Mountain Monsters & The Great Larry Con Job!

Summary

The Commercial Break

Episode Summary

Title: Mountain Monsters & The Great Larry Con Job!
Hosts: Bryan Green & Kristen (Krissy) Joy Hoadley
Release Date: March 26, 2025

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Episode Overview

This wild improv-comedy episode sees Bryan and Krissy digging into the most ridiculous “Mountain Monsters” TV moments with their signature irreverent commentary. The duo gleefully lampoons the show’s over-the-top monster hunts, the bumbling backwoods monster hunters, and a twisty con job plot involving “Larry” and the infamous West Kentucky Poacher Ring. Expect riotous play-by-play as Bryan and Krissy lovingly mock everything from elaborate but pointless monster traps to breathless radio call-ins and a Bigfoot “attack.”

Their discussion veers from darkly comedic takes on pop culture (with a hefty sidebar about Alec Baldwin’s reality show and public image struggles) to a nostalgia-laced, chaos-driven breakdown of Mountain Monsters’ best (worst?) monster hunts. Listeners are treated to both heartfelt vulnerability and full-throttle absurdity—as always, the best way to experience TCB’s uniquely unfiltered, banter-fueled humor.

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Notable Discussion Points & Segments

1. Alec Baldwin’s Reality TV & Vulnerability

[03:19 – 08:26]

• Bryan brings up Alec Baldwin’s new reality show and the weight of the tragic Rust shooting scandal.
• Bryan acknowledges the difficulty of publicly working through guilt and trauma, commending the show for not shying away from “vulnerable, tough moments” in Baldwin’s life.
• The co-hosts reflect on personal responsibility, trauma, and public scrutiny.

“People stewing in their own shit is never something easy to watch… You can see just how vulnerable and in pain Alec is. He is very much stewing in his own shit, so to speak.”
—Bryan Green, [05:40]

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2. Mountain Monsters: Top 5 Scariest Hunts Compilation

[08:26 – End]

Returning to the Ridiculous

Bryan and Krissy pivot to commentary on Mountain Monsters—the reality/cryptid series featuring a group of Appalachian hunters and their absurd “investigations.”

“The mountain monsters. We all know them, we all love them, we all think they're ridiculous. And it just keeps getting more ridiculous…”
—Bryan Green, [08:08]

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#3: The Midnight Whistler’s Burial Ground

[09:07 – 20:20]

• The hunters search for the “Midnight Whistler,” a Bigfoot variant said to whistle in mammoth caves.
• Childlike animation, cheap effects, and non-existent “evidence” are mercilessly mocked.
• The hunters discover “graves,” speculate wildly about Bigfoot burial grounds, and panic at staged noises and cheesy props.

“These guys... really have a specific acting skill set. And that is pointing at things that are not there and screaming really loud.”
—Bryan Green, [10:30]

• Lavish commentary on the lack of scientific rigor, and the desperate attempt to create suspense where there is none.

“Let's stay around in the dark for a couple more hours and see what happens.”
—Bryan Green, [14:17]

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#2: The Poacher Standoff and The Larry Con Job

[21:36 – 43:14]

• The “good guys” (hunters) find themselves under fire—not from monsters, but from a gang of poachers in a Kentucky cornfield.
• Chaos ensues: gunfire in the dark, overweight hunters lying in the field (“stargazing” rather than hiding), and a slapstick stand-off with poachers.
• A complicated and nonsensical plot emerges: a man named Larry is paid $1,000 to destroy the hunters’ trap, revealing an underground poaching ring.

“I'm going to indiscriminately shoot at you. I want to go to jail for murder.”
—Bryan Green, [25:15]

“We talked to him, and the more I liked him, and I gave him a job at craft services.”
—Bryan Green, [35:39]

“Hey, boys. It's me, Larry. I was the one who stole your radio. I was the one who pulled down the trap. I was the one who paid myself a thousand dollars to tear down your trap! Riddle me that, Batman.”
—Bryan Green (as Larry), [41:16]

Rapid fire sarcasm and running gags (the “Thunder Penis,” staged traps, overweight hunters) keep the energy high and the critique flowing.

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#1: The Squalling Savage—The Ultimate Monster Hunt Farce

[44:14 – 60:23]

• The “scariest” hunt centers on the “Squalling Savage,” described as yet another indistinguishable 8.5-foot-tall, tree-dwelling Bigfoot.
• Hilariously repeated plot device: the hunters hide in hastily dug holes (“blinds”) with trap doors and knives, while suspense is simulated by shaking foliage and “squalling” noises.
• More logistical absurdity ensues: ziplining out of treehouses, leaving the cameraman behind, comically slow chases, and always, a total lack of real evidence.

“If Bigfoot is moving slower than that, then I am officially not afraid of Bigfoot.”
—Bryan Green, [53:21]

“That's when I gave him the five o'clock savage. I bent over and blasted him with a mighty wind. He ran down the hill.”
—Bryan Green, [57:06]

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3. TCB’s Signature Banter & Self-Awareness

• Bryan and Krissy break down their love of watching “Mountain Monsters” as comedy (“Thank God we have the mountain monsters to show us the way.” —Bryan Green, [59:45]), and riff on the absurdity of trusting such clearly staged TV as evidence of cryptids.
• They call back to frequent podcast themes—listener notes, fan-favorite segments, riffing on pop culture, and intentionally over-the-top banter.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Bryan on the Mountain Monsters Format:
  “...They just move on to the next episode. Like you do when you find the discovery of humanity. It'd be like if ALF was living in your house and you didn't call somebody about it.” [19:34]

• On Cornfield Standoffs:
  “You don't lay on your back. You lay on your front. Now you can't even see.”
  —Bryan Green, [26:28]

• Krissy on Absurd Monster Variants:
  “The squalling looks a lot like the thunder brothers. Looks a lot like the lightning man. Looks a lot like the Whistler. It looks a lot like everything, just a different color fur.” [44:40]

• Bryan’s Finale Advice:
  “Next time you're camping, dig three or four five to seven foot deep holes and get some old doors and put some foliage on them in case you run into a squalower or a whistler or a diddler or whatever it is out there. You want to make sure you've got the proper resources to take care of yourself.” [59:45]

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Key Episode Structure (with Timestamps)

• [00:01 – 08:26]: Intro banter, festival talk, Baldwin show, and serious discussion on guilt and responsibility.
• [08:26 – 20:20]: Mountain Monsters’ “Midnight Whistler” hunt, fake science, and graveyard shenanigans.
• [21:36 – 43:14]: The Poacher Standoff, trap sabotage, and the Larry con job plot twist.
• [44:14 – 60:23]: The grand finale: “Squalling Savage” hunt, hole-digging, nonsensical monster attacks, and climactic comedic absurdity.
• [60:23 – End]: Host wrap-up, listener engagement, reflections on the enduring appeal of Mountain Monsters as unintentional comedy.

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Tone & Takeaway

Relentlessly irreverent, highly improvisational, and both affectionate and critical in lampooning reality TV absurdity. Bryan and Krissy blend smart comedy with relatable, low-key banter, making even the wildest TV nonsense feel like a party of inside jokes you’re invited to.

If you love podcasts that freely riff on pop culture, mock the mock-worthy, and spiral into expertly steered chaos—this one’s for you.

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For Further Listening

• Check out TCB’s previous “Mountain Monsters” breakdowns for more hilarious dissections.
• Visit TCBpodcast.com for stickers, archives, and more wild podcast fun.

Transcript

[Buck]

Hello. No one is available to take your call. Please leave a message after the tone.

[Brian Green]

Feel from the deepest part of your loins, the ancestors that came before you and their ancestors feel it right in your penis chakra. Feel it deep in your penis chakra. Then imagine you have a va. Chakra, the chakra of a vagina. Now our ancestors are really talking to each other. Yeah, this is the place. Look deep inside your manhole. Find inner peace, inner sanctum in your inner rectum.

[Buck]

On this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

I am pissed off that I got Tom fooled into believing that he was a good guy simply because he said, hey, I'm Larry. Sorry.

[Buck]

You gonna tell me that dude in that truck, he pulled the wall clear over us. He tore down our. And then made sure we knew he had the last laugh.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Hey, boy.

[Brian Green]

Hey, Larry. Hey, boys. It's me, Larry. I was the one who stole your radio. I was the one who pulled down the trap. I was the one who paid myself a thousand dollars to tear down. Riddle me that, Batman.

[Buck]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, boy.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoad. The best of you, Kristen.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. Appreciate it. Like your hat.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Thank you.

[Brian Green]

Mempho hat. Menfo. Right around. Not right around the corner, but coming up quickly. I'm sure Jeff is a frazzled.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

He is.

[Brian Green]

He's a frizzled and a frazzled.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

There's a lot going on.

[Brian Green]

Have we announced who's going to be there yet?

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Not yet.

[Brian Green]

Not yet. Okay, well, let me know when I can talk about it. I think I. I think. I think you told me, but it's a very. It's a secret. These things are very secretive. We don't want to do Fyre Fest 3 at Memphis. No. And I'll do a fyre fest update later on in the week, but just know that it's definitely not happening. Definitely not happening.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

I'm shocked.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Of all, I am less shocked that the mountain monsters find. Don't never find something that they're chasing that I am. That Fyre Fest 2 is in fact not happening. But it's not happening. I wanted to quickly, and I know you guys, on Friday, we watched mountain monsters. We were getting through the top five scariest hunts and we got to number three, meaning we had just kind of come up on number three. We'll get back to it. We promised we will. But I wanted to ask you real quick. Did you know that Alec Baldwin has a new reality television show?

[Buck]

I did.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

The Baldwins, yes, I did. I've seen some press about it and I've seen it pop up on Max, I think, or Netflix.

[Brian Green]

Max, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's on tlc.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

I don't know if I'm interested in watching it, but I don't know.

[Brian Green]

So I've had it on in the background because a lot of times, you know, there's a couple channels that I'll just keep on in the background. It's like mindless entertainment that I really don't have to pay attention to. But I'll tune in if I hear something interesting. And I was watching or I had it on in the background and man, Alec, listen. Nothing like that poor woman's family who will never recover from.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

That was so sad.

[Brian Green]

That was the craziest thing.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

That sounds like a freak accident.

[Brian Green]

I believe that it was. I believe it was a freak accident and I believe everybody, including Alec, probably could have took more care to make sure that things were okay. You, of course, had the person, the armorer, who was supposed to never have real bullets anywhere on set, but did, which is just insane to me. I don't think it was some grand conspiracy. I think she was a kid, A kid who was also partying at night and made some mistakes, some big ones that cost somebody their life. But then Alec, I don't think he checked the gun. Whatever, who cares? It doesn't matter. But anyway, that must be a very frightening, terrifying, difficult thing to go through for everybody and for the person who pulled the trigger, Alec. And when you're watching that show, I will give the show, it's been criticized by a lot of people and I can understand why, you know, on the backs of this death, you're out there trying to rehab your image or make money or whatever the. Whatever the criticism is. Agreed, all of that. But then also when you watch the show, you can see just how vulnerable and in pain Alec is. He is very much stewing in his own shit, so to speak. And the. I'm sure he feels horrible, of course. Yeah, he's not gloating in this. Right. And I think that's pretty clear. I don't know, but. And he's a public figure, so of course he went and did the obligatory interview so that people can get the questions answered. They feel like they have some idea. He's got to defend himself in some way, shape or form. He's a public figure. But what I was going to share is that people stewing in their own shit is never something easy to watch them dealing with that kind of pain. And this was recorded the three weeks before he was to be the trial. The trial. And so it's like really intense. And I was just watching a scene before you got here. I was just watching a scene where him and his wife are driving up to their Hamptons house or whatever. They're arguing about all kinds of different stuff. And she's just like a whip. She's just, you know, get off your ass. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You know, lots of people are in pain here. You have a family to deal with. Like, you got to get your shit together. You got to figure out how to process this pain and process it. But I don't. I put myself in Alex shoes and I don't know how I would process. I don't know how you do process something like that.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Yeah, that's awful.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. When you know you were responsible for someone else's death in such a terrible and freak way.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Yeah. It's like car accidents too, where somebody responsible for killing someone.

[Brian Green]

I did know a guy when I was in my. When I was working at Listed. Ah, Then giving away chiante classico in the Gusoft show collabs. I did know a guy, worked with a guy who had gotten into a car accident that was his fault. He ran a red light. Wasn't drunk or anything like that. He ran a red light. He wasn't paying attention. Ran a red light, killed a woman like a lady who had a family. And a couple of nights I went out drinking with him and it didn't take the little bittest pin prick and it all came out.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

And this was like years after it had happened. Like six or seven years after it had happened. And he still had zero reconciliation about it. 0. It was all right at the surface. And I can only imagine. And that's what guys that go to war must feel like. Police officers, other people who are in terrible incidents and accidents. Anyway, I give the show a little bit of credit, a little bit of credit for showing those very vulnerable, tough moments where it seems like Alec is essentially leaking out of his own skin. They kept it in there. So whether the editors have full control over the final cut or Alec has some kind of approval or whatever it is, I will say that they are showing some of these vulnerable moments. And it, you know, see just how tough this has been for everybody involved. Now, of course, that, you know, that. Who is that? Hannah. What was her name? Somebody or other. The lady who died. Anyway, whoever died that. Obviously there's no comparison. None. Zero. She. She can never come. Alec can figure a way through this. She can never. And her kids can never. But anyway, I just want to share that the Baldwin show is rather interesting in that sense. Okay, now to something completely unserious. The mountain monsters. We all know them, we all love them, we all think they're ridiculous. And it just keeps getting more ridiculous as they are. Now, counting down, There's a compilation video out there where they count down the top five hunts the mountain monsters have had in their hunting career of mythological bullshit creatures. We just saw them put together. The thunder axe, I guess.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Well, yeah, see, counting back to number five, it was Bigfoot.

[Brian Green]

Bigfoot.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

His nest.

[Brian Green]

Yep.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

And then they up the ante then on number four. And that was the lightning man, which is a version of Bigfoot that strikes quick, like.

[Brian Green]

That's right. It's lightning. Like the lightning man with the Thunder brothers. Yeah, the thunder brothers and the lightning man. But if they put together some kind of magical ax, I guess they have protection against the thunder brothers.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

And the lightning lifted it up like he was he man.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, like he was he man. And someone got struck by lightning, by the way, just. And peed himself. Lots of peeing in that episode. Anyway, go back on Friday. You can watch that episode. Let's get right back to it. I think we have some time left in this segment. Let's get right back to it with number three. Here we go.

[Buck]

And we're going after the Midnight Whistler legend.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Midnight Whistler.

[Brian Green]

Now, why do these. All these creatures look alike? They all look exactly the same. They really do. I mean, some are more bulky than others, but it's generally the same principle.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

That this one has green eyes, the other one had red eyes.

[Brian Green]

And I might add that these animations are absolutely childlike. I mean, you would think that I understand this thing is done on a shoestring budget. It just takes a forest and some. A couple of cameramen and terrible sound effects. But you would think that they would spend a little bit of money just to go. I mean, I could get better things done on fiverr. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Buck]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

All right, let's get back to it.

[Buck]

That the Midnight Whistler was the first Bigfoot to come out of the mammoth caves. And we're going to prove tonight that he exists.

[Brian Green]

And how are you going to do that, Buck?

[Buck]

What? It looks like he's been dead.

[Brian Green]

You have never proven anything has existed. How are we going to do this one?

[Buck]

We're using this one. He's being in here. Well, he's not here during the day and he's not here at night.

[Brian Green]

Oh. Point your gun. Point your gun wildly in every direction.

[Buck]

Right. There he is. Where you go right up through there. That's that old log right there. I just seen some limbs moving. Will it go through the hill?

[Brian Green]

I saw some logs moving. That's what he said. I saw some logs moving. You saw some logs moving up in a tree? What is this? It's a mining operation. Oh my God. These guys. They are the. They have really have a specific acting skill set. And that is pointing at things that are not there and screaming really loud.

[Buck]

Black guys. Son of a bitches.

[Brian Green]

Did he just say look at those black guys?

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

He said stand back.

[Brian Green]

All right. I just want to make sure we weren't getting into some weird territory here.

[Buck]

Trapper. Go ahead, Buck.

[Brian Green]

Trapper M.D. that's huckleberry number six. Look at him.

[Buck]

Hey. We're down here in the nest. Something just come down on the tree on top of us. It's down here with us.

[Brian Green]

We're down here in the nest. We're down here in the nest.

[Buck]

We're on our way.

[Brian Green]

We're on our way.

[Buck]

Holy. I'm telling you right now. He don't whistle. What do you mean he don't whistle? There's some sort of scream. I've never heard nothing like that. Trapper. Just think. That bastard could have been up there that night we found it. Or that day we come back in. I don't know how he got off that high wall that fast. In a matter of just a second he was gone straight up.

[Brian Green]

I don't know why we recall everything that ever happened.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Whistle.

[Brian Green]

I'm just a whistling monster down.

[Buck]

You can whoop goat up that well. How in the hell we get up that bank and we can't get back on that ridge. Run. No.

[Brian Green]

There's no way.

[Buck]

It's straight up and down. We got to come up with a better plan. We got to do. I don't think use this far up here. I got one left. Right.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Let's get bushwhacker. Whatever the thing's called.

[Buck]

I'm gonna slay these logs around and scare those fat guys. Yum yum. Check it out. What in the world is that?

[Brian Green]

God damn. What in the world is that?

[Buck]

Oh my God.

[Brian Green]

Oh my God.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

It was like a teepee.

[Brian Green]

It was like a two stick teepee.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Three.

[Brian Green]

Three sticks Just put together in a. Like a teepee. But they were tiny. What in the world is that? It's a child's. It's a child playing in the forest.

[Buck]

What the hell? Look at this box team.

[Brian Green]

Watch your box.

[Buck]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Watch your step. Gu.

[Buck]

Guys. Easy now. Easy.

[Brian Green]

Easy now. Easy. It could be booby trap. Easy now. If they don't say easy four times an episode. Easy. Easy. Go slow into your certain death.

[Buck]

Easy guys. For what?

[Brian Green]

The slower we die, the better.

[Buck]

We got to be careful here. What is this? Is it graves? This is a bad spot. This is a bad spot. I'm telling you we shouldn't be here.

[Brian Green]

There's a bad spot. This is a bad spot. I'm telling you we shouldn't be here. Lighting is terrible.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

The Whistler. Whistler man's making gray. He's digging graves.

[Buck]

It's me digging some graves. Who are these idiots? Hey, stay away from my grave. That's my dog and my wife. I buried him in the family plot. This place gives me the shivers. I'm not sure what the hell it is, but it looks like a burial ground.

[Brian Green]

This place gives me the herpes. This place gives me a bad case of the clap.

[Buck]

I can tell you right now, if these are grave sites, they're awful big. That some bitch here must be 10 foot long. I'm getting nervous. Yeah, you ain't the only one, brother. This is.

[Brian Green]

Hey, you ain't the only one, brother. Let's. Let's do this. Let's stay around in the dark for a couple more hours and see what happens.

[Buck]

This is eerie. There's no. There's no way this is an Indian burial ground. There's no active Native Americans in this part of the country. It's too well upkeep. And something has been in here taking care of it. I don't think it's a grave site. I disagree. Look at all these humped up dirt.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Dig one up.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, go ahead. Get a shovel. Lie down.

[Buck]

You better not. Over eight and a half feet long. There's Bigfoot buried in these. I don't think so. I gotta go with Buck on this one, Trapper. I think it's a burial ground too. I'll tell you what, there's one way to find out.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you what, there's only one way to find out.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

That's right.

[Buck]

It's my goldfish. I buried it in the back for my kid. He didn't know what to do, so we buried it. By the way, Something humped up here making a mistake this is a bigfoot burial ground, and I'm about to prove it.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I. Wow. There might be some proof of something under there.

[Buck]

Get ready. They're up there. Damn it. We got him. The minute buck started digging in this dirt, all hell broke loose. I mean, they were whistling from this direction, this direction, and this direction. There's another one over there.

[Brian Green]

And rather than call scientific authoritize, we have decided to put the thermals on them. The whistler. It's so stupid.

[Buck]

In front of you, Trapper. Damn whistler. That way. Whistle is, man.

[Brian Green]

They're coming toward us again. If I'm them, I just start shooting. You know what I'm saying? I'm not waiting for someone to kill me. I'm just shooting up this way, man.

[Buck]

That screech and whistle noise, man, it's just piercing. I'll tell you what. We definitely got them po'd. We gotta get out of here, guys.

[Brian Green]

It's a train whistle that the kids get for Halloween at the shitty houses. You know what I'm saying? Here's a whistle. Be a good boy for Santy Claus.

[Buck]

Team into side by side and scoot our asses off this burial ground before all the hits a fan. Them damn things could be on his head. Good job, brother. I don't know how many midnight whistlers are coming down that hill, but they're mad, and we don't want to shoot them. They're a long ways away from the trap. The best thing to do is just get out of dodge.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Why don't they want to shoot them?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, why don't they want to shoot them and then follow up to this. Did anybody send, like, archaeologists or something to the grave sites to follow up on this? No, of course not.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

No, no, no, no.

[Brian Green]

Because that would make too much f sense. Wow.

[Buck]

I didn't know if we was gonna make it out.

[Brian Green]

I didn't know if we were gonna make it out of there. But we did have time to scoot our fat asses down to the four buys and get down the hill.

[Buck]

I had two on my left. I had four on the third. There was. There was at least four. Thermal. I seen them on the thermal with Jeff. By God, they were watching. I'll guarantee you the man, he touched that. Oh, it was on there. That's.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it was on. Let's stand around here and talk about it again. That's what we always do. We can't actually see it on the camera, like the video camera that we happen to have recording this for television, but we'll Stand around and talk about it afterwards.

[Buck]

As soon as I was about to dig into that grave, the most ear piercing whistle let off I've ever heard. They had a surrounding and their whistles were so loud it hurt my ears. I bet when they started whistling.

[Brian Green]

Last time I heard a scream like that, I was trying to bid my wife for our 10th anniversary when they.

[Buck]

All was coming in. I guarantee it. Reinforcements. We came here after the midnight question.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

That guy might be my favorite.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, he's. Oh, Bill's my favorite for sure. For sure. He just screams. Yeah. There's no comment. There's no sense to what he's saying.

[Buck]

That bigfoot in the appalachia isn't folklore. He's fact. We found his nest back on. We saw a trail camera picture of and we heard that legendary whistle. I believe that we've made an incredible.

[Brian Green]

Discovery, but we will not be following up on it next week. We'll be follow. We'll be chasing the whisper wolves.

[Buck]

I don't know if it's a burial ground. I do know those midnight whispers ran us out of there. People and creatures protect things that are very important to them. There was something there that they did not want us to find. I don't know why y' all was in such a hurry for me to dig in that big pile of dirt.

[Brian Green]

It's time for laughs with Huck and Chuck.

[Buck]

Wanna do it? We twist your arms. Yeah. Boy, you look like a cat in a litter box.

[Brian Green]

All right, guys, we've been funny. Now it's time to move on to the next one. Yes. Even though we found clear evidence of bigfoot in his burial sites and his nest and the whistlers and we have them all on camera. Let's go home. I mean, honestly, if there is. If you need any more proof that this isn't real, Then just imagine this. All the things that have happened over all of these seasons that they've caught on camera and been a part of and found. And the whisper wolves and the thunder brother knife or whatever, they never once presented these things to any kind of authority. They just move on to the next episode. Like you do when you find the discovery of humanity. It'd be like if an alien came to you. It'd be like if alf was living in your house and you didn't call somebody about it. All right, anyway, let's take a break and we'll be back with more shenanigans.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

The boys from elves going up to number two.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. We're almost there. We're almost at Number one.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail]. want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now, I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

We're on to number two. Here we go. The excitement is building.

[Buck]

We've got a Bigfoot that's attacking these poachers. On the other hand, you got us out here tonight with lights, guns, and this phantom of the forest. He can't distinguish the difference. The phantom of the forest has been attacking poachers out here. That has lights and guns. We have lights and guns.

[Brian Green]

It's perfectly safe, though. We're the good guys.

[Buck]

We run into either one of these, the bigfoot or the poachers.

[Brian Green]

We've got a thunder penis. I mean, a thunder axe.

[Buck]

Gonna be a fight here tonight. We're working through this corn. It's hard to see anything in here. Oh, the cornfield.

[Brian Green]

Ah, the cornfield. This is one of my favorites.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Good old cornfield.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, where they're run indiscriminately through the cornfield, shooting at each other.

[Buck]

Guy vanished. It's difficult to find any sign in the field, especially in this corn field. Oh, what was that? What was that? Did you hear that? I heard it. I heard it. Sounds like something big took up through the woods.

[Brian Green]

No, it's just me. I'm getting some corn to make my kids popcorn. It's so good. I love it.

[Buck]

Let's go up there. I don't think that was that person we seen out they are.

[Brian Green]

He is so big and not. You know, everyone has different body shapes, but this is a big body shape. Like, it's clear. Maybe ozempic. I don't know. Something.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Yeah, I don't think you should be wearing those pants.

[Brian Green]

No.

[Buck]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

He doesn't need to wear a shirt tucked in. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, when you're that big, give yourself a chance to look normal.

[Buck]

Here, Go in the corn. Whatever it was up there in the woods was way too heavy. Look at this trail up through here, Huck.

[Brian Green]

Speaking of way too heavy. What?

[Buck]

Here, look here. Yeah, it's probably what we heard breaking. Yeah, or something stepped on it. That's fresh.

[Brian Green]

That's fresh. How do you know that? How do you know that a tree? That a broken dead branch on the ground? Broken is fresh. I mean, I'm sure that there are people that can tell you that, but I'm sure it's not Huck.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

I don't think so.

[Buck]

Any more sign, Buck?

[Brian Green]

Oh. Oh.

[Buck]

What do we got here? Look here. Look here. Look. What's this?

[Brian Green]

It's penis eyes. Ah, that's the circle K down the road.

[Buck]

Oh, boy. We got company, boys. Oh, Army. How many of them is it? There's two side. Besides coming in, there's four.

[Brian Green]

Oh, they're coming in.

[Buck]

There's another vehicle, boys. This ain't good. No, it's not.

[Brian Green]

Those are the poachers. And they're ready to kill anybody who gets in between them in whatever it is you poach in Kentucky. What exactly is that? Are there elephants for their ivory? Rhinoceroses? I'm not sure what you poach in Kentucky.

[Buck]

Well, they know where we're here. Soon as those vehicles stopped, people start getting out. There's a whole pile of them. Hey.

[Brian Green]

Hey. I'll shoot. I'll shoot, too. We'll be dead.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

That's the call.

[Brian Green]

Well, I don't like the math on that one. All right, we're gonna go. Talk to you later.

[Buck]

Bring your buddies. Buck, I got weapons up. Well, I got something for you. What's that? Oh, damn.

[Brian Green]

Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

I got something for you.

[Brian Green]

What's that? For you? I'm gonna indiscriminately shoot at you. I want to go to jail for murder.

[Buck]

In trouble, boys? I don't know if they're trying to kill us. I don't know if they're trying to scare us. Any way you look at this, it's not good. We need to come up with a plan fast. Willie, Bill, we're getting shot at.

[Brian Green]

Willie, I'm on the ground. I don't think I'm going to be able to get back up.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Who lays down like that?

[Brian Green]

I know. Who lays down on their back. Yeah. That's not the ready position. You got to lay down on your front so you could crawl around. Right now, the only thing you could do is roll off the hill. Just to let you know, there's, like, lights off in the distance. They're yelling at each other. And then one of them fake shoots, right? And then so all of these guys slowly but surely sit down on their butts and then lay on their backs like they're gonna do star. Like they're gonna stargaze. You don't lay on your back. You lay on your front. Now you can't even see.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Straight up.

[Brian Green]

So stupid.

[Buck]

I copy that. What do you want?

[Brian Green]

I copy that. 10.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

4.

[Brian Green]

We're certainly gonna get murdered. Do you want me to shoot back or. Or what?

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

This guy, he's looking.

[Brian Green]

He's looking. He's looking after his gun. This is so stupid.

[Buck]

Cornfield, turn your lights off. Lay down and get hidden now. All right, I copy that.

[Brian Green]

He said lay down and get hip.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Get hidden.

[Brian Green]

Get hip. Oh, I thought he said get hip. I'm like, cool. That was cool. Lay down and get hip. All the kids are doing it. Lay down.

[Buck]

Hey, we gotta find a safe.

[Brian Green]

Everybody's doing a brand new dance now. Hey, now lay down in the forest.

[Buck]

We gotta find a place to hide, man. Now they're moving. Now they're moving. Are they coming or what?

[Brian Green]

I don't know. I can't tell. I'm staring at the stars.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

He just sat up.

[Brian Green]

He just said. I'm surprised he could see up, honestly.

[Buck]

They're moving to our right. I got him. Buck ain't interested in us. They're going off. They're going over in the woods.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

They're going to poach.

[Brian Green]

Sorry. Wrong mountain. Monsters. Don't mind all the shooting.

[Buck]

Got him on the thermal. I ain't saying nothing, Buck. I got nothing on the thermal. These poachers, they headed off towards your woods. We know where they're going. They're going after this bigfoot and they're gonna kill it. That little cheesy bastard.

[Brian Green]

And that's exactly what we're going to do. Finders keepers.

[Buck]

Still can't come up and face you man to man. There's a light back there. There's a light back there. There's a light right there.

[Brian Green]

Quick, quick. What do we do?

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Lay on your back.

[Brian Green]

Lay on your back. Stare at the stars. Play dead. He can't hear us. I don't know. We have guns in our hands. What should we do?

[Rachel]

Lights out.

[Buck]

Lights out. Lights out.

[Brian Green]

Lights out. Lights out. Lights out.

[Buck]

Lights out.

[Brian Green]

Lights out. Except for you, cameraman. We gotta get this on film.

[Buck]

All right, we got our lights out. They're starting to close in on us now. All right, we'll go radio silence. All right?

[Brian Green]

We'll go radio silence. Good luck. See you later. You good? Huck? Huck, they've got guns and they're coming up on us. I think we're trapped. All right, I'll turn off the radio so I can't hear you getting killed.

[Buck]

Okay, bye.

[Brian Green]

I'm sorry about all the drama, but I can't listen to you get murdered. I'll be at Krispy Kreme. I'll talk to you later. Okay? We'll go radio silent, okay? No, nothing we can do. Sorry. Should I call the cops? I'm gonna go radio silent. Let me. Let me turn off my radio. Let me turn off my radio communication. Yeah, so I can't hear you. Die. I can't live with that kind of guilt. Not me. I gotta go. Moving near one.

[Buck]

Guys, we gotta go. Let's go.

[Brian Green]

Guys, we gotta go. I don't know where we're gonna go, but we gotta go. Guys, we gotta go. It's twofers at Burger King. Two first of chilies. It's Margarita Hour. And Chili's. They gotta go, guys. Chips and sauce, all you can eat.

[Buck]

Willie just radioed over. He said them poachers are coming right up by him. We gotta get over there and give him some backup. We can get up there and get behind them.

[Brian Green]

Well, there's certainly moving with a sense of urgency.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

They're plotting along.

[Buck]

God, we'll have to drop one. We don't want him to get.

[Brian Green]

Did he say we have to drop one? Guys, I gotta drop one. I'll be. Or two.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

I'll catch up.

[Brian Green]

I'll catch up with you guys. Meanwhile, maintain radio silence.

[Buck]

Willie and Bill. Oh, what was that? What was that? Whoa, whoa.

[Brian Green]

You hear that?

[Buck]

Yeah, Right there. Right there. I bet that's that first guy we seen.

[Brian Green]

Hey. Hey, you. Get over here with your gun. Get over here with your gun. After shooting at me, I want to talk to you man to man. Man to man. Tell me about why you're trying to kill me.

[Buck]

Hey, where'd you go?

[Brian Green]

You in here?

[Buck]

Oh, I got moving. I got moving. I got moving. I got moving. Up Ahead. Up ahead. Right in here. Right in here.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

God.

[Brian Green]

Jeez. They're shooting at each other out in the cornfield.

[Buck]

Buck, you're right. I'm all right. I'm all right. What happened, Buck? Something grabbed me. You okay? Get him up, Jeff. No.

[Brian Green]

I'm cold. Don't mind all the blood Pouring out of my shirt. He looks like he's got blood on his shirt.

[Buck]

I know the bigfoot.

[Brian Green]

Oh, no. It's just a logo in here.

[Buck]

Did he hit you? He grabbed me, Buck. Was luck.

[Brian Green]

He grabbed me here in hell.

[Buck]

Jeff and me was ahead of him. That bigfoot come around, hit him from behind. He let out a scream and shot at this thing. I want out of the corn. See the field?

[Brian Green]

I want out of the corn. I don't like it anymore in here. I'm very scared of the corn now. I don't like it. I want out of the corn.

[Buck]

Slow down, buck. Slow down. We need Willie and bill. We need to get everybody together. This is. This isn't safe. I lost my radio.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Well, you're not using it anyway.

[Buck]

We don't have.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it was radio silence. Who cares radio anymore?

[Buck]

We can't just go yelling and screaming for Willie and bill with our headlights on. We're going to attract.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. What's different this time? Why can't you go yelling and screaming? That's what you guys do.

[Buck]

Potential in poachers. And we'll definitely attract the attention of that bigfoot. The only thing we can think to do Is to start heading towards a trap. Wait a minute. What's that?

[Brian Green]

Okay, so wait. Let me get this straight. We're ignoring the fact that you just got grabbed by a bigfoot and shot at it?

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Yeah, it was a close call.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's a close call. But let's move on. I don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about it. It's rather embarrassing for me. So we just move on. I appreciate it.

[Buck]

What the hell's he doing?

[Brian Green]

Okay, so. This is ridiculous. This is ridiculous. It appears they have put a bigfoot trap that looks like an igloo made out of wood. I'm not sure. It looks like a pyramid. Yeah, like a pyramid or something made out of wood. And it's. It's like tipping itself over, which I imagine they're now going to tell us was bigfoot tipping it over. But I don't see anything anywhere. It's like a. Someone's pulling it down. Oh, you can even. You can actually see the string wrapped around it. That's crazy. Bad editing.

[Buck]

We're standing there, all of a sudden our trap comes down, crashes, starts dragging off, taking trees with it. These idiots tore up our trap.

[Brian Green]

Okay, why are you not. You're three feet from it. Why are you not going to see what is going on? Is someone gonna go investigate?

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

No.

[Buck]

That's how you wanna play? Let go get him. Let's go. Will it. What the hell? No, this ain't happening. I don't know.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Poachers or for bigfoot?

[Brian Green]

I have no idea. I think they're purposefully confusing us because I thought that was bigfoot. But they're saying it's the poachers that are doing this. But they are literally standing a foot and a half from it. Why not like, I don't know, shoot somebody or something.

[Buck]

But I gotta see who the hell.

[Brian Green]

I mean, I don't condone just shooting people, but I also don't condone like incongruent television. It's got to make some kind of sense.

[Buck]

Pour my up. I'm going over there right now.

[Brian Green]

I'm going over there right now. And you better have your room cleaner. There's no dinner for you, young man.

[Buck]

Get on out of that truck, brother. Watch the pastor's side. Watch that cat.

[Brian Green]

Watch that.

[Buck]

People's in there. What are you doing? You with one of them poachers? You with us?

[Brian Green]

You was one of them poachers? That's right. That it's me and I'm a poacher.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

They've come up on another guy and they've blurred out his face.

[Brian Green]

That's right, Chrissy.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

He didn't agree to be on camera.

[Brian Green]

I am from the west Kentucky poacher clan.

[Buck]

Idiots. What are you talking about? What the hell you doing here? Tired of hell out of it. This guy paid me a thousand dollars to take down this traffic. Say hi to have it out here. Okay, so you all you know is this guy paid you a lot of money to come out here and tear this thing down. That's exactly what I'm doing. Well, I first started talking with this, well, all's forgiven.

[Brian Green]

All's well that ends well. Talk to you later.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Maybe it was the guy who owned the cornfield.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, maybe somebody's not so happy that you're running around their cornfield building traps and shooting indiscriminately.

[Buck]

This guy, I wasn't sure if he's full of crap or if he was telling us the truth. But the more we talk to him, I think he's more.

[Brian Green]

We talked to him the More. I liked him, and I gave him a job at craft services.

[Buck]

The up and up. It's cool. I'm Buck.

[Brian Green]

Hey, it's cool. Don't worry about it. I'm bugged, so don't worry about all that shooting at me. I'm all good. It's all good. Good brother. Split the money. Yeah, Split the thousand dollars. What do you say?

[Buck]

Nice to meet you, Larry. The guy that you dealt with is part of a poaching ring.

[Brian Green]

Poaching ring? The west Kentucky poaching ring. What are they poaching? I still want to know. I mean, I understand there is, like, you know, you took too many deer this season. You're killing the babies or whatever. There is poaching. Everywhere there's poaching. But you usually don't think of west Kentucky and poaching. Usually think of, like, South Africa or a ring. Yeah, yeah. Or a poaching ring. Like, how much money can you make poaching, Bigfoot? I don't know.

[Buck]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get involved in this, man. I try to keep it low key. No, I understand.

[Brian Green]

No, it's all good. We're just out here killing, murdering monsters and getting shot at, and I understand. I just got attacked by a bigfoot, not but yonder. And look at me. Everything's all good. Don't worry about it. You want to go have a bear?

[Buck]

This has nothing to do with you. This isn't on you. No hard feelings, man.

[Brian Green]

No hard feelings. Clearly you aren't lying. We don't even want to investigate. Just take our trap and, yeah, go ahead, yank it down. No problem. Spent all day making that. Thanks. Appreciate it.

[Buck]

Let's get the hell out of here. It is what it is, dude.

[Brian Green]

Yep, it is.

[Buck]

Because I'm not real happy with Larry after he tore down our trap. But I can't be too mad at him. Cause he didn't know he's doing anything wrong. Look at that. Don't do no damn good with the traps in thousand pieces.

[Brian Green]

Gee whiz.

[Buck]

Look at that. So much for this.

[Brian Green]

Gee willikers. Gee willikers.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

That's so funny.

[Brian Green]

It is. Damn the weird twists and turns that these storylines take. I mean, my question is, do they, like, get together beforehand? I mean, there must be some. Yeah, they have, like a content discussion. Like, okay, we're gonna go chasing the, you know, thunderclappers and the cheek clappers. West Kentucky cheek clappers. We're gonna go chase them, and then we're gonna run into a organized Crime, poaching ring. And then one of the poachers is gonna pay a guy to tear down our trap, and then I'm gonna get attack. I mean, these. These are wild stories that don't seem to have any kind of rhyme or reason to them, really. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

No, I agree. It's.

[Buck]

It's.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

It's.

[Brian Green]

It's hilarious is what it is. That's what it is.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

It's entertaining.

[Brian Green]

Yes, it is.

[Buck]

It looks like a frigging tornado hit it. This is sickening right here, guys. These poachers ain't playing games. No, they're not. They shot at us. They destroyed our trap. This Bigfoot attacked me early on in this investigation.

[Brian Green]

They slept with our wives.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Bigfoot attack.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Bigfoot attack. And asterisk. Bigfoot attacked me.

[Buck]

But let's.

[Brian Green]

Let's not get into weeds about all this.

[Buck]

We got into it with a bunch of poachers that we probably shouldn't have been messing with. Not that they're tougher than us, but they're a lot dirtier. Willie, Bill. We was looking for you guys for a while. I was hoping.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, what happened to you guys being chased by a single individual with a gun? All of a sudden, you just popped out of nowhere. Hey, it's all good. Don't worry about it. All's well, then. We were looking for you. Yeah, for you.

[Buck]

Hey, boys.

[Brian Green]

Hey, boys. It's the west Kentucky poaching r.

[Buck]

Hey.

[Brian Green]

Boys, it's me, west, the leader of the west Kentucky poachers. And I just wanted to let you know we've got your number and some nude photographs we're going to disseminate on Bigfoot.com if you don't leave this here cornfield and let us poach some more bigfoots.

[Buck]

Listen. Yeah, go ahead. I enjoyed ripping your trap down, boys.

[Brian Green]

And I'm gonna enjoy taking your pants down. You better take your new fangled camera crew out of there. Do you remember cowboy Ken? No. That's because we have him. We buried him last episode in the makeshift gravesite you found. Don't fuck with the Kentucky poachers.

[Buck]

The guy in the truck. Yeah, whatever. Are you serious? It's Larry. The one that tore down our trap. The one that suckered me into believing he was just hired to do a job. See?

[Brian Green]

That's right. I fooled you simply by saying my name is Larry Diabolical.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Like an episode of Scooby Doo.

[Brian Green]

This is like the minions movie. It's like. That's right. It's Larry. And I am pissed off that I Got Tom fooled into believing that he was a good guy simply because he said, hey, I'm Larry. Sorry.

[Buck]

You gonna tell me that dude in that truck, he pulled the wall clear over us. He tore down our trash and then made sure we knew he had the last laugh.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Hey, boy.

[Brian Green]

Hey, Larry. Hey, boys. It's me, Larry. I was the one who stole your radio. I was the one who pulled down the trap. I was the one who paid myself a thousand dollars to tear down your trap. Riddle me that, Batman. Bam.

[Buck]

Pow.

[Brian Green]

Clap myself.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Who is the one?

[Brian Green]

We're dealing with an evil genius here. He even fooled himself into believing he paid himself $1,000. That's how good he is.

[Buck]

The only thing I can tell you is you stick out in that truck, and it's a small town.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get a buck. That's a good one.

[Buck]

Buck.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Get him around town.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'm gonna get him around town. I'm gonna order extra hash browns on your waffle house ticket.

[Buck]

Those poachers, they pulled the wall over eyes tonight. They horn snoggled us. Bamboozled us. And I tell you what, the way I feel about this Bigfoot at this point, point, I'll stay out of his woods. I'll let him take care of these poachers himself. Oh, he takes them out. Oh, that was a good one.

[Brian Green]

That was a good one. I like that one. I like when they get Larry. Yeah. I like when there's other human interaction, like there's. There's some kind of MacGuffin to worry about because, you know, we can't see anything that they're chasing. But when you can see another human being and Larry. Larry was a sneaky one. I do have to say Larry was a sneaky one. All right, let's. Let's take a break, and we'll be back with number one. Number one, most scary hunt in mountain monsters history. We'll be back.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show. Leave us a message at 2124333 TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

I don't know that I'm mentally prepared for the number one.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

I don't know if anybody is.

[Brian Green]

I. I can only hope it's half as good as the last one. All right, let's get right into it so we have enough time to get to get it all in. Here we go. The number one best or scariest or whatever their. Whatever the clickbait title is chase in mountain monsters history. Here we go.

[Buck]

We're back in central Kentucky and we're going after the squalling Savage.

[Brian Green]

The squalling looks a lot like the thunder brothers. Looks a lot like the lightning man. Looks a lot like the Whistler. It looks a lot like everything, just a different color fur. Yeah. Zoom in to this three year old's drawing.

[Buck]

Savage is a huge bigfoot, eight and a half foot tall, between six and eight hundred pounds.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

There's a ten foot.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, well, listen, you know, they come in all shapes and sizes. Chris. He takes all kinds wingspan and dwells in trees.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Dwells in trees.

[Buck]

Nothing. I don't understand that. I really thought back at the burial ground whenever I went down there that things would kick off. I had no idea I'd have to come back in here this far. And nothing. I don't understand. Whoa.

[Brian Green]

I really thought back there the party in the woods, we were gonna get things to kick off. I didn't realize I have to go this deep in the woods to find me a hippie chick.

[Buck]

Through a triass.

[Brian Green]

He threw a tree at us.

[Buck]

We gotta get out of here. Hang on, hang on. It's stuck on the side to side. We'll go over top of it.

[Brian Green]

We'll go directly toward the danger. What you gotta understand is they're on a side by side or a 4x4. A golf cart. The fancy golf cart. And he's talking on the camera and then all of a sudden there's a loud noise. But we never saw the front of the the what was out the windshield in the first place? So that tree could have been there the entire. Probably was there the entire time, and they just pretended a loud noise. Yeah. And now rather, since the tree was thrown at them from the forward direction, rather than go backwards back to safety, they're gonna go forward toward whatever just threw something at them. Makes sense. And if a 4x4 can. If a golf cart can go over it, is it really that dangerous in the first place? Probably that.

[Buck]

We got to go. Huckleberry. Uncle Barry. Go ahead, Buck.

[Brian Green]

Buck to Huck. Huck the buck.

[Buck]

I'm past the graveyard about 200 yardside and hit me. Bill, you're up next. Start blowing your whistle, Jeff.

[Brian Green]

Bill, you're up next. Start blowing your whistle and attract him directly to you so I can get away.

[Buck]

You're right.

[Brian Green]

Keep your eyes open.

[Buck]

All right, Momo, Why? I'm coming as quick as I can, man. I'll be up there as quick as I can. Copy that, Buck.

[Brian Green]

Copy, copy, copy, copy, copy, copy, copy, Copy cop. Copy, copy. Huck, Buck. Buck to Buck. Huck to Buck. Chuck to Buck. Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill. Coming your way. Coming your way. Stay there. Start whistling. Go there.

[Buck]

Chuck, Chuck, Chuck to Buck. Buck to Chuck.

[Brian Green]

Radio silence. Maintain radio silence. It's also fast and furious. I don't know what we do. What do we do?

[Buck]

Got my eyes for Bill. Buck just got this party started. Now it's the old marine's turn. I'm gonna blow on this whistle. Get him. Coming right up the canyon.

[Brian Green]

There's my train whistle. That is a train whistle. It's a child's train whistle, Bill.

[Buck]

I'm still looking. I don't see anything yet. Give me another whistle. Bill. I got something. It's big. I got movement down over the hill. Talk to me. What direction?

[Brian Green]

It's nine, ten, nine. It's John Popper. Here he comes.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Talk to me. Which direction?

[Brian Green]

Here he comes.

[Buck]

Straight over the hill for me, Bill. All right, Bill. He's closing in. He's about 30, 40 yards. Jump in your hole now. Get in there, car.

[Rachel]

Get in there.

[Brian Green]

Get in there.

[Buck]

Get in the hole there, car.

[Brian Green]

Get the jump in the hole. Give me a hug. Stay warm with body heat. Take your clothes off. Roll on top of me. Grind a little bit to the left. Stick your finger in my butt. I like it. Oh, he left the cameraman outside. He wanted. You're not watching this. But he dug a hole and put a piece of, like, a wood door on top with a bunch of leaves and foliage. So when he Covered it. It just looked like the ground. And he says, quick, get in here. But the cameraman didn't get in there and he just closed the door. So I guess now the cameraman's fucked. These guys aren't very considerate, are they?

[Buck]

I got something in the tree right there.

[Brian Green]

It's a bird. It's a yellow breasted cardinal. You know how rare those are?

[Buck]

Something over here. Now he's going. I'm going. Huh? Huckleberry. I'm going to the safe hole there.

[Brian Green]

Huckleberry. I'm making a bunch of noise so he can follow me.

[Buck]

Ah, Jeff had to go to plan B. He's got up morning.

[Brian Green]

Jeff had to go to plan B. He forgot to pull out. I gotta go to the pharmacy real quick. Get. Get him some medicine.

[Buck]

Here's something coming. It's a little ways out, but it's coming this way.

[Brian Green]

Chuck the buck, buck to juck. Start shooting indiscriminately. Quick.

[Buck]

Too close. He's coming right in on us. We gotta get in that hole. We gotta get in the hole.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Too close. I mean, he's got a gun.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's got a. You have a gun, number one. Number two, how did you make all these elaborate holes in the ground? When did you have time to do that?

[Buck]

We got a Bigfoot about 50 yards out from my hole. I don't know what bigfoot it is, but he's damn close. Just hold tight, Huck. I'm coming.

[Brian Green]

Hold tight, honey. I'm on my way. He said hun. Did he say hunter? Huck. Either way, it's funny. That way.

[Buck]

I'm coming that way.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

I guess the cameraman's in there with him.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I. I guess the cameraman's in there. Which means that hole is really big. Yeah, He's got a knife in his hands, by the way. He's now in the mud of three feet in the, in the mud. And he's got a trap door on top of him with leaves and foliage. And he's holding one of the biggest hunting knives I've ever seen in my entire life. I imagine what happens next as he starts stabbing upwards at whatever's coming.

[Buck]

Quick.

[Brian Green]

Do a whacking off like motion and kill whatever's on top of you.

[Buck]

Jeff, Wild Bill and Huckleberry's all already in their blinds. Huckleberry has something right on top of him. I gotta go get with him.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Right in between his legs.

[Brian Green]

The camera now they're showing the three different holes or the three other. So we've got Huck running up the mountain with his four by. That's not going very fast because God love him, Huck is a big boy. And then you've got three separate individuals that are now in holes with trap doors on top of them. All have some kind of weapon in their hands. A knife, a shotgun, which. How you're going to shoot that in that hole, I have no idea. But. And it looks like, I don't know, a pipe bomb. I'm not even sure what that is.

[Buck]

Guys, I gotta get over there now.

[Brian Green]

Oh, The top of the door is now shaking. Mud is falling into the pit. Huckleberry is just doing his best to keep his composure. Start stabbing upwards. That's what I do. He done lifted my door up.

[Buck]

Come on.

[Brian Green]

Is that running? That's a slow walk back.

[Buck]

I need backup. Hurry up. Get out of here. Come on, Buck, Huckleberry, one more way. I'm coming as quick as I can, man. I'll be up there as quick as I can. We got bigfoot on our ass.

[Brian Green]

That's the slowest bigfoot I ever see. He's not even traveling at a mile per hour. That poor old man, he's trying his best to make it look scary, but it's not. If. If bigfoot is moving slower than that, then I am officially not afraid of bigfoot.

[Buck]

Bill, I'm on my way to get.

[Brian Green]

You.

[Buck]

Out of here. Huckleberry just got attack.

[Brian Green]

I'm on my way to get you. Drop a pin and share your location. Do you have to find my app? It's real easy. Let me walk you through it. Make sure you update your iPhone 17. Get up here side beside, connect to the local Internet.

[Buck]

Got me and Jeff, bro. We need to get up here and.

[Brian Green]

Give Huckleberry some search for. Fine, man.

[Buck]

Back up. Get in, get in. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Get in, get in, get in, get in. Stay in on the buck, Jeff. Stay on the buck. Yeah, I'm on my way, I'm on my way. We're coming to get you.

[Brian Green]

All right, all right. I got the cameraman in my dick. He's right in his dick. I know. Be careful. I'm liable to pee on you.

[Buck]

This whole team's in trouble. We need to get up there now. Come on, brother.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Come on.

[Buck]

Come on, Jeff. Get in, get in, get in, get in, get in, get in. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Stand on, stand on, stand on.

[Brian Green]

Get out of here. Get out of here.

[Buck]

Jeff. What happened? Was she whistling or something? No, how many of them was there? I said it was two at least. You got to get down off here.

[Brian Green]

Two, maybe 30. I'm not sure because they are not real.

[Buck]

We got to go right now. I'll watch your back. Go. Huckleberry just hollered. I need to get off the top of this trap and go give him some backup. He's more important than this hun. Holy.

[Brian Green]

Did you hear that?

[Buck]

He's squall right there. Go, go, go, go, go. You got to go, bro.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

The squall monster.

[Brian Green]

The squall monster. Go, go, go. You got to go. I know. For eight seasons we've been trying to get images of an actual monster, but you should go now because there is no monster to get images of. Oh, he's zipline. Whoa. Well, that was an interesting way of getting down from the treehouse.

[Buck]

Oh, my God. Go.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

There was a ladder too.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. By the way, the cameraman went down the ladder. He got a harness on and decided to zipline down like six feet. Yes. It took him much longer to zipline than it took the guy to climb down this way. There he is.

[Buck]

There he is.

[Brian Green]

There he is.

[Buck]

What's going on? What's going on?

[Brian Green]

What's going on? Oh, nothing. Just attacked by a ten foot, 385 pound Bigfoot. And my knees bad. And I got a bad back and I forgot my medicine and my angina's acting up, but besides that, everything's fine.

[Rachel]

Attack.

[Buck]

Keep an eye out. He's still here.

[Brian Green]

Someone.

[Buck]

We just pulled up to Huckleberry. He was eyes the size of a coffee cup up. He's scared stiff. He's shaking in his boots. The damn thing wrenched down and picked the damn lid up and pulled it up.

[Brian Green]

No way.

[Buck]

But it was right there. And all I could think of was let out a war hoop. I don't know if it startled a war hoop.

[Brian Green]

War. Good God, y'.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

All.

[Brian Green]

What are we fighting for? Absolutely nothing. That's the only war hoop I could think of.

[Buck]

Fumbled it or whatever, but it backed off a little bit. And that's when I put my ass in the wind and got the hell out of there. You did the right thing, that's for sure. I don't know what went wrong.

[Brian Green]

That's when I gave him the five o' clock savage. I bent over and blasted him with a mighty wind. He ran down the hill.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

I put my butt to the.

[Brian Green]

Yes. I knew that Red Bull and tacos would come in handy.

[Buck]

Come on, guys. Come get me.

[Brian Green]

I mean, how many people can fit in that golf cart. Yeah. That's a lot of people fitting in a golf cart. There's four.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

And the camera.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, four. And the cameraman. Oh, wow. Wild Bill McKi there.

[Buck]

He just radioed over. We got to get over and get him some backup right now.

[Brian Green]

We got to go.

[Buck]

We got.

[Brian Green]

Wait. What are you guys running from? Because you were running to save the other guy, and now you're running to get away from something.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

Something's. Something's happening.

[Buck]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

This is the way this show works. It's just a lot of running and shaky camera work. Okay, here comes the comedy. Ready? There's gonna be a comedy routine right before we get done here.

[Buck]

Heard the whistle. About to send the cameraman down, and I started to come down the ladder, and I could hear the brush cracking. He squalled on me. He squalled on me. He squalled. When Huckleberry yelled for help, Willie decided it's time to bail on the trap. He sent the cameraman down first, and when he was getting ready to come down, he heard a squall right by the trap. So he had to get down there with the cameraman because he was on the ground with the squalling savage.

[Brian Green]

I thought squalling savage. Ya da da da Ya da da da de da da d let's tell some jokes, me and you. Wrap this episode up.

[Buck]

Everything was coming together perfect then. You don't even whistle, and it shows. Something shows up with you, and you don't whistle, and something's on you. I don't understand that. He didn't make a sound, Only what I could hear walking. But when that thing yanked that lid up, I did get a quick view of it, and it wasn't black and it wasn't reddish brown. It was a light collar, I can tell you that. It was a light collar. We know that's not the squalling savage, and we know that's not the midnight whistler. We know that's not. They protect their ground. They're very territorial. I mean, when I let out that yell, it backed away, it seems to me. Yeah. Whoa. With what you're saying, Huck, because there's a. A complete different Bigfoot in here. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Ah, there you go. There it is. We ended. We got it. We got all five.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

That was good.

[Buck]

All right.

[Brian Green]

I like that. I like the color compilation videos because we get a lot of mountain monsters in a short amount of time. All right, well, you know, stay safe out there. It's a dangerous out in the middle of the woods, so don't go there. Yeah. That's all I got to say. And be prepared. I say next time you're camping, dig three or four five to seven foot deep holes and get some old doors and put some foliage on them in case you run into a squalower or a whistler or a diddler or whatever it is out there. You want to make sure you've got the proper resources to take care of yourself. Thank God we have the mountain monsters to show us the way.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

I mean, they're a cost.

[Brian Green]

Buck to huck. Huck the buck. Shock Buck. Billy. Billy. Billy, Billy, Billy. Copy, copy, copy, copy, copy, copy. Oh, so much fun. So much fun. All right, you know, we'll get back to it someday. We'll get back to the mountain monster someday. But I, I felt it like it had been too long and I saw a video came up on my YouTube and I was like, oh yeah, we got to do the mountain monsters. Plus a lot of our comments on the various platforms say that their favorites are the mountain monsters. So there you go. From me to you, a gift. Holla, holla back at you, boy. All right, right. TCBpodcast.com that's where you go. You find all the information about Chrissy and I, all the audio, all the video right there from one location. TCB, podcast.com if you want a free sticker, go to the website, hit the contact us button. Drop down menu says I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address. Away it will go. No muss, no fuss. Also, we'd love it if you would contact us on our telephone line line, TCB hotline if you will. Chrissy. 212-4333-TCB 212-212-433322. Holla at your boy. 2023-3382-2212-4333. TCB questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, mountain monsters ideas. Whatever you guys got, send it there or a voicemail if you'd like that at the commercial break on Instagram and YouTube.com the commercial break for all the episodes on video the same day they air here on audio. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.

[Kristen Joy Hoad]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

But I'll tell you that I love you. I'll say best to you and best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say goodbye.

[Buck]

Bye.

[Brian Green]

I get asked.