← The Commercial Break
The Commercial Break
Knock Him Out...Please
01:06:07
Bryan & Krissy discuss Mission Tompossible, Sc*entology, Ringo’s Rent-A-Car, airport troubles, send us your dating red flags, Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson, the Paul brothers, parents and splurging and getting old, road trips, conversion vans, and wills.
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- [00:01]
Kevin Love
This message comes from high performance apparel that moves you. Building mental fitness is vital to everyone's success on and off the court. That's why Roan is proud to partner with the NBA five time all star Kevin Love and the Kevin Love Fund. Together they're opening up discussions and enabling action around mind health. Find out more about how we're getting every head in the game@roan.com mental fitness that's r h o n e.com mental fitness forever forward this message comes from high performance apparel that moves you. Building mental fitness is vital to everyone's success on and off the court. That's why Roan is proud to partner with the NBA five time all star Kevin Love and the Kevin Love Fund. Together they're opening up discussions and enabling action around mind health. Find out more about how we're getting every head in the game@roan.com mental fitness that's r h o n e.com mental fitness roan forever Forward now that I'm.
- [01:01]
Brian Green
A fashion designer, I'm in a tuple threat.
- [01:03]
Christina Hoatley
Reality star, actress, singer, song reader, perfumist, IBS survivor, best selling author of a.
- [01:10]
Brian Green
Book I didn't write. Catchphrase coiner. I'll take that with cheese on this.
- [01:19]
Jake Paul
Episode of the commercial break.
- [01:21]
Brian Green
And I think Jake has made a mockery of boxing, though I do think he is a fighter that has some command of what he's doing. He's not a traditional boxer. He's more of a street brawler. But he's a big guy and he can swing.
- [01:34]
Chris Hoatley
I don't think they would have done the fight moved forward.
- [01:38]
Brian Green
No.
- [01:38]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah.
- [01:39]
Brian Green
No. But let there be sweet justice in this universe and let him get the holy shit knocked out of him. I don't want to see the guy like permanently hurt. I just want to see Mike Tyson just hit him a couple times.
- [01:49]
Chris Hoatley
Knock him out.
- [01:50]
Brian Green
Knock him out. Please, Mike, please. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yes, we certainly are cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of the show, Chris and Joy Hoatley. Best to you Chris.
- [02:12]
Chris Hoatley
Best to you Brian, and best to.
- [02:13]
Brian Green
You out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. I am. You have to excuse me. I'm in the middle of watching the brand new trailer for Tom Cruise's new Mission Impossible movie where Tom is hanging onto an airplane that is doing circles that is like literally twisting in the sky and he's hanging onto the airplane and this is not a stunt Double. This is Tom actually doing this. Who in the good fuck is allowing this to Happen? He is 72. How old is he? 67, 68 years old. How old is Tom Cruise? He's got to be in his 60s, right?
- [02:45]
Chris Hoatley
I think so.
- [02:46]
Brian Green
How old is that Scientologist guy? 62. He's 62 years old. And somehow Paramount, who I think makes. I think they make these movies, it's still allowing him to do these incredibly insane stunts. If he dies along with it goes some of the most, some of the only big tent gangbuster for sure, making a billion dollar movies. And I don't know how they're letting him do this. Let the stunt double do it. You're 62, Tom. Don't you have children? They have Suri and Yuri and Fry.
- [03:22]
Chris Hoatley
Yes.
- [03:23]
Brian Green
French fry and something like that. Right. And isn't he like the, you know, king of the Scientology world? Like, how is Scientology letting him do this? That's my question. Isn't there somebody at Scientology going, hey, this, this guy goes. And we got the only representative that has ever brought more people in. The door is gone. That's it. He's gone.
- [03:42]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah, I know. He see, he likes to do all his own stunts.
- [03:45]
Brian Green
Nine times out of ten, I will wholly reject big tent, tent pole kind of summer blockbuster movies. We've talked about this, twisters and all this. I just. I just wholly reject the idea of cgi big action sequence. Like, I just don't. I know they're popular for a reason, because people tend to think they're. They're good movies, they're fun, they're enjoyable. You go to the movies and you have a little, you know, two hours where you're not thinking about something else. But I just don't get into those type of movies usually. But I do have to say that I caught the latest Mission Impossible on television, like on hbo, I don't know, maybe two months ago, and it was fun from beginning to end. It is. I liked it. Yeah. I was like, okay, I get why people like this now. I haven't seen half of those Mission Impossible movies and I. And now I'm looking forward to the next, you know, the next one coming out because I'm like, okay, now we get to see how the finish, the story finishes because it's a part one.
- [04:43]
Chris Hoatley
Part two, really finished.
- [04:44]
Brian Green
How many of there been six, I think. Okay, how many? Let's see. Hold on one second. Oh my God. No, Siri doesn't want to. How many of those Mission Impossible movies starring that Scientologist guy has their gun.
- [05:05]
Chris Hoatley
Sick. Sounds about right.
- [05:08]
Brian Green
Yep. Oh, well, hold on. Doesn't that sight. It's. Oh, now it wants. Now it's. And answered. Something about Valentine's Day. How many Mission Impossible movies are there? There are. Why can't you just give me one simple answer?
- [05:30]
Chris Hoatley
Right?
- [05:30]
Brian Green
Like, now I gotta go count them myself. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. There are seven of them. With an eighth coming.
- [05:41]
Chris Hoatley
With an eighth coming. Okay.
- [05:43]
Brian Green
With an eighth coming. Eighth is like the. It's like part one, part two. Okay, so the seventh is. There's. Whatever. Part one. Part two. You get it? Part one, I almost died. Part two, I almost died. I mean, that guy, like, that guy, like last time he was hanging onto the side of the plane while it took off. This time he's doing circles in the air with the airplane. Does all of his own fly or most of his own flying for that Top Gun movie, which is just insanity, the way that they fly those planes. I mean, you are that second Top Gun was good.
- [06:12]
Chris Hoatley
I didn't want.
- [06:13]
Brian Green
Never saw it.
- [06:14]
Chris Hoatley
Didn't want to watch it. And I liked it.
- [06:16]
Brian Green
Yeah, I don't want to like it. And that's why I'm not watching it. It. Because I know I'll like it once I watch it. It's like that Wall Burger.
- [06:21]
Chris Hoatley
Like it.
- [06:22]
Brian Green
It's like Wahlburgers. I'm not going in there because I don't want to like a Wahlburger. You know what I'm saying? I just don't. I'm sorry. I just don't want to go in and like a Wahlburger. There are just some things in life you don't do because you know, you will then become one of those, you know, I don't go to a Trump rally. I don't want to admit that, you know, I don't like most of what he says, but there was a few things in there that I can agree with. Right? It's true. It's true. I mean, you know, you just. You, you stay, you know your lane, you stay in it, and, you know, that's what most of us do.
- [06:55]
Chris Hoatley
I didn't want to like the cobra breath. But you did.
- [06:57]
Brian Green
I didn't want to be a cobra breath guy, but now I'm a Kundalini kind of guy.
- [07:05]
Chris Hoatley
Guru bj.
- [07:10]
Brian Green
That's it. That's the cobra breath. But you got to breathe into your third eye. Just remember that, right? There's a third hole in your head, and you got to breathe into it. Or at least imagine You. I just did that. Now one of my ears is clogged. Thanks, Kundalini. I can't hear. I went deaf. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
- [07:33]
Chris Hoatley
You're feeling enlightened.
- [07:34]
Brian Green
Meanwhile, Tom Cruise is 30,000ft in the air doing circles on the top of an airplane, spinning around like an idiot. Brian does the cobra breath once, goes deaf in his right ear.
- [07:45]
Chris Hoatley
That's about right.
- [07:47]
Brian Green
That's about right. How did my stunt make me deaf? And Tom's, like, the one step away from God. Scientology. I'm not going to talk about it because every time I do, the episode ends up. Not every.
- [08:01]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah, you.
- [08:02]
Brian Green
We. I. I think it bears repeating. Chrissy and I tried multiple attempts to do, like, an expose, and I say an expose, like the commercial break, 60 Minutes or something. I think we tried to talk about.
- [08:17]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah, yeah. We can't even get half the facts straight. So.
- [08:20]
Brian Green
No, we can't expose.
- [08:25]
Chris Hoatley
We didn't discuss it.
- [08:27]
Brian Green
Yeah. This is why we desperately need, like, someone to keep us honest in this studio, because we just cannot get the facts right. Christina soon should be joining us here in the studio, which will be fun, but, like, permanently on a permanent basis, like, sitting here with us. I'm excited, helping us do the show. But anyway, me too. But, you know, we tried to do this. We tried to have these conversations and point out some of the hypocrisy and weirder things about Scientology. And every time that we did, some kind of technical mishap happened. Like, the power went out. It didn't record. For some reason, the. The screen only recorded black. And I am not kidding you. This happened on four different occasions. And that weirded us so far out that we decided, let's just get. Yeah, drop it. And it wasn't like we did this, like, back to back to back. We tried to do this on, like, you know, weeks apart, and it just didn't. It just never came out. So that's why you've never heard an episode about Scientology here on the commercial break. But, you know, anyway.
- [09:24]
Chris Hoatley
Clear.
- [09:25]
Brian Green
Going clear. I have clear. Do you have clear? Clear. A lot of times, though, clear. The airport thing, a lot of times, like, Astrid and I went to go do the surgery, and did I tell you this about my surgery? I don't know if I told you this. I go. We get to the airport, and we. Here in Atlanta. Of course, Atlanta is the world's busiest airport, so we have a lot of technological advancements. Like, we seem to be one of the first to always get the new shit for security. We have those. They look like Airplane engines, but they're X ray machines, and they're like particle detectors. They're looking for certain types of radioactive particles, bomb particles, gunpowder, stuff like that. So it's not a normal X ray machine in. And they also use AI so they will light up certain objects that seem suspicious. And then, you know, you'll get a pair of eyes on it. It's really amazing how far the technology has come. And they do the same thing basically with your body. You know, you stand there and you put your hands in the air. You're not supposed to have anything on you. They're looking for certain objects and particles inside of your body. So anyway, here in Atlanta now, they have, like, five different versions of the security line. There's the regular security line that most people go through. They just go through it. There is of the Clear, which is they have Those in, like, 10 locations, 11 locations around the country, which is a private service that will do a background check on you and consistently background checking you sort of like TSA pre check, but it's a private service that the government uses.
- [10:56]
Chris Hoatley
And you use your eyes.
- [10:57]
Brian Green
And you use your eyes. You use your retinas in most cases. Some people use their fingerprints if they have something wrong with their eyes. But most people use their eyes. So you go up to a machine, it scans your retina, it detects who you are. You don't have to take out your identification. Most cases you do not have to take off your shoes, belt, or take out your computer. You just put it all in and you go through a special line. Then there's TSA pre check, which is a lot like clear, but it's run by the government. You can also then have TSA clear with clear, which it makes no difference whatsoever. It's all the same. Even though it sounds fancy, it's not. And now they have digital identification if you're going on a delta flight.
- [11:32]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah, I have that.
- [11:33]
Brian Green
I have that, too. And digital id, it'll show up on your ticket or your phone. When you have the app, it'll show up. And we've had it. I've had it ever since it came out. All of a sudden, they told me to go to digital ID line. I was like, oh, okay, whatever. And so they do a lot of the same thing. They scan your eyes, they take a picture of you. They scan your eyes. You have to go through some version of security, but you never take out your identification. Yeah. You don't take off your shoes very fast. Yeah. And so sometimes the wait at the regular security line could be 30 or 40 minutes. On a bad day, it's not usually like that. But on a bad day. But at least 15 most days that you're flying. But digital ID, five minutes tops, right? Unless you breeze through. Yeah, you breeze through. So, okay, so we go. And then we go to Tampa. We do the digital. Astrid has it, too. We go to digital id. I also have pre check. So, you know, we. How I got pre check, I have no idea, quite frankly, what I got through.
- [12:23]
Chris Hoatley
They approved you?
- [12:24]
Brian Green
Yeah. So we get down to Tampa and we rent the car. Astrid rents the car because I'm having surgery, so it's likely I won't be able to drive. Right. Why we rented a car, I don't know. Because we rent the car, we drive out of the airport, we literally go through one light, and there is the hotel. We could have walked there in less time than it took us to get the car. By the way, when we got down to Tampa, there were no. Astrid was like, we're getting off the plane. And Astrid's like. I'm like, what are you doing? She's like, oh, I'm renting a car. And I'm like, you're renting a car? You rent a car? She go, no, I figured we'll just rent a car when we land. Well, then she rents a car from some place called, like, you know, Chewy's Rent a Car or something like that. Like, you know, whatever, you know, Ringo's Rent a Car. And I'm like, where is that? And she's like, I don't know. It's just a rent a car. It's cheap. You know, I look at it, the rent a car place is literally four miles from the airport. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, babe, we're not going to go get in an Uber and drive here and go there to get Ringo's. Who the has ever heard of Ringos? Right? Pay laser.
- [13:25]
Chris Hoatley
Like a shuttle, right? For airport.
- [13:27]
Brian Green
No shuttle for Ringos. You got to get there on your own. And by the way, Astrid is the planner, the vacation planner, the travel planner, quite frankly, the planner of my life. She's the planner of everything. And so it surprised me she had waited till the last minute to do this. But I also understand we've been very busy with other travel and sicknesses and all this other stuff. So we get to the airport and I'm like, no, no, no, cancel that. Call them. Tell them we didn't make the flight. Whatever you have to say to get the $25 depos deposit back. And I walk. We go to the rent a car place, and I walk up to budget, and there's no one standing there. Budget avis. No one anywhere except for the workers, like, two of them. And I go to the kiosk to rent a car, and some guy comes from behind the counter. I have a ticket in my hand, like, you know, your number 42 waiting to be served. He takes the ticket out of my hand and rips it up. He was so rude. And he's like, no cars. And I go, what do you mean, no cars? And he goes, you don't have a reservation? I go, no. He goes, we have no cars. And I was like, oh, okay, I'll go some. You know, I'll go somewhere else. Thanks very much. He goes, no cars there or there. Or there either. No cars.
- [14:30]
Jake Paul
Yeah.
- [14:30]
Brian Green
And I go, why? When he hears we were in Tampa after the hurricane, people's cars get washed away, right?
- [14:37]
Chris Hoatley
Right.
- [14:38]
Brian Green
The insurance company tells them to go rent a car. They have to go to the airport because that's where most of the cars are, right? So we ended up going to, like, you know, I don't know. Yeah, Pepe's Auto or something like that. It was like this tiny little desk in the back of the rent a car place. Astrid rents the car. We get to the hotel, hotels in my name. Lady goes, major credit card and id like always, right? Major credit card id. I take out my magic credit card. I cannot find my identification. It's nowhere to be found. And I'm like, oh, I don't have an ID on me. And she's like, well, okay, just give me your phone number. Like, you know, give me your phone number. You have the credit card. Just give me your phone number. It's fine. And I'm like, okay, but what about flying back, right? And then I was like, okay.
- [15:20]
Chris Hoatley
No, the panic. Panicky.
- [15:22]
Brian Green
Oh, my God. I just, like, my stomach sunk. And I'm like, do I call my dad and have him FedEx my ID? Where is my ID? Where did I leave it? And my calcium filled brain can't even remember the last time that I used my id. I have a digital driver's license, by the way, in the state of Georgia. So sometimes I'll leave the house, my credit cards are on my phone, my ID is on my phone. Pictures of my passport are on my phone. I don't know. Do I really need a wallet sometimes? Not really. So we check into the hotel and we get there and I'm like, babe, I forgot My. She's like, holy shit. I go, oh, yeah, but don't worry about it. We have that digital id. But then I realize after some research, Tampa does. Atlanta is one of two places that has digital ID in the world, and Tampa doesn't have it. And they don't have clear. And I'm like, holy shit.
- [16:10]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah, I think it's us in Minneapolis.
- [16:12]
Brian Green
Is that right where that has digital ID? Yeah, yeah. And then clear is only, like, in 11 locations. So I was like, oh, boys, what am I gonna do? Have the surgery? It's. We're only there for, like, a day and a half, two days.
- [16:26]
Chris Hoatley
You can't find it anywhere.
- [16:27]
Brian Green
Oh, it's not with me. I know. It's okay. It's not in my wallet, so it's not with. I just know it's not with me. Right? But I don't know where I left it. I can't remember. But I'm like, oh, I have pictures of it, right? So I'm like, okay, I'm not gonna worry about it. I'm Googling. I hear some people say, you know, oh, they have TSA pre check there. Just go. They can run your fingerprint, whatever. So the morning that we're leaving, day after surgery, I call the airport and I say, hey, you know, I get the general information. By the way, calling.
- [16:55]
Chris Hoatley
You called the airport.
- [16:56]
Brian Green
I called the airport. By the way, calling an airport is like, good luck getting ahold of somebody who answers the phone at the airport. Press 1. For TSA, press 2. To hair. What time your flight leave? Press 3. For current weather conditions, press 4. Fuck you.
- [17:13]
Chris Hoatley
So you actually called the airport and not the. The airline?
- [17:17]
Brian Green
No, I called the airport.
- [17:19]
Chris Hoatley
I didn't even know you could call the airport.
- [17:20]
Brian Green
Yes, you. Of course there's a phone somewhere. I mean. Yeah. What do you think happens when Mr. Green. Mr. Green. Pick up a house phone? Remember that? I mean, it happened all the time when we were kids.
- [17:34]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah.
- [17:34]
Brian Green
Yeah. So. So I call the airport, and after pressing 75 buttons, I finally get someone on the phone, and she's like, hey, you know, whatever. Tampa Regional Airport, International Airport, I can help you. And I said, yeah, I have a really weird situation on my hands. I actually left my identification in Atlanta, where I flew from. But they don't require identification when you have, you know, this digital id. And she's like, you didn't. You didn't have to have an ID to get on the plane. And I go, no, a digital id. And she was like, oh, yeah, that's. That's Weird. She goes, well, this doesn't happen often because you really do need an ID to get on an airplane. But she's like, do you have, like, some form of identification, like an insurance card? I go, yeah, I have insurance card. And. And she goes, okay, I know that this does happen, and TSA has a process for doing. For getting you on the airplane, but I would be there at least an hour, right?
- [18:24]
Chris Hoatley
Go early.
- [18:25]
Brian Green
Yeah. So assert. And I get there an hour or an hour earlier than the hour early we're going to get there. So now we're like two hours early, right? Which I fucking hate, by the way. And I just know my luck, this is going to be done in one minute, and I'm going to be stuck there for two hours. At the Temple Regional Airport. Yes, at the TGI Friday is fucking TGI Friday, but it's Tampa, so there's no TGI Fridays. They have, like, disparate. Atlanta really does have a great airport. Because when you go to other, like, smaller airports like Tampa, you realize how great the Atlanta airport is because they have disparate terminals where you have to, like, you know, take a shuttle bus over to another terminal. And each terminal has a Starbucks and one other shitty restaurant that no one cares about. And then four of those, you know, newsstands, whatever the duty free. Like, I'm, you know, gonna buy a box of Camels for a hundred dollars anyway. Like, who's still buying cartons of cigarettes? I guess lots of people buy cartons of cigarettes at the duty free. Yeah. So we get to. So I go up to TSA pre check, which they have there, and I say, you know, hey, listen, the lady wants my id. And I say, hey, listen, I don't have my id. And this lady is stumped. It's like her first day on the job. She's like, you don't have an id? And I go, yeah. And she's like, okay, hold on one second. Security alert four. Security alert four, line three. Security alert four. And then, like, you know, like, some lady comes waddling over, you know, like this, and she looks at my. You know, she grabs my phone and then she looks at the lady and she goes, what's going on? And she. Oh, he doesn't have an identification. And she's like, you don't have an ID on you? And I go, no. And she goes, okay, sir, I'm going to need you to step over here. And I'm like, oh, shit, here we go. Right? And then she's like, Security alert 12. Security alert. Blue, blue Blue. So now I'm being surrounded. And then. Yes. And then she's like, do you have a major credit card? Any kind of information, you know, any. Anything in your. Anything with you that might. And I go, Yeah, I got 50 credit cards.
- [20:25]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah, here, take all of them. Cancel all of this.
- [20:28]
Brian Green
None of them valid, but they have my name on them. If you're going to swipe them, that might be a problem. But if you're just looking at the name on them, I got that all day long. So she's like, okay, I need you to go into the regular line. And my manager's going to. You know, my manager is going to come over. And so then Astrid's standing there, and the lady goes, do you want to go with him or do you want to go through pre check? And I'm like, babe, it's up to you, whatever you want to do. And she's like. She, like, thinks for a second. She pauses. And I honestly don't care either way because I know I'm the one who's going to have to go through the drama. And she goes, asher goes, I'll go with him.
- [21:05]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah.
- [21:05]
Brian Green
So now there's like a 15 minute line for the. Right. So I'm standing at the end of this line, and then all of a sudden, like, this cadre of people start walking up to this other lady who's then talking, and they're looking at me and pointing and whispering. And then this manager comes back and she goes, is this you, sir? Is this you? And I go, yes, this is me without the ticket. And she's like, please come this way. And she opens the little, you know, fence.
- [21:29]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah, the belt.
- [21:30]
Brian Green
The belt, yeah. That's never stopped anybody from doing anything ever. They have those at Disney World. Like, they're going to stop people from politely cutting in line. That always happens. So she shovels me in, and then she goes, okay, sir, let me see, you know, some other forms of identification. I give it to her, and then she goes, let me see your phone, please. And I give her my phone and she takes it and she scans it. And I guess a picture of me comes up on the computer for the paper.
- [21:58]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah, yeah.
- [21:58]
Brian Green
And then she goes, okay. And then she opens up the belt again to have me put my stuff on the conveyor belt and then go through the, you know, the little thing that goes.
- [22:08]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah, yeah, the body scan.
- [22:10]
Brian Green
The body scanner that has a picture, like, you know, a silhouette of your body that shows you how to stand. Like you don't know how to stand. Okay. All right? And she says to me, before I go through, she goes, you're going to have to go through additional screening. We're just going to have to do that. And I was like, okay, I understand. I got it. Not your fault, my fault. So she goes, there, okay, so now they put my stuff through security. They're going back and forth on the security belt. I can see my bag just going back and forth on the security belt. Like the lady's just dying for something to be wrong. Get down. I have my belt off, my shoes. The guy tells me to put my shoes up on the table. I do the whole nine yards. So he takes one of those cloths, you know, that machine, and he's rubbing everything I've got. And he goes, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to. And I only have a carry on with me, but he says, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to wipe every bit of this bag. Every hole. Okay, all right.
- [22:58]
Chris Hoatley
You mean on the outside and the inside? And the inside. Wow.
- [23:02]
Brian Green
In my vanity case. Every inch of it. He wipes my shoes, he wipes my belt. He does. He wipes my hand. Everything, right? Everything. So, okay, everything's good, right? He's going through it. He's got like five of these little cloths. He's going through it. One, one, one, one, one. And then all of the sudden, Chrissy. Oh, wait. And I'm like. It's like a loud noise. And then he's like, security check blue. Security check blue, line three. And I'm like, oh. And he looks at me and he goes, stay right there. And I'm like. I'm like, what am I gonna do? Run?
- [23:38]
Chris Hoatley
Take off?
- [23:39]
Brian Green
Yeah, I'm gonna do take off. There's like 30 armed guards right there. I'm gonna do like a stop, drop and roll and go under the table. Yeah. Jump plane. Literally jump on a plane. So my shoes are hitting on something, and I don't know what it is, but he does it again and it hits again. And then the manager comes over, and I think she's just, like, kind of done with me altogether. So now we're like 15, 16, 17 minutes into this whole thing, and she. I think she's just done with me. She takes the chews. She stops this whole security line. She takes the shoes, she puts them through the X ray machine, and you can watch him go back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. And then finally they come back out and she goes, okay, you can go. And I'm like, oh, okay, thanks so much. He's like, yeah, next time bring your ID. Okay, got it. 10, 4. So now I'm putting all my shit back in, you know, collecting all my.
- [24:31]
Chris Hoatley
Stuff, putting it in my dress.
- [24:32]
Brian Green
Yeah. Now I'm like, 22 minutes into this and Astrid still isn't through the security.
- [24:37]
Chris Hoatley
Like, oh, no, she was back.
- [24:39]
Brian Green
Astrid. Poor Astrid. Had to stand in line for, like, 22 minutes. Oh, no. Sweet justice. Poor Astrid.
- [24:53]
Chris Hoatley
Did you find your id?
- [24:54]
Brian Green
I did. It was in my car in the glove box with my passport, which I left parked at some shitty parking lot in Atlanta, because of course they're doing the world's biggest parking lot expansion. In Atlanta, you can't find a fucking parking spot. So we had to go to one of those. You know, like, they say it's the official parking, but it's like 10 miles away. Yes. And then the park and ride people, those buses. That is the worst experience. I mean, honestly, can they find somebody that can drive, first of all. And second of all, find someone that's not angry about it. I mean, all those drivers are so angry. And it's like, I guess I would be too, if I had the shuttle drive around the airport in circles. But, you know, what are you gonna do? Anyway, it just goes to show, kids. I don't know what it goes to show, but it just goes to show.
- [25:42]
Chris Hoatley
He might need an id.
- [25:43]
Brian Green
Don't jump on an airplane. There you go. Like Tom Cruise. We'll be back.
- [25:49]
Christina Hoatley
Since you clearly haven't had enough of me yet, I am back to yap in your ear and subsequently into your heart to tell you to follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok @TCB podcast. You've heard these liners enough to know that we are desperate for followers. So help a girl out while you're at it. Maybe shoot us a text at 212-4333, TCB. Or leave us a voicemail spilling your guts and asking for advice. You can also check out our website, tcbpodcast.com if you feel like perusing our catalog. Or if you're just bored. Now, let's listen to some sponsors, because they keep me.
- [26:29]
Unknown Sponsor
This episode is sponsored in part by ZBiotics pre alcohol. Let's face it, most of us are not 21 years old partying like we used to. We have to make the choice between a great night or a great morning after.
- [26:41]
Brian Green
At least that's what we thought, Chrissy.
- [26:42]
Unknown Sponsor
And I, until we tried pre alcohol. I don't drink a whole bunch anymore and I was on the fence about this one. But a few weeks ago Aster and I went out for some drinks for my birthday.
- [26:51]
Brian Green
The pre alcohol was sitting on the.
- [26:53]
Unknown Sponsor
Counter and I decided why not give it a try. And let me tell you, pre alcohol is the real deal. ZBiotics Pre alcohol Probiotic Drink is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. This was invented by PhD scientists to tackle rough mornings after drinking. Let me tell you how it works. When you drink, alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in your gut. It's this byproduct, not dehydration, that's to blame for your rough next morning. But pre alcohol produces an enzyme to break this byproduct down. You just need to remember to make ZBiotics your first drink of the night. Drink responsibly and then you're going to feel your your best tomorrow. I kept hearing about pre alcohol and I wondered what is it actually like? Now that I've tried it, I get why everyone is talking about it. And with their GMO technology, ZBiotics is continuing to invent probiotics that will help the everyday challenges of modern living. So go to ZBiotics.com commercial to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use that code commercial at checkout. ZBiotics is backed by a 100% money back guarantee, so if you're unsatisfied for any reason, they will refund your money, no questions asked. All you have to do is head to zbiotics.com commercial and use that code commercial at checkout for the 15 off. Thank you ZBiotics for being a sponsor of a wonderful morning after drinks and of the commercial break.
- [28:13]
Jenna Fischer
I'm Jenna Fisher.
- [28:14]
Chris Hoatley
And I'm Angela Kinsey.
- [28:16]
Jenna Fischer
We are best friends and together we have the podcast Office Ladies where we re watched every single episode of the Office with insane behind the scenes stories, hilarious guests and lots of laughs.
- [28:28]
Brian Green
Guess who's sitting next to me?
- [28:29]
Christina Hoatley
Steve.
- [28:33]
Brian Green
Carell in the studio.
- [28:36]
Jenna Fischer
Every Wednesday we'll be sharing even more exclusive stories from the Office and our friendship with brand new guests. And we'll be digging into our mailbag to answer your questions and comments. So join us for Brand new Office Lady 6.0 episodes every Wednesday. Plus on Mondays we are taking a second drink. You can revisit all the Office Ladies rewatch episodes every Monday with new bonus tidbits before every episode. Well, we can't wait to see you there. Follow and listen to Office Ladies on the free Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts.
- [29:13]
Jake Paul
Hey, it's Tiki Barber. Getting ready for game day looks a lot different for me now, but the one thing I look forward to most these days are my snacks. My favorite favorite is buffalo chicken dip and the best way to make it is with some best foods, real mayonnaise, Best foods Mayonnaise is the secret to bring out the rich and creamy taste in all of your game day dishes. So give it a try and may your game day be delicious with best foods, real mayonnaise. Shop at your local Walmart, Kroger or grocery store and add some extra deliciousness to your game day dishes this football season.
- [29:45]
Brian Green
All right, a couple little house cleaning things that I want to get to. First of all, people have asked, when are you going to get to the fucking point about the Spain trip? I will, I promise. I'll tell the wedding story this week, I promise. But to be honest with you, we've had a couple other things on our mind. Like the whole world has had a couple other things on their mind. So I just didn't feel very much like in the funny story mood last week. So I didn't finish the story. But I will this week. Don't worry about it. Not today. Not today. No, you don't get it today because you were pissy about it, you fuckers. Number two, next week we're going to do a show on red flags, dating and relationship red flags. Please send those in 212-4333. TCB, TCB, Guruj, BG, Yogi, BG. Do me a favor and send in your relationship red flags to that phone number, 212-433-3822. And then also we want to know if you would watch us record an episode of the commercial break live on Twitch one day a week. Not now, but in season number six, in 2025, if you're interested in that, let us know and text us because if we get just one response, it's likely we're going to do it. Because I figure for every one person that texts us about something, that there's like 10 others who really have no interest in communicating with us whatsoever or are too busy with their own lives.
- [31:03]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah.
- [31:03]
Brian Green
So I think we have 10 listeners, quite frankly. Did you get that math?
- [31:08]
Chris Hoatley
I did.
- [31:08]
Brian Green
Is that a joke? You were going to laugh. No. You weren't going to lie. Okay. Trump Tyson. This week I'm at Trump Tyson. I wish. I wish. God, I wish. Oh, I wish. I wish someone would knock him down a peg.
- [31:21]
Chris Hoatley
But no, it's the Jake Paul Is that his name?
- [31:25]
Brian Green
Jake, Paul and Mike Tyson.
- [31:27]
Chris Hoatley
I didn't even know this was still on.
- [31:29]
Brian Green
It is still on.
- [31:30]
Chris Hoatley
I saw Netflix. I saw that they have the behind the scenes or whatever. Like lead the leading up to.
- [31:36]
Brian Green
Oh, they do?
- [31:37]
Chris Hoatley
Yes.
- [31:37]
Brian Green
Oh, I gotta watch it.
- [31:38]
Chris Hoatley
I almost watched it.
- [31:39]
Brian Green
You gotta watch it.
- [31:39]
Chris Hoatley
I was like, well, wait, so it's still on?
- [31:41]
Brian Green
Yes, it's happening this Saturday? Yeah. Is that November 18th? I think is what that is. November 17th. 17th.
- [31:50]
Chris Hoatley
Yesterday was the 10th.
- [31:52]
Christina Hoatley
The 19th.
- [31:53]
Brian Green
16Th. 16th. Hold on. What day is Saturday? Hold on, I'm gonna open it. I'll open up Netflix right now and we'll see when it is. Okay. Anyway, it's this Saturday, I believe is when it is, because it makes most sense for it to be on a Saturday, right?
- [32:08]
Chris Hoatley
I thought maybe it said Friday, but I might be wrong.
- [32:11]
Brian Green
Hold on one second. Okay, now. Oh, yeah, now I do see the, like the behind the scene countdown. Paul versus Tyson.
- [32:20]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah.
- [32:21]
Brian Green
God bless America. If there is any justice in this world after the last couple of weeks that we've had, if there's any justice in this world, Let us all take a collective exhale when Paul gets the holy shit knocked out of him. I mean, please, please let Tyson be in some kind of fighting form. Because Paul is no, he's no joke. Like, he can fight, right? I mean, he's won most of his fights. I think he lost one, but he.
- [32:47]
Chris Hoatley
Was doing UFC stuff. Is that right?
- [32:49]
Brian Green
UFC and boxing.
- [32:50]
Chris Hoatley
Okay?
- [32:50]
Brian Green
He got paid. He's gotten paid hundreds of millions of dollars to box. And I mean, he's kind of made a mockery of the whole. I mean, listen, professional boxing in general is kind of a mockery. Like, it's just a shitty, scammy, weird sport. But when two boxers get in the ring, I am not a fighting guy. I watch some ufo, see, sometimes when it's on at my brother's house, like. But it's not my thing, right? And it's not my thing unless, like, there's some kind of crazy event happening, right? Unless it's just.
- [33:22]
Chris Hoatley
Unless it's Mike Tyson.
- [33:24]
Brian Green
Unless it's Mike Tyson. That's it. Mike Tyson is a super famous, storied boxer and what a life that guy has lived. Now, I don't agree, and I don't think all parts of Mike Tyson are fantastic. He is a convicted rapist, right? Which is terrible. He bit off Evander Holyfield's ear, which is terrible. He was a little bit of a monster and not a little bit a monster for a while, but it appears to me.
- [33:55]
Chris Hoatley
But then he was in the hangover.
- [33:57]
Brian Green
Hangover. And everything's okay. We're all better now. Everything's great. Cares that he raped somebody. We're fine now. It's all good. We've. We've made. We've made up. We kissed and made up. Now, I do have to say that watching him and I've seen documentaries about how he, like, he. Now he cares for pigeons or he's like.
- [34:15]
Chris Hoatley
That's right. Did he have, like a reality series for a minute?
- [34:18]
Brian Green
He did, I think on HBO at some point or something like that. So I'm not saying that Mike Tyson is all good. I don't. I don't think that, you know, there's some things you just can't take back. But I do think that having watched him over the years, he is evolving as a human being. And for that you can give anybody credit. Right. There's murderers in jail who evolved. You can't take back the fact that she murdered somebody. That's a really terrible thing that can never be unwound. And that doesn't make you wholly a good person that you change your life. But throwing the baby out with the bath water sometimes is not the right answer. And sometimes you can change. Now, having nothing to do with Mike Tyson's personal life.
- [34:59]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah.
- [34:59]
Brian Green
I just dislike the Paul brothers altogether. I really do. I just don't think they're. I just don't like him. Let's just put it that way. I just don't like. I don't like the vibe. I'm not interested in it. Like, I just don't care.
- [35:11]
Chris Hoatley
I didn't even realize the whole trajectory of that guy.
- [35:14]
Brian Green
Brothers.
- [35:15]
Chris Hoatley
Of his career. Yeah, yeah. So from like a young age, he was like the number one YouTuber at 17 or something.
- [35:23]
Brian Green
His brother. Yes. Okay.
- [35:25]
Chris Hoatley
Oh, this is his brother.
- [35:26]
Brian Green
This is his brother. Jake is the brother of Aaron Paul. I can never remember that guy's first name. Paul brothers. Hold on one second.
- [35:34]
Chris Hoatley
I don't know. I think it's on the behind the scenes, though, that they were giving his, like a Logan.
- [35:39]
Brian Green
I'm sorry, I keep it. Why did I say Logan Paul. Aaron Paul. Aaron Paul is the guy from Breaking Bad.
- [35:44]
Chris Hoatley
From Breaking Bad, yes.
- [35:46]
Brian Green
Sorry. Aaron. I like you. I do like you. Logan and Jake. So Logan Paul has been a famous YouTuber for a long time.
- [35:56]
Chris Hoatley
With Logan.
- [35:57]
Brian Green
Yeah. With his own set of bullshit. And listen, anybody who grows up in front of camera is going to have some missteps. It's just a reality. So I'm not faulting the guy for that, he's going to have some missteps, some misjudgments. When you become that famous for doing silly shit, sometimes the silliness goes too far. And he's certainly taken it too far a lot.
- [36:14]
Chris Hoatley
Was it kind of jackassy stuff?
- [36:17]
Brian Green
Not really. He was, like, appealing to, like, teens and kids when he was younger. And then he did this stunt and I, For. Honestly, for fear that I demonetized this particular episode. And I know that that's shitty to say, but I'm not. I'm going to say this the. As carefully as I can. There is a famous forest in Japan where people unalive themselves. You understand what I'm saying? Yes.
- [36:40]
Chris Hoatley
Oh, okay. Yeah.
- [36:41]
Brian Green
And he went there and there was a. They found a body. An actual body they found. Yes. And he made light of the situation in a way that just, like, says, I'm kind of not human. Like, why would you do that?
- [36:54]
Chris Hoatley
I didn't even know that.
- [36:55]
Brian Green
Yeah. And then putting it out on YouTube nonetheless. So now you're just, like, monetizing this whole situation. That's. That's really not very great. But then just like, the energy in general, like, they have been involved in. In altcoin. Questionable activities and nft. NFT in general is a questionable activity. But then they were involved.
- [37:15]
Chris Hoatley
Did you see the bitcoin? Bitcoin, it's soaring.
- [37:18]
Brian Green
Can I tell you something? Can I tell you something? Today I was like, I bought Altcoin the. The day after the election.
- [37:26]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah.
- [37:26]
Brian Green
And I have. Have done well.
- [37:28]
Chris Hoatley
Okay.
- [37:29]
Brian Green
I have done well. It's good for you. It's the only smart investment decisions I have ever made. Have been around that fucking altcoin. I don't know. Because so much of it relies on sentiment. Right. And so, like, the sentiment in the market. And when Trump became president, I knew for a fact.
- [37:45]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah.
- [37:46]
Brian Green
That the Crypto bros were going to go crazy. And they did. They have for. For certain. Anyway. So the Paul brothers in general just rub me the wrong way. And I think Jake has made a mockery of boxing, though I do think he is a fighter that has some command of what he's doing. He's not a traditional boxer. He's more of a street brawler. But he's a big guy and he can swing.
- [38:07]
Chris Hoatley
I don't think they would have done the fight, moved forward.
- [38:11]
Brian Green
No.
- [38:11]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah.
- [38:12]
Brian Green
No. But let there be sweet justice in this universe and let him get the holy shit knocked out of him. I don't want to see the guy, like, permanently hurt. I Just want to see Mike Tyson just hit him a couple times, knock him out. Please, Mike, please do this for the rest of us. Let us put a period on your life and say he turned his life around somewhat and then he beat the shit off Jake Paul. And we all feel good about it. I think that, you know, it's going to be interesting. Listen, there's a lot of people rooting for Jake too. There are a lot of people that like that guy. They like, they like. I don't know, there's a certain type of like disruptor energy, especially that male disruptor energy that like grab your dick and spit fire kind of thing that is really like appealing to a lot of people right now.
- [38:57]
Chris Hoatley
Definitely.
- [38:58]
Brian Green
And put that aside for a second. I just don't like the guy. Yes, he just rubs me the wrong way. I just don't like him. He seems cocky and weird and I. I guess maybe part of me is jealous that Jake Paul can all of a sudden become a boxer, get hepped up on whatever.
- [39:14]
Chris Hoatley
It's the 15th. It's Friday.
- [39:16]
Brian Green
It's Friday night. Why would they do it on a Friday night?
- [39:19]
Chris Hoatley
That's what it says here. It's really for November 15th.
- [39:23]
Brian Green
Why would they do it on a Friday night? That seems like a weird. It seems weird to do it on Friday night. Why wouldn't they do it on Saturday night? Mainly because I'll be at my dad's house and I'm not sure he has Netflix. Fuck. Now I'm going to have to watch it on my phone. I know. And I would just turn on my Netflix at my dad's house. But of course Netflix has all the, you know, controlling my television watching these days. And anytime someone else logs into the Netflix, then I get logged out of my Netflix. It's so, so crazy. That and Amazon Prime. I'm so pissed at both of them.
- [39:54]
Chris Hoatley
I know. I keep having to re log in all the time.
- [39:57]
Brian Green
Yeah, well, you. We've all shared in. We've all done it right? And then. Fuck you, motherfucker. Anyway, on the 15th, let us all kneel and bow and pray at the altar of Netflix and watch this and see if we can get some sweet job just like, you know, some, like a consolation.
- [40:15]
Chris Hoatley
Oh, I'm definitely watching.
- [40:16]
Brian Green
Oh, for sure.
- [40:17]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah.
- [40:18]
Brian Green
And yeah, I think part of me.
- [40:20]
Chris Hoatley
When was the last time he was even in a big fight? Like a big.
- [40:24]
Brian Green
Oh, God, Chrissy.
- [40:24]
Chris Hoatley
It's been years.
- [40:25]
Brian Green
Evander Holyfield.
- [40:26]
Chris Hoatley
I mean, I think so years.
- [40:30]
Brian Green
Tyson's.
- [40:31]
Chris Hoatley
He's 58.
- [40:32]
Brian Green
Yep. Jesus. The Guy's old, man. I mean, not old, but old for a boxer. June 2005, Roy Jones, Jr. Oh, my God, that's right.
- [40:40]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah. That's almost 20 years ago in an.
- [40:42]
Brian Green
Exhibition match that ended in a draw.
- [40:45]
Chris Hoatley
That's right.
- [40:45]
Brian Green
He was 38 years old then. He's 58 years old now. The guy is old, but I hear that he has, like, he's been in training. Yeah, I've been watching some of the videos and stuff like that, some social media stuff. He has been training and he does look good. I don't care how old the guy is. When he swings his fist, like when he's like, you know, sparring with his partner, he swings that fist. It's like a brick wall coming at.
- [41:07]
Chris Hoatley
It's gotta be.
- [41:08]
Brian Green
I can't even Listen, I do give Jake Paul credit for one thing. If there is one sports related, I would rather be in an NFL football game as a fucking offensive lineman than I then fight Mike Tyson. I really would. I really would rather get hit by the Georgia Bulldogs front line. It's not very good this year, but anyway, then I would get hit by Mike Tyson.
- [41:36]
Chris Hoatley
That's scary.
- [41:37]
Brian Green
Just once, like, just once, if you offered me. If you offered me $5 million to get punched by Mike Tyson, just once, just let Mike just punch you. Just once, just one square shot. I am not sure that I would take that $5 million. Really? If you offered me 10, I would. But if you offered me five, I'm not sure. Well, I'm just thinking about what the number is because that could cause permanent damage to your brain.
- [42:07]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah.
- [42:07]
Brian Green
Could you break your jaw? You fucking break your nose? You could mangle your face. I mean, that guy hits and that guy hits hard. How much money would it take for you to get. Well, not you. Yeah, I wouldn't want to see you hit Jeff. How much money would they have to pay you to get Jeff hit by Mike Tyson?
- [42:23]
Chris Hoatley
No, I agree there could be brain damage. So I don't want that.
- [42:26]
Brian Green
I think for Jeff it's 10 too.
- [42:27]
Chris Hoatley
I bet if.
- [42:28]
Brian Green
Yes, Jeff, it would be 10. Dear Jeff, Mike Tyson's gonna hit you, but I will be rich. For the rest of our lives. You will be unable to. You will be unable to make decisions.
- [42:43]
Chris Hoatley
God. I guess weighing about the same, too.
- [42:45]
Brian Green
What do they weigh?
- [42:45]
Chris Hoatley
225 is Paul and 224 is Tyson.
- [42:48]
Brian Green
And how tall are they?
- [42:50]
Chris Hoatley
Tyson's five. 10. Okay.
- [42:52]
Brian Green
That's my height.
- [42:53]
Chris Hoatley
Paul is six one.
- [42:54]
Brian Green
Yeah. That's a pretty big height advantage. Three inches.
- [42:58]
Chris Hoatley
Four inches.
- [42:59]
Brian Green
His pre fight record, 10 and 1. 10 and 1. Yeah.
- [43:03]
Chris Hoatley
He lost one fight. Seven KOs. Although Tyson has 44K.
- [43:07]
Brian Green
He has 44 KOs. Tyson does. And I mean he's 30 years older than. How old is Jake? He's like 27 to 58. He's 27. And they're both weighing 200 and 25. There's a huge age difference and a little bit of a height difference.
- [43:23]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah.
- [43:25]
Brian Green
My guess is that this is a lot closer than anybody thinks it's going to be. Yeah, that's my guess because I, I think what, what Tyson lacks in youthful energy and maybe stamina, he's going to make up for in pound for pound. Punching, punching force. I just don't know if, if, if you can. I just don't know if you can train that into somebody.
- [43:46]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah.
- [43:46]
Brian Green
Like it. But here's the thing. Is Mike going to get out there and be the Mike Tyson? He's not going to be the Mike Tyson the 30 years ago, but is he going to get that fire back where he just hits the out of people so quick, so fast?
- [43:58]
Chris Hoatley
I mean, I think he wants to show that.
- [44:00]
Brian Green
Yeah. Don't hold back, Mike. Okay, I'm talking to Mike. Mike, don't hold back. Go in there with a fire in your belly. I know you get paid a lot of money regardless of what happens, but you get paid more if you win. You need this money. It's probably going to do your pigeons a lot of good. You're going to be able to have a whole new pigeon world, like a Disney world for pigeons. And that's going to make everybody really happy. Maybe you'll even get that big mansion back that you really like. Wait, didn't he have a big mansion that they got? Oh, that was Evander Holyfield. Listen, you need to win this match. The whole of the United States is relying on you to make us all feel a little bit better. I don't care who you voted for. Everyone needs to feel a little bit better. And if Jake Paul loses, we're all going to feel better. So just hit him hard.
- [44:44]
Chris Hoatley
What do you think he's getting paid?
- [44:47]
Brian Green
I think they're each getting at least $100 million. No.
- [44:49]
Chris Hoatley
So they're saying here it's 40 million a piece for Paul while Tyson will earn 20 million. No, really, that's what this one thing is saying. They have not been officially released though the fight purses.
- [45:08]
Brian Green
How is that not a lot more money?
- [45:10]
Chris Hoatley
Hell no.
- [45:12]
Brian Green
Wasn't there a fight like five years ago where each of them got, like, Pacquiao Jr. And Mayweather. Didn't Pacquiao and Mayweather fight for, like, $100 million apiece?
- [45:22]
Chris Hoatley
There was that. That was a big one.
- [45:24]
Brian Green
Yeah, I watched that. I actually paid for that fight because that was one of those events where I was like, okay, I want to see what everyone's getting excited about. Yeah, Pacquiao versus Mayweather. Yeah, here it is. Okay, Pacquiao versus Mayweather. Let's see, what were the purses? I think, if I'm not mistaken, there were $100 million apiece. There were 4.4 million purchases on the pay per view alone, $410 million in revenue. Fight card, fight details.
- [45:59]
Chris Hoatley
I don't know why Mike Tyson's last.
- [46:04]
Brian Green
Okay, so the revenue between. Okay, here, here's how it goes. Ticket sales that were sold within a minute as per the contract. The first 160 million of revenue and any revenue above $180 million from the fight was split 60, 40 between the fighters, with Mayweather receiving 60% share revenue. Between 160 and 180 was to be split 51, 49. So each. So both fighters were expected to earn at least $100 million in revenue. I can't imagine that this fight is less exciting than Floyd Mayo. I'm going to get a new microphone, Christie.
- [46:43]
Chris Hoatley
I know you are.
- [46:44]
Brian Green
If we have to have five extra episodes, this microphone is going to go in. What is going on with this microphone? And here's the thing. I can't figure out which wireless it is. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm really pissed because, I don't know, I think it's this. Or maybe it's this. I'm not really sure. Just sometimes it decides to put out on me anyway. I can't imagine that Pacquiao and Mayweather, while it's a sanctioned fight, I think was a sanctioned fight is any less exciting.
- [47:11]
Chris Hoatley
This is a sanctioned.
- [47:12]
Brian Green
Any more exciting? It's a sanctioned fight. Yeah, I mean, it's sanctioned, but isn't it like an exhibition match? They're not going to like. It has nothing to do with, like. I don't think Jake is actually like a professional fighter.
- [47:24]
Chris Hoatley
I think he's an exhibition fighter as a professional match.
- [47:27]
Brian Green
Oh, it has?
- [47:28]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah.
- [47:29]
Brian Green
Well, then there you go. What do I know? All right. Okay. Well, the 15th this Friday. Super exciting going into it. Let's all root for these. I'm so glad you did some research, too. 20 million and 40 million. These guys are getting terribly underpaid. Terrible. And I'm saying that as a guy who makes like $10 an hour, I mean, I'm being serious. You think I'm joking? All right, we'll be back.
- [47:54]
Christina Hoatley
In a shocking turn of events, it's me again, Christina, your producer and resident romcom lover, here at the commercial break. And I just have one thing to say. I'm just a producer standing in front of an audience asking you to follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok CB podcast, text us or call us and leave us a voicemail. Because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with tcb, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. And while you're at it, go to our website, tcbpodcast.com but you don't have to because we like you just as you are. Now. If you immediately got those references, you're my kind of person. But it's time to take a break and listen to some sponsors and then we'll get back to the show.
- [48:38]
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- [49:34]
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- [50:08]
Brian Green
Okay, here's what I just read, which I think it kind of helps me understand what I was thinking. There are a hundred, like, different boxing bodies, and, like, professional fights can be sanctioned by a bunch of different bodies. Okay, but, like, is Jake Paul going to fight whoever for the, you know, world championship belt? No, he's not, because he has not been sanctioned. And I think that's part of, like, he. I don't want to say he's just an exhibitionist, but a lot of these fights, while they're professionally sanctioned, are not for, like, points or whatever that goes. Anyway. There you go, Brian. Brian figured it all out in 30 seconds.
- [50:46]
Chris Hoatley
I'm glad that you figured out for what you were thinking.
- [50:49]
Brian Green
Well, now I'm excited. Except, dad, get Netflix. Please stop being so cheap. And pay for Netflix. He's always asking me, oh, what was that show you were watching on Amazon Prime? And I was like, oh, yeah, Dad, I was watching whatever, you know, Worlds of the World or whatever. I was like, what's that Login again? I'm like, dad, no, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, kind of. But, you know, I understand when you're. You know, when you're of a certain age and you're. Listen, I say my dad's on a fixed income. I don't think he's hurting.
- [51:20]
Chris Hoatley
I don't think so either. Yeah, my dad ponied up for all the stuff.
- [51:24]
Brian Green
Your dad ponied up for all the stuff? Look at your dad. Yeah, look at your dad go, dad. Does your dad, like, splurge on vacation? Does he go on vacation and you, like, you know, ah, let's get. Let's go to the steakhouse and have a dinner.
- [51:35]
Chris Hoatley
No, no, he's not a splurger, per se.
- [51:38]
Brian Green
Okay.
- [51:39]
Chris Hoatley
But they have started doing some traveling, and I like the direction that they're going in.
- [51:43]
Brian Green
Yeah, I think my dad has never been a splurger. That's never been in. His dad and my dad are very much like, no, it's not in their DNA. Because their dads went to World War II, and at any moment, economic collapse was right around the corner. So they were always saving and nickel and diming it. But my dad and your parents, to some degree, you know, they really had to be extra careful because they had a lot of children. Right. Anything over one is a lot of children. Just letting you know, anything over one child is a lot of children. And they are expensive. You know how many conversations Astrid and I have about financial stress? Because directly. Because we're paying for something for the children that we just have. Feel like we have to sacrifice for. It's insane. So my dad has never been a splurger, but I'm like, at this age, I'm like, dad, you can go for it. Go for yourself.
- [52:30]
Chris Hoatley
That's what I encourage.
- [52:31]
Brian Green
Buy me a steak dinner every once in a while. Take me on vacation, do something nice for me.
- [52:36]
Chris Hoatley
I know.
- [52:36]
Brian Green
And then my dad will always say, every Thanksgiving, same speech, right? Who wants the, who wants the coin set from your great grandfather? In the will you talk amongst yourself and then figure out who wants the plates from the house or in the will you talk about it amongst yourselves. Everything will be swayed up evenly, but if you want something, let us know, blah, blah, blah. But our whole goal is to leave $1 in the bank account when we, you know, like, they, they have no intention of leaving anything for us. They just want to spend it all. To which some of my brothers are really upset. And I'm like, I, quite frankly, I'm the prodigal son. I never expected anything anyway. I'm like, Judas coming back home. So I'm like, it. I don't care. Yeah, I don't care. Well, my dad says stuff, you know, I'm sure a lot of kids have had this conversation like adult children have had this conversation with their parents. You know, what do you want in the will? Or I'm going to give this to you when I pass or if you want that, make sure you get it like that. And I always am like, I don't give a shit. Like, honestly, whatever you think. Yeah. What could you give me that I really want? Like a ten foot portrait of myself? I can know.
- [53:44]
Chris Hoatley
I know.
- [53:44]
Brian Green
You know what I'm saying?
- [53:45]
Chris Hoatley
I am ready to purge.
- [53:46]
Brian Green
Yeah. And so. But at this age, I'm like, hey, you know, dad, you should, you know, guys go out and have a little bit of fun one. Like their idea of a cool vacation is like driving to Iowa.
- [53:58]
Chris Hoatley
Well, you just said they did this cross country.
- [54:01]
Brian Green
They did this like, not cross country tip, but like this Midwest. Yeah. They went and saw like train stations and like, you know, the world's biggest ball of wax and like that.
- [54:10]
Tiki Barber
Which.
- [54:10]
Brian Green
Fine, that's cool.
- [54:11]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah, whatever you're into.
- [54:12]
Brian Green
Like, honestly, I, I would if I retire. Road trips sound cool to me. I have this dream. My, my dad. What is your favorite vacation ever as a child? Child?
- [54:22]
Chris Hoatley
Oh, gosh. Well, my parents had a lot of kids too, so we didn't go on a ton of extravagant vacations or any.
- [54:29]
Brian Green
Really no, we didn't either. Disney World. Disney World. A number of times, yeah.
- [54:34]
Chris Hoatley
Florida Gulf Shores, something like that.
- [54:36]
Brian Green
Yeah, Disney World a number of times. But when Disney, like a day at Disney was $26. Right. Which would have been the equivalent today of like $50. It wasn't like, you know, it wasn't $700 just to get in the door and then another $700 to buy all the. So the one vacation that I remember as a child so excited about, like, I can still remember it to this day. It's one of my favorite memories is my dad told us one summer, I think I was 15 years old, and my dad, for months, I would walk into that office right where my dad was sitting behind his desk, commanding the universe. You know, that I usually. Yeah, I usually only went in there when I was in trouble. But sometimes if I walked by, I would see my dad, like plotting a map. Like an actual map, like a book of map. But this is before the Internet or before the Internet was widely available. Of course, my dad had the Internet the moment that the Internet was available. But he's got this big map book and he's like, you know, drawing lines and, you know, plotting destinations and all this other stuff until he tells us one day at dinner. This summer we are going on a cross country trip. 20 days.
- [55:39]
Chris Hoatley
So funny, because I just watched Vacation, the original vacation over the weekend.
- [55:44]
Brian Green
That was it. That's what we did in the family Truckster, which was a conversion van. Do you remember? Conversion vans? Big old vans. And on the inside they were like luxury cruise liners that for some reason, I mean, not for some reason, we had four children, but the back bench would turn into a bed. It had four captain's chairs. And captain's chairs are like individual seats that like turn and twist and lay down and go up. Two in the front, two in the middle. And then you had a tape. You could put a table, like, you could stand a table in the middle of it.
- [56:17]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah.
- [56:17]
Brian Green
It had a television, which got no channels whatsoever. But how cool was that? Right? A television that didn't turn on. But cool.
- [56:24]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah.
- [56:25]
Brian Green
And all the accoutrements that you could. That. That every, you know, I. I don't know. Cup holders. Cool, right? And my dad said, we're going on a. A trip. It's going to be about a month. We're gonna go 10, 12 days out, 10, 12 days back. You know, we're gonna stop every night in a different town.
- [56:42]
Chris Hoatley
That was ambitious.
- [56:43]
Brian Green
I. Chrissy, it. Not only was it ambitious, it was so Much fun. I mean it really was. I look back on it now, it was so fun. I brought my CD Walkman. I had the CDs. I remember I was listening to like, what did I have? Soundgarden, Bad Motor Finger, Allison Chains, Pearl Jam, Guns and Roses. You know, I just was like listening to it. Some people in the car felt that my feet did not smell good. But that was because my Doc Martens had not. Not were used. Poor boys.
- [57:16]
Chris Hoatley
Oh God, I can only imagine.
- [57:19]
Brian Green
And we had so much fun. And we stopped at the most random of places. Tucumcari, New Mexico, outside Little Rock, Arkansas. Someplace in west Texas.
- [57:28]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah, I would be into it.
- [57:31]
Brian Green
Phoenix, Arizona, on like July 28, like the world's hottest place. And then we drove up through California and then came back around north to stop in Chicago, where we were from, to say hello to everybody and come back down to Atlanta. Chris. And we drove through the Dakotas. We went, you know, to the Grand Canyon. We did. It was the funnest thing ever. And so one of my dreams as a father is to do this same thing for my children now, you know, I hope the earth is still around so that I can do that.
- [58:06]
Chris Hoatley
There's something to show.
- [58:08]
Brian Green
Yeah, but when I retire, I don't want to drive, drive anywhere. I want to get on a plane and I want to go to some far flung exotic location and sit on a beach and drink cool teenies or whatever it is. Do you know what I'm saying?
- [58:24]
Chris Hoatley
Meet me at Tang.
- [58:25]
Brian Green
Meet me at Tangs, indeed. Chrissy. I do not want to get in a car and drive 33 hours to see the world's biggest ball of wax. It's just not interesting to me. That's not how I envision my retirement. A cruise ship, an airplane, first class, I don't know, a flying Tesla, something like that. Like I want to do something space resort. Space resort. Probably the only inhabitable place by the time I retire, which is in like three years, by the way. I have zero interest in getting in the car doing a cross country trip when I'm retired, right? And so I just, you know, sometimes I want to poke my, my dad and say, dad, you got go spend a little of that jingle jangle. Get yourself on a first class virgin flight to like, you know, I don't know, not any place terribly exciting. Go to London, go to Dublin, go to Tahiti. I. Hawaii.
- [59:17]
Chris Hoatley
Get his thing.
- [59:19]
Brian Green
It's not his thing. He just won't do it. I just don't think it's in his. I don't think it's in his, his data bank, you know what I'm saying? To think about spending that kind of money on himself. I just don't think it's in his data bank. So. To which some of my brothers say, thank God, maybe there will be some money left in the will. And to which I say, who care? I mean, honestly, who cares? Not my money anyway. That's how I feel about it.
- [59:40]
Chris Hoatley
Enjoy it.
- [59:41]
Brian Green
That's how I feel about. How do you feel about a will? I feel about a will. It's not my money anyway. Who cares?
- [59:46]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah. No, I say it's up to you.
- [59:49]
Brian Green
Whatever you think, Chrissy, that is an opinion we can all agree on. Thank you for that. Thank you for that pearl of wisdom.
- [60:03]
Chris Hoatley
Pearl.
- [60:05]
Brian Green
Pearl.
- [60:08]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah. Who am I to say what to do with the money that you make?
- [60:11]
Brian Green
I don't know. Some people feel strongly one way or the other. They feel that children should get nothing, they should do it on their own. And you know, and some people that I know wholly reject the idea of getting anything and like getting anything inherited.
- [60:24]
Chris Hoatley
Ah.
- [60:25]
Brian Green
Like that. That's just part of the problem in the world is that a lot of rich people, they just keep passing down their money.
- [60:29]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah, I'll take it more, I'll accept.
- [60:32]
Brian Green
Hey, listen, I accept. But I don't expect. You know what I'm saying? Yes, that's what it is. And if I was, like, I might feel differently if my father was a billionaire, if he was a billionaire, I might feel strongly that, no, I don't want any of your money. Give it away. Or can you give me a billion? Because I think that'll do it.
- [60:50]
Chris Hoatley
The Home Depot guy is doing that or he just died, you know, the one of the founders of Home Depot and he. And within 20 years, everything has to be spent.
- [60:59]
Brian Green
His children have to spend all that money in 20 years. Yeah, I could do that.
- [61:03]
Chris Hoatley
Family and the board.
- [61:05]
Brian Green
Yeah, but what do you. I mean, if you give it to your kids and they have to spend it in 20 years, that's not a hard thing to do.
- [61:09]
Chris Hoatley
Just buy the foundation.
- [61:11]
Brian Green
Okay. All right.
- [61:12]
Chris Hoatley
Yeah.
- [61:12]
Brian Green
Is that the guy who built the aquarium? Bernie Marcus? Yes, it is.
- [61:17]
Chris Hoatley
Uh huh.
- [61:18]
Brian Green
Okay. Well, he built that aquarium.
- [61:21]
Chris Hoatley
He's done a lot of good.
- [61:23]
Brian Green
To which I say, thanks.
- [61:25]
Chris Hoatley
I love that aquarium.
- [61:26]
Brian Green
Yeah, it's a great aquarium. No doubt it's in a great aquarium. And what else did he do for us?
- [61:31]
Chris Hoatley
Oh, tons of stuff. You'll have to look it up.
- [61:33]
Brian Green
That you look it up.
- [61:34]
Chris Hoatley
I do.
- [61:35]
Brian Green
I don't have that kind of time. I don't know that kind of time. I gotta catch up on 90 Day Fiance.
- [61:39]
Chris Hoatley
Me too.
- [61:40]
Brian Green
All right, all right, all right. Settle down. All right. Hey, let us know what your relationship red flags are. We're going to talk about it next week and I'd love to hear from you. 212 433-38-222-12-4333 TCB Questions, comments? Concerns? Content? Ideas? We're taking them all right there. Also, if you would like to watch us record an episode live on Twitch once a week in 2025 we're considering doing. It's really not that big of a deal. I just got to figure out 75 different.000 wires and get a Twitch account. If you figure out how to log into Twitch those wires aren't there. Terrible. Look at that at the commercial break on Instagram TCB podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break also tcbpodcast.com that's where you get your free sticker. You'll figure it out. I'm not worried about it. Okay Chrissy. I guess that's all I can do for today.
- [62:31]
Chris Hoatley
I think so.
- [62:32]
Brian Green
But I'll tell you that I love you. And I love you best. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say. We do say and we must say goodbye.
- [62:43]
Angela Kinsey
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Christina Hoatley
Think about businesses that are selling through the roof like Aloe Allbirds or Skims. Sure you think about a great product, a cool brand and brilliant marketing. But an often overlooked secret is actually the businesses behind the business making, selling and for shoppers buying simple for millions of businesses, that business is Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify. Home of the number one checkout on the planet. And the not so secret secret with shop pay that boosts conversions up to 50%. Meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more sales going. So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell whenever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed and everywhere in between. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout experience as business powerhouses like Aloe Allbirds and Skims. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com Odyssey podcast all lowercase go to shopify.com Odyssey podcast to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com Odyssey podcast.
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Tiki Barber
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