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

K. So you're that far in the show.

[Brian Green]

I am not. I am only three episodes in, but I unfortunately saw a reel that indicated what I'm headed into. So here we go. Love is Blind. Okay, don't tell me everything, but Love is Blind up to episode four. Spoiler alert. Turn off the first segment because we're gonna talk about it. Love is Blind is back. Because it seems like it's back every two months.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It is.

[Brian Green]

They're constantly doing one, and they're about a year behind on production. So what you're seeing now is filmed about a year ago. And I see why they do this is so that the. When they get together for the recap, you know, the live Reunion. They actually have some meat and potatoes to talk about. Some time has gone out. People who are married are either married or not. People who have been together, you know, it just gives them some breathing room. Plus it probably takes a long time to cut and edit those shows.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, that's a lot of footage into.

[Brian Green]

A storyline that makes sense. And they do storyboard these out. Make no bones about it. They flip flop, you know, they might take something that happened on day three and make it look like it happened on day two to further the storyline. You get it. It's editing of a reality show. It's not all straightforward. It's. They have to make it interesting. I gotta say, slow start on Love is blind, season number 12 or whatever. Wrong. Slow start.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

They focus a lot on the pods.

[Brian Green]

They do. Well, there's three full episodes now, I believe. Four full episodes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It goes into like. They're still in the pods. I'm in like six.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

They're still in the pods at six. Yeah. That's a little unusual.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I think two seasons ago they got. They had like two episodes in the pods and then they were right in a honeymoon. I like that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Me too.

[Brian Green]

Plus I like my people a little crazier than they are this season. However, there is one X factor that everybody is talking about. Who's watching Love is Blind. Her name is Mads or Madison. She is a smoke show. Smoke show. And when I mean a smoke show, I mean the type of woman who eats men for breakfast and spits them out before brushing her teeth at noon. This girl is trouble with a capital T. Been there, done that. I literally have dated women with the exact same personality. Now Astrid and I are watching because this is a. This is a couple's watch. There's not a lot of stuff that we have as a couple's watch because Astrid doesn't like me watching TV with her anymore, but she prefer I be in the studio than anywhere else. But this is a couple's watch, so we got excited. Love is Blind, you know, it was happened to come out on Valentine's Day. So we sat, we watched. But it was so slow. The first episode or two were so slow. We only got through one episode a night. Whereas last season or the season before, we were getting through two or three, maybe four episodes in a night, new episodes would drop and we'd burn through them. So I wasn't super like hyped about this season after the first episode. But smartly, the producers started focusing in on a girl named Madison Nasser. And I are watching this. Madison's having these dates and she's kind of. She's kind of whittling it down to two or three guys. But every guy that she is talking to, she is trauma dumping all of the things that have happened to her. When a guy says something, she will say, let me give you an example. Well, my mom was a drug addict, and so I had to raise myself and make hard choices. Fast forward to a couple scenes later. She's with a different guy. Well, I grew up in a very strict church, and I thought to myself, you grew up in a very strict church with a drug addict mother? Like, something didn't add up to me. And every time they showed Madison she had yet another trauma, another drama, another. And listen, I'm not diminishing trauma. If she did have a drug addict mother and had to grow up, raise herself, I kind of raised myself too. Like, that's a very traumatic thing to go through. And as an adult, if you haven't kind of sat down and reasoned with that part of your life, then it's a very difficult thing to move past. To move past, for sure. And so. But she kept saying, I'm past it. I've done it. I'm self. Aware. But then every time something came up, she had to bring up the trauma again. Every time, every conversation. Another example. I don't want to talk about sex right now. Because I grew up in such a strict church. I'm very. I'm very. I remember I'm reserved, and I was made to feel like sex is shameful and that women weren't supposed to have sex unless it was for the purpose of making babies. Very next scene, she's, like, half naked, twerking, basically. Mutually masturbating with another guy in the pod.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Which was very. And I know the producers did this on purpose to kind of like, you know, give this. Hey, she's saying this, but she's doing that. Saying this with this guy, doing that with that guy. What's up? So they're also honing in on this, and they're doing it slowly and pretty connivingly, but you can pick up on it very early. So if you haven't watched it, I'm giving it to you. I'm not giving away anything. But Madison is trouble with a capital T. One of these guys is onto her. One of these guys is so self aware and I think, emotionally intelligent that when Madison is saying these things, he is not, like, rolling over like a puppy dog.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

For her sexy voice. Now he has no idea what she looks like, I don't think. Anyway, he has no idea what she looks like, but just the way she talks can kind of twist you into a knot. I'm sure a lot of these guys are just drooling, listening to her voice and her talk in this sultry, sexy way. Well, one of the guys, he. He's seeing past it, and he's like, yeah, I don't know. He asks, what's your attachment style? And she says, dismissiveness. Whenever something happens that I don't like, I tend to run away from it. Right? And he says, yeah, I don't think I like that. I don't think. I don't think that's something I could handle. He's being honest with her. Where the other guys are like, madison.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, wait till you see it a little further in.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really? Well, I saw the reel this morning, and I understand.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What. What does it say she did?

[Brian Green]

She kind of, like, blew up the whole thing for another girl altogether.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, that happened, but then there's something further that happens, so.

[Brian Green]

Okay, well, drop the bomb. Drop the bomb.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Love is blind. Love is blind. Spoiler alert. We're talking about it. This. By the time this comes out, everybody will have already seen it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

She narrows it down to the one guy. I think his name's Dave. I don't know. He's the guy who also said that he grew up like that. He was a nerdy guy and got bullied as a kid, so they kind of had that in common or something. Anyways, it gets down to the two of them, and he doesn't do it.

[Brian Green]

He doesn't do it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

She narrows it to him and only him. And then she says. He says, I can't move further. It's too much. He's like, I can't engagements a lot.

[Brian Green]

This is the guy who I was talking about.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I like that guy.

[Brian Green]

I like that guy, too, because he was honest with himself. He's like, I think something's off here, and I'm not going to just.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He doesn't do the engagement. So I don't know what happens after that. Okay, there's some kind of a repair, or she moves on to another guy. I don't know.

[Brian Green]

Very interesting. Good for you. I think that guy's name is Dave. Good for you, Dave. Or Sean, One of the two. Good for you, Dave. Good for you. So proud of you, Dave. Yeah, I'm so proud of you.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Because he was really smitten.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, of course. And if he saw what she looked like, he's probably gonna kick himself in the fucking nuts. Yeah, yeah. She was a model. She's an artist. She's a international woman of mystery. She's done. I mean, every time they talk, someone talks to her. She did something different. She's doing something different. I don't know. She seems like a bit of a chameleon to me. Like an emotional chameleon. And listen, I'm not pointing out Madison to say that, you know, don't. Don't take this as, oh, Brian just thinks all girls are crazy. No, I don't. I. There's no.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You can just recognize that.

[Brian Green]

You can just wreck it. I just recognize the crazy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You've honed your skills, having lived with.

[Brian Green]

It, dated it, been there, done that. And maybe we all have had some similar experience with someone that just is emotional, an emotional chameleon. They gaslight you. They tell you whatever you want to hear. They give you love. They pull it away. This is Madison. This is what she's doing. And you can see it in. Even through the editing of the show. If you've ever been in one of these relationships, guy or girl, then you feel it. You're like, oh, this seems a little too familiar to me. And even though Madison is a total bomb of a physical woman, it's just so much. There's so much drama behind those eyes that it's like, run as fast as you can.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, well, this guy did.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. He's going to kick himself.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He will.

[Brian Green]

When he finds her Instagram. When he finds her Instagram bikini pictures, he's going to fudgeing. Flip out. I haven't even looked at her for her. I get a little, like. I don't want to, like, ruin it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

For myself, so I was trying not to look ahead.

[Brian Green]

And I know that they're not supposed to post and, you know, but you can, like, tell little things. If you check out their Instagram, they make other benign Instagram posts until the episode reveals whatever the episode reveals. Yeah, but. Yeah, but then the rest of the. The rest of the stories are like.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, and I can already see a crack in one of the ones that did get engaged.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really? Okay. All right. Well, don't tell me that, because there was. We so far have seen one engagement, and it looks like something that actually could be.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, that one. That first one.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Is that the one where we're seeing cracks?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

Okay, good. All right. Because I like those, too.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's when they see each other.

[Brian Green]

Oh. It's when they see each other. Love is not blind. Guys, I know love is not blind unless you're actually blind.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Do you know what I'm saying? That's it. It's just the truth. We use all of our senses to eat. We use all of our senses to fall in love. All of our available senses, let's put it that way. But love is not blind unless you're actually blind. That's the truth. It can't be. There's no way. You can't look at someone you're not attracted to and go, I want to fall in love with that person. It's really hard to do that. I mean, it is. So many people have tried with me, and it just didn't work out with anybody. Except for Astrid. I want to get her eyesight checked.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You won the prize with her.

[Brian Green]

I married up for sure. All right. While we're on television shows, which we tend to talk about once a week, but we. While we're on television shows, I wanted to let you know I am watching, I think, one of. Probably one of the best television shows I have seen in a long time. And let me preface this by saying I am not a medical drama kind of guy. Er. What is the other one? Grey's Anatomy. You can name the endless amounts of medical dramas that there have been on television. St. Elsewhere. All the medical dramas that have been on television and caused quite the ruckus, quite the stir. I have just never been convinced they're interesting enough to watch for any period of time. I'm not into it. It's not for me. I'm sorry. It's just like a. It's like. I don't know, like bad. Like bad romance drama wrapped in with some medical bullshit. And there's always some mystery that someone's uncovering and some medical miracles happened out of nowhere. It's all a little too fluffy and bullshitty for Brian. Okay. I like Seven Little Johnstons. That's where good television lives. However.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Ah, you got the Pit. You're on the Pit.

[Brian Green]

I am on the Pit. And the Pit.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I've heard the Pit is taken off.

[Brian Green]

So fantastic. And that Noah Wylie, who's on that show, executive producer, co writer and the lead in that show plays like. The Pit is a teaching hospital in Pittsburgh. They call it the Pit because he works in the emergency room that is filled with people, and they don't have enough time, they don't have enough money, and they don't have, you know, all these other reasons. It's just like a real, live emergency room. It is so incredibly real, down to the really down to the. Like the props that they use for the medical procedures, the words that they're saying, they're using words that clearly only surgeons or doctors or medical professionals would even know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

So it's like you're a fly on the wall. You are a fly on the wall in the emergency.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. On a real emergency room, not one where they're fluffing up the language for the viewers. You kind of homogenize it for everyday viewers. This is like they're saying the real words and then in between, the storylines slowly unfold.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

And the storylines are interesting enough to keep you engaged. The acting is fantastic, it's quick paced. They're taking care of a new patient, you know, and by the way, I love how this is done. It's 15 hour shift at the pit. 15 episodes an hour each show. So you're actually following them minute by minute during the show. So it's not like there's big jumps in time forward or backwards. I mean, there are some flashbacks so you can get some of the story, but basically when it's 9am, you're following them from 9am to 10am and you're. They're treating the patients in real time during that hour. And those patients can stay for multiple episodes, depending on what kind of case they have. Or they can be in and out in an hour. So it's fascinating. It's fantastic. I fucking love it. It's on. Max, you should watch. Everybody should be watching this. It is. It is very much being talked about right now. It's already been picked up for a second season. Michael Crichton and his. Michael Crichton's estate had sued the Pit because Noah Wiley was on er. And then one of the writers and producers from ER also is a writer and a producer on this. So they're saying they stole the idea for er, But I saw a couple episodes of ER and I don't remember it being half as engaging as really the Pit. Yeah. Also I was in my 20s when the ER or 20s or 30s when ER came out. And I. Maybe it just wasn't that stage in my life when I could like, deal with it. Medical drama, I love this show. Watch it. But that, but there's a point here. There's never a point to the commercial break, but there's a point here. I have, for a long time on this show have wanted to find a way to wrap music into the show, but we are not equipped to actually play music on the show.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We're big music fans.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. We're big music fans. But the radio stations, you know, you listen to radio or you listen to Howard Stern or someone on Sirius, and they can play all the music they want because they have ASCAP licenses. They're able to do so. Those things are terribly expensive. And I looked into it because I really wanted to play music on the show, and it's just not a possibility. It's too expensive for the amount of Downloads, for all five downloads we have, it's like $70 million. But I'm going to take some chances here and there, and I'd like to share with you new music when I find it. Now, this music is not new, but this is a fantastic song. I'm going to give you the name of a band, and I'm going to let you listen to a song that was the opening song to the Pit. Oh, okay.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You know, those people that control the music on shows now are doing a really good job.

[Brian Green]

It's the only place you can find music these days. Do you know what I'm saying? But they do do a great job because I think the cost of playing some of this music has come way down. And there are more licensees, like musicians, artists, people who own these rights that are willing to put this music in shows for cheaper prices because they know it will lead to more streams.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It does. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And that's the name of the game. When I was a kid, you would have never heard a Beatles commercial, a Beatles song in a cereal commercial, fucking Frosted Flakes and let it be. Really. But that has all changed. The landscape of music has completely changed to the point where it's so impossible to make money selling albums that these people have to make money anywhere they can. They're willing to license these songs out, and I think they do it for a much more reasonable rate. And the people who are putting the music in these shows are really good at what they do. They find, like, these little unknown artists, and they can blow. One commercial or television show can blow them up. Okay, ready? Opening to the Pit. I'm going to say a name of an artist, and I want you. I want to know if you have ever heard the name of this band.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Robert Bradley's Blackwater Surprise. I have.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

All right, Here is the opening to the Pit.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He's really good.

[Brian Green]

This got me. Because honestly, I wasn't even considering watching the Pit. And then I saw the little trailer for it, and then I pressed play, and this was the first thing I heard. And this wrote me in for the rest. For the rest of the Eight shows that are out so far. Honestly, I wish this had played the whole episode. I just want to listen. I've listened to this for 15 hours.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Good stuff.

[Brian Green]

Have no idea what this has to do with medical drama, but it's so good. Yeah, it's so good. It draws you into the first episode. And there's, like, shots of Pittsburgh and riding over the river, and it's. How you gonna turn a television show off if it's got this at the beginning? Am I right? Yes. Am I right?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You're right.

[Brian Green]

So Robert Bradley, speaking of Love is blind. Robert Bradley is a blind man. And the way that this band got started is the guy. The other members of the band wanted to start, like a grunge band back in the 90s. They were like that grungy kind of thing. Everybody was in it, but they were really bad.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

They weren't on 33p level.

[Brian Green]

They were definitely not Chopper Johnson material. They were in a practice space, I think, in New Orleans. They were in a practice rehearsal space and on a break or getting ready to practice or whatever. The lead guitarist heard Robert Bradley singing in another studio space. The window was open. He could hear him through the window. And then he came out later, he heard him through the window again, and then hours later, Robert Bradley still singing. And so he convinced him to come and sing for the band, to sing with the music. And this is what came out of it. And some of this. Some of the music that these guys put out is just fantastically soulful. And Robert's got that voice that I think only a blind man from New Orleans can have. Honestly, if I'm being. You know, if you think about it for two seconds, that's a million years worth of life experience in that voice. And I just got me. I'm convinced I'll watch the pit for at least one episode.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm sensitive to hear that.

[Brian Green]

And the funny thing is, there is not another drop of music in the entire series. That's it. One song. That's it. But whoever made that choice, whoever picked that song, whoever got Robert Bradley shit, called the Robert Bradley whatevers and said, hey, can I use this song? Was 100% right. That that gets you through the first 15 seconds. And then you're involved. You're like, okay. And then the doctor walks into the ER and he starts his shift, and you're like, okay, well, I guess I'll just stay around for one hour. Yeah. Oh, man. And it comes out every Thursday. Fuck you, Hulu. I mean, not Hulu, Max. Fuck you. I Just want to watch all 15 hours. Is that okay? I would burn through that show. I really would. Anyway, love is Blind, the Pit. I would suggest the Pit before Love is Blind, but you know, they're both medical dramas in some way, shape or form. All right, let's take a break and I gotta talk to you about something that is crazy. Something crazy has returned.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What?

[Brian Green]

I will blow your mind when we get back.

[Rachel]

Let me do something Brian has never done.

[Brian Green]

Be brief.

[Rachel]

Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-4333, tcb. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercialbreak and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult now was it? You're welcome.

[Brian Green]

Okay, are you ready for some of the craziest news you will hear? Music related, festival related? I think so this year or maybe ever. Do we all remember freaking the way fuck out back in 2020 when some douche canozle, some scam artist decided to put together something called Fyre Fest?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Brian Green]

Fire fest.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The there's two documentaries.

[Brian Green]

Ignominious festival that never was the best festival that never happened on the Pablo Escobar's private island with, you know, swimming, pigs, baloney sandwiches and tents that weren't set up and artists that didn't show and you know, basically the total shit show that almost killed some people, honestly left them out in the middle of this island without infrastructure, water, food, and certainly no festival, certainly no music. And this guy went to jail. He did, because he raised a lot of money. And that money went where no one really knows it went to. Just trying to put together a festival that was clearly short of the mark. Short of any mark like this. Yeah, this wasn't a. This wasn't worthy of a dive bar, let alone an actual festival on a private island where people paid tens of thousands of dollars to get pampered for an entire five days. They didn't even get a pot to piss in. And lots of people were pissed and lots of people were stuck and lots of people were put in really tough situations, bad situations, by this one guy. Now let me tell you how this has to do with the commercial break. About three years ago, I get an email.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We're our own fire fest.

[Brian Green]

We're our Own Fyre Fest. And like moths to a flame, shitheads beget shitheads. Because about three years ago, I started getting communication from a guy who claimed to be one of the new executive producers for Fyre Fest 2.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, they're trying to bring it back.

[Brian Green]

They did bring it back. It is back. I mean, that's what they say, right? Let me give you the. Let me give you the skinny on this. They have not announced one artist because I'm sure no artist would attach themselves to this.

[Rachel]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Who would attach themselves?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

I don't know either. But I can't imagine it's going to be anybody worth seeing. I'm sure that there is somebody out there who, if they get the money, they will go do it, because it's hard to make money in music. You know what I'm saying? So maybe they'll. Maybe they'll decide to. Decide to do it. Okay. So three years ago, I start getting communication from a guy who will remain nameless, and he starts telling me that he would like to put this guy who had just gotten out of jail on our show. Could he come on our show? Do you remember this? Okay. And we communicate for a long time about this. We go back and forth. I'm trying to make a decision about whether or not this makes sense for the show, whether or not we want to even get involved.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. Was this before he went to jail?

[Brian Green]

This was after he got out.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

After he got out of jail. Okay.

[Brian Green]

Remember, he only spent, like a year in jail.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Fireface. Hold on one second. I just want to. I want to make sure that I get some of these facts right. So this guy communicates with me for about a month, and I. He says they're going to put together a prep show for Fyre Fest 2 at a secret location somewhere in New York. And if you allow Billy to come on your podcast, Billy McFarland, the guy who actually created this, the guy who went to jail, if you allow him to come on your podcast, then I can get you one ticket to this. Like, Fire Fest to prep concert, whatever he's trying to put together, like a satellite show or something. Right.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

There were. They were going to make this big deal. I don't think that ever happened. You could get a ticket to that. I will get you one ticket to that at face value. So Billy was going to come on the show, make an announcement about Firefox Fest or whatever it was to Fire Scam Fest to, and then I was going to have the privilege of paying Billy to Go to his show. Thousands of dollars to go to his show. But then I couldn't say anything bad. I could ask questions, but I, you know, I couldn't shit on Fyre Fest. Whatever. It became this long, complicated conversation where clearly this guy was trying to get money out of me. He was trying to get me to pay him to have Billy on the show. Now, you're probably saying to yourself, Brian, do you even think Billy was involved in any of these conversations, or is this just some guy who decided, you know, I found. I'm trying to. I found a sucker, essentially. Well, I had been cc'd on multiple emails with Billy, and Billy responded on at least one occasion. And while I don't know Billy's specific email address for sure, 100% sure, seemed like it was Billy's email address, let's just put it that way. Right? So Billy was trying to get money out of podcasters like me. I assume this. I'm not the only one to then go and put his little shit fest together. And he hadn't even paid back the people who got fucked over the first time. That's right. He's trying to make money. And as a matter of fact, I think our good friend Andrew Callahan, if I'm not mistaken, all gas, no brakes, found Billy McFarlane and found out that he was acting as a ticket broker for prestigious concerts and events. And he was making. Trying to make thousands or tens of thousands of dollars reselling concert tickets after he got out of jail. And they actually almost sent him back to jail because he wasn't allowed to do that. He was using other people's credit cards to do that or whatever it was. This guy is trouble. I mean, I get it. Second chances. I agree with it. I've had plenty of second chances in life myself. This, and I'm sure I'll have a few more before I'm dead. This, the commercial break has had 30 second chances in its life. We are the little podcast that couldn't. But this guy Billy, is notoriously dumb at what he does. And if you pay for Fyre Fest 2, you are just as dumb. Don't give this guy your money. Don't do that, because he is going to disappoint you. There will be no Fyre Fest 2 in the way in which he envisions it or tries to sell it to you. He's a good salesperson. He doesn't follow through on what he says he's going to do time after time. And he's always trying to build people out of Money. That's clearly Billy's game. You want to take a guess at how much these tickets are?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Sure. About $2,000.

[Brian Green]

For one Fyre Fest general access pass. It is fourteen hundred dollars. What does that get you, you might ask Chrissy?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The basics.

[Brian Green]

I can't even get through this website because it's some complicated, you know, slick website. I think there is also a level of tickets where you need to fill out an application. Fill out an application. Fill out an application.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's his thing, right? He tries to make everything seem very exclusive.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, very exclusive indeed. Okay. For this you will get access. Includes access to the festival grounds on Isa Mujeres at the water stage. Transportation will be provided from our preferred hotel locations. The Fire ignite package grants four day access to the Fyre Fest May 2, May 30 through June 2. Doesn't it seem like it's like there's not a lot of time to be selling those tickets? Yeah, this is going to be a shit show, no doubt about it. You have to get your own travel, you have to get your own accommodations. But then there's another level of tickets, Chrissy, which I think is probably more suited to us. If we're going to go to Fyre Fest, this is what we're going to do. We're going to do the Fuego VIP experience. We're going to do the Fuego experience. And what's that going to include? Let's see here. That is going to include access to Isla Mujeres. Isla Mujeres. We're going to get to explore, embrace the unknown and defy impossible alongside some of the most fascinating people in the world. Oh, my God. I don't know what this gets you. Besides that. Really?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Access to the most fascinating people in the world.

[Brian Green]

Access to the most fascinating people in the world. And I'm paying 20. I am paying for that. I. I will pay. How much is that? That's $5,000. That's what I'll pay for a ticket. Yes, Your own exclusive getaway. But I can get the Phoenix artist access for $25,000. $25,000. Now, to be fair, this does include private travel, so you can. This website, by the way, Billy, is terrible. It's terrible. Who uses Flash anymore? Honestly? You're using Flash, dude. Stop it. Make a website that doesn't take up all the resources on your. On your computer. Okay. Fire Phoenix package grants four day Phoenix access to the Fyre Festival. And that's all it says. Clearly this can't be true. Why? You don't get anything else, but that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Sounds like a deal to me.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, fuck that. I'm not going to do that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You don't even know who the artists are.

[Brian Green]

Oh. Phoenix passes include complimentary luxury accommodations for two in the fire artist areas at the five star Impressions Isla Mujeres or the five star Almalade Isla Mujeres for three nights. One king or two doubles. Private ground transportation to and from the Cancun airport or the fire ferry. And the fire concierge will reach out to the Phoenix pass holders to assist with travel and accommodations. Okay, so you get your travel. Commercial flights are ready. Oh, you don't even get travel on this one. It says commercial flights are readily available in and out of the Cancun airport. Fuck you. Fuck you. So that's all I get.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I can't wait to see how this goes down.

[Brian Green]

Oh. Now added the Prometheus Package for $1.1 million. Yes. Prometheus Guests will live like the gods of fire. Prometheus pass holders have their accommodations provided by fire and they will have the option of a four stateroom yacht or a luxurious four bedroom villa with immediate proximity and access to play a fire and festival grounds for three nights from Friday to Monday. The fire concierge will reach out to you for to coordinate your ultimate stay. You will also be flown in and out on private. On a private plane. I mean, there's a sucker born every minute. I know that. There's a sucker born every minute. I get it. And I also get that there are going to be some people on this earth who just can't pass it up in the year of Doji and dogecoin and hawk to a, you know, to a coin and all this other stuff. There are some people who have money who probably should have never had money and they're willing to spend it just to be involved in something notorious like this. So I do have a feeling that Billy will sell tickets to this even though he has announced no artist. Yeah, no one knows who's going to be there. And you're going to pay someone $1.1 million to take a private plane down to Cancun and stay for only four nights on a four stateroom yacht. I promise.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And what do you do? Like fill out? Like just check. Yes, I want this $1 million package.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Run your Amex.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

My credit card.

[Brian Green]

Run your Amex one. Run your Amex to Billy's personal zell. That's right. I mean, Honestly, guys, for $1.1 million, you could rent a four stateroom yacht in can you could fly privately, probably for $50,000. A nice plane for $50,000 down to Cancun, Atlanta to Cancun and back. A really nice plane, like a 12 seater, like the kind you see in rap videos. You know what I'm saying? You get down there, you can probably rent a yacht.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

For 20 days, fully staffed, and go anywhere you want to in that Yucatan Peninsula and come home with $500,000 in your pockets. I promise you, it does not cost $1.1 million to rent a yacht for four nights and be at a festival where no one's playing. There's no one announced. Why would you do that? I don't know. Billy. I'm sure that somebody likes him. But I'm gonna tell you right now, don't give your money to these people, because you will end up being disappointed. $1.1 million. Give the commercial break $1.1 million, and we will turn off the RSS feed and the commercial break. You can put whatever name you want on it. And Chrissy and I will do an episode every day for the next five years just to you. That's it. That's what you get for $1.1 million. And I think that's a much better deal than staying on a yacht for four days in a festival that no one's going to play at. You know what I'm saying? Is it going to be 33p acoustically? What? Who's going to play there?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I can't believe that he's doing this again.

[Brian Green]

I can't believe someone's letting him do this. I mean, I guess, you know, who's going to stop you from doing it? But I can't believe the people down in Mexico haven't seen the movies. They're not like, ah, you know, we should get a deposit. We should get a deposit.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Surely they have.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And I think that Billy is probably hedging his bet. He's waiting for people to buy tickets so that then he can pay artists to get down there. That's why he hasn't announced anybody, because what festival in the world starts selling tickets in artists? I know that there's like, Bonnaroo's been going on for the thousands of years, and it'll probably be the last thing remaining when the fucking, you know, asteroid comes down to earth will probably all be at Bonnaroo. And so they sell tickets year round, even before they announce. But they have a track record of treating you right. They have a track record of doing this. They have a track record of being successful at getting really fucking good artists year after year, time after time. Billy has zero track record of anybody even showing up to play on a stage. Why would you trust that he's going to give you the best experience ever? What is the experience? Being in a hotel in Mexico for $25,000?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Fuck you. Fuck you. I don't believe it. I don't take it. Can you believe this?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, I can't believe this. That being said, wait to see how it ends.

[Brian Green]

That being said, I am going to email this guy that I was talking to a couple of years ago and see if we can get a couple of tickets to go down there. Yeah, because it was going to turn into a shit show. I want to be there.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Right?

[Brian Green]

We get documented all here on the commercial.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm sure a lot of people want to do that.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. Oh, you know there's going to be. Yeah, there's probably media requests out the ass. And after this rant, I'm sure we won't be invited, but we'll try nonetheless. Okay, we'll take a break and we'll be back.

[Rachel]

Rachel here. While Brian takes his old man bladder to the little boys room. Let's talk turkey. TCB needs your help. If you love the show, do us all a favor and share. Sharing is caring. And we know you care, don't you? Well, don't you? Ooh, that was some childhood trauma rearing its ugly head. Do you want to be on the show? Leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3822 and you could be the next TCD disembodied voice. Ooh, what'd you do today? I was a disembodied voice. You know, that sounds more dangerous than it actually is. Find us on Insta at the commercial break on the [e-mail] and all the episodes on video are available the same [e-mail] thecommercial break. I'm gonna go help Brian get back up the stairs.

[Brian Green]

Stairs.

[Rachel]

While you listen to the sponsors. And then we'll all meet back here and get back to this episode of the commercial break. I'll take a raise now, bitches. Bye.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so I wanted to follow up on a conversation that we had a couple of days ago about the Rock and roll hall of Fame.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

The band is not Mania. It's mana. And they are very famous Mexican rock and roll band. Nice. And Astrid saw them when she was a kid and she really loved them. And so I got myself educated about them. And their music. They're older. They're like, you know, they're like the Bad Company, probably. And not. They're like the Zeppelin, you know, they're older.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

They're loved. They've got million. I mean, they've got billions of streams on Spotify. So clearly they're very popular. And they are in this year's rock and roll nomination class. And that means that the Academy, the Rock and Roll hall of Fame academy or voting class, is currently voting on who should get in. And I think they elect five every year if I'm induct five every year, if I'm not mistaken. And then you can vote. We, the public can vote also. You can vote up to seven times.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, I didn't realize we could vote.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you can vote up to seven times. It might even be seven times per day. And go the Rock and Roll hall of Fame website and vote. But I think there's like a couple thousand members that vote, I believe. And our vote only counts for one of those votes. So it is a. It's like, it's almost a joke at the end of the day. Right. I get why they're doing it, but you don't have any real effect on. On what happens. But I thought that I would get an update on where we stand with the voting.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Green]

With just a couple of days left to vote, I thought we should get in the game here. Right. Okay. Currently, Fish are in the lead. After just a couple weeks of voting, 101,000 fans have voted as one of the 14 nominating classes at one of the 14 nominees for the class of 2025. This is the first time that the group has been nominated. Billy Idol is in second. There are so many people on this earth that aren't well, Billy Idol, of all the people, Billy Idol, honestly.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But maybe then you think about, like, who the people are who would go to the Rock and Roll hall of Fame website and vote just like I did. I voted for Outkast, by the way. Soundgarden is in third place with 57,000 votes, followed by Cyndi Lauper, Bad Company, Joe Cocker, Chubby Checker. So far down the list, that's a joke. The Black Crows are on the back. Lead the back half. Half of the list with 39,000. Mariah Carey, 36,000. Outcast is 35,000. Oasis is 32,000. Joy Division is 31,000, while the White Stripes are at 31,000.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Really? I'm surprised.

[Brian Green]

And Mana comes in with just 12,000 artists. Historians. Okay, so there's 1200 people who vote, and ours counts as one vote. That's kind of a joke. Like, they should. They should make it one artist get, like, allow the public to vote first. Whoever gets. Whoever wins is inducted. And then they get. And then the other people, the other 1500 people, 1200 people who vote on it, then they get to vote the other four. That feels like it would. Then it was meaningful to me. And I think you get a lot more people to vote on it if that was the case, because I'm tallying all of that up. If you can vote seven times, maybe seven times in a day, and there's only like five or six hundred thousand votes that have been cast, that's not like a huge amount of votes that are being cast. But if. If they said, okay, now you're going to induct one of the five. Yeah, then I would be much more involved in it. Yeah, I'd actually want to go and vote. I agree that Fish should be inducted. It's their first. Their. It's their first class inductees. If they do get inducted, I don't agree with the rest of the way that this is going down. Chrissy and I told you guys, this Fish, Joe Cocker, Chubby Checker, White Stripes, White Stripes, Outcast, Those are the people who absolutely need to be in. Soundgarden will come around again. They will be in. Don't worry.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I listened to that album the other day on my way out.

[Brian Green]

That motor fake. Oh, man, is it good? Oh, man, is it good? Life changing, actually, just the way that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It'S a lot of young Brian getting in the car, driving, listening to it.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I didn't drive until I was. I didn't have a license until I was 18.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You said you drove across the country listening to it.

[Brian Green]

I drove across the country with other people. No, I wasn't driving with other people. Driving. Yeah, but man, was. I mean, that was like a transformative album. I just absolutely loved it. So, yeah, Soundgarden will get in, and I agree that they deserve to get in, but Joe Cocker has had to. This has got to be his 30th time being nominated. I mean, for God's sakes, how many times are we going to nominate Joe Cocker before he gets in? Or Chubby Checker even. He was around in the 50s. This has got to be his 30th year being nominated. Chubby fucking Checker. He did the twist kids.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, he started it.

[Brian Green]

Or was that Little Richard?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, it was Chubby Checker.

[Brian Green]

And what did Little Richard do.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, tons of stuff. Yeah, Good golly miss Molly Tons, tons of stuff.

[Brian Green]

Sure got to go. Good girl. Tutti Frutti Tootie fruity oh, Rudy Tootie fruity oh, Rudy. I'm telling you why I did not like Tutti Frutti is because when I was in the band playing my sexyphone full of saliva and spit flying everywhere. When I was playing my sexyphone, I had to play. Tutti Frutti was one of the songs that we played at the football games. Yes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm thinking with the band.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And that 150 times over and over and over again while the, you know, they set up the next play. Whatever they do in football. That. And that's why Brian did his best to avoid Friday nights at the stadium in high school. Yeah, I was sick. I wasn't there. I was in disguise. I would not show up to the band, but I would show up to the game and like not go in the stadium so I couldn't be seen by my band director. I mean, I did everything I could to get out of those. Not because I was embarrassed to be in the band. You know, it was neither here nor there. I wasn't particularly a popular kid in school anyway.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I just wanted to have fun.

[Brian Green]

I just wanted to have fun. I didn't want to be. I didn't want my Friday nights taken by.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What did you think it was going to be? Getting into the band?

[Brian Green]

I thought it was going to be.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What do you think you were going to do with the band?

[Brian Green]

Have sex? I don't know. I thought there were going to be hot man chicks playing the flute and I was going to get. I was gonna get in their first chair, if you know what I mean. I thought I was gonna wet their reed. Do you know what I'm saying? Like I.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, you did it for the looks.

[Brian Green]

I had to take an elective. I had, you know, my parents encouraged us to do things outside of school, you know, like any parents do. You try and be a well rounded person. I loved music. There was no doubt about that. I had a passion for it. I was playing that loud guitar horribly at home for hours on end. And I think that I just wanted to direct that energy somewhere in the band. Seemed like the natural place to do that. At least I got to play the all the way. But I didn't want to fully commit to everything band had to do. Like I liked to go to Busch Gardens every year for the band stuff for the band, you know, the band camp, whatever. It was a band Challenge or whatever it was, you know, that cost my dad $10,000 so I could go and smoke cigarettes and avoid any responsibilities with the band for five days. I liked that kind of stuff. But the Friday nights at football, years in a row, it was. I just, you know, it was kind of a little much for me. I actually wanted to see what the other kids were doing when I was sitting there. And then every year, nothing like showing.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Up in disguise to really hang out.

[Brian Green]

I swear to God, I swear to God, I do remember a specific night. And my band director would get on my ass. His name was Mr. Poole and he was a really a lovely guy. And he was just trying to guide a very wild child into some kind of responsibility. And he could be tough, right? I think he was a man of a certain flavor, if you know what I mean. I think he. I think he was, you know, I think he liked other men. That's what. That's what I think. And so he was very effeminate in his movements, his actions and his voice. But you could he. You were just as scared of him as you were of the senior varsity football coach. Because when he meant business, he meant business.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And he got. He could get an ornery real quick. And it kind of scared me a little bit. And so he would always, like, jerk a knot in my chain. He called me into the office, you know, where were you on Friday night? And I'd be like, I was Mr. Poole. I really was not. This is the third Friday night you are not feeling good. So the next Friday night that you're not feeling good, you're going to be leading scales in the class for the next two weeks. And I didn't know my scales, so I didn't want to lead scales. No one wanted to lead scales. So I was like, oh, shit. And then. So I remember one night, I was stoned out of my brain. It was Friday night, the game started at 7:30. It was like 6:30, 6:45. And I knew I had to go there, but I was too stoned to do it. Like, I was just too stoned. And all my friends were going to the game. So what did I do? I never wore a baseball cap. I still don't. Very rarely I wear a baseball cap. I put on a baseball cap. I put on some, you know, baggy clothes and I went in and I, like stood in the back. I had no fun whatsoever. I was paranoid. And one of the girls in the band recognized me and she was like, shouldn't you grab your saxophone? And I Was like, huh? I didn't bring it, huh? No. I don't think I understood what she said. She was like. I was like. And I just. I ran. I ran out of the place. I was like, I was too scared. And she kept my secret. Thank you very much for keeping. Yeah, it was. But I say if there were like, you know, 10 home football. Seven, eight, 10 home football games a year, Mr. Pool was lucky if Brian showed up to two of them. Two of them. But I'll tell you what I did show up to. I always showed up to the graduation ceremonies, which were at the Atlanta Symphony hall. In these huge Symphony hall. Huge, right? Yeah. And we would have to sit on stage and play that fucking song, the March of the Whatever, you know.

[Tina Tan and Tweeze Announcer]

We.

[Brian Green]

Would have to play that while every single graduating student came up and got their degree. And even though the school much smaller, like two hours. But I liked it because it gave me and my first chair friend a chance to go downtown, smoke cigarettes around the building and fuck off for a couple of hours. And kids, that's really what's important in high school. Smoking cigarettes and fucking off for hours. Believe me. More good advice from Uncle Brian.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, yes, the good old days.

[Brian Green]

Oh, man, the good old days. Honestly, I pine for that. You do? I don't know. I don't really, but, I mean, I didn't realize how good it was back then to have a home that was paid for, electricity that came on, no matter who paid the price bill, you know, I didn't have to worry about working. You know, work was essentially just for fun money, you know, smoking cigarettes wasn't going to kill you. They didn't know that back then. You know what I'm saying?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Just like I tell my kids all the time, don't try and grow up. Don't try and grow up. It's okay. Just enjoy it. Like, don't worry about the next thing. Don't worry about, you know, what mommy and daddy are talking about. Don't try and grow up. It's just.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Turn the lights off.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, turn the lights off and go to fuck to bed. Stop throwing up on my shoulder.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Listen. You know, you get to a certain point in life and you realize just how good you had it back in the day. Yeah, but I digress. The truth is, kids, I should have followed through on my responsibilities and shown up and played on Friday Night Football because that would been the right thing to do. But then I wouldn't be the same lazy, mediocre comedy podcaster I am today. You wouldn't that's right. Canceling recordings every fifth day. I don't want to do it today. 212-433-TCB 212-433-3822. That's where you can leave us text messages, questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas we'd love to hear from you. We will respond. Or you can leave a voicemail and maybe you'll hear your voice on the next episode of the commercial break. How's that? How's that for a deal, right? You don't have to sit that one out. Go leave us a voicemail. I'll cut it up in weird ways and make you sound strange at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok. And do us a favor, go watch our show after you finish listening to our show, YouTube.com the commercial break for all the episodes the same day. They ear here on they air here on the audio fear here, the air here, hair on the audio feed and tcb podcast.com all the audio, all the video and your free tcb swag. Give us your address. We'll send you some. No musk, no fuss. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Think so?

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you that I love you.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say goodbye.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

All right, put them up.