Macgyver The Flyer!

Summary

The Commercial Break | “MacGyver The Flyer!”

Episode Date: July 24, 2026 | Hosts: Brian Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

In this hilarious, freewheeling episode, Bryan and Krissy return from their respective travels to riff on everything from airline mishaps and hotel voyeurism to spam calls, parenting, and the ever-present chaos of modern life. A classic return to TCB’s improv roots, the episode is anchored by Bryan’s real-life story of watching an airline maintenance worker “MacGyver” a 737’s overhead bin — using nothing but a Honda Accord car key. Listeners get a front-row seat to the duo’s signature brand of irreverent, relatable banter as they unravel tangents about flight delays, Spotify woes, teenage antics with location-sharing, and even the latest in cult-survivor podcast recommendations.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Air Travel Disasters & The Honda Key Hero (00:44–01:13, 08:46–09:35)

• Bryan recaps his adventures with serial flight delays, describing Delta’s notorious on-time record with a mix of frustration and affection.
  • “I love Delta. I love you still. My favorite airline ever…But you cannot. I, I cannot believe how un on time these flights are.” (03:22)
• Main story: On a delayed flight, an airline maintenance worker fixes a stubborn overhead bin with a Honda Accord key — rather than standard tools.
  • “Million dollar operation. $100 million, 737. And the guy fixed it with his Honda key.” — Bryan (00:44–01:13)
  • “He MacGyvered that shit.” — Bryan (01:13)
  • Krissy: “You gotta use all the tools. He MacGyvered that.”

2. Travel Anecdotes & Hotel Voyeurism (05:01–07:38)

• Bryan’s hotel room gets double‑booked, but he’s rewarded with the presidential suite. He describes the New York suite’s lavish comforts — and his accidental glimpse into a neighbor’s condo, culminating in a “beaver shot” interrupted by nose-picking.
  • “For a moment I’m like, sweet beaver shot. And then I’m like, that’s pretty disgusting.” — Bryan (06:16)
• The peculiar etiquette of window privacy in city living: “Sometimes I’m like, fuck it. We all have bodies. Who cares?” (07:38)

3. Parenting Without the Kids: “Graham’s Camp” (08:06–09:53)

• Bryan’s children are staying with grandparents — “Graham’s Camp” — so he enjoys a kid-free home, but is torn between missing them and enjoying the quiet.
  • “Part of me enjoys that idea. Part of me enjoys the idea of sleeping next to my wife without three extra bodies in the middle.” — Bryan (09:54)
• Touching moment as his son FaceTimes, worried about his parents’ absence:
  • “He was just so stressed about the idea that he’d be sleeping without his parents in the house.” (10:35)

4. Modern Music Sharing Woes: The Spotify Paradox (12:30–14:53)

• Bryan laments sharing his Spotify account with his kids, leading to hijacked playlists and constant interruptions by his son streaming songs (“Crazy Orange”) remotely.
  • “The problem with my Spotify in general is…the kids have logged into my personal account on their iPads. So every time I try and listen to a song, my son keeps changing the song.” — Bryan (12:32)
• Musical chaos: Excerpts from “Crazy Orange” repeatedly hijack his attempts to listen to alternative rock. He reveals his Spotify account is bloated with thousands of single-song playlists (“Mickey, Disney, Universal, Nickelodeon, Let it Go, Frozen, Stitch, Lilo…”).

5. Gripes About Tech Giants (15:30–16:43)

• Discussion about switching to Apple Music, and the general annoyance that modern music platforms don’t really let you own your music — merely license it.
  • “The second you stop paying them, that all goes away…It’s a walled garden.” — Bryan (15:36)
• Disdain for Spotify’s handling of podcast revenues and intrusive, AI-driven ad targeting.

6. Community Chat, Local Schools, & Trump Rally Hijinks (20:43–23:29)

• Bryan reminisces about Wheeler High School—Atlanta’s elite, affluent public school district—mentioning how students trolled Trump by mocking him onstage behind his head during a speech.
  • “While Donald Trump was giving his speech, they were making fun of him behind his head.” — Bryan (22:57)
• Krissy questions why the event was held during summer school. Delayed flights across Atlanta are ascribed to Trump’s visit and related flight restrictions.

7. Pilot Roleplay, Airline Security Rants, & Flight Restrictions (23:39–27:46)

• Bryan channels his “inner pilot,” showing off ATC (air traffic control) lingo in a faux pilot voice, joking about wanting to “help” in the cockpit, and explaining FAA regulations around presidential travel.
  • On Trump: “If you didn’t know, I am a, I’m a pilot in my head. Yes, you are, because I flew two times now I’m a pilot.” (23:39)
  • “That flight restriction is so big, it’s so wide, it’s like a hundred mile radius that you can’t fly. When the president has his plane in the air…it seems like a lot of space to be giving the President, in my opinion.” — Bryan (26:41)

8. Political Tangent: The Mental Toll of U.S. Presidents (27:07–28:57)

• Conversation turns to Trump’s declining public appearances and the effects of age and stress on leaders. Referencing Bill O’Reilly’s recent critique of Trump.
  • “He even, like I was listening to Bill O’Reilly…he talked about how bad Trump looks, how bad Trump sounds, how age has really caught up with him…” — Bryan (27:07)

9. Podcast Plugs: “The Gist” & Megan Phelps-Roper’s “Bookkeeper” (29:02–34:35)

• Bryan announces he’s (occasionally) hosting The Gist podcast during Mike Pesca’s absence.
• Recommends “Bookkeeper,” a memoir podcast by Megan Phelps-Roper, granddaughter of the founder of Westboro Baptist Church, recounting her journey out of the notorious hate group.
  • “She woke up one day and decided…this is wrong. I don’t know what I’m doing…she now wants to be the antithesis of everything that has to do with her family…” — Bryan (30:32)
• Discussion on how the baggage of the word “Bible” led to the show’s more neutral title.

10. Listener Q&A: Dealing with Spam Calls & Tech Anxiety (37:10–46:51)

• Listeners ask about spam phone calls; both hosts vent about the deluge of spam and the arms race between AI spam bots and new screening tools.
  • Bryan: “There are whole…sites online because I’ve used [one] to buy our commercial break phone numbers.” (37:44)
  • “Now the AI bots on the other end…AI bots are having conversations with each other, is basically what’s happening.” — Bryan (39:08)
• Bryan describes his attempts to manage communication overload — ignoring unknown numbers, limiting email checks, and turning off notifications to avoid “high cortisol, high stressful environment where everybody feels they need to be able to get a hold of anybody within a minute…” (42:00–42:41)
• Krissy: “I do a morning and an afternoon check.” (42:41)

11. Find My, Teenager Workarounds, & Changing Norms (46:33–48:52)

• Bryan discusses the “Find My” feature for family tracking, sharing a clever tactic teens use to outwit parental surveillance: leaving their phones at a friend’s, so parents think they’re safely at home.
  • “These teenagers…leave their cell phones down in a basement at that house. And then…everybody thinks they're down in the basement and they're really visiting boys houses.” (47:43)
• Both hosts reflect on how kids need space for unsupervised fun, as they did when younger.

12. Bryan’s “Wisdom of the Day” & Life Lessons (49:05–49:58)

• Bryan uses the now-iconic NBC jingle to cap off his advice: normalize less-accessible, less-anxious contact expectations.

13. Quick Hits: Duolingo Spanish, Podcast Business, Goodbyes (49:58–52:10)

• Bryan tries to learn Spanish via Duolingo and is startled by the volume of lessons and real-time AI video chats.
  • “You have to have a FaceTime phone call with an AI cartoon character…in Spanish.” (50:56)
• Show wrap-up: Reminders to follow on YouTube, Instagram, and check out “Bookkeeper” and “The Gist.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the airline fix (01:13):

  • "He MacGyvered that shit. I felt good. I was like, this is exactly the kind of operation I want flying me from one place to the other at 35,000ft." — Bryan

• On window peeping in NYC (06:16):

  • "For a moment I'm like, sweet beaver shot. And then I'm like, that's pretty disgusting…Anyway, I'll, I'll take it past the drape." — Bryan

• On parenting, vulnerability (10:35):

  • "He was just so stressed about the idea that he'd be sleeping without his parents in the house, which he's done before, just not with my dad." — Bryan

• On modern tech anxiety (42:00):

  • "We have now normalized this high cortisol, high stressful environment where everybody feels they need to be able to get ahold of anybody within a minute and if they don't, then it's rude, unprofessional, or there's something wrong. It's just not true."

• On teens outsmarting ‘Find My’ (47:43):

  • “At least they're not scrolling Instagram…So if the worst thing that they do is leave their…we did the same shit when we were kids and my kids are going to do the same shit.”

• On spam calls and business (38:08):

  • “What's your email? So I can send over the routing number for the million dollars that you. That you've been approved for…I wouldn't be approved for $10,000, let alone a million dollars.” — Bryan

• On podcasting and Spotify (15:36):

  • "The second that you disengage from that company, you don't know — you're stuck forever."

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Important Timestamps

• 00:44–01:13 | “MacGyver the Flyer”: Bryan tells the story of the overhead bin being fixed with a Honda car key.
• 05:01–07:38 | Hotel Suite Voyeurism: Tales of New York hotel living and accidental window sightings.
• 08:06–10:35 | “Graham’s Camp” & Parenting: Navigating time away from kids, cute family drama.
• 12:30–14:53 | Spotify Hijinks & “Crazy Orange”: Son remotely changes Bryan's flight-playlist to kids’ music repeatedly.
• 22:57–23:29 | Wheeler High & Trump Rally: Students mock Trump during his speech as flights across Atlanta are delayed.
• 26:41–27:07 | Presidential Flight Restrictions: Why Trump’s travel creates such airport headaches.
• 30:31–34:35 | “Bookkeeper” Podcast Recommendation: The journey of Megan Phelps-Roper.
• 37:10–46:51 | Spam Calls, Tech, & Managing Communication: The existential fight against spam, AI phone screening, and boundaries.
• 46:33–48:52 | Find My & Teenage Life Hacks: Tangent on parental tracking and teenage rebellion.
• 49:58–52:10 | Duolingo Spanish Adventures: Bryan’s struggles and surprises in language learning.

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Overall Tone

Playful, self-aware, and rambling; infused with the duo’s now-classic comedic chemistry. There’s a strong current of nostalgia, skepticism about modern tech and media, and an undercurrent of gratitude for life’s funny, sometimes irritating chaos.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a prototypical Commercial Break: messy, sincere, and laugh-out-loud funny. It’s a whirlwind blend of travel, parenting, tech gripes, and cultural observations, anchored by a running inside-joke sensibility that makes longtime listeners feel right at home—and new listeners feel like they want in on the fun.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

Hey, cats and kittens, it's Brian popping on real quick. Before this episode, some of you have been texting me to tell me that you are not seeing new episodes this week. Drop into your podcast player. There's a technical reason for that. There was an issue. I fixed it. Rather than drop three episodes right on top of you today, I'll space these new episodes out. Maybe I'll drop one or two over the weekend. Enjoy this episode of the commercial break. On this episode of the commercial break, the probably the unsung heroes of keeping an airline running are the guys who make sure you do it safely. The guys who really know airplanes. Like, they get in there to get their hands dirty. They know which wire to disconnect or connect.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But this guy's now going to deal with a fucking thing that won't close. And it's right above my head. It's like across the aisle. So I watch this guy come in. It's just got the, like, tools everywhere, right? And so he's looking at it and he's playing with it, doing this. And then I see him reach into his pocket and he takes out his house keys and he takes like a Honda Accord key and starts fiddling with it and fixes it and then closes. Yeah. I'm like, billion dollar operation. $100 million, 737. And the guy fixed it with his Honda key.

[Chris Hoadley]

You gotta use all the tools.

[Brian Green]

He MacGyvered that shit. I felt good. I was like, this is exactly the kind of operation I want. Flying me from one place to the other at 35,000ft. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah, guys, I k. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Chris Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast and streaming audience. Thanks for joining us. Yeah, that's an oldie but a goodie.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, I love that one.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I've made some new songs here that, that we'll be playing over the next couple of weeks. So a lot of excitement. Got a lot of videos queued up later on this week. I've got a new Mountain Monsters. Mountain Monsters is back. I don't know if they're new. I don't know if it's new or if it's that they're repurposing old content, but I don't think we've ever watched the guys chase dragons.

[Chris Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

And so, no, we've never Seen a dragon episode. So I got a dragon episode. I'm really excited about it. Thanks for joining us. I am back from New York. Chrissy back from South Carolina. We're all our 12th vacation this year. For me it's not vacation, but I like to think of it as vacation. I went up. I'm 100% hit rate for being late. Flight delayed.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, you have had.

[Brian Green]

Oh man, it's just fucking miserable. I mean, listen, at least they're consistent. I know already what's going to happen. Right here's the part that really makes me angry. So if you order an Uber, if you reserve an Uber, then you can get double Delta points. Okay. So when I fly into town to New York, I reserve my Uber to the hotel and then I reserve my Uber back to the airport thinking to my. And you can also like now Uber just lets you set your flight and they'll come pick you up. You say, how long, how early do you want to be for your flight? Hour and a half. Okay, great. Here's the time. We're going to pick you up. Right. Assign a driver, the whole nine yards. So that's great and wonderful and fine. But with that kind of reservation, you cannot cancel unless it's minute 61 and beyond. So if you get within an hour, 60 minutes, then if you cancel, you have to pay for the entire ride.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Which is expensive. It's like $200 to fucking get from a hotel to LaGuardia. So every single time, without fail, Delta notifies me about my delayed flight at minute number 58. So now I'm fucked. I got to go to the airport, like, rather than sit in a hotel room or at the office or whatever. Fuck. Fuck. I love Delta. I love you still. My favorite airline ever. Enjoy flying with your wonderful staff and friendly people? Most of the time. Except for last night. A couple really fussy flight attendants. But besides that. But you cannot. I, I cannot believe how un on time these flights are.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, it's. I didn't have that much trouble coming in out of Colorado. Everything was on time with that. But I did go to New York concert.

[Brian Green]

Yep.

[Chris Hoadley]

And then coming back, I got late. Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Right out of there. At least gate 88.

[Rachel]

At least.

[Brian Green]

Look, they call that late late gate 88.

[Rachel]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

That's right.

[Chris Hoadley]

Gate 88.

[Brian Green]

That's the Atlanta gate.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yep. At least LaGuardia is nice now going years ago.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it's a hole. God damn. It's a shithole. No. Spent like $3 billion on it. And it really ended up being just a, a lovely, lovely airport, lovely addition to the whole, the whole complex that now is LaGuardia. So there you go. Anyway, enough about my travel issues. But I get into, I get in and it turns out that the hotel had double booked my room and it's sold out. So. But these guys, because they know me there, my second house, they were like, we didn't wanna leave you on the street. So we're giving you the suite, like the presidential suite, like the top of the building, corner office kind of thing.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's not a bad concentration.

[Brian Green]

Oh man. I'll tell you what, it's like, it was like a thousand square feet. It was huge for New York. It was a two full room. The living room was twice the size of this studio. It was unbelievable. And so I was just luxuriating up there by myself in this huge suite.

[Chris Hoadley]

I mean, did you wipe to your friends?

[Brian Green]

No, I didn't see my friend. I was keeping an eye on it. No, but in this corner suite, it's right next to a brand new condo building. And the condo building is like floor to ceiling glass windows and everybody has these drapes and there's some of them are open, right? So it's Monday night, Tuesday night, it's pissing rain. I mean, it's pissing rain. And I'm like, I don't want to go out and try and get something to eat. I just don't want to. So I am watching TV and I'm on the, I'm like laying on this couch in this living room and I can like, I pop my head up and I look over the couch and what do I see? I see a woman down in the condo, right? But like maybe two stories below me, like I look down, yeah, I can see her. It's nighttime, so the windows are open, the lights are on, there's a TV there. She's sitting on her couch like this with a skirt on. So her willy hoo hoo is hanging out and she's picking her nose.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh my God.

[Brian Green]

And I'm like, oh, well, that's what I get. That's what I get. For a moment I'm like, sweet beaver shot. And then I'm like, that's pretty disgusting. Yeah, thanks. Anyway, I'll, I'll take it past the drape. I did. Well, it feels weird to me. I'm not from New York. Like, I know window peeping is like, it's just a thing in New York. Like you live around, you live basically feet from other people in their windows. So I think there's. My impression, having now looked in a lot of windows and Ben looked at through a lot of windows, is there's. There's two different attitudes. It's either close the drapes or fuck it. Are we stuck or stuck? Did we get stuck?

[Astrid]

Hey.

[Brian Green]

But I don't think we're actually stuck. I think this is just an issue with our tv. So there's like, two different. There's two different attitudes that are going on. One is it, yeah, like, whatever. Yeah, we all have bodies, and we all, you know, I gotta live my life. And then the other attitude is close the windows and hide. Right. And so it just depends on what kind of mood I'm in. But sometimes I'm like, fuck it. We all have bodies. Who cares? Like, there's this huge shower with a tub in the middle of it, and there's a drape to that you can close so you can, you know, hide yourself. And the bathroom is like the size of the studio, and half of it is a shower with a tub in the middle of it. It's the rain shower, the whole nine yards.

[Chris Hoadley]

Nice.

[Brian Green]

And one day I'm like, close to drape. Don't want anybody to see me. The other day I'm like, fuck it. I just don't even fucking care. I really don't. I'm gonna end up on the Internet. I'm gonna end up on the Internet. Okay, well, there we go. We're having technical difficulties, but I can see we're still on. So there. So I can actually see that we're still on. Yeah. So anyway, I got the suite, everything's great. Wonderful. I come back home, no kids.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Graham's Camp. They call it Graham's Camp. And that's my. My dad and. And my stepmom called us a couple weeks ago, and they said, listen, we're gonna give it a shot. We're gonna try and take. Yeah. We're gonna do a test, all 15 of your children. And let's see if we can. Let's see if we can take them for a couple of days, a couple of nights. So they did. And then I'm on the plane last night, I'm waiting for us to take off, which is another thing. Yeah. Waiting two hours for the plane to get on the plane late, and then waiting another 45 minutes because there was a. One of those overhead bins wouldn't close.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So they called in, like, the Delta guy, Right. So the Delta guy comes in. You know, the worker guy was.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. The maintenance guy.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. With the maintenance guy. You know, probably the unsung heroes of keeping an airline running are the guys who make sure you do it safely. The guys who really know airplanes. Like, they get in there to get their hands dirty. They know which wire to disconnect or connect. But this guy's now gonna deal with a fucking thing that won't close. And it's right above my head. It's, like, across the aisle. So I watched this guy come in. It's just got the, like, tools everywhere, right? And so he's looking at it and he's playing with it and doing this. And then I see him reach into his pocket and he takes out his house keys. And he takes, like, a Honda Accord key and starts fiddling with it and fixes it and then closes. Yeah, I'm like, billion dollar operation. Million dollars, 737. And the guy fixed it with his Honda key.

[Chris Hoadley]

You gotta use all the tools.

[Brian Green]

He MacGyvered that.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I felt good. I was like, this is exactly the kind of operation I want. Flying me from one place to the other at 35,000ft. So we. So I get home. So anyway, so last night, I'm on the plane. I just had sat down, and my dad calls me. I had called him actually, earlier because I want to check in with the kids.

[Rachel]

Right.

[Chris Hoadley]

You have to do it.

[Brian Green]

I was feeling a little. I was feeling a little of a klempt. I was like, I haven't seen him since Sunday. I'm feeling bad. They're my babies. I'm going to come home. They're not going to be there. Part of me enjoys that idea. Part of me enjoys the idea of sleeping next to my wife without three extra bodies in the middle. And then part of me says, well, I really enjoy coming home to my children.

[Chris Hoadley]

Sure.

[Brian Green]

So I said, let me. Let me give him a ring and I'll see what's up. So I call my dad. He doesn't answer the phone. He sends me to voicemail. And then he texts me right away, and he's like, the house is on fire and I'm putting it out with a hose. But other than that, everything's great. Don't call back. Right? And I know what he's doing. He's like, we got it, Brian. I raised four children. I raised four of you. And you're all so much.

[Chris Hoadley]

That is true. He did raise four.

[Brian Green]

And I was one of them. I know. And I was one of them. And I know now that I just

[Chris Hoadley]

thought about that thought.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I know for a fact. That I was probably one of the more difficult children in history to raise. Like Lucifer, let's see, Lucifer, baby Adolf. And Brian. Three kids you probably didn't want to have. So I go, okay, all right. Let my dad play his game. I'll call him tomorrow. It says he's like 7:30. So now I'm on the plane. It's like getting close to 11 o', clock, 10:30 and FaceTime from my dad. And I'm like, there we go. You know, someone wants to talk to dad. And I pick up the phone and my dad's like, we have someone here who is really concerned because he says he's the protector of his mom and dad and he doesn't know whether or not they're okay. He needs to check in before he goes to bed. And it was my one. My. One of my. My son. And he was just. You could tell he was just so stressed about the idea that he'd be sleeping without his. Without his parents in the house, which he's done before, just not with my dad. I mean, he's done it before. And listen, my dad and Susan, they're great. They're gonna. They're gonna figure it out. Yeah, yeah. But so I had to kind of talk him off the ledge a little bit. I'm like, hey, bud, go. And you know, maybe. Maybe papa, which is Grandpa, maybe papa will let you watch your. Your iPad or listen to your iPad, listen to some music or watch a show or something like that before you go to bed. Maybe that'll help. And so Papa says, yeah, of course. You know, you want to do that, we'll do that. Okay? So I talk him off the ledge. Eventually we hang up. I then am on the plane and I am trying to listen to some music. Sometimes I like to listen to a book. Sometimes I like to watch a television show. But I'm getting into now, like, just like going deep into my Spotify library and like, listening to songs I haven't heard in a long time and then listening to songs that are like that. Like, I go down these whole rabbit holes finding new music to put in the library.

[Chris Hoadley]

No, that's a good thing. It's a fun thing to do.

[Brian Green]

But the problem with my Spotify in general is that we have a family account. Only the kids have logged into my personal account on their iPads. So every time I try and listen to a song, my son keeps changing the song. It's like, every time I'm like, okay, let's listen to a little Live.

[Astrid]

Live.

[Brian Green]

Like the band Live. Live. Listen. Live. Live. And then all of a sudden, I'm listening to, like, there's this thing called, like, Crazy Orange. It's like this, you know, obnoxious fucking music. Here, let me give you an example of what Crazy Orange sounds like.

[Crazy Orange (character/song)]

Hello?

[Brian Green]

No, that's not it. Nope, that's not it. Oh, My name is.

[Crazy Orange (character/song)]

My name is Crazy Orange and I love you. I love you. My name is Crazy Orange. And I give you bigs and hugs and you flash me, you smash me, you smash me, Crazy Orange. As you smash me, you smash me, you smash me. Crazy Orange.

[Brian Green]

Stop it.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's changing it. While you're trying to listen to your thing.

[Brian Green]

Okay, I'm listening to Lykini's Juice. Do you remember that song, Lykini's Juice?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Do you know what I'm talking about?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

What? What a fantastic song. Listen live. Not my favorite band in the world, but they did manage to put together

[Chris Hoadley]

a few good ones. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yes. They put together a few great songs. And here is. This is what I'm talking about.

[Crazy Orange (character/song)]

Crazy orange. Crazy orange. Crazy. Find out where we belong.

[Brian Green]

It's good. Driving me crazy. I'm like, oh, damn it. But, you know, then I relented because I'm like, okay, my dad's having trouble putting the kids to sleep. Just let him listen to Crazy Orange or whatever the he's listening to. Oh, it was driving me nuts. You know, you, like, get into a song like that song, you're like,

[Crazy Orange (character/song)]

I'm

[Brian Green]

15 hours late to go home. I'm gonna be home at 4 in the morning.

[Crazy Orange (character/song)]

Crazy Orange.

[Negative Caller/Listener]

Crazy Orange.

[Crazy Orange (character/song)]

Crazy Orange. Fuck you.

[Brian Green]

Fuck you.

[Chris Hoadley]

Maybe he needs his own profile.

[Brian Green]

He has his own profile. We have a family account, but they all log into my profile. Yeah, okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

Maybe you should just start using his.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I think you might be right to start new. Yeah. You don't know how many playlists I have that are named some variation of Mickey, Disney, Universal, Nickelodeon, Let it Go. Frozen Stitch, Lilo. I mean, it's. And they all have one song in them, so. My kid loves to make playlists. He puts one song in the playlist. I have 7,000 playlists. So now to get to my playlist, I have to filter through all of them. It's a big mess. I don't know how you unfuck that Spotify. You've caused a problem that I can't undo. Not my favorite company in the world, if I'm being honest. Spotify. But whatever. Anyway, okay. All right, so let's.

[Chris Hoadley]

Apple Music.

[Brian Green]

I thought about it.

[Chris Hoadley]

You can also import your playlists over from Spotify. Spotify to Apple Music.

[Brian Green]

No, you can just change it from. This is the worst part about Spotify and Apple Music, in my opinion, is that you do not own the music. You're just licensing it from them. The second you stop paying them, that all goes away. It's. You can download it onto your phone, but only through the app. So the second that you disengage from that company, you don't know you're stuck forever. So, yeah, you're stuck forever. They got you. It's a walled garden. That's part of the reason why I dislike Spotify and. And along with other things that they've done to the podcast industry. That is just not worth mentioning here. But not good. I will tell you that. Not good. Without getting into all the dirt and minutia and drama, what Spotify has done to the podcast industry is not good. There's some functionality, like watching video on the Spotify app, that is cool, but the minutiae behind what's going on with Spotify and podcasting is just. It's. They're doing the same thing to podcasters. They're. They're essentially railroading them out of revenue. And anyway, listen to us on Apple Music or Apple Podcasts. Okay, let's take a short break. We'll be back.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text, we'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[Negative Caller/Listener]

Just a guy who rants. Not funny at all. The co host is asleep. She's pretty dull. People like the show. Why are they on the charts? What's the fuck I tell? What are you talking about? I should love a student stat. TCV is terrible. This show is fucking bad. I'd like to punch Brian in the mouth. This podcast is kinda sad. Is this what we think is funny now how do I turn it off? My ears are saying ow. Stop laughing at yourself. Are these two making sense? least I didn't pay. I'm deaf. In my defense, PCB is terrible. That is being kind. Both the hosts are idiots. They left the funny behind. What is this show about? It's offensive to my soul. Brian is a hack. These two are unfunny and so old. Why all the hype? How did this get made so many episodes?

[Brian Green]

None of them are great.

[Negative Caller/Listener]

TCB is terrible. Worst show you could do. TCB is terrible. Worst to you.

[Crazy Orange (character/song)]

Woo. That's right.

[Brian Green]

Not Lekini's juice, but pretty fucking good, I do have to say. All right. Hey, everybody in the chat. Hey, Jenny. Hey, Shawn. Hey, she. Everybody in there talking. Someone says they were listening to the most recent episode and a commercial plate of highway patrol cracking down on super speeders in charge of that car. Oh shit. They're cracking down on you. They're tracking down on me. This is. This is part of what Spotify is doing. Let me explain why you're likely hearing that ad because I have been talking about super speeding in Georgia and Florida and so now they are targeting content and that is what they are targeting. That is no coincidence. I promise you. That is part of what Spotify is doing is they are putting the whole podcast industry that is is with Spotify on a new ad server. That ad server is like creepy AI kind of stuff. So hey, listen, I don't want to tell you to skip the ads, but I know you will if you need to. Okay. All right. There you go. Listen, it's part of what. It's just the. The deal we have to make with the devil here. We've got to get paid somehow, some way. So anyway, thanks everybody in the stream. Good to have you Speak up if you want to. I wanted to share that I shouldn't be chewing gum on.

[Chris Hoadley]

No, I was surprised you were doing that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I don't know. I have a thing in my mouth. I want some gum. I have a thing in my mouth. I want some gum. The thing in my mouth is under the table. Yeah, I'm gonna stick it under the. Stick it under the table. We'll start a little collection. Trump come goes to Wheeler yesterday. Wheeler High School, which is my home turf. That's where I grew up. I grew up in that part of Georgia, in that part of Atlanta called East Cobb. East Cobb has some of the best high schools, middle schools, and elementary schools anywhere in the country. These are like private schools juiced with all kinds of private money because it is very affluent over in East Cobb. And so they have now made themselves this wonderful little bedroom community. And, and listen, I grew up in East Cobb, so. And, and I want to share that. It was a nice place to grow up, but it is definitely. They're definitely privileged. When you go, if you go to Wheeler, Walton, Pope, Dickerson, you know, East Cobb Middle, if you go to any of these schools, you are really a lucky child. You have been put into a school system that is tailor made to make you successful.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. A lot of people move there just for the schools.

[Brian Green]

It's exactly why people move there and they pay millions of dollars to buy a house or rent a, you know, hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to rent a condo or be in a nice apartment or be in the bad side of town or lie and just say that you live there. We know that that happens too. And so Wheeler is not a great representation, I don't think, of the. Of Atlanta in general. It's not like a slice of Atlanta. This is really on the outskirts. It's really this very affluent bedroom community. But I am proud of my Wheeler brethren and, and sisters because yesterday while Donald Trump was giving his speech, they were making fun of him behind his head. Did you see this? There were some smart ass high school students that were doing an imitation of Trump while Trump was up there being himself. They were doing.

[Chris Hoadley]

But what about, why was this summer school like it's the summer. Why were the school.

[Brian Green]

I don't know why they chose Wheeler High School. I don't understand why my taxpayer dollars are going to his rally now. He is the President of the United States.

[Chris Hoadley]

He was promoting his. Whatever is.

[Brian Green]

Save America.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Save America from another election. I mean, that's like, it's just so crazy. I don't know. That's part of the reason why my flight was so delayed yesterday is because they had flight restrictions all over Atlanta. Flight restrictions.

[Chris Hoadley]

I was driving back from Greenville, South Carolina. I thought I was going to hit a bunch of craziness with everything, but it was smooth sailing.

[Brian Green]

It was okay.

[Negative Caller/Listener]

All Right.

[Brian Green]

Well, listen, the President, especially President Trump, I have noticed because I keep an eye on this type of stuff. If you didn't know, I am a, I'm a pilot in my head. Yes, you are, because I flew two times now I'm a pilot.

[Chris Hoadley]

And you have the voice, you have the announce and announcing down.

[Brian Green]

I do have the announcing down, yes.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's really all you need.

[Brian Green]

That's right. Delta Cherokee three. Yeah. Delta Cherokee three, four, five. Lineup and wait. Dutch Cherokee, 345. Winds out of the South 09, Runway four. Cleared for takeoff. Clear for takeoff. Delta four, one. So I like to listen to my pilots talking. You know, I'm that guy. I just, I'm double checking, I'm making sure everything's okay. If there's, if there's an instance when I'm listening to air traffic control and I identify that there's a problem, I want them now take out my Honda car key and I will fix it. Just letting you know. Yeah, I'm going to let him know. I'm going to get up there and I'm going to knock on the door because that, because they like that. They like when people knock on the door midflight. Hey, guys. Hey guys. I was noticing when you, when atc, when tower Maine over there told you you were cleared for takeoff, you didn't check back the winds. So just letting you know. Yeah, okay, thanks. We're going to zip tie you and now put you in the closet. Okay, great. Talk to you soon.

[Astrid]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

You're going to be on the no fly list.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'm already on the. I'm getting close. So what I've noticed about Trump and his whatever, he's flying in the Qatari. I don't think he's flying in the Qatari playing anymore.

[Chris Hoadley]

But no, he's going to get that maxed out.

[Brian Green]

Maxed out. It's going to take 10 days and they're going to put missile defense systems in 10 days because that's how that works. Yeah, it's going to take years for that. For him to do that is the dumbest fucking thing anyway. I'm not going to get into it. Yeah, I don't care. I don't want this. I don't make this a Trump bashing thing. But I will say that Trump, I have noticed his flight restrictions, which is you can, you can even go on your, like if you have radar, the weather app, you can put a layer there. If you pay for the premium membership, you can put a layer there. That is a flight Layer and it'll tell you where flight restrictions are, where they have what are called MTNs and ATNs, which are announcements about where the, where there's rough air so that the pilots and the pilots can monitor all this. So when they say we're flying down to Atlanta, I think there's going to be some rough air going over Kentucky. So, you know, we're going to turn on the seatbelt sign. You're like, how do they know that? Well, they get reports from other pilots, put reports into this system called the MTN or the atn, the atis. And when they do that, then, then the pilots pop those up as they're going along. There's also flight restrictions all over the country. There's some on Disney World, Disneyland. There's lots of different reasons why that happens. But the most serious one, of course, is when the president or there's a military, something's going on with the military. But that flight restriction is so big, it's so wide, it's like a hundred mile radius that you can't fly. When the president has his plane in the air, you can't be within 100 miles. It seems like a lot of space to be giving the President, in my opinion, two miles. Two miles is okay. Like what?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Brian Green]

What is a Delta plane gonna do?

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, right. We're not loaded with missiles.

[Brian Green]

That's right. We're not maxed out.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Like he says, maxed out. I'm gonna max it out. He's jetmaxing. Jet maxing.

[Chris Hoadley]

He is jet maxing.

[Brian Green]

He's jet maxing. What does Douchey thing to say. Poor guy, he's just lost his marbles. His head is mush. He even, like I was listening to Bill O'Reilly. Remember Bill O'Reilly?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

He's still alive. He's still kicking. The guy's like 92 years old, still doing his show. Looks terrible. Sounds terrible, but God bless him, you know, he's still, I guess still feels the need to, to talk. He yesterday talked about how bad Trump looks, how bad Trump sounds, how age has really caught up with him, how he's just not the person he was even a couple of years ago. It's obvious to anyone who watches, even if you're a fan of Trump, you have to admit he's losing his marbles.

[Chris Hoadley]

I mean, once you hit 80, it's, you know, that's, there is a noticeable difference.

[Brian Green]

And, and, and I will share this. When you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.

[Chris Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

And you have to scramble in your mind to keep up with all the. Right. The real. The. You create when you have a lot of stress, when you're being indicted, when you're under tax, you know, fraud investigation, when all this other stuff is going on, that there's only so much, so long that your brain can keep up with that before it starts to get. Before you're like burning cells. Yeah. It's like your brain just starts to turn to mush. That's the kind of stress that breaks a normal psyche. He's not a normal psyche, but, you know, you can just tell. It's like he's just mushy. He's mushy in the head. And even Bill O'Reilly said that Trump needed to take a month off, that the government, the Congress, needed to give him a month off so he could go relax and golf. It's like, I think that's what the guy is doing anyway.

[Chris Hoadley]

I don't play more golf than, like, any other president. I mean.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he's golfing 82% of his time. Yeah. That's what he does. He just golfs and collects Bitcoin. It's just a. It's not a good situation for the country. And meanwhile, we're all here paying, you know, exorbitant amounts of money for gas and eggs and milk. And I'm not saying that Trump could fix that by snapping his fingers. He can't, of course. So I do give the guy.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's not helping.

[Brian Green]

He's not helping. Yeah, that's right. It's not helping. Yeah. And we don't need to save America. Whatever. Anyway. Okay.

[Crazy Orange (character/song)]

All right.

[Brian Green]

A couple things I want to say before the next break. The Gist, the show that I have been on a couple of times, I've been. I've been a guest over at the Gist. It was a long running. Almost 15 years. 13 years. Something like that. Longest running daily news podcast ever. It used to be a slate. Then Mike Pesca, the host, took it independent. He's been a friend of the show. He's been here on the show. Yeah, it's great. And I've been on the show, his show, a couple times. He actually has a number of different podcasts, and I've been on a couple of them. Mike stepped away from the Gist, he did to go take a corporate job in an. In another podcasting division. It's his business to share whether or not he. Where he went. But anyway, Mike was kind enough to ask me and a couple of other people if we would keep the Gist alive by repurposing new interviews he hasn't aired yet, and then old stuff by doing what's called an intro and an outro, donuting some of those episodes each week. So I will be guest hosting the Gist. I'm doing. I'm actually guest hosting this week, so you can tune into the Gist and hear me. And then I'll be doing that every couple of weeks. I'll be guest hosting the Gist. Guest hosting the best of episodes of the Gist. So go take a listen to that. I also wanted to let you know. Do you remember the Westboro Baptist Church? Does that sound familiar to you? It was the cult. I'm gonna say this. I'm not gonna say the actual word, but God hates. Do you remember this?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

God hates. Slur For. For gay people. They are like this vile cult that would follow, like, when there would be a funeral for a soldier, they would show up and say these vile things. I mean, the most vile, racist, you know, slanderous. It's just the most terrible things that they would say that they believed basically, that their version, their very unique version of Christianity was the right one. There's about a hundred people at this church in this cult, and everybody else on Earth was damned to hell for many different reasons. And they made a lot of news and a lot of noise for being so vile and so hatred. Howard Stern used to have the leader of this cult on, and Howard really took him to task, like, made fun of him a lot on his show. Anyway, it's been around for a long time. The guy who started that, his granddaughter is named Megan Phelps Roper. Megan Phelps Roper woke up one day and decided she was going to be the new leader of the church. And she woke up one day and everything changed for her. She was like, this is wrong. I. I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah, good. Exactly. And she became a mom, and she's been on Rogan and she's been on Dax, and she's been on the View, and she's like. She's made her rounds kind of talking about how she changed her life and why her views have changed and how much she now wants to be the antithesis of. Of everything that has to do with her family, who is still in this cult. So Megan put a podcast together with some friends of mine from a production company called Longview, talking about her time in the church, reflecting back on some Bible passages from now the point of view of someone who really The Bible did a lot of damage in her life. It's a fascinating eight part series called Bookkeeper. And so if you want something a little bit more meat and potatoes than the commercial break, you can go listen to Bookkeeper starring Megan Phelps Roper. Some friends of ours put it together, so I thought I, I would share that. And I think she's nice.

[Chris Hoadley]

I'm gonna check that out.

[Brian Green]

I think she's gonna be on Dax Shepard, like at the end of, end of August. Armchair Expert. That'll be maybe her second or her third time there. And I've listened to the other two episodes and she's just a fat. Like, imagine growing up in that environment.

[Chris Hoadley]

No, I've, I mean, I've watched those shows too where they, you know, people break free.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

And it's just, I can't even imagine.

[Brian Green]

I can't imagine. And yeah, like what, what you can hear in this is like a real, like the Bible. I, I know these, this production company and they've, they're the guys behind the New York Times show, the daily. So like the number one podcast in the world. And, and it's an amazing podcast and it's been around for a long time. These guys did that podcast. They created that podcast. They're no longer there, but they created the podcast. Andy Mills, Matt Bull. So I know that they were going to a lot of debates about what to call this particular podcast. And for a while they wanted to call it the Bible. The, like the Bible Club, the Bible Book Club. But they came to the conclusion that the word Bible holds such weight in so many different ways for a lot of people. A lot of people think great things when they hear the word Bible. A lot of people have ptsd. A lot of people like me. It' not my favorite. I don't love the dogma in the b, you know, all that other stuff. But so by calling it Bookkeeper, I think they, they smartly got away from that. So it's a different kind of podcast. But I'm, it's, they have episode number three is out already, I think, and I'm finding it and I, I get to listen to them a little bit ahead of time, but I'm finding it to be a very fascinating listen.

[Chris Hoadley]

I love that kind of stuff.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And Megan's a great orator of her own story and how it wraps in. And now she's a mom and she's like a super sweet, super smart, super well adjusted human being for having grown up.

[Chris Hoadley]

Where does she live?

[Brian Green]

I don't know. I think Michigan, I think, in Michigan. But she's just like a normal person, but with a lot of perspective.

[Chris Hoadley]

They're not having Gramp camp with.

[Brian Green]

No, no. Graham's camp with Megan Phelps Roper. No, you wouldn't want to make.

[Astrid]

She's not sending her kids.

[Brian Green]

Hey, we're gonna burn some books, kill some gay people. Come on down.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no, no. All right, just. Let's take a short break, and then we'll be back. I guess maybe I'll take this gum out of my mouth, too, because I know it sounds obnoxious. All right, bye.

[Rachel]

Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us, and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] TheCommercialBreak Best to you and Astrid. Especially Astrid.

[Astrid]

I saw you in there in the VIP bottle service in Hennessy? My heart went crazy? It skipped a beat? I thought that you could be with me? I walk over to you, we lock eyes? You're my wife and I real you're with my friend and it's no surprise Watching you two makes my flag rise? I have a cut cut crush on you? I have a cut cut crush on you? I hide in the closet, let you do what you do? I have a cut, cut crush on you? So, baby, grab your phone, start to swipe? We need to spend some time getting it right? I don't want you to be alone tonight? I want you to cheat without a fight? When you're in the bed with my favorite guy? I hide myself and try not cry? I love you, lady, but I won't lie? My therapist even wonders why I have a cut, cut crush on you? I have a cut cut crush on you? I hide in the closet, let you do what you do? I have a cut cut crush on you?

[Chris Hoadley]

The sacks.

[Brian Green]

All right, thoughts on spam phone calls? Asks one of our listeners. What do you mean, thoughts on spam? Because I have no thoughts on spam calls. They're.

[Chris Hoadley]

I get so many every day.

[Brian Green]

As a business owner, it's so crazy. It's crazy as a block.

[Chris Hoadley]

I block and delete. I block and delete.

[Brian Green]

It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.

[Chris Hoadley]

No, because like, how many number combinations?

[Brian Green]

Billions. And that's the problem. And they buy them by the tens of thousands and then they just run through them. There are whole, like, sweet. I've seen it online because I've used the commercial break, like to buy our commercial break phone numbers.

[Chris Hoadley]

I mean, just in the past few days, I've got just. I this. I mean, these are voicemails.

[Brian Green]

Unbelievable.

[Chris Hoadley]

Just. It's all spam.

[Brian Green]

It's all spam. It's all spam. And as a business owner, and I'm sure you get this too, Sean, because I think Sean owns the wildlife business. Is that if I don't get offered money by a million billion different people.

[Crazy Orange (character/song)]

Come on.

[Chris Hoadley]

I'm approved for loans all over the place.

[Brian Green]

I'll get you a million dollars by the end of the day. What? One guy said, this is the one. This is my favorite spam text that I get. What's your email? So I can send over the routing number for the million dollars that you. That you've been approved for. And I'm like, a million dollars. It's so untrue. First of all, I wouldn't be approved for $10,000, let alone a million dollars. Second of all, I don't know what can of worms that I opened somewhere, but it is just hundreds of these a week. It's insane. And just stop with the spam phone calls. I wonder how much, how often this works. It must work. At some point. At some level.

[Chris Hoadley]

It has to. I wouldn't keep doing it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You remember like they said you could put your name on the do not call list.

[Chris Hoadley]

And I did that years ago and I even rechecked. I mean, I've gone down a rabbit hole with this. I even like got on the, you know, the credit bureaus. Websites.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chris Hoadley]

To try and like take myself off. I think maybe that hurt me.

[Brian Green]

I think so too, because I just logged in. Yeah. I use a service called Incogni.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, I know. I thought about doing that too. And I was doing Lifelock or whatever.

[Brian Green]

And it just doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. The second that the Congress approved making the cell phone records public, it's just our cell phone numbers public, tied to a name it all. It all changed. And now we're inexorably tied to these spammers. And now with AI, it's even worse because, you know, I now have the Apple screening thing. So you, if you're not in my phone, you're going to get an Apple screener. And that's just basically someone who says, hey, say your name and we'll see if we can get a hold of the person, right? So when someone calls my phone number and they've never called me before, I don't have them on my phone, right. AI voice says, you know, please say your name at the beep and we'll try and get a hold of the person you're trying to reach. And now the AI bots on the other end, it's like the AI bots are having conversations with each other is basically what's happening. They'll say, hello, hello, hello. And then my Apple bot will be like, please say your name. And it's like, brian, Brian. And then it's like, brian, Brian. Yeah, Brian. Brian is calling.

[Chris Hoadley]

And I know, it's so bad.

[Brian Green]

And I'm Jim. And I'm Bob. And I'm Tim. And I'm Todd. Yes, and I'm Alice. And I'm all kind of different people, none of which I really am. But here's the good news. I've gotten so many spam phone calls and tuned it out to such a degree that now even the legitimate people who I owe money to, I just ignore altogether. I just ignore everybody. Unless you're in my phone, I'm not answering. And even then it's hard to get a hold of me. I'm just.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

I like it that way. I don't want you to expect me to answer the phone when I call because I am a miserable son of a bitch and I just don't want to talk to you.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Text me. Text.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's a text.

[Negative Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And then, even then, it might take me a day to get back to you. It's just the way that I am. Not because I'm trying to be rude, but because I have really de emphasized over the last decade of my life, I have de Emphasized people's ability to get a hold of each other so fucking quickly. I remember a time when I would go out with friends. No cell phones, maybe a beeper.

[Crazy Orange (character/song)]

Beep, beep, beep.

[Chris Hoadley]

91 1.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but that's me. Someone on my drug dealing days. Yeah, yeah. When I had no drugs, but I would tell people to call me if they Needed them and then I would go take their money, take their drugs and then give them a little bit back, dilute them down. That's right. Yeah. I was playing middleman to the middleman. If you, if I was your plug, as they call it these days, then you were a real shithead, like, you know what I'm saying? Then you had no contact. But I remember a time when, when you would go out and you would come home at 10 o', clock, 11 o', clock, 1 o' clock in the morning and there was an answering machine and you would press play and if someone was trying to get a hold of you, there's the message. And you likely wouldn't call them back to the next day unless it was an emergency. Because you know what, that's just the way it is. Or it was like the girl you liked or something, right?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And that's the way it was. There was no email. You had, maybe you had email but you would check it every three days. We have now normalized this high cortisol, high stressful environment where everybody feels they need to be able to get a hold of anybody within a minute and if they don't, then it's rude, unprofessional, or there's something wrong. It's just not true. So I have taken the attitude and I told you this, I've said this every, for seven years in the show I've said this. I check my emails twice a day, sometimes three times a day unless there is like some project that I need a response on. And that's the way, that's the way I'm doing it. I check it one, when I get up and I have my coffee and I'm doing my thing too.

[Chris Hoadley]

I do a morning and an afternoon check.

[Brian Green]

That's right. And then, you know, right toward the end of the day, 3:30 maybe, I check again, I follow up, I say, great, now I have Claude helping me. I say, Claude, review my emails, tell me, pop up things that are important, give me a to do list. That way I don't drop the ball and then I don't feel any pressure because no one has ever gotten anything different from me, from email. And I do the same thing with text messages. Chrissy, my wife, my parents, maybe my brothers and some other important people in my life. Those are the people that they can expect a response, timely, if it's needed. If like you're, if you're saying something that I need to respond to right then. And if not, then I take my time, I think about It. And I respond later. That's what I do. When Chrissy says, what time should I come over and record today? I respond the next day. And I say, sorry, we forgot to record yesterday.

[Chris Hoadley]

Or you say, I'm still in New York.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Or I say, I'm still in New York. That's right. Well, Sean's saying he has to answer unknown phone calls due to the applications and resumes sent out. Oh, okay. That. That I. That I can understand. Like, if I put something out in the universe and I don't know who's going to be calling me, then I certainly will pay attention to the phone. Like, if I'm expecting a phone call. Yeah. So, you know, but an example. My mom went to the hospital. She fell, broke her back, and. Or her back was broken, and then she fell. I'm not really sure what happened. And she had to have emergency surgery. My mom did. Those nurses were trying to get ahold of me for, like, four hours.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But because I didn't know the phone number, I had no idea. Only when the nurse called from the hospital line, they were trying to call from, like, their. You know, the nurses now, they carry around these. These cell phones, and they'll call you from. That's like their work cell phone. They'll call you from their work cell phone. Right. Makes sense. Okay. But only when they picked up the phone and called me from the actual hospital where it said hospital, did I even recognize that something was going on. So all this to say, normalize being normal. That's what I have to say. Normalize being normal.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's anxiety.

[Brian Green]

Of course it is. We all live in this high state of anxiety. And I'm not saying I'm any different. I also. Look at me. Do I look like a guy who's not living in a high state of anxiety? But there are things that we can do with each other to help lessen that burden. And I think one of those things should be. You're right, Sean. Is eliminate spam phone calls altogether. If you don't know somebody and you have a business and you're trying to market to people, unless they opt in, you should not, by law, be allowed to call them. Right. Send them a mailer. That's what mail is for. Mail is for trash. That's what mail is for. Okay. That's what it's for. Trash and bills. You're not going to pay.

[Chris Hoadley]

All right?

[Brian Green]

Let's be honest about it, all right? Otherwise, you should have your sanity protected. But then let's go a step inward, beyond Spam phone calls and people who are calling you for bill collectors or whatever. Let's go step inward. The people in your work environment, the people you work with or you're doing business with, they shouldn't expect that you're just going to answer the phone every five seconds for them. Unless you're in an emergent emergency response type of situation like Sean does wildlife removal. Right. So I can see how if someone had a real problem, they would want to get a hold of Sean quickly.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

The nature of his business is to respond quickly. Ambulance, doctors, lawyers, whatever. But let's go to step further inward and let's say your family member like your children or your wife, let's normalize not responding to them for days. Why, babe? Why? What do you need to know? I'm in New York. Why would I. What do we need to talk about? I'm in New York. Yeah, we have the find my.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh yeah, we do too.

[Brian Green]

Of course. You got to have fine my. If you're, if you're. If you're an adult, grown adult in a grown relationship, you have to have fine my. If your spouse or someone that you've been living with or someone that you love is not allowing you to do fine mai, you should immediately double check this relationship.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, that is correct.

[Brian Green]

There should be absolutely no problem with. Understand my wife. I have a rule with my wife. She needs no permission to do anything. Actually, that's her rule, not mine.

[Astrid]

But.

[Brian Green]

Okay. You get what I'm saying, right? The permit, the. The permission structure is this. There is no permission structure.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

It's just you're an adult, do what you want to do. Yeah, right. But I have fine mine. So if I'm ever curious, I just look and see where she is.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And my kids are going to have the same thing when they have their cell phones. I'm going to say you're fine my is on. But you know, Astor was telling me one of her friends has a like a 15 year old daughter, 14 year old daughter. And that daughter they have figured out that if girls get together at one of the houses, right. Everybody leaves their cell phone down in a basement at that house. And then like one person brings the phone, right. One person who's cool as cool parents.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Who doesn't give a shit whatever doesn't have fine mine. And so everybody thinks they're down in the basement and they're really visiting boys houses. But you know what? God bless it, those teenagers, they won't

[Chris Hoadley]

be on their phone.

[Brian Green]

They won't be on Their phone. That's what I said to Astrid. I said, at least they're not scrolling Instagram. You know, looking at girls in bikinis and wondering how they get that hot. Right? So that's what I say. There. There are not enough third places in the United States of America for these teenagers to go and to hang out. So if. If the worst thing that they do is leave their. We did the same shit when we were kids and my kids are going to do the same shit. I'm about to. Karma is about to be a real bitch for me. But let them go out and have a little bit of dangerous fun. You know what I'm saying? Not, yeah, not like super dangerous fun, but like dangerous fun like sneaking out to a boy's house. Yeah, not. Not my girls, but you know, my wife's friend's girls. Let them go sneak out, go to the boy's house, you know, meet up in the woods and, you know, smoke cigarettes or whatever. You know what I'm saying? This is the. This is the fruit of the womb, Chrissy. This is what being a teenager is all about. And we should allow our teenagers to do this. Right?

[Chris Hoadley]

I agree.

[Brian Green]

Without spam phone calls. And yes, you should have find my. But yes, there should be a way that you can get around it. Got it. Okay. All right. That is Brian's wisdom of the day. So if you ding.

[Chris Hoadley]

Know what you should know or what things you should. What was that thing? What things you should know or something

[Brian Green]

now you know or things who know. The NBC now you know. Now you know. And knowing is happening. The battle. There you go. All right. Okay. A little bit of a short episode, but we will be back here in just a couple of minutes. So if you're inclined and if you've got time. I don't know what you do with your life. If you, you know, got enough time to sit around, listen to Chrissy and I for two hours. But we'll be back in a few minutes on the stream and then of course, we'll be back tomorrow. Regularly scheduled programming. Thank you very much. Some people said they didn't get an episode yesterday and. And I'm not sure why. Some people did, some people didn't. I don't know why. I'll look into it. Yeah, sorry. I don't know. Ideal meal.

[Rachel]

Yo.

[Brian Green]

No, say I'm taking Spanish classes on duolingo. Right. Picked up the duolingo there was.

[Chris Hoadley]

There's nothing on mine either.

[Brian Green]

Interesting. Okay, maybe there is a problem. So I'll check it out. Okay, thanks. For give me a heads up on the. On the phone. I'm taking duolingo Spanish classes. And every night it pops up and it reminds me it's time to do your Spanish lessons. 10, 10 minutes a day is what I've agreed to do with myself with the app. Right? But duolingo is getting really, like, fucking fancy and good. And so two things about Duolingo. Number one is that in part of the lessons now I'm in. I'm like, in the intermediary and the intermediate. And you have to have a FaceTime phone call with an AI cartoon character. Yes. In Spanish. So yesterday, I'm on the plane after my kid calls me. We're just about to take off, and duolingo's call, like, this little Spanish character is like, FaceTiming me. And I'm like. The lady next to me was like,

[Chris Hoadley]

what is going on?

[Brian Green]

What is you FaceTime with cartoon characters? Yes, I do. Number two is, I thought the. Wow. I'm really, like, they're giving me complicated Spanish sentences and paragraphs and conversations, and I'm keeping up. I'm so proud of myself. I must be getting close to being fluent in Spanish. And I. And because I'm on, like, I'm on lesson number, you know, 397. I'm like, this is awesome. How many lessons are there? 3622. I'm not even in 10% yet. Okay. It's a lifelong passion of mine to learn the language that I should. I mean, I understand it. To speak the language that I understand. All right. Just like English. I'm learning how to speak that, too. YouTube.com TheCommercialBreak Please do us a favor, like, subscribe and follow us so that you get notified whenever we stream here. Also, we'd like to let you know you can go to Instagram at the commercialbreak. Check out Bookkeeper and check me out on the gist. Let's keep that. Let's keep that going as long as we can. Two podcasts for Brian. That's what he needs, another podcast to do. All right, well, listen, I guess that's all I can do for just this moment.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

We'll be back in a few. But I love you.

[Chris Hoadley]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

I say best to you. Best you out there on the podcast and streaming audience. Thanks for joining us. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must, must say goodbye. 5:30,

[Crazy Orange (character/song)]

Sam.