Let's Get FERAL

Summary

The Commercial Break – "Let's Get FERAL"

Episode Date: September 11, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Theme: A hilarious deep-dive into pickup artist culture, alpha male conventions, and the baffling parade of “dating coaches.” Bryan and Krissy dissect the absurdities, tactics, and infighting of the male self-help/manosphere scene—emphasizing humor, ridicule, and skepticism.

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Episode Overview

This episode spotlights a particularly outlandish branch of the "manosphere"—the world of alpha male summits and pickup artist conventions, specifically the so-called "21 Convention" and personalities like Zach Bauer. The hosts perform their classic comedic takedown of the advice doled out by dating "experts," explore the culture and collapse of these events, and riff on the often-sleazy, sometimes-dangerous, usually-ineffective techniques aimed at men seeking to "succeed" with women.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Setting Up: The Bizarre World of Alpha Male Conventions

• No Hot Topics: To avoid news getting stale, this episode is intentionally "evergreen."

  • “Even when we recorded the day before, it's already old the next day.” (Brian, 01:48)

• Context on Pickup Artists (POAs):

  • A “POA” or pickup artist tries to teach men how to bed women, not build relationships.
  • The “21 Convention” and its umbrella event, the “21 Summit,” bring together a who’s-who of self-proclaimed alpha males, coaches, and would-be seduction gurus.

• Trump Trading Cards, Crypto, and Crossover Personalities:

  • Discussion of Donald Trump’s digital trading cards leads to the discovery that some people behind these ventures (e.g., Zach Bauer) double as pickup artists and woo-adjacent entrepreneurs.
  • Bauer is linked to “Date Hotter” websites and the alpha male “21 Convention,” further entwining grift and masculinity theater.
  • “He puts his name on it, finds an idea, someone pays him a shitload of money. He puts his name on it.” (Brian, 03:23)

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2. What Is the "21 Convention"?

• Mission Statement:
  • “Ultimate alpha male… total buy-in to men rule the world, women don’t, we’re gonna teach you how to be submit.” (Brian, 06:20)
  • Conferences extend to trad wives, fathers, and single men, all told under the banner of "21 Studios."
• Infighting and Event Collapse:
  • 2023’s event was canceled—ostensibly for “family reasons”—but insiders cite ticket sales and in-group drama.
  • Hilarious observation that alpha rivalry was “a lot of intra fighting going on over there, which you wouldn’t expect when there’s 75 alpha males for attention. Who knew?” (Brian, 08:34)

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3. Dissecting Pickup Artist Tactics: Zach Bauer’s Speech

a. Moving Past “Openers”

• Old school POAs sell elaborate routines for “opening sets” (approaching women cold in bars).
• New wave critics like Bauer say the “science” is bunk—though their advice is equally odd.
• Quotes:
  • “What they don’t ever tell you, according to some of these new paws, what they don’t tell you…the old guard, they don’t tell you how to actually…how to get them to bounce on your balls.” (Brian, 11:05)
  • “Which is what Zach actually said.” (Chrissy, 11:14)

b. The “F.E.R.A.L.” System [21:14]

• Acronym: Focus, Emotion, Rapport, Arousal, “maybe just picked to spell something.”
• Bauer claims the real secret is not the “pickup line” but drawing a woman’s focus and attention—often by tapping them on the shoulder and silently staring for several seconds.
• “Three seconds is a long fucking time to say nothing after you’ve tapped someone on the shoulder.” (Brian, 41:10)
• “The fact that he had to break it down like this to himself…should tell you everything.” (Brian, 40:46)

c. Absurd Pickup "Techniques"

• Example Openers:
  • “What do you think of guys that wear jean shorts?” (Zach, 22:23)
  • “Where’s the nearest pizza shop?” (Zach, 24:45)
  • Both get thoroughly roasted:
    • “Where is the nearest pizza shop? My iPhone does not have additional information.” (Brian, 25:03)
    • “Where’s the D?” (Chrissy, 25:44)
• The "Tap-Tap-Stare":
  • Tap woman on shoulder, stare meaningfully, don’t say anything for 3+ seconds. Wait for “investment.”
  • “It’s not an intimate moment if you’re at a bar, the girl doesn’t know you, and you’ve literally tapped her on the shoulder.” (Brian, 37:11)

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4. Comic Interludes and Skewering the PUA Community

• Bryan and Krissy parody the robotic, formulaic approach to pickup.
  • “Malfunction in penis hard drive. Full erection attained.” (Brian, 24:04)
  • “No head turning. Abort mission. Abort abart.” (Brian, 27:11)
• They speculate that most of the audience for these conventions have never had meaningful conversations with women.
  • “No one's ever had their name asked before. This is a tough crowd.” (Brian, 51:30)

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5. Questionable Success Metrics and Audience Reactions

• Emotional Investment:

  • Bauer defines it as “when the girl starts asking you questions about yourself.”
  • Krissy and Brian riff that getting a woman merely not to call security is a PUA “win.” (chrissy: "Don't call security", Brian: "It's a pretty low bar when you say it's a success if your friends don't call the cops.")

• Audience Skepticism:

  • “Anyone ever asked her name before? Anyone?...No one said yes.” (Chrissy & Brian, 51:19)
  • They joke about the PUA crowd as street gangs, referencing “West Side Story”: “You're a Jet. All the way from your first cigarette to your last dying day.” (Brian, 46:18)

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6. Critique of the Underlying Attitudes

• The hosts emphasize the weirdness, creepiness, and artificiality of these approaches, aiming for laughs but also highlighting the problematic nature of commodifying human interaction and consent.
• “Is it really, at the end of the day, the right thing to do? Probably not, but lots of people do it.” (Brian, 13:34)
• Real advice? “Just be yourself. Somebody out there is going to like you. You may have to strike out a million times before you get a home run.” (Brian, 13:49)

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Memorable Quotes & Notable Moments

"By opening your mouth and making different vocal tones with your tongue in your throat, using your lips to support the vowels, you too can get laid. This is complicated, I know."
—Brian Green, sarcastically mocking PUA "conversation" (52:34)

"Tap him on the shoulder, then give him your opening eyes. Let him qualify you first. I don't know how to make a girl who's not attracted to me attracted to me. But I sure do know how to make a girl who's not attracted to me attracted to me."
—Brian Green, lampooning Bauer’s circular logic (48:04)

"The fact that he had to break it down like this to himself...should tell you everything."
—Brian Green (40:46)

"No, no, no. I don’t need the rape whistle."
—Brian Green, calling out Bauer's "success metric" (49:15)

"We have a technique we call conversation."
—Chrissy Hoadley, deadpan (52:21)

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Segment Timestamps

• 00:00–02:30: Show opening banter; why no timely news this episode
• 03:10–05:20: Trump trading cards, crypto, and Zach Bauer’s background
• 06:11–09:30: Origins and structure of the 21 Convention, infighting, event cancellation
• 11:05–15:00: Introduction to “PUA” lingo, the “old guard” vs. new school like Zach Bauer
• 21:14–24:10: The “FERAL” system explained (Farah: Focus, Emotion, Rapport, Arousal)
• 25:06–32:00: Bad icebreaker lines, mocking of robotic pickup tactics
• 34:16–36:33: Breaking down “mystery method” vs. Bauer’s “eyes only” approach
• 39:10–44:10: On “emotional investment” and the dubious metrics for “success”
• 52:10–55:29: “Conversation bait” and further roasting of the so-called methods
• 57:09–58:00: Reflecting on why any of this stuff appeals to real people
• 58:00–end: Closing plugs, live show reminders, meta-humor outro

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Conclusion

Throughout the episode, Bryan and Krissy expertly lampoon the pickup artist industry and its shaky foundations—with zany asides, running gags about failing with women, and a consistent thread of “how is this even real?” They highlight the grift and the ongoing drama that underpins these groups, suggesting that authenticity, connection, and basic decency matter far more than silly acronyms or lines. The comedic summary is as potent as ever: the road to love (or just human interaction) is not paved with trickery, but with real talk and maybe a sense of humor.

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For more laughs, real advice, and total takedowns of internet weirdos, follow The Commercial Break wherever you get your podcasts—and, if you’re tempted by any $250 ticket “resellers,” just buy direct and keep your cash, as Bryan suggests!

Transcript

[Brian Green]

Other planets have fall equinoxes. How do they celebrate on the equini On Uranus? They go nuts. They. On this episode of the commercial break.

[Chrissy]

We have a technique we call conversation.

[Brian Green]

We have a technique we call talking. Now get out your notepads.

[Chrissy]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

I'm about to blow your mind. By opening your mouth and making different vocal tones with your tongue in your throat, using your lips to support the vowels, you too can get laid. This is complicated. I know.

[Chrissy]

Technique.

[Zach Bauer]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Evan Demonto, Chris and Joy Ho to you, Chris, and best of you out there in the podcast universe, Evan Dando and the Dando. Evan and the Dandos. So anyway, when I was in that band, I was. Chrissy and I were just talking about the Lemon Heads. You'll hear this in an upcoming episode. Why we were doing that, but we were talking about the Lemonheads, and I was saying that the lead singer of that band, his name is Evan Dando. And so when I was in 33p, there was another high school band, a rivalry going on, if you don't mind. And they were called Evan and the Dandos. And I was like such a better name than 30 43p. Why didn't I think of Evan and the Dandos? But now I realize that neither of us had a shot. It didn't matter. We, we could have been called, I don't know, Led Zeppelin for all I care. It would have never happened. Anyway, thanks for joining us here on the show. Chrissy and I, in preparation for our big live shows at the end of the month, we may be recording these a little bit ahead of time. So we're leaning on a little bit of content that won't go stale by the time we actually. You actually hear it. So in no Hot Topics. No Hot Topics. We're keeping saying off Hot Topics because the way that news flies these days, even when we recorded the day before, it's already old the next day. I always get so nervous when we talk about something on the news that day.

[Zach Bauer]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Because I know that by the next day, it's not even going to be worthwhile. It's just not. So. But we have a good one for you because here's the thing. Last Friday, Chrissy and I, for the first time, probably in the history, maybe not in the history of the commercial break, but in a long time, talked about Donald Trump and we were talking about his new Digital trading cards. It's good for the kids, it's good for the family. Bitcoin. Bitcoin. Why separate those two words? I don't know. It's called bitcoin, not bitcoin. And we were talking about digital trading cards and his new pitch to buy these digital trading cards and for free.

[Chrissy]

By the way, we wanted to reiterate that we would be making fun of anybody doing these.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, it's not just about Trump. I mean, it is kind of about Trump, but it's about anybody who is doing digital trading cards for themselves.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

And not, not even like. It's not even like a baseball card where, you know, the guy's holding the bat in a fake pose. He's on a lion with a shield and an American flag. I mean, come on, what the fuck is going on? Anyway, so I said, who's behind this? Because, you know, Trump doesn't know the first fucking thing about computers. He does. It supposedly doesn't even email. I mean, he doesn't even email. So the only thing that he knows how to do is do those truths, which is kind of ironic. But any he. What I found out by doing a little bit of investigation is that they're all trying to now get in big on crypto by making this trading platform. And his son Baron wrote this white paper with other guys about how to do this trading platform in efts and all this other stuff. Well, some of the geniuses behind this who are pulling the strings because, you know, Trump just puts his name on it. That's his whole gig. He puts his name on it, finds an idea, someone pays him a shitload of money. He. He puts his name on it. So who is, who are the people who are actually behind this whole new NFT EFT altcoin platform that they're going to put together. Well, one of the guys. What was his name again? Zach Bauer.

[Chrissy]

Zach Bauer.

[Brian Green]

Zach Bauer is on the corporate documents. And he's on the corporate documents, but he's not. That's not. His only company is. One of his companies is how to Date more hotties or something like that. Date more hotties.com or date hotter.com or something. He's actually a Pois. He's a pickup artist. And he has been at one of our favorite conventions, like, you know, alpha male conventions that we've been reviewing some of these guys up on stage for a long time. The 21 convention. So then Chrissy and I went further down the rabbit hole in between Friday and today or in between that episode and this episode, we went further down the rabbit hole and decided to see if there was a 21 convention upcoming that maybe we could somehow see somebody in the infiltrate or at least I.

[Chrissy]

Would show up to. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And get some good footage.

[Chrissy]

See what kind of lines they're trying to pitch.

[Brian Green]

You would just be like. You'd be like an electric lamp to mosquitoes. Chrissy. I swear to God. I mean we'd have to get security with you. I wouldn't trust you just going down there by yourself. I'd be. I have to be a plant. Of course I probably look like one of the guys who would show up. So pause. For those of you that don't know, I'm sure you do. If you listen to the show at all is a pickup artist or a dating coach or an alpha male coach.

[Zach Bauer]

Coach.

[Brian Green]

Guys that are out there teaching other gentlemen how to pick up women for the specific purpose of bedding them. This is not relationship advice. This is how do you.

[Chrissy]

Bouncing them on your.

[Brian Green]

Bouncing them on your dick. Which is a quote from Zach.

[Chrissy]

Yes, that's exactly what he said.

[Brian Green]

So the 21 convention has been going on for years. Chrissy and I figured out that the 21 convention is actually an umbrella event of something called the 21 Summit. Is it something like that.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Which is all things alpha male.

[Chrissy]

21 Studios from 2121 Studios person.

[Brian Green]

And they've got a. They've got a big convention. They have three different conferences going on around the same time. One for women, one for fathers and one for men. One for fathers. It is the ultimate alpha male. I mean they make no bones about who they are. Yeah, you got to give them props on this. They tell you on the nose exactly what you're going to get. It is alpha male trad wife, total buy in to men rule the world, women don't. We're going to teach you how to be submit. Submit. That's right. You are in power, I am in control. All that kind of stuff. Now there's a certain segment of the population that certainly buys into this. There's probably a big segment of the population that buys into this. Bigger than I'd like to think, Chrissy, actually. And apparently in 2023 they ran into a hiccup. They had to cancel their 21 summit because of poor ticket sales. And the gentleman who has run this for the last 17 or 18 years, he put out a statement.

[Chrissy]

His name, his name is Anthony Dream.

[Brian Green]

Anthony Dream Johnson. Anthony the Dream John Johnson. I mean you couldn't make this Shit up. You can't make this shit up. You want to read that poster or should I?

[Chrissy]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

Well, I mean the highlights. I don't need to hear the whole thing.

[Chrissy]

Well, yeah, he's the first president of the Manosphere, just so you know that he said. Well, he's going in.

[Brian Green]

I have it.

[Chrissy]

I mean, he's just. It's awful. He's just saying that he. It was his decision to cancel. Cancel it because of family stuff and they had a baby and it was a lot to keep up with and try and juggle it all. But we found a.

[Brian Green]

A rift in the group because some of the guys that were supposed to speak in this did some kind of podcast, Vodcast or. The morning that it got canceled, they went on in the afternoon to talk about Anthony.

[Chrissy]

And that one guy said that he had mental issues or a lot. Lost it.

[Brian Green]

He had lost the plot and he was tearing down relationships. There's apparently a lot of intra fighting going on over there, which you wouldn't expect when there's 75 alpha males for attention. Who knew? Who knew?

[Chrissy]

I can't believe it's all hug and love.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You didn't think that Anthony would just be the brother who would just like, you know, hand the microphone and put the spotlight on somebody else. I mean, come on, it's like, I don't know, there's so many tropes and cliches and all this and listen, if that's how you feel, that's how you feel and that's who you are. That's who you are. And God bless you, I happen to think differently. That doesn't mean that I dislike you or I hate you. That just means that I think differently. I'm just. I'm just too. I'm just too soft. That's it. Why am I so soft in the middle now? I'm so soft in the middle now I get a home. Remember that song with Chevy Chase?

[Zach Bauer]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Why are we going on a guard all of a sudden? We're on Simon and Garfield. I know. For two days. Yeah. If you be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal. You can come to 21 Studios, sit around and trad wife with your favorite gal. Favorite gal. So anyway, Zach was on our last show. We had. We were.

[Chrissy]

He was giving us. He had come up with the four elements.

[Brian Green]

The four elements of. I gotta give Zach credit for one thing. He gets on stage now. This is a very popular tone to take right now in the POI community as I've trolled around the Internet is that the old pickup artists like mystery and you know, Lion, Adam Lyons and these guys and, and to some degree like John Anthony Lifestyle, they are teaching you a scientific method of how to open a set, quote unquote. And opening a set means to make you look more attractive to a woman in a cold environment. Like you walk into a bar and you find you bring some hot friends with you so that that girl. And you know they're kissing all over you so that some other girl at the bar. Yes, you're attracted in some way, you.

[Chrissy]

Bring hot girls with you or something.

[Brian Green]

Back when the woolly mammoths were alive.

[Chrissy]

Say you were. You say you dated a stripper and he stole your car.

[Brian Green]

Maserati make up stories that make sound like you're a desirable man in some way, shape or form like opening the set. But what they don't ever tell you, according to some of these new paws, what they don't tell you, the old guard, they don't tell you how to actually get.

[Chrissy]

How to get the bounce.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. How to get them to bounce on your balls. Which is what Zach actually said. What they don't say is how to get him to bounce on your dick.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Oh, God. Which, you know, whatever. Anyway, I don't even know what to say, so. But okay, so he's taken a new approach. He's literally skewering the other speakers at the convention. He's like talking shit about them on stage. So I'm giving Zach just a little bit of credit for that. Doesn't mean I agree with anything he's saying. It just means that at least he's trying to pull the covers back a little bit. That this whole scientific method to success in sex is bullshit because it is you. I don't think there is, in my opinion. I'm sure that under certain circumstances. Listen, even a blind squirrel gets a nut if you wait long enough, you know, pun intended. So I'm sure that under certain circumstances somebody has used one of these methods and found some success with it. But the truth is, is that I think maybe humans in general, not even just women, humans in general are smart enough to sniff out when they're being manipulated. And if they're not smart enough to sniff out when they're being manipulated, is that really like long term successful relationship goals? If you're looking to fed someone from the night for the night. Okay, I get it. You're going to be sneaky and sleazy and figure it out, you know, how I manipulate this person into bed. But Is it really, at the end of the day, the right thing to do? Probably not, but lots of people do it. I mean, it's, it's not a crime to, you know, make up a story and to get someone that's more attracted to you. It's just a kind of a dumb way to go about things. Yeah. And I would think that with all the difficulties in dating these days, like how very difficult it is to have just like normal social interactions person to person, let alone actual dates and the ghosting and Tinder and Flinder and Bumblebee and Bumble talks and whatever the is going on with all of that stuff. Isn't it hard a fucking enough without having to memorize algebraic formulas for getting a girl to your bedroom? That's my opinion. Like, just be yourself at the end of the day, be yourself. Somebody out there is going to like you. You may have to strike out a million times before you get a home run. But take it from a guy who knows, right? Rejection is part of the game. Do you? I literally, I literally had to steal a woman from Venezuela in order to get married. Okay, all right. That was not an easy task because she's a smart one. I had to convince her she was going to come here and be in the lap of luxury. And now she's begging for out. But I keep saying the children. But what about the children? I don't give a shit. Taking the kids. Life under Maduro was better than this.

[Chrissy]

You always have parents.

[Brian Green]

I'd rather live in communist China. My mom willing to buy my plane tickets today. So since this was so much fun on Friday and because we have done a little bit of additional homework and now we have some additional context to all of this, I thought it would be a crime to not get into the meat and potatoes of this guy's speech because we really just scratched the surface. This whole thing is like 50 minutes long. We're not gonna go through all 50 minutes of it.

[Chrissy]

His short speech is now long.

[Brian Green]

That's right. He got up there and he said, I know it's the end of the day and everybody's tired, so I'm not going to, I'm not going to keep you here too long. And then he keeps referring to like he's, he'll be like, I'm going to get into this an hour number three. And I'm like, he's just not the most charismatic person in the world. But Chrissy and I will try to help you pop it along. So let's do this though, because we do have to pay some bills or my wife really will leave me. Chrissy too. So let's do this. Let's take a short break and then. Oh, let me mention this before we go to break because this is. I think it's prescient. It. I feel like this is something we should say. There are jokester brokesters out there on the web who are now trying to sell TCB live tickets for like 60x. The actual price for 250. They went from like 70 to 140 to 180 and now $260 is what I'm seeing on some of these broker sites.

[Chrissy]

That's crazy.

[Brian Green]

If you choose to use a broker site because you have a friend at the broker business and you want to keep their their mortgage paid. Cool. Otherwise you can get tickets by going in the show notes to our live shows. You do not. And this will take you right straight to the website where you can buy the tickets at face value. I promise you there are still tickets available. As far as I know, today there are still tickets available. And if they're not, then I guess you're gonna have to go to a broker site if you really want to go. But. But don't pay $250. Go to the website of the venue. Dania Improv, Orlando Funny Bone. Use the links in our show notes on our website on our Instagram. Or just go to the venue site, the actual venue site itself, the Orlando Funny Bone Dania Improv and buy the tickets there. I swear to God they are dirt cheap. And we kept them that way because we know the value. We' to the table. It's not that great. So paying 250 doesn't make any sense. You're only making somebody else richer. We get none of that. We have no idea who's doing this. This is our first foray into live. I mean this isn't our first foray into live events in life. It's the commercial breaks first. Live events in general. So we have no idea what these shenanigans are. But they are not 250 or 60 or $70. Whatever they're being sold for, don't pay that. Just go straight to the website. If to sit in the back of the room. Don't worry about it. There's small venues. You'll get to see us. We'll all come and say hello. Actually, I plan on having an Uber waiting and warm at the end of the night. So in case you want to ask for your 40 bucks back we can jet out of there if you. I want. I'm going to have the Uber, because if somebody does pay 250, I don't want to get killed at the end of the night. All right, Zach Bauer. More on him in just a few minutes. Let's say pay some bills and we'll be back.

[Christina]

We're not a real podcast if we're not plugging our Instagram, right? That's right, honey. So follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. And don't you forget TikTok CB podcast, so you can see Brian and Chrissy on your homepage every day, which I know you're just simply desperate for. And if you want to see us in person, guess what? You finally can, because we're coming to Florida, because only Florida would let TCB come there. Just kidding. Kind of. You can come see us at Daniel beach improv on Tuesday, September 24, and at the Funnybone Orlando on Wednesday, September 25. Yeah, I know you want to come to both days. That's right. Anyway, the links to both of those are in our show notes, so go get them, get your tickets, and then tell us that you're coming by Texting us at 212-433-3822. And if there's anything else you need from us, I am sure you can find it on our website, tcbpodcast.com live laugh love. Bye.

[Brian Green]

All right, back here with our good friend Zach Bauer. The 21 convention that was unfortunately canceled last year. And I guess that means they're not having one this year also. Yeah, but tickets are still available. If you'd like to go last year to the one that was canceled, I'm sure they'll take your $3,000. $3,000?

[Chrissy]

Is that how much it was?

[Brian Green]

VIP tickets? Yeah. 3,000 VIP. Yeah, that's. That is not the price of a commercial break ticket in Damia Improv. I'll tell you that.

[Zach Bauer]

I'm not looking for what you like, what you guys are probably like, think I'm looking for.

[Brian Green]

Right?

[Zach Bauer]

I'm not looking to get a positive reaction from her. I'm not looking to get her laughing.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, me neither. I'm not gonna get instant rejection.

[Chrissy]

I'm not looking for a positive reaction.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'm. Make her laugh. Go yourself. Exactly. Now you're on. Now we're on to something. Let's sit down. You wanna. Gotta buy you a beer.

[Zach Bauer]

The only thing. And this is the first step of what I'm gonna give you, which is our Farah system, which is Basically like ferret system.

[Brian Green]

I think we. I think this is like the last part that we did on Friday. The VERA system or the thera system?

[Chrissy]

Theraflu.

[Brian Green]

Okay, I feel like I need some therapy is what I feel like I need. I have to listen to this asshole.

[Zach Bauer]

Is that Rob and I are doing right now. This was basically what we learned we were doing after watching about 100 or so hours of infield footage of ourselves.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

100 hours infield footage. This is where we left off.

[Chrissy]

How were they getting the footage for one? I mean, were they like hidden camera, body cam?

[Brian Green]

Gotta assume that.

[Chrissy]

Glasses, you know, camera and the glasses, by the way. And then they're analyzing it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, then they're analyzing it, by the way. I went into Starbucks the other day and for the third day in a row I saw a dude who was just like laughing hysterically at him, like himself. He had the apple goggles on, those apple things on and he had two computer screens open. Looked like the kind of guy who got in early on the technology, if you know what I'm saying. And he was having a full on conversation, I don't know with who, maybe somebody he was talking to.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But he was like, yeah, it was the creepiest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I don't want that to be our future. I don't want our future with everybody with big helmets on their heads.

[Chrissy]

I know.

[Brian Green]

Laughing hysterically at themselves. But I can see Zach Bauer being out in the field with one of those.

[Zach Bauer]

Something very different than what we even thought we were doing two years ago. And what we're doing. I'll give you a quick rundown. Farah stands for focus.

[Chrissy]

Oh, you're right. Farah.

[Brian Green]

Farah, yeah. Focus, emotion, rejection, attention, poor.

[Zach Bauer]

And arousal.

[Brian Green]

Rapport and a route. Focus, emotion, rapport and arousal. Did they just put those four words together? Because it's says something like you could spell something with their first letter?

[Chrissy]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

Okay, let's follow him.

[Zach Bauer]

Now, if you notice, there's nothing about opening, there's nothing about attraction, there's nothing about escalating. None of that. Okay? And the reason is this, because when I go up to a girl and I'm trying to, you know, build some sort of a dynamic that's going to let me move it towards sex. I'm not trying to open her. I don't want to spend my time opening.

[Brian Green]

I've got news for you. I don't know if you've taken an anatomy class lately, but eventually you're going to have to open her. Oh, Lord.

[Zach Bauer]

That's a big waste of my time. Who here has, like, a really good opener? Okay, let's hear your. Let's hear a good opener.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, let's hear it.

[Zach Bauer]

Okay, this does sound like a good opener. What do you think of guys who wear jean shorts? Okay.

[Chrissy]

Why do you think some guys wear jeans?

[Brian Green]

What do you think of guys that wear jean shorts? That's your opener? That's your opener. What do you think of guys who wear jorts? Works every time. Most of the time. It works every time.

[Zach Bauer]

So where does that lead to? Just out of curiosity, Just tell me where that's going to.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'm interested to hear this answer, too.

[Zach Bauer]

Basically gonna lead to most likely her. Her laugh. Even saying that guys wearing jean shorts are.

[Brian Green]

No.

[Zach Bauer]

No. Okay. That's what happened in that instance. Okay, so basically, like.

[Brian Green]

Humans, welcome to Earth. What do you think? Oh, guys. That were. George. I got.

[Zach Bauer]

I got.

[Brian Green]

What? It worked in that instance.

[Chrissy]

Instance, because I guess the girl. He said that the girl laughed and said it was a no. No.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Said it was a no. No. So where do you go after that? Thank you. Goodbye. Desired reaction achieved. Desired reaction achieved. Level two, unlocked. Bye. Bye. Opening set successful. Refer to manual.

[Chrissy]

For the next thing to say.

[Brian Green]

Malfunction in penis hard drive. Full erection attained. Pre ejaculate in my tidy whities. Run away.

[Zach Bauer]

That's like. Does anyone have. Else have any other openers that they like that they think are good openers?

[Brian Green]

Does anybody else have a genius way of talking to women? They're doing their. Your presentation for them. What's going on here, bud? It's lazy. One I like to use is when I come up and ask an indirect.

[Zach Bauer]

Question, like, hey, where's the nearest pizza shop?

[Brian Green]

And right when she starts talking. Where is the nearest pizza shop? My iPhone does not have additional information.

[Chrissy]

Where is the nearest pizza shop?

[Brian Green]

Have lost Internet communications with my eyeglasses. And I don't mean eyeglasses. I mean eye glasses. You stop her and say, oh, wait, stop. Look, I really didn't come up to ask you where the nearest pizza shop is. I'm Rodney. I just wanted to say hi to you.

[Zach Bauer]

Okay, Rodney.

[Brian Green]

Full clitoral stimulation achieved. I got her with the Rodney line. I'm Rodney.

[Chrissy]

Where's the D?

[Brian Green]

Change that name to Rod because Rodney just sense danger field. I think it's a no. No to be called Rodney. Second of all, What?

[Chrissy]

No?

[Brian Green]

Where's the nearest pizza shop? I'm sorry. I lied. I don't really. Yeah, just Kidding. I got that information on my iPhone. I'm Rodney. I also have that information on my iPhone. I'm allergic to bees. I've got my EpiPen with me just in case something happens.

[Zach Bauer]

So basically, like, you know, both of those are fine. The thing is.

[Brian Green]

Don't lie to him, Zach. Tell them lies.

[Chrissy]

They're fine.

[Brian Green]

They're fine. They're okay.

[Zach Bauer]

We really found. When we started going out and getting really, really strong reactions.

[Chrissy]

Raw footage.

[Brian Green]

Is that when we got the raw footage? What we found out is that we could bare back anybody into an opening set. Getting them to open, actually open was much harder.

[Zach Bauer]

None of this, like, none of the openers that you've ever read are gonna work if she's not looking at you and she's not listening to you, right?

[Chrissy]

Well, yes, that's correct.

[Brian Green]

No eye contact. Abort mission. Abort mission. I can just see some guy, like, talking at the side of a girl's head. Where is the name?

[Chrissy]

Are you a female?

[Brian Green]

Yes. Where can I buy a T shirt? No head turning. Abort mission. Abort abart.

[Zach Bauer]

Right? I mean, like, you can walk up to a girl and you could say that to her, but if she's not looking at you, she has her back to you. It's not going anywhere, right?

[Brian Green]

Where can I buy a calzone? Turn around, please. I'd like to ask your hair a question. Oh, my God. You know where the nearest bagel shop is? I find it's much easier to talk to your hair. I'm practicing my opening.

[Zach Bauer]

I know that this sounds obvious, but, you know, this. This goes a lot further. I mean, we have students every single weekend who I see, they walk up to girls and they say, hey, you're cute. I wanted to meet you. Or, like, you know, to the back of her head. Yeah.

[Chrissy]

I see it every weekend.

[Brian Green]

Me and my reproductive machinery find you very suitable. I am pitching a tent.

[Chrissy]

This is amazing.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. I keep. We haven't been through a minute of this. It's too funny. It's too good.

[Zach Bauer]

Whatever. You know, whatever. Some kind of funny conversation. And they're saying it too soft. They're saying it without getting the girl looking at them, and they're saying it without the girl's full attention. Okay.

[Brian Green]

Who is talking to someone without their full attention or looking. Not looking. What?

[Chrissy]

I'm picturing it with, like, a little small group of guys out at a bar or something. He's like, okay, now go. Go. Show me what you've got.

[Brian Green]

Hello.

[Chrissy]

And then come and just start talking.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Just talking, like, in the middle of a bar. Just, like, head going everywhere. Hello, attractive females of earth. Would you like to make eye contact with. Pupil malfunction on behalf of females, return to layer, Return to base before recharging with other. With other, like, kind.

[Zach Bauer]

Okay, now, one of the things that's so important, you hear all the time, people are talking about eye contact, right? Like, oh, it's important to have good eye contact. You got to have good eye contact. Well, why? The reason that it's really important to get good eye contact is because, I mean, you guys are looking at me right now. Like, I see all of you guys. I have your full attention, except Nick in the back, who's kind of dazing.

[Chrissy]

Off Nick and Rodney back there.

[Brian Green]

Nick, I see you snacking off, bro. What up? You got that risk? What's up, dude? Nick, we're gonna hit that purple purple later. Hey, man, do me a favor. Go get me some more of that hard seltzer. You got a hard seltzer on you? No. All right, talk later.

[Zach Bauer]

Seriously, though, like, you guys are looking at me right now. I have your full attention. So the first thing that I want to do and that you guys should be trying to do.

[Chrissy]

Well, that gives you an idea, too, of the size of this audience.

[Brian Green]

Yes. If he can point out Nick in the middle. In the middle. He's in the middle. He's in the back. Basically, if you can hear everybody through his microphone, the audience is not that big.

[Zach Bauer]

Focusing on. Begin a conversation with a girl, open a girl, whatever it might be. The first thing that you guys need to focus and act like, you know, actually go out and consciously do is get a girl's full attention. You need to get her full focus on you. Okay, does anybody have any questions about why this is different?

[Brian Green]

No, I don't have any questions about basic human interaction. I'm sorry, I don't. I mean, by the way, I know that there are neurodivergent people who absolutely have a hard time with this, and so I want to be careful about this. But generally speaking, when someone is paying attention to you, they are looking at you. At least looking at you or around you, they're not looking to the other.

[Zach Bauer]

Direction, going up and opening. Okay.

[Chrissy]

Oh, he.

[Brian Green]

Oh, there is a question.

[Chrissy]

Can you explain eye contact?

[Brian Green]

When you say, get her full focus.

[Chrissy]

What do you mean by.

[Brian Green]

Can you explain? Can you explain full focus? If she is speaking on a telephonic speaker conference call, is that considered full focus? Well, I guess when you say, get her full focus on You. I keep thinking of, you know that show I saw on mtv, the Pickup Artist, where Mystery would go up to the. To the bar next to the lady and he would just kind of look away and say something to her and then just keep walking.

[Zach Bauer]

See, that's. That's.

[Brian Green]

Mystery literally said he had pussy falling from the sky in Austin, Texas.

[Chrissy]

He did.

[Brian Green]

Mystery is full. Mystery is the ultimate. He's the first. He's the OG bullshitter about this point.

[Zach Bauer]

That's exactly what I'm talking about not doing. That's the kind of stuff that was getting Rob and i0 girls.

[Chrissy]

I mean, what were they doing anyways? Breezing by. Hey.

[Brian Green]

And then walking away, he would stand up. I remember this show. I do remember the show because I think I reviewed it hoping that we could use some of the clips. But a lot of them were very visual and we couldn't. But I also remember it being on TV. This is years ago, maybe 15 years ago now. But Mystery had this show. I don't think it was on MTV. I think. I actually think it was on VH1 and it was called Mystery, the Art of Picking Up Seduction or something like that. But one of his whole things was, is that you would walk into a room with something noticeable about you. That's why he's wearing those dumb hats, right? Walk into a room with other women around you being attracted. And then you would stand at a bar where a guy, a couple of single women were, and you would just like kind of look at them, give them the head nod, and then turn away. And it's like, that's. How are you picking up a girl if you're not even talking to her? It doesn't make any sense, but it was all this build up. It was like this dramatic, you know, play that he was doing, like this whole dance around the bar that he was doing.

[Chrissy]

It was a stupid dance around.

[Brian Green]

It was so stupid. And by the way, There were like 21 different cameras in the bar. It was clearly just a studio bar.

[Zach Bauer]

We'd walk up to a girl at a bar, we'd say something to her, we'd walk away, and then we'd be nowhere near her, you know, and then girls like lost for forever. Right? So what I'm saying is what I'm talking about and something that if any. I don't know if any of you are familiar with any of, like any of our infield footage, but one of.

[Brian Green]

The things that infield. Where is this infield footage? I need to see it now. Zach, send it to me. Bro, I know you're in the crypto world now and you want to forget these days, but. But send it to me and I'll make sure the legacy stays alive. That's right.

[Zach Bauer]

We hear a lot about our infield footage, is that we work really fast and that we're really, really aggressive. And the fact is, is that I don't even see it that way. The way that I see it is that we are just doing things that are so different from what everyone else is doing right now that it's just like they don't see what we're doing right. And what we're doing.

[Brian Green]

I have this whole thing where we are literally changing the game so much that no one understands what game we're playing, not even us. We work so fast and furious. We hand out business cards.

[Chrissy]

That's an aggressive.

[Brian Green]

Have you. Have you guys heard of business cards? That's our next model. I put them on the bar before the bar opens and it says, wanna call Zach?

[Chrissy]

Yeah, wanna bounce?

[Brian Green]

You want to get it from the back? The. I'm your man, Zach. Here's my phone. Number.

[Zach Bauer]

Is. We're coming up. We're tapping girls on the shoulder, turning, like, waiting for them to turn around, locking eyes with them and. And not saying anything.

[Brian Green]

And scaring the holy fuck out of them not saying anything.

[Chrissy]

Hey, you.

[Brian Green]

Hey you. Stare.

[Chrissy]

Look into my eyes.

[Brian Green]

Look into my eyes. Deep into my eyes. Sir, you're under arrest. Sir, come with me. But wait, I was opening a set, bro. That's my first set, bro. Damn.

[Zach Bauer]

Anything? Because the fact is, is that you don't want to say anything. Nothing, not an opener about jean shorts, not anything about a pizza place until you have this girl, basically.

[Brian Green]

Well, when you say it like that, it sounds stupid, but it worked for me.

[Chrissy]

That's why I'm here.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's why I'm here again.

[Zach Bauer]

To say what? What do you want? You know, because it's that expectation, it's that like that pause, that quiet that, you know, that moment that you guys share before you say anything that's gonna really begin this interaction on an emotional and sexual level.

[Brian Green]

You are in the Swiss Alps on a bare skin rug with a bottle of champagne next to a warm fire. It's not an intimate moment. If you're at a bar, the girl doesn't know you and you've literally tapped her on the shoulder. Yeah, if I'm the girl, I'm telling the bartender, right?

[Chrissy]

Watch out for that guy.

[Zach Bauer]

And it's gonna really get the interaction off from a Place where the girl's saying, what's gonna happen? I'm waiting for this guy to, you know, give me a reason why he tapped me on the shoulder or why he.

[Brian Green]

No, I refuse to. Let's just share.

[Chrissy]

Or what if he does the old tap, tap and then looks away? Yeah, Dodges it.

[Brian Green]

We crawl under the bar with a feather and tickle their feet. All right, more fun with Zach. We'll be back.

[Christina]

You already know who it is. Christina, here to keep you actually informed. Unlike some people we know, Brian, I've got certified, verified, factual information about our Florida shows. So listen up. We are coming to Dania beach improv on Tuesday, September 24, and the Funny Bone in Orlando on Wednesday, September 25. And links to those tickets are in the show notes. So go getem. In other completely new and interesting news, you should follow us on Instagram at the commercialbridge break and on TikTok @TCB podcast. And of course, go to our website, tcbpodcast.com for all of our audio and video content. And finally, if you want to tell Brian and Chrissy that I am a pretty, pretty princess or that you hate me, text us or leave us a voicemail at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822.

[Brian Green]

Okay, and we're back with our friend Zach. He's having a Zach attack here at a commercial break today as he's teaching us a brand new method to success with the ladies. How to bid them, not open them. Eventually open them, but not open them immediately. Keep them closed for a while and then open them by tapping them on the shoulder, having them turn around and say nothing. Share an intimate moment before you get into all the specifics, like, what's your name?

[Chrissy]

Where's the pizza place?

[Brian Green]

Where's the pizza place? What do you think about guys with jorts? Jorts. All right, let's see what else he.

[Zach Bauer]

Has to say at me like that. And took me by the hand and pulled me in. Now, this is very different than walking up and trying to say something to a girl, trying to ask her a question. And the thing is that we found it doesn't matter. That jean shorts opener. Phenomenal pizza place. Great. Doesn't matter. But if you do either of those things and preface it by tapping her on the shoulder and waiting for her to lock eyes with you and just taking maybe a two to three second pause before you drop that line or before you tell her about the pizza's place and you add in a little Bit of a smile. Think about what this interaction's like, gonna physically look like.

[Brian Green]

Like.

[Zach Bauer]

I'm not talking about what.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I mean, how were they doing it before?

[Brian Green]

I. I don't know.

[Chrissy]

They just. Speaking of the back of.

[Brian Green]

What?

[Chrissy]

I mean, wow. The fact that he's got to break it down to this and say that they need to have them look at you for two seconds.

[Brian Green]

The fact that he had to break it down like this to himself. Right. It should tell you everything after years.

[Chrissy]

Two years.

[Brian Green]

Yes. After three years of. Wasn't it five years or something of intense training. Like a Jedi. Ma, they read all the books on the E. Reader. Oh, man, this is crazy. Think about how long three seconds is to stare somebody you don't know in the eyes. Ready? Here. Let's do it. I mean, that's a long fucking time to say nothing after you've tapped someone on the shoulder.

[Zach Bauer]

Girl. This is on such a different level because you're not communicating with the words.

[Brian Green]

Right.

[Zach Bauer]

You're communicating on such a subliminal level. You're communicating in a primal sexual way where this girl is basically being baited into waiting to hear what's going to come out of your mouth. And you drop it with a little bit of a smile. Strong eye contact and slow.

[Brian Green]

Excuse me. Do you like jorts? Because I've got some in my backpack. I'll put them on. Complete failure, system breakdown.

[Zach Bauer]

And anything you say sound sexual. Whether it's about jean shorts, a pizza place, and the fact is that if you guys have ever heard about direct openers, everything is a direct opener. When you tap a girl on the shoulder and stare into her eyes. Okay. You don't need to say, I think you're cute and I wanted to meet you. You can ask her her favorite pizza place because you are being so direct.

[Brian Green]

What?

[Chrissy]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

Why would you go up to a random stranger, tap him on the shoulder, wait 30 minutes to talk them and stare them in the eyes and then say, what's your favorite pizza place? I have a feeling the success on this one is zero.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Can I buy you a drink? Are you here with anybody? I think you're attractive. Is it okay if I sit down? We can talk for a minute. That's it. That's my opener. Actually, I had no opener. My opener was, can I have another Bud Light? I'm gonna wear you down before the end of the night and catch your phone number. That won't be real, but it'll make me feel better. And then I'll Be back next Tuesday night to do the same thing.

[Zach Bauer]

You're being so emotionally direct with this girl that it doesn't matter if you're talking about a pizza place or you're talking about, you know, a pool party that you want to go to, it's going to have sexual undertones. Guaranteed party.

[Brian Green]

When it comes to pool party.

[Chrissy]

So then, you know, this leaves this pool party down the street.

[Brian Green]

Listen, I've never been to one of these, and I've never been to a pool party that I haven't set up myself in my own pool. Like, no one's ever invited me to a pool party. I mean, that's not 100% true, but mostly true. People don't call me up and go, hey, bro, pool party. Want to come?

[Chrissy]

You came to my pool party.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, I did come to your pool party. That's true. That's true. That's the only pool party I've been to where other single women were involved. It's, you know, they don't bring, like, they're not looking for Brian's bod. You know, when you're stacking the pool party with lots of hot people, they don't go, Brian. We forgot about Brian. How could we not bring Brian? He's got that 24 pack of Bud light hanging around his belly. Let's get him.

[Zach Bauer]

We haven't even talked about what to say yet. Right? And already you've kind of built this sort of, you know, this experience. It's going to snowball from here. So this kind of takes us to the second piece of the puzzle, which is, you know, emotional investment. And, you know, a lot of guys and a lot of people in this industry talk about the fe of the feral.

[Brian Green]

Fe of the feral. That's right. How to be feral. Here's my feral method to get girls attracted.

[Zach Bauer]

How many guys have gone out and tried to get girls attracted before? Yeah, I did. I tried that for a long time. And you know what I realized?

[Brian Green]

Why does Zach remind me of one of those guy like Neanderthal Geico commercial guys.

[Chrissy]

He does a little bit shorter hair.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Zach Bauer]

Girls don't want to meet guy who's trying to get them attracted.

[Christina]

Peacock.

[Zach Bauer]

Girls want to meet a guy who's already attracting them. Girls don't want to, like, you to come up, come out of nowhere, be a fucking loser, and start giving them these really great lines that kind of like, make her say, wait a second, I was so wrong. This guy's not a loser. I do want to bang him. Yeah, it's like, that's not how this goes, okay? And the fact of the matter is.

[Chrissy]

What I'm talking about here, the method.

[Brian Green]

I could have followed the method. I can see someone in the back, like, getting angrier and angrier. Like, I spent $75,000 and 10 years of my life on mysteries. Method.

[Zach Bauer]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And tell me it's all wrong.

[Zach Bauer]

Not focus on looks or money or age. I mean, I swear to God, we've had students that are, you know, you see him walking around with the girls now, and, yeah, he's too fat for her. And, yeah, he's too old for her and too divorced or too, you know, whatever.

[Brian Green]

Too divorced. I am so divorced.

[Chrissy]

That's too much.

[Brian Green]

That's too much. Settle down.

[Zach Bauer]

Brian still has that girl. And, you know, it's the other guys on the street that are saying he's too fat for her. It's not himself.

[Brian Green]

And that's make it sound like everybody's like, a part of a street gang.

[Chrissy]

I know.

[Brian Green]

Running around from, you're a Jet. You're a Jet. All the way from your first cigarette to your last. Ey and day. He's too fat for her. Hey, Jimmy. He's too fat for her.

[Zach Bauer]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I said it. What are you gonna do? Dance fight later on tonight? Right here. Knife fight. Where do these people live?

[Zach Bauer]

The difference is because instead of trying to get a girl attracted, you put me out in a bar, tell me to go try to get a girl attracted. I'm going to fail miserably because I don't have the first idea about how to get a girl attracted who's not already attracted. What I do know how to do is create an experience that every girl wants to be a part of and ends in having sex.

[Brian Green]

Oh, you sound like Taylor Swift's tour manager. I'm gonna. I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna build an experience that every woman wants to be a part of and that every man who takes them there gets to go home and. And have sex with her. Yeah. Take her to a Taylor Swift concert. Done deal, dude.

[Zach Bauer]

That's what we're moving towards right now. But I want you guys to understand that this begins not with, you know, opening or conversation or getting her attracted. It begins when you get her focused on you. If you can hold a girl's full focus, then, you know, I mean, that's all it comes down to. It gives you a very, very good stage that's been set for you to then transition this relationship back to the bedroom. Okay? So, like I said, it all Starts with a tap, tap stairs, tap, tap, stare.

[Brian Green]

No girl wants a loser to come up to him with a bunch of opening lines. So tap him on the shoulder, then give him your opening eyes. Let him qualify. You first. I don't know how to make a girl who's not attracted to me attracted to me. But I sure do know how to make a girl who's not attracted to me attracted to me.

[Zach Bauer]

Excuse me one second.

[Brian Green]

Sounded crisp and clean. It's all part of his stage presence. He's like Tony Robbins building up. Oh, wow.

[Chrissy]

Oh, he spilled on himself.

[Brian Green]

He drank water like Marco Rubio that one time. He.

[Zach Bauer]

So basically, what's the difference between emotional investment and getting a girl attracted? Okay. Emotional investment is when a girl wants to find out more about you. When a girl is intrigued by you. When a girl likes the things that you're saying and she wants you to say more of them. When a girl enjoys your presence and, you know, will do things like tell her friends, oh, no, no, no. I'm fine. Just go to the bar without me. Because she. She wants to be around.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no. I don't need the rape whistle.

[Chrissy]

Don't call security.

[Brian Green]

It's a pretty low bar when you're. You say it's a success if your friends don't call the cops. I mean, we're really not aiming very high, are we?

[Zach Bauer]

Because you make her feel good. Okay, now, this is a very, very simple thing to do. And a lot of the time, guys are like, you know, a lot of our students. Students will ask, well, what does it look like? Well, emotional investment is.

[Brian Green]

It looks like a turtle that pops out of its shed.

[Chrissy]

That's when Rob and I demonstrate in real time.

[Brian Green]

That's when Rob and I demonstrate how to tap each other on the shoulder and bounce on each other's dicks. Rob and I. There aren't many. Listen, I've been failing with all these women, but that's what I realized. There's lots of guys out there. He said that yesterday.

[Zach Bauer]

Very simple. All it is is when the girl starts asking you questions about yourself. Right. Have you guys ever been out at a bar and had a girl say, oh, you're funny. What's your name? Has anyone ever heard that before? Yeah. Okay. That's emotional.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. My mom thinks I'm hilarious.

[Chrissy]

You're funny. What's your name?

[Brian Green]

I'm your son. It's Rodney. Mom, I'm trying to open a set here where you chill. Take a couple buttons down. I'm trying to garner attraction.

[Zach Bauer]

Beginning to become Emotionally invested in you. Have you guys ever heard girls say, wait, so what's your name? You guys ever heard that one?

[Brian Green]

No.

[Chrissy]

Has anyone ever asked her name before?

[Brian Green]

No one said yes.

[Chrissy]

Anyone?

[Zach Bauer]

Anyone?

[Brian Green]

No. That's a new one for me. I've asked it lots, but I just never got a response.

[Chrissy]

Oh, God.

[Zach Bauer]

Like quantum physics here.

[Brian Green]

I mean, this stuff is very quantum physics. He's like, it's not quantum physics. No one's ever had their name asked before. This is a tough crowd. I mean, I kind of knew what I was up against, but I didn't know it was this bad. Guys, throw away all your mystery materials. You gotta get with Zack. Zack attack.

[Zach Bauer]

Simple.

[Brian Green]

Let's get feral together, boys.

[Zach Bauer]

So, you know, rather than just tell you, okay, so you know, step one, get her focused. Step two, try to get her to ask you questions. I'm going to tell you one of the most effective ways that Rob and I have to get a girl to begin emotionally investing.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I can wait.

[Zach Bauer]

Using statements. We have this. We have a technique that we call conversation bait.

[Chrissy]

We have a technique we call conversation.

[Brian Green]

We have a technique we call talking. No. Get out your notepads.

[Chrissy]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

I'm about to blow your mind. By opening your mouth and making different vocal tones. With your tongue in your throat, using your lips to support the vowels, you, too can get laid. This is complicated. I know.

[Zach Bauer]

Technique give this to you. I'm actually going to give you two strategies that we use. You guys can go out and use them tonight. Hopefully you start seeing. Seeing some good results. We're all about fast, fast results.

[Brian Green]

So I bet you are about fast, fast results. I bet we talk a few. Ladies, you've been it in your years. I'm on about fast. Oh, Best results with Zach. And you've been Zach attacked. I went feral on your ass.

[Zach Bauer]

Yes. First technique, conversation bait. Right. Now, like, I want to preface this by saying this is not about cold reading. This is not about any sort of, like, crazy manipulation.

[Chrissy]

Disclaimer.

[Zach Bauer]

Conversation bait.

[Brian Green]

I want to disclaim. This usually doesn't work. I want to tell you up ahead of time this 99% of the time, this is not going to work. Maybe closer to 100. But don't worry, I'm going to tell it to you anyway.

[Zach Bauer]

Throwing something out there that is going to force the girl to want to have a conversation, Right? Saying something like, oh, you have an accent, don't you? Whether she does or doesn't. Okay, if a girl has an accent, she's going to say, yeah, I'm from South Africa. And if a girl doesn't, she's going to laugh and say, why would you ask me that? Right, that's it.

[Chrissy]

Question your end. Panties down.

[Brian Green]

Panties wet, soaked. I call that the panty changer. Extra panties, please.

[Zach Bauer]

Then you can continue. More statements. Just keep prodding, keep drilling down. And she's going to keep asking you guys questions. So for instance, like a good example of the conversation bait is that question. Or like saying like, keep drilling down on the.

[Christina]

On an accident.

[Brian Green]

You know. You have an accent, don't you? No, you don't. Well, not where you're from, but here. I mean, I hear it. I.

[Chrissy]

Where are you from?

[Brian Green]

Where are you? No, I mean, I. I know you're from somewhere else. Don't use questions, Chrissy, only statements. I know you're from somewhere else. No, you're not. I suspect you're lying. I suspect this is going poorly. Do you mind if I start over again with more questions based conversation? Tap, tap.

[Chrissy]

Turn back around.

[Brian Green]

Turn back around. Let's start this over.

[Zach Bauer]

Because the fact is, is, like what? Like, what could a girl possibly say to that? Like what? She's either gonna say yes, no, or why would you ask me that? Right? Like, I mean, I can promise.

[Brian Green]

Sounds like a great. Why would you ask me that?

[Zach Bauer]

Said this thousands of times. And that's the only three answers I've ever heard. Fact of the matter is, is that if she says yes, I do you have something to talk about, right? She's gonna start telling you about herself. She's gonna start emotionally investing. She says, no, I don't. Why would you ask me that? Well, there. You have some friction, right? Might feel a little bit awkward. Well, the fact of the matter is you guys have probably been taught to avoid that awkwardness, to avoid moments of her maybe putting up resistance to the interaction. What we've actually found is that resistance allows you to overcome it and bring you two together and create very strong sexual emotions when you guys have a fight going between you.

[Brian Green]

Fight, Fight. What? We're. We're pruning the pear field for the fight. In our initial conversation, we're getting ready for makeup sex. Oh, my goodness. Oh, man. Wow.

[Chrissy]

We didn't even get to the other thing.

[Brian Green]

We aren't even close. I mean, we're halfway through this video, but it's just too fun. It's so much fun. I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it. Zach, you are the best. I wish you all the crypto success, bro. I really do. Oh, man. Where do we. Where do these people come from? Listen, it's obvious he's put a lot of time and energy into thinking about really wacky ways to try and get girls into bed. Not sure one of them will work, but. Okay. You know, I'd like to hear from any of the guys in the audience, like, did they ever use any of these techniques? And did they ever work.

[Zach Bauer]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Or speak to any human being, let alone a single female, at a bar? Because I think that's the hardest part of this all is walking into the bar. Yeah, that's it. If you can walk into a bar and you go to that bar long enough, you're gonna find somebody to talk to. It's walking into the bar that I think a lot of guys. Guys and girls have a hard time with. And maybe the bar is not your spot. Maybe Dragon Con or something like that would be a better place for you. Yeah, yeah.

[Chrissy]

Common interest.

[Brian Green]

Speaking of Dragon Con, it was just a couple weeks ago.

[Zach Bauer]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And. Yeah. Anyway, I don't know why I said.

[Chrissy]

That, because it's a big weekend in Atlanta.

[Brian Green]

It is. Everyone loves to go to Dragon Con. Everyone loves their Dragon Con. I've only been. I've only been once, twice, as seven of the parade. And then I went to the actual event one time. Yeah. A lot of fun. A lot of fun. A lot of fun. People down.

[Chrissy]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. It was good. I mean, it's not something I want to attend every year, but it's just because it's a lot of effort and I'm not a dresser upper, so I always feel like I'm gawking a little bit. It feels a little bit like, I don't know, like costume porn to me. Like I'm watching costume porn. But anyway, I enjoyed looking at the pictures, that's for sure.

[Zach Bauer]

Sure.

[Brian Green]

All right, we're gonna be at Daniel point on the 24th. A Dania Improv on the 24th. The Funny Bone on the 25th in Orlando. Please come see us. 212-433-3822. That's 212-4333. TCB. Questions, comments, concerns, content, Ideas. If you're going to be at the show, we'd love to hear from you. Please go to the links inside the show notes to buy your tickets and nowhere else, unless you're going to go go on our website or something like that. Also at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break. Okay, Chrissy. That's all I can do for right now?

[Chrissy]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

But I'll tell you that I love you.

[Chrissy]

And I love you.

[Brian Green]

I'll say best to you, Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say goodbye.

[Zach Bauer]

Sa.

[Brian Green]

Oh, hell yeah.