The Commercial Break – "Let's Get FERAL"

Episode Date: September 11, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Theme: A hilarious deep-dive into pickup artist culture, alpha male conventions, and the baffling parade of “dating coaches.” Bryan and Krissy dissect the absurdities, tactics, and infighting of the male self-help/manosphere scene—emphasizing humor, ridicule, and skepticism.

Episode Overview

This episode spotlights a particularly outlandish branch of the "manosphere"—the world of alpha male summits and pickup artist conventions, specifically the so-called "21 Convention" and personalities like Zach Bauer. The hosts perform their classic comedic takedown of the advice doled out by dating "experts," explore the culture and collapse of these events, and riff on the often-sleazy, sometimes-dangerous, usually-ineffective techniques aimed at men seeking to "succeed" with women.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Setting Up: The Bizarre World of Alpha Male Conventions

• No Hot Topics: To avoid news getting stale, this episode is intentionally "evergreen."

  • “Even when we recorded the day before, it's already old the next day.” (Brian, 01:48)

• Context on Pickup Artists (POAs):

  • A “POA” or pickup artist tries to teach men how to bed women, not build relationships.
  • The “21 Convention” and its umbrella event, the “21 Summit,” bring together a who’s-who of self-proclaimed alpha males, coaches, and would-be seduction gurus.

• Trump Trading Cards, Crypto, and Crossover Personalities:

  • Discussion of Donald Trump’s digital trading cards leads to the discovery that some people behind these ventures (e.g., Zach Bauer) double as pickup artists and woo-adjacent entrepreneurs.
  • Bauer is linked to “Date Hotter” websites and the alpha male “21 Convention,” further entwining grift and masculinity theater.
  • “He puts his name on it, finds an idea, someone pays him a shitload of money. He puts his name on it.” (Brian, 03:23)

2. What Is the "21 Convention"?

• Mission Statement:
  • “Ultimate alpha male… total buy-in to men rule the world, women don’t, we’re gonna teach you how to be submit.” (Brian, 06:20)
  • Conferences extend to trad wives, fathers, and single men, all told under the banner of "21 Studios."
• Infighting and Event Collapse:
  • 2023’s event was canceled—ostensibly for “family reasons”—but insiders cite ticket sales and in-group drama.
  • Hilarious observation that alpha rivalry was “a lot of intra fighting going on over there, which you wouldn’t expect when there’s 75 alpha males for attention. Who knew?” (Brian, 08:34)

3. Dissecting Pickup Artist Tactics: Zach Bauer’s Speech

a. Moving Past “Openers”

• Old school POAs sell elaborate routines for “opening sets” (approaching women cold in bars).
• New wave critics like Bauer say the “science” is bunk—though their advice is equally odd.
• Quotes:
  • “What they don’t ever tell you, according to some of these new paws, what they don’t tell you…the old guard, they don’t tell you how to actually…how to get them to bounce on your balls.” (Brian, 11:05)
  • “Which is what Zach actually said.” (Chrissy, 11:14)

b. The “F.E.R.A.L.” System [21:14]

• Acronym: Focus, Emotion, Rapport, Arousal, “maybe just picked to spell something.”
• Bauer claims the real secret is not the “pickup line” but drawing a woman’s focus and attention—often by tapping them on the shoulder and silently staring for several seconds.
• “Three seconds is a long fucking time to say nothing after you’ve tapped someone on the shoulder.” (Brian, 41:10)
• “The fact that he had to break it down like this to himself…should tell you everything.” (Brian, 40:46)

c. Absurd Pickup "Techniques"

• Example Openers:
  • “What do you think of guys that wear jean shorts?” (Zach, 22:23)
  • “Where’s the nearest pizza shop?” (Zach, 24:45)
  • Both get thoroughly roasted:
    • “Where is the nearest pizza shop? My iPhone does not have additional information.” (Brian, 25:03)
    • “Where’s the D?” (Chrissy, 25:44)
• The "Tap-Tap-Stare":
  • Tap woman on shoulder, stare meaningfully, don’t say anything for 3+ seconds. Wait for “investment.”
  • “It’s not an intimate moment if you’re at a bar, the girl doesn’t know you, and you’ve literally tapped her on the shoulder.” (Brian, 37:11)

4. Comic Interludes and Skewering the PUA Community

• Bryan and Krissy parody the robotic, formulaic approach to pickup.
  • “Malfunction in penis hard drive. Full erection attained.” (Brian, 24:04)
  • “No head turning. Abort mission. Abort abart.” (Brian, 27:11)
• They speculate that most of the audience for these conventions have never had meaningful conversations with women.
  • “No one's ever had their name asked before. This is a tough crowd.” (Brian, 51:30)

5. Questionable Success Metrics and Audience Reactions

• Emotional Investment:

  • Bauer defines it as “when the girl starts asking you questions about yourself.”
  • Krissy and Brian riff that getting a woman merely not to call security is a PUA “win.” (chrissy: "Don't call security", Brian: "It's a pretty low bar when you say it's a success if your friends don't call the cops.")

• Audience Skepticism:

  • “Anyone ever asked her name before? Anyone?...No one said yes.” (Chrissy & Brian, 51:19)
  • They joke about the PUA crowd as street gangs, referencing “West Side Story”: “You're a Jet. All the way from your first cigarette to your last dying day.” (Brian, 46:18)

6. Critique of the Underlying Attitudes

• The hosts emphasize the weirdness, creepiness, and artificiality of these approaches, aiming for laughs but also highlighting the problematic nature of commodifying human interaction and consent.
• “Is it really, at the end of the day, the right thing to do? Probably not, but lots of people do it.” (Brian, 13:34)
• Real advice? “Just be yourself. Somebody out there is going to like you. You may have to strike out a million times before you get a home run.” (Brian, 13:49)

Memorable Quotes & Notable Moments

"By opening your mouth and making different vocal tones with your tongue in your throat, using your lips to support the vowels, you too can get laid. This is complicated, I know."
—Brian Green, sarcastically mocking PUA "conversation" (52:34)

"Tap him on the shoulder, then give him your opening eyes. Let him qualify you first. I don't know how to make a girl who's not attracted to me attracted to me. But I sure do know how to make a girl who's not attracted to me attracted to me."
—Brian Green, lampooning Bauer’s circular logic (48:04)

"The fact that he had to break it down like this to himself...should tell you everything."
—Brian Green (40:46)

"No, no, no. I don’t need the rape whistle."
—Brian Green, calling out Bauer's "success metric" (49:15)

"We have a technique we call conversation."
—Chrissy Hoadley, deadpan (52:21)

Segment Timestamps

• 00:00–02:30: Show opening banter; why no timely news this episode
• 03:10–05:20: Trump trading cards, crypto, and Zach Bauer’s background
• 06:11–09:30: Origins and structure of the 21 Convention, infighting, event cancellation
• 11:05–15:00: Introduction to “PUA” lingo, the “old guard” vs. new school like Zach Bauer
• 21:14–24:10: The “FERAL” system explained (Farah: Focus, Emotion, Rapport, Arousal)
• 25:06–32:00: Bad icebreaker lines, mocking of robotic pickup tactics
• 34:16–36:33: Breaking down “mystery method” vs. Bauer’s “eyes only” approach
• 39:10–44:10: On “emotional investment” and the dubious metrics for “success”
• 52:10–55:29: “Conversation bait” and further roasting of the so-called methods
• 57:09–58:00: Reflecting on why any of this stuff appeals to real people
• 58:00–end: Closing plugs, live show reminders, meta-humor outro

Conclusion

Throughout the episode, Bryan and Krissy expertly lampoon the pickup artist industry and its shaky foundations—with zany asides, running gags about failing with women, and a consistent thread of “how is this even real?” They highlight the grift and the ongoing drama that underpins these groups, suggesting that authenticity, connection, and basic decency matter far more than silly acronyms or lines. The comedic summary is as potent as ever: the road to love (or just human interaction) is not paved with trickery, but with real talk and maybe a sense of humor.

For more laughs, real advice, and total takedowns of internet weirdos, follow The Commercial Break wherever you get your podcasts—and, if you’re tempted by any $250 ticket “resellers,” just buy direct and keep your cash, as Bryan suggests!