Marry That Ghost, Girl!

Summary

The Commercial Break
Episode: “Marry That Ghost, Girl!”
Release Date: January 19, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break takes listeners on a sarcastic, freewheeling ride through pop culture highlights—most notably recapping the Emmy Awards—and then launches into a skeptical roast of celebrity medium Teresa Caputo, the “Long Island Medium.” True to form, Bryan and Krissy weave in personal anecdotes and sharp-witted banter, layering critiques of television trends with over-the-top skepticism toward psychic phenomena. The tone is irreverent, self-aware, and packed with genuine friendship chemistry—like eavesdropping on the funniest people at the bar.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Atlanta Weather & Parenting Struggles

• [01:10 – 02:51] The episode opens with Bryan describing wintry Atlanta mornings and the comedically Herculean task of bundling up his kids for school—joking about layers upon layers, likening his son to the “kid from A Christmas Story.”
• Relatable parenting chaos emerges, including “pee on the floor time.”

2. SNL, Lorne Michaels, and Tina Fey

• [02:51 – 04:45] Brief history: Lorne Michaels’ 50-year run at SNL is discussed, with mention of his plan to step down after the 50th season.
• Interesting industry tidbit: Lorne’s tight contracts and the “derivative works” clause that strings alumni to his production empire.
• Tina Fey cited as Lorne’s preferred successor. Krissy and Bryan praise her as the ideal next show-runner and muse on SNL’s evolving magic and the importance of “lightning-in-a-bottle” TV casts.

“Some comedians out there say if they didn’t get the SNL job, they say, thank God I didn’t, because it would have quashed some opportunities...”
— Bryan [03:25]

3. Changing TV Habits & The Fragmented Media Landscape

• [06:01 – 06:23] Krissy notes how “appointment TV” is fading in the age of streaming and infinite content options.

4. Emmys Recap: Comedy and Drama Series

• [07:02 – 14:37]
• Bryan and Krissy run through the Emmy nominees and winners in comedy and drama, reflecting on shows like Abbott Elementary, Barry, The Bear, Only Murders in the Building, Ted Lasso, Wednesday, Succession, and The Crown.
• Specific shout-outs and critiques:
  • Both love The Bear for its “brilliant television” and restaurant-industry realness.
  • Nostalgia for Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations and his memoir Kitchen Confidential.
  • “The Crown” inspires googling historical figures.
  • Succession and Better Call Saul praised as “all outstanding choices.”

“Anthony Bourdain is a spirit animal of mine. I do miss him very much.”
— Bryan [09:28]

5. Pop Culture Award Shows & Comedic Hosting

• [27:03 – 29:06]
• They dissect the thanklessness of hosting awards shows, referencing Joe Coy’s Golden Globes stint and the impossible task of roasting celebrities, especially compared to Amy Poehler and Tina Fey’s successful runs.

“No one wins in that situation... so when everybody from Chris Rock to everybody is saying, ‘No, I don’t want to host any of those award shows anymore,’ I get it.”
— Bryan [28:17]

6. Reality TV Review

• [18:17 – 19:49]
• Quick takes on RuPaul’s Drag Race, Top Chef (“consistently fantastic”), The Amazing Race, and Survivor. Krissy recalls wanting to be on The Amazing Race with her dad.

7. “Long Island Medium” Teresa Caputo Deep-Dive

• [29:40 – 57:11]

• The centerpiece of the episode: Bryan and Krissy dissect Teresa Caputo’s “medium” routine. They clarify they're not mocking belief in the afterlife or ghosts, just Caputo’s opportunistic, theatrical fakery.

• They break down her techniques:

  • Generalized “cold read” statements (“Who here lost a husband?” “Does anybody know someone with jewelry?”)
  • Planting ideas and leading questions (“Know that this is a message from your loved ones”)
  • Piggybacking/Piggyfronting: Jumping to another audience member if a guess lands flat.

• Hosts’ Hypotheses:

  • Caputo’s elaborate hair possibly hides a communication device or earpiece.
  • Producers collect pre-show intel from audience members (names, stories, Facebook research).
  • Inconsistency in “spirit messages”—sometimes they’re “symbols,” sometimes full conversations.

“This is a gypsy parlor trick that she is doing on a mass communication platform like television or radio or podcasting. She is just using this… to her great financial benefit, by the way, we believe.”
— Bryan [31:00]

Memorable Roast Moments

"I'm wearing her thong. I've got a thong on it connects me right on my ass."
— Bryan, riffing on an audience member’s “connection” [36:31]

“She’s getting hit by a ghost penis in my back… that’s my sign for he wants to consummate the relationship one last time.”
— Bryan, mocking Caputo’s physical “signals” [33:28 & 47:05]

“Did your husband use any term of endearment at the altar? Did your husband say, ‘I do’? He did—see, amazing.”
— Bryan [39:58]

Krissy regularly jumps in with sardonic one-liners, e.g., “Did he used to call you ‘darling’ or... or anything else that means, you know... sweetie, you old hag?” [39:48]

Specific Timestamps for Caputo Segment:

• [29:40] Introduction to Caputo skepticism
• [33:28 onward] Breakdown of Caputo’s reading on The Meredith Vieira Show
• [41:46] Moment-by-moment debunking, making fun of “signs” like white doves, jewelry, physical sensations
• [50:16] Discussion about audience plants and social media research

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Notable Quotes & Banter (with Timestamps)

• On SNL’s Evolution:
  “And there are good guests and there are good bits and great writers… but do you feel like sometimes, like, it lost its luster over the last couple of years?”
  — Bryan [04:46]

• On “The Bear”:
  “Any show about… cooking and that restaurant industry… reminds me a little bit of, you know, an Anthony Bourdain type thing.”
  — Krissy [09:06]

• On Caputo’s Methods:
  “We also believe we know some of her tricks, which is that her hair… clearly fake, is sitting on top of her head like that because she has a communication device… installed in top of that hair.”
  — Bryan [31:47]

• On Award Show Hosting:
  “Thankless job. You can’t win. So many people have tried and lost… you try to be funny, you’re gonna offend somebody, everyone’s gonna make fun of you…”
  — Bryan [27:10]

• On Caputo’s Generalizations:
  “If you believe you can contact the dead… we’re not making fun of that… It’s the fact that Teresa Caputo is so wrong about so many things.”
  — Bryan [29:52]

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Additional Highlights

• Ongoing TCB Tone and Chemistry

  • The duo’s off-script, sarcastic riffing is central (“I'm not up for woodworking. I like to use my mouth instead.” — Bryan [13:37])
  • Recurring self-deprecating jokes: “Comedy is a hit or miss type thing, as you know, if you've listened to The Commercial Break…” [29:07]

• Listener Engagement

  • Multiple invitations to call, text, or visit their website for stickers—playfully meta interruptions by a cheeky “show announcer” voice.

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Conclusion

This episode exemplifies The Commercial Break’s strength: irreverent, “anti-influencer” comedy, playful and biting in equal measure. The hosts transition seamlessly from their own chaos to deconstructing pop culture, all while hilariously dismantling pseudo-psychic spectacle with a mix of skepticism and improv absurdity.
Whether you come for television snark, parenting chaos, or “ghost penis” jokes, you’re guaranteed a wild, unfiltered escape.

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Notable Segments (Timestamps):

• Atlanta shivers & parenting: [01:10–02:51]
• SNL, Tina Fey succession: [02:51–04:45]
• Emmy Awards run-down: [07:02–14:37 & 23:37 onwards]
• Teresa Caputo roast: [29:40–57:11]
• Most savage Caputo takedowns: [33:28, 39:58, 47:05, 53:35]

“That’s all you get now!”

Transcript

[Brian Green]

Honey, I am straighter than a pair of chopsticks laying flat on a kitchen table. Hetero. Hetero. Hetero. Cunt. I eat vagina for lunch. Ah. Honey, I am straighter than the posture of a military soldier. Honey, I am so straight, I have never even seen a man before. Okay. I don't know what a man looks like, tastes like, or feels like or smells like or. On this episode of the commercial break.

[Kristen Joy]

Maybe that's why she wears a hair like that. It's kind of like a helmet.

[Brian Green]

I know. It's the one padding. It's the one thing forget. She's getting hit in the head left and right. I just got hit by a ghost penis in my back. That's my sign for he wants to consummate the relationship one last time. If you remember how he said ghost was a good representation. I'm here to facilitate a love making session between you and your dead boyfriend. Yes. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is O Captain, My captain, Kristen Joy. Only best to you, Chris. The best you out there in the podcast universe. Welcome back from a cold, cold. TCB Studios in Atlanta. Holy shit.

[Kristen Joy]

And I was 18 when I left.

[Brian Green]

This nine when I took the. The rugrats to the place where I dropped them daycare that I call school. The small relief we get during the day from all the chaos at school, but, man, we had to layer them up. They sound like a message, like, layer them up. So my. My boy, one of my boys is wearing, like, pajama pants, long socks, extra pants, a jacket, a sweater, another jacket. I mean, he's got the whole thing on.

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So we get in the car and.

[Kristen Joy]

I have to picture him like the little kid from the Christmas Story.

[Brian Green]

That's exactly what he looked like. I've got a picture of it here. Let me show you this picture of it. I won't show it to the audience. Try and protect my children from my look. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy]

Oh, my God. It does look like it.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. He's like, all stuffed. So we get in the car and I literally had to adjust the straps on all the car seats because I could not fit them in there. I'm like, well. And then of course, the second we get in the car and we're like, you know, halfway to the school, one of my kids is like, I gotta pee. And I'm like, no, because when kids say they have to pee, they had to pee five minutes ago.

[Kristen Joy]

It's going to happen quickly.

[Brian Green]

They had to pee five minutes ago. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they wait so long to pee. I guess I do the same thing sometimes, but I'm an adult. I can control myself. Yeah, we have a lot of accidents in the house because, you know, occasionally it's just pee on the floor time. Yeah. It's like blue. They're taking after blue. They just pee on the floor.

[Kristen Joy]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

I read an interesting article that, you know, Lorne Michaels, the director, an executive producer of Saturday night live for 50 years. I think coming, going on 50 years, next season's going to be their 50th season or 50th year, whatever it is.

[Kristen Joy]

That's crazy.

[Brian Green]

And he has signed on with NBC till at least the end of the 50th season. So 2025, I think it started 1975. So 2025. But in a conversation, in an interview, when asked who should take over Saturday Night Live after your iron grip, because he's like, we talked to Rosebud about this.

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Earlier this week in every aspect, every single thing is. It has to pass. Pass the Lorne Michaels smell test in some. I'd like to do a little side note here. Some people, some comedians out there say if they didn't get the SNL job, they say, thank God I didn't get the SNL job because it would have quashed some opportunities in my career because Lauren Michaels, if you know all the Adam Sandler movies, think of the. Some of the Bill Murray movie. Bill Murray. Dan Aykroyd. Think of some of those movies, Tina Fey, they were all produced by Lorne Michaels because they're under contract with Lorne Michaels for a certain period of time. And then they have to like, they call it like, and derivative works contract, meaning if you have derivative works.

[Kristen Joy]

I didn't think about that.

[Brian Green]

Like Will Ferrell and I thought I.

[Kristen Joy]

Just wanted to be involved.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You know, just nice guy. I don't think so. I don't think that's just a nice guy. I mean, I'm not saying he's not a nice guy. Apparently, he, he can be. I wish I. Next time Rosebud comes out, I want to get into it a little bit about Lorne Michaels. I don't think she's gonna talk shit about her boss, but I'd like to know, like, what really goes on behind the scenes with Lorne. As if I'm an investigative journalist who's going to find out anything interesting on the commercial break. But so he. He was asked who should take over, and his almost immediate response was Tina Fey. Tina Fey should take over Saturday Night Live. She would be in good hands.

[Kristen Joy]

I love her.

[Brian Green]

I love her, too. And I do think that would be a good fit. I think the Saturday Night Live needs some fresh blood in there a little bit. I still watch it on occasion. And, you know, we're all subject to Instagram reels of the latest and greatest Saturday Night Live clips. And there are good guests and there are good bits and there are great writers on that show, but I don't know that. Do you feel like sometimes like it lost its luster over the last couple of years? A little bit.

[Kristen Joy]

Well, there's always going to be those seasons, too, where they kind of dip and they're not quite as funny as some other. And I think it has a lot to do with the actual people, the actors, the characters that are on there. I mean, now, anything that Will Ferrell did just seems hilarious.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You go back and watch those episodes.

[Kristen Joy]

Farley.

[Brian Green]

Farley, Mike Myers, Dana Carve, Kristen Wiig. Kristen Wiig was hilarious.

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah. So there's a lot to do with that. But, yeah, you can't hit a home run every time.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And there's. I do agree with you. There's. Sometimes there's magic in a bottle. Like imagine friends with different cast members. You can't imagine friends with different cast members. It's like it is lightning in a bottle. That happened. The chemistry inside of the room, it came across on screen. And when you mix and match, sometimes I think it can be hard to figure out what that chemistry is.

[Kristen Joy]

Well, plus, they. It used to be appointment. You know, things have changed much to where everything's on demand. You can watch a million different things and a million different times. So, you know, shows that were appointment TV because you had a limited choice of things that you could watch.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy]

Now have become kind of splintered, fractured, not as much viewership.

[Brian Green]

That is some really good insight on your behalf. Look at this TV critic Chrissy Hoady over here. Even nasally, she sounds. I know.

[Kristen Joy]

I am a little Daisy. I'm a little sick.

[Brian Green]

Well, everybody's sick in this town.

[Kristen Joy]

Everybody's sick in general cough, which I've been reading about in the news. It's like a thing with this cough.

[Brian Green]

It's the vaccine. We've been. We got the. We got the. The vax. We've been back. The 5G towers turned on, and all of a sudden we all have a cough that's Right. So, Chip, Microchip, Speaking of appointment tv, did you watch any of the Emmys?

[Kristen Joy]

I did not. On the next day, I was like, oh, the Emmys were on. I was seeing all the different parties. And best takeaway from the Emmys.

[Brian Green]

Well, apparently football is the one thing that everybody watched and not the Emmys, so. But.

[Kristen Joy]

Right.

[Brian Green]

I did watch some of the Emmys. I watched the opening, which I thought was pretty brilliant. And Tina Fey and Amy Poehler revived their weekend for this.

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Opening bit that they did, which I thought was really well done. And so I thought I'd run through some of the winners and see how many of them we know.

[Kristen Joy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Or how many of them we've seen, and then we can give our opinion.

[Kristen Joy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

All right. Just. I'm not gonna go through the whole entire list, but I'll go through some of them, actually. I'll go through the entire list because you know why? We have 75 hours on this show just this week alone. So you guys have to suffer through it. All right, Best out, Outstanding Comedy Series, Abbott Elementary. I've seen a few episodes.

[Kristen Joy]

Yes. It's cute.

[Brian Green]

Barry. I've seen most of Barry.

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

The Bear. I am just getting into jury duty. And the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

[Kristen Joy]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

I've watched one or two episodes only murders in the Building. Watch the first season. Ted Lasso. Haven't seen. And Wednesday. Don't even know what. Oh, Wednesday is the.

[Kristen Joy]

Wednesday.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah. Okay. That's. What's a comedy series.

[Kristen Joy]

I. I guess so. I mean, it did have some comedy in it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kristen Joy]

Wednesday Adams. The Adams family.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was some argument about whether or not the Bear was a comedy series also.

[Kristen Joy]

That's true.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But it's a 30 minute show, which I think kind of denotes. Like, traditionally comedy shows are 30 minutes, or at least they call them sitcoms are 30 minutes. But I've now gotten into it and I see how it could swing either way. It's a drama. I call it a drama.

[Kristen Joy]

A drame.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Kristen Joy]

It's a great show.

[Brian Green]

So the winner was.

[Kristen Joy]

I watched all of by the way.

[Brian Green]

And I love you. Have you watched the Bear?

[Kristen Joy]

I have. I watched all of the Bear.

[Brian Green]

You watched all of the Bear. Okay, so the bear was the winner. Right.

[Kristen Joy]

This was the second season that they just found that they. Yeah, because.

[Brian Green]

Yes, but because of the way that the strike happened, they actually are winning for the first season because the second season didn't qualify. Because whatever. For whatever fucking reason. Okay, so the bear. And what are your thoughts on the bear. I am so into it. Just like three episodes in. I'm so into it. Yeah, yeah. It's brilliant television.

[Kristen Joy]

It really isn't. It's something different. And I love any show about too, that involves cooking and that restaurant industry. Restaurant industry reminds me a little bit of, you know, an Anthony Bourdain type thing where I think that's what he's going off to go be this big time chef and kind of came back.

[Brian Green]

Came back to his roots. Yeah, well, Anthony went off to be a big time chef and never came back to his roof.

[Kristen Joy]

He became the world.

[Brian Green]

Anthony Bourdain is.

[Kristen Joy]

I miss him so much.

[Brian Green]

A spirit animal of mine. I do miss him very much. And I watch constantly. SiriusXM now has. Whatever it is, CNN Originals channel. And so they play no Reservations on the. On the radio.

[Kristen Joy]

I could watch that show anytime, anywhere.

[Brian Green]

I don't care how many times I've seen the episode. I'll watch it again. There's some new insight that I get from. From Anthony. What a brilliant, brilliant man that I just identify with so much. Not that I'm brilliant, but I identify with a guy who, like a. A restaurant guy. Right.

[Kristen Joy]

His books are really good. Kitchen Confidential. And then there was another one.

[Brian Green]

Kitchen Confidential is amazing. You know, that guy got his start. Did you. I mean, you read Kif Kitchen Confidential. So. So you know that apparently his mom kept poking him to write an article and submit it into the.

[Kristen Joy]

That part.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah. And submitted in one of the local, like New York Times or something like that. And he was like, what, What? What are you talking about? And then he wrote the article, he sent it in, and he became like this sensation writing sensation overnight. And then.

[Kristen Joy]

And then he wrote the book.

[Brian Green]

Well, a married couple, like, who had a production team who wasn't doing anything with themselves said, hey, Anthony, what if we paid for you to travel around the world and just kind of interpret what you're seeing in different food cultures around the world? He had never traveled, ever. He had been a heroin addict. Like he was in kind of a tough spot. He had been kind of a. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy]

Kicking around New York.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's right. And he didn't even get nominated for anything. So why are we talking about it? Okay, here we go. Outstanding drama series and. Or another one of the 75,000 Star wars derivative works, I think. Better Call Saul, the Crown, House of Dragon, Last, the Last of Us Succession, the White Lotus Yellow Jackets, Seen Everyone but Andor and House of Dragon.

[Kristen Joy]

Oh, I watched all of those go over again.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Andor Better Call.

[Kristen Joy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Better Call Saul.

[Kristen Joy]

Watch that. Yes.

[Brian Green]

House of Dragon.

[Kristen Joy]

Watch that.

[Brian Green]

The Crown.

[Kristen Joy]

Watch that.

[Brian Green]

The Last of Us.

[Kristen Joy]

The Last of Us.

[Brian Green]

I did not.

[Kristen Joy]

What?

[Brian Green]

I couldn't get so good.

[Kristen Joy]

I couldn't get into it. The one on HBO with. About the video game.

[Brian Green]

It's a. Yeah, it's a derivative work of a video game.

[Kristen Joy]

I watched half of it, and then I just kind of fell off.

[Brian Green]

The most brilliant. One of the most brilliant episodes.

[Kristen Joy]

I think I just couldn't watch another show about the apocalypse.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, no, I hear you. And it's very. It feels very intense. And given the time in space that we're living in 2020 or back in 2023, it did feel a little too on the nose. In other words, I felt like, oh, this is what's going to happen to us in, like, six months from now.

[Kristen Joy]

Right, Exactly. So I didn't watch that. All of that.

[Brian Green]

The most brilliant. One of the most brilliant episodes of television that I watched last year was the episode that. And I think he. He won for this a couple of awards where the couple. The gay couple who are living on their own in this town where everybody else has died, passed away, gone, whatever it is. Nick Offerman.

[Kristen Joy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Who? You would be the last guy to expect to play a gay man in.

[Kristen Joy]

A couple so much. He is.

[Brian Green]

That is such a moving episode of television. Did you see that one?

[Kristen Joy]

No, I didn't, but I read about it.

[Brian Green]

You got to watch that one episode. Watch that one episode. It is so moving. Nick Offerman is so good in his partner, which I can remember. I wish I could remember the actor's name. They are so good, and it is so touching. If it doesn't bring a tear to your eye, I don't know what. If doesn't bring a tear to your eye, I don't know what will.

[Kristen Joy]

I mean, I just love that guy in general. First of all, he's married to Megan Mullally, who I love.

[Brian Green]

She's funny.

[Kristen Joy]

So funny.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she's good.

[Kristen Joy]

The two of them are great. They had a podcast for a while called, like, Join Us in Bed or something, and it was like them interviewing people while they were in bed.

[Brian Green]

I'm thinking about starting a podcast network, and I was thinking about naming a podcast after you, and Jeff and I would just follow you around your house with a microphone called Join Us in Bed. Join Us in Naked Cookie.

[Kristen Joy]

But the other thing is, is that he's a woodworker, and. Yeah. And he just totally made his own canoe, like, hollowed the Thing out, whittled it away, made it, and then just floated it.

[Brian Green]

But I didn't. That would not be me. I am not up for woodworking. I'm not up for anything that has to do with my hand. I like to use my mouth instead. Okay. So of all of those succession, one for outstanding drama series, I personally would have gone better Call Saul.

[Kristen Joy]

That was. I mean, they all. Those are all outstanding choices.

[Brian Green]

Or maybe even the crown. I don't know. The crown was so good this year. The crown was good. The crown was so good this year.

[Kristen Joy]

And it made me go. Watching the crown made me go back and wanna Google everything, you know, who these people actually looked like and what actually happened here and there.

[Brian Green]

The crown was written. Is being written. Was written by a very famous biographer or author. Like a person who would keep an eye. You know, an expert, essentially. Yeah. A royal watcher, but like a guy who was known to. To know what was going on.

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Inside. So a lot of it is so good, you know, dramatic. In other words, they're just making it up as they go along. But some of it is.

[Kristen Joy]

It's based.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. It's based on a true story. Yeah. Outstanding Limited or anthology series. Beef Dahmer, Daisy Jones in the six.

[Kristen Joy]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Fleischman is in trouble.

[Kristen Joy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Obi Wan Kenobi. Swear to God. I swear to God. We just don't need another Star wars series. I would say I would pick Dahmer of this, but I didn't see Jay Z. Daisy Jones.

[Kristen Joy]

I did. And it was good.

[Brian Green]

Was it?

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah, it was good.

[Brian Green]

And I haven't watched Beef, and Beef was the winner.

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Beef.

[Kristen Joy]

Beef gets all of these accolades. And good for Beef.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy]

But once again, I couldn't get through the whole thing because halfway through, I'm like, they're so being so mean to each other. And I just.

[Brian Green]

Chrissy's little feelings got hurt. Chrissy has big feelings, Guys.

[Kristen Joy]

I know. In the end, apparently, they. They learn things about looking it up from other people's perspectives and that kind of thing, which I always like to say.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy]

You know when. If somebody cuts me off in traffic or something like that, I say, you know what? They're having a bad day.

[Brian Green]

I do not say that at all.

[Kristen Joy]

We don't know what's going on in someone else's life.

[Brian Green]

You are so much better than I am. Because I'm like, fuck off. Driving the kids to school today. And some lady just, like, swerved into the lane. No. No blinker, no nothing. She just came over into the Lane. And I was like, God damn it. Idiot. And my. One of my kids was like, why did you say those words? And I said, I'm sorry. Daddy was a little upset. And. And he goes, why are you so angry with that danger? And I was like, oh, God, I gotta shut my mouth. I'm gonna end up with kids that are just terrible as I am. Outstanding talk series. Daily show with Trevor Noah, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Late Night with Seth Meyers, the Late show with Stephen Colbert, the Problem with Jon Stewart, all of which I have seen. The Late Show. The Daily show with Trevor Noah is the winner. And I tend to agree with that, though I do like Jimmy Kimmel Live.

[Kristen Joy]

I like all those.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Jimmy Kimmel's my boy. I like Jimmy Kimmel. And Jon Stewart's so smart.

[Kristen Joy]

Oh, my God, I used to love the Daily show back when he did it.

[Brian Green]

Oh, God, it was so good.

[Kristen Joy]

It was.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But Trevor was a great replacement. He was a great replacement.

[Kristen Joy]

Fantastic. Who's doing it now?

[Brian Green]

They have all. This is like.

[Kristen Joy]

I know they did a guest. There's a type stuff.

[Brian Green]

Big controversy. Roy Woods Jr. Right. Who was a correspondent for them.

[Kristen Joy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Did a. I mean, I guess a stint as the host. And he was so fucking good. And a lot of people were like, he wins. He's it. He's going to be the permanent replacement. But they're doing another season with all guests, hosts. And so Roy was like, I'm not doing this anymore. Either you're going to pick somebody or you're not going to pick somebody, but I'm not going to be your little bitch running around. You know, everyone. So they win, and Roy gets up there, and somebody. Somebody has way too much fucking time on their hands. Made an Instagram reel, and the Instagram reel is zoomed in on Roy, who's standing in the background, and he is mouthing the words, somebody pick a host, please. And I was like, wow, he is really upset about this, but I guess I would be, too. He spent, like 10 years there or something. And I think they had indicated he was going to. You know, TV's a bunch of sharks. Anyway, outstanding. Just like podcasting. Outstanding. Reality show competition. The Amazing Race, I haven't seen in years. RuPaul's Drag Race, I have not watched. I watch. I've watched a couple episodes, but I haven't watched recently. Survivor, Top chef, the voice, RuPaul's Drag Race 1. Because I have not seen RuPaul's Drag Race recently. I would have said Top Chef because Top Chef is Consistently a fantastic show. What do you think?

[Kristen Joy]

I haven't seen any of those recently.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. I don't watch the Voice either. Or Amazing Race.

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So I guess I'm just picking the one.

[Kristen Joy]

I love the Amazing Race. My dad and I thought about being contestants.

[Brian Green]

Did you really? Yeah.

[Kristen Joy]

We determined we would make. Well, this is 20 years ago.

[Brian Green]

Why could you do it now? They have old people on.

[Kristen Joy]

Right.

[Brian Green]

You don't think your dad would. You don't think your dad's up for it?

[Kristen Joy]

We decided that we would work the best together, and that is part of it, you know, being the team.

[Brian Green]

What about you and Jeff? You guys don't think you and Jeff would do it?

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah, maybe.

[Brian Green]

I don't think Astro and I would do it. I mean, we're really good.

[Kristen Joy]

Time to do it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's true. I don't have time to do it.

[Kristen Joy]

No. None of us do anymore.

[Brian Green]

I am.

[Kristen Joy]

While I was in college, we. My dad and I were like, we could do this.

[Brian Green]

You could do that. I always thought about me and Patrick or me and Kevin.

[Kristen Joy]

I would do the. I would do the. The daredevil things.

[Brian Green]

You would do all the exciting things. And he could just be in charge.

[Teresa Caputo]

Correct.

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Planning. He would be like, okay, now we need to go buy tickets to this. Yes. And, yeah, I think I could be a good negotiator. Trying to get, like, free tickets and upgrades and, you know, all this other stuff and, you know, manipulating other people to do things on our behalf. And then Astrid would be great at getting us wherever we need to go on time. Yes. And packing. She's really good at that, too. And she's super smart. And I think she would do a lot of the daredevil stuff. Well, now she would do the daredevil stuff. Outstanding scripted variety series. The Black lady sketch show is fucking hilarious. Last Night. Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and Saturday Night Live. Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. 1.

[Kristen Joy]

He's my favorite. He's so good.

[Brian Green]

Brilliant.

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Outstanding variety special. The Apple Music super bowl halftime show starring Rihanna. Get more convoluted. Chris Rock, Selective Outrage. Elton John Live Farewell from Dodger Stadium. The oscars and the 75th Tony Awards. Really?

[Kristen Joy]

Other award shows are part of an award show?

[Brian Green]

I guess so. It was Elton John who won. I watched it. It was good. I didn't think it was, like, fantastic. Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series. Bill Hader for Barry, Jason Siegel for Shrinking. Martin Short. Only. Only Murders in the Building. Jason Sudeikis for Ted Lasso and Jeremy Allen White for the bear who won it? I think any of those gentlemen could have won it. I haven't watched Ted Lasso, but any of the other ones I think they could have won. The outstanding lead actress in a comedy series, Christina Applegate, Dead to Me. Rachel Ron Hansen, the marvelous. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Quintana Brunson for Abbott Elementary. Natasha Leone for Poker Face. Jenna Ortega for Wednesday, Quentin Brunson, one for Quintana Brunson, one for Abbott.

[Kristen Joy]

I love Natasha Leone. She's funny.

[Brian Green]

She's so good. Okay, let's take a short break and then we'll be back. We'll cover a few more and then we are going to continue our delve into season number five with some of our old favorites as we bring back a special Friday episode for you, Teresa Caputo. So we'll get to that in just a few minutes. We'll be back.

[Show Announcer]

Sorry to interrupt, but that's kind of my thing these days. If you're sick of me interrupting, Brian, give us a call at 626-ASKTCB-3. Leave us a voicemail and maybe I'll interrupt you on the show instead. You'd love that, wouldn't ya? You can also text us at 855-TC-8383 and check out our website tcbpodcast.com for all things TCB. You know what's coming next. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok @TCB podcast. And now let's listen to some sponsors because they're the real ones around here.

[Brian Green]

Hey everybody.

[Sponsor Representative]

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[Brian Green]

Hey, look at that.

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[Brian Green]

Okay, back, going over some of the Emmy winners outstanding lead actor in a drama series. Jeff Bridges, the Old Man.

[Kristen Joy]

Oh, that was good.

[Brian Green]

I didn't watch that one.

[Kristen Joy]

Oh, it's good.

[Brian Green]

Is it really?

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah, but it only went halfway. Like, it's, it's still due to the second half. Yeah. Because, you know, he was, he, was it, was he in an accident or he had something wrong. He, like, almost died.

[Brian Green]

Jeff Bridges did. Yeah, he did.

[Kristen Joy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

I didn't know this about him.

[Kristen Joy]

Yes. Jeff Bridges, illness. Yes. The guy, the big Lebowski.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You're kidding me. No shit.

[Kristen Joy]

So because of his health, they couldn't do, they couldn't complete the whole season. So we're still due. Oh, another part of it.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so he's in. He's, he was nominated for the Old Man. Brian Cox for Succession. He was good in that. Kieran Culkin for Succession. Bob Odenkirk for Better Call Saul, Pedro Pascal for the Last of Us, and Jeremy Strong for Succession. This is a list full of succession.

[Teresa Caputo]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Kieran Colton, great show. 1.

[Kristen Joy]

Oh, Culkin.

[Brian Green]

1. Do you think his brother's, like, all upset at him that he's, like, now made quite a star of himself? You think there's a little sibling, sibling, sibling rivalry?

[Kristen Joy]

I don't know. Macaulay had his time, you know.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Two movies.

[Kristen Joy]

He made, like, two movies, like, everywhere.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Uncle Buck, Home Alone one, Home Alone two. Am I right? Am I right? Name another movie. Oh, Angel. He was an angel too. And that was a pretty good movie. The one about the night he was.

[Kristen Joy]

Out and about and around because, remember, he was friends with Michael Jackson, I think, too. And then, and then he, he dated Mila Kuneus.

[Brian Green]

Yes. For years.

[Teresa Caputo]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Wow. Good for him. Yeah. I mean, if you consider that the role of a lifetime. Yes. Okay. Outstanding lead actor in a drama series, Actress in a drama series. Sharon Horgan. For Bad Sisters. Melanie Linsky for Yellow Jackets. Elizabeth Moss for the Handmaiden's Tale. Bella Ramsey for the Last of Us. Kerry Russell for the Diplomat. And Sarah Snook for Succession. And she won for Succession. I have watched all of these except for Bad Sisters. And Bad Sisters was good. Bad Sisters was good. Yeah. Did you watch Yellow Jackets?

[Kristen Joy]

I did.

[Brian Green]

I love that. You know what I'm realizing?

[Kristen Joy]

I love it. I love it.

[Brian Green]

As we're going through this list, I actually don't watch just tlc. I've watched quite a bit.

[Kristen Joy]

This is good.

[Brian Green]

I do not see my Seven Little Johnstons on here. Just by the way. You. For snubbing me. Yeah. Where's the Seven Little Johnston kids? Outstanding lead Actor in a Limited series. Okay. I don't know if we need to go through every single one of these. Let's do the movie, and then we'll. And then we'll move on.

[Kristen Joy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Okay, Here we go. Ready? Movie. Lizzie Kaplan. Fleischman is in Trouble. Jessica Chastain. George and Tammy. Dominique Fishback for Swarm. Catherine Hahn for Tiny Beautiful Things. Riley Kehoe for Daisy Jones and the Six. And Ali Wong for Beef. She won for Beef. And again, I haven't seen it, so I can't say much about it. I don't think I've seen George and Tammy. I watched. That was really good. Yeah. Outstanding Supporting Actor and. No, I won't do that. Okay, I think that's enough. Yeah, I think that's enough.

[Kristen Joy]

Well, you're satisfied?

[Brian Green]

I am satisfied. Are you satisfied? I just wanted to see if we could get to, like, the actual. Well, okay, you know what? That I'm satisfied. That's it.

[Kristen Joy]

The Emmys is just tv, right?

[Brian Green]

Emmy's is just tv.

[Kristen Joy]

Okay, what's the one that encompasses everything?

[Brian Green]

The Critics Choice Awards and the Golden Globes. The Golden Globes. Yeah. The Golden Globes was also. That was.

[Kristen Joy]

Was that the night before or the two nights before? Was that Joe Coy?

[Brian Green]

That was. Listen, it's a thankless job. You can't win. So many people have tried and lost. You try to be funny, you're gonna offend somebody. Everyone's gonna make fun of you for making fun of them. They. A lot of people in that audience are big babies. They are sent over sensitive people who can't handle a joke. And it's just a terrible. I think it's a terrible job. Like, I was thinking about this as I was watching Coy kind of do his thing. And I agree, like, it wasn't the best performance. I'VE ever seen host, but he had a just a month to prepare.

[Kristen Joy]

That's what I read.

[Brian Green]

And I think that legitimately he's saying that and I think that could legitimately be. Be a problem. It's problematic if you just have a month to prepare.

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah. Quick, be funny in front of the world.

[Brian Green]

Be funny and read all these other jokes that all these other people wrote and go right at some stars and you're not quite at their level. And no one, you know, who is this guy before that he was on Chelsea Handler show. He's a very famous stand up comic. He fills audio auditoriums and rooms. But it's not like he's a famous television star or movie star.

[Kristen Joy]

Right.

[Brian Green]

And he goes in there and he starts going at Taylor Swift like, who's going to win that now? Who in the public's opinion who's going to win that battle? Taylor Swift. Every single time. She didn't find the jokes that he made funny. I get it. It wasn't that funny. But at the same time it's a, it's like nobody wins in that situation. So when everybody from Chris Rock to everybody is saying, no, I don't want to host any of those award shows anymore, I get it. You know who was great at that? Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. You go, they're big old fat tv. That's an actual fat. But you know, big fat TV stars and they've made friend, friend nice, nice with everybody in the audience. And so a little good natured ribbing is going to come across much better than having a stand up comedian who probably knows not many people in that audience personally. And then have him come out and start making fun of people are gonna be like, who the fuck is this guy and why is he making fun of me?

[Kristen Joy]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

So I, I say give him a break. You know, comedy is a hit or miss type thing. As you know, if you've listened to the commercial break and what can you do? You know, hey, he did a job. He did a thing. He did a thing. He didn't do it all that well, but he tried, he tried a for effort. That's all I gotta say. Okay, we've been running through some of our favorites. At the beginning of season number five, we've done Frankie B. We've done Mountain Monsters, We've gone back to the Plaz. Our favorite Adam the Lions and Liar. We've got great feedback on that particular episode because it is crazy. He is an insane human being.

[Kristen Joy]

He's delusional.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's Totally delusional. Yeah. And he is so full of. And himself. It's amazing that anyone can't. That there's not a human being on earth that can't see through this guy directly. But, you know, I guess there's a sucker born every minute. All right, so one of our favorites we have been doing for so long that we have been busting on so long. Such a hypocrite, such a liar, such a woman so full of. Her eyes are brown. Teresa Caputo. Now, for those of you just joining the show, you haven't heard a Teresa Caputo episode. Chrissy and I are gonna. I'm gonna say this on Chrissy and I's behalf. If you believe you can contact the dead, if you believe in this type of thing. We're not making fun of that. That particular thing we're not making fun of because you know why? I'm not sure we can't communicate with the dead either. I'm not sure there aren't ghosts out there either. I haven't seen any. I haven't particularly communicated with the dead. Chrissy and I have a code word that we're going to use when one of us die so we can see if we can communicate with the dead. It's the fact that Teresa Caputo is so wrong about so many things. And this is essentially. This is a gypsy parlor trick that she is doing on a mass communication platform like television or radio or podcasting. She is just using this gypsy parlor trick to her benefit, to her great financial benefit, by the way, we believe.

[Kristen Joy]

I mean, yeah, the old trick is that you throw out a general statement.

[Brian Green]

Who had a leg?

[Kristen Joy]

Who's relative?

[Brian Green]

Does anybody in the audience know somebody with eyes?

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah. Then you wait for the response from some people and then you whittle it down.

[Brian Green]

Whittle it down, whittle it down. And if you don't get the response you're looking for, you just switch to somebody else. You piggy front. Essentially, we call it piggy fronting. She calls it piggybacking, which is, by the way, the stickers that we're giving out right now. If you'd like a sticker one by one inch, feel free to contact us at the website. So. And we also believe we know some of her tricks, which is that her hair, which is clearly fake, is sitting on top of her head like that because she has a communication device. Yeah. Installed in top of that. On top of that hair. Now, I don't have any proof of this. I just think it's the most Likely.

[Kristen Joy]

Her ears are covered up.

[Brian Green]

Always covered up. Yes, always covered up.

[Kristen Joy]

We're thinking there's some kind of little community like.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Micro, like a speaker in her ear or possibly even some like electrodes that like, you know. Yes. Once, twice, throw some water on her and watch her fry. So I. We've gone through a bunch of what we call cold readings with Teresa. Like when she's sitting one on one on her A and E special. Those are all pre planned. They obviously have a lot of time to figure out what's going on with the person. It's not like you just show up at somebody's house and all of a sudden you're giving them a reading. The producers take months and months to research and investigate the person they're about that she's about to read so that they know plenty about that person before they walk in the door. The cold readings where she's in like, you know, Jenny Jones. Yeah. Live with Regis and Kelly or whatever. When she's in those type of environments, she's doing what's called a cold reading. And almost unanimously she is terrible at it. And she will literally press people into saying what she wants to say. So all of that said, I was trolling on the Internet, as you do. As I do like to do. And I should probably have fixed my Internet before I came on here.

[Kristen Joy]

And this, this you like to do too.

[Brian Green]

I like to do this too. It's just I just leave my computer screen open. On the, on the studio wall here is Teresa at Meredith Vieira. I think we've done one of these before with Meredith Vieira, but this is a different occasion or a different part of the same episode. I'm not particularly sure which one. And so what I would like to do is I certainly would like to play this for you now, Chrissy.

[Kristen Joy]

Let's do it.

[Brian Green]

All right. So most of us can't communicate with.

[Teresa Caputo]

Those or we've blocked ourselves. But can you explain what the experience is like? Is there any movie or TV show that even gets it partially correct? My two favorite is the Sixth Sense and Ghost. It's my favorite.

[Brian Green]

And why she gives this response at every single place that she goes. The Sixth Sense and the Ghost. And you know why she does the Sixth Sense and the Ghost? Because they make the people who can talk to the dead look like heroes. It's not ugly or messy. It's all buttoned up and clean.

[Teresa Caputo]

Why those? What is it that. Well, the Sixth Sense, I feel like that's how I grew up. I just would just See things and feel things and sense things that I didn't realize not everybody else was. I mean, I actually thought it was normal. I thought everyone sensed and felt the same things that I did. And ghosts. Because I feel like she connected with the per.

[Brian Green]

Because I feel like Demi Moore really looks good to me. And I'm like a Demi Moore, like, character.

[Teresa Caputo]

Personality of the souls. How. And that's what I feel is the best validation. That's why I want spirits to communicate with personality the way that they were before they were sick, to really validate for us that when the soul leaves the physical body, we leave any disease, ailments or disability behind.

[Brian Green]

Is there any spirit. How convenient, Chrissy. How convenient. Communicating with you right now.

[Teresa Caputo]

Well, there's always spirit souls present. I always sense and feel them. But what happens is when coming straight.

[Brian Green]

Through my ear right now, a large.

[Teresa Caputo]

Room, I don't know, they're all just present. So they will guide me to be somewhere, someone. I could be speaking over here, and you might say, oh, my God, but that sounds like me. Know that that's a message from your loved ones as well.

[Brian Green]

I love when she says know that that you know, she's like directing you to know something. She's implanting an idea in your head so you automatically understand her. Bullshit is not bullshit. This is how it's supposed to go down.

[Teresa Caputo]

But there. There was a mother energy that stepped forward and she said to me, she goes, my daughter is so upset that she didn't bring my jewelry or didn't wear something. I feel like I would always wear it or have it every day, and I didn't bring it. Today.

[Brian Green]

Today of all this is the third time we have reviewed Theresa. Today of all days.

[Kristen Joy]

All day is the day that I'm going to go see the woman that talks to ghosts. I'm not going to wear my mom's.

[Brian Green]

I'm not going to wear the thing that would clearly connect me with this. And by the way, notice she's using a negative to put in a positive. So she's saying, I'm getting a sign from somebody that they didn't bring the piece of jewelry that the mom left them. Well, how many people have passed away and left something for a loved one that's just sitting on a desk or in a safe somewhere at home?

[Teresa Caputo]

Of course, days I didn't bring it.

[Brian Green]

Look at this audience. They're all.

[Kristen Joy]

They're just staring.

[Brian Green]

They're like staring at her. I don't know.

[Teresa Caputo]

That's how I felt. And I felt that I Was over here. Is it your mom that's departed? But did you always. Do you always bring things? I don't care if you always carried a picture of her. Like, I felt you always had her with you, and like, today was the day. You didn't bring her. And of all days, Theresa's here.

[Brian Green]

I'm wearing her thong.

[Kristen Joy]

Her thong.

[Brian Green]

I've got a thong on. It connects me with. Right on my ass. She loved Meredith, and she wanted to come to the show.

[Teresa Caputo]

We were here in October, and we.

[Brian Green]

Had an issue, and we didn't get in.

[Teresa Caputo]

We came back in December. We came back on the 12th.

[Brian Green]

She died on the 11th, but we came in. Wait, how did you come back on the 12th, but she died on the 11th.

[Kristen Joy]

She died on the 11th. But then we went ahead and went to the show. You know, she's dead.

[Brian Green]

She died on the. We came on the 12th. Roll her old bones on down on here.

[Kristen Joy]

She's dead. We went ahead and came to the show.

[Brian Green]

I brought her body.

[Kristen Joy]

Mom would want me to go to Marri.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, come on, Mom. We're going anyway. Way to be here. And then we found out you were.

[Teresa Caputo]

Coming today, and we're like, mom, come on.

[Brian Green]

Tell us that you went to Meredith with us.

[Teresa Caputo]

So you. There you go. You brought.

[Kristen Joy]

There you go.

[Brian Green]

It's amazing.

[Kristen Joy]

There you go. The piece of jewelry.

[Brian Green]

There you go.

[Kristen Joy]

The picture, the something. Who cares about that?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. It wasn't a piece of jewelry or a picture. It was her actual bones. You rolled on down over here.

[Teresa Caputo]

That's amazing.

[Brian Green]

She's surprised even. She's even surprised she got that one right. She's like, wow, I'm good at this.

[Teresa Caputo]

And I want to talk about. The husband is stepping forward that is departed. Want to talk about the husband who lost their husband?

[Brian Green]

The entire audience. Does anybody have a husband who is dead or alive or you thought about having a husband or one time you saw somebody with a husband. Oh, there we go up there.

[Teresa Caputo]

Tell me. I'm over here. Did you lose your husband, ma'?

[Brian Green]

Am?

[Teresa Caputo]

Your husband wants to just take this opportunity.

[Kristen Joy]

She goes to, like, a fairly old person.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I mean, the lady's probably, like, 80 or 85, and she's like, did you lose your husband, ma'? Am? What a guess.

[Teresa Caputo]

For the way that you cared for him. Do you understand that?

[Brian Green]

I used to beat him mercilessly.

[Teresa Caputo]

He said, thank you for the way.

[Kristen Joy]

You cared for him. Well, now, while that sounds nice and comforting to the woman, like, hopefully somebody took care of somebody as they were dying.

[Brian Green]

Exactly. Like this is such an obvious ruse. Who's not going to take care of someone when they're passing away? Especially if it's your husband. Well, actually, I don't know if the astron would. She'd probably be like, thank God. Good riddance. See you later.

[Teresa Caputo]

Wish I was able to tell her that. And he says, and do you know how she took care of me and never showed me her frustration? Is that correct, ma'?

[Brian Green]

Am?

[Teresa Caputo]

And you would go in a room and cry and say, I can't.

[Brian Green]

No, she's not going to cry when her husband's passing away. I mean, I'm not making fun of the woman's grief. This is not about the woman. This is about Teresa.

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

It's so ridiculous. Who doesn't go in a room and cry? My. One of my kids falls down and cries, and I feel like I'm going to cry with them.

[Teresa Caputo]

Do this. Your husband wants to thank you for caring for him and allowing him to leave the physical world with dignity and grace.

[Brian Green]

He shat himself to death.

[Teresa Caputo]

Did he used to call you my darling or.

[Kristen Joy]

Or my love or. Or anything else that means, you know.

[Brian Green]

Sweetie, you old hag.

[Kristen Joy]

Did he used to say any of.

[Brian Green]

Did your husband use any term of endearment at the altar? Did your husband say, I do? He did. See? Amazing.

[Teresa Caputo]

Was there a cause he leaned on?

[Kristen Joy]

Sometimes she's thinking about it. She's like, not really.

[Brian Green]

He's quite an asshole, actually.

[Teresa Caputo]

And said, I love you, my darling. And I've never heard darling before. I don't think that that's a common term.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. Sharesa, shut your fucking fat face. What are you talking about? You've never heard anyone use the I love you, darling?

[Kristen Joy]

There's a song.

[Brian Green]

There's a whole, like, universe of darling related things you can say to people. Who doesn't say darling? I say darling. And by the way, the lady is 85 years old. If darling isn't a commonly used word in 2024, it certainly was when she was a kid.

[Teresa Caputo]

So just know that it is just his way of saying that he wish he told you how much he appreciated.

[Brian Green]

He wish he said that. If he didn't say it, he wish he had said it. Is there anybody who wishes they had said something to somebody? No. Yes. Okay.

[Teresa Caputo]

Importantly, how much he loves you. Thank you. I want to talk about the son that departed.

[Kristen Joy]

What if she's like, no, no, wait, wait. I want to keep talking to him.

[Brian Green]

That's. That's like my question every time, like.

[Kristen Joy]

No, don't go Away. You're talking to my dead husband. Yeah, I want to ask him some questions. I want to learn more here.

[Brian Green]

That's right. If Nick. If someone said, nico is back and I could smell him, he wants to tell you what a wonderful doggy father you were. Oh, wait. Sorry. Got to take this phone call. Be right back. It's the pharmacy calling about my vitamin D. I'll be right back.

[Teresa Caputo]

Want to talk about the sun that's departed?

[Kristen Joy]

Oh, gosh.

[Teresa Caputo]

I want to talk about. He takes responsibility for his departure. Do you understand that?

[Brian Green]

He takes responsibility for his departure. How terrible. How terrible.

[Teresa Caputo]

Teresa, this does not mean that it might not be your loved one as well. Do you understand that?

[Kristen Joy]

I hate when she says. When he.

[Brian Green]

I know. I hate when she says, you must know or you know. I'm just like. It drives me crazy how this lady.

[Kristen Joy]

Do you understand that?

[Brian Green]

That.

[Kristen Joy]

Do you understand that?

[Brian Green]

Do you understand that? Remember that one time she was yelling at the black guy? Yes.

[Teresa Caputo]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

She was like, was he a drug dealer?

[Kristen Joy]

She was totally racial profile.

[Brian Green]

Did he live in the hood? Yeah.

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah, it was bad.

[Brian Green]

And then the guy was like, no. And she's like, I think he did. I think he did. Why? Because I'm black. All right, let's take a second break here. We're gonna get back with more Teresa Caputo after these messages. We'll be right back.

[Show Announcer]

Sorry to interrupt, but that's kind of my thing these days. If you're sick of me interrupting, Brian, give us a call at 626-ASKTCB-3. Leave us a voicemail and maybe I'll interrupt you on the show instead. You'd love that, wouldn't ya? You can also text us at 855-TCB8383, and check out our website, tcbpodcast.com for all things TCB. You know what's coming next. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok CB podcast. And now let's listen to some sponsors, because they're the real ones around here.

[Brian Green]

Let us not dilly dally, Chrissy. Let us get back right into Teresa Caputo lying to an entire audience of people for her financial gain.

[Teresa Caputo]

Step forward. He opened up his hands and showed me the white doves, which is my symbol for that his soul is someone with her. Can you just hold that, please?

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. We had white doves at the funeral. It's my sign for someone has departed.

[Kristen Joy]

Isn't that like, on half of the tombstones out there?

[Brian Green]

Chrissy?

[Kristen Joy]

The doves.

[Brian Green]

Yes, I'M seeing a tombstone. Does anyone know a dead person with a tombstone? That's my sign for they've died.

[Teresa Caputo]

When spirit steps forward and takes responsibility for their departure, it means that they do not want us to carry the burdens or guilt or the should have, could have, would have. So the only ifs that they would still be here. The white doves is my symbol for the.

[Kristen Joy]

That would be anybody, any human being, anybody that died. People that are left behind think, yes, what if.

[Brian Green]

What if this is such general fucking horse poop that I can't even. It's hard for me to swallow anything she says because it's so generalized that it could literally have to do with any departed human being ever. And everybody here, or not everybody, but some segment of the audience is so desperate and sour, sorrowful about their loved one departing that they are desperate to hear anything comforting.

[Kristen Joy]

And they'll read into it.

[Brian Green]

You know, I wish they would call, like, better help or something.

[Teresa Caputo]

That his soul is not at peace because of the way that he departed. So, you know, that his soul is safe and at peace with God. And more importantly, thanking you for all of the prayers. Did he have. How old was he? Did he have a girlfriend? She's pretty girl. He knelt down and said, will you marry me? So were you supposed to get married or did you talk about getting married? Yeah.

[Kristen Joy]

He just knelt down. That's bad, Theresa. He just knelt down.

[Brian Green]

He's not in heaven, by the way. I just wanted to give you a little update. Theresa, hey, it's me. I'm picky. I'm picky fronting. Hello, Satan. All right, do me a favor, Teresa. Tell them I'm kneeling down. This is gonna be a funny joke.

[Teresa Caputo]

Did I. Were you gonna get his handwriting tattooed.

[Brian Green]

On you or right here?

[Teresa Caputo]

I have I love you right here.

[Brian Green]

And I was gonna get it right here.

[Teresa Caputo]

Perfect.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. I don't even. I don't even need to explain this to the TCB audience, but let me explain. She has a tattoo that says I love you in handwriting very visible on her arm. And Teresa just asked, were you going to get handwriting tattooed on your arm? You know why? Because she can see. Yes. Or one of her producers saw it some sometime beforehand and is now telling her in her ear that there is handwriting tattooed on her arm.

[Teresa Caputo]

Now, this doesn't mean. Now you have to leave the show and go get the tattoo. That is not what this is about. It's about.

[Brian Green]

He wants you to know that he wanted to marry you. And don't ever get married. To another man. Stay celibate for the rest of your life. Yes.

[Teresa Caputo]

Him. You knowing that he knows that you were going to do this.

[Kristen Joy]

I know that he knows that you know.

[Brian Green]

I know that he knows that you know that this was something you thought about. He might think you might think that he might do. And he's telling me right now in my earpiece underneath my wig.

[Teresa Caputo]

Do you try to go through his departure? Because he tries to bring me through it. And then he hits me in the back of the head. So when spirit does.

[Kristen Joy]

Damn.

[Brian Green]

God damn. Bullshit. It's such fucking. Goddamn bullshit.

[Kristen Joy]

He hits me in the back of the head. Yeah, well, didn't. I mean, wouldn't that be distracting to her? Like, ow. Oh my God, I just got hit in the back of a head.

[Brian Green]

Shut up, Chrissy. I'm trying to marry there. From the other side, I get hit in the head. I didn't see any movement, by the way. Didn't see any movement.

[Kristen Joy]

And maybe that's why she wears the hair like that. It's kind of like a helmet.

[Brian Green]

I know. It's the one padding. It's the one thing forgetting it. She's getting hit left and right. I just got hit by a ghost penis in my back. Back. That's my sign for he wants to consummate the relationship one last time. If you remember how he said ghost was a good representation. I'm here to facilitate a lovemaking session between you and your dead boyfriend. Yes. The one thing that gets me every time we watch this, the one thing that makes me know for sure that she's full of, is there is no human being on earth that could be communicating with four people at the same time. Yeah. None. How does she keep talking, rambling that yapper of hers and still getting messages.

[Kristen Joy]

From the other side to somebody holding, you know, a conversation with somebody.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy]

And then she's also holding and getting hit in the back of the head.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy]

And hearing from all of these spirits that are in the room.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And how is she communicating back with them, by the way? No, because she's not talking to them. Is it just come out of her mind? Yeah, yeah, I guess so.

[Teresa Caputo]

Things like that. For me, it's my symbol for that. They didn't suffer when she hit.

[Brian Green]

When you get hit on the back of the head. Well, come on over to tcb. I'm gonna show you how much I didn't suffer.

[Teresa Caputo]

That's what we were wondering because of how he died. So wanting you to know that he did not suffer. Do you understand that did you. Why do I feel trapped? He goes, I wasn't trapped. I was fine. Do you understand that? So whatever happened to his physical body? Whatever happened, he says, I want you to know that from the blow to the head.

[Brian Green]

Jesus Christ, Teresa.

[Teresa Caputo]

My soul did not feel anything from that blow to the head. Fair. And that he did not suffer.

[Brian Green]

What a terrible, terrible thing to be saying to people. I mean, just terrible.

[Teresa Caputo]

He talks, though, about his right side or his right. Tattooed with doves. Yeah. So you understand also the dove reference as well. Did you actually think that you saw your son in the hallway in the house or outside a bedroom door? My mom did. She called me the other day and told me that he was standing in the doorway and he said, tell my mom that I'm okay. Perfect.

[Brian Green]

Okay. So this sounds remarkably accurate, right? Like, oh, my God, she actually struck on something. He had tattoos of doves, and she said doves at the beginning. And now her mom sees a guy in a hallway and all this other stuff. You got to understand, just like her live shows, they place plants all over the place. Like people that work for her, that stand in line with the audience or that are mingling amongst them while they're in some part of the. You know, maybe waiting for the show to start or whatever. And they are listening to everything that you say because they are picking up on stuff. Because if you're going to see Theresa Caputo, then it's likely you're sharing with other people around you why you're there to see Theresa Caputo. My mom just saw him the other day. I know he's still with us. You know, he had doves on his arm or here's a picture.

[Kristen Joy]

Talked about, too, that they get everybody's name.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Kristen Joy]

You know, and then they can go do a search on Facebook or things like to get some clues.

[Brian Green]

Yes. If you go to Theresa, if you go to a degree, Teresa Caputo show, they will get the information about you personally.

[Kristen Joy]

Because we together, we were going to try and do it.

[Brian Green]

They vet you out. They don't want any sneakers.

[Kristen Joy]

Naysayers, naysayers.

[Brian Green]

You know, I actually. We said it wouldn't it be great to be in the audience for one of these? And there is almost no video of her doing an actual live show, like in an auditorium. She tours around the country and does this. I found one video, one brave soul who actually recorded it, an entire Teresa Caputa thing. However, the audio is shite. I wish I could play it, but it's just not very good. Yeah.

[Teresa Caputo]

Did you just get the goosebumps, man. Know that that was your son's soul that just moved right through you. I asked him.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God, how terrible.

[Kristen Joy]

It's cold in here, though.

[Brian Green]

How do you sleep at night? Yeah, it's cold in here. It's a TV studio. They keep them very cold. Just like the TCB studio.

[Kristen Joy]

Your son soul just passed right through you.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. God.

[Teresa Caputo]

To allow you to feel him. So you knew that this was real and that where you go, your son's soul goes with you and that what your mother saw was his soul.

[Kristen Joy]

He wasn't with you at that specific. Oh, my God. Yeah, he's always with you. Except when he was in your mom's.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, when. When he was over there and he was passing through her. He's always with you except when he's not. And he's not with you most of the time because there is some hot ass up here in heaven. I'm telling you what, I just got a penis into my ear. And that means that he's having. He found a ghost partner himself for.

[Teresa Caputo]

A brief moment, validating that he is. Okay. Did you lay him to rest in casual wear?

[Brian Green]

Yes, I did.

[Teresa Caputo]

Because he goes, oh, I love. Don't I look great, Theresa? And he has me viewing his physical body, and he's like, I love how they put me laid to rest.

[Brian Green]

Okay, tell me what exactly he's wearing and tell me what he looks like. Yeah, yeah, you can't do that.

[Kristen Joy]

He has me viewing his physical body.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. This is a producer quickly looking at stuff on Facebook and Instagram.

[Kristen Joy]

Why wouldn't you say he's wearing a brown coat and jeans?

[Brian Green]

That's right. Was he wearing a brown coat and jeans? Did he have black hair and blue eyes? Did he wet? Did he have a mustache?

[Kristen Joy]

Right now he's showing him.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, like, take. Give me a minute while I talk to him. None of that stuff happens because it's just a producer filtering shit into her ear.

[Teresa Caputo]

He always wore a white tee and jeans, and that's how we laid them perfect. So know that he wants to thank you for that. He also says. He goes, theresa, he goes, do you not hear him? Do you sometimes hear him call your name? Cause he goes, you are the first person that's actually saying what I'm saying. He goes, this is cool. He goes, can I, like, come with you? And I'm like, no. I'm like, you're going home with them. I got my own dead people.

[Brian Green]

No, I gotta go home and smoke a bunch of weed. So I don't feel all these guilt. Unbelievable.

[Kristen Joy]

Clap.

[Teresa Caputo]

So know that when you hear him, know that that is him. You're not crazy. It's not your imagination. It's not wishful thinking. Do you guys wear bracelets in memory of him? Yes. Perfect.

[Kristen Joy]

I saw those.

[Brian Green]

Perfect. They're right on my arm. Right where you can see them. Yeah. Amazing. Teresa, you're amazing. How does this woman sleep at night? I just don't know. Gosh, we don't have him today.

[Teresa Caputo]

Perfect. But do you have Dove jewelry or Dove. We all got a doll. Who are you? That's his sister. Perfect.

[Kristen Joy]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

Oh. Amazing. You wear dumb jewelry.

[Kristen Joy]

He didn't talk about you.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy]

A sister.

[Brian Green]

Who's this bitch?

[Kristen Joy]

Who are you?

[Brian Green]

He just asked me, who's this bitch? I hated her. Tell her.

[Teresa Caputo]

So you wear a Dove bracelet in memory of your brother. Perfect. Because he goes, this would be terrible if I didn't acknowledge my sister.

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah, nice recovery.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, nice recovery. You didn't. He didn't say, that's my sister, before you ask the question. Who are you? I mean, come on. You didn't get that basic information from him? That's my sister, that's my mom, and that's my girlfriend who I was going to propose to, but unfortunately I passed away. So here, let me get down on one knee.

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah. Also, let me show you my physical body.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Kristen Joy]

In the casual clothes.

[Brian Green]

Also, there's this chick on 29th Street. Do you think you can make a video, swing by her apartment on the way home?

[Teresa Caputo]

His CD or his music you play in your car? Or his ipod or iPhone or something? Just the music. Oh, just the music that you used to listen to. But who has his phone? He talks about his phone. He can't find a phone. Oh, so you're upset about that and you wish you could have that phone. So.

[Kristen Joy]

No, she didn't know that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she didn't know that. She didn't pick that part up. He was playing his music through his phone until his phone was lost, and then he's like, oh, oh, that. I could hear him perfectly clearly for a minute there, but then it was some static. The call dropped. I just got a. He didn't have his phone.

[Kristen Joy]

I bought his CDs, his iPods, his. Anything? No, no, no. What's his phone on his phone? Who's got his phone? Oh, no one.

[Brian Green]

Oh, no one. Do you have a Droid? A tv, a computer, a fan? Do they have a record player?

[Teresa Caputo]

It's something. Especially when spirit brings up something that you long to have or want.

[Kristen Joy]

To have.

[Teresa Caputo]

He says don't worry, no one stole it. So I don't know if you're worried about that.

[Kristen Joy]

We were.

[Teresa Caputo]

Yeah, we were. And I just. Because I saw it like shoved under a seat or shoved under something. We were thinking where the phone was and we were trying to figure out if it was under the car and they couldn't find it. So just know that it's okay. You're gonna do the tree and bench in memory of him.

[Kristen Joy]

It's okay.

[Brian Green]

You're gonna do the tree and bench in memory of him. This is all on her Facebook page. I get. Can almost guarantee it. Yeah. Such horseshit. We did that already.

[Teresa Caputo]

Perfect. So know that he knows about that. Well, you were going to add something.

[Kristen Joy]

My producers knew about that too.

[Brian Green]

I know. My producers informed me of us. This also. Let me ask you a question about this because this is really interesting. I'm just thinking about this. Why is it sometimes the spirits talk to her and say direct things and then sometimes they don't actually say anything to her, they just give her symbols.

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Brian Green]

Know. Yeah, it could be. I. I feel like it's back of the head hit when she gets stuff right. They said he said it to her, but when she doesn't get stuff right. He's just using symbols to talk.

[Teresa Caputo]

Oh. Because I go, why'd you tell me that they're going to. And he goes, oh, cuz they're going to add something to it.

[Kristen Joy]

When did she say that to him? I mean, what, What?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, when exactly is this going down? There's. You have not stopped yammering the entire time you've been talking to this girl and. But all of a sudden there's these complete paragraphs that are coming out of him. How do you memorize this? I can't even keep up with one conversation with Chrissy.

[Teresa Caputo]

I know different things on it. Well, I'm very sorry for your loss and may God bless you and your family. Thank you. Thank you.

[Brian Green]

Ah, such Teresa. I just don't know how. I just don't know how she sleeps at night. Listen, there are. There are a lot of things that I can forgive. Right. But I think playing. Toying with people's emotions like that seems like something I would. I just would never do. I would never do.

[Kristen Joy]

I mean some people are looking for. That they're looking for. I mean Teresa is one of many that are out there that'll do this kind of thing. But yeah, it's. I just don't see how the whole thing goes down first of all, while she's talking to him.

[Brian Green]

You don't understand the minutia of it. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy]

How all that happens. And then I also don't understand how these people wouldn't want to continue to keep talking to Teresa. Like, oh, boom, boom, that's it.

[Brian Green]

Just question every time.

[Kristen Joy]

Just talk to somebody that was dead, that I love very much. And I'm good with that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah. It's our question every single time is how does Teresa not have a million stalkers?

[Kristen Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Because I don't think they even really believe it. At the end of the day, they go home and they realize that I had all this stuff on Facebook.

[Kristen Joy]

Right.

[Brian Green]

I had all this on Facebook. Yeah. I mean, these people aren't dumb. Most of them. You know, she hooks them for a minute, but then they quickly realize, ah, that's a bunch of. All right, well, if you like a bunch of, you can go to tcbpodcast.com More information about Chrissy and I, the entire library, audio and video right [e-mail] or you can go to the contact us button, hit the drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address, we'll send it off to you. And you know, a couple days, weeks, or in some cases, months, I don't know, I just added to your stamp collection. I just got kicked in my vasectomized balls. That means that I told everybody too soon about the piggy printing sticker. But they're really here now and you can get one if you can find it. We'll put in an envelope. If you can actually see it, then, you know, there you go. So go there, get your free piggy fronting sticker. 1626 Ask TCB. The number three, that's 626 Ask TCB B. And the number three. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, we take them all right there. You can leave a voicemail too, if you want to be on the show. I think that's why most people don't leave us voicemails and just text us at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break for videos, all of our interviews. And you can now listen, listen to the podcast on YouTube Music. So, Chrissy, I think that's all I can do for right now. But I'll tell you that I love you.

[Kristen Joy]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. That's all you get now. Sam. Sa.