La CooCoo & Lenny Gaga!

Summary

The Commercial Break – Ep. “La CooCoo & Lenny Gaga!”

Date: July 3, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Notable Segment Guest: “Former Satanist” (frequent TCB target of ridicule)

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Episode Overview

This chaotic and irreverent installment of The Commercial Break delivers everything fans tune in for: twisting anecdotes, pop culture tangents, suspicious internet “experts,” and satirical bits about modern absurdities. Bryan and Krissy, recording back in their Atlanta “tree of trust” studio (Bryan’s repurposed daughter’s bedroom), recap a recent live interview at Odyssey Studios, dish on a viral Disney cruise rescue story, skewer the online panic over Labubu dolls, and roast a “former Satanist” peddling conspiracy theories about toys, celebrities, and the devil. The duo’s signature improv, sarcasm, and chemistry are on full display, with helpings of audience participation, self-deprecation, and mock advice scattered throughout.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Post-Odyssey Studios Debrief and Interview Guest Antics

Segment start: ~[02:00]

• Bryan and Krissy gush about their first in-person podcast interview (with influencer-comedian Courtney Michelle) at Atlanta’s Odyssey Studios.
• Bryan narrates an awkward first meeting with Courtney, who anxiously expected Astrid (the show’s producer)—not Bryan—to retrieve her:
  “I’ve never seen a woman so scared in my life to see me... I could be a woman, you never know.” ([04:15], Bryan)
• The segment comments on women’s safety precautions in big cities, sharing personal reflections and cautionary tales about Atlanta, Miami, and LA.

2. Disney Road Trip Meltdown: Super Speeder Saga

Segment start: ~[11:33]

• Bryan details his family’s “bang” of a road trip to Disney World that’s derailed by Atlanta’s infamous traffic and a “super speeder” ticket at 90 mph.
• He rants against left-lane slowpokes and recounts the anxiety of being pulled over—with kids inquiring, “Daddy, are you going to jail?”—and negotiating with a young, by-the-book state trooper.
• Bryan processes his history of police anxiety and handcuff “PTSD.” Krissy quips that her handcuff experience wasn’t with the police:
  “I mean, I’ve been in handcuffs, but not with a police officer, so…” ([18:22], Krissy)

3. Disney Dream Cruise “Man Overboard” Rescue

Segment start: ~[27:40]

• The hosts break down a headline-making Disney Dream cruise incident, where a 5-year-old girl fell overboard and was rescued by her quick-acting father, who treaded water with her for 20 minutes until the ship’s crew responded.
• Bryan, underscoring Disney’s overboard prevention measures, offers context on cruise ship safety and the rarity of such rescues.
• The duo dissect internet rumors that blamed the father for dangerous behavior, celebrating the subsequent debunking by authorities. They also muse on parental instincts in emergencies: “As a father… no question, if one of my children had fallen over, I would have been in a heartbeat.” ([38:32], Bryan)

4. Labubu “Demon Doll” Panic & Conspiracy Theories

Segment start: ~[42:49]

• The show lampoons the Labubu doll frenzy, referencing news of high-value knock-offs (“Lafufu,” “La CooCoo,” etc.) and escalating internet rumors about the toys bringing “evil spirits” into homes.
• The hosts decide to capitalize with their own “La CooCoo” knockoff line: “We should sell La CooCoos—like The Commercial Break’s La CooCoo. I’m gonna draw something like a little devil and I’m gonna make it a La CooCoo.” ([43:05], Bryan)

5. Roasting the “Former Satanist”: Viral Video Satire

Segment start: ~[45:28]; Main clip at [48:32]–[57:38]

• The centerpiece: Bryan and Krissy mock a viral YouTube interview with a self-proclaimed “former Satanist,” who claims that Labubu dolls are a demonic Trojan horse, allowing “the devil legal rights over your house.”

• The guest’s conspiratorial, fire-and-brimstone commentary veers into unrelated rants about Lady Gaga (“Lenny Gaga”), Kamala Harris, and celebrity culture.

• Key satirical exchanges:

  • On Labubu as devil’s tool:
    “You could take it to your house... you can bring these negative things into your house. Now the devil has legal rights over your house.” ([50:28], Former Satanist)
  • Bryan’s commentary:
    “Be careful you don’t sign that Labubu contract.” ([50:44], Bryan)
  • Celebrity tangent:
    “She paid Lady Gaga $10 million.”
    “Lenny Gaga. Who’s Lenny Gaga?... That’s right, I’m of the LaGagas. I’m Lenny. I’m Lenny Gaga.” ([56:34]–[56:46], Former Satanist/Bryan & Chrissy riff)
  • Connecting everything to politics/conspiracy:
    “Kamala Harris... Beyonce, she brings. She brings Eminem, them, right?” ([54:21], Former Satanist)

• The hosts point out the logical leaps and hypocrisy throughout, tie in classic American “Satanic Panic” patterns, and reassert the power of satire over fear-mongering.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On post-pandemic interview protocol:
  “You’ll never forget your first… Are they coming via limousine? Do we have to arrange the limousine? No, luckily we didn’t.” ([03:43], Bryan)

• On left-lane “asshole” drivers:
  “Put the guys who drive 67 miles an hour in the left-hand lane… in the gator… whatever. Gator traps.” ([15:22], Bryan)

• On police stops:
  “Daddy, are you going to jail? Daddy, why is the police officer coming? And I’m like, ‘Shut up. Yes, Daddy’s going to jail, goodbye kids. Remember me fondly.’” ([19:01], Bryan)

• On Disney cruise safety:
  “They have every inch, every inch of that ship… covered by a man overboard system and monitoring cameras 24 hours a day. It’s heat sensitive. So if anything over 68 degrees goes over, it immediately sounds an alarm and everybody’s on.” ([31:19], Bryan)

• The “La CooCoo” marketing brainstorm:
  “We should sell La CooCoos—like The Commercial Break’s La CooCoo. I’m gonna draw something like a little devil and I’m gonna make it a La CooCoo.” ([43:05], Bryan)

• On the “former Satanist’s” logic:
  “Be careful you don’t sign that Labubu contract…” ([50:44], Bryan) “And you think God is a judgmental, small, little human-like creature… I think God is the opposite. I think God is a huge thing that runs through all of us.” ([64:11], Bryan)

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Timestamps for Highlight Segments

• [02:00] Return to studio; Odyssey/first in-person guest story
• [11:33] Disney road trip, traffic, and super speeder ticket
• [19:41] Bryan’s cop/PTSD story
• [27:40] Disney Dream rescue incident and cruise safety deep-dive
• [38:32] Parental heroism reflection
• [42:49] Labubu/Lafufu/La CooCoo doll fad and knockoff craze
• [45:28] “Former Satanist” segment intro—Labubu Satanic Panic
• [48:32]–[57:38] Play-by-play of “devil dolls” viral video; celebrity name confusion (“Lenny Gaga”), and related rants
• [64:11] Philosophical musings on God, hypocrisy, and judgmentalism

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Tone & Style

As ever, the hosts combine off-the-cuff banter, biting sarcasm, and improvisational bits with frank explorations of daily anxiety, media absurdity, and society’s ongoing culture wars. The episode’s comedy leans heavily on riffing, tangents, false outrage, self-aware mockery, and recurring jabs at “internet experts” and manufactured panics.

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Summary Takeaway

“La CooCoo & Lenny Gaga!” is a quintessential Commercial Break episode—uninhibited, tangential, and riotously funny for those equipped to handle the show’s gleeful chaos. Through recaps of ordinary mishaps and the clowning of online overreactions, Bryan and Krissy knit relatable real-life moments to pop culture oddities, always landing on the side of humor, skepticism, and a “devil-may-care” (literally) spirit.

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For listeners who missed the show:
Expect wild storytelling, meta-podcast jokes, parenting panic, and a relentless lampooning of conspiracy-laden internet paranoia—all with plenty of memorable quips and quotable moments. And, if you’re in North Georgia, the prospect of seeing it all live.

Transcript

[Chrissy]

Hi, tcb.

[Brian Green]

I just want to say I love your guys's podcast so much.

[Chrissy]

It's making my drive to work very pleasant and, like, I'm not going to bash my head into the steering wheel anymore. Anyway, I do have a little story for you guys that I think you guys will find interesting. It was this guy that was about to go to college and basically he's an incel, which means involuntary celibacy.

[Brian Green]

So basically what he thinks is that it's not his fault that he's celibate.

[Chrissy]

But the woman's fault.

[Brian Green]

And it's this huge, weird ass, horrible.

[Chrissy]

Community of misogynistic men. It's crazy.

[Brian Green]

If you guys look it up, it's.

[Chrissy]

Really an insane read.

[Former Satanist Guest]

You wish.

[Brian Green]

Is my command.

[Former Satanist Guest]

Top shelf. Zaza disrupted my circadian rhythm. I have seen the Magna Carta. I've seen the eye of horror. I was flipping bricks for Manza Musa before y' all even became a type one civilization.

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the commercial break, she paid Kelly.

[Former Satanist Guest]

She paid Lady Gaga $10 million.

[Brian Green]

Lenny Gaga. Who's Lenny Gaga.

[Chrissy]

Lady Gaga's.

[Brian Green]

Hey, I'm a. I'm a little monster too, but that's right. Of the la Gagas. I'm Lenny. I'm Lenny Gaga. I thought it said Lady Gaga. No, Joe called me. He said you needed Lenny Gaga. I'm Lenny.

[Former Satanist Guest]

To show up and say something nice about her. You see, well, you see the lies behind the scenes.

[Brian Green]

You see the lies because I just told you. I'm the Rachel Maddow, former former Satanist turned podcast guest. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Chrissy]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. We're back in our own studio. My daughter's repurposed bedroom, our little comfortable nest. It is our. It's a little tree of trust here. It does feel good to be back in the tree of trust. We were, of course, at the odicase. You listened to the episode Yesterday we were at the Odyssey Studios. Yesterday we were at the Odyssey Studios and what a delightful experience, honestly, all around. Oh, is something going? Oh, I want to play something in a second. And it's just on repeat. I'm sorry. Chrissy's like, what is that noise?

[Chrissy]

I was like, something extra happening, you know.

[Brian Green]

How did you even hear that? When I came, usually I'm the one with, like the spidey ears, the spidey senses, but you got it. Thank you very much. My Instagram was going in the background. Yeah.

[Chrissy]

So that was so fun.

[Brian Green]

Was so fun. Such a great time. And I hope that we get to do more of that with Odyssey, everybody there was perfectly lovely. Tina and Astrid were there. We interviewed a young lady named Courtney Michelle, who is an online influencer, like, comedian influencer. She does comedy sketches on her Instagram. She does a little bit of standup comedy. She has a one woman comedy show. You'll hear more about that in a couple of weeks when we release the interview. But then she's an actress and all that other stuff. But she could not have been more wonderful. But we get up there and it's like, you know, there's a whole process to getting a guest on. And then you throw in the fact that you got to do in person, which we have never done.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, she was our first.

[Brian Green]

And you'll never forget your first. And you got to remember, you got to think about all the things, like, should we bring things for them to drink and to eat? How do they get into the building? Where do they park? Are they coming via limousine? Do we have to arrange the limousine? No, luckily we didn't. Courtney was very self sustaining in the sense that, no, I'm going to drive there. But then she gets there and we told her day of contact, which means person you contact in case you need something is Astrid. So just text Astrid and she'll come get you from downstairs, which is securitized. Like, you can't just get upstairs on your own. Odyssey is a very important place, and they have many steps in security. I just want you to know that you could never get in there and do harm to anybody. Except for the commercial break, so which they left the doors wide open.

[Chrissy]

I did.

[Brian Green]

So Courtney text. Astrid is like, hey, I'm here. I don't know really where I am, but I'm here. I'm at the place, and I go downstairs with a guy named Slim who was like our. Our guy, our liaison, our. Our tech guy, Odyssey. And I go downstairs and I can see Courtney, like, lean against, like an elevator shaft, like a wall that has an elevator on it. I can see her very distinct blonde hair. So I know it's her. She's the only one in the. In the entire room with blonde hair. So I go up to her and I go, courtney, I'm Brian. Chrissy. I've never seen a woman so scared in my life to see me usually that's. I get the opposite reaction from women. They're like, oh, look at him. He's special. You take the short fuzz here. It's like. Usually it's like a little. It's weird. But she looked honestly terrified. And she was like, I'm. I'm expecting a woman. And I was like, I. I could be a woman. You never know. I could be a woman.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. When you came back up and said that, I was like, probably she was just being cautious about coming into.

[Brian Green]

Exactly.

[Chrissy]

Elevator with two men.

[Brian Green]

Well, then I did that.

[Chrissy]

Of the one that she was told would be there.

[Brian Green]

As a man, these are not things I have to think about. But as a woman, I'm sure these are things you do have to think about. Like, you know, I'm not necessarily worried about two men coming and getting me in an elevator because no one wants me. Man nor woman wants to take me in that way. That's not gonna happen. I have two things going again, going for me, I guess. Number one is I'm a man. Number two is I'm not a particularly. You know, I don't smell good. I don't look good. I don't dress nice. So. But yeah, I think she was a little nervous about getting in the elevator. She needed proof. She wanted a secret code. Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Well, she's a beautiful girl, too. So, you know, when you.

[Former Satanist Guest]

She was.

[Chrissy]

Ye. Yeah. You kind of keep these things in the back of your mind. Plus, you lived in Miami at one point. I mean, that can be a little.

[Brian Green]

Anytime you live in Miami, you look at the world in a whole different way. Anytime you visit Miami. Oh, yeah. LA and Miami, the. The double whammy of. Could it be. Could we be in the bad part of town?

[Chrissy]

Yeah, you learn to be cautious.

[Brian Green]

LA and Miami, just like a lot of other big cities, probably Atlanta included. I've always described Atlanta as a tale of two streets. You can be on one street, and there are some of the. There will be the largest house you have ever seen in your entire life. Beautifully manicured, delicious in all ways. Multiple Mercedes Benz and Ferraris sitting out front. And you. And there are thousands of these houses in Atlanta. It's a very rich town in some places. And you wonder to yourself, where did all this money come from and who are these people? And then you can literally turn the corner 160ft away, and you can. Like, now you're in fear of your life. That's just the way that it is in Atlanta. It's like that In a lot of cities, it is.

[Chrissy]

It is. Memphis can be the same way.

[Brian Green]

Yes. But in Miami and Los Angeles, because they are gateway cities and so incredibly large with such huge populations, they have a literal smorgasbord of problems to deal with. You could be in front of a multi billion dollar condo building and get in trouble. That's just the way that it is in Miami. I think you just have to be a little extra cautious like a lot of big cities, just like atlant. But once you live in those two cities, I visit those two cities and I see the world in a different way for a lot of different reasons, being serious about that. So I can only imagine if you live in those two cities, you do get a little. You do get. You do have your ears wide open.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You strange man. Two.

[Chrissy]

Two strange men you've never met before.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

When two strange men appear and say, come with me.

[Brian Green]

That's right, Courtney. I'm Brian. Welcome to Odyssey. And then she goes, I go, I'm Brian. Thanks for coming to the Odyssey Studios. And she goes, is Odyssey. And I said, yes, Odyssey. And she goes, I'm supposed to be meeting Astrid. And I go, oh, I'm Brian. I'm the host of the show. And she goes, oh, I'm so sorry. I expected to meet a woman Astrid. And I said, well, Astrid is upstairs. I came down here.

[Chrissy]

Just come with me, little girl.

[Brian Green]

Just come with me. Everything will be fine.

[Chrissy]

Just get in the car.

[Brian Green]

Welcome to Honest.

[Chrissy]

Here's some candy Y I got a.

[Brian Green]

Chick fil a milkshake in the elevator. Come on, come on, let's go. So then we're riding up the elevator. I think she's like relaxing a little bit when she realizes that, yes, I may in fact be the host of the podcast you're going to do an interview with. And she goes, well, what's really weird is when you said, welcome to the Odyssey. Thanks for joining us at the Odyssey studios. My management company is named Odyssey. And I said, like Odyssey, the company? She goes, I don't know if they spell them the same way, but it's a little weird that I didn't know I was coming to the Odyssey studios. And then you said Odyssey. And I thought for a minute there was some kind of craziness going on. So anyway, Courtney Michelle interview coming up in a couple of weeks. We had a lovely time, and I hope that we get to do more of it. We'll see more info about that later on down the road just in case we decide to do more of It. And just in case at some point we're alive there, you could fit 15, 20, 30 people in that room comfortably.

[Chrissy]

There were chairs and a whole space for you for a little audience.

[Brian Green]

I'm not bringing everybody snacks and goodies, so you're gonna have to bring your own fucking food. And trust me, there will be a security guard there to pat you fuckers down. But I will say this is. We have some great interviews coming up, and if the guest is open to the idea, and if Odyssey is open to the idea, maybe we will allow a few people to come up there and listen to us record. So I'm gonna remind you, if you're in the Atlanta area, do not travel for this, because our schedule changes frequently. I will tell you that as any.

[Chrissy]

Listener knows, as any listener, longtime list, we could be doing a live show in Florida one day, and the next day it's canceled.

[Brian Green]

The day of it's canceled. In the morning, you'll get a text message saying, sorry you traveled all the way to Miami, but we will not be there. But this is the reason why I say Atlanta folks only are people within an hour driving is because our schedule really does change frequently, and guest schedules change frequently. People are human. They have problems in emergencies and travel plans and all that. So I don't want anybody going out of their way. But if you're in the general area and you'd like to come to one of these shows, not in the near future, but maybe in a month or two, 212-4333 TCB, text us, let us know, we'll put you on a list. We already have a nice little list going.

[Chrissy]

Great.

[Brian Green]

So, yeah, some, you know, some people are like, hi, Brian, I want to come to your Odyssey studio. Weirdos do need not apply and you must be 18 or older. I'll just put that there right now. I'm not going to be responsible for children. So. And not that you're a child. I know that when you're 17, you're not a child. And I know when you're 16, you're probably not. Hell, I have seven year olds that are not children anymore, but I just don't want any kind of liability issues. So be 18 or older, you know what I'm saying? Got back from Disney. I'm not going to tell all the stories right now because I got a lot to get to. Chrissy, we are chock full of stuff that I want to talk about this.

[Chrissy]

I can only imagine. I've been waiting on bated breath, baited.

[Brian Green]

Breath, a Lot of it's not Disney related. But I will start off by saying this. Our trip was wonderful, but it started off with a literal bang. We left here, the house. We tried to get out the door as early as possible. We said to ourselves, let's get out the door at 6am which means 9:30 when you have 70 children.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

But we did manage to get out of the door by 6:30. So sun's just up. 6:30 in the morning. Not a lot of traffic on the road. But in Atlanta, not a lot of traffic means still there's traffic. That's what it means.

[Chrissy]

Oh yeah.

[Brian Green]

There's never not traffic in Atlanta. You get two in the morning, you could get stuck in traffic. But we get south of the city and we're now in that three lane, 75 south stretch. Well, and then it goes down to two lanes. And so that's like, I don't know, let's call it 50 miles outside of 40. 50 miles south of the city, it's down to two lanes each way. So now you've got assholes. And I say assholes because there's no, there's no better way to describe somebody that's driving 55 in a 70 mile per hour zone in the left hand lane, taking zero cues from anybody behind them. Flashing lights, honking horns, truckers passing them on the right. When a trucker is passing you on the right, you are going too fucking slow in the left hand lane. It's just the truth. It's the law. You have to move over. So here I'm behind this guy and he's going 80 miles per hour and I'm just behind him, just cruising. We're in, we're, we're moving.

[Chrissy]

I like it when you find that. You know that that other car, you find a partner. You find a partner.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you find a part. You give them enough space so you know that you're not up their ass. Right. You follow them, you don't try, and you're not trying to move around.

[Chrissy]

Cut them off. Yeah, you know, if they need to get over you let them. Let them in the lane. Yeah, I like finding that part.

[Brian Green]

Your little travel buddies, you don't know who the fuck you are. You. They could be international drug smugglers and I don't care. They're driving nice and I like that. They got a good speed going. They're moving safely from lane to lane, moving around people. It's like a little game of Frogger. We're just doing it all the way up the road so we're doing this for about 20, 30 miles. And then we hit the asshole who's going 67 miles per hour running up against the other person in the right hand lane who's going 67 miles per hour. And the two of them are little travel buddies, too. They're just driving right next to each other, cars backed up. There's probably four or five cars in the right hand lane, four or five cars in the left hand lane. And people start getting a little itchy after like six miles. Pete, you know, the guy who's sitting right behind the dude who's going 67 gets a little itchy, and so there's a little break. He makes a move from. A little dangerous move, but he makes a. From. From. He goes around it and then over to the side and he's gone, right? So now it's me and my little travel buddy and we're right behind the 67, and we're kind of stuck. We're stuck for like four or five miles. So finally the car on the right hand lane relents enough that my little travel buddy can get around on the right. On the right side, get around this car that's going slow. Good. So he. So he. Lane changes. I wouldn't say it was the. I wouldn't say it was like the safest lane change I've ever seen, but he wasn't going to kill anybody. He was just darted over to the right and tries to make that move to go around the guy on the left. And the guy on the left going 67 miles per hour for almost 30 miles, speeds up. Speeds up.

[Chrissy]

No.

[Brian Green]

To almost 80 miles per hour. Now I'm behind the guy on the left hand, and I'm just. I'm going. And I'm like. I see what's going on, and I know now the guy who's going 67 mph was playing games the entire time. He knows how to go. He knows how to put his foot on the pedal, but he chose not to. To piss everybody else off or he was distracted driving.

[Chrissy]

I've seen that too. People are on their phones and, yeah, it's. It's. And all of a sudden they realize, oh, yes, I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do.

[Brian Green]

I'm not.

[Chrissy]

Speed up.

[Brian Green]

Whatever. Whatever the case may be, it clearly looks like he's trying to block my little. My little buddy from getting back over. It's fucking terrible. Let the restaurant hotel workers go. The people who are fucking, you know, cross an imaginary line in the sand. Don't put them in these little prisons. Down with gators. Put the guys who drive 67 miles per hour in the left hand lane. Put them in the gator, whatever. Gator traps.

[Chrissy]

Alligator Alcatraz.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Alligator Alcatraz. Oh, God, I can't even. Anyway, so I can see this all going on, and I'm like, wow. But I back off. I got kids in the car.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. Yeah. You're like, let's just see how this plays out.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, let's see how it plays out. I'm not going to be a part of some. And I. I'm giving a little distance now because I don't want to get it if. If these two yahoos. My travel buddy, not a yahoo, but now he's really trying to get around this guy, and I'm afraid he's going to do something dangerous and cause an accident. Right? Yeah.

[Chrissy]

You were given space to let him back in.

[Brian Green]

I was given space everywhere, yeah. Yeah. Now I'm just like, back down at like 75 miles per hour just watching it play out. And finally my little travel buddy gets around the guy, right? He gets around the guy. So now the guy backs down. No, backs down to block us all in again.

[Chrissy]

Again.

[Brian Green]

But I'm not having it. Before he can block me in, I jump to the right and I hit the paddle. And I mean, I hit it and I hit it hard. Before I know it, I'm going 90 miles per hour, but there's no one in front of me. I mean, it's just clear as day. Except my travel buddy is now, like 16 miles ahead of me, and I'm like, clear as day. Just go in the right hand lane and get away from this guy who's now speeding up to play games with me. So I'm like, nope, not gonna have it. Go, go, go, go, go. And I crest the hill, and there he is, the Georgia state patrol officer that's been waiting for Brian the entire morning. He just had his cup of coffee, he took his shit in the local red stop, and he said, I'm gonna get me a super speeder. And he got him a super speeder. He got Brian. He got me. As soon as I passed him, I started pulling over. As soon as I passed him, I started pulling over. Before his blue lights even came on. I was already on the shoulder of the road because it was almost like I admitted guilt before he even really told me I had a problem. I already knew it. I already knew that I got clocked and I knew I was going fast. And so he comes In a little.

[Chrissy]

Heart, this little stomach flutter.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Am I gonna go to jail? Do I have a. Do I have a warrant in some far flung county from some time in my life when I don't remember? I'm nervous. I always get nervous around cops. Cops make me nervous. I've not always had the best interactions with them. I mean, I've never, like, you know, ran from a cop or something, but I have had handcuffs on before a few times in my life. And when you have handcuffs on, you realize that a cop has the power to do that, and that doesn't make you feel good. Being in handcuffs is not a good feeling. That means you can't go anywhere and there's nothing you can do about it. And you. And it's out of your control, all of it. So that out of control feeling, that PTSD comes back to you. If you ever had an interaction with a police officer where you end up in handcuffs, you instantly get that ptsd.

[Chrissy]

I mean, I've been in handcuffs, but not with a police officer, so.

[Brian Green]

Okay, Jeff is not the same. Jeff is not the same. By the way, I have to ask you.

[Chrissy]

I got a sense of elation.

[Brian Green]

Remind Chrissy has the other reaction. She has ptsd. Pussy syndrome. She has pussy. TT Pussy. Tsd. Here, hold my panties. So officer comes up, young guy. Young guy. I mean, 23, 24 years old. It feels a little weird when you're the old guy in the situation and he's the authority figure. You know what I'm saying?

[Former Satanist Guest]

Right?

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

He comes up to the left hand, up to Astrid's window, and Astro's like, is he coming up to my window? I go, that's what he's going to do. So he doesn't kill himself. Of course. I pulled way over on the side of the road. The kids, they're all on their iPad. Daddy, why did you get pulled over? Daddy, are you going to jail? Daddy, why is the police officer coming? And I'm like, shut up. Yes, Daddy's going to jail. Goodbye, kids. Remember me fondly. Am I going to jail? I don't know. It's literally a roll of the dice right now. In 2025, I could be going to jail. I don't know. So he comes up and he's like, you know, Georgia State Patrol.

[Former Satanist Guest]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Where are you going so fast this morning?

[Chrissy]

They always say that, too.

[Brian Green]

And I go, listen, we're on our way to Disney World.

[Chrissy]

And I go, this is literally like movie.

[Brian Green]

I know, like Clark. Clark Griswold. That's right of Clark. I'm on the side of the road with this officer, and he. And in my head, I could tell him exactly what happened, just like I told you, and it could all make sense to him. And in my head, I can pretty much talk my way in and out of anything. Except for a police officer. I'm not even going to try. So I start down the. I start down the story. I'm like, listen, officer. There was like, a guy sitting in the left hand. And then Astra turns her head to look at me, and I was like, but it doesn't really matter. I was going too fast. I'm in the doghouse. I'm more scared of Astrid than I am of the police officer. I'm. I'm like, whispering, take me, take me, take me away in my head. Now I'm scared that Astrid's going to, like, take away my driving privileges for the rest of the vacation, and then I'm going to have to be stuck having Astro drive, who's a lovely driver, by the way. But she will be going 67 in the left hand lane, I can guarantee it. That's just the driver that she is. So I'm like, I was going too fast. I'm sorry. I really. I apologize. I shouldn't have been going that fast. And he's like, you know, we're not with these kids in the car. Not at all. And I'm like, yeah, I got it. All right. Yeah. Okay. So he comes back and, you know, that. That awful wait to see whether or not, you know, where's your insurance card? I have it on my phone. Don't worry, it's in the system. Give me your license. He goes, okay, I'm just gonna check. He goes, I gotta come back here, make a few checks, and then I'll be back with you in a few minutes. Mercifully, he only took, like, three minutes. Honestly, he wrote it up. He wrote it a couple of miles per hour under what he had clocked me at, because otherwise I would have gotten a super speeder ticket, which is, like, expensive. They're expensive. You. It's like mandatory. You have to go to classes and you could go to jail. They could. That's a restable offense in the state of Georgia. A super speeder ticket, which is. I think it's 25 miles per hour or over. So he wrote it for 23 miles per hour. Still going to be a very expensive ticket. But then he comes back and he says, Listen, Mr. Green, I gotta ask you to please lighten up. That right foot. He's like, you don't need to be going that fast down these highways. He's like, you know that it's just dangerous. And I said, yeah, no, I got you. And he goes, all right, well have a safe trip and take care of those kids. And I'm like, okay. And then as soon, you know, then he, as soon as he gives me the ticket and I take it, I like pull away, right? Yeah. And I see as, where are you going so fast? And I'm like, I'm not going anywhere. So I just want to get back on the road. Like, he's done with me. What am I supposed to do? Sit around and mourn my ticket? Like, what's the appropriate amount of time to sit behind a police. Sit in front of a police officer. Used to be when I was a kid and I would get pulled over when I was at like a 20 year old, I got pulled over. I would always let the police officer leave go first. Yeah. Just to make sure he was in front of me. And I was gonna get pulled over a second time. But in my adult life, I've learned once you're, once you've concluded business, you get on your way back on the road. That's what you do. Or at least that's how I feel you should, you know, why do I have to sit around and wait? I see an opening, let's get back on the highway. And so I did. And then, so now my intention of getting down there in like a little under seven and a half hours is completely blown. Now it's going to be nine hours at least. Because it's not that that officer is going to follow me all the way down the highway. It's that Astrid, of course, is now her claim that I'm always driving too fast. Her parents say this. Her, my brother in law says this. My own brothers say this. I've been in very few accidents in my life where I was driving. Very few. And they've all been fender benders. Luckily, however, I do drive a little fast sometimes. So now I am officially in the doghouse.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, she's on high alert.

[Brian Green]

I had to drive slow there. I had to drive slow back. I had to go under 10 miles per hour over the speed limit. It was just like a whole cluster. It didn't start off great, but I decided to shake it off real quick.

[Chrissy]

You have to.

[Brian Green]

That adrenaline was. I had, it was like early morning. I had a cup of coffee.

[Chrissy]

Coffee, right.

[Brian Green]

I no food in my stomach. That adrenaline kept me going for like, three hours. I was nervous. I was like, oh, my God, thank God I didn't go to jail. Thank God I don't have a warrant somewhere out there for my arrest. I mean, not that most people do, but you just Never know in 2025 what some kind of fuckery that's going on when all of a sudden you're going to end up in jail. So my Disney vacation did not start out the greatest, but. But it also got a little bit better that night. And there's lots of other stories to tell, but I don't want to. I don't want to throw it up all on you at one time. And trust me, the throwing up part will come later on in the story because there are other things to get to Chrissy, including a child who fell off a Disney cruise saved by her father. Did you see that? I want to talk a little bit about that. I've also got some information that I think you're going to want to know about. Mystery. Do you remember mystery?

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

The one of the OG PUAs that we reviewed. Guy that did that VH1 show, the pickup artist, wore that crazy top hat like Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

[Chrissy]

A question mark on his shirt or something.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I think he tattooed it on his chest or some. He's still around. He's like 62 years old. He's still around. He's still doing his thing. He's doing boot camps now. And I'd love to share with you some of the commercials that he's put together for his boot camps and his buddies. And then before the week is out, because you asked for it, and it's a hot topic right now with commercial breakers, we have more poly couch cushions coming your way. I have pulled three fantastic videos that he's just put out in the last week. Three fantastic videos. So we'll try and get to it today, but there's a lot to talk about. But stay tuned for the rest of the week because Paulie Couch Cushions is coming back. I may do this every week until the end of the year. Paulie keeps doing these videos. We just might dedicate a whole day every week to Paulie Couch Cushions. Let's take a short break. We're back from Odyssey. We're feeling good in our home ground. We are here at our home stadium. And. Yeah, we'll take a break. We'll be back.

[Chrissy]

Let's do it.

[Rachel]

Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked Me to shut Brian up, up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free stickers. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] the commercial break. Best to you and Astrid. Especially Astrid.

[Brian Green]

Sorry, I gotta get myself situated. I want to look good on camera. I got my pink on pink today. What do you think? Looking good. Yeah, I like it, too. I feel good in pink for some reason.

[Chrissy]

You look good in pink.

[Brian Green]

I really do. I feel like when I bring my gay out a little bit, it makes me feel.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, well, you've got the eyes and you've got the tan going on, too.

[Brian Green]

I do have the tan going on, man. I'll tell you what. Spend five minutes in the Central Florida sun in late June and you're going to be tan. There's no way around it. You can't get around it. And I like that. I like the sun on my face. But you know, the kids now today, and I say the kids, teenagers in the early 20s, you do this when you're dumb and you're young. But then I don't have much room to talk. They're all checking the UV index. Not because they want to put on more sunscreen to see what kind of tan they can get. So they say. Are you checking the uv? What's the uvi? The UV index. It's a whole thing that's going on on social media.

[Chrissy]

It's been really hot here. Or it's been really high here, too.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's. It's been miserably hot here, too. But mercifully it rains every 15 minutes, so that's true. Break. Oh, my God. My blue pool over overflowed yesterday.

[Chrissy]

No way.

[Brian Green]

It rained straight for an hour and a half.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, when I got home from the studios, it was.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, like water pouring from a faucet out of the sky. And it just. I just watched my. As my pool went, it just. It just overflowed. That's like the fifth time since I've had That pool that I've watched it overflow, it's quite amazing. That means that the drainage can't handle the amount of water that's going into it. I don't need to. I don't need to talk to you about aquatic equations, kids. You already know. When more water goes in that can be let out, it's going to overflow. Okay. All right. Let's talk about a few things that happened while we were gone. Number one, speaking of Disney, a child, you have to have your head in a hole not to have heard about this. And maybe you haven't, I don't know. But I think this has been widely reported. A few of our listeners actually sent this in to me because they knew I was at Disney or a Disney fan. Disney Dream, which is the ship that I have been on now twice, three times, that goes down to the Caribbean and to the private island and maybe to the Bahamas, depending on which one you take. That Dream just keeps on going back and forth to the Bahamas, to the private island. Disney's private islands. Three day, four day cruise. Three night four night cruise. Beautiful ship. It's one of their older ones, but it's gorgeous. Most people who like Disney Cruises say the Disney Dream is the best of them, really. They're impeccably clean, they are impeccably beautiful. They are well maintained. The crew is well trained. They are lovely. The food is delicious. The rooms are incredible. If you're into cruising, a Disney cruise is not a bad place to be stuck. Is it the best cruise ship in the world? No, I've been on better. But it certainly is great for the family, right? They're also very expensive, just like Disney is. But one of the things that Disney takes extra care of on these cruise ships, at least this cruise ship that I've been on, the Disney Dream, is that as a parent, one of the things that concerns you about the other cruise lines is the safety of the cruise line, especially if you have a balcony and around the balconies of the children. Because oftentimes the balconies have, you know, the banisters and then maybe a couple of railings down to the floor. But those railings, if your child is small, it's easy to get in between those railings.

[Chrissy]

Really, they're just open. I don't think there was some kind of like plexiglass.

[Brian Green]

There is. On the Disney Dream. On the Disney Dream, there is Plexiglas on every potential or possible place, place where a child could slip through. With the notable of exception of Some places on the deck four where they have this, the. The lifeboats, essentially.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

There are some places where I could see that if you really tried, you could slip through and get to a place where you could get off the ship. But I think any parent who's aware would know that and would probably be paying a lot of attention to a small child around, especially on that Deck 4. Deck 4 is where they have the bars, the adult area.

[Chrissy]

Is that gonna be like the top deck?

[Brian Green]

No, the top deck is like deck 15 or so.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

This is where they have the running track or the walking track around the ship. So it's essentially think of like one big walkway around the ship.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And it's just a railing that you can go that out to the ocean. So it's a beautiful place to go take a walk after dinner.

[Chrissy]

Right.

[Brian Green]

You just take a walk around the entire boat. And you can look over into the ocean. Unobstructed view of the ocean, railing up to your chest. Plexiglass. Even though they have those slats, those rungs, there's plexiglass down to the floor. I mean, you probably couldn't get your hand under there, let alone a child. The same way on the balconies of the rooms. The same way on the balconies in the front of the ship. When you go to, like, the pool area.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

In the pool area, the. I would say the banister is probably 5ft tall and has plexiglass to the floor.

[Chrissy]

That's why I'm picturing that. Like, there's a lot of safety nets here.

[Brian Green]

A lot of safety. Not to mention the most advanced man overboard system known to man is on those Disney ships. They have every inch, every inch of that ship. The outside of that ship is covered by a man overboard system and monitoring cameras 24 hours a day. It's heat sensitive. So if anything over 68 degrees goes over, it immediately sounds an alarm and everybody's on. Wow.

[Chrissy]

It's heat sensitive.

[Brian Green]

It's heat sensitive. So it's like a heat signature. It's. You know, they do this with a lot of things, like cameras. Like in the woods, the hunters put the cameras and they take pictures of anything that's like over 68 degrees.

[Chrissy]

Like the mountain monsters.

[Brian Green]

Like the mountain monsters who have never, ever put on the thermals. Kids, they have thermals. On the Disney dream, they have thermals. I'm saying all of this not to give you a dissertation on Disney safety on the cruises, but it feels very safe. As a parent, I never once thought that My child could get over the railing unless one thing, one thing and one thing only. Unless they took the patio furniture on the balcony and pushed it to the edge and then tried somehow to get over. In that case, I think they might be able to do that. What did we do? We took the balcony furniture and we put it on top of each other. So my children would have to rearrange the balcony furniture to get it on the floor to push it over. We also kept the door locked. Anytime that we were not in the room or we were not paying, we were not on the balcony with them. The door was locked. They have a lock up top and a lock on the bottom. The kids can't reach it. So the question, when you read the story, and here's the story, child goes in five years old, girl, father jumps in after her, finds her in the water, swims, swims for 20 minutes, treads water fully clothed while waiting for the Disney crew to get the lifeboat in the water and get over. Look at that.

[Chrissy]

I mean, wow.

[Brian Green]

Wow. And 20 minutes is remarkably fast. Remarkably fast. Think about that. You have to get a muster to get to the muster station. Get the muster crew, the people who are certified to do this, the safety crew, lower them down 40ft into the water were waves and all you have to stop the boat, turn it around so it's facing where they left. And then you have to find them in the water in the middle of the day when everything's glaring. And then you have to get them out of the water. And you have to do that in the amount of time where someone is. Could potentially tread water. And think about a child who has just fell off a boat who is absolutely freaking the fuck out. Oh, yeah, I am in that pool and two of my kids grab on to me, and I start getting a little panicky because I couldn't do that for more than three minutes.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But I will tell you what. Even before I got to the end of that story and I read that the father jumped in after her, I said, absolutely. No question. I would have been in that water so fast. And Astrid goes, I don't know that I would have. I would have felt like it was just too late. And I go, I wouldn't have cared if it was too late. I would have died trying. We're going down together if that's the case.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, you hear about that with parents who all of a sudden display feats of strength and, you know, just brave.

[Brian Green]

The adrenaline's going, and you just make an immediate decision that if there's Anything I can do, there's only one way to do it and that's to do the same thing to go in after them. A lot of people online, it's like, like a mixed bag. Some parents online were like, absolutely. And some parents online were like, I don't know that I could have ever even thought about doing that. Like, that would have been the thing that came to mind. I would have thought about throwing a life vest, getting down, you know, to the crew.

[Chrissy]

Jumping on a five year old, you.

[Brian Green]

Know, there's no chance she survives. There's. I'm quite, quite frankly, I'm surprised she survived the fall.

[Chrissy]

Right. 40ft, it hits hard concrete.

[Brian Green]

When you're on that fourth deck, you realize just how high that is. Maybe not a full 40ft, but it's three stories and a child with small bones and not a lot of strength and experience swimming. How he even found her when the boat is moving. The boat was moving, by the way. How the girl didn't get sucked under the boat, which happens a lot also because there is a draft and you know it's pulling it. All the things that could have gone wrong here, everything went right. Every single thing went right. He jumped in, he found her, he managed to keep himself afloat. You saw the picture of this guy. He was keeping a lot afloat. I'm telling you, this guy wasn't like Mr. Fantastically Fit. I'm not making fun of the guy. He's a fucking hero. He's a fucking hero. So this is an amazing story with such a happy ending. But then like all shitty things on the Internet, someone starts a rumor that they were on the boat and they saw. How I was wondering how. Everyone was wondering, how did this happen? How could a pata. How could it possibly happen? And people online, some lady said that she was on the boat and she heard or she saw that the father was putting the child on the railing to take a picture.

[Chrissy]

That's what I read too.

[Brian Green]

It is not true because the authorities came out this morning and they said, we have not finished our investigation. But in an effort to dispel rumors, we have found zero evidence. And we have spoken with eyewitnesses who did not see the father dangling the child or putting her on a railing. They were playing shuffleboard and the child managed to climb over the railing. How she did this, I don't know. But you know, five year olds are precocious.

[Chrissy]

That's true.

[Brian Green]

They find a foothold somewhere. They want to get over. They think it's fun. They want to get to the top they want to see over. And she fell over. The father saw it. He jumped in immediately. So this is just an amazing story.

[Chrissy]

It really is. When I read it, I was just blown away. And then it continued in the one article I read about saying that, I don't know, there's like a 15% chance most people survive the. The over the railing.

[Brian Green]

It happens very rarely. A lot of people fall off boats every year. A lot of people fall off cruise ships especially. Yeah, Some people jump off them, some people are drunk, and they fall off their balcony late at night. A lot of cruise ships don't have these kind of safety measures in place. The balconies are. The. The railings on the balconies are much lower. They're like waist high. It's easy to kind of get yourself over, you know, like, be drunk and fall over. You got to be fucking careful. You can't be a dum dum. When you're on a cruise ship, the chances of surviving a fall, depending on what deck you're on, are not great. But what really happens is you either get sucked under the boat, or the boat gets so far away from you, you are never found again. Because even in warm water, hypothermia can set in quickly. You have to think about this. People are like, oh, they're down in the Caribbean. It's warm water. That water's 88 degrees. Let's say 88 degrees. Your body's 98 degrees. Anything under 85 degrees for your body, your body temperature, you're going into hypothermia. If you're in water, it's cooling you immediately. It's like putting a beer in a. In a cooler full of ice and water. Your body's becoming the same temperature as the water very quickly. Within 20 or 30 minutes, you're gonna get hypothermia, even in warm water. So the truth is that all odds are against you surviving this.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And the only thing that allows this girl to survive is her fucking hero of a father making an absolute second by second call that. No question. I am in the water with her. I can't even, like, begin to praise this father enough for the quick thinking and action. He could have died. They both could have died. She could have been dead and he was swimming after her, her body, all the things. But as a father, when I think this one through, and these are the kind of stories that make you think it through, there's no question, if one of my children had fallen over, I would have been in In a heartbeat. In a heartbeat, I would have been in. And that's to say that I am also a hero. The hero you didn't know you needed. I'm a hero just for thinking about doing this. Okay, let's admit it. I've never fallen overboard. Neither have ever either, any of my children. But let's pretend they did. I would have already saved them in my head.

[Chrissy]

Oh, you would have done it faster.

[Brian Green]

Faster than that guy. And I would have swam for longer. I would have swam to the Disney private island.

[Chrissy]

You would have just. Yeah, because weren't they close to. I thought they were actually closer to going back to Florida.

[Brian Green]

They were. They were traveling from the island to Florida.

[Chrissy]

You would have just, you know, swam.

[Brian Green]

Swam to Florida, to Miami. That's right. And then before the ship even got there, I would have already checked my daughter into the local dock in the box. We got it all checked out. I would have been at the Ritz Carlton with warm hot chocolate for her watching Frozen.

[Chrissy]

I'm picturing you coming out of the water like Baywatch style.

[Brian Green]

Baywatch with my belly all shaking water.

[Chrissy]

Off of yourself as you. You know you're carrying my daughter.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Shaking my daughter. Pictures being taken.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I would have sold the story to people before Astrid got off the boat. And that's the truth, by the way. There is a picture going around of the ship, like, the boat, the safety boat coming back to the vessel, to the cruise ship. And the father is in the back of the boat looking completely wrecked. Like. Yeah, he's completely out of it. The child is not shown. She's got a towel over her head, but her poor little body is laying what looks like her mother's lap. And you can just tell the life is out of her. Not really, but you can just tell, like, there's no more energy left.

[Chrissy]

Right.

[Brian Green]

This child is going to be. This child's never gonna go on a cruise ship again. She's gonna have a fear of water for the rest of her life. I hope she doesn't, but I think that probably will happen. But the mother looks so incredibly pissed. And the father and the mother aren't looking at each other. The father's not even in the same side of the boat as the mother. So when the rumors, it's amazing.

[Chrissy]

So the staff then got the mother on the boat, too, to go do the rescue.

[Brian Green]

Here's the crazy thing, is that the muster station, the place where you would release the safety boat, is on the 4th. So I think what happened is the mother was the one Quickly ran to the. Quickly ran. And they just threw her on the safety boat so that she could be there. But they got everybody on on board.

[Chrissy]

She looks pissed.

[Brian Green]

She looks pissed. She looks pissed. And so when the rumor started that he was putting her up there for a picture, in my mind I put two and two together and I thought, mm, it's all making sense now. Mom. And Astrid was telling me, we were talking about this. Astrid's like, oh, they're getting a divorce. Because when something like this happens, you can never forgive the. You would never forgive the husband. Like, never forgive him for doing something so dumb. I was not as quick to judge. I thought, when I read this story, I thought, could be true, right? Could not be true. It makes sense because it's really hard to get overboard on a Disney ship. But then I saw the picture of the mother and I was like, I don't know, maybe that's it. But I am very happy to hear. For his sake. I'm very. And the sake of the marriage.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. I'm just so happy. Everybody. Everybody is okay.

[Brian Green]

Meanwhile, this is the most precocious five year old in the history of five year olds. And listen, I have one. I've got eight of them. And I know they can get into trouble. Luckily, all of mine are afraid of hearts, afraid of heights, and not particularly brave. So I don't worry too much about them wanting to climb over a railing. But they do get into stupid shit. They do all the time. You know what stupid shit, Chrissy Labubu. Labu is stupid. I can't tell you how sick of Labubu I am.

[Chrissy]

I was reading a story while you were gone, thinking of. And it made me think of you. I think I saved it in my phone, but it was the fake Labubus and how People don't care.

[Brian Green]

Lafufufu. It's like what they're calling them.

[Chrissy]

Lafufu. And how people don't care. They just want them.

[Brian Green]

They don't give a shit.

[Chrissy]

They might just have only nine.

[Brian Green]

Nine teeth instead of eight teeth or something like that. Yes, there's a way to tell. And you know, people don't care. They're paying hundreds of dollars for these. If we were smart, we'd jump on the bandwagon and start selling lafuf everybody. Yeah, we should sell La Cuckoos like commercial breaks. La Cuckoos. I'm gonna draw something like a little devil and I'm gonna make it a La Cuckoo. What do you think?

[Chrissy]

I like it. I like it.

[Brian Green]

The La Cuckoos are for Sale here at the commercial break. Listen, people are going crazy over these Labubus.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, here it is. Yeah, I pulled it up.

[Brian Green]

Let me see.

[Chrissy]

It was in the New York Times.

[Brian Green]

Labubus are fake. And they don't care if your Labubu doll has come with more than nine teeth or it came in a box with a shiny, bright finish. It may not be Le Booboo. It's probably Lafu Fufu or La Cuckoo.

[Chrissy]

I like La Cuku.

[Brian Green]

I like La Cuku. I like La Cucu too. Knockoffs are wildly popular. Knockoffs of the wildly popular Elf like doll, which are collectively called the Monsters and are sold exclusively by Chinese toy retailer popmart, have become almost as popular as the real thing, and they are much easier to find. Look at that. They're showing video of just like tens of thousands of Lafu Foos that the Chinese authorities are. Listen, this happens. They were selling, like, Habbage Patch dolls too, at one point. Like, you know. Yeah, they had, like, stitching through their eyeball and stuff. It was clearly not a Cabbage Patch doll. But I want to talk about the Booboo because people are taking it to a new level now. People are claiming online that they are waking up with. Did I. Was I talking about this yesterday? Yes. They're waking up with, like, teeth marks and they're closing their doors and they're bringing in bad spirits. I found a video where a Satanist, a former Satanist, a guy that we have talked about on this show before we reviewed a video, he's a reformed Satanist, is talking about Labubus and all the trouble they can bring to your family.

[Chrissy]

Monsters.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I think he's. I think this guy just pops up anytime there's an opportunity to be on another podcast, you know what I'm saying? But for some reason, he's the expert on Satanism and all things bad. We'll talk about why Labo Booze might in fact be a sign of the apocalypse. After these words, we'll be back. You make this rather snappy. 1 200.

[Former Satanist Guest]

Some very heavy thinking to do before 10 o'.

[Brian Green]

Clock.

[Rachel]

Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak any? Endlessly into the void like Brian. Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a raise. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans or tell us a little story. The juicier the better. By the way, we love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done on listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at the commercial break on Insta, TCB podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch. Oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video, YouTube.com thecommercial break and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously, Axl needs food. Today is pork chop day.

[Brian Green]

Oh, God, that's funny. Chrissy and I talking about 90 year olds now going to dance clubs. And I said, that's the time to do it. We've talked about this. Like those old ladies in that, like, you know, gypsy party that were doing huge gats of cocaine and having a great time and dancing it up. You got nothing to lose. What the fuck? Why not? All right, listen. The boo boos are taking on, as they were bound to, are taking on a life of their own, literally, in some people's homes. They're becoming like a sign of Satanism to some of these wackadoo Christians who think everything is the sign of these same people who got upset about wanting to put labels on music and all this other stuff. It's. There's nothing new under the sun. Same brand of hypocrisy. Same brand of Puritan. Puritan as. What do you. How would you say that.

[Chrissy]

Puritanism.

[Brian Green]

Puritanism that has been going around the United States of America since the Pilgrims came over, killed all the Indians. That's right. Their hypocrisy killed all the Indians, stole their land and took all their food and brought pestilence and disease. So here this guy is a former Satanist, he's talking to somebody about Labubus and all of the recent hubbub on the Haboo Boos that's going on on YouTube and Instagram. This is so crazy about how Labubus are literally devils that are coming to life when people aren't looking to cause wreak havoc. It's like gremlins. I was gonna say literally buying gremlins and bringing them to your house.

[Chrissy]

Or like this, the Stephen King, the Twilight Zone, the movie where it had that one where the little thing would come at night and steal the girl's breath.

[Brian Green]

Death. Oh, yeah, there's a creepy Little. What was that? The little, like, gnome or something? That's so weird. It was. It was so weird. So weird. Okay, so here, let's take a listen to this guy and see what he's got to say about the boo boos and the devil.

[Former Satanist Guest]

They're cute. They're so funny. They're so comfortable. But that's what the devil wants you to believe.

[Brian Green]

They're so comfortable. That's what the devil wants you to believe. They're comfortable. If they're comfortable, they're comfortable. The devil doesn't want you to believe that. That's how it feels.

[Former Satanist Guest]

You could take it to your house. You could take it to your house and you can bring these negative things into your house.

[Brian Green]

Okay. You can take it to your house. Can you really? Here. This is a Catholic inspiration channel. In case you're wondering where you can find this kind of content.

[Former Satanist Guest]

I want to ask you this kind of doll, if you're familiar with this. Brother John, the Labubu dollar. If you're familiar with this. Recently, this doll, it's called Labubu doll.

[Brian Green]

Has been linked to claims of demonic activity.

[Former Satanist Guest]

What are your thoughts on this activity?

[Brian Green]

I love it. Look at the Labubu. I know. They're starting a boy band.

[Chrissy]

It's got the guitar and a boombox.

[Brian Green]

There's a picture of. There's like a stock photograph of the Labubus. And one's got a guitar. It's a boom. It's a summer party with all the little devils. They're gonna bite your neck at night. They look so unassuming there till they steal your breath.

[Former Satanist Guest]

How can people discern if an object is spiritually dangerous? I mean, you got to know one thing. The devil would take something entertaining. Something. Something that looks. You could get comfortable with these things. Look like little devils.

[Brian Green]

He could be talking about the commercial break. It's entertaining. It's comforting. But we look like little devils.

[Former Satanist Guest]

You know, little devils. And people say, well, they look harmless. They look cute. You. They're cute. They're so funny. They're so.

[Chrissy]

The other guy's like, they are cute. They're cute.

[Brian Green]

He's like, they are. I've been using them to masturbate with.

[Chrissy]

They're comfortable.

[Brian Green]

Oh, they're really comfortable.

[Former Satanist Guest]

That's what the devil wants you to believe. So you could take it to your house. You could take it to your house.

[Brian Green]

You could take it to your house. You can take it to your car. You could take it anywhere. It's a la boo boo.

[Former Satanist Guest]

And you can bring these Negative things into your house. And when you bring negative things into your house, you change your spiritual environment in your house. House. Now, the devil has legal rights over your house.

[Brian Green]

Legal. The devil has legal rights over your house, does he really? Is that what that means?

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Be careful. Be careful you don't sign that Labubu contract.

[Former Satanist Guest]

He got legal right by bringing something. How many times people say, halloween, that's harmless. We put on a costume. Trick or treat, give me candy. I don't see no harm to that. Of course not.

[Brian Green]

Because the sexy French maid outfit, I dress like Paris Hilton. I don't see no harm to that.

[Former Satanist Guest]

But doesn't want you to see the real side of it. Because if you see the real side of what the devil's trying to do, you won't do it. It's like the person.

[Brian Green]

And what do I do with all 455 of my labo.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, he's thinking, yes.

[Brian Green]

And my Mickey Mouse costume for this year's Halloween activities.

[Former Satanist Guest]

The drug dealer, right? He tells you. Oh, don't worry about it, man.

[Brian Green]

You want to be. I don't like what you're saying here. I'd have to get rid of a lot of stuff. Wait, now you're saying I got to get rid of my cocaine? Really? Come on, man.

[Former Satanist Guest]

Here's some cocaine. Don't worry about. Pay me later. Don't worry about it. You, my friend.

[Brian Green]

I don't know. What kind of drug dealer is that? Pay me later. Pay me later.

[Chrissy]

We didn't have those.

[Brian Green]

No, I might be extended, like, half a gram of credit, but it wasn't going very far. And I better pay in the morning when I get my paycheck. I get my paycheck on Tuesday. Ah, now, man, don't call me with that, man. Come on, Brian, don't call me with that. That's what T would say. He said, don't call me with that, man. I'd be like, come on, man, front me a little bit. And he'd be like, don't call me with that. When are you gonna pay me? I don't know. Like, Tuesday. I get my paycheck. Come pay me tomorrow. Okay, I'll pay you tomorrow double. Okay. All right. Don't fuck with me now. I'm coming to your house at 10am don't fuck with me.

[Former Satanist Guest]

I love you. Take this on credit. Pay me. But when you don't pay him, he gonna send his friends to beat you up like a pinata, Right? Or if you do drugs, you think you're having a happy Moment. Now your heart stops.

[Brian Green]

Jeez. John here, it's full of optimism. He's the super happy former Satanist, right?

[Chrissy]

The other guy just keeps going.

[Former Satanist Guest]

It's what the devil knows how to put makeup on something to dress it up, to look. To look in it.

[Brian Green]

Sounds like our interview with Veer Das, by the way. I gotta say this. Guess who wants to come back on the show?

[Chrissy]

No way.

[Brian Green]

Veer Dos.

[Chrissy]

No way.

[Brian Green]

He does. And I. I what? What do I say? No, of course. I say yes, of course. I can't believe. I just don't think he remembers who he.

[Chrissy]

Soccer.

[Brian Green]

I think. I think his agent doesn't remember who he was talking to.

[Chrissy]

Right, right.

[Brian Green]

She's got to be. But I do know his agent, and she is quite a fan of ours, I think, because we say yes to everything she sends our way.

[Former Satanist Guest]

But behind it, behind the scenes, he knows how to entrap you. He knows how to bring the curse into your home to something that looks innocent, but the bottom line in it is a setup of the enemy.

[Chrissy]

I thought you said that some people were saying they were biting them on the neck.

[Brian Green]

They were. No, I'm. I'm just getting a Satanist point of view about this is what everybody is saying. Listen, some people are taking it to the extreme. People that are obviously looking for attention. They have mental health issues, are claiming that they're, like, biting them on the neck and they could show up with these bruises and these scars and like, how did I get. And it's like. Because you did it yourself. You painted it there.

[Former Satanist Guest]

Because this doll was collected by. By many famous artists. I mean, you see the famous artist today. I mean, look, in America, right? We had an election, right? So you got Kamala Harris. She brings all these artists up there.

[Brian Green]

Kamala Harris. Oh, here we go. Here we go. John.

[Former Satanist Guest]

Beyonce, she brings. She brings Eminem, Tele. Swiss Eminem, them, right? And you're like, oh, my God. Oh, look, they have friends. Look, they love her lies.

[Brian Green]

How do I know? I'm a former Satanist with a third grade education.

[Former Satanist Guest]

People. Devil worshipers. So she's a Jezebel. So Jezebel and devil worshipers meet up.

[Brian Green]

Why you got to bring Kamala into the Labubu conversation? Kamala ever do. I swear to God. This is the problem in America. Anything is a reason to just throw Joe Biden or Kamala Harris into it. Or even Trump. It's like, come on, guys, it's not everything. It's a fucking doll that people like to collect. And all of a sudden, Kamala Harris is responsible for it. This is.

[Chrissy]

And Beyonce.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I can literally hear the rocks rolling around in this guy's head to.

[Former Satanist Guest]

To present to you a big lie. Right? And then the truth just came out the other day. You know what came out the other day?

[Brian Green]

You know what came out the other day? I read it on Reddit, where all the former satanists get I read it on Reddit. All the former satanists get their information. You know what came out the other day? My nose hair. Did see it. I haven't shaved it in 10 years.

[Former Satanist Guest]

She paid Beyonce $10 million to speak for 10 minutes. Whoa.

[Brian Green]

Amazing information. Jesus Christ.

[Chrissy]

She's been outed now.

[Brian Green]

She's been out. Oh, that's, by the way, false. Not a true story. Anybody has any inkling to believe that? It's not true. It's been debunked.

[Former Satanist Guest]

I mean, to speak for Duran, she paid Eminem $1.8 million to show off a few minutes. She paid Kelly. She paid Lady Gaga $10 million.

[Brian Green]

Lanny Gaga. Who's Lenny Gaga?

[Chrissy]

It's Lady Gaga's brother.

[Brian Green]

Hey, I'm a. I'm a little monster, too.

[Chrissy]

Of the lefufu.

[Brian Green]

That's right. Of the lagagas. I'm Lenny. I'm Lenny Gaga. I thought it said Lady Gaga. No, Joe called me. He said you needed Lenny Gaga. I'm Lenny.

[Former Satanist Guest]

To show up and say something nice about her. You see? You see the lies behind the scenes.

[Brian Green]

You see the lies? Because I just told you, I'm the Rachel Maddow, a former Satanist turned podcast guest.

[Former Satanist Guest]

These people, they just came because they. They. They got paid. They got money. Lady Gaga got $10 million. Katy Perry got $10 million. Beyonce got $10 million.

[Chrissy]

Literally. What does this have to do with the labos?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, literally. This has nothing to do with the little boobos, number one. Number two, if we want to talk tit for tat, and I don't want to talk tit for tat, but Donald Trump's friends aren't around him for months. You think Jeff Bezos became Donald Trump's pal because. Yeah, come on, shithead. This happens. We just talked about this yesterday. Relationships at that level are transactional, first of all. Never happened. They didn't give anybody $10 million to play, first of all. Second of all, all relationships at that level are transactional. Of course they are.

[Chrissy]

Lee Greenwood, on the other hand. Yeah, I'd have gotten some money.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Lee Greenwood is just friends with Donnie Trump. Lee Greenwood doesn't give a shit. Lee Greenwood gets Paid every time Donald Trump walks out to that song.

[Former Satanist Guest]

Cha Ching, vote for her. She's. She's so. She's so cool. She's so nice. No, they did it for the money because the devil worshippers so they sponsor this woman and they liar.

[Brian Green]

Fact. Fact. My missing upper lip said it so.

[Chrissy]

Fact.

[Former Satanist Guest]

About her and they lie about her because they got paid for worry. You see, everything is exposed now.

[Brian Green]

Oh well, you ripped it wide open. You and all 117 views on this video uncovered the truth.

[Former Satanist Guest]

Same thing with those dollars. These, these, these artists want you to buy these things because they already curse. You don't see no real Christian walking around with those things and say bio.

[Brian Green]

You don't. You don't. I would bet you some of the. Some wives and daughters of some of the biggest mega pastors in the world are all walking around with laboors thousand dollars.

[Former Satanist Guest]

You don't see no Catholic people saying, oh, you can't. Let's go to the store. Let's buy these things because they so Catholic, they so Christian. No, I'm gonna buy something. I'm gonna buy me the cross.

[Brian Green]

Right?

[Former Satanist Guest]

Right.

[Chrissy]

His face.

[Brian Green]

This gives me street cred.

[Chrissy]

That was like cross draw.

[Brian Green]

Cross. Yeah. I don't like the labo boos. I like the leu. That's what I got. The original Jew. Jesus Christ.

[Former Satanist Guest]

Buy. No. A little devil animal stuff. Animal. I'm not going to buy that.

[Brian Green]

You know, so no one's asking you to buy that. I mean, you are the opposite of the target audience of the. I'm sorry. Yes. Yes. Do you understand what I'm saying? You're like, you're like the target audience of those people that make the duck hunting calls Ducks Unlimited. That's your target audience.

[Former Satanist Guest]

All these artists, they don't know Jesus. They just doing the devil's work. They just, they just promoting things that.

[Brian Green]

You'Re the target audience of. Every only fans creator ever that wants you to promote.

[Former Satanist Guest]

So he could be in your house, he could be in your family. Family. He can bring. He can bring disaster to your home through these things. Same thing with the television. You look at the TV, right and right back in the 60s, back in the 50s, 60s and 70s, the biggest thing was TV. You watch, you put the TV on these horror movies, pornography on TV, right? Getting your mind, getting your eyes. What the Bible says. Protect your. Your mind. Your eyes. Protect your mind. Protect your eye, protect your ear. The Bible says that.

[Brian Green]

That's why I watch my TV with the commercial breaks. Patented technology, blackout glasses. I always watch My TV with blackout glasses.

[Former Satanist Guest]

So now you listen to all this Phil coming, right? All this Phil coming at you.

[Brian Green]

What's coming at me? What Phil?

[Chrissy]

Pornography, horror movies, which you can also view online and which he's on.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you're on. That's right. There's a TV in the background. I guarantee Joey. Joey Dbag's here. I guarantee that he watches tv. Yeah, I can almost guess his favorite station, but I won't say it out loud.

[Former Satanist Guest]

And the devil's working you over. How many people watch horror movie? Horror movie. Horror movies. Horror movie. And then they go out and kill people.

[Chrissy]

Oh, my God.

[Former Satanist Guest]

Wow.

[Chrissy]

I mean, he's really.

[Brian Green]

He's on a roll.

[Chrissy]

He is.

[Brian Green]

He is on a roll. As are his nose hairs. I just have to say they're. They're on point.

[Former Satanist Guest]

Happens in America. Happens in America all the time now. Today, it's not the TV anymore because people are. They don't have time to watch tv. Now.

[Brian Green]

The devil, the iPhone that he's holding.

[Chrissy]

Up, what does it say on.

[Brian Green]

It says, bible is our passport to. Jesus is our pilot.

[Former Satanist Guest]

It.

[Brian Green]

Heaven is our destination. Notification from only fans. New content from Jenny 2122.

[Chrissy]

You know, that's what it says.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Former Satanist Guest]

That's what the devil is using. Look what I have on my iPhone. The Bible is my passport, Jesus is my pilot, and heaven is my destiny. Amen.

[Chrissy]

Is that his, like, cross for his phone? Yeah, I mean, he's got a phone.

[Brian Green]

Why you. Where are your blackout glasses? Where are they?

[Former Satanist Guest]

That's what I have on my phone. Today. The iPhone is replace the tv. People spend hours.

[Chrissy]

That's why I've got one.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's why I have one. Replaced my TV. And then I got additional TVs and additional iPhones, and now I have cameras and microphones. I'm full of the devil and I love it. I love lapping up the fill. I love the filth. That said.

[Former Satanist Guest]

But. But they don't pray. But they want God to bless them. They want God to protect them. But you, you're on Facebook, you're on Instagram all day long, and the devil's eating your time, and you're getting old and you got nothing to show for it.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, the other guy is encouraging.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's. He's just making weird noises into the microphone.

[Former Satanist Guest]

Yeah, they think God is like a genie or an ATM machine or a bendable machine. They think God is a spare tire in back of your car. You get a flat, you bring out the tire, fix the flat, and Then keep going and forget about it. That's what they think God is. God is spare tire.

[Brian Green]

And, and you think God is a judgmental, small, little human like creature upstairs making all kind of judgments here on earth about whether or not you did this or you checked that box or you pined to him appropriately, or you did or did not sin in your eyes, which you call sin or break laws of God or whatever it is. You think God is a small, trite little thing like a human being, the smallest of human beings who is mad and angry and vengeful and will give kids cancer for no reason and send you to hell because you didn't just, you know, you didn't show up at church and kneel to the Covenant every 15 minutes. You think God is in a tiny little box. I think God is the opposite. I think God is a huge thing that runs through all of us. And unfortunately that includes the good and it includes the bad. Your version of God is small, mine is big. And you, you shithead. Honestly, these kind of people. People drive me crazy. They really do. They are the first to point out how non judgmental Jesus Christ was. And we should all follow the laws of Jesus Christ and God. But they are also the first to point out, to judge and to point out how small that version of heaven is. It only includes a few of you. Well, congratulations. I hope you go to your version of heaven and I'll go to mine. Thanks very much. All right. Cross drop, cost drop. But I do think he makes a point. Labubu is satanistic and you should get it out of your house. You should buy the La Cucus by Chrissy and Brian.

[Chrissy]

That's probably what he's telling his kids so he doesn't have to spend the money on them.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, this guy don't have kids. You think he ever, ever got a woman to agree to accept his particulate matter into her? I doubt it.

[Chrissy]

You never know.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, you do never know. It's usually these kind that have four or five kids. Yeah, well, we'll never know because we, we did another video on this guy. He. He was with a pastor doing a show back in the early 2000s and he had claimed that, you know, the devil, the devil took him to some place and sodomized him and oh my God, he's messed up. He's got some problems. But you know what? What? I hope you are. I hope you are living a life as happy as can be. Just stop yelling at everybody else about what they're doing. I just leave us alone. We're okay over here. We're doing all right. If I'm going to hell, I can't go to hell. I'm already here. What are you talking about? What are I talking about?

[Chrissy]

Right?

[Brian Green]

It's got to be better than this. I saw a very interesting guy do it. He's ask, he's training I AI to tell him him about the matrix that is consciousness. And he's making a very compelling argument about how AI is helping him understand. This guy is completely rational. Seems like he's got his head on his shoulders. He's like an astrophysicist or something. And he's got a pretty compelling argument about why we are in a simulation like a video game and how consciousness is really the through line of life. Energy is the through line of life. Yeah. So there you go. I'll share. Please. I'll share his Instagram. It's very compelling. Very. Kind of scary, but very compelling.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Anyway. 212-4333, TCB. 212-4333. TCB. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, we're taking them all. Also, if you'd like to be at a future live recording of the commercial break, drop us a line, let us know. If you're in the, you know, kind of north Georgia area within an hour, hour and a half of the Atlanta area, let us know at the commercial break on Instagram. Thank you, thank you, thank you for following. Keep on doing it. Let's get to 10,000 by the end of the year. That would be great. YouTube.com the commercial break and tcb podcast.com for your free sticker. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

[Chrissy]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you that I love you.

[Chrissy]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

As to you, best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say goodbye.

[Former Satanist Guest]

Five, 30.