Kickstart My Heart!

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break – Episode "Kickstart My Heart!" (Released March 12, 2025)

Overview

In the "Kickstart My Heart!" episode of The Commercial Break, hosts Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley navigate a whirlwind of topics ranging from the dubious revival of Fyre Fest to personal health anecdotes, body image trends, and unconventional relationship dynamics. True to their improvisational and unpolished style, Bryan and Krissy deliver a blend of dark humor, candid discussions, and sharp critiques, making for an engaging and thought-provoking listen.

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1. The Fyre Fest 2 Controversy

Timeline: 05:43 - 25:52

The episode kicks off with a heated discussion about the announcement of Fyre Fest 2 by infamous promoter Billy McFarland. Bryan provides a detailed critique of the festival's credibility, highlighting several red flags that suggest another problematic event is on the horizon.

• Lack of Transparency: Bryan points out that Billy McFarland has failed to provide a concrete location for Fyre Fest 2, only supplying vague latitude and longitude coordinates that place the event in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico. He remarks, "He put the latitude longitude. It is literally in the Gulf of Mexico." (10:20).

• Unverified Partnerships: The hosts express skepticism about the claimed partnerships with hotels and production companies. Bryan notes, "There's no actual location. There are no actually actual artists that have been announced." (13:10).

• Exorbitant Pricing: Bryan criticizes the exorbitant ticket prices ranging from $1,400 to $1 million, questioning the value offered. He sarcastically states, "Don’t ask me why they invited him on there, but okay, they go, because it's a story." (08:22).

• Media Scrutiny: The duo discusses McFarland's appearance on Good Morning America and how the media has quickly debunked the festival's legitimacy. Bryan muses, "This is not happening. It's not going to happen unless Billy gets his shit together."< (18:36).

• Expert Opinion: They conclude that Fyre Fest 2 is likely another ill-conceived venture doomed to fail, urging listeners to stay away: "Don’t buy Fyre Fest two tickets. That's a little piece of advice from your friends here at the commercial break." (25:22).

Notable Quotes:

• Bryan Green (10:20): "Billy McFarland has announced Fyre Fest 2. It has long been brewing, but he has no concrete plans."
• Bryan Green (13:10): "He didn't put the actual location of the festival. It's somewhere in the middle of the ocean."
• Bryan Green (25:22): "Don’t buy Fyre Fest two tickets. Shame on anyone who does."

2. Personal Health Anecdotes: Heart Monitoring Experience

Timeline: 05:43 - 48:56

Shifting from festival fiascos, Bryan opens up about his recent experience with heart monitoring due to concerns about premature ventricular contractions (PVCs). This segment delves into his anxiety over health issues and the cumbersome process of wearing a heart monitor.

• Appointment Frustrations: Bryan recounts the cumbersome process of obtaining a heart monitor, criticizing the outdated technology and inefficiency of the medical system. He humorously describes the monitor as, "a clunky piece of wiry shit that I've got to wear around for seven days." (36:58).

• Physical Discomfort: He shares his discomfort with the wires and suction cups required for the monitor, leading to an embarrassing incident at a child's birthday party where he felt like he had a bomb strapped to his chest. Bryan quips, "It looks like I have a bomb. That's what it looks like." (43:32).

• Medical Insights: Despite the awkwardness, Bryan learns that his heart condition is not severe, relieving him but continuing to poke fun at his own hypersensitivity. He reflects, "You've got to be so in like, you gotta be like the most enlightened human being in the world." (47:35).

Notable Quotes:

• Bryan Green (36:58): "It's a clunky piece of wiry shit that I've got to wear around for seven days."
• Bryan Green (43:32): "It looks like I have a bomb. That's what it looks like."
• Bryan Green (47:35): "You gotta be so in like, you gotta be like the most enlightened human being in the world."

3. "Puffy Pussy" and Vaginal Enhancements

Timeline: 50:31 - 66:18

The conversation takes a bold turn as Bryan and Rachel delve into the controversial trend of vaginal injectables, colloquially referred to as "Puffy Pussy." They explore the motivations behind such procedures, the potential dangers, and societal perceptions of female genital aesthetics.

• Procedure Breakdown: Bryan explains the procedure where injectables are used to enhance the labia for a fuller appearance, aiming to promote the "camel toe" look. He humorously imagines, "If you could actually see my penis, if I plumped it up with something, I might do that." (50:31).

• Risks and Ethics: The hosts highlight the severe risks associated with unverified injectables, citing cases where individuals suffered complications from substandard products. Bryan shares, "There are doctors... injecting silicone bought at Home Depot for tiles. She ended up in the hospital, all kind of sick." (52:48).

• Cultural Impact: They discuss the normalization of such enhancements in media and fashion, noting the hypersexualization of body parts like nipples and labia. Bryan observes, "Camel toes are seeing their moment right now." (54:29).

• Personal Stance: Both hosts express reservations about the necessity and safety of these procedures, advocating for personal choice while cautioning against unnecessary risks. Rachel adds, "Definitely go to a trained professional. To each their own." (56:05).

Notable Quotes:

• Bryan Green (50:31): "Some women are getting these injectables into their outer labia so that they can enhance the camel toe."
• Bryan Green (52:48): "If you could see my penis, if I plumped it up with something, I might do that."
• Rachel (56:05): "Definitely go to a trained professional. To each their own."

4. Trends in Fashion and Body Image

Timeline: 57:03 - 66:18

Bryan and Rachel transition to discussing broader trends in fashion, particularly the emphasis on visible nipples and camel toes in contemporary media and fashion shows.

• Visibility of Nips and Camel Toes: They highlight how figures like Chappelle Roan are normalizing the display of nipples in fashion settings, linking it to shifts in societal norms regarding body image. Bryan notes, "Camel toes are seeing their moment right now." (54:29).

• Media Influence: The hosts critique the role of influencers and fashion industries in perpetuating these trends, questioning the balance between self-expression and objectification. Bryan muses, "My algorithm is not for children. This platform is not for children." (55:38).

• Cultural Acceptance: While acknowledging the natural beauty of body parts, they debate the fine line between confidence and the hypersexualization of certain features. Bryan states, "If it's for you, and it's something that you really like, do what you're gonna do." (55:37).

Notable Quotes:

• Bryan Green (54:29): "Camel toes are seeing their moment right now."
• Rachel (55:38): "To each their own."
• Bryan Green (55:37): "Do what you're gonna do."

5. Unconventional Relationship Dynamics: Throuples and Open Marriages

Timeline: 65:01 - 68:56

In one of the final segments, the hosts explore the complexities of throuples and open marriages, referencing reality shows like 90 Day Fiance and Couples Therapy to illustrate their points.

• Throuples on Reality TV: Bryan discusses the challenges faced by throuples, emphasizing the emotional turmoil and logistical complications that arise from having multiple romantic partners. He shares insights from 90 Day Fiance, pointing out the detrimental effects on relationships and family dynamics. He humorously remarks, "I am still madly in love with my wife. I just kindly request she doesn't sleep with other men." (62:37).

• Personal Experiences and Observations: The hosts recount anecdotes of friends who have attempted throuples, noting that such arrangements often lead to relationship strain and potential breakups. Bryan reflects, "They stopped all the, you know, open marriage bullshit. It wasn't a great idea." (63:21).

• Cultural Perspectives: They consider cultural differences, suggesting that non-traditional relationship structures may fare better in certain societies, such as French or Italian communities, before backtracking with sarcastic remarks about reality TV depictions. Bryan quips, "They’re French people and they're much smarter than us." (65:58).

Notable Quotes:

• Bryan Green (62:37): "I just kindly request she doesn't sleep with other men."
• Bryan Green (63:21): "They stopped all the, you know, open marriage bullshit. It wasn't a great idea."
• Bryan Green (65:58): "They’re French people and they're much smarter than us."

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Conclusion

In "Kickstart My Heart!" Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley deliver a multifaceted episode that seamlessly weaves humor with critical commentary on current societal trends and personal experiences. From debunking Fyre Fest 2 to dissecting body image standards and relationship dynamics, the hosts provide listeners with a candid and entertaining exploration of diverse topics. Their ability to balance skepticism, personal anecdotes, and sharp wit ensures that the episode is both informative and highly engaging for those who enjoy unfiltered and irreverent discussions.

Final Thoughts: Bryan and Krissy continue to embody their podcast's signature chaotic charm, offering a space where unconventional topics are tackled with both humor and honesty. Their insightful critiques, combined with personal stories, make "Kickstart My Heart!" a standout episode that encourages listeners to think critically while enjoying the ride.

Transcript

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[Barbara Ballbanger]

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[Dr. Judy Schlitznitz]

And welcome back to WSHIT's Cupid's Corner. It's 11:37pm on the studio clock here on a chilly, rainy Saturday. Crabapple Evening. Hi, I'm your host Barbara Ballbanger, the fourth sister wife of Pastor Bill Ballbanger. I'm here along with my co host, Crabapple's number one marriage and sex therapist, Dr. Judy Schlitznitz. Every Saturday we take listener questions, read your emails and give advice on your relationship concerns. Let's review an email we just got here in the studio. This listener is calling herself Chastity. Chastity asks Dear Dr. Schlitznitz, I've been in a relationship, a serious relationship, for the last four years with My boyfriend, however, last week I uncovered some concerning text messages on his phone and discovered he was having coital relationships with both my mother and my grandfather. Very concerning Chastity. And while I certainly have my own thoughts on this, let's turn to the expert. Dr. Schlitznitz, any advice for Chastity in what must be a very confusing and painful time for her?

[Rachel]

You find yourself over in the corner crying because if a man don't love.

[Dr. Judy Schlitznitz]

You anymore, maybe because he's already got some love somewhere else, and you just crying over a man with his thousands of fishes in the pool, when you.

[Rachel]

Can find one that would just give.

[Dr. Judy Schlitznitz]

You everything you want to do. But he ain't gonna cheat on you and give you all the things that you want. You just gotta learn how to get some things for yourself. Bye. Well, that's certainly one way to look at it. In our family we have a saying. If you kissed her, invite her to be your sister. Make lemons out of lemonade, Chastity. Okay, we'll be back with more Cupid's Corner after this commercial.

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the commercial break. Nothing like having a 24 year old beautiful nurse shave your hairy fat chest so she can get the suction cups on. Okay, I get all the suction cups on and I'm walking out of the place and I notice that under my shirt, it just looks like I. I'm sorry. It looks like I have a bomb. That's what it looks like. It looks like I'm in Ireland during the troubles. They look. I look like an IRA member. Thank God I didn't have to go to the airport. Thank God. Thank God. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris Joy Hoadley.

[Chris Ash]

Best to you, Chris Ash.

[Brian Green]

Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. I came in there a little hot. I'm sad.

[Rachel]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

Getting used to. I'm just getting used to things. It's new in here and I'm getting used to it. I looked last night, I was sitting in this chair and I was doing like some tech checks, figuring out how many things were gonna go wrong.

[Rachel]

Wires together.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. Look at the amount of wires that. And then it's just a whole mess. It's a whole thing. We really need, like, we need Odyssey to come in here and clean this shit up for us. That should be in our next contract negotiation. Help Us figure out wires in our studio because you know that at least half of these don't do anything. They're just hanging down, hoping at some day to be useful to somebody. And that's. That's probably never gonna happen. Sorry, guys. It's probably never gonna happen. You're always gonna be hanging there doing that.

[Rachel]

I'll take a five Hour Energy and come in here and get to work.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. We have more five Hour Energies than we know what to do with. If you want a five Hour Energy, let us know. We'll send you a few. Thank you to five Hour Energy. By the way, a sponsor of the show, love me some five Hour Energy. But we have a lot of five Hour Energy in here. You know, that's one of the. I mean, we don't get a lot of perks for being a middling comedy podcast. It's not like, you know, we get red carpet invitations or anything like that.

[Rachel]

Huge gift bags.

[Brian Green]

Huge gift bag. No, no, no. None of that stuff. I wish. But what we do get on occasion is our sponsors are nice enough to send us some stuff like Dollar Shave Club. I got a really nice shaving kit from them with a bunch of stuff in it. It was. It was a really nice gift, actually. It was very well presented, very nice gift. But that's one of the very few things that you can like, say, oh, that's a perk of being a comedy podcast in the middle of the pack. But five Hour Energy was nice enough to send us a bunch of five Hour Energy.

[Rachel]

I mean, we might need to be talking to them about the sponsorship for the well.

[Brian Green]

That's true. For the well. We haven't really talked about this yet, but we'll get to it. But we are planning something big for our five years. Yeah, it's unannounced, but for our fifth year anniversary as a podcast, as a middling comedy podcast, we are planning something really big. So stay tuned. Well, we'll throw the name out there and then you guys can kind of figure out what it is. The 12 hours of TCB and then I'll let you chew on that until we have all of the details nailed down. And we are 100% sure that this is actually happening. It's probably best that we just leave it at probably.

[Rachel]

Probably a lot can happen in between.

[Brian Green]

Now, we're also working on a merch drop and all this other stuff, but I'm reluctant to say any of it because how many times in our history have we mentioned something that never happens? I mean, we had live shows until hours before we were supposed to be on stage. Until hours before we were supposed to be on stage. That came down to the very last minute. And anyway, I don't want to talk about all the things we haven't done. Let's talk about all the great things we are going to do. I'll tell you one thing we're not going to do. We will not likely be attending the Fyre Fest 2, because Fyre Fest 2, I don't think it's even happening. I'm going to give you weekly updates on this until it just falls all apart. And right now. So last week I mentioned that Fyre Fest 2 had been announced. They were selling tickets. The lowest price ticket is fort $1,400. They're doing it a little differently this time. You cannot, actually. I mean, I would hope. You would hope? Yeah.

[Rachel]

They needed to change.

[Brian Green]

Billy McFarland, who, of course spent time in jail for defrauding a bunch of people regarding Fyre Fest 1, got out of jail. He owes millions of dollars in restitution to the people who were left high and dry at the last festival. I need to tell you about Fyre festival. You remember 2020, the whole shit show? Yeah. There's been multiple documentaries made about this. And if you don't know what Fyre Fest is, then I don't even know what. How did you find a podcast? How did you press play on a podcast? But Billy is at it again. He has announced Fyre Fest 2. It has long been brewing. I know because I told the story about how someone in his organization supposedly. And I think it was true that they were in the organization. I think I even talked to Billy on email a few times. But they had been asking for a long time if Billy could come on the show and talk about Fyre Fest 2 or some derivative thereof. And I just decided it wasn't worth the trouble. I didn't want a platform. It wasn't worth the trouble. So Firefest. I know. I'm so glad that I never agreed to that. This is back when we weren't doing interviews either. And I'm really glad because the commercial break is not 60 Minutes. I mean, we're not even Dave Letterman. We're just like, you know, two buffoons asking people questions. And I think Billy really deserves a treatment, if you know what I mean. A fully vetted interview where all of the tough questions are asked and you hold his feet to the fire. And that's not us, because we're too nice for that. Despite what you might hear on air, we're actually pretty nice people. And we're not interested in like de skinning someone here on the air. Although if we. Skinning. Although if we were going to de skin somebody, it might be Billy McFarlane. So he announces, isn't it just skinning? I don't know. What do I know? That's another reason why I'm probably not best suited for this job. I don't even know the English language all that well. Anyway, Billy has announced Fyre Fest 2. Last week he and I announced it, or the week before. They put a website up. It's in flash. Did you see it?

[Rachel]

I've been. Yes. I've been reading different things about it too. And I mean, he's saying it's on. Everybody else is saying, let me share.

[Brian Green]

So he. So he announces this. I go to the website like I'm sure millions and millions of other people did, including people who still owed money by him. And the lowest price ticket is $1400. The highest price is $1 million. And for that you get a private flight to. From Miami to Cancun, which is, by the way, like an hour and a half flight. It's not even like you're flying over to Europe. It's an hour and a half flight on a private plane that you could probably rent for a hundred thousand or less. You could probably rent it for 50,000. It's eight tickets. And then you get to stay on a yacht, quote unquote, or a villa. So a couple things that Billy has done differently this time is he has decided no one can stay actually on the property overnight. There's no camping. You have to go to one of the hotels that is. That are closed.

[Rachel]

Right.

[Brian Green]

There's a couple problems with all of this that people, you know, it didn't take long to figure out, number one, he didn't put the actual location of the festival. He put latitude, longitude, like he did on the last festival that ended up being a private island once owned by, I don't know, Chapo Guzman or something like that. El Chapo. This time he puts the latitude longitude. It is literally in the Gulf of Mexico. Like when you put in the latitude longitude, it's in the Gulf of Mexico. It's not even on land. It's somewhere in the middle of the ocean. So not really specific about where this is going to be. He named some hotels that he has relationships with that are going to give discounted, you know, fare or whatever. I mean, $1400. Nothing is discounted. I'm promising you this. You don't even get a hotel room for fourteen hundred dollars. That's just showing up to the actual festival. He has not announced one person that's going to be there, except for a couple of sports stars that are going to show up. And I'm not going to name them because they probably will change their mind. And I don't know. I don't have anything against them. So some, some athletes are going to show up. Do you want to go to a festival to see some athletes? Are we. Is this the NBA Finals or what's going on? Doesn't make any sense to me. It's incongruent. There's no musicians that I know of that have been slated to play or announced formally. Billy keeps on putting on his stories, pictures of these athletes and then just their name. And everyone's assuming that's who's going to show up. But he doesn't really say it out loud because he probably doesn't have a contract with them yet. He knows he can't do that. So let's say this. There's no one yet playing. There's no location. The people in of Cancun, Mexico, the government there has said no one has asked us to. To get a permit for this and they will need one. So as far as we're concerned, it's not happening. It's not going to happen. So unless Billy gets his shit together really quick, this is happening in like two months, by the way.

[Rachel]

It's so weird.

[Brian Green]

It's so messy. You don't do any of this like this. You just don't. Unless you're Jam Land Productions, you do not put Fyre Fest together like this. You're asking for trouble.

[Rachel]

Comeback. Like, wouldn't you be sure? Everything was. Everything was above and beyond.

[Brian Green]

First of all, I'd have investors that have cash in an escrow account. I'd have a. Probably more than one accounting firm that was managing the money. Like, you know, Goldman's, I don't know. I don't know who. But somebody that was announced along with it, somebody else is managing the money. We are a year out from the festival. This is two months away. He's announcing this two months away. No acts, no permits, no nothing. So I would have an accounting firm, maybe two that were handling the money. All of the money. It never touches my hands. I'm not in charge of it. I cannot, I cannot get anything paid for unless they sign off on it and it's going to the intended purposes. I would have all of the acts Booked and paid for so that you know they're showing up. And I would make sure that I had every permit that I ever needed in place and I would try and sell reasonably priced tickets and forget about all this luxury bullshit is just going to appeal to a few people. But those people, if they have any sense in their head, are not going to be spending a million dollars on a private. On a private flight and a hotel room that could cost you a total of $100,000 if you did it the best way possible.

[Rachel]

And sign up on the website.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And give me your credit card information on Billy's website. That's in flash, by the way. Flash? Who does flash? So the government says this is not happening. There is no actual location. There are no actually actual artists that have been announced. And no one is coming forward to say, I'm playing Fyre Fest 2, which you would think they would, two months out. But here's the kicker. Billy goes on Good Morning America. What? Don't ask me why they invited him on there, but okay, they go, because it's a story. It's a story. And just like us, they have to kill content. He goes on Good Morning America. He does an interview, but the interviewers are prepped. They are ready. They have done their homework. They have called the hotels and the government. Government. And they have called the hotels to ask them, are you, in fact accepting patrons of this festival? Do you have deals with Billy and two of the three hotels that were named on the website as sister hotels? People that are doing business with Billy say, I have no clue what you're talking about. Yeah, none. This is a shit show. He is. History is repeating itself. I think Billy is trying to get the money first and put it together backwards. You cannot put together a festival for a hundred people in two months, let alone a hundred thousand or whatever Billy's aim is. It is crazy. Billy, everybody loves a comeback story. You did the crime, you did the time. I. I don't. I don't argue that everybody deserves a second chance, but you can't then just do the same shit you were doing before and telegraphing it. You need to. I just. I can't believe the balls on this.

[Rachel]

I know. Me too.

[Brian Green]

So he goes and he does this reel where he's like, walking around the streets of Miami or something, addressing all of the things that he. That people have now figured out about this. Right? And he combats them point by point. Do you want to listen to that?

[Rachel]

Yeah. But what did he say on Good Morning America?

[Brian Green]

I don't I only watched a clip of it.

[Rachel]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

But he claims that, you know, they. I think the way that the interview was framed is kind of one of these cutaway interviews where they're interviewing him. Not live, but they're interviewing him. It's a canned interview. And he's saying one thing, then they're flashing.

[Rachel]

Got it.

[Brian Green]

To the reporter saying something else. Right. Let me. Would you like to hear? It's. It's just terrible. It's just so terrible. Billy Weird McFarland. Peter. Okay. You ready for this? Yeah. All right, Listen to this. I'm going to put this up to the speaker here.

[Billy McFarland]

Hey, buddy, I have a really important Fire update. Last week, I did an interview in the Today show.

[Brian Green]

Today show. I'm sorry.

[Billy McFarland]

Since then, the story has been shared, retold.

[Brian Green]

This is why I don't put together festivals, because I can't even remember which television show I've been on.

[Billy McFarland]

Twisted and covered by journalists from all over the world. I figured it would be best to hear directly from me what's actually happening. First, Fire two is real. Second, we have incredible partners leading the festival. They're in charge of all the logistics, productions and operations.

[Brian Green]

Who? Some production company that they don't name. That they do name, but that production company has not come forward to confirm that they're part of the festival yet. They don't have it on their website, they don't have it on their social media. And apparently this production company is legitimate in some people's eyes. But this. This production company is not owning up to the fact that they are partnering with Billy now. I think their silence speaks volumes. They probably do. They probably have said to Billy, if you get your shit together, we will produce this festival, but you need to pay us. You need to get your shit together. And Billy just went ahead and put their name on the website, hoping that things worked out.

[Billy McFarland]

Production team in Mexico who does not mess around. There is no way they would ever take on a fake festival, said the.

[Brian Green]

People who took on the Face Festival.

[Billy McFarland]

Yeah, naturally, this is a huge point of emphasis given the issues surrounding Fire one. Our accommodations include contracts, the number of villas, yachts and hotels. This also includes two hotels who are contacted by the media who tells statements saying they never heard of Fire and they aren't working with us. After hearing this, I asked my team to terminate those contracts and to focus on the hotels and other partners who are eager to work with and support fire.

[Brian Green]

So let me get this straight, Billy. Yeah. You had web, you had hotels that were. You put on the Website that people could go stay at. Somebody called them. They said, we have no idea what you're talking about. First we're hearing of it.

[Rachel]

So you.

[Brian Green]

So you terminated your relationship with them. Oh, okay. Sounds like the relationship. I think the relationship was terminated before it started.

[Billy McFarland]

Four, we have talent. Artists, athletes and other performers are on board and scheduled for fire.

[Rachel]

Two other performers.

[Brian Green]

Restitution is being paid.

[Rachel]

I'm picturing, like, a guy out there in a unicycle.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Going down the beach.

[Brian Green]

You know that guy at the fish show who's outside twirling flames. Yeah. Can't seem to get it right. Who's one step away from setting himself on fire. That's what I imagine. I imagine guys like, you know, the Hacky Sackers. Hey, Hacky Sack. This is gonna be such a shit show. Such a shit show. Performers. What, are you going to have a girl with like a. You know those girls who wear the metal boobs and then they take a. Like a drill to it and make sparks? I paid a million dollars. I paid a million dollars for a private plane all the way down. I imagine the private plane is like the TCB plane. It's like, got one wing, one propeller that works. You're not going to get down there in one piece. What are you thinking? Don't do it. Oh, sorry. Hey. Hey. Sorry.

[Rachel]

Also, he said artists also made it.

[Billy McFarland]

My mission to do more than legally required. Artists has been giving a large percentage of fire to his budget and profits directly to restitution.

[Brian Green]

How do you give the part of the budget of the festival to restitution?

[Rachel]

Yeah, you can.

[Brian Green]

So you're taking investors money and you're paying the other people back. It doesn't make any sense.

[Rachel]

It's a Ponzi scheme.

[Brian Green]

It's a total Ponzi scheme. This guy doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. If you listen in the festival community, Billy's name is mud. And it's never going to be any better until he partners with a legitimate festival organizer and he sits in the background and learns how to do it a couple of times. And then maybe he can do his own festival. Am I right?

[Rachel]

Yeah, it's crazy. I mean, you know, Jeff said the festival world, and. Yeah, this is a sham.

[Brian Green]

This is a total shame. Yeah. Mempho Produced by Billy McFarlane. Memphis, too.

[Billy McFarland]

Good evening, everybody.

[Brian Green]

Okay. All right. You get the gist of it. He goes on and on. He addresses every point, and it's all bullshit. I have a team down there that doesn't f. Around well, I'm convinced.

[Rachel]

Where's that website so I can sign up?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, where are those people and why aren't they talking? Where are those people and why aren't they saying something? And why hasn't anyone knocked on the door of the Cancun mayor's office and said, hey, I'd like to bring 50,000 people down here to have a festival, and here's how much. Here's what it's going to do for the community, and here's how we're going to work with you. If they are saying out loud, the government of Cancun is saying, we have no idea what this guy is talking about, and it's not happening unless we do. This is Mexico. This ain't northeast Arkansas where you can just get buddies together and throw up a stage and have a couple beers. This isn't. This isn't Mudden Fest, Part 2. You know what I'm saying? This is like a major festival. I know, but we don't know who's playing, we don't know where we can stay, and we have no idea what location it's at.

[Rachel]

Yeah, I mean, he said artists, not what kind of artists.

[Brian Green]

Athletes. Artists and musicians.

[Rachel]

And other performers.

[Brian Green]

And other performers.

[Rachel]

He didn't even really say musicians.

[Brian Green]

He didn't? No. So what are you gonna do? Steph Curry's gonna show up and bounce a basketball. What's happening? I'm not paying $1,400 for that. I'm sure Steph is a nice guy. I'm sure he's really talented in basketball. He is, obviously, but I'm not gonna pay to watch him bounce a basketball. And unless Steph Curry is spending the night in my hotel room, I'm not paying $1,400.

[Rachel]

It's March. You cannot not be announcing who's coming.

[Brian Green]

You should have done this seven months ago, eight months ago, nine. A year ago. I mean, we talked about this. Bonnaroo is the gold standard of three day festivals.

[Rachel]

You can do blind tickets early on sale. Go ahead.

[Brian Green]

Presale discounts.

[Rachel]

Trust it. Yeah. And people will buy those for established stuff. Mempho is the same way they do. You know, they don't announce the seats yet, but you can't. Billy can't do that.

[Brian Green]

No, he can't do that.

[Rachel]

With what just happened.

[Brian Green]

Yes, because he just screwed, like, 10,000 people. And it was so bad that the bands didn't even make the flight to go down there.

[Rachel]

It was so bad. There were two dol documentaries.

[Brian Green]

Two about it.

[Rachel]

About how bad it Was one of.

[Brian Green]

The producers gave a blowjob for water or he was going to.

[Rachel]

Yeah, that's right.

[Brian Green]

Where's that guy? If that guy's involved, I'll trust it. Maybe. Maybe because at least he seemed like he was willing to get shit done. Billy, meanwhile, was with Ja Rule on some pig island or something international, you know, Kylie Jenner, swimming in a bikini. I don't know what was going on. It was awful. It was terrible. It's all hype, no substance. And this time, Billy, you got to be all substance and no hype. You just have to put a. Like every other festival in the world, put a website together. A really clean website where you don't have to use half of your fucking phone's memory to get it loaded. A really clean website that says these three nights, these three musicians are headlining. Here's some supporting acts. It's a reasonable ticket amount. Come have fun down in Cancun. I promise this time it's going off. And these are the people that are handling the money, and these are the people that are going to keep you safe. And here's the local government that we're working with to make sure that everyone gets in and out in an orderly way. All of this other shit is just noise. And Billy is trying to pull the wool over whose eyes. I don't know.

[Rachel]

I don't know if there's believing it.

[Brian Green]

He claims that he's already sold whatever of Phoenix ticket or, you know, Phoenix fire ticket or whatever it is some weird name that. Prometheus. Oh, yeah, Prometheus. And Prometheus, isn't he the guy who, like, set the world on fire? I think Prometheus, the God that set the world on fire. Anyway, don't buy Fyre Fest two tickets. That's a little. Little piece of advice from your friends here at the commercial break. And if you have, well, shame on you.

[Rachel]

Well, if you have, please report in, tell us.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, no, I don't think anybody's bought tickets. I really don't. I believe that Billy is in a panic now because this bad press has come out and everyone is saying, no way am I putting fourteen hundred dollars down. I don't care if you're elon fucking musk. $1,400 is $1,400. And you don't just piss that away because if you buy that, there is zero chance that you will get your money back if shit goes sideways because he doesn't have it. He is desperately trying to collect money so he can put it together, back it's unbelievable. It really is unbelievable. And shame on anybody who's part any, any of these artists or whoever they are and athletes and listen, I understand everyone's got to make money. And maybe Billy's paying you under the table or whatever's going on, whatever your deal is personally, or maybe you like Billy as a friend. I'm not sure, but shame on you. You should also be doing your homework and saying, if this is not really happening, Billy, I cannot have my name on it. Period. End of sentence. Because the thing is, he gets a few famous people involved. Now all of a sudden everybody thinks it's legit and they're buying tickets.

[Rachel]

But that's what happened last time.

[Brian Green]

That's what happened last time. All of those models went and started.

[Rachel]

Swimming in budget, on the promotion, on the, you know, influencers.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

And all the stuff. And those people got paid. And then the people had cheese sandwiches.

[Brian Green]

Cheese sandwiches. Muddy tents. They didn't even have tents. They weren't even set up. They were trying to set them up themselves. Glamping. It was like a porta toilet, a portalette and a blow up mattress. That's not glamping. That is regular camping as far as I'm concerned. All right, well, you get the point. Don't go to Billy's festival.

[Rachel]

But I am very interested to see how this plays out now.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. Oh, me too.

[Rachel]

He's doubling down. Yeah, he's digging his heels into the sand.

[Brian Green]

You know what if I. Absolutely. Well, this is the, this, this reel was put out over a week ago as we're recording this. And my suspicion is he. It's like radio silence now because now he's really. He's really fucked because now to the Today show has de skinned him or skinned him or whatever and there's nothing else to do. He's not. You can't recover from that in two months. If year maybe, but in two months it's just not gonna happen. All right, okay, let's. Let's take a break and then. I don't know, we're talking about. We'll figure it out. We'll be back.

[Jordan Robinson]

Rachel here. While Brian takes his old man bladder to the little boys room. Let's talk turkey. TCB needs your help. If you love the show, do us all a favor and share. Sharing is caring. And we know you care, don't you? Do you want to be on the show? Leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3822 and you could be the next TCB disembodied. Voice. Ooh, what'd you do today? I was a disembodied voice. You know, that sounds more dangerous than it actually is. Find us on Insta at the commercial break on the [e-mail] and all the episodes on video are available the same [e-mail] thecommercial break break. I'm gonna go help Brian get back up the stairs while you listen to the sponsors. And then we'll all meet back here and get back to this episode of the commercial break. I'll take a raise now, bitches. Bye.

[Chris Ash]

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. As a lifelong entrepreneur and a current small business owner of a mediocre comedy podcast, I do earnestly get excited when I get to share a tool or a resource that I use to better my business business. And along with being a long time entrepreneur, I am a longtime customer of Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whether you're scaling a larger business or you're just starting out. We are currently helping one of our family members build a website on Squarespace. And like everybody else in the world, they want to use video to highlight their products and services.

[Brian Green]

Squarespace.

[Chris Ash]

Squarespace makes that easy by allowing you to upload and organize your videos, create stunning libraries, and even monetize that content by adding a paywall. And now Squarespace even offers business loans. You can get fast, easy finance through Squarespace Capital. And if you're approved, it'll be in your bank account in three to four business days so that you can grow quickly. Of course, all loans are subject to credit approval, but just the knowledge that Squarespace is now trying to help help business owners and entrepreneurs in many facets of their business journey puts another check mark on my personal endorsement. So go ahead, check all this out for [e-mail] commercial and you'll get a free trial. And then when you're ready to launch, you can use the offer code commercial and you'll save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com commercial. Then use that offer code commercial to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain. And thank you to Squarespace for continuing to support entrepreneur entrepreneurs like myself and the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

I'm Jordan Robinson, host of the new podcast the Women's Hoop Show. Each episode I'll be joined by a rotating group of women's basketball experts to talk WNBA college hoops, the new unrivaled league and the shifting landscape of the sport. The game is growing and so are we. Listen to and follow the Women's Hoop show and Odyssey Podcast, available now for free on the Odysee app or wherever you get your podcast. Yes.

[Chris Ash]

This episode is sponsored in part by Chime Checking. A few years ago I was doing my end of the year bookkeeping and I got white hot when I realized that I had spent hundreds of dollars in banking and overdraft fees on one of our checking accounts. An unexpected monthly bill comes through a check that's been sitting out there for a while and wha bam. 35, 45, sometimes even $50. No thank you. That stuff adds up over time. But when you open a Chime Checking account, you can be one step closer to a better financial future because with no maintenance fees, fee free overdraft of up to $200 or you can get paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Chime Checking will have you covered and you can make progress on those financial goals that sometimes are hard to achieve. A Chime Checking account allows you fee free overdraft. With Spot Me, you can overdraft up to $200 without any fees. With Spot Me, when you set up a qualifying direct deposit, are you feeling a little stressed a couple days before your paycheck comes? Well, get my pay. When you set up a qualifying direct deposit, you can make your payday any day. Make progress toward a better financial future with Chime. Open your account in two [e-mail] that's chime.com Commercial Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp NA or Stride Bank NA members. Feic Spot Me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits do apply. Fees apply at out of network ATMs. MyPay eligibility requirements do apply. Credit limits range from $20 to $500. $2 fee applies to get funds instantly. Chime Checking account required. Go to chime.com disclosures for more details. And thanks to Chime Checking for being a sponsor of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

All right. Hey, I wanted to let you I wanted to remind you that Kathleen Madigan was on the show this week. Her fall tour tickets are now available. They're on sale at her website, kathleenmadigan.com I will put a link in the show notes. You can go listen to Tuesday's episode with her. What a great guest Kathleen Madigan is like. It's just so familiar that her whole personality is so familiar to me and it felt like being at a family function. I really did.

[Rachel]

She was Great.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she was great. And I hope that she comes back on again. And I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around Nate Borgozzi, Ron White, Kathleen Madigan. Who else did she say? She said some other famous person all playing golf behind her house, like, you know, teeing it up during the pandemic, I think. Fishing. Yeah, and fishing. I think that's great. I think it's great. And I went back and looked at her Instagram and you could see pictures of her and Ron and stuff like that. So anyway, kathleenmadigan.com go check out her tickets.

[Rachel]

Hey, Lewis Black.

[Brian Green]

Oh, Lewis Black, that's right. He came in from New York and he was yelling at the tv. She had to turn it off. Yes. So Lewis Black. Yeah, that's so on brand for Lewis Black. And I also wanted to give a big shout out to Ari Shafir. Ari, of course, is on his farewell tour, which just means he's taking some time off, probably some well deserved time. He's taking some time off. He's going away for a year or two and then he'll come back. But he's on his farewell tour right now. He's swinging through Atlanta this weekend. We're going to go see him. We're really excited about this. I want to thank him very much. He was kind enough to send us some tickets and, and then encourage you to go buy some tickets. I can't send you free tickets. I'm sorry. You don't have the kind of clout that TCB has. Huh? All right. Okay. Yeah. You're not bringing in pot brownies. Okay. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm trying to say. Anyway, Ari [e-mail] you can go and check out his tour. Tickets are available. Go see Ari and listen to his podcast also. So, Kathleen Madigan. Ari, go check that out. There's a very interesting trend that's going on and I'd like to hear thoughts on it. Puffy pussy. Have you heard of Puffy Pussy?

[Rachel]

No.

[Brian Green]

You haven't heard of Puffy Pussy?

[Rachel]

No.

[Brian Green]

I think this is. Seems to me to be a very dangerous thing to do. But what the fuck do I know? I'm not a medical professional. Though I did spend the night at a Holiday Inn last night and I do. I am a Google doctor. I will say that I do know how to Google the out of some. Yeah, I know how to go down a rabbit hole medically.

[Rachel]

Oh, we all do.

[Brian Green]

I know all the places to Go. I know all the things to look for. All the Reddit, yeah, chatty, chatty GPT knows all my conditions. It actually knows I'm a hypochondriac. It's like, settle down, you're not sick. This is nothing to worry about. A couple of. I'll share this. A couple of. When I went through the whole thing with the parathyroid and my calcium levels were through the roof and my parathyroid hormone was through the roof for many, many years and it kind of went unnoticed when I finally got diagnosed that some of the things that I was experiencing, some of the symptoms I was having were due to this high calcium level and the high parathyroid level and the tumor in my throat, the rather large one. One of the follow up items was, you gotta go see a cardiologist. Because of course having that much calcium in your blood for that long could cause damage to your heart. It could be, could collect in your arteries or whatever. You got to go get it checked out just to make sure. So I go and, you know, they do an echocardiogram and an EKG and all this and they say, hey, listen, you know, your heart looks healthy, everything looks good. Your blood pressure's a little high, but all right, you know, everything else looking good, thank God. But then a couple of months later, I start feeling like my heart is skipping a beat, like a palpitation. And while I've always had this sensation, like sometimes when I'm laying in bed at night, you know, when everything's quiet, I'll feel my heart skip a beat. I don't know if you've ever felt this.

[Rachel]

Yeah, no, I have. I think it's pretty common.

[Brian Green]

It's extraordinarily common.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But that doesn't stop Brian from completely freaking out about it. Completely freaking out. Because I usually experience it at night, but then all of a sudden I'm experiencing it during the day. It's happening much more frequently and it's noticeable. And if you've ever felt your heart skip a beat, the thing is it happens to everybody. It's called a pvc. A premature, you know, I don't know, vasectomy coming. I don't know what it's called. It's called something pvc and it happens to everybody. It's just when your heart just, it pumps one extra and it gives you the sensation that your heart has skipped a beat, but that's really not what's happening. It's got an extra beat. So this happens to everybody. It's usually Represents much less than 2 or 3% of your total heartbeats over the course of a given period of time. But Brian is freaking out about this so much, I run to the cardiologist and he says, okay, no problem. We know exactly what to do here. We're gonna fit you with a heart monitor for seven days. And I was. I thought to myself, oh, okay, how do you do that? What's that? Like, you put on a ring or. You know, we're all so used to these gadgets. I'm like, wearables?

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Do I have a wearable? Are you gonna take my data from? And. And he's like, well, we actually don't. There. We have so many of these tests going on that we don't have one available. You gotta wait your turn. So come back in a couple weeks and we'll fit you with. And I'm thinking, fit me with it? He's like, yeah, it's a little thing that goes around your chest. Don't worry, it's fine. You'll be. So I go a couple weeks ago, and I'm like, okay, it's my appointment day, and it's been a month since I've been to the doctor. You know, it's. I've been waiting a month for this. And of course, now I'm not experiencing the things that I was experiencing before. So it's just like taking your dog to the vet. Everything's wrong with your. Or your tooth hurts, and you get there and it's no longer hurting or whatever, you get it. So I show up and I this nice young lady, and she's got this black box. It looks like a small suitcase. And she's like, okay, I'm fitting you today with a. Whatever, a heart monitor, x220. And I'm like, okay, great. How do we do this? It is a full EKG machine that you wear on your body, Wires and all. So she explaining to me this thing as she's taking unboxing it. And I am thinking to myself, Holy, that's like 50ft worth of wires. That's those stickers you gotta put on your body. It's the things you gotta clip into the stickers. It's the little suction cups that go.

[Rachel]

Your energy is just attracted to wires.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my gosh. Wired, clunky.

[Rachel]

Studio.

[Brian Green]

Scary. Yes, Yes. I can't get away from the wires. Wires. I'm like a walking telephone pole. But not the kind here in America, like the kind down in Argentina where all the wires are coming out of the Box people hook up directly to the transformer. You know what I'm saying? They plug stuff in into the transformer. It's like you go to some of those places like the Flavellas and stuff, and people literally run an extension cord, and then they cut the extension cord off and they plug it into the transformer themselves. So this lady's taking out all these wires and these suction cups and these stickers, and I'm thinking to myself, holy shit. And she's like, don't worry. It's really quite cool. It's really. They're very small. And I'm thinking to my. Nothing is small about what you're showing me. But, okay, it's a machine. I would say this the size of my cell phone, but it's heavier and it's bigger, it's thicker, and it's got one big button in the front of it. And. And it's got a little small screen and that big button you're supposed to press anytime you feel that sensation, or any sensation. Aching, dizziness, confusion, whatever it is. I mean, if. I don't know how. If you're confused, you're pressing the button. But okay, you know, you're supposed to press the button and let them know which symptom you're feeling. Meanwhile, 24 hours a day, unless you are showering, you've got to be hooked up to this monitor that then hooks up to this larger, clunky thing. Or you can wear a small. I would say it's like the size of a keychain. You can put that keychain into one of the suction cups, and that acts as like a sixth suction cup. So it's like this confusing mass of wires and machines that you've got to carry around with you at all times. You can't be more than 50ft from the base station. You have to charge the base station while you're wearing it. It's a whole thing. I could do this for at least seven days, is what she says. The doctor may want more information, but at least seven days.

[Rachel]

Chrissy, were you like, I'm not feeling it anymore.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I know. That's what I said to her. I said, do I. I've got a ring. Yeah, I've got Nora ring. Do you want that data?

[Rachel]

An apple?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Because my Oura ring is this small. And it can tell me whether or not I'm having a good day or a bad day based on every. It could tell me my cardio age, how I slept, whether or not I'm sick and you're giving me this clunky piece of wiry shit that I gotta wear around for seven days. Oh, and by the way, it's being monitored 24 hours a day. It has a cell phone signal. And she says, so if anything goes wrong, they're gonna call you. And I was like, like wrong, like what? And she's like, if they see anything weird, they're gonna give you a call to make sure you're okay. And I, that's kind of big brother ish, but okay, let's, let's get this over with.

[Rachel]

I'm in this far.

[Brian Green]

I'm in this far. So I've got all of these wires that are big and bulky sitting under my shirt. But oh, and by the way, she, I, because I have the world's largest amount of chest hair that I have to manage on a daily basis, I she can't get the suction cups on, so she's got to take her own razor and shave my chest. Nothing like having a 24 year old beautiful nurse shave your hairy fat chest so she can get the suction cups on. So, okay, I get all the suction cups on and I'm walking out of the place and I notice that under my shirt it just looks like I, I'm sorry, it looks like I have a bomb. That's what it looks like. It looks like I'm in Ireland during the troubles. And look out, I look like an IRA member. Thank God I didn't have to go to the airport. Thank God, thank God. But okay, here I am, I'm running around with all these wires sticking under my shirt. So now I gotta pick bulky clothing so it doesn't look like I'm about to kill everybody in the place. And I'm walking around. Well, just my luck, on the third day of wearing this, we have to go to a kid's birthday party with all of the people that I know from the school already hate me because of the commercial break. Now I gotta go in there and try and explain away all the wires sticking out of my chest and like.

[Rachel]

I'm in the show right now.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you're all, hey, you're on Candid Camera. No, that's not a heart monitor. That's seven microphones hooked up to my body. I'm recording you in Pink Floyd, Dolby Audio for my new movie. You heard it here last. Every fart, every movement, every burp and palpitation recorded in hi Fi so you can hear it. So I go into this place. This is actually a Pretty cool birthday party. Here's the thing.

[Rachel]

The cheese.

[Brian Green]

I didn't go to the cheese. I wish I had gone to the cheese because the food was really good there. But this was. This was a idea that did, on paper, sounded terrible, but in theory, in. In reality, ended up being fantastic.

[Rachel]

Do you tell.

[Brian Green]

Here's the invitation. So I never know about any of this stuff until, like, minutes before we're leaving. You know what I'm saying? I'm never. I. I just can't remember. I don't keep up with it or what. It's on the family calendar. I can see it. But whatever. Yeah, I'll look at it that day. So Astrid says to me, yeah, we're going to a place that sells swing sets and play sets for backyards, trampolines.

[Rachel]

Okay?

[Brian Green]

Big, you know, jungle gyms and tree houses and all this. We're going to this place that sells it. And I thought to myself, one of two things. Either these people are friends with the people who own it and they're allowing us to go in there and hang out, or this is the cheapest way to do a birthday party ever. Just have everybody show up at the place. That's up.

[Rachel]

Meet me there.

[Brian Green]

You meet me there. And you know, hey, we're thinking about buying. Do you mind if I eat my birthday cake here? I was so, like, I thought to myself, oh, okay. This is interesting. I've never seen this.

[Rachel]

Yeah, that's new.

[Brian Green]

But we. We show up. It's like, in a strip, like an industrial strip mall or something like that. And I thought, this is, like, really weird. But we walk in and this place is a wonderland of these huge swing sets, jungle gyms, tree houses. Oh, in the ground, trampolines, above the ground, trampolines. All of this stuff indoors. It's kind of cold outside, a muggy, a little rainy. So we're. We go there, and it's perfect. It's. And you can go on any of them. All the kids just go, and they play on all of these beautiful swing sets and play places and all this other stuff. And they rent the place out for a couple hundred dollars an hour and on. On weekends, and you can just go and hang out.

[Rachel]

Sense, I guess, some extra money for the. For your mom.

[Brian Green]

That's right. And you don't have the place to yourself. There can be people in that are coming to look at the swing sets, but they're bringing their children, too. So, you know, there was a couple people that walked in during that time, but this was the most brilliant idea at the end of the day, it was, like, really fun for everybody, including me, who's wearing a heart monitor, jumping on the trampoline with the kids.

[Rachel]

Of course.

[Brian Green]

I'm like, double bouncing these small children. And the parents are like, does he have a bomb in his shirt or what's going on there? I'm sweating profusely because I have a sweater on, because I'm trying to cover up the wires. But the entire time, like, I know some of these people, the entire time I'm talking to them, all I can see them doing is staring at the wires under my shirt. That's it. That's it.

[Rachel]

Yes, I would be. You would be.

[Brian Green]

I was like, well, all right, I guess. And I didn't tell anybody. I just. I just said, you know what? If they're not asking, I'm not saying, because it just sounds. You sound old when you say, yeah, I'm wearing a hard monitor. Wearing a hard monitor. I mean, it was an interesting afternoon. It was an interesting seven days. Days. And now I have these, like, the skin has been ripped off the places where I had these things because I had to change the stickers every day. And it was just a lot. I'm pressing that button left and right. Anyway, so I go, you know, I. I get all that done. And the doctor says, well, you had 1685 PVCs while we were doing this. While we were having this.

[Rachel]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

But that represents much less than 1% of the total beats of your heart. So you're in good shape.

[Rachel]

You're good.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And I'm like, oh, okay. I guess I'll just have this weird sensation that my heart is stopping every five seconds. No problem, Doc. Something you could do about that, can you. And I've learned that there is a procedure when your heart gets out of whack. When you got, like, more than 10 or 15% of your beats are like that, there's a couple procedures they can do. One of them is literally shocking it back into rhythm.

[Rachel]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Stop your heart, start it again so it gets into rhythm, like into a sinus rhythm. And I thought to myself, oh, Lord, don't let that be me.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Because knowing me and my, you know, the wire propensity, it's going to be hooked up the wrong way, and it's just going to stop and not start again. Anyway, was going to talk about puffy pussy, so let's do that. Yeah. So let's talk about puffy pussy on the. On the next segment, I'll make you listen to some commercials. I'll make you wait for Puffy Pussy. Okay, you're not getting your Puffy pussy here. No Puffy tacos here. Kids, kids, we'll have to talk about it when we get back.

[Jordan Robinson]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond Now. I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

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[Brian Green]

Puffy Tacos. That's what we're talking about puffy tacos. So I saw this reel a couple weeks ago. Saw reel two. Ladies talking about. Their friends had been discussing how they had injectables, like in plumpers, like lip plumpers, butt plumper, you know, plumpers around your eyes or whatever. There are now doctors, plastic surgeons types that are injecting that into women's labias to increase the size of their labia and make it look more full, more plump, more inviting, I guess would be the right word to put it. And these ladies were explaining that as you get older, the labia loses some elasticity. It loses some of that plumpiness is. And when you have children, sometimes they can do damage to the actual labia. Not damage, but it just. It can stretch it and make it look different and all that other stuff. And so they're. So they're like. I guess the bottom line was some women are getting these so they can encourage a camel toe because it's not like the inner labia, it's the outer labia. So they're getting these injectables into their outer labia so that they can enhance the camel toe, so to speak, which is really interesting to me. And I don't know. I mean, I don't love the idea of putting something like that so close to something so sensitive, but I don't have one. So I don't know. And if someone could tell me that I could actually see my penis, if I plumped it up with something, I might do that. I might do that. I might inject something. And I know that there are guys who do procedures like this to enhance the look of penis.

[Rachel]

And isn't the guy that's doing, you know that he's doing like that. That billionaire guy that's trying to live forever? Yes, whatever. Isn't he injecting, like, Botox in his penis?

[Brian Green]

Yes, he's injecting Botox into his penis. And if I'm not mistaken, he has had some kind of filler in there to keep it rigid and firm and all that. Listen, I mean. Yeah, okay, here's the thing. If you're doing it for you, and it's something that you really. You like the look of your vagina better when it's fuller and it gives that camel toe appearance. God bless you, child. Do what you're gonna do. To each their own.

[Rachel]

Exactly. And definitely go to a trained professional.

[Brian Green]

This is what I'm thinking is we are gonna have these knockoff yahoos because.

[Rachel]

It happened with the bbls, the butt.

[Brian Green]

Lifts it's happened with the bbls.

[Rachel]

People have died.

[Brian Green]

Oh yeah, people have died. They have had all kind of sicknesses and illnesses because people are taking like, like common household. They're taking silicone injectable, like the stuff you would put on a crack in your tile. And they are filling people's butts with that stuff. I read an article about a lady who went to one of these knockoff whatevers down in. I think it was Jamaica. She, she was a medical tourist. She went down there, she wanted the big, you know, beautiful butt that Kim Kardashian has ushered in this, you know, world of big beautiful butts. And she went down there to get that like full look. And the guy was taking silicone. He bought at Home Depot for tiles.

[Rachel]

Oh my God.

[Brian Green]

And sticking it in her ass. And you know what? It did not end up well for her. Go fucking figure. She ended up in the hospital, all kind of sick, years of treatments. It was really quite this thing because it's not like they can just suck it back out. It floats around your body and your body sucks it up. So that's the only like, like cons. And I know that there are medical grade silicone that obviously they've tested and must be approved by if there is an fda. The fda. If there's an fda. Left. The fda.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You know, it's just so, but it's so foreign to me that you would want to like stick that in such a. A sensitive area.

[Rachel]

But God bless you, people are doing everything.

[Brian Green]

I haven't met a vagina that I don't like yet. Haven't met one. There's not one vagina that I've looked at, been around, seen myself where I thought to myself, oh, I don't want to have anything to do with that. Right. I think they're all beautiful in their own way.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But you know, it's a trend to get it all freshened up down there, right. To get it high and tight.

[Rachel]

The rejuvenation has been going on for years, right?

[Brian Green]

Yes, yes. That's where you have like a spa. Remember those girls?

[Rachel]

What didn't we do like a. Yeah, no, that's separate. Like this, the vaginal rejuvenation.

[Brian Green]

Oh, like the medical procedure. Yeah. But didn't we do a.

[Rachel]

We did. And that's like a whole steaming a steam your vagina. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Clean sage it and clean it with wax and. Yeah, it sounds painful. It sounds painful to steam your vagina. But this is the new trend. Puffy pussy is the new trend. And you Know, I think we're going to be hearing a lot more about this in the future. And I'll get it done to mine and I'll let you know.

[Rachel]

Basically, camel toes are in.

[Brian Green]

Camel toes are in. Yeah. Like, nipples are seeing their moment right now. I think you see that in a lot of fashion.

[Rachel]

Many, many even bras with nipples in them.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's. Kim Kardashian ushered that in, too. And listen, I'm not bothered by a nipple. I don't. I don't think there's any reason to be ashamed of a nipple.

[Rachel]

It's a nipple.

[Brian Green]

It's not going to kill anybody. And guys have their shirts off all the time. We see guys nipples all the time. We have hypersexualized women's breasts. And so. And there's like this fantasy fetish. And of course, breasts are awesome. Also. I haven't met a boob I don't like either. Right. So I understand there are certain connotations, and there's a lot of people who may not. Who may feel more shy about sharing that. That nipple with the world. Yeah.

[Rachel]

Each to their own.

[Brian Green]

But I was looking at Chappelle Roan with a couple of her girlfriends at one of the fashion houses in Milan, Fashion Week or whatever. And without exception, there was like four of them sitting in a row. And without exception, each one of them had at least one of their nipples out, like in showing. And. But I thought it was all tasteful. I thought, oh, okay, all right. You know, there. There's the nipple.

[Rachel]

You got it flaunted.

[Brian Green]

There it is. Yeah. And I think camel toe, just like the nipple, is the next. We talked about it. We said, hey, listen, going 100% naked to the Grammys, not a fantastic idea in my opinion. It's all just clickbait bullshit. But there, after the nipples out, there's only one other place to go, and that's down south. Penises are seeing their moment. We're seeing a lot of full frontal penises on television and prestige TV and movies, and camel toes are seeing their moment also. And if my Instagram is any indication, camel toes are a hot trend right now.

[Rachel]

I think they have been.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And there's so much camel toe content out there. You would be surprised, Chrissy.

[Rachel]

I bet I would.

[Brian Green]

I am a man. So Instagram has instantaneously served me up every camel toe and nipple that is available on there. And for a platform that says it stays away from sexual content, there sure is a lot of hypersexual content on Instagram. And that's why I say, well, my kids, they pick up my phone, they want to, you know, play a song on Spotify or whatever. And then the other day I found the youngest of them flipping through Instagram and I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no. My algorithm is not for children. My algorithm is not for children. Whether it's a crazy person talking to for conspiracy theory or Chappelle Roan's nipples out, it's just not for children. And not that I care. I don't want my children also to have hang ups. Like I did like a Catholic. Like about every body part that you ever have should be hidden away from the world forever. But at the same. But there's a time and a place where that's appropriate and there's a time and a place. And especially my daughters. I just want to keep them down in the basement. I just want to keep them down in the basement, Chris. That's all I want to do, you know, and, and I say this about plastic surgery and rejuvenation and all that. I think there is taking it too far. I, I definitely think that's there. And I think we're now seeing that some of the injectables that people put into their faces are not working out long term. Especially if they're overdoing it. The lip fillers, the cheek fillers, the, the eyebrow fillers, the forehead.

[Rachel]

I've been overdoing it for years.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but it's like moving all over their face.

[Rachel]

I mean, I guess some people like that look, including men like that look on women. I guess. I mean, we look, we watch those TLC shows. The, the twins. Yes, those girls, Stacy and Darcy or whatever.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah.

[Rachel]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

They are.

[Rachel]

I mean, it's unbelievable just how much is in there. But I guess that's the look and I guess some people like it. And I guess each to their own.

[Brian Green]

Listen, you gotta, you're an adult, make.

[Rachel]

Your own decisions, make your own decisions.

[Brian Green]

And if it's for you and you love it. Yeah, great, great. I'm all about it. Right. And as long as it. And it's not harming anyone else around you. Right. You don't do harm to yourself. I don't love the idea, but that's your choice, not mine. And those two girls are a prime example of how it can be overdone real quick. They don't look human anymore to me. They don't look human. But obviously there are people who are attracted to them. There's lots of men that are attracted to those Two. Two girls. To me it's way overkill. Those lips are like big hot air balloons and their cheeks are out to here. You can't even see their eyes anymore because they're between the fillers in their forehead and the fillers in their cheeks. They're like, ah, it's just too much. And then the boobs and the butt and everything else that's been done. It looks so plastic fantastic. But even the Catwoman, the lady who had so much plastic surgery to make herself look like a cat, even she was attracting men at her advanced age looking like a weird cat that honestly, she was a. Somebody was attracted to that look. Somebody felt it. I guess that's a good thing too. Like it goes to show that no matter what you look like and what you do to yourself and what your personal preferences are with makeup and clothing and styling your hair or whatever, somebody is going to be into you. Somebody is going to love that look.

[Rachel]

100 yeah.

[Brian Green]

Might not be my thing, but who care? You know, I'm only one guy. I can only have so many wives. That's it. Okay, 12. That's how many wives lives according to job. J O B Job. I. I just want to make this quick mention and then I'll move on. I'll promise I'll move on for it from it. 90 Day Fiance brand new season. I I'm not watching it with any intent. It's on in the background when I was like fixing the studio was on in the background. 90 Day Fiance, they have their first throuple. Their first throuple. So they have two girls. Girls. One guy, the girl that the wife that he currently has is Brazilian. I believe the third person they are bringing into the marriage, the woman is a stripper from Tijuana. From Tijuana. They're all beautiful. They're all good looking human beings. They're all beautiful. And I am. So this is the one storyline where I'm like, okay, I'll pay attention to this story because that's interesting. Yeah. Hey listen, you throuples are interesting. They're interesting.

[Rachel]

They are.

[Jordan Robinson]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Because you know it's gonna blow up. In the second episode, the lady from Tijuana, the dancer from Tijuana, she meets up with them down in Tijuana. They're all together, they're excited. It's been a long time. All this other stuff. They're in a hot tub and all of them are talking. And the dancer who has just met up with them again for the first time in a long time says, oh, While you were taking a nap on me and him had sex. And the wife is like, huh? It never works. It never works.

[Rachel]

It takes a lot of work to make it work.

[Brian Green]

You gotta be so in like, you gotta be like the most enlightened human being in the world. The most self aware human being in the world. You gotta work on yourself 24 hours a day for that to work out. Because here's the reality that's really tough to watch your loved one have sex with someone else else, the person that you love. I mean, listen, even after years of marriage, I am still madly in love with my wife. And I just kindly request she doesn't sleep with other men. That's it. That's. I have one request.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Just don't sleep with other men. And if you are going to sleep with another man, let me know first so I can figure out a way out of here. Don't leave me. I've got too many children. Yeah.

[Rachel]

Some people really are into it and I. More power to you. But it does. It seems like it takes a lot of work. There's a show on Showtime called Couples Therapy.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I want to say.

[Rachel]

And I got. It's good. It's really good. I mean, it's a.

[Brian Green]

For real. Are those real people?

[Rachel]

Yes. And real couples.

[Brian Green]

Those are real couples.

[Rachel]

And on one of the seasons they do have a throuple. And man, it just seems like a lot of work.

[Brian Green]

It does seem like a lot of effort. Yeah. That Gino and his wife, you know, whatever her name is, she's.

[Rachel]

All these rules and things, boundaries and stuff. I mean, long term, it just seems like it can devolve into a mess.

[Brian Green]

But anybody that I. Yeah. More power to you. To each their own. We've always said this. To each their own. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not knocking it. I know there's lots of people who try it and who are in it and who like it. But I have had many friends and I say probably more than five couples friends or not couples anymore who have tried this. And I just got this interpretation that, you know, menage trois means your relationship is not working because there it's always the fix for something. Yeah. And it never fixes anything. It makes things an extra like so much more complicated that then it's really hard to unfuck once you start sleeping with other people. And I had one, a couple that I know and they're such a beautiful couple. And I mean physically beautiful and then really sweet with each other. It's like One of those you really hope you're like rooting for them because they're so sweet to each other. Other. And I will tell you what, they did this for a period of time and came this close to divorcing with children. And everyone was like, no.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And guess what? They stopped all the, you know, open marriage bullshit. And 10 years, nine years on from that, they seem very happy, very strong, and they will tell you right to your face, it wasn't a great idea. We did it. We. It was part of our relationship, but it wasn't a great idea. And it was really hard to navigate. And it was extremely hard to navigate with the children. Like, how do you explain that? Yeah, you're like, daddy's going on a date without your mom. Daddy's going, I know, Daddy's going to get a nut.

[Rachel]

Yeah, like a one night fling kind of thing is one thing. But when you're actually having a relationship with three people in a relationship or more.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Rachel]

I mean, there's people that are doing more than that and it seems very hard and complicated and like a lot.

[Brian Green]

Of work, it really, really does.

[Rachel]

But if it's for you, if it's.

[Brian Green]

For you, if you like that kind of work. Yeah, call us, tell us. And then, you know, there's, and then there's this like, other version of like open. There are these people, I don't know how to explain it. They're not hippie ish, necessarily, but they are so against any labels or anything that they just float through the world having mild attachments that can be unattached and then reattached at any moment. And I've never seen that work out either. Like, you know, oh, you know, all the free people. And I sleep with this person, then I sleep with that person, and I love you and I don't love you. And that never works out either because then you're just running through life damaging people's emotions. And that also feels not so great. But again, you know, there are people out there where it works. But they're French people and they're much smarter than us.

[Rachel]

That's right, they're French.

[Brian Green]

They're much smarter than us. They have much more experience and that's the way it works.

[Rachel]

French or Italian?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Look at, look at that show, Sister Wives. It's now Sister Wife. Yeah, it's no longer Sister Wives, it's Sister Wife. It all fell apart over the course of two short years.

[Rachel]

Is that show still on too? The one you were watching where they were looking for the third or it.

[Brian Green]

Was the Seeking Sister Wife.

[Rachel]

Well, there's that one and then there's the other one. Didn't you tell me? I don't know. There's a couple of them. They're all on tlc.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they're all on tlc. Turn on tlc.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Seeking Sister Wife hasn't had a season in a while, but it was, it was interesting while it was there.

[Rachel]

I think that that's what it was.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We watched, I think we watched a couple of episodes here.

[Rachel]

Seeking Husband, Wife or Brother.

[Brian Green]

Seeking Brother Husband or Sister, Husband or whatever. Yeah, that had one season. They didn't come back. And by the way, very rarely, rarely does someone come back for a second season of Seeking Sister Wives. Yeah, because it doesn't work out. It just doesn't. They, I guess they move on or they don't want to be filmed. It. It must be hard to be in that lifestyle. But then on top of that, to have a camera crew following you around, that's extra hard. But there were a few couples that kind of, you know, they seem to have figured it out at least in front of the cameras. So I don't know. Here's the Seeking Sister Wife season four. All right, come on. Where is, Is that all right? Oh, watch the pit. The pit is just fantastic, by the way. It's so good. The Pit. The Pit on Max. I'm telling you, I, I'm, I won't disappoint you with this one.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Unless you don't like blood or bones or guts. In that case, you probably don't watch the pit. I guess it's hyper realistic. TCB podcast.com more information about Chrissy and I. All the audio, all the video right there from one location. TCBpodcast.com you can also get your free TCB sticker. Hit the contact us button. Drop down menu says I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address and we will send you one. No problem. 212-433-TCB 212-433-3822 Text us questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas. We are taking them all to that phone number. You can also leave us a voicemail. If you would like to be the next voice on tcb. Leave us a voicemail. Make it short, make it sweet. Don't use your name if you don't want us to say your name. Those simple rules. Simple rules. Chrissy. Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break for all the episodes the same on video the same day they air here on the audio. All right, well, I guess that's all I can do for today.

[Rachel]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

But I'll tell you that I love you.

[Rachel]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

I'll say best to you, best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say, and we must say goodbye.

[Kathleen Madigan]

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[Jordan Robinson]

SA.