Kidnap The Stonish Giant!

Summary

The Commercial Break

Episode: Kidnap The Stonish Giant!
Release Date: September 12, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

---

Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break delivers a wild ride blending improv comedy, pop culture tangents, and a signature deep-dive into absurd entertainment. Bryan and Krissy, in their trademark chaotic chemistry, mine gold from a viral “Waffle House napper” story, 1980s nostalgia for the Coreys, the rockstar cocaine pipeline, and a bonkers breakdown of a “Mountain Monsters” episode entitled “Kidnap The Stonish Giant.” Listeners get a hilarious, unfiltered banter fest, with standout bits of dark humor, callback jokes, and meta-commentary.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Waffle House Napper & Criminal Mishaps

• [02:30–06:30]
  Bryan opens with a story about a man asleep for hours at a Waffle House in Doraville, Georgia. After police intervention, the man is found with half a pound of cocaine in his pants pocket.
  • Commentary on the "bonehead mistake" of carrying illegal substances during another infraction.
  • Memorable quote:

    "Don't fuck up while you're fucking up. That's the one thing you can't do if you're going to do your shit."
    — Bryan [05:00]

2. Mystery Products & Nostalgic Drug Tales

• [07:09–11:44]
  Bryan discusses getting Facebook ads for "Wanna Bump," a powdery caffeine product, after watching the cocaine video.
  • Segues to stories of encounter with high-end cocaine vials from a "hoity toity dealer" in Atlanta’s Buckhead area.
  • Krissy and Bryan riff nostalgically about Mr. Rogers and the evolving cocaine trade.
  • Notable quote:

    “Let’s go to Mr. Rogers’ neighborhood and be in the imaginary kingdom... I hereby declare this to be brown cocaine vial day.”
    — Bryan [09:44]

3. Cocaine Quality, "Blow," and Rock Docs

• [11:51–14:42]
  Bryan contrasts the "stepped-on" U.S. cocaine with "closer to the source" stuff in places like Costa Rica.
  • References "Blow" and legendary 1970s/80s rockers' cocaine escapades.
  • Talks up the ingenuity and dangers of the historic cartel/American pilot pipeline.

4. Charlie Sheen Documentary Reactions

• [14:57–19:19]
  Discussion moves to Charlie Sheen’s new documentary and remarkable anecdotes:
  • Sheen’s dealer "watering down" his crack to prevent accidental overdose, leading Sheen to accidentally self-diagnose increasing tolerance.
  • Notable quote:

    “His dealer became so concerned…he started cooking the crack with less and less coke…He was getting sick because he was just like, smoking baking soda.”
    — Bryan [16:49]

5. Corey Haim Allegations, Feldman, and “The Coreys”

• [17:50–22:32]
  Bryan hopes the documentary addresses the grave allegations that Charlie Sheen assaulted Corey Haim on the set of Lucas.
  • Sidebar about the cult following of Corey Feldman, Feldman’s reality TV career, and nostalgia for the “two Coreys.”
  • Krissy reminisces about teen magazines like Bop and 1980s pop culture crushes.

6. Inside Podcasting, Schedule Flubs, and Meta Show Updates

• [22:32–23:41]
  Bryan addresses listener curiosity about a previous episode’s guest (Gary Vee) and Krissy’s absence – clarifying it was just a scheduling conflict.

---

Main Feature:

“Mountain Monsters — Kidnap The Stonish Giant!” Watch-Along and Roast

[27:21–54:31]

Bryan and Krissy launch into a live riff/recap of a “Mountain Monsters” episode—the Discovery/Travel Channel series where self-styled mountain men hunt for cryptids. The featured plot: cast members are unconvincingly kidnapped as part of their quest for the ominous “Stonish Giant.”

Standout Moments & Quotes

• On the Kidnapping Setup

  • "They kidnapped him with their mics on."
    — Krissy [29:23]
  • The hosts lampoon the production logic (e.g., kidnappers leaving the host’s camera with them, wearing obvious masks, narrating their own kidnapping).

• Riffing on the Cast

  • "Huck has never eased right out of anywhere. Poor boy, he is huge."
    — Bryan [32:50]
  • Running gags about Buck's dirty shirt, the impractical pursuit on foot, “corn sack hoods,” and the cast’s unconvincing terror.

• Dramatic Dialogues & Suspense

  • Recurring cracks about the show’s overwrought, theatrical tone—
    "There’s nothing, there’s no—these are the worst kidnappers in history." — Bryan [33:30]
  • "It's a bit incongruent, but let me not point out the obvious. Let's roll with the imaginary." — Bryan [31:55]

• Plot Absurdity

  • The “villain” demands the crew capture the “Woman of the Woods” in exchange for information about the “stoneish giant” killer.
  • "He's throwing the chair through the window. Don't get violent. Oh, now’s the time to run." — Bryan [51:00]
  • Ridicules the pig’s head “clue,” “prop department fail,” and formulaic “revelations.”

• Meta-“Mountain Monsters” Commentary

  • "That’s only nine minutes of the 48-minute episode. What did they fill the rest with?" — Bryan [54:12]

Summary of Mountain Monsters Watch-along

• The fake kidnapping is panned as absurdist, circular, and filled with unintentional comedy.
• Bryan and Krissy heighten it by improvising dialogue and pointing out inconsistencies in production.
• The duo appreciate the show’s camp value for delivering much-needed laughs:
  • "They never disappoint…It gave me a laugh for the first time in 24 hours." — Bryan [54:31]

---

Closing Thoughts: Conflict, Calm, and “Being the Change”

[54:45–56:39]

• Bryan urges listeners to “rev down,” espousing the virtue of rational conversation in tense times, referencing his recent chat with Gary Vee:
  • “Violence only begets violence…let’s everybody take a deep breath and agree to disagree on some things.” — Bryan [55:24]
• Quotes Ram Dass: “Be the change you want to see in others.”
• Outro plug for next week’s guest: Sal Vulcano.

---

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On not compounding mistakes:

  “Don’t fuck up while you’re fucking up. That’s the one thing you can’t do if you’re going to do your shit.” — Bryan [05:00]

• On Mr. Rogers and cocaine:

  “Let’s go to Mr. Rogers’ neighborhood and be in the imaginary kingdom…I hereby declare this to be brown cocaine vial day.” — Bryan [09:44]

• On “Mountain Monsters” kidnappers:

  “There’s nothing, there’s no—these are the worst kidnappers in history.” — Bryan [33:30]

• On meta-reality television:

  "That's only nine minutes of the 48-minute episode. What did they fill the rest with?" — Bryan [54:12]

---

Important Segments & Timestamps

• Waffle House napper & cocaine story: [02:30–06:30]
• Cocaine talk & Mr. Rogers: [07:09–11:44]
• Rockstar drug history & “Blow”: [11:51–14:42]
• Charlie Sheen & drug dealers’ morals: [14:57–17:32]
• Corey Haim, Corey Feldman, celebrity nostalgia: [17:50–22:32]
• Meta-show talk (absence, Gary Vee): [22:32–23:41]
• Main feature: “Mountain Monsters” watch-along: [27:21–54:31]
• Takeaways on conflict, calm, and coming episodes: [54:45–56:39]

---

Tone & Original Language

• Irreverent, self-deprecating, and improv-heavy.
• Frequent playful jabs, dark-comedy edge, and affectionate parody of low-budget TV.
• Bryan leads with animated, sarcastic monologues; Krissy interjects with dry, observational quips.

---

Conclusion

This episode is a showcase of The Commercial Break’s formula: off-the-cuff riffing on life’s oddities, affectionate mockery of pop culture, and a warm, if slightly offbeat, call for unity in turbulent times. The “Mountain Monsters” parody is a particular high point, offering catharsis and comic relief for listeners in need of a break from reality.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

This episode is sponsored by five Hour Energy. If you're like me, you want your caffeine to do more than just wake you up. You want it to taste good too. That's why I've been reaching for five Hour Energy Shots. These little two ounce bottles are packed with big bold flavors. Seventeen of them to be exact. Maybe you're craving something crisp like watermelon that tastes like summer. Or maybe you're in the mood for a smoothie inspired. Strawberry banana. And if you like your caffeine with a tangy kick, sour apple is my favorite. It's tart, sweet and seriously tasty. Each shot of five hour energy has about the same caffeine as a 12 ounce premium cup of coffee, but with zero sugar and none of the sugar crash. And because they're so portable, you can keep one in your bag, car or desk drawer so you're ready whenever you need a boost. Give your caffeine a flavor upgrade with 5 hour energy shots. Get it in store and online at fiveourenergy. Com or have it delivered by Amazon today. Thanks five Hour Energy for being a sponsor of the commercial break.

[Chris Hoadley]

Fun fact, you can't get pregnant every day. You're only fertile for six days. Ovulation day in the five days leading up to it. Natural Cycles is the only birth control app that can pinpoint your fertile window by analyzing your hormone driven temperature trends. It's more than just a basic cycle tracking app.

[Rachel]

Natural Cycles is the only FDA cleared.

[Chris Hoadley]

And CE marked birth control app and has helped millions prevent and plan for pregnancy naturally. Save 15% when you sign up today with code RADIO15. Learn more@natural cycles.com Girls, what's just happened?

[Brian Green]

There's an ice cream van there selling just two ice creams with two chewing gums in it. Yeah, the bloody nine pound for two of them. Nine quid for two. Yeah, nine quid. That is going to get nowhere.

[Chris Hoadley]

One that comes on my street is out of £1 a P or two pound.

[Brian Green]

Like he's going to get nowhere with that.

[Chris Hoadley]

No he ain't, is it?

[Brian Green]

No, he know he ain't. That's well bad, isn't it? He should know. And he only just bloody card stood there with my cash. Bloody hell. That's well bad, isn't it? Bloody well bad. Yeah. Yeah. Then you can hear me.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

On this episode of the commercial break. Mark them for death.

[Chris Hoadley]

It just flashed to the previous time. I guess they saw the woman in the woods and one of them, one of them.

[Brian Green]

He's just like an Indian with war Paint on his face. He's got like a Benetton shirt on.

[Chris Hoadley]

And like a headpiece.

[Brian Green]

He's got a headband with a long feather. He's screaming into the void. This looks like my weekend.

[Chris Hoadley]

The cacao ceremony.

[Brian Green]

It really does, yeah. The cow mushroom ceremony. I think a few people are doing the same thing. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. 2:30 in the morning. Oh yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris Best. Brian, best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. 2:30 in the morning is right. I'm watching a video about a guy who like the Doraville police. Doraville is a place here in the metro Atlanta area. Right. They were called to a Waffle House because a guy was sleeping at the table for about three and a half hours and they couldn't seem to get him up and so they had to call the police. Waffle House, take a nap. Yeah, yeah, Waffle House. We limit you to three hour naps.

[Chris Hoadley]

Can't go over three.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Waffle House. Three hours is the limit. So after three and a half hours, they called the police, the Doorville. I saw the body camera footage. Doville police show up. The guy is non rousable. He's just not getting up.

[Chris Hoadley]

He was out.

[Brian Green]

He was out like a light. But they like, you know, they finally like, like, like pull his eyelids back just to make sure that he's up. And he kind of like wakes up and he's like, what, what, what? And they're like, hey man, you've been here for like four hours. Like they want you to leave. Yeah. And he's like, man, fuck that shit, man. I pay my bill, I'm here. Fuck that shit. I'm taking a nap. And the guy does not look like an unhomed person. He looks like, you know, he's got the jeezies on and the whole nine yards. And so the officer's like, man, you gotta, you got a place you can stay? He's like, fuck, yeah, I got a house, man. I live right around the corner. He's to go home and he's like, fuck that, I took a nap. You know, I paid my bill, I.

[Chris Hoadley]

Can, I can take a nap.

[Brian Green]

I can take a nap.

[Chris Hoadley]

God, that reminds me, that would be a fantastic cam to watch. They need Waffle House cam.

[Brian Green]

Yes, that's a good idea. Where is The Waffle House live stream.

[Chris Hoadley]

Need that in our lives?

[Brian Green]

Yes, they have. They have a Bonnaroo live stream. They have a Burning man livestream. They have a live stream on every beach in the entire world. Why don't they have parks? Yes, we have an Eagle Nest cam. Why do we have a waffle? I guarantee it's more interesting than Eagle Nest Camp. So the guy. Anyway, the guy causes trouble and after some, you know, after the officers, for about three and a half minutes taking his shit, they're like, okay, dude, leave or go to jail. Right?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And he's like, man, fuck that. And so they take him down, right? They pull him out, they take him down, they put him in handcuffs and they find over a half a pound of cocaine in his pant pocket. A half a pound of cocaine.

[Chris Hoadley]

I mean, that's for one, for two. Why was he, why is he sleeping?

[Brian Green]

Why isn't he up and about? I mean, now. Yeah, dude, you can't go on a bender and decide to take a nap with your fucking. With your fit in your fucking pants. That's the number one bonehead mistake always made by drug users and dealers is keeping the shit on you out in public when you're fucking up. It's like my uncle said, my pretend uncle. I don't never. I don't, I don't remember where I heard this from. Don't fuck up while you're fucking up. Yeah, that's the one thing you can't do if you're going to do your, your shit, if you're going to blow lines.

[Chris Hoadley]

He was that adamant about not leaving, all he had to do was leave.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, see, some people are just dumb. Some criminals are just dumb. They're just dumb, dumb, dumb. So anyway, moral of the story is don't leave cocaine in your pocket. If you're taking a nap at Waffle House, it's likely you're going to go to jail. And not for the sleeping part. For the not sleeping part of the.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay, yeah, yeah. And if you do leave it and take a nap, just leave them when they ask you to leave.

[Brian Green]

Yes, Just leave. Just say, I'll take the. I'll take the ticket. Which is usually like a trust passing ticket. I'll take the ticket and I'm out of here. Walk home and wake yourself back up with all that cocaine you have in your pocket. Number one. Number two, second part of this story is after this is like a Facebook video that I saw. Then after watching this entire video, which was like 26 minutes long, then I get an ad again, I don't know what in the world is going on with Facebook, but they have un. They have uncoupled from any kind of ad safety whatsoever.

[Chris Hoadley]

Are you releasing the tatas?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, not the tatas. I got an ad for something called Wanna Bump. And Wanna Bump is a product, a powder product made with pure caffeine and something called Nosetol. Nose at all? It sounds like it's just made up nose.

[Chris Hoadley]

You're kidding me.

[Brian Green]

No, I'm not.

[Chris Hoadley]

I mean, it's good product placement, I guess.

[Brian Green]

Listen, they knew I was interested in the cocaine video. They said I'm probably interested in cocaine. Here's the closest thing we got to it. But it literally is powder. Like in one of those little, you know, like in a capsule, like a cocaine vial.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Have you ever gotten cocaine in a cocaine vial? I mean, have you ever seen cocaine in a cocaine vial? I've seen it in movies. Okay, You've seen it in movies. I used to have like a really hoity toity dealer, like, you know, back in my 20s. Not D, okay? No, that was D. No, D was a baggy kind of guy. You know, I'm saying D was a baggy kind of guy, but I used to have like a hoity toity dealer. I worked in the. What's called the rich part of town near Buckhead Vinings. And we used to have a hoity toity dealer. And that hoity toity dealer would give you a gram in a little vial, like. Yeah, the little brown vials with the black tops on it. You know what I'm saying? And he said it was to keep it from getting moist and all this other shit. And I always just found it to be a waste of resources. And it's extra stuff you have to get rid of in a weird way around the house. I mean, at times I'd have like 10 vials just sitting around the house.

[Chris Hoadley]

Did you save them?

[Brian Green]

I did, I saved them. For what? I don't know. You can't bring them anywhere. I mean, if you think a baggie is bad, wait till the cop pulls out a vial from your fucking pocket. And you know, it just. And then doesn't anybody ask questions way before Amazon? Doesn't anybody ask questions when you go to the head shop or vile store? The vial store, the glass vial store. I mean, honestly, it's just so silly. This guy thought he was all that in a bag of cheese, but then he also charged like $110.

[Chris Hoadley]

I was gonna say he probably upcharged you with the Vile cost.

[Brian Green]

Listen, he thought he had the best cocaine in anywhere. Like that was his thing. But it wasn't ever. He had more nose at all than actual cocaine in there. I'm sure of it. Baby laxative or whatever they come with, you know, B vitamin B12 is, I think, is a popular one. Baby laxative is another one. Because you think you're doing good cocaine until you actually get good cocaine.

[Chris Hoadley]

Like I can imagine.

[Brian Green]

Let's just pretend for a second. Let's go down the. Let's go. Let's go to Mr. Rogers neighborhood and be in the imaginary kingdom and assume that one was to take a trip picturing puppets. Mrs. The Queen of a match is the queen. Yes. I hereby declare this to be brown cocaine vial day. The little trolley.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. It'll take you to the land.

[Brian Green]

Daniel Tiger's neighborhood, which is Daniel Tiger, if you remember, from Mr. Rogers neighborhood. Daniel Tiger was the cute little tiger puppet.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And Mrs. Fern Gully, or whatever her name was, the lady who always talked to Daniel Tiger. Daniel Tiger is now an extraordinarily popular cartoon with the kids. They've got a whole series, and I love that that tradition is carried on. I tried to get my kids to sit down and watch, like, actual episodes of Mr. Rogers, but it's just so grainy and weird and like it's from a different universe.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

They're like, who is that guy?

[Chris Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Why is he changing his sweater? Here's a little fun. Here's a little fun fact before we get back to it. Yes, you change the shoes. Little fun fact before we get back to Imagination land about cocaine. Mr. Rogers Neighborhood intro song the theme song to Mr. Rogers Neighborhood was the Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood played the same way twice. There's like 1400 episodes of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood.

[Chris Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

And never was it the same twice. Never. And the reason why is because it was always sung by Mr. Rogers live. Well, you could tell that just by watching it. But it was also. The piano was also played live in the studio by a certain gentleman. And that gentleman was there for all the episodes. And he always played it just a little bit differently.

[Chris Hoadley]

I like that.

[Brian Green]

Just twinkling on the keys just a little bit differently.

[Chris Hoadley]

I like that.

[Brian Green]

I like that little. That little fact warms the cockles of my heart.

[Chris Hoadley]

It does. And makes it unique.

[Brian Green]

And my heart does need some warming.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

So let's go back to Imagination Land and pretend that we were to take a. Take a trip down to a Central American country. I'm not going to name the country, but let's let's pretend that it was Costa Rica.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

And then let's pretend that you were in Costa Rica visiting and one was to get some cocaine somehow. Right. It's much closer to the source down there than it is up here. And so therefore it doesn't pass this through as many hands. So if you were to do cocaine here in America that someone said was good, and then you were to go down to a place just imagining like Costa Rica, closer to the source. Closer to the source. Then you will understand what really good cocaine is all about. And the difference is monumental. It's monumental. You remember the scene in Blow where Paul Rubens, Pee Wee Herman does the cocaine and he can't feel his face. He's testing the purity of it. He's like, it burnt. You know, bad cocaine burns at 100 degrees and you know, medium sized cocaine. What medium. Okay. Cocaine burns at 120 degrees, but pure cocaine burns at 180 degrees or whatever and it gets up to like 172 degrees. I have, I have felt that feeling in my face before where no feeling in my face before. It's, it's very interesting to notice the difference. I can't feel my face, my teeth or my toes. Cause I just put good cocaine up my nose.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. All the, you know, I love those rock docs and I love to read biographies of all the rockers from the 60s and 70s. And they all talk about how back then it was completely different.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Because they would, like, they had American pilots who were making deals with the cartels down there, the newly formed cartels that were figuring out that they were sitting on this goal and they were getting American pilots like the cocaine cowboys to put, you know, 180 pounds of pure cocaine.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And then just fly it straight to Florida or wherever they were flying it to Texas or Florida, the panhandle. And then it would just get on the streets. And at that time it wasn't a game like it didn't have. You got to think of it like an industry. It's an industry now and people step on it all along the way so that they can make extra money and sell it to fucking morons like Brian out of margarita cups of chilies. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Chris Hoadley]

Sometimes in the fancy vial, sometimes in the fancy vile.

[Brian Green]

But I think I was paying more for the vial than anything. Yeah, but it just was a, like it's just a different game.

[Chris Hoadley]

Fleetwood Mac in it, in and of itself helped bring cocaine to the.

[Brian Green]

It's true. I mean, go back to blow and think about that story. They ended up with a hundred pounds of cocaine. And they had. They didn't know who to sell it to because not that many people even knew what cocaine was. I mean, they might have heard of it, but they didn't buy it. They didn't know what it was. And so they were creating the demand as they got the cocaine. And that's an amazing story of some ingenuity. Now I'm, you know, okay, we can all debate the morals of it, but it's really quite ingenious how they put all that together.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's fascinating.

[Brian Green]

Created an industry basically out of thin air. And listen, the product is good. It makes people feel good and that's why. That's why they like it. Right. I assume. Let's talk about. While we're on cocaine, let's talk about Charlie Sheen's new documentary.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, I have. I watched the first part.

[Brian Green]

Okay, haven't. I haven't watched it, but I did read an article, 13 Things We Learned from Charlie Sheen's new doc.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's really good so far.

[Brian Green]

Okay. I cannot wait to get. I'm so over my head, busy right now that I know I don't have a moment to breathe. So many things going in million different directions. But I will get to it this week and I hope. Here's what I learned that I was really shocked by. Shocked. And I think it's. I don't know, it reminded me of D. The drug dealer that's in the program. I don't know if he's. I don't know if you've seen if he's popped up yet.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think he's in the second part. I don't. He hasn't popped up yet.

[Brian Green]

One of the things that's revealed in the documentary is that the drug dealer himself, the guy who was selling Charlie the cocaine, buying coke, cooking it up for him and making it into cracks so that Charlie could smoke it. And Charlie was smoking like, we're talking like baseball sized rocks of cocaine. Right? That's. I mean, I don't know because I was not a crack smoker, but I can only imagine that that just must have been like professional level crack addiction.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, yeah. He discusses how he got. How he started doing the crack, but.

[Brian Green]

Okay, yeah, his dealer became so concerned at Charlie's abuse and use and his own health and his decline during all of this drama that was going on with Two and a Half Men. And, you know, Charlie out there high on coke, you know, doing all These interviews and all this other stuff and that the dealer himself said, I think I kind of like this guy. Like, I think he's kind of my friend.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. I don't want to see.

[Brian Green]

I don't want to die. Yeah. So what I'm going to do is I'm gonna start cooking the coke. I'm gonna start cooking the crack with less and less coke to make sure that Charlie doesn't kill himself.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay?

[Brian Green]

And so he did that over the course of a year and a half until the coke was so shitty, like, the crack was so shitty that Charlie was just getting a headache from it. He was just getting sick. He was getting a headache. He wasn't getting high. And that led Charlie to believe that he was so, like, tolerant of cocaine that he could no longer get high and he needed help. He was getting sick, essentially because he was getting sick because he was just, like, smoking baking soda, essentially.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right?

[Brian Green]

So that really surprised me, and I love that. I love that little story. There's, like, a little. There's a little humanity in that story that makes me happy. I don't know why it's a story about Charlie Sheen and his crack dealer, but I don't know. But it made me feel kind of happy.

[Chris Hoadley]

Plus, that was a good money source, I'm sure.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I thought, too. I thought, well, he's making more and more money every time Charlie asked for it back. I don't know. Listen, hey. Charlie is an enigma wrapped in enigma.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's a fascinating story.

[Brian Green]

So far, he's lived a life. One of the things that I hope that they address in this is Corey Haim and Corey Feldman. Because if you don't know, about 10 years ago, about a decade ago, Corey Haim died from a drug overdose himself. Corey Haim was a mess, and he was a mess. And him and Feldman kind of had this pact that they were going to out and take down sexual abusers inside of the entertainment.

[Chris Hoadley]

I remember that.

[Brian Green]

And only when Corey Haim passed did Corey Feldman feel, I guess he felt compelled to share what Corey Haim had shared with him. Which was one of the things was that on the set of Lucas where Charlie Sheen and Corey Haim are opposite each other, star in the movie, opposite each other. That. How do I say this without, you know, getting censored? Corey Haim was graped by Charlie Sheen. Graped. Think just figure that one out. Graped.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Take the G off. Graped.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

By Charlie Sheen.

[Chris Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

On set of the movie.

[Chris Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

And Corey Feldman. You can find this out there. Corey Feldman then graphically explains what Corey Haim graphically explained to him. The place, the time, who was there, who wasn't there, all this other stuff. And so I. I don't know if it's going to be addressed, but I hope it's addressed because it's a pretty serious allegation.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, that is.

[Brian Green]

And, you know, I don't know, but that. That wouldn't look, that doesn't make me think fondly of. Of Charlie Sheen, at least not at that period. Oh, no, no, for sure. Without a doubt. Speaking of Corey Feldman, one last thing.

[Chris Hoadley]

We'Ll talk about before you love you some Corey.

[Brian Green]

I do love me some Corey Feldman. He's like the world's biggest goofball.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's still out there playing to the.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he's so fucking popular, but not for the reasons he wants to be. But I don't. I don't know if it matters anymore. Like, if we had 10,000 people that wanted to show up at the Fox Theater just to laugh at us because we were silly and stupid and terrible, I think at some point it would hurt. And then at some point it would just be like, okay, just go with it. Whatever fuck people are paying to go to the Fox Theater and laugh at us. Let them pay to laugh at us. And we'll all be in on the joke together. And we'll play. We'll play it up. We'll ham it up for whatever. Whatever it is they want. But Corey Feldman is out there not only creating music that's terrible and. And laughable, in my opinion, and then people go to watch the terrible, terrible, terribly laughable music that he puts out there. But Corey Feldman is now going to be on Dancing with the Stars. He was announced as one of the people that's going to be on Dancing with the Stars. Okay, so Corey is seeing a little bit of a resurgence in popularity here. And, you know, can't fault the guy for winning, can you? I mean, at the end of the.

[Chris Hoadley]

Day, no, not at all. I might tune in for that.

[Brian Green]

I think I have to. You do?

[Chris Hoadley]

You have to?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I love watching Cory. I just. Anytime a Corey felt like something about him, he didn't have a Corey fight. There is something about him, and it's.

[Chris Hoadley]

Very nostalgic for us, too.

[Brian Green]

Well, I was never like. A lot of kids my age I think were like, the two Coreys were the coolest, you know, Feldman, I was not. It was not my thing. Lost Boys was cool.

[Chris Hoadley]

Lost Boys was good.

[Brian Green]

But I was a Kiefer Sutherland guy. Oh, I was in it for Kiefer Sutherland. Right. I thought he was the baddest ass on plan. Yeah. All the fangs and the red eyes. Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

I used to have the magazines and stuff, like bop and whatever.

[Brian Green]

Oh, you did? Oh, yeah, she had a bop.

[Chris Hoadley]

I would get those and they would have all the, you know, the splashy pages with, you know, the latest actors of the time.

[Brian Green]

Mm, mm, mm. Chrissy, they have like a cool thing.

[Chris Hoadley]

You could pull it out and put it on your wall.

[Brian Green]

I could see little Chrissy just on her bed like this.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

No phone, no iPad. Right.

[Chris Hoadley]

You didn't have it?

[Brian Green]

No. DirecTV.

[Chris Hoadley]

Just checking in with your favorite stars, imagining what your favorite teen stars.

[Brian Green]

Imagining what her and Corey would do on a day at the mall. We go to Spencer's and get our ears pierced.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's weird. Cause I don't remember having like too of, you know, like, oh my God, I'm so in love with them. But it was very interesting to me. Like, what are they up to? What do they do?

[Brian Green]

They're cool. Yeah. But listen, they were living a dream that I was not living. I think I. I think I appreciated them for that, is that they were, you know, they were older than me at the time, but they. But maybe I could be there someday. Maybe I could be living.

[Chris Hoadley]

I could be in that world. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I could be a Brad Packer. Right, right. And the Bratpackers were way older than me, but you know, Roblo and Molly Ringwald.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

All those kids. So anyway. All right, well, listen, to address the elephant in the room, yesterday we put out an episode where Gary Vee and I had an opportunity to commiserate over the events of the day. You can go listen to it. I'm not going to rehash all of that. We're going to take a. I think it's. We're just going to leave it alone at this point. But to address another thing, Chrissy wasn't here because of a scheduling conflict. And that. So that's why you do not hear Chrissy in that episode. There's been a few people who texted it.

[Chris Hoadley]

I couldn't make it.

[Brian Green]

It's okay. I think we had a good conversation with you did.

[Chris Hoadley]

You did a good job.

[Brian Green]

Thank you. I appreciate it. And a lot of people texted in and shared that they felt better after the episode or it was good that I put it out. Thank you very much. And then a few people were concerned that you weren't there. Let me repeat again. It was a scheduling conflict. Scheduling conflictual. It had nothing like, we didn't fire Chrissy or anything.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's actually a funny story behind it, but.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but we're not going to. Yeah, we'll leave it. We'll leave it at that. I don't want to embarrass anybody. Wasn't our fault this time. Actually wasn't our fault. We just rolled with the punches.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, you did.

[Brian Green]

Okay, let's take a break from everything today. Let me do a mountain monsters. Let's do a mountain.

[Chris Hoadley]

We need some mountain monsters in our life right now.

[Brian Green]

Let's have a giggle.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

I'll.

[Brian Green]

I'll take a break. I'll load one up, and when we get back, a mountain monsters.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. I'm out on our little break. I local coffee shop, and I'm talking to one of the people behind the counter, and they say, I want to start my own podcast. To which I reply, you already have more listeners than we do. But their question to me was, what do I need in order to launch a podcast? Three things. A microphone, an idea, and a website. And our good friends at Squarespace, they have the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're creating content, selling something, offering a service, or just want to keep people informed about your Comings and goings. You can build your website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. And if a website is a building block of a business, what's the building blocks of the website? Two things in my opinion. Number one, design. You gotta have a good looking design. And Squarespace has a collection of cutting edge design tools that anyone can use to build a website that fits your brand perfectly. Number two, building block, you have to be found. As I've often said about podcasting, if you want to be heard, you have to get found. No different out there on the world wide web. And search engine optimization is the key to doing that. While some companies and services may charge thousands or tens of thousands of dollars for search engine optimization, it's included with every single website on Squarespace. And the great news about all of this is you do not have to be some designer programmer, search engine optimization expert. Squarespace is designed to help me build a website, and if I can do it, you can do it. I'm really not all that smart. Go to squarespace.com/commercial to save 10 off your purchase of a website or domain using the code commercial and start building your business or grow the one that you have or refresh that multi billion dollar conglomerate. Squarespace.com commercial and when you're ready to launch, make sure to use the code commercial. And thank you to Squarespace for always being a sponsor of the commercial break.

[Rachel]

When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans, send event invites and pin messages so no one forgets mom 60th and never miss a meme or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn [e-mail].

[Brian Green]

Okay, we're back trying to put a little light in your life, and Chrissy and I have some mountain monsters we'd like to share with you.

[Chris Hoadley]

I was thinking about it and I was like, we need some mountain monsters, don't we?

[Brian Green]

I agree with you. I agree with you. We need to lighten the mood a little bit. It's a dark time, so let's go into the dark with a mountain monster.

[Chris Hoadley]

With our infrared lights.

[Brian Green]

With our infrared lights.

[Chris Hoadley]

Our night goggles.

[Brian Green]

Let's get the night vision out. Oh, by the way, this is Huck and Chuck. And get kidnapped.

[Chris Hoadley]

Get kidnapped.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. This should be a good one.

[Chris Hoadley]

Wood Cat. Where are they? Wood County.

[Brian Green]

Wood County. Wood County, Virginia. Let me turn that.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh my God, look at. He's got a mask on.

[Brian Green]

Oh my God.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh. Are these the kidnappers?

[Brian Green]

Yes. Oh.

[Chris Hoadley]

Why are they building them?

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Oh, that road team pushed all three of our guys in the back of that van. Me and Wild Bill's gonna haul ass across this field.

[Brian Green]

Me and Wild Bill gonna haul ass off this field. They let me out temporarily to do this video and then I have to get back to kidnapped. I'm screaming loudly in the hopes that someone comes to save us and try.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

To catch up with them. Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's.

[Brian Green]

Go, let's go, let's go. We got all these guns, but let's not use them. If you don't use the guns. And this in the case of kidnapping, when are you going to use the guns? Yeah, they're right there. Shoot them.

[Chris Hoadley]

There's chasing a van on foot and this guy says, damn, don't you feel alive?

[Brian Green]

I do. Oh, and by the way, two 83 year old men who've been down at the wacking tree chasing after a brand new Ford focus van. Yeah, it's not gonna do it.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's what I was saying. Why are they on foot?

[Brian Green]

Well, because, you know, where's their four by whatever they call it.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Oh, come on. What?

[Brian Green]

The Monster mobile.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

What? Where we going? We're gonna go for a little ride.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, they kidnapped him with their mics on.

[Brian Green]

That's right. We put microphones on the kidnappers.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

We have somebody that wants to talk to you guys.

[Brian Green]

We have somebody that wants to talk to you guys. His name is Mr. Big.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Let's go. Come on, let's go.

[Brian Green]

Him.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Brother boy. Beat Pete over there and get Bucks.

[Chris Hoadley]

I didn't understand anything he said.

[Brian Green]

It's so good.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Duck and follow.

[Brian Green]

Expert tracker.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

We're the only backup the team's got. We got to catch up with them, Bill.

[Chris Hoadley]

Now they're in a vehicle.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Back up.

[Brian Green]

Why does he always sound like he's got more air in his mouth than he's.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

I see him now stay back.

[Brian Green]

I don't want to get too close. Turn on.

[Chris Hoadley]

Don't get too close. Why not?

[Brian Green]

Turn on 107.6.

[Chris Hoadley]

Stay back.

[Brian Green]

That they got a marathon.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Brakes.

[Brian Green]

Stay back. You have your headlights on you. You're the only ones in the middle of this field. But stay back.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Only stopping for moves. Now you can have your camera back.

[Brian Green]

Now you can have your camera back. So you can take evidence to the police. I've got news for you. The man I'm taking You to see is the sheriff of these here woods. Sheriff. Not in ham.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

You don't know where the hell you're at. You can film all you want now, big boy.

[Brian Green]

Say cheese.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

The van stops, A guy gets out and comes back and gives us her camera.

[Chris Hoadley]

I'm filming, but they've got hoods on.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, and Buck's got a lot of. On his shirt.

[Chris Hoadley]

God, he looks like he has a bra on.

[Brian Green]

He does. Huck needs to get that to the dry cleaners immediately. That is the dirtiest shirt I've ever seen on a person.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, it's bad.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

We must be so far out.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they're. Yeah. By the way, they have, like, corn sack hoods on them. Like the scarecrow.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Matter if we start recording? Because no one's gonna recognize where we're at anyway.

[Brian Green]

Because no one's gonna take this for evidence when we give it to the FBI. I don't know, but I don't remember seeing in the news that these guys got kidnapped.

[Chris Hoadley]

No, it was. It didn't make the news.

[Brian Green]

And by the way, why are you talking outside of the van if you're kidnapped inside of the van?

[Chris Hoadley]

This has really gone off the rails.

[Brian Green]

It's a bit incongruent, but let me not point out the obvious. Let's roll with the imaginary. Let's roll with the imaginary. Here, Chrissy. All right.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

You have her? Yeah, I'm doing fine.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'm doing fine. You got a Bud Light?

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

We're talking to a minimum. You guys have no idea what you done got your left.

[Brian Green]

You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, did they?

[Brian Green]

These guys chase mythological tiger camels for a living. They absolutely have an idea of what they're getting themselves into. He's making a left, Right?

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Here we go, guys. What are they stopping for? Showing up a little bit, see what's going on.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, let's just stay way far behind so as not to rescue them on accident.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

There, like home. Stay calm.

[Brian Green]

You guys. Ease right out. Out of there. Huck has never eased right out of any anywhere. Poor boy. He is huge.

[Chris Hoadley]

Really is.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Back up camera.

[Chris Hoadley]

Back up, back up camera.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, backup camera. Why are you just letting the cameraman walk around? What is going. What kind of kidnapping is this?

[Chris Hoadley]

One kind that could happen in Wood County, Virginia.

[Brian Green]

Wood County, Virginia.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Guys, right now I'm getting led into this old, creepy building. We have no idea what these guys want or what the hell they're capable of. Cameraman.

[Chris Hoadley]

I love that he's narrating his own kidnapping.

[Brian Green]

Seriously, they are. There's nothing. There's no. These are the worst kidnappers in the history of kidnapping.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

You get right on in there. We gotta get to them, guys.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I think we've seen the end of this one. This is looking familiar to me now. I think we do see the end of this one. Like a mythological creature saves them from certain destruction.

[Chris Hoadley]

Really?

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

We go into our camera guy. Keep your mouth shut about what we do.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they're chaining them to the floor. Interesting. But it kind of. It kind of drops the suspense level a little bit when you know that they're already been released.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So when they do these cutaway videos when they're talking to the camera solo, it, you know, I already know that they've been released, and that kind of drops the. The scare factor. Yeah, I'm not really all that worried for them because they look fine in the cutaway videos.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

My cabin should be right up here. Me and brother Willie, we're recon around this cabin. We're gonna get up there and put an eyeball on, see what the hell is going on with our team.

[Brian Green]

I'm gonna run in circles around the cabin.

[Chris Hoadley]

That guy. That way. That guy talks.

[Brian Green]

I know. I'm gonna run around in circles around the cabin with my pants down. And then Willie's gonna go in there and stick his pink pony right in the hole. We're gonna see if we can't jizz him out of there. It's a good old fashioned jizz.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Remember? Sit down. I said sit down. Sit down. Go easy, guys.

[Brian Green]

Go easy, guys. I mean, you already done kidnapped us. You gotta push us around too. Yeah.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Come on, big boy. We walk into this cabin, it's pitch dark. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Come on, big boy. Give it to me.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

They slam us down into these chairs. I can only imagine that guy pee his pants.

[Brian Green]

Did I see pee in his pants? I think he did. Let's see. Yep, there's the tail of the tape. Oh, a little pee pee poo poo.

[Chris Hoadley]

Or is that the. The shadow from the camera?

[Brian Green]

Well, I'd like to imagine this pee, pee, pee, peeing his pants.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

I can only imagine what's going to happen next.

[Brian Green]

I'm getting really excited about what's happening next.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

It'll be all right.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Oh, oh.

[Brian Green]

I guess we can turn the thermals off now.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

There's a huge bright light just turned.

[Chris Hoadley]

Like a floodlight.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but we're still in black and white thermal mode. Oh, oh. There we go.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Kicks on right in our face. You can see a mirror on the wall and you can see a speaker and a camera.

[Brian Green]

Wow, someone really thought this out very well. Yeah, they thought the kidnapping of the mountain monsters out to a T. They built a cabin in the woods with a two way mirror and a camera and a light.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

I've never seen a place like this, but it looks like an interrogation room. Why are we here?

[Brian Green]

You'll find out soon enough. I don't know who the Medicare left here. Meanwhile, you know, frickin fracker outside, they don't know what to do except to talk to the camera. You guys gotta go in, use your guns. Well, I'll tell you what.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Well, if you felt. If you sit back, you're doing shows.

[Chris Hoadley]

Sit back and enjoy the show.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, sit back and enjoy the show. I now present to you Ghost Hunter Season 2 on Travel Channel.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

What is this place? This whole situation is weird. We can get up and walk out of here at any time.

[Brian Green]

Then why don't you?

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

But if we want answers, we gotta see what's next. Listen, walk around. There's somebody in there. Hello.

[Brian Green]

Hello. You don't happen to have any deli meat back there, do you?

[Chris Hoadley]

A Mountain Dew.

[Brian Green]

A Mountain Dew. A submarine sandwich. I'm very scared. I get scared. I get the bubble guts. I need something to settle my tummy down and my friend here done pissed himself.

[Chris Hoadley]

He needs a fresh pair of pants.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, if you got an extra pair of drawers. I appreciate it. I know we could get up and walk out at any time, but we're just curious by nature. We thought we'd stay here and for certain death and figure out what's going on.

[Chris Hoadley]

See the show.

[Brian Green]

You don't mind if my cameraman walks around and takes some photographs, do you?

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Hello. Why are we here?

[Chris Hoadley]

All right, Buck's getting up.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Buck's getting up. He's going for it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Going head to eyeball to eyeball with the mirror.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, eyeball to eyeball with himself. Right to the straight to the two way mirror where he can't see through.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Hello?

[Brian Green]

Grandma, is that you? I told you boys not to be running around in the woods. Oh. Oh, cool.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Sit down. Sit down.

[Chris Hoadley]

Like out of a haunted house.

[Brian Green]

I've ordered dominoes and we're all going to watch the seven little Johnstons together. It gets lonely out here. What tomfoolery is going on here? All right, let's take a break. We'll get back to the kidnapping here very shortly. We'll be back.

[Rachel]

Let me do something Brian has never done.

[Brian Green]

Be brief.

[Rachel]

Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-4333 TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercial break and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult now was it? You're welcome.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Bundle and safe. With Expedia, you were made to follow your favorite band. And from the front row we were made to quietly save you. More Expedia made to travel Savings vary and subject to availability. Flight inclusive packages are atoll protected.

[Rachel]

This episode is brought to you by Greenlight. Get this, adults with financial literacy skills have 82% more wealth than those who don't. From swimming lessons to piano classes, us parents invest in so many things to enrich our kids lives. But are we investing in their future financial success? With Greenlight, you can teach your kids financial literacy skills like earning, saving and investing. And this investment costs less than that. After school treat start prioritizing their financial education and future today with a risk free [e-mail] bottle greenlight.com Spotify Heather is.

[Brian Green]

A nurse practitioner from UnitedHealthcare. We meet patients wherever they live. During a house call, she found Jack had an issue.

[Rachel]

Jack's blood pressure was dangerously high.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

It was 217 over 110.

[Brian Green]

So they got Jack to the hospital and got him the help he needed.

[Chris Hoadley]

He had had a stent placed in.

[Rachel]

His heart, preventing a massive heart attack.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

If it wasn't for my guardian angel, I wouldn't be here.

[Brian Green]

Here, hear more stories like [e-mail] benefits, features and or devices vary by plan. Area limitation and exclusions apply. Okay, and we're back with Huck and Chuck and the boys and they are currently kidnapped, if that's what you call kind of kidnapped. Yeah, their hands are tied behind their backs. Unless they're not tied behind their backs or tied in the front of their backs. And they're chained to the floor. Unless they're not chained to the floor.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, then the other guy, he. His hands are out in front, but bucks are in back. I don't know what's happening.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, and. And he. Did he pee himself? Oh, is that just the color of the jeans?

[Chris Hoadley]

The color of the jeans.

[Brian Green]

Okay, well, that blows my imaginary joke out of the water.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Sitting. Damn, I'm sitting. As soon as that skeleton appeared in my face and said Sit down.

[Brian Green]

I knew you could buy it at Home Depot for 24.99 every Halloween season.

[Chris Hoadley]

It does look like it's straight out of, like, the cheap mask.

[Brian Green]

Those Halloween stories that pop up.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Spirito Halloween.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

I sat down. There's not a whole lot of things that scare me, but that did.

[Brian Green]

That's why I'm not allowed at Costco. Between September 4th and November 3rd, you.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Got to kill the stone as giant.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

No, hey, wrong.

[Brian Green]

Here's the guy that killed the stone is giant.

[Chris Hoadley]

That was pretty specific.

[Brian Green]

That was really specific. He knew exactly.

[Chris Hoadley]

And then the guy goes, no, try again.

[Brian Green]

You're the guy who killed John T. McGillicuddy. Born 1933, Chicago, Illinois. No. Would you like to try again? I like this game.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

We're going to play until you get it right.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

What do you want with us? I want to make a deal. A deal?

[Brian Green]

Yes. I have some tops, baseball cards from 1984 that I can't sell on the open market because. Because they've been slightly dented. You buy them and I will let your family live. I need a receipt and a bit of sale.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

I tell you what, right now, boy, there's no way in hell we're gonna help you kill another damn bigfoot.

[Brian Green]

How do you know I'm old?

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

I never said I was after a bigfoot. What are you after? I want you to go back to Lee County, Virginia, Back to the dark forest. And I want you to pick up.

[Brian Green]

All the trash that you left there.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

To capture the woman of the woods.

[Brian Green]

Oh, the good old woman of the woods. We've heard about the woman of the woods.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Was that the one where what's his name fell into the ice cold water.

[Brian Green]

And he couldn't get out? He was shaking. And there was like an image of a small girl running around the woods. Yep, that's it.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

The woman of the woods. One of the woods is someone we don't want to mess with. This team's already had one heck of an encounter with her. When we were in Lee County. She touched Huckleberry and Jeff.

[Brian Green]

She tried to whack them both off, but they weren't into it, got scared.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

And marked them for death.

[Chris Hoadley]

It just flashed to the previous time, I guess. They saw the woman in the woods and one of them, one of them.

[Brian Green]

Just like an Indian with more paint on his face. He's got like a benetton shirt on.

[Chris Hoadley]

And like a headpiece.

[Brian Green]

He's got a headband with a long feather. He's screaming into the Void. This looks like my weekend.

[Chris Hoadley]

The cacao ceremony really does.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Look at mushroom ceremony. I think a few people were doing the same thing.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Ended up facing off with her. His hut collapsed down on him and walked off with her.

[Brian Green]

And now we haven't seen him since.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

When we found him, he's bleeding. He's bleeding. He was covered in blood.

[Brian Green]

Yep. That's as realistic looking blood as I've seen in a long time.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

He threw this team for a loop and she affected Jeff's mind. Maybe for life. All right.

[Brian Green]

Maybe for life. Life.

[Chris Hoadley]

They're so dramatic.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

We help you get this woman of the wood.

[Brian Green]

They really are. They're really overdramatic. By the way, why is there a stereo in the background? Are they gonna play some music later?

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

How's this benefit us?

[Brian Green]

Let me make a deal with you. Since my hands are tied behind my back. What do we get out of it?

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

I have something you want. What's that?

[Brian Green]

Deep dish pizza from Chicago.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

If you capture don't have the woods in exchange I'll bring you those who killed the stone giant.

[Chris Hoadley]

Stone is giant?

[Brian Green]

Oh, they want to get their hands on the stoneish giant killer. For what reason? I don't know. I don't watch the show. What are you asking me about?

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

You didn't kill him. No. But you know who did. And I know where the bodies added. He says he can deliver who killed the stone as giant and let us know where the body is if he.

[Brian Green]

Can make and we really want to know.

[Chris Hoadley]

Telling me to believe him.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Something, I don't know trustworthy about it, but the skeleton mask behind the two wave mirrors seems trustworthy. So I'm deciding in order for them to release me from my kidnapping, I will agree to such a deal.

[Chris Hoadley]

The other guy who's just sitting. Jeff, I think is his name. He's just sitting there with his hands in front of him. Just sitting in the.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, because he's like, holy shit. I gotta go to the woman of the woods again. Last time I ended up with my pasty white legs all full of blood Deal.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

That's something we're really gonna have to consider. Go to the dark forest and you'll find what you're looking for. Right down through there.

[Brian Green]

All right.

[Chris Hoadley]

Swarm, we got the other two out.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Now the other two guys have decided they're gonna move in.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

How do we know you'll keep good on your deal? I've never.

[Brian Green]

You can have my car keys.

[Chris Hoadley]

I've never lied to you.

[Brian Green]

I've never lied. I've never lied to you. He said, I've never lied to you.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Lied to you, and I never will. Yeah, you kind of did because you told us she was going to contact us. We sat around by the phone for months.

[Chris Hoadley]

Give them hell.

[Brian Green]

Give them hell. I sat there waiting for you to call for months.

[Chris Hoadley]

I sat around the phone for months.

[Brian Green]

You told me you could pick me up, take me out somewhere. Eyes. It's all lies. I wash dishes, I clean the house. I take care of the chitlins. And all you do is lie, lie, lie. I'm done with you, stoneish giant killer.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

You speak with such certainty. There are secrets you've yet to learn.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, Jedi master.

[Brian Green]

Yes. What the?

[Chris Hoadley]

You have secrets left to learn.

[Brian Green]

Secrets you have not learned yet. I do. You must kill stoneish giant. And then I will tell you. I will.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

I don't know what that means. So far it seems like one big riddle after the next.

[Brian Green]

I don't know what that means, but it does not coordinate with the storyboarding we did for season three.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Right now we're playing by his rules and I'm about tired of it. Everything you need is in front of you.

[Brian Green]

A stereo, a light, a two way mirror, candlestick, a candlestick, a candlestick, a matchmaker, a matchstick, and a widowmaker.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Where'd you go? Hey.

[Brian Green]

I can't do this voice forever. It hurts my throat. I gotta get some tea.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

I don't know who in the hell this guy is, but he claims that everything we need to catch this woman of the woods is right in front of us. See that moving in that left window again?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. The mirror. It's you guys. That's what you need, you dumb shit. It's not that hard of a riddle to figure out.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Yeah, I see somebody moving around a bunch. Jeff, I had you zip tied in front for a reason. I know you don't have no shoulder problems.

[Brian Green]

I know you don't have no shoulder problems.

[Rachel]

I know.

[Chris Hoadley]

He was zip tied. I didn't see that. I thought he was just sitting there.

[Brian Green]

But I'm figuring to give you one. If you could do me a favor and wrap your short arms around my body, we could stay together for warmth. Oh, we can just walk right out of here. Can you just hug me anyway?

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

They patted up down. They missed a knife in the right top part of his boot. We're getting antsy. It's about time to get out of here.

[Brian Green]

We're getting antsy. I gotta do a number two and Jeff's done pissed himself again.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Me out of these things. Get the hell out of here.

[Chris Hoadley]

Get that one off the camera.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, the little red camera. The. Like the nest camera. Recording everything they do.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Answer's right in front of our face. I'm tired of these guys. The answer's right in front of our face. I want to see yours.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

Oh. He's throwing the chair through the window. Don't get violent. Oh, now's the time to run. Now the guys outside decide to move. Yeah, they've been in there for an hour and a half. Death talking to the stone. Ish. Giant killer.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Hail bully.

[Brian Green]

Come on. Get over.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

What in the hell? What is the holy.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

It's a hog's head.

[Brian Green]

What the. He is a hog's head.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Well, Buck throws that chair through that mirror, all of a sudden, right there behind it, this damn hog's head on a stake. Blood coming out of its nose, its ears, its eyes. What the hell does that mean?

[Chris Hoadley]

What's the signature leave behind?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's what the stone is. Giant killer leaves. That's his calling card. Pig's head. Yeah, it's also the symbol for a lot of barbecue places in town. So, you know, could be one of the barbecue place owners. I don't know. I'm just saying. Now I'll shoot you. Shoot me? Shoot you?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, those guys showed up and. No, look.

[Brian Green]

They're pointing the guns at the guys. They know.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's so stupid.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Look in here. Check it out. What the hell?

[Brian Green]

What do you mean, what the hell?

[Chris Hoadley]

What the hell?

[Brian Green]

A Hogan. A hogan. I love pig's ears. Let's get them. Let's pickle those bad boys and have some dinner. It really does. Poor thing. It's got bat ears.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's.

[Brian Green]

Someone in the prop department went wrong on this one.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Dang.

[Brian Green]

That's not how a pig's ears look.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

What's that all about? I don't know. We gotta figure out how we're gonna get Zach unchained again. Chained up like an elephant. Are you freaking serious?

[Chris Hoadley]

Like an elephant.

[Brian Green]

He's laying right here.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Ernest Thomas. Man, look at that. How'd you not see that?

[Brian Green]

Dude, you're such a dumb ass.

[Chris Hoadley]

Else.

[Brian Green]

I hate you. I've hated you said you joined the crew.

[Chris Hoadley]

Who was changed.

[Brian Green]

The cameraman was changed. That's how it all went down.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Let's get out here and look and see if we can see anybody.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, let's do that.

[Chris Hoadley]

I mean, he's asking the cameraman how he missed the key. Yeah, the cameraman always misses the.

[Brian Green]

The cameraman hasn't missed. The cameraman is known to miss. That's what he does. He didn't get the woman of the woods. He didn't get the Bigfoot. He didn't get the, you know, lion manes, Tiger. Yeah, the wolfish. He didn't get the Stonish giant. He didn't get any of it. What?

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

In here? Holy. I'm telling you guys, there was someone in here. He was standing right there talking to us. We never seen nobody leave. Guys, they're. They're gone. There's nothing else we can do.

[Brian Green]

Guys. There's nothing else we can do. Let's not call the authoritas. Let's not get the FBI involved, local sheriff, the community helper or anything like that.

[Chris Hoadley]

No, no, no.

[Brian Green]

Because there's nothing we can do. Absolutely nothing.

[Chris Hoadley]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

Ah, geez. What an exciting episode. Monsters, adrenaline. That's only nine minutes of the 48 minute episode. What did they fill the rest with? I mean, honestly. Oh, wow. We. All right.

[Chris Hoadley]

They never disappoint.

[Brian Green]

They do never disappoint. It gave me a laugh for the first time in 24 hours. So that I appreciate. Good for you, mountain monsters. Good for you. All right, well, listen, it's good to have you back.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, good to be back.

[Brian Green]

You know, if you care to, you can go listen to yesterday's episode. That's me and Gary Vee having a little chat about the day's events. And yeah, listen, we gotta rev down a little bit. We've been saying it for a long time, but now this might be a moment where we all can find some clarity and rev down just a. Just a little bit. It's too hot in the kitchen. It's way too hot in the kitchen. And violence only begets violence. And we know this for a fact. So let's everybody take a deep breath and agree to disagree on some things. But maybe like Gary and I did, we just have some calm, rational conversation and work it through. Now I don't have a lot of faith that that's going to happen everywhere around the world, but it'll happen right here on the commercial break.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, we get to start. We have to be the chief change.

[Brian Green]

We do. Be the change you want to see in others. As Ram Dass once said.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, wrong.

[Brian Green]

Anyway, I do want to thank Gary for coming on. He selflessly said, I don't want to promote anything on this episode. So go check out Gary Vee's social media. He's got a marketing company if you need help.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's an interesting guy.

[Brian Green]

Very interesting. He started like one of the first Wands 9 clubs. You know, he's, he, he's done it all. He's been very successful. He's into NFTs and cryptocurrency in a way that I think is meaningful. Check him out. Do a little research on Gary Vee. If you don't know who he is, but I have a suspicion you know who he is. He's pretty famous and. Yeah. And then we'll be back next week. Have a great weekend. We'll be back next week with Salva Kano. Check out that Chrissy. What do you think? Think about that.

[Chris Hoadley]

I'm excited.

[Brian Green]

Think about them apples. 212-4333TCB YouTube.com the commercial break and at the commercial break on Instagram. You can also go to the website tcb podcast.com okay. I guess that's all I can do for now.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you that I love you.

[Chris Hoadley]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say goodbye. Mint is still $15 and month for premium wireless. And if you haven't made the switch.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Yet, here are 15 reasons why you should. 1.

[Brian Green]

It's $15 a month. 2.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Seriously, it's $15 a month.

[Brian Green]

3.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

No big contracts. 4.

[Brian Green]

I use it.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

5.

[Brian Green]

My mom uses it.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Are you, are you playing me off?

[Brian Green]

That's what's happening, right? Okay, give it a try. @mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan.

[Rachel]

$15 per month equivalent required. New customer offer first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See mint mobile.com tonight. Turn down the noise of the day and focus on the rest with agz, the nightly drink for winding down and resting up. New from AG1, AGZ supports your body's natural sleep cycle with clinically studied key herbs, adaptogens and minerals in amounts supported by research. And no melatonin helping you wake feeling rested, wind down, rest up with Agz learn [e-mail] this episode is brought to.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

You by FXX and Hulu.

[Brian Green]

Futurama returns on September 15. Blending heartfelt moments with razor sharp humor.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

While accidentally saving the day.

[Brian Green]

The Planet Express crew is back, defying.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Gravity and common sense.

[Brian Green]

From the creator of The Simpsons comes.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

10 new episodes where the romance is.

[Brian Green]

Hotter, the thrill are bigger and the action hits harder.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Don't miss the all new season of.

[Brian Green]

Futurama returning September 15th at 8pm Watch.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

It on FXX or streaming on Hulu.

[Brian Green]

Ram and Doug Limu and I always tell you to customize your car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. But now we want you to feel it. Cue the emu music. Limu.

[Rachel]

Save yourself money today.

[Brian Green]

Increase your wealth.

[Rachel]

Customize and save.

[Brian Green]

We save. That may have been too much feeling. Only pay for what you need@liberty mutual.com.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

Liberty Liberty Liberty Liberty Savings Very unwritten.

[Brian Green]

By Liberty Mutual Insurance Company affiliates excludes Massachusetts. That's the sound of the fully electric Audi Q6E Tron and the quiet confidence of ultra smooth handling. The elevated interior reminds you this is.

[Mountain Monsters Narrator]

More than an ev. This is electric performance redefined.