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Brian Green
To say I love your guys's podcast so much.
Natural Cycles Representative
It's making my drive to work very.
Brian Green
Pleasant and like I'm not going to.
Chrissy
Bash my head into the steering wheel anymore. Anyway, I do have a little story.
Natural Cycles Representative
For you guys that I think you.
Chrissy
Guys will find interesting. It was this guy that was about to go to college and basically he's an incel, which means involuntary celibacy.
Brian Green
So basically what he thinks is that it's not his fault that he's celibate, but the woman's fault and it's this huge weird as horrible community of misogynistic men. It's crazy. If you guys look it up, it's.
Natural Cycles Representative
Really an insane read.
Brian Green
Your wish is my command. Top shelf.
Rachel Maddow
Zaza disrupted my circadian rhythm. I have seen the Magna Carta. I've seen the Eye of Horror. I was flipping bricks for Manza Musa before y' all even became a type 1 civilization. On this episode of the Commercial Break she paid Kelly. She paid Lady Gaga $10 million Lenny Gaga.
Brian Green
Who's Lenny Gaga?
Chrissy
It's Lady Gaga's brother.
Brian Green
Hey, I'm a. I'm a little monster too, but that's right. Of the Lagagas. I'm Lenny. I'm Lenny Gaga. I thought it said Lady Gaga. No, Joe called me. He said you needed Lenny Gaga. I'm.
Rachel Maddow
To show up and say something nice about her. You see, you see the lies behind the scenes.
Brian Green
You see the lies because I just told you, I'm the Rachel Maddow, a former, former Satanist turned podcast guest. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoad to you Chris.
Chrissy
Best to you Brian.
Brian Green
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. We're back in our own studio, my daughter's repurposed bedroom, our little comfortable nest. It is our. It's a little tree of trust here. It does feel good to be back in the tree of trust. We were of at the. Of course at the od. Kiss. You listen to the episode. Yesterday we were at the Odyssey Studios. Yesterday we were at the Odyssey Studios and what a delightful experience. Honestly, all around. Oh, is something going? Oh, I want to play something in a second. And it's just on repeat. I'm sorry. Chrissy's like, what is that noise?
Chrissy
I was like, there's something extra happening.
Brian Green
You know, how did you even hear that when I came? Usually I'm the one with like the spidey ears, the spidey senses, but you got it. Thank you very much. My Instagram was going in the background. Yeah.
Chrissy
So that was so fun.
Brian Green
It was so fun. Such a great time. And I hope that we get to do more of that with Odyssey. Everybody there was perfectly lovely. Tina and Astrid were there. We interviewed a young lady named Courtney Michelle who is an online influencer, like comedian influencer. She does comedy sketches on her Instagram. She does a little bit of standup comedy. She has a one woman comedy show. You'll hear more about that in a couple weeks when we release the interview. But then she's an actress and all that other stuff, but she could not have been more wonderful. But we get up there and it's like, you know, there's a whole process to getting a guest on and then you throw in the fact that you got to do in person, which we have never done.
Chrissy
She was our first.
Brian Green
And you'll never forget your first. And you got to remember, you got to think about all the things, like, should we bring things for them to drink and to eat? How do they get into the building? Where do they park? Are they coming via limousine? Do we have to arrange the limousine? No, luckily we didn't. Courtney was very self sustaining in the sense that, no, I'm going to drive there. But then she gets there, and we told her day of contact, which means person you contact in case you need something is Astrid. So just text Astrid and she'll come get you from downstairs, which is securitized. Like, you can't just get upstairs on your own. Odyssey is a very important place, and they have many steps in security. I just want you to know that you could never get in there and do harm to anybody. Except for the commercial break, so. Which they left the doors wide open.
Chrissy
They did.
Brian Green
So Courtney text. Astrid is like, hey, I'm here. I don't know really where I am, but I'm here. I'm at the place. And I go downstairs with a guy named Slim who was like, our. Our guy, our liaison, our tech guy, Odyssey. And I go downstairs and I can see Courtney, like, leaning up against, like an elevator shaft, like a wall that has an elevator on it. I can see her very distinct blonde hair. So I know it's her. She's the only one in the. In the entire room with blonde hair. So I go up to her and I go, Courtney, I'm Brian. Chrissy. I've never seen a woman so scared in my life to see me. Usually that's. I get the opposite reaction from women. They're like, aw, look at him. He's special. Did you take the short fuss here? It's like, usually it's like a little. It's weird. But she looked honestly terrified. And she was like, I'm expecting a woman. And I was like, I could be a woman. You never know. I could be a woman.
Chrissy
Yeah. When you came back up and said that, I was like, probably she was just being cautious about coming into an elevator with two men.
Brian Green
Well, then I did.
Chrissy
And that she was told would be there.
Brian Green
As a man, these are not things I have to think about. But as a woman, I'm sure these are things you do have to think about. Like, you know, I'm not necessarily worried about two men coming and getting me in an elevator because no one wants me, man nor woman wants to take me in that way. That's not gonna happen. I have two things going again, going for me. I guess number One is I'm a man. Number two is I'm not a particularly. You know, I don't smell good. I don't look good. I don't dress nice. So. But yeah, I think she was a little nervous about getting in the elevator. She needed proof. She wanted a secret code.
Chrissy
Yeah. Well, she's a beautiful girl, too. So, you know, when you.
Brian Green
She was.
Chrissy
Yeah. You kind of keep these things in the back of your mind. Plus, she lived in Miami at one point. I mean, that can be a little.
Brian Green
Anytime you live in Miami, you look at the world in a whole different way. Anytime you visit Miami. Oh, yeah, L.A. and Miami. The double whammy of. Could it be. Could we be in the bad part of town?
Chrissy
Yeah. Yeah. You learn to be cautious.
Brian Green
LA and Miami, just like a lot of other big cities, probably Atlanta included. I've always described Atlanta as a tale of two streets. You can be on one street and there are some of the. There will be the largest house you have ever seen in your entire life. Beautifully manicured, delicious in all ways. Multiple Mercedes Benz and Ferraris sitting out front. And you. And there are thousands of these houses in Atlanta. It's a very rich town in some places. And you wonder to yourself, where did all this money come from and who are these people? And then you can literally turn the corner 160ft away and you can, like, now you're in fear of your life. That's just the way that it is in Atlanta. It's like that in a lot of cities.
Chrissy
It is. It is. Memphis can be the same way.
Brian Green
Yes. But in Miami and Los Angeles, because they are gateway cities and so incredibly large with such huge populations, they have a literal smorgasbord of problems to deal with. You could be in front of a multibillion dollar condo building and get in trouble. That's just the way that it is in Miami. I think you just have to be a little extra cautious. Like a lot of big cities of. Just like Atlanta. But once you live in those two cities, I visit those two cities and I see the world in a different way for a lot of different reasons, being serious about that. So I can only imagine if you live in those two cities, you do get a little. You do get. You do have your ears wide open.
Chrissy
Yeah.
Brian Green
You know, Strange man.
Chrissy
Two. Two strange men you've never met before.
Brian Green
Yes.
Chrissy
When two strange men appear and say, come with me.
Brian Green
That's right, Courtney. I'm Brian. Welcome to Odyssey. And then she goes, I go, I'm Brian. Thanks for coming to The Odyssey Studios. And she goes, is Odyssey? And I said, yes, Odyssey. And she goes, I'm supposed to be meeting Astrid. And I go, oh, I'm Brian. I'm the host of the show. And she goes, oh, I'm so sorry. I expected to meet a woman Astrid. And I said, well, Astrid is upstairs. I came down here.
Chrissy
Just come with me, little girl.
Brian Green
Just come with me. Everything will be fine.
Chrissy
Just get in the car here.
Brian Green
Welcome to Honest.
Chrissy
Here's some candy.
Brian Green
Yes. I've got a chick fil a milkshake in the elevator. Come on, come on, let's go. So then we're riding up the elevator. I think she's, like, relaxing a little bit when she realizes that, yes, I may in fact be the host of the podcast you're going to do an interview with. And she goes, well, what's really weird is when you said, welcome to the Odyssey. Thanks for joining us at the Odyssey Studios. My management company is named Odyssey. And I said, like Odyssey, the company? She goes, I don't know if they spell them the same way, but it's a little weird that I didn't know I was coming to the Odyssey Studios. And then you said, Odyssey. And I thought for a minute there was some kind of craziness going on. So anyway, Courtney Michelle interview coming up in a couple of weeks. We had a lovely time, and I hope that we get to do more of it. We'll see more info about that later on down the road, just in case we decide to do more of it. And just in case at some point we're alive there. You could fit 15, 20, 30 people in that room.
Chrissy
There were chairs and a whole space for you for a little audience.
Brian Green
I'm not bringing everybody snacks and goodies, so you're gonna have to bring your own food. And trust me, there will be a security guard there to pat you fuckers down. But I will say this is. We have some great interviews coming up, and if the guest is open to the idea, and if Odyssey is open to the idea, maybe we will allow a few people to come up there and listen to us record. So I'm going to remind you, if you're in the Atlanta area, do not travel for this, because our schedule changes frequently. I will tell you that as any.
Chrissy
Listener knows, as any listener, long time listener know, we could be doing a live show in Florida one day, and.
Brian Green
The next day it's canceled. The day of it's canceled. In the morning you'll get a text message saying, sorry you traveled all the way to Miami, but we will not be there. But this is the reason why I say Atlanta folks only are people within an hour driving is because our schedule really does change frequently and guest schedules change frequently. People are human. They have problems and emergencies and travel plans and all that. So I don't want anybody going out of their way. But if you're in the general area and you'd like to come to one of these shows, not in the near future, but maybe in a month or two, 212-4333 TCB, text us, let us know, we'll put you on a list. We already have a nice little list going.
Chrissy
Great.
Brian Green
So yeah, some, you know, some people are like, hi Brian, I want to come to your Odyssey studio. Weirdos do need not apply and you must be 18 or older. I'll just put that there right now. I'm not going to be responsible for children. So. And not that you're a child. I know that when you're 17 you're not a child and I know when you're 16 you're probably not. Hell, I have seven year olds that are not children anymore. But I just don't want any kind of liability issues. So be 18 or older, you know what I'm saying? Got back from Disney. I'm not going to tell all the stories right now because I got a lot to get to. Chrissy, we are Chuck, full of stuff that I want to talk about this.
Chrissy
I can only imagine. I've been waiting on baited breath.
Brian Green
Baited breath. A lot of it's not Disney related. But I will start off by saying this. Our trip was wonderful, but it started off with a literal bang. We left here the house. We tried to get out the door as early as possible. We said to ourselves, let's get out the door at 6am which means 9:30 when you have 70 children.
Chrissy
Yes.
Brian Green
But we did manage to get out of the door by 6:30. So sun's just up 6:30 in the morning. Not a lot of traffic on the road. But in Atlanta not a lot of traffic means still there's traffic. That's what it means.
Chrissy
Oh yeah.
Brian Green
There's never not traffic in Atlanta. You get two in the morning. You could get stuck in traffic. But we get south of the city and we're now in that three lane, 75 south stretch that well and then it goes down to two lanes. And so that's like, I don't know, let's call it 50 miles outside of 40. 50 miles south of the city, it's down to two lanes each way. So now you've got. And, and I say, because there's no, there's no better way to describe somebody that's driving 55 in a 70 mile per hour zone in the left hand lane, taking zero cues from anybody behind them. Flashing lights, honking horns, truckers passing them on the right. When a trucker is passing you on the right, you are going too fucking slow in the left hand lane. It's just the truth. It's the law. You have to move over. So here I'm behind this guy and he's going 80 miles per hour, and I'm just behind him, just cruising. We're, and we're, we're moving.
Chrissy
I like it when you find that, you know that, that other car, you.
Brian Green
Find a partner, right?
Chrissy
You find a partner. Yeah.
Brian Green
You find a part. You give them enough space so you know that you're not up their ass, Right. You follow them. You don't try, and you're not trying to move around, Cut them off. Yeah.
Chrissy
You know, if they need to get over, you let them over. Let them in the lane. Yeah, I like finding that part.
Brian Green
Your little travel buddies, you don't know who the fuck you are. You, they could be international drug smugglers and I don't care. They're driving nice and I like that. They got a good speed going. They're moving safely from lane to lane, Moving around people. It's like a little game of Frogger. We're just doing it all the way up the road. So we're doing this for about 20, 30 miles. And then we hit the. Who's going 67 miles per hour running up against the other person in the right hand lane who's going 67 miles per hour. And the two of them are little travel buddies too. They're just driving right next to each other, cars backed up. There's probably four or five cars in the right hand lane, four or five cars in the left hand lane. And people start getting a little itchy after like six miles. Pete, you know, the guy who's sitting right behind the dude who's going 67 gets a little itchy and so there's a little break. He makes a move from, a little dangerous move, but he makes a. From, from. He goes around it and then over to the side and he's gone. Right. So now it's me and my little travel buddy and we're right behind the 67. And we're kind of stuck. We're stuck for like four or five miles. So finally the car on the right hand lane relents enough that my little travel buddy can get around on the right. On the right side, get around this car that's going slow. Good. So he. So he. Lane changes. I wouldn't say it was the. I wouldn't say it was like the safest lane change I've ever seen, but he wasn't going to kill anybody. He was just darted over to the right and tries to make that move to go around the guy on the left. And the guy on the left going 67 miles per hour for almost 30 miles, speeds up, speeds up to almost 80 miles per hour. Now I'm behind the guy on the left hand, and I'm just. I'm going. And I'm like, I see what's going on, and I know now the guy who's going 67 mph was playing games the entire entire time. He knows how to go. He knows how to put his foot on the pedal, but he chose not to. To piss everybody else off or he was distracted driving.
Chrissy
I've seen that too. People are on their phones and, yeah, it's, it's. And all of a sudden they realize, oh, yes, I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do.
Brian Green
I'm not doing speed up, whatever. Whatever the case may be. It clearly looks like he's trying to block my little. My little buddy from getting back over. It's terrible. Let the restaurant hotel workers go. The people who are fucking, you know, cross an imaginary line in the sand. Don't put them in these little prisons. Down with gators. But the guys who drive 67 miles per hour in the left hand lane, put them in the gator, whatever. Gator traps.
Chrissy
Alligator Alcatraz.
Brian Green
Yeah, alligator Alcatraz. Oh, God. I can't even. Anyway, so I can see this all going on, and I'm like, wow. But I back off. I got kids in the car.
Chrissy
Yeah. Yeah. You're like, let's just see how this plays out.
Brian Green
Yeah, let's see how it plays out. I'm not going to be a part of some. And I'm giving a little distance now because I don't want to get it if these two yahoos. My travel buddy, not a yahoo, but now he's really trying to get around this guy, and I'm afraid he's going to do something dangerous and cause an accident. Right, yeah.
Chrissy
You were given space to let him back in.
Brian Green
I was given space everywhere.
Chrissy
Yeah. Yeah.
Brian Green
Now I'm just like, back down at like 75 miles per hour just watching it Play out. And finally my little travel buddy gets around the guy, right? He gets around the guy. So now the guy backs down. No, backs down to block us all in again.
Chrissy
Again.
Brian Green
But I'm not having it. Before he can block me in, I jump to the right and I hit the paddle. And I mean, I hit it and I hit it hard. Before I know it, I'm going 90 miles per hour, but there's no one in front of me. I mean, it's just clear as day. Except my travel buddy is now, like 16 miles ahead of me, and I'm like, clear as day. Just go in the right hand lane and get away from this guy who's now speeding up to play games with me. So I'm like, nope, not going to have it. Go, go, go, go, go. And I crest the hill, and there he is, the Georgia state patrol officer that's been waiting for Brian the entire morning. He just had his cup of coffee. He took his shit in the local red stop, and he said, I'm going to get me a super speeder. And he got him a super speeder. He got Brian. He got me. As soon as I passed him, I started pulling over. As soon as I passed him, I started pulling over. Before his blue lights even came on, I was already on the shoulder of the road ab because it was almost like I admitted guilt before he even really told me I had a problem. I already knew it. I already knew that I got clocked, and I knew I was going fast. And so he cut a little hard.
Chrissy
This little stomach flutter.
Brian Green
Oh, my God. Yeah. Am I gonna go to jail? Do I have a. Do I have a warrant in some far flung county from some time in my life when I don't remember? I'm nervous. I always get nervous around cops. Cops make me nervous. I've not always had the best interactions with them. I mean, I've never, like, you know, ran from a cop or something, but I have had handcuffs on before a few times in my life. And when you have handcuffs on, you realize that a cop has the power to do that. And that doesn't make you feel good. Being in handcuffs is not a good feeling. That means you can't go anywhere and there's nothing you can do about it. And you. And it's out of your control, all of it. So that out of control feeling, that PTSD comes back to you. If you ever had an interaction with a police officer where you end up in handcuffs, you instantly get that ptsd.
Chrissy
I mean, I've been in handcuffs, but not with a police officer.
Brian Green
So, okay. Jeff is not the same. Jeff is not the same. By the way, I have to ask you.
Chrissy
I've got a sense of elation.
Brian Green
Remind Chrissy has the other reaction. She has ptsd. Pussy syndrome. She has pussy. TT Pussy. Tsd. Here, hold my panties. So officer comes up, young guy. Young guy. I mean, 23, 24 years old. It feels a little weird when you're the old guy in the situation and he's the authority figure. You know what I'm saying?
Chrissy
Right? Yeah.
Brian Green
He comes up to the left hand, up to Astrid's window, and Astro is like, is he coming up to my window? I go, that's what he's going to do. So he doesn't kill himself. Of course. I pulled way over on the side of the road. The kids, they're all on their iPad. Daddy, why did you get pulled over? Daddy, are you going to jail? Daddy, why is the police officer coming? And I'm like, shut up. Yes, Daddy's going to jail. Goodbye, kids. Remember me fondly. Am I going to jail? I don't know. It's literally a roll of the dice right now. In 20, 25, I could be going to jail. I don't know. So he comes up and he's like, you know, Georgia State Patrol. Yeah. Where are you going so fast this morning?
Chrissy
They always say that, too.
Brian Green
And I go, listen, we're on our way to Disney World.
Chrissy
And I go, this is literally like.
Brian Green
Movie. I know. Like Clark. Clark Griswold. That's right. I'm Clark Griswold. I'm on the side of the road with this officer, and he. And in my head, I could tell him exactly what happened, just like I told you, and it could all make sense to him. And in my head, I can pretty much talk my way in and out of anything. Except for a police officer. I'm not even going to try. So I start down the. I start down the story. I'm like, listen, Officer, there was, like, a guy sitting in the left hand. And then Astrid turns her head to look at me, and I was like. But it doesn't really matter. I was going too fast. I'm in the doghouse. I'm more scared of Astrid than I am of the police officer. I'm. I'm like, whispering, take me, take me. Take me away in my head. Now I'm scared that Astrid's going to, like, take away my driving privileges for the rest of the vacation, and I'm going to have to be stuck having Astro drive. Who's a lovely driver, by the way. But she will be going 67 in the left hand lane, I can guarantee it. That's just the driver that she is. So I'm like, I was going too fast. I'm sorry. I really. I apologize. I shouldn't have been going that fast. And he's like, you know, we're not with these kids in the car. Not at all. And I'm like, yeah, I got it. All right. Yeah. Okay. So he comes back and, you know, that. That awful wait to see whether or not, you know, where's your insurance card? I have it on my phone. Don't worry, it's in the system. Give me your license. He goes, okay, I'm just gonna check. He goes, I gotta come back here, make a few checks, and then I'll be back with you in a few minutes. Mercifully, he only took, like three minutes. Honestly. He wrote it up. He wrote it a couple of miles per hour under what he had clocked me at, because otherwise I would have gotten a super speeder ticket, which is, like, expensive. They're expensive. It's like mandatory. You have to go to classes and you could go to jail. They could. That's a restable offense in the state of Georgia. A super speeder ticket, which is. I think it's 25 miles per hour or over. So he wrote it for 23 miles per hour. Still going to be a very expensive ticket. But then he comes back and he says, Listen, Mr. Green, I gotta ask you to please lighten up that right foot. He's like, you don't need to be going that fast down these highways. He's like, you know that it's just dangerous. And I said, yeah, no, I got you. And he goes, all right, well, have a safe trip and take care of those kids. And I'm like, okay. And then as soon, you know, then he. As soon as he gives me the ticket and I take it, I, like, pull away, right?
Chrissy
Yeah.
Brian Green
And I see as, where are you going so fast? And I'm like, I'm not going anywhere so fast. I just want to get back on the road. Like, he's done with me. What am I supposed to do? Sit around and mourn my ticket? Like, what's the appropriate amount of time to sit behind a police. Sit in front of a police officer. Used to be when I was a kid and I would get pulled over. When I was like a 20 year old, I got pulled over. I would always let the police officer leave, go first. Yeah. Just to make sure he was in front of me and I was gonna get pulled over a second time. But in my adult life I've learned once you're, once you've concluded business, you get on your way back on the road. That's what you do. Or at least that's how I feel you should, you know, why do I have to sit around and wait? I see an opening. Let's get back on the highway. And so I did. And then, so now my intention of getting down there in like a little under seven and a half hours is completely blown. Now it's going to be nine hours at least. Because it's not that that officer is going to follow me all the way down the highway, it's that. Astrid, of course is now her claim that I'm always driving too fast. Her parents say this. Her, my brother in law says this. My own brothers say this. I've been in very few accidents in my life where I was driving. Very few. And they've all been fender benders. Luckily, however, I do drive a little fast sometimes. So now I am officially in the doghouse.
Chrissy
Yeah, she's on high alert.
Brian Green
I had to drive slow there, I had to drive slow back. I had to go under 10 miles per hour over the speed limit. It was just like a whole cluster. It didn't start off great, but I decided to shake it off real quick.
Chrissy
You have to.
Brian Green
That adrenaline was. I had, it was like early morning.
Chrissy
I had a cup of coffee, right.
Brian Green
I know food in my stomach. That adrenaline kept me going for like three hours. I was nervous. I was like, oh my God, thank God I didn't go to jail. Thank God I don't have an, A warrant somewhere out there for my arrest. I mean, not that most people do, but you just Never know in 2025 what some kind of fuckery that's going on when all of a sudden you're going to end up in jail. So my Disney vacation did not start out the greatest, but it also got a little bit better that night. And there's lots of other stories to tell, but I don't want to, I don't want to throw it up all on you at one time. And trust me, the throwing up part will come later on in the story because there are other things to get to Chrissy, including a child who fell off a Disney cruise saved by her father. Did you see that? I want to talk a little bit about that. I've also got some information that I think you're going to want to know about. Mystery. Do you remember Mystery. Oh, yeah, the one of the OG PUAs that we reviewed. Guy that did that VH1 show, the pickup artist wore that crazy top hat like Tom Petty and the Heartbreaker.
Chrissy
A question mark on his shirt or something.
Brian Green
Yeah, I think he tattooed it on his chest or some. He's still around. He's like 62 years old. He's still around. He's still doing his thing. He's doing boot camps now, and I'd love to share with you some of the commercials that he's put together for his boot camps and his buddies. And then before the week is out, because you asked for it and it's. It's a hot topic right now with Commercial breakers, we have more poly couch cushions coming your way. I have pulled three fantastic videos that he's just put out in the last week. Three fantastic videos. So we'll try and get to it today, but there's a lot to talk about. But stay tuned for the rest of the week because Paulie Couch Cushions is coming back. I may do this every week until the end of the year. Paulie keeps doing these videos. We just might dedicate a whole day every week to Paulie couch Cushions. Let's take a short break. We're back from Odyssey. We're feeling good in our home ground. We are here at our home stadium. And, yeah, we'll take a break. We'll be back.
Chrissy
Let's do it.
Brian Green
Okay.
Astrid
You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us, and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on video@YouTube.com thecommercial break. Best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid.
Brian Green
This episode is sponsored in part by our longtime sponsor, Squarespace. I say Squarespace. You say what? Squarespace, the all in one website platform. It's designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whether you're just starting out or you're scaling a business like we are. Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings, put it all on a professional website to help you grow your brand and get paid. If it sounds like a lot, it is. It's all in one place. Without a website, you cannot do anything in 2025. You can't create and distribute content. You can't create and sell products, you can't showcase your services. And you certainly can't be a mediocre comedy podcast without a great looking website. Oh, but Brian, I don't have $50,000 to help me create a beautiful website. Squarespace does it for you. They have cutting edge blueprint AI. It helps you build a fully custom website in just a few steps using just basic information about your industry goals and personality. Wa bam. Beautiful website. But Brian, I don't have $50,000 to do search engine optimization. Some companies might charge you $50,000. Not Squarespace. Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions and auto generated sitemap. With so much more to help you show up on the search engines more often. Go to squarespace.com commercial for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Business cards and handshakes are great, but a website is your salesperson that never sleeps. Squarespace.com Commercial and then make sure to use the code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And thank you to Squarespace for being a continued sponsor of the commercial break. Hey, what's up Flies? This is David Spade. Dana Carvey. Look at. I know we never actually left, but I'll just say it. We are back with another season of Fly on the Wall. Every episode, including ones with guests, will now be on video. Every Thursday, you'll hear us and see us chatting with big name celebrities. And every Monday, you're stuck with just me and Dana. We react to news, what's trending, viral clips follow and listen to Fly on the Wall everywhere you get your podcasts.
Rachel Maddow
At California Psychics, we know some people can't read the career warning signs like.
Brian Green
Your boss still not knowing your name.
Chrissy
You, Tina, Lisa, Sheila, whatever.
Brian Green
Get that report to me by lunch, okay?
Chrissy
It's Carrie, ma' am.
Brian Green
Just get it done, Terry.
Rachel Maddow
So talk to California psychics and receive.
Brian Green
The career guidance you need. We only connect you with the very.
Rachel Maddow
Best, so guarantee if your reading isn't life changing, it's free. California psychics call 1-800-PREDICT today and get.
Brian Green
20 minutes for just $20. Sorry, I gotta get myself situated. I want to look good on camera. I got my pink on pink today. What do you think? Looking good. Yeah, I like it, too. I feel good in pink for some reason.
Chrissy
You look good in pink.
Brian Green
I really do. I feel like when I bring my gay out a little bit, it makes me feel.
Chrissy
Yeah, well, you've got the eyes and you've got the tan going on, too.
Brian Green
I do have the tan going on, man. I'll tell you what. Spend five minutes in the Central Florida sun in late June and you're gonna be tan. There's no way around it. You can't get around it. And I like that. I like the sun on my face. But, you know, the kids now, today, and I say the kids. Teenagers in the early 20s, you do this when you're dumb and you're young. But then I don't have much room to talk. They're all checking the UV index, not because they want to put on more sunscreen to see what kind of tan they can get. So they say, are you checking the uv? What's the uvi? The UV index. It's a whole thing that's going on in social media.
Chrissy
It's been really hot here. Or it's been really high here, too.
Brian Green
Yeah, it's. It's been miserably hot here, too. But mercifully, it rains every 15 minutes, so. That's true. Break. Oh, my God. My blue pool over overflowed yesterday.
Chrissy
No way.
Brian Green
It rained straight for an hour and a half.
Chrissy
Yeah, when I got home from the studios, it was.
Brian Green
Yeah, like water pouring from a faucet out of the sky. And it just. I just watched my. As my pool went, it just. It just overflowed. That's like the fifth time since I've had that pool that I've watched it overflow. It's quite amazing. That means that the drainage can't handle the amount of water that's going into it. I don't need to. I don't need to talk to you about aquatic equations, kids. You already know. When more water goes in that can be let out, it's going to overflow. Okay. All right, let's talk about a few things that happened while we were gone. Number one, speaking of Disney, a child. You have to have your head in the hole not to have heard about this. And maybe you haven't. I don't know. But I think this has been widely reported. A few of our listeners actually sent this in to me because they knew I was at Disney or a Disney fan. Disney Dream, which is the ship that I have been on now twice, three times, that goes down to the Caribbean and to the private island and maybe to the Bahamas, depending on which one you take. That dream just keeps on going back and forth to the Bahamas, to the private island, Disney's private islands. Three day, four day cruise. Three night, four night cruise. Beautiful ship. It's one of their older ones, but it's gorgeous. Most people who like Disney cruises say the Disney Dream is the best of them, really. They're impeccably clean. They are impeccably beautiful. They are well maintained. The crew is well trained. They are lovely. The food is delicious. The rooms are incredible. If you're into cruising, a Disney cruise is not a bad place to be stuck. Is it the best cruise ship in the world? No, I've been on better. But it certainly is great for the family. Right. They're also very expensive, just like Disney is. But one of the things that Disney takes extra care of on these cruise ships, at least this cruise ship that I've been on, the Disney Dream, is that as a parent, one of the things that concerns you about the other cruise lines is the safety of the cruise line. Especially if you have a balcony and around the balconies of the children. Because oftentimes the balconies have, you know, the banisters and then maybe a couple of railings down to the floor. But those railings, if your child is small, it's easy to get in between those railings.
Chrissy
Really. They're just open. I wonder if there was some kind of like plexiglass.
Brian Green
There is on the Disney Dream, on the Disney Dream, there is Plexiglas on every potential or possible place, place where a child could slip through. With the notable of exception of some places on deck four where they have this, the. The lifeboats, essentially.
Chrissy
Okay.
Brian Green
There are some places where I could see that if you really tried, you could slip through and get to a place where you could get off the ship. But I think any parent who's aware would know that and would probably be paying a lot of attention to a small child around, especially on that Deck 4. Deck 4 is where they have the bars, the adult.
Chrissy
Is that gonna be like the top deck?
Brian Green
No, the top deck is like deck 15 or something.
Chrissy
Oh, okay.
Brian Green
This is where they have the running track or the walking track around the ship. So it's essentially think of like one big walkway around the ship.
Chrissy
Yeah.
Brian Green
And it's just a railing that you can go that out to the ocean. So it's a beautiful place to go take a walk after dinner, right? You just take a walk around the entire boat and you can look over into the ocean, unobstructed view of the ocean, railing up to your chest. Plexiglas. Even though they have those slats, those rungs, there's Plexiglas down to the floor. I mean, you probably couldn't get your hand under there, let alone a child. The same way on the balconies of the rooms. The same way on the balconies in the front of the ship. When you go to, like, the pool area. In the pool area, the. I would say the banister is probably 5ft tall and has plexiglass to the floor.
Chrissy
That's why I'm picturing that. Like, there's a lot of safety nets.
Brian Green
Here, A lot of safety. Not to mention the most advanced man overboard system known to man is on those Disney ships. They have every inch, every inch of that ship. The outside of that ship is covered by a man overboard system and monitoring cameras 24 hours a day. It's heat sensitive. So if anything over 68 degrees goes over, it immediately sounds an alarm and everybody's on. Wow.
Chrissy
It's heat sensitive.
Brian Green
It's heat sensitive. So it's like a heat signature. It's. You know, they do this with a lot of things, like cameras. Like in the woods, the hunters put the cameras and they take pictures of anything that's like over 68 degrees.
Chrissy
Like the mountain monsters.
Brian Green
Like the mountain monsters who have never, ever put on the thermals. Kids, they have thermals on the Disney dream. They have thermals.
Chrissy
They do.
Brian Green
I'm saying all of this not to give you a dissertation on Disney safety on the cruises, but it feels very safe. As a parent, I never once thought that my child could get over the railing. Unless one thing, one thing and one thing only, unless they took the patio furniture on the balcony and pushed it to the edge and then tried somehow to get over. In that case, I think they might be able to do that. What did we do? We took the balcony furniture and we put it on top of each other so my children would have to rearrange the balcony furniture to get it on the floor to push it over. We also kept the door locked. Anytime that we were not in the room or we were not paying, we were not on the balcony with them. The door was locked. They have a lock up top and a lock on the bottom. The kids can't reach it. So the Question. When you read the story, and here's the story. Child goes in five years old, girl, father jumps in after her, finds her in the water, swims, swims for 20 minutes, treads water fully clothed while waiting for the Disney crew to get the lifeboat in the water and get over.
Chrissy
Look at that. I mean, wow.
Brian Green
Wow. And 20 minutes is remarkably fast. Remarkably fast. Think about that. You have to get a muster, get to the muster station, get the muster crew, the people who are certified to do this, the safety crew, lower them down 40ft into the water where waves and all. You have to stop the boat, turn it around so it's facing where they left. And then you have to find them in the water in the middle of the day when everything's glaring. And then you have to get them out of the water. And you have to do that in the amount of time where someone is. Could potentially tread water. And think about a child who has just fell off a boat who is absolutely freaking the fuck out. Oh, yeah, I am in that pool and two of my kids grab onto me and I start getting a little panicky because I couldn't do that for more than three minutes.
Chrissy
Yeah.
Brian Green
But I will tell you what. Even before I got to the end of that story and I read that the father jumped in after her, I said, absolutely. No question. I would have been in that water so fast. And Astrid goes, I don't know that I would have. I would have felt like it was just too late. And I go, I wouldn't have cared if it was too late. I would have died trying. We're going down together if that's the case.
Chrissy
Yeah, you hear about that with parents who all of a sudden display feats of strength and you know, just break.
Brian Green
The adrenaline's going and you just make an immediate decision that if there's anything I can do, there's only one way to do it and that's to do the same thing to go in after them. A lot of people online, it's like, like a mixed bag. Some parents online were like, absolutely. And some parents online were like, I don't know that I could have ever even thought about doing that. Like, that would have been the thing that came to mind. I would have thought about throwing a life vest, getting down, you know, to the crew.
Chrissy
Jumping on a five year old, you.
Brian Green
Know, there's no chance she survives. There's. I'm quite, quite frankly, I'm surprised she survived the fall.
Chrissy
Right. 40ft hits like hard concrete.
Brian Green
When you're on that fourth deck, you realize Just how high that is, maybe not a full 40ft, but it's three stories and a child with small bones and not a lot of strength and experience swimming. How he even found her when the boat is moving. The boat was moving, by the way. How the girl didn't get sucked under the boat, which happens a lot also because there is a draft and you know it's pulling it. All the things that could have gone wrong here, everything went right. Every single thing went right. He jumped in, he found her, he managed to keep himself afloat. You saw the picture of this guy. He was keeping a lot of float. I'm telling you, this guy wasn't like Mr. Fantastically Fit. I'm not making fun of the guy. He's a fucking hero. He's a fucking hero. So this is an amazing story with such a happy ending. But then like all shitty things on the Internet, someone starts a rumor that they were on the boat and they saw. How I was wondering how. Everyone was wondering, how did this happen? How could a patah. Could it possibly happen? And people online, some lady said that she was on the boat and she heard or she saw that the father was putting the child on the railing to take a picture.
Chrissy
That's what I read too.
Brian Green
It is not true because the authorities came out this morning and they said, we have not finished our investigation. But in an effort to dispel rumors, we have found zero evidence and we have spoken with eyewitnesses who did not see the father dangling the child or putting her on a railing. They were playing shuffleboard and the child managed to climb over the railing. How she did this, I don't know. But you know, five year olds are precocious.
Chrissy
It's true.
Brian Green
They find a foothold somewhere. They want to get over, they think it's fun. They want to get to the top, they want to see over. And she fell over. The father saw it. He jumped in immediately. So this is just an amazing story.
Chrissy
It really is. When I read it, I was just blown away. And then it continued in the one article I read about saying that, I don't know, there's like a 15% chance most people survive the the over the railing.
Brian Green
It happens very rarely. A lot of people fall off boats every year. A lot of people fall off cruise ships especially some people jump off them. Some people are drunk and they fall off their balcony late at night. A lot of cruise ships don't have these kind of safety measures in place. The balconies are. The railings on the balconies are Much lower. They're like waist high. It's easy to kind of get yourself over, you know, like be drunk and fall over. You got to be fucking careful. You can't be a dum dum. When you're on a cruise ship, the chances of surviving a fall, depending on what deck you're on, are not great. But what really happens is you either get sucked under the boat or the boat gets so far away from you, you are never found again. Because even in warm water, hypothermia can set in quickly. You have to think about this. People are like, oh, they're down in the Caribbean. It's warm water. That water's 88 degrees. Let's say 88 degrees. Your body's 98 degrees. Anything under 85 degrees for your body, your body temperature, you're going into hypothermia. If you're in water, it's cooling you immediately. It's like putting a beer in a. In a cooler full of ice and water. Your body's becoming the same temperature as the water very quickly. Within 20 or 30 minutes, you're gonna get hypothermia, even in warm water. So the truth is that all odds are against you surviving this.
Chrissy
Yeah.
Brian Green
And the only thing that allows this girl to survive is her fucking hero of a father making an absolute second by second call that. No question, I am in the water with her. I can't even, like, begin to praise this father enough for the quick thinking and action. He could have died. They both could have died. She could have been dead, and he was swimming after her, her body, all the things. But as a father, when I think this one through, and these are the kind of stories that make you think it through, there's no question, if one of my children had fallen over, I would have been in in a heartbeat. In a heartbeat, I would have been in. And that's to say that I am also a hero. The hero you didn't know you needed. I'm a hero just for thinking about doing this. Okay, let's admit it. I've never fallen overboard. Neither have ever either, any of my children. But let's pretend they did. I would have already saved them in my head.
Chrissy
Oh, you would have done it faster.
Brian Green
Faster than that guy. And I would have swam for longer. I would have swam to the Disney private island.
Chrissy
You would have just. Yeah, because weren't they close to. I thought they were actually closer to going back to Florida.
Brian Green
They were. They were traveling from the island to Florida.
Chrissy
You would have just, you know, swam. Swam To Florida.
Brian Green
To Miami. That's right. And then before the ship even got there, I would have already checked my daughter into the local dock in the box. We got it all checked out. I would have been at the Ritz Carlton with warm hot chocolate for her watching Frozen.
Chrissy
I'm picturing you coming out of the water like Baywatch style.
Brian Green
Baywatch with my belly all shaking water.
Chrissy
Off of yourself as you, you know, you're carrying my daughter.
Brian Green
Yeah. Shaking my daughter. Pictures being taken. Yeah. I would have sold the story to people before Astrid got off the boat. And that's the truth, by the way. There is a picture going around of the ship, like, the boat, the safety boat coming back to the vessel, to the cruise ship. And the father is in the back of the boat looking completely wrecked. Like, he's completely out of it. The child is not shown. She's got a towel over her head, but her poor little body is laying what looks like her mother's lap. And you can just tell the life is out of her. Not really, but you can just tell, like, there's no more energy left. This child is gonna be. This child's never gonna go on a cruise ship again. She's gonna have a fear of water for the rest of her life. I hope she doesn't, but I think that probably will happen. But the mother looks so incredibly pissed. And the father and the mother aren't looking at each other. The father's not even on the same side of the boat as the mother. So when the rumors.
Chrissy
It's amazing. So the staff then got the mother on the boat, too, to go do the rescue.
Brian Green
Here's the crazy thing, is that the muster station, the place where you would release the safety boat, is on the 4th. So I think what happened is the mother was the one quickly ran to the. Quickly ran. And they just threw her on the safety boat so that she could be there. But they got everybody on on board.
Chrissy
She looks pissed.
Brian Green
She looks pissed. She looks pissed. And so when the rumor started that he was putting her up there for a picture, in my mind, I put two and two together. And I thought, it's all making sense now. Mom and Astrid was telling me. We were talking about this. Astrid's like, oh, they're getting a divorce. Because when something like this happens, you can never forgive the. You would never forgive the husband. Like, never forgive him for doing something so dumb. I was not as quick to judge. I thought. When I read this story, I thought, could be true, right? Could not be true. It makes sense because it's really hard to get overboard on a Disney ship. But then I saw the picture of the mother and I was like, huh, I don't know, maybe that's it. But I am very happy to hear for his sake. I'm very. And the sake of the marriage.
Chrissy
Yeah. I'm just so happy. Everybody. Everybody is okay.
Brian Green
Meanwhile, this is the most precocious five year old in the history of five year olds. And listen, I have one. I've got eight of them and I know they can get into trouble. Luckily all of mine are afraid of hearts, afraid of heights and not particularly brave. So I don't worry too much about them wanting to climb over a railing. But they do get into stupid shit all the time, you know what stupid shit, Chrissy? Labubu. Labu is stupid. I can't tell you how sick of Labubu I am.
Chrissy
I was reading a story while you were gone thinking of and it made me think of you. I think I saved it in my phone, but it was the fake Labubus and how people don't care.
Brian Green
Lafufufu. It's like what they're calling them Lafu.
Chrissy
Foo and how people don't care, they just want them.
Brian Green
They don't give a shit.
Chrissy
They might just have only nine.
Brian Green
Nine teeth instead of eight teeth or something like that. Yes, there's a way to tell. And you know people don't care. They're paying hundreds of dollars for these. If we were smart, we'd jump on the bandwagon and start selling lafufu. But we' yeah, we should sell La Cuckoos like commercial breaks. La Cuckoos. I'm gonna draw something like a little devil and I'm gonna make it a La Cuckoo. What do you think?
Chrissy
I like it. I like it.
Brian Green
The La Cuckoos are for sale here at the commercial break. Listen, people are going crazy over these Labubus.
Chrissy
Yeah, here it is. Yeah, I pulled it up.
Brian Green
Let me see.
Chrissy
It was in the New York Times.
Brian Green
Labubus are fake and they don't care if your Labu Boo doll has come with more than nine teeth or it came in a box with a shiny bright finish. It may not be Le Booboo. It's probably Lafu Fu, Lafu Fu or La Cuckoo.
Chrissy
I like La Cuckoo.
Brian Green
I like La Cuckoo Coo. I like La Cucu too. Knockoffs are wildly popular. Knockoffs of the wildly popular Elf like doll, which are collectively called the Monsters and are sold exclusively by Chinese toy retailer Pop Mart, have become almost as popular as the real thing. And they are much Easier to find. Look at that. They're showing video of just like tens of thousands of Lafu foos that the Chinese authorities are. Listen, this happens. They were selling, like, Habit Patch dolls too, at one point. Like, you know. Yeah, they had like, stitching through their eyeball and stuff. It was clearly not a Cabbage Patch doll. But I want to talk about the boo because people are taking it to a new level now. People are claiming online that they are waking up with. Did I. Was I talking about this yesterday?
Chrissy
Yes.
Brian Green
They're waking up with, like, teeth marks and they're closing their doors and they're bringing in bad spirits. I found a video where a Satanist, a former Satanist, a guy that we have talked about on this show before, we reviewed a video, he's a reformed Satanist, is talking about Labubus and all the trouble they can bring to your family.
Chrissy
Monsters.
Brian Green
Yeah, I think he's. I think this guy just pops up anytime there's an opportunity to be on another podcast, you know what I'm saying? But for some reason, he's the expert on Satanism and all things bad. We'll talk about why Le Boo Boo might in fact be a sign of the apocalypse. After these words, we'll be back. You make this rather snappy, won't you?
Rachel Maddow
I have some really heavy thinking to do before 10:00.
Astrid
Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak and nervously into the void like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a raise. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans or tell us a little story. The juicier the better. By the way, we love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done with listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials, hecommercial break on Insta, TCB, podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch. Oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video, YouTube.com thecommercialbreak and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously, Axel needs food. Today is pork chop day. Buying a car in Carvana was so easy. I was able to finance it through them.
Chrissy
I just.
Astrid
Whoa, wait, you mean finance?
Brian Green
Yeah, finance.
Astrid
Got pre qualified for a Carvana auto loan, entered my terms and shot from thousands of great car options all within my budget.
Brian Green
That's cool.
Astrid
But financing through Carvana was so easy. Financed, done.
Brian Green
And I get to pick up my.
Astrid
Car from their Carvana vending machine tomorrow. Financed, right?
Brian Green
That's what I said.
Chrissy
You can spend time trying to pronounce financing, or you can actually finance and buy your car today on car finance financing, subject to credit approval. Additional terms and conditions may apply.
John
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Brian Green
Oh God, that's funny. Chrissy and I talking about 90 year olds now going to dance clubs and I said that's the time to do it. We've talked about this like those old ladies in that, like, you know, gypsy party that were doing huge gats of cocaine and having a great time and dancing it up. You got nothing to lose. What the fuck? Why not? All right, listen. The boo boos are taking on, as they were bound to, are taking on a life of their own, literally in some people's homes. They're becoming like a sign of Satanism to some of these wackadoo Christians who think everything is the sign of these are the same people who got upset about, wanted to put labels on music and all this other stuff. It's there's nothing new under the sun. Same brand of hypocrisy, same brand of puritan. Puritan as. What do you.
Chrissy
How would you say that Puritanism.
Brian Green
Puritanism that has been going around the United States of America since the Pilgrims came over killed all the Indians. That's right. Their hypocrisy killed all the Indians, stole their land and took all their food and brought pestilence and disease. So here this guy is a former Satanist. He's talking to somebody about Labubus and all of the recent hubbub on the Haboo boos that's going on on YouTube and Instagram. This is so crazy about how Labubus are literally devils that are coming to life when people aren't looking to cause wreak havoc. It's like gremlins. I was gonna say literally buying gremlins and bringing them to your house.
Chrissy
Or like this, the Stephen King, the Twilight Zone, the movie where it had that one where the. The little thing would come at night and steal the girl's breath.
Brian Green
Oh, yeah. Oh, there's a creepy little fucker. What was that? The little like gnome or something. That's so weird. It was. It was so weird. So weird. Okay, so here, let's take a listen to this guy and see what he's got to say about the boo boos and the devil.
Rachel Maddow
You know, they're cute, they're so funny, they're so comfortable. But that's what the devil wants you to believe.
Brian Green
They're so comfortable. That's what the devil wants you to believe. They're comfortable. If they're comfortable, they're comfortable. The devil doesn't want you to believe that. That's how it feels.
Rachel Maddow
You could take it to your house. You could take it to your house and you can bring these negative things into your house.
Brian Green
Okay, you can take it to your house. Can you really? Here. This is a Catholic inspiration channel. In case you're wondering where you can find this kind of content, I want.
Rachel Maddow
To ask you this kind of doll, if you're familiar with this. Brother John, the Labubu Dollar, if you're familiar with this. Recently, this doll, it's called Labubu Doll, has been linked to claims of demonic activity. What are your thoughts on this activity?
Brian Green
I love it. Look at the Labubus.
Chrissy
I know.
Brian Green
They're starting a boy band.
Chrissy
It's got the guitar and a boombox.
Brian Green
There's a picture of. There's like a stock photograph of the Labubus and one's got a guitar. It's a boom. It's a summer party with all the little devils. They're gonna bite your neck at night. They look so unassuming there. A little picnic till they steal your breath.
Rachel Maddow
How can people discern if an object is spiritually dangerous? I mean, you got to know one thing. The devil would take something entertaining, something. Something that looks. You could get comfortable with. These things. Look like little devils.
Brian Green
He could be talking about the commercial break. It's entertaining. It's comforting. But we look like little devils, you know, little devil.
Rachel Maddow
And people say, well, they look harmless. They look cute.
Brian Green
You.
Rachel Maddow
They're cute. They're so funny. They're so cool.
Chrissy
The other guy's like, they are cute. They're cute.
Brian Green
He's like, they are. I've been using them to masturbate with.
Chrissy
They're comfortable.
Brian Green
Oh, they're really comfortable.
Rachel Maddow
But that's what the devil wants you to believe. So you could take it to your house. You could take it to your house.
Brian Green
You could take it to your house. You could take it to your car. You could take it anywhere. It's on the boo boo.
Rachel Maddow
And you can bring these negative things into your house. And when you bring negative things into your house, you change your spiritual environment in your house.
Brian Green
House.
Rachel Maddow
Now, the devil has legal rights over your house.
Brian Green
Legal. The devil has legal rights over your house, does he really? Is that what that means?
Chrissy
Yeah.
Brian Green
Be careful. Be careful you don't sign that Labubu contract.
Rachel Maddow
He got legal right by bringing something. How many times people say, halloween, that's harmless. We put on a costume. Trick or treat. Give me candy. I don't see no harm to that. Of course not. Because the difference.
Brian Green
Sexy French maid outfit. I dress like Paris Hilton. I don't see no harm to that.
Rachel Maddow
But I don't want you to see the real side of it, because if you see the real side of what the devil's trying to do, you won't do it. It's like a person.
Brian Green
And what do I do with all 455 of my labubus?
Chrissy
Yeah, he's thinking.
Brian Green
Yes. And my Mickey Mouse costume for this year's Halloween activities.
Rachel Maddow
The drug dealer, right? He tell you. Oh, don't worry about it, man.
Brian Green
You want to be. I don't like what you're saying here. I'd have to get rid of a lot of stuff. Wait, now you're saying I got to get rid of my cocaine? Really? Come on, man.
Rachel Maddow
Here's some cocaine. Don't worry about. Pay me later. Don't worry about it.
Brian Green
You, my friend, I don't know. What kind of drug dealer is that? Pay me later.
Chrissy
We didn't have those.
Brian Green
No. I might be extended, like, half a gram of credit, but it Wasn't going very far. And I better pay in the morning when I get my paycheck. I get my paycheck on Tuesday. Ah, no, man. Don't call me with that bullshit, man. Come on, Brian. Don't call me with that bullshit. That's what T would say. He'd say, don't call me with that bullshit, man. I'd be like, come on, man, front me a little bit. And he'd be like, don't call me with that bullshit. When are you gonna pay me? I don't know, like, Tuesday. I get my paycheck. Pay me tomorrow. Okay, I'll pay you tomorrow double. Okay. All right. Don't fuck with me now. I'm coming to your house at 10am don't fuck with me.
Rachel Maddow
I love you. Take this on credit. Pay me. But when you don't pay him, he gonna send his friends to beat you up like a pinata. Right? Or if you do drugs. You think you're having a happy moment now your heart stops.
Brian Green
Jeez. John here, full of optimism. He's a super happy former Satanist.
Rachel Maddow
Right?
Chrissy
The other guy just keeps going.
Rachel Maddow
It's what the devil knows how to put makeup on something to dress it up, to look. To look in it.
Brian Green
Sounds like our interview with Veer Das, by the way. I gotta say this. Guess who wants to come back on the show?
Chrissy
No way.
Brian Green
Veer does.
Chrissy
No way.
Brian Green
He does. And I. I what? What do I say? No? I mean, of course I say yes.
Chrissy
Of course.
Brian Green
I can't believe. I just don't think he remembers who he. Soccer, I think. I think his agent doesn't remember who he was talking to.
Chrissy
Right, right.
Brian Green
She's gotta. But I do know his agent, and she is quite a fan of ours, I think, because we say yes. Everything she sends our way.
Rachel Maddow
But behind it, behind the scenes, he knows how to entrap you. He knows how to bring the curse into your home to something that looks innocent. But the bottom line of it is a setup of the enemy.
Chrissy
I thought you said that some people were saying they were biting them on the neck.
Brian Green
They were. No, I'm just getting a Satanist point of view about this is what everybody is saying. Listen, some people are taking it to the extreme. People that are obviously looking for attention, they have mental health issues, are claiming that they're, like, biting them on the neck and they could show up with these bruises and these scars and like, how did I get. It's like. Because you did it yourself. You painted it there.
Rachel Maddow
Because this doll was collected by. By Many famous artists. You see the famous artists today. I mean, look in America, right? We had an election, right? So you got Kamala Harris. She brings all these artists up there.
Brian Green
Kamala harass. Oh, here we go. Here we go. John.
Rachel Maddow
Beyonce, she brings. She brings Eminem, Taylor Swift. Eminem, right? And you're like, oh, my God. Oh, look, they have friends. Look, they love her lies.
Brian Green
They. These lies. How do I know? I'm a former Satanist with a third grade education.
Rachel Maddow
People. Devil worshipers. So she's a jezebel. So jezebel and devil worshipers meet up.
Brian Green
Why you got to bring Kamala into the Labubu conversation? Kamala ever do. I swear to God. This is the problem in America. Anything is a reason to just throw Joe Biden or Kamala Harris into it or even Trump. It's like, come on, guys, it's not everything. It's a fucking doll that people like to collect, and all of a sudden, Kamala Harris is responsible for it. This is.
Chrissy
And Beyonce.
Brian Green
Yeah, I can literally hear the rocks rolling around in this guy's head to.
Rachel Maddow
To present to you a big lie, right? And then the truth just came out the other day. You know what came out the other day?
Brian Green
You know what came out the other day? I read it on Reddit, where all the former Satanists get I read it on Reddit. All the former Satanists get their information. You know what came out the other day? My nose hair. See it? I haven't shaved it in 10 years.
Rachel Maddow
She paid Beyonce $10 million to speak for two minutes.
Brian Green
Whoa. Amazing information. Oh, Jesus Christ.
Chrissy
She's been outed now.
Brian Green
She's been out. Oh, that's, by the way, false.
Chrissy
Yeah.
Brian Green
Not a true story. Anybody has any inkling to believe that? It's not true. It's been debunked.
Rachel Maddow
I mean, to speak for Duran. She paid Eminem $1.8 million to show off a few minutes. She paid Kelly. She paid Lady Gaga $10 million.
Brian Green
Lani Gaga. Who's Lenny Gaga?
Chrissy
It's Lady Gaga's brother.
Brian Green
Hey, I'm a. I'm a little monster, too.
Chrissy
Of the lefufu. Of the levos.
Brian Green
That's right. Of the la Gaga. I'm Lenny. I'm Lenny Gaga. I thought it said Lady Gaga. No, Joe called me. He said you needed Lenny Gaga. I'm Lenny.
Rachel Maddow
To show up and say something nice about her. You see? You see the lies behind the scenes.
Brian Green
You see the lies? Because I just told you I'm the Rachel Maddow, a former Satanist turned podcast guest.
Rachel Maddow
These people, they just came because they. They. They got paid. They got money. Lady Gaga got $10 million. Katy Perry got $10 million. Beyonce got $10 million.
Chrissy
Literally. What does this have to do with the.
Brian Green
Literally, this has nothing to do with the little boobos, number one. Number two, if we want to talk tit for tat, and I don't want to talk tit for tat, But Donald Trump's friends aren't around him. Right. For months. You think Jeff Bezos became Donald Trump's pal because they like each other?
Chrissy
Yeah.
Brian Green
Come on, shithead. This happens. We just talked about this yesterday. Relationships at that level are transactional, first of all. Never happened. They didn't give anybody $10 million to play, first of all. Second of all, all relationships at that level are transactional. Of course they are.
Chrissy
Lee Greenwood, on the other hand.
Brian Green
Yeah. Lee Greenwood is just friends with Donnie Trump. Lee Greenwood doesn't give a shit. Lee Greenwood gets paid every time Donald Trump walks out to that song Cha.
Rachel Maddow
Ching, you say, vote for her. She's. She's so. She's so cool. She's so nice. No, they did it for the money because the devil worshipers. So they sponsor this woman and they liar.
Brian Green
Facts, facts. My missing upper lip said it so.
Rachel Maddow
Facts about her, and they lie about her because they got paid for it. You see, everything is exposed now.
Brian Green
Oh, well, you ripped it wide open. You and all 117views on this video uncovered the truth.
Rachel Maddow
Same thing with those dollars.
Brian Green
These.
Rachel Maddow
These artists want you to buy these things because they're already cursed. You don't see no real Christian walking around with those things and say, bio.
Brian Green
You don't. You don't. I would bet you some of the. Some wives and daughters of some of the biggest mega pastors in the world are all walking around with laboors. Thousand dollars.
Rachel Maddow
You don't see no Catholic people saying, oh, you can't. Let's go to the store. Let's buy these things because they so Catholics. They so Christian. No, if I'm gonna buy something, I'm gonna buy me the cross.
Brian Green
Right?
Rachel Maddow
Right.
Brian Green
This gives me street cred.
Chrissy
That was like cross draw.
Brian Green
Yeah, I don't like the Labubus. I like the Le Jus. That's what I got. The original Jew. Jesus Christ.
Rachel Maddow
By. No. A little devil animal stuff. Animal. I'm not gonna buy that, you know, so.
Brian Green
No one's asking you to buy that. I mean, you are the opposite of the target audience of the. I'm sorry.
Chrissy
Yes.
Brian Green
Yes. Do you understand what I'm saying? You're like, you're like the target audience of those people that make the duck hunting calls Ducks Unlimited. That's your target audience.
Rachel Maddow
All these artists, they don't know Jesus. They just joined the devil's work. They just, they just promoting things that.
Brian Green
You'Re the target audience of every only fans.
Rachel Maddow
That want you to promote. So he could be in your house, he could be in your family, he can bring, he could bring disaster to your home, do these things. Same thing with the television. You look at the TV right and right. Back in the 60s, back in the 50s, 60s and 70s, the biggest thing was TV. You watch, you put the TV on these horror movies, cursing, pornography on TV, right? Getting your mind, getting your eyes, what the Bible says, protect your, your mind, your eyes. Protect your mind, protect your eye, protect your ear. The Bible says that.
Brian Green
That's why I watch my TV with the commercial breaks. Patented technology, blackout glasses. I always watch my TV with blackout glasses.
Rachel Maddow
So now you listen to all these filth Cummings, right? All these Phil coming at you.
Brian Green
What's coming at me? What Phil?
Chrissy
Pornography, horror movies, which you can also view online. And when she's on.
Brian Green
Yeah, you're on. That's right. There's a TV in the background. I guarantee. Joey, Joey dbag's here. I guarantee that he watches tv. Yeah, I can almost guess his favorite station, but I won't say it out loud.
Rachel Maddow
And the devil's working you over. How many people watch horror movie? Horror movie. Horror movies, Horror movie. And then they go out and kill people.
Chrissy
Oh my God.
Brian Green
Wow.
Chrissy
I mean he's really, he's on a roll.
Brian Green
He is on a roll. As are his nose hairs. I just have to say they're, they're on point.
Rachel Maddow
Happens in America, Happens in America all the time now. Today it's not the TV anymore because people are not, they don't have time to watch tv. Now the devil, the iPhone that he's.
Chrissy
Holding up, what does it say?
Brian Green
It says, Bible is our passport to Jesus is our pilot. Heaven is our destination. Notification from only fans. New content from Jenny 2122.
Chrissy
You know that's what it says.
Brian Green
Oh yeah, of course.
Rachel Maddow
That's what the devil is using. Look what I have on my iPhone. The Bible is my passport. Jesus is my pilot. It and Heaven is my destiny. Amen.
Chrissy
Is that his like cross for his phone? Yeah, I mean he's got a phone.
Brian Green
Why are you, where are your blackout glasses? Where are they?
Rachel Maddow
That's what I have on my phone today. The iPhone is replace the tv. People spend hours that's why I've got one.
Brian Green
Yeah, that's why I have one. Replaced my TV and then I got additional TVs and additional iPhones and now I have cameras and microphones. I'm full of the devil and I love it. I love lapping up the filth. I love the filth.
Rachel Maddow
That said, but, but they don't pray. But they want God to bless them. They want God to protect them. But you, you're on Facebook, you're on Instagram all day long and the devil's eating your time and you're getting old and you got nothing to show for it.
Chrissy
Yeah, the other guy is encouraging.
Brian Green
Yeah, he's. He's just making weird noises into the microphone.
Rachel Maddow
Set you up. Yeah, they think God is like a genie or an ATM machine or a bento machine. They think God, it's a spare tire, tire in back of your car. You get a flat, you bring out the tire, fix the flat and then keep going and forget about it. That's what they think God is. God is fed higher and.
Brian Green
And you think God is a judgmental, small, little human like creature upstairs making all kind of judgments here on earth about whether or not you did this, or you check that box, or you pined to him appropriately, or you did or did not not sin in your eyes, which you call sin or break laws of God or whatever it is. You think God is a small, trite little thing like a human being, the smallest of human beings who is mad and angry and vengeful and will give kids cancer for no reason and send you to hell because you didn't just, you know, you didn't show up at church and kneel to the Covenant every 15 minutes. You think God is in a tiny little box. I think God is the opposite. I think God is a huge thing that runs through all of us. And unfortunately that includes the good and it includes the bad. Your version of God is small, mine is big. And fuck you, you shithead. Honestly, these kind of people drive me crazy. They really do. They are the first to point out how non judgmental Jesus Christ was. And we should all follow the laws of Jesus Christ and God. But they are also the first to point out, to judge, to judge and to point out how small that version of heaven is. It only includes a few of you. Well, congratulations. I hope you go to your version of heaven and I'll go to mine. Thanks very much. All right. Cross drop, cost drop. But I do think he makes a point. Labubu is satanistic and you should get it out of your house. You should buy the LA Cuckoos by Chrissy and Brian.
Chrissy
That's probably what he's telling his kids so he doesn't have to spend the money on him.
Brian Green
Yeah, this guy don't have kids. You think he ever, ever got a woman to agree to accept his particulate matter into her? I doubt it.
Chrissy
You never know.
Brian Green
Yeah. Yeah, you do never know. It's usually these kind that have four or five kids. Yeah, well, we'll never know because we, we did another video on this guy. He, he was with a pastor doing a show back in the early 2000s, and he had claimed that, you know, the devil, the devil took him to some place and sodomized him. And oh my God, he's messed up. He's got some problems. But you know what? I hope you are. I hope you are living a life as happy as can be. Just stop yelling at everybody else about what they're doing. Just leave us alone. We're okay over here. We're doing all right. If I'm going to going to hell, I can't go to hell. I'm already here. What are you talking about?
Chrissy
Right?
Brian Green
It's got to be better than this. I saw a very interesting guy do it. He's asked, he's training I AI to tell him about the matrix that is consciousness. And he's making a very compelling argument about how AI is helping him understand. This guy is completely rational. Seems like he's got his head on his shoulders. He's like a astrophysicist or something. And he's got a pretty compelling argument about why we are in a simulation, like a video game, and how consciousness is really the through line of life. Energy is the through line of life.
Chrissy
I believe that.
Brian Green
Yeah. So there you go. I'll share. Please. I'll share his Instagram. It's very compelling. Very, kind of scary, but very compelling.
Chrissy
Yeah.
Brian Green
Anyway. 212-4333 TCB 212433 3TC. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas? We're taking them all. Also, if you'd like to be at a future live recording of the commercial break, drop us a line. Let us know if you're in the, you know, kind of North Georgia area within an hour, hour and a half of the Atlanta area. Let us know at the commercial break on Instagram. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for following. Keep on doing it. Let's get to 10,000 by the end of the year. That would be great. YouTube.com the commercial break and tcb podcast.com for your free sticker. Okay Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.
Chrissy
I think so.
Brian Green
I'll tell you that I love you.
Chrissy
I love you.
Brian Green
Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say goodbye.
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Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break Episode: La CooCoo & Lenny Gaga! Release Date: July 3, 2025
1. Exploring the Incel Community Timestamp: [01:32] – [02:13]
In this segment, Brian Green initiates a discussion about the incel (involuntary celibacy) community, highlighting its misogynistic undertones and the misplaced blame attributed to women for men's lack of romantic success.
2. Introducing Lenny Gaga and a Quirky Encounter Timestamp: [02:21] – [03:21]
The hosts humorously introduce "Lenny Gaga," claiming he is Lady Gaga's brother. This playful interchange showcases their improvisational chemistry and sets a lighthearted tone.
3. Odyssey Studios Visit and Hosting Challenges Timestamp: [03:46] – [05:59]
Brian and Chrissy recount their first in-person experience at Odyssey Studios, detailing the logistics of hosting a guest, Courtney Michelle, an online comedian and influencer. They discuss the challenges of ensuring security and making their guest feel comfortable.
4. Brian's Disney Vacation and Traffic Tangle Timestamp: [05:12] – [18:03]
Brian narrates his tumultuous journey driving to Disney World, encountering heavy traffic typical of Atlanta's highways. His storytelling vividly describes interactions with other drivers, leading to a high-speed chase that culminates in a police stop.
5. The Heroic Rescue on the Disney Dream Timestamp: [37:37] – [46:39]
A riveting story unfolds about a child who fell off the Disney Dream cruise ship and was rescued by her father. Brian and Chrissy delve into the miraculous survival, debunking rumors and emphasizing the father's bravery.
6. The Labubu Controversy: Satanism and Knockoff Dolls Timestamp: [47:09] – [72:50]
The hosts shift to a heated discussion about "Labubus," counterfeit dolls linked to satanic activities. They explore online rumors, debunk false claims, and express frustration over misconceptions surrounding these toys. The conversation intertwines humor with critical commentary on misinformation.
7. Live Advertisement Breaks and Interactive Segments Timestamp: [27:07] – [75:47]
Interspersed throughout the episode are various mock advertisements and promotional segments for sponsors like Squarespace, Chumba Casino, and Rosetta Stone. Additionally, Astrid provides voice-over segments encouraging listener interaction and promoting social media engagement.
8. Concluding Banter and Future Plans Timestamp: [73:22] – [74:22]
As the episode draws to a close, Brian and Chrissy reflect on future content, potential live recordings, and audience engagement strategies. They express enthusiasm for upcoming interviews and encourage listeners to participate.
Notable Quotes:
Brian Green: "I'm not going to bash my head into the steering wheel anymore." [01:37]
Chrissy: "Just get in the car here." [10:13]
Brian Green: "The only thing that allows this girl to survive is her fucking hero of a father making an absolute second by second call that." [43:22]
Chrissy: "And you think God is like a genie or an ATM machine." [67:13]
Conclusion: In La CooCoo & Lenny Gaga!, The Commercial Break hosts Brian Green and Chrissy Hoadley navigate a blend of personal anecdotes, social commentary, and humorous banter. From dissecting the incel community to recounting heroic rescue stories and debunking myths around satanic dolls, the episode offers a rich tapestry of conversations that exemplify the podcast's chaotic and unpolished charm. Notable moments include Brian's dramatic Disney vacation mishap and their spirited debates on contemporary internet phenomena, all delivered with their signature twisted humor.
Listeners can anticipate more engaging content in future episodes, including interviews with notable guests and interactive segments that invite audience participation.
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