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Brian Green
This episode is sponsored in part by Jumba Casino. Why wait for fun when Jumba Casino is just a click away? Play anytime, anywhere. With hundreds of thrilling online social casino games like Bingo, slots and Solitaire. It's free to play with no purchase necessary and new games drop every week to keep the excitement fresh. Plus claim free daily login bonuses and a free welcome bonus just for joining. Start your next adventure@chumbacasino.com no purchase necessary. VGW Group void war prohibited by law 18/ Terms and Conditions do apply. This episode is sponsored by our new favorite partner, Dollar Shave Club. I could not be more thrilled that one of my favorite brands has joined the commercial break as a sponsor. Dollar Shave Club been a customer for a very long time. One very happy customer indeed. It's no surprise that facial hair is personal. It grows on our face. We all grow it, we all shave it, and all of us style it differently. That's what makes us all unique and interesting. And honestly, I think that's pretty great. Dollar Shave Club Everybody and every budget. Whether you like to go smooth like a baby's bottom or you're maintaining a fantastic manscaped beard like I do, Dollar Shave Club offers grooming products that are always high quality and always the right price. So let me introduce you to some of their top sellers. I think they're going to make your grooming routine feel like a spa day. And anybody who listens to the commercial break knows how much I like a spa day. The Club Series 6 Blade Razor this isn't just any razor, it's a mini vacation for your face. It's got six stainless steel blades and a vitamin E infused lubricant strip. This razor delivers the closest, most comfortable shave. Honestly, I feel just a little too pampered after I use this. And the Precision trimmer is perfect for getting those little detailed areas like right under the nose or around your jawline. Because when you're going to keep it high and tight, you need to get it precise. But don't take my word for it, try it for yourself. Dollar Shave Club products are now available anywhere, so you can order them from the website, Amazon or get them at your favorite retailer near you. That's what I do. Alternatively, you can visit the site right now for 20 off $20 or more and get your products delivered right to your door. Visit dollarshaveclub.com. and use the code TCB for 20% off $20 or more. And remember, whatever you shave, welcome to the club. Thanks to Dollar Shave Club for being a Sponsor of the commercial break. Hello. No one is available to take your call. Please leave a message after the tone. Feel from the deepest part of your loins, the ancestors that came before you and their ancestors feel it right in your penis chakra. Feel it deep in your penis chakra. Then imagine you have a va chakra. The chakra of a vagina. Now our ancestors are really talking to each other. Yeah, this is the place. Look deep inside your manhole. Find inner peace, inner sanctum in your inner rectum. On this episode of the commercial break, I am pissed off that I got Tom fooled into believing that he was a good guy simply because he said, hey, I'm Larry. Sorry.
Chris
You gonna tell me that dude in that truck, he pulled the wall clear over us. He tore down our trap and then made sure we knew he had the last laugh.
Joy
Hey, boy.
Brian Green
Hey, Larry. Hey, boys. It's me, Larry. I was the one who stole your radio. I was the one who pulled down the trap. I was the one who paid myself $1,000 to tear down the trap. Riddle me that, Batman. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, boy. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this, Chris and Joy. Hope they best to you, Chris. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. Appreciate it. Like your hat. Menfo. Hat. Menfo. Right around. Not right around the corner, but coming up quickly. I'm sure Jeff is a frazzled.
Joy
He is.
Brian Green
He's a frizzled and a frazzled.
Joy
There's a lot going on.
Brian Green
Have we announced who's going to be there yet?
Joy
Not yet.
Brian Green
Not yet. Okay, well, let me know when I can talk about it. I think I. I think. I think you told me, but it's a very. It's a secret. These things are very secretive. We don't want to do Fyre Fest 3 at Memphis. No. And I'll do a fyre fest update later on in the week, but just know that it's definitely not happening. Definitely not happening.
Joy
I'm shocked.
Brian Green
Yeah. Of all, I am less shocked that the mountain monsters find don't never find something that they're chasing than I am that Fyre Fest 2 is in fact not happening. This is correct, but it's not happening. I wanted to quickly, and I know you guys, on Friday we watched mountain monsters. We were getting through the top five scariest hunts and we got to number three, meaning we had just kind of come up on number Three. We'll get back to it. We promised we will. But I wanted to ask you real quick. Did you know that Alec Baldwin has a new reality television show? The Baldwin?
Joy
Yes, I did. I've. I've seen some press about it and I've seen it pop up on Max, I think, or Netflix.
Brian Green
Max.
Joy
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's on TLC if I'm interested in watching it, but I don't know.
Brian Green
So I've had it on in the background because a lot of times, you know, there's a couple of channels that I'll just keep on in the background. It's like mindless entertainment that I really don't have to pay attention to. But I'll tune in if I hear something interesting. And I was watching or I had it on in the background and man, Alec, listen. Nothing like that poor woman's family who will never recover from.
Joy
So sad.
Brian Green
That was the craziest thing.
Joy
It sounds like a freak accident.
Brian Green
I believe that it was. Yeah, I believe it was a freak accident and I believe everybody, including Alec, probably could have took more care to make sure that things were okay. You, of course, had the person, the armorer, who was supposed to never have real bullets anywhere on set, but did, which is just insane to me. I don't think it was some grand conspiracy. I think she was a kid, A kid who was also partying at night and made some mistakes, some big ones that cost somebody their life. But then Alec, I don't think he checked the guy. Whatever, who cares? It doesn't matter. But anyway, that must be a very frightening, terrifying, difficult thing to go through for everybody and for the person who pulled the trigger, Alec. And when you're watching that show, I will give the show, it's been criticized by a lot of people and I can understand why, you know, on the backs of this death, you're out there trying to rehab your image or make money or whatever the. Whatever the criticism is. Agreed, all of that. But then also when you watch the show, you can see just how vulnerable and in pain Alec is. He is very much stewing in his own shit, so to speak. And the.
Joy
I'm sure he feels horrible, of course.
Brian Green
Yeah, he's not gloating in this. Right. And I think that's pretty clear. I don't know, but. And he's a public figure, so of course he went and did the obligatory interview so that people can get the questions answered. They feel like they have some idea. He's got to defend himself in some way, shape or form. He's a public figure. But what I was going to share is that people stewing in their own shit is never something easy to watch them dealing with that kind of pain. And this was recorded the three weeks before he was to be the trial. The trial. And so it's like really intense. And I was just watching a scene before you got here. I was just watching a scene where him and his wife are driving up to their Hamptons house or whatever. They're arguing about all kinds of different stuff. And she's just like a whip. She's just telling, you know, get off your ass. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You know, lots of people are in pain here. You have a family to deal with. Like, you got to get your shit together. You got to figure out how to process this pain and process it. But I don't. I put myself in Alex shoes and I don't know how I would process. I don't know how you do process something like that.
Chris
Yeah.
Joy
That's awful.
Brian Green
Yeah. When you know you were responsible for someone else's death in such a terrible and freak way.
Joy
Yeah. It's like car accidents too. Where somebody.
Brian Green
Sure.
Joy
For killing someone.
Brian Green
I did know a guy when I was in my. When I was working at Listed out then giving away Chiante classico in the soft show collabs. I did know a guy, worked with a guy who had gotten into a car accident that was his fault. He ran a red light. Wasn't drunk or anything like that. He ran a red light. He wasn't paying attention. Ran a red light, killed a woman like a lady who had a family. And a couple of nights I went out drinking with him and it didn't take the little bittest pin prick and it all came out.
Joy
Oh, yeah.
Brian Green
And this was like years after it had happened. Like six or seven years after it had happened. And he still had zero reconciliation about it. Zero. It was all right at the surface. And I can only imagine. Imagine that's what guys that go to war must feel like. Police officers, other people who are in terrible incidents and accidents. Anyway, I give the show a little bit of credit. A little bit of credit for showing those very vulnerable, tough moments where it seems like Alec is essentially leaking out of his own skin. They kept it in there. So whether the editors have full control over the final cut or Alec has some kind of approval or whatever it is, I will say that they are showing some of these vulnerable moments. And it. You see just how tough this has been for everybody involved. Now, of course, that, you know, that was. That Hannah. What was her name? Somebody or other. The lady who died. Anyway, whoever died that. Obviously there's no comparison. None. Zero. She. She can never come. Alec can figure a way through this. She can never. And her kids can never. But anyway, I just want to share that the Baldwin show is rather interesting in that sense. Okay, now to something completely unserious. The mountain monsters. We all know them, we all love them, we all think they're ridiculous. And it just keeps getting more ridiculous as they are. Now, counting down, there's a compilation video out there where they count down the top five hunts the mountain monsters have had in their hunting career of mythological bullshit creatures. We just saw them put together. The thunder axe, I guess.
Joy
Well, yeah, it was. See, counting back to number five, it was Bigfoot. Bigfoot in his nest.
Brian Green
Yep.
Joy
And then they up the ante then on number four. And that was the Lightning man, which is a version of Bigfoot that strikes quick, like.
Brian Green
That's right. It's lightning. The Lightning man with the Thunder brothers. The Thunder brothers and the Lightning Man. But if they put together some kind of magical ax, I guess they have protection against the Thunder brothers and the lightning.
Joy
They lifted it up like he was he man.
Brian Green
Yeah, like he was he man. And someone got struck by lightning, by the way, just. And peed himself. Lots of peeing in that episode. Anyway, go back on Friday. You can watch that episode. Let's get right back to it. I think we have some time left in this segment. Let's get right back to it with number three. Here we go.
Chris
And we're going after the Midnight Whistler legend.
Joy
Midnight Whistler.
Brian Green
Now, why do these. All these creatures look alike? They all look exactly the same. They really do. I mean, some are more bulky than others, but it's generally the same principle.
Joy
That this one has green eyes, the other one had red eyes.
Brian Green
And I might add that these animations are absolutely childlike. I mean, you would think that I understand this thing is done on a shoestring budget. It just takes a forest and some. A couple cameramen and terrible sound effects. But you would think that they would spend a little bit of money just to go. I mean, I could get better things done on fiverr. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes. All right, let's get back to it.
Chris
That the Midnight Whistler was the first Bigfoot to come out of the mammoth caves. And we're gonna prove tonight that he exists.
Brian Green
And how are you gonna do that, Buck?
Chris
It looks like he's been dead.
Brian Green
You have never proven anything has existed. How are we gonna do this one?
Chris
We're using this one. I'm gonn. He's been in here. Well, he's not here during the day and he's not here at night.
Brian Green
Oh, point your gun. Point your gun wildly in every direction.
Chris
Right. There he is. Where you go right up through there. Pass that old log right there. I just seen some lift moving. Will it go from the hill?
Brian Green
I saw some logs moving. That's what he said. I saw some logs moving. You saw some logs moving up in a tree? What is this a. It's a mining operation. Oh my God. These guys, they are the. They have really have a specific acting skill set. And that is pointing at things that are not there and screaming really loud.
Chris
Black guys. Son of a.
Brian Green
Did he just say look at those black guys? All right. I just want to make sure we weren't getting into some weird territory.
Chris
Trapper. Go ahead, Buck.
Brian Green
Trapper, Maryland. That's Huckleberry number six. Look at him.
Chris
Hey, we're down here in the nest. Something just come down to the tree on top of us. It's down here with us.
Brian Green
We're down here in the nest. We're down here in the nest.
Chris
We're on our way. We're on our way. Holy. I'm telling you right now, he don't whistle. What do you mean he don't whistle? There's some sort of scream. I've never heard nothing like that. Big old roared like squall. Trapper. Trapper. Just think that bastard could have been up there that night we found it. Or that day we come back in here. I don't know how he got up that high wall that fast. In a matter of just a second he was gone. Straight up.
Brian Green
I don't know why we recall everything that ever happened.
Joy
Whistle.
Brian Green
I'm just a whistling monster down.
Chris
You can whoop goat up that well. How in the hell we get up that bank and we can't get back on that ridge front.
Brian Green
No, there's no way.
Chris
It's straight up and down. We got to come up with a better plan. We got to do. I don't think he was this far up here.
Joy
Let's get bushwhack or whatever the thing's called.
Chris
I'm gonna throw these logs around and scare those fat guys. Yum yum. Let's check it out. What in the world is that?
Brian Green
God damn. What in the world is that? Oh my God. Oh my God.
Joy
It was like a teepee.
Brian Green
It was like a two stick teepee.
Rachel
Three.
Brian Green
Three sticks just Put together like a teepee. But they were tiny. What in the world is that? It's a child. It's a child playing in the forest.
Chris
What the hell? Look at this. Box team. Yeah. Watch your step, guys. Easy now. Easy.
Brian Green
Easy now. Easy. It could be booby trap. Easy now. If they don't say easy four times an episode.
Chris
Easy.
Brian Green
Easy. Go slow into your certain death. Easy. Hey guys, the slower we die, the better.
Chris
Whatever. We got to be careful here. What is this? Is there graves? This is a bad spot. It's a bad spot. I'm telling you we shouldn't be here.
Brian Green
It was a bad spot. It's a bad spot. I'm telling you, we shouldn't be here. Lighting is terrible.
Joy
The Whistler. Whistler man's making great. He's digging graves.
Chris
Digging some graves. Who are these idiots? Hey, stay away from my grave. That's my dog and my wife. I buried him in the family plot. This place gives me the shivers. I'm not sure what the hell it is, but it looks like a burial ground.
Brian Green
This place gives me the herpes. This place gives me a bad case of the clap.
Chris
I can tell you right now if these are grave sites, they're awful big. That some bit your must be 10 foot long. I'm getting nervous. Yeah, you ain't the only one, brother. This is.
Brian Green
Hey, you ain't the only one, brother. Let's. Let's do this. Let's stay around in the dark for a couple more hours and see what happens.
Chris
This is eerie. There's no way this is an Indian burial ground. There's no active native Americans in this part of the country. It's too well upkeep. And something has been in here taking care of it. I don't think it's a grave site. I disagree. Look at all these humped up. Humped up dirt.
Joy
Dig one up.
Brian Green
Yeah, go ahead. Get a shovel. Lie down.
Chris
You better not. Over eight and a half feet long. There's bigfoot buried in these. I don't think so. I gotta go with Buck on this one, Trapper. I think it's a burial ground too. I'll tell you what. There's one way to find out.
Brian Green
I'll tell you what. There's only one way to find out.
Joy
That's right.
Chris
It's my goldfish. I buried it in the back for my kid. He didn't know what to do, so we buried it.
Joy
It.
Chris
By the way, something humped up here. Making a mistake. This is a bigfoot burial ground. And I'm about To prove it.
Brian Green
Oh, I back. Wow. There might be some proof of something under there.
Chris
Get ready. They're up there. Damn it. We got him pissed. The minute Buck started digging in this dirt, all hell broke loose. I mean, they were whistling from this direction, this direction, and this direction.
Brian Green
There's another one over there. And rather than call scientific authoritize, we have decided to put the thermals on them. Whistler, it's so stupid.
Chris
In front of you, Trapper. Damn. Whistler. That way. West. Noise, man.
Brian Green
They're coming toward us again. If I'm them, I just start shooting. You know what I'm saying? I'm not waiting for someone to kill me. I'm just shooting up this way.
Chris
Man, that screech and whistle noise, man, it's just piercing. I'll tell you what, we definitely got them po'd. We gotta get out of here, guys.
Brian Green
It's a train whistle that the kids get for Halloween at the shitty houses. You know what I'm saying? Here's a whistle. Be a good boy for Santa Claus.
Chris
Team into side by side and scoot our asses off this burial ground before all the hits the fan. Them damn things could be yours yet. Good job, brother. I don't know how many midnight whistlers are coming down that hill, but they're mad and we don't want to shoot them. They're a long ways away from the trap. The best thing to do is just get out of dodge.
Joy
Why don't they want to shoot them?
Brian Green
Yeah, why don't they want to shoot them? And then follow up to this. Did anybody send like, archaeologists or something to the grave sites to follow up on this? No, of course not.
Joy
No, no, no, no.
Brian Green
Because that would make too much fucking sense.
Chris
Wow. I didn't know if we was gonna make it out.
Brian Green
I didn't know if we were gonna make it out of there. But we did have time to scoot our fat asses down to the four bys and get down the hill.
Chris
I had two on my left. I had four on the third. There was at least four. Thermal. I seen them on the thermal with Jeff. By God, they were watching. I'll guarantee you the man, he touched that. Oh, it was on there.
Brian Green
Oh, it was on. Let's stand around here and talk about it again. That's what we always do. We can't actually see it on the camera like the video camera that we happen to have recording this for television, but we'll stand around and talk about it afterwards.
Joy
Roll it over.
Chris
As soon as I was about to Dig into that grave. The most ear piercing whistle let off I've ever heard. They had a surrounding and their whistles were so loud it hurt my ears. I bet when they started whistling.
Brian Green
Last time I heard a scream like that, I was trying to bid my wife for our 10th anniversary when they.
Chris
All was coming in. I guarantee it. Reinforcements. We came here after the midnight question.
Joy
That guy might be my favorite.
Brian Green
Oh, yeah, he's. Oh, Bill's my favorite for sure.
Joy
For sure.
Brian Green
He just screams. Yeah, there's. There's no comment. There's no sense to what he's saying.
Chris
That bigfoot in the appalachia isn't folklore. He's fact. We found his nest, we saw a trail camera pick and we heard that legendary whistle. I believe that we've made an incredible.
Brian Green
Discovery, but we will not be following up on it next week. We'll be follow. We'll be chasing the whisper wolves.
Chris
I don't know if it's a burial ground. I do know those midnight whispers ran us out of there. People and creatures protect things that are very important to them. There was something there that they did not want us to find. I don't know why y'all was in such a hurry for me to dig in that big pile of dirt.
Brian Green
Ba bing ding bong. Ba ding bing bing bing. It's time for laughs with Huck and Chuck.
Chris
Wanna do it?
Brian Green
We twist your arms.
Chris
Yeah. Boy, you look like a cat in a litter box.
Brian Green
All right, guys, we've been funny. Now it's time to move on to the next one. Yes. Even though we found clear evidence of bigfoot in his burial sites and his nest and the whistlers and we have them all on camera. Let's go home. I mean, honestly, if there is. If you need any more proof that this isn't real, then just imagine this. All the things that have happened over all of these seasons that they've caught on camera and been a part of and found, and the whisper wolves and the thunder brother knife or whatever, they never once presented these things to any kind of authority. They just move on to the next episode like you do when you find the discovery of humanity. It'd be like if an alien came to you. It'd be like if alf was living in your house and you didn't call somebody about it. All right, anyway, let's take a break and we'll be back with more shenanigans.
Joy
The boys from elves going up to number two.
Brian Green
Oh, yeah. We're almost there. We're almost at number one.
Rachel
Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at chrissy@tcbpodcast.com Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the Commercial Break.
Brian Green
This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. As a lifelong entrepreneur and a current small business owner of a mediocre comedy podcast, I do earnestly get excited when I get to share a tool or a resource that I use to better my business. And along with being a longtime entrepreneur, I am a longtime customer of Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whether you're scaling a larger business or you're just starting out. We are currently helping one of our family members build a website on Squarespace, and like everybody else in the world, they want to use video to highlight their products and services. Squarespace makes that easy by allowing you to upload and organize your videos, create stunning libraries, and even monetize that content by adding a paywall. And now Squarespace even offers business loans you can get fast easy finance through Squarespace Capital, and if you're approved, it'll be in your bank account in three to four business days so that you can grow quickly. Of course, all loans are subject to credit approval, but just the knowledge that Squarespace is now trying to help business owners and entrepreneurs in many facets of their business journey puts another check mark on my personal endorsement. So go ahead, check. Check all this out for yourself@squarespace.com commercial and you'll get a free trial. And then when you're ready to launch, you can use the offer code commercial and you'll save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com commercial. Then use that offer code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And thank you to Squarespace for continuing to support entrepreneurs like myself and the commercial break. I'm Joyn Robinson, host of the new podcast the Women's Hoop Show. We're here for you every step of the way through the mayhem of March Madness. Each episode I'll be joined by a rotating group of women's basketball experts to talk you through how your bracket's looking and which rising women's hoop stars to look out for in every game. Listen to and follow the Women's Hoop show and Odyssey podcasts. Available now. Wherever you get your podcast, this episode is sponsored in part by Chime Credit. Unless you've been hibernating for the last two or three years, then you are well aware that the price of everything has skyrocketed. And when the cost of living is so high, the last thing any of us need is more credit card debt. And when your credit is less than perfect, you're going to pay more for everything. But there is a better way. You can build credit with money you set aside and avoid interest and expensive debt using Chimes Credit Builder Card It's a secured card. It's got no credit check or minimum deposit required. Take it from a guy who's been there. When you have better credit, it's easier to plan and pay for family vacations and unexpected expenses. You get lower rates on loans for things like cars and homes. A good credit score makes a difference. The Chime Credit Builder Visa credit card has no annual fees, interest or credit check. And we all know what it's like to stretch a PayCheck. But with Chime's Credit Builder card, you can get paid up to two days early when you use direct deposit. Plus you'll get access to 50,000 fee free ATMs. Turn your everyday purchases and one time payments into steps toward your financial goals with Chime's secured credit builder Visa Credit Card. Get started today@chime.com commercial that's chime.com commercial Chime feels like Progress the Chime Credit Builder Visa credit card is issued by the Bancorp NA or Stride Bank NA Spot ME Eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Chime Checking Account required to apply out of network ATM withdrawal and OTC advance fees may Apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file. Late payments may negatively impact your credit score. Results may vary. Go to chime.com disclosures for details. And we want to thank Chime credit for being a sponsor of the commercial break. We're on to number two. Here we go. The excitement is building.
Chris
We've got a bigfoot that's attacking these poachers. On the other hand, you got us out here tonight with lights, lights, guns, and this phantom of the forest. He can't distinguish the difference. The phantom of the forest has been attacking poachers out here. That has lights and guns. We have lights and guns.
Brian Green
It's perfectly safe, though. We're the good guys.
Chris
We run into either one of these, the bigfoot or the poachers. There's.
Brian Green
We've got a thunder penis. I mean, a thunder axe.
Chris
Gonna be a fight here tonight. We're working through this corn. It's hard to see anything in here. Oh, the cornfield.
Brian Green
Ah, the cornfield. This is of my favorite old cornfield. Yeah. Where they're running indiscriminately through the cornfield, shooting at each other.
Chris
Guy vanished. It's difficult to find any sign in the field, Especially in this corn field. Oh, what was that? What was that? Did you hear that? I heard it. I heard it. Sounds like something big took up through the woods.
Brian Green
No, it's just me. I'm getting some corn to make my kids popcorn. It's so good. I love it.
Chris
Let's go up there. I don't think that was that person we seen out.
Brian Green
They are. He is so big and not. You know, everyone has different body shapes, but this is a big body shape. Like, it's clear. Maybe ozempic. I don't know.
Joy
Something. Yeah, I don't think he should be wearing those pants.
Brian Green
No. Yeah. He doesn't need to wear a shirt tucked in.
Joy
Yeah.
Brian Green
You know what I'm saying? Like, when you're that big, give yourself a chance to look normal.
Chris
Here, go in the corn. Whatever it was up there in the woods was way too heavy. Look at this trail up through here. Hot.
Brian Green
Speaking of way too heavy. What?
Chris
Here, look here. Yeah, it's probably what we heard breaking. Yeah. Or something stepped on it. That's fresh.
Brian Green
That's fresh. How do you know that? How do you know that a tree? That a broken dead branch on the ground. Broken is fresh. I mean, I'm sure that there are people that can tell you that, but I'm sure it's not Huck.
Joy
I don't think so any more.
Chris
Sawing buck. Oh, oh. What do we got here? Look here. Look here. Look. What's this? This?
Brian Green
It's penis eyes. That's the Circle K down the road.
Chris
Oh, boy. We got company, boys.
Brian Green
Oh, boy.
Chris
Army. How many of them is it? There's two side. Besides coming in, there's four.
Brian Green
Oh, they're coming in.
Chris
There's another vehicle, boys. This ain't good. No, it's not.
Brian Green
There's the poachers. Those are the poachers. And they're ready to kill anybody who gets in between them in whatever it is you poach in Kentucky. What exactly is that? Are there elephants for their ivory rhinoceroses? I'm not sure what you poach in Kentucky.
Chris
Well, they know we're here. Soon as those vehicles stopped, people start getting out. There's a whole pile of them.
Brian Green
Hey, hey, hey. I'll shoot. I'll shoot, too. We'll be dead.
Joy
That's the call.
Brian Green
Well, I don't like the math on that one. All right, we're gonna go. Talk to you later.
Chris
Bring your buddies. Buck, I got weapons up. Well, I got something for you. What's that? Oh, damn.
Brian Green
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.
Joy
I got something for you.
Brian Green
What's that? I got something for you. I'm gonna indiscriminately shoot at you. I want to go to jail for murder.
Chris
I don't know if they're trying to kill us. I don't know if they're trying to scare us. Any way you look at this, it's not good. We need to come up with a plan fast. Willie. Bill, we're getting shot at.
Brian Green
Willie. I'm on the ground. I don't think I'm going to be able to get back up. I know. Who lays down on their back. Yeah. That's not the ready position. You got to lay down on your front so you could crawl around. Right now, the only thing you could do is roll off the hill. Just to let you know, there's, like, lights off in the distance. They're yelling at each other. And then one of them fake shoots, right? And then so all of these guys slowly but surely sit down in their butts and then lay on their backs like they're going to do star. Like they're going to stargaze. You don't lay on your back. You lay on your front. Now you can't even see.
Chris
I know.
Brian Green
He's just looking straight up is so stupid.
Chris
I copy that. What you want to.
Brian Green
I copy that. 104. We're certainly going to get murdered. Do you want me to shoot back or. Or what?
Joy
This guy, he's looking.
Brian Green
He's looking. He's looking after his gun. This is so stupid.
Chris
Cornfield, turn your lights off. Lay down and get hidden now. All right, I copy that.
Brian Green
That you say lay down and get hip.
Joy
Get hidden.
Brian Green
Get hip. Oh, I thought he said get hip. I'm like, cool. That was cool. Lay down and get hip. All the kids are doing it. Lay down.
Chris
Hey, we gotta find a safe.
Brian Green
Everybody's doing a brand new dance now. Hey, now. Lay down in the forest.
Chris
We gotta find a place to hide, man.
Brian Green
Now.
Chris
They're moving. Now they're moving. Are they coming our way?
Brian Green
I don't know. I can't tell. I'm staring at the stars like he just sat up. He just said. I'm surprised he could see it up, honestly.
Chris
They're moving to our right. I got him. Buck ain't interested in us. They're going off. They're going over in the woods.
Joy
They're going to poach.
Brian Green
Sorry, wrong mountain. Monsters. Don't mind all the shooting.
Chris
Got him on the thermal. I ain't saying nothing, Buck. I got nothing on the thermal. These poachers, they headed off towards your woods. We know where they're going. They're going after this Bigfoot and they're gonna kill it. That little cheesy bastard.
Brian Green
And that's exactly what we're going to do. Finders keepers.
Chris
Still can't come up and face you man to man. There's a light back there. There's a light back there. There's a light.
Brian Green
Quick, quick. What do we do?
Joy
Lay on your back.
Brian Green
Lay on your back. Stare at the stars. Play dead. He can't hear us. I don't know. We have guns in our hands. What should we do? Lights out. Lights out.
Chris
Lights out. Lights out.
Brian Green
Lights out. Lights out. Lights out. Except for you, cameraman. We got to get this on film.
Chris
All right, we got our lights out. They're starting to close in on us now. All right, we'll go radio silence.
Brian Green
All right, we'll go radio silence.
Chris
Good luck.
Brian Green
See you later. You good? They've got guns and they're coming up on us. I think we're trapped. All right, I'll turn off the radio so I can't hear you getting killed. Okay, bye. I'm sorry about all the drama, but I can't listen to you get murdered. I'll be at Krispy Kreme. I'll talk to you later. Okay? We'll go radio. Okay? No, nothing we can Do. Sorry. Should I call the cops? I'm gonna go radio silent.
Joy
Let me.
Brian Green
Let me turn off my radio. Let me turn off my radio communication. Yeah, so I can't hear you die. I can't live with that kind of guilt. Not me. I gotta go.
Chris
Moving near one. Guys, we gotta go. Let's go.
Brian Green
Guys, we gotta go. I don't know where we're gonna go, but we gotta go. Guys, we gotta go. It's twofers at Burger King. Two first of chilies. It's Margarita hour. And Chili's. They gotta go, guys. Chips and sauce, all you can eat.
Chris
Willie just radioed over. He said them poachers are coming right up by him. We gotta get over there and give him some backup. We can get up there and get behind.
Brian Green
Well, they're certainly moving with a sense of urgency.
Joy
They're plotting along.
Chris
God, we'll have to drop one. We don't want him to get.
Brian Green
Did he say we have to drop one? Guys, I gotta drop one. I'll be. Or two.
Joy
I'll catch up.
Brian Green
I'll catch up with you guys. Meanwhile, maintain radio silence.
Chris
Willie and Bill. Oh, what was that? What was that? Whoa, whoa. Do you hear that? Yeah, right there.
Brian Green
Right there.
Chris
I bet that's that first guy we seen. Hey.
Brian Green
Hey, you. Get over here with your gun. Get over here with your gun. After shooting at me, I want to talk to you, Manda man. Tell me about why you're trying to kill me.
Chris
Hey, where'd you go?
Brian Green
You in here?
Chris
Oh, I got moving. I got moving.
Brian Green
I got moving.
Chris
I got moving.
Brian Green
Up ahead.
Chris
Up ahead. Right in here. Right in here.
Joy
God.
Brian Green
Jeez. They're shooting at each other.
Joy
Get out in the cornfield, Buck.
Chris
I'm all right. I'm all right. What happened, Buck? Something grabbed me. You okay? Game up, Jeff? No.
Brian Green
I'm cold. Don't mind all the blood pouring out of my shirt. He looks like he's got blood on his shirt. I know that.
Chris
Bigfoot.
Brian Green
Oh, no. It's just a logo in here.
Chris
Did he hit you? He grabbed me. Luck was luck.
Brian Green
He grabbed me here in hell.
Chris
Jeff and me was ahead of him. That Bigfoot come around, hit him from behind. He let out a scream and shot at this thing. I want out of the corn. See the field?
Brian Green
I want out of the corn. I don't like it anymore in here. I'm very scared of the corn now. I don't like it. I want out of the corn.
Chris
Slow down, Buck. Slow down. We need Willie and Bill. We need to get everybody together. This Is safe. I lost my radio.
Joy
They're using it anyway.
Chris
We don't have.
Brian Green
Yeah, it was radio silence. Who cares radio anymore?
Chris
We can't just go yelling and screaming for Willie and Bill with our headlights on. We're gonna attract it.
Brian Green
Yeah. What's different this time? Why can't you go yelling and screaming? That's what you guys do.
Chris
Potential in poachers. And we'll definitely attract the attention of that bigfoot. The only thing we can think to do is to start heading towards a trap. Wait a minute. What's that?
Brian Green
Okay, so wait, let me get this straight. We're ignoring the fact that you just got grabbed by a bigfoot and shot at it?
Joy
Yeah, it was a close call.
Brian Green
Yeah, it's a close call. But let's move on. I don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about it. It's rather embarrassing for me. So we just move on. I appreciate it.
Chris
What the hell's he doing?
Brian Green
Okay, so. This is ridiculous. This is ridiculous. It appears they have put a bigfoot trap that looks like an igloo made out of wood. I'm not sure. It looks like a pyramid. Yeah, like a pyramid or something made out of wood. And it's. It's like tipping itself over. Which I imagine they're now going to tell us was bigfoot tipping it over. But I don't see anything anywhere. It's like a. Someone's pulling it down. Oh, you can even. You can actually see the string wrapped around it. That's crazy. Bad editing.
Chris
We're standing there. All of a sudden, our trap comes down, crashes, Starts dragging off, taking trees with it. These idiots tore up our trap.
Brian Green
Okay, why are you not. You're three feet from it. Why are you not going to see what is going on? Is someone gonna go investigate?
Joy
No.
Brian Green
Let's go.
Chris
That's how you wanna go get him. Let's go. Will it. What the hell? No, this ain't happening. I don't know.
Joy
Are they forgotten poachers or for bigfoot?
Brian Green
I have no idea. I think they're purposefully confusing us Because I thought that was bigfoot. But they're saying it's the poachers that are doing this. But they are literally standing a foot and a half from it. Why not like, I don't know, shoot somebody or something.
Chris
But I gotta see who the hell's.
Brian Green
I mean, I don't condone just shooting people, But I also don't condone, like, incongruent television. It's gotta make some Kind of sense.
Chris
I'm going over there right now.
Brian Green
I'm going over there right now. And you better have your room cleaner. There's no dinner for you, young man.
Unknown
Hello.
Chris
Down that truck, brother. Watch the pastor's side. Watch that. What's that? Many people's in there. What are you doing? You with one of them poachers? You with us?
Brian Green
You was one of them Boers. That's right. That it's me, and I'm a poacher.
Joy
They've come up on another guy and they've blurred out his face.
Brian Green
That's right, Chrissy.
Joy
He didn't agree to be on camera.
Brian Green
I am from the west Kentucky poacher clan. Idiots.
Chris
What are you talking about? What the hell you doing? To tire the hell out of it. This guy paid me a thousand dollars to take down this trap.
Brian Green
Say I had to have it out here.
Chris
Okay, so you. All you know is this guy paid you a lot of money to come out here and tear this thing down. Exactly what I'm doing. Well, first start going talking with this.
Brian Green
Well, all's forgiven. All's well that ends well. Talk to you later.
Joy
Maybe it was the guy who owned the cornfield.
Brian Green
Yeah, maybe somebody's not so happy that you're running around their cornfield building traps and shooting indiscriminately.
Chris
This guy, I wasn't sure if he's full of crap or if he was telling us the truth, but the more we talk to him, I think he's.
Brian Green
More we talked to him, the more I liked him and I gave him a job at craft services.
Chris
The up and up. It's cool. I'm Buck.
Brian Green
Hey, it's cool. Don't worry about it.
Joy
I'm Buck.
Brian Green
So don't worry about all that shooting at me. I'm all good. It's all good, brother. Split the money. Yeah, split the thousand dollars. What do you say?
Chris
It's nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Larry. The guy that you dealt with is part of a poaching ring.
Brian Green
Poaching ring? The west Kentucky poaching ring. What are they poaching? I still want to know. I mean, I understand there is, like, you know, you took too many deer this season. You're killing the babies or whatever. There is poaching everywhere there's poaching. But you usually don't think of west Kentucky and poaching. Usually think of, like, South Africa or a ring. Yeah, yeah. Or a poaching ring. Like, how much money can you make poaching, Bigfoot? I don't know. Sorry.
Chris
I didn't mean to get involved in this, man. I try to keep it low key. No, I understand, dude.
Brian Green
No, it's all good. Good. We're just out here killing, murdering monsters and getting shot at and I understand. I just got attacked by a bigfoot not but yonder, and look at me. Everything's all good. Don't worry about it. Yeah, you want to go have a bear?
Chris
You. This is. This has nothing to do with you. This is. This isn't on you. No hard feelings, man.
Brian Green
No hard feelings. Clearly you aren't lying. We don't even want to investigate. Just take our trap and, yeah, go ahead, yank it down. No problem. Spent all day making that. Thanks, thanks. Appreciate it.
Chris
Get the hell out of here. It is what it is, dude. Yep, it is. Because I'm not real happy with Larry after he tore down our trap. But I can't be too mad at him. Cause he didn't know he's doing anything wrong. Look at that. Don't do no damn good with the traps and thousand pieces. Hey, Wiz. Look at that.
Brian Green
So much for this gee willikers. It's gee willikers.
Joy
That's so funny.
Brian Green
It is, huh? Damn the weird twists and turns that these storylines take. I mean, my question is, do they, like, get together beforehand? I mean, there must be some. Yeah, they have like a content discussion. Like, okay, we're going to go chasing the, you know, thunderclappers and the cheek clappers. West Kentucky cheek clappers. We're going to go chase them, and then we're going to run into a organized crime poaching ring. And then one of the poachers is going to pay a guy to tear down our trap. And then I'm going to get to tear. I mean, these are wild stories that don't seem to have any kind of rhyme or reason to them, really.
Joy
Yeah. No, I agree.
Brian Green
It's hilarious is what it is. That's what it is.
Joy
It's entertainment.
Brian Green
Yes, it is.
Chris
It looks like a frigging tornado hit it. This is sickening right here, guys. These poachers ain't playing games. No, they're not. They shot at us. They destroyed our trap. This Bigfoot attacked me early on in this investigation.
Brian Green
They slept with our wives.
Joy
Bigfoot attacked me.
Brian Green
Yeah, a bigfoot attack asterisks. Bigfoot attack me. But let's. Let's not get into weeds about all this.
Chris
We got into it with a bunch of poachers that we probably shouldn't have been messing with. Not that they're tougher than us, but they're a lot dirtier. Willie. Bill. We was looking for you guys for a while. I was hoping.
Brian Green
Yeah, what happened to you guys being chased by a single individual with a gun all of a sudden, you just popped out of nowhere. Hey, it's all good. Don't worry about it. All's well, then. I'm looking for you. Yeah, for you.
Chris
Hey, boys.
Brian Green
Hey, boys. It's the West Kentucky poaching ring. Hey, boys, it's me, west, the leader of the west Kentucky poachers. And I just wanted to let you know we've got your number and some nude photographs we're going to disseminate on Bigfoot.com if you don't leave this here cornfield and let us poach some more bigfoots.
Chris
Listen. Yeah, go ahead. I enjoyed ripping your trap down, boys.
Brian Green
And I'm gonna enjoy taking your pants down. You better take your new fangled camera crew out of there. Do you remember cowboy Ken? No. That's because we have him. We buried him last episode in the makeshift grave site you found. Don't. With the Kentucky poachers.
Chris
The guy in a truck. Yeah, whatever. Are you serious? It's Larry. The one that tore down our trap. The one that suckered me into believing he was just hired to do a job. See?
Brian Green
That's right. I fooled you simply by saying my name is Larry. Diabolical.
Joy
It's like an episode of scooby Doo.
Brian Green
This is like the minions movie. It's like. That's right. It's Larry. And I am pissed off that I got not Tom fooled into believing that he was a good guy simply because he said, hey, I'm Larry. Sorry.
Chris
You gonna tell me that dude in that truck, he pulled the wall clear over us. He tore down our trap and then made sure we knew he had the last laugh.
Joy
Hey, boy.
Brian Green
Yeah. Hey, Larry. Hey, boys. It's me, Larry. I was the one who stole your radio. I was the one who pulled down the trap. I was the one who paid myself a thousand dollars to tear down your trap. Riddle me that, Batman. Bam. Pow.
Joy
Clap myself. Who is the one?
Brian Green
We're dealing with an evil genius here. He even fooled himself into believing he paid himself a thousand dollars. That's how good he is.
Chris
The only thing I can tell you is you stick out in that truck and it's a small town.
Brian Green
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get him, Buck. That's a good one, Buck.
Joy
Get him around town.
Brian Green
Yeah, I'm gonna get him around town. I'm gonna order extra Hash browns on your Waffle House ticket.
Chris
Those poachers, they pulled the wool over ice tonight. They horn snoggled us, bamboozled us. And I tell you what, the way I feel about this Bigfoot at this point, I'll stay out of his woods. I'll let him take care of these poachers himself. He takes them out.
Joy
Oh, that was a good one.
Brian Green
That was a good one. I like that one. I like when they get Larry. Yeah. Like when there's other human interaction. Like there's. There's some kind of a MacGuffin to worry about because, you know, we can't see anything that they're chasing. But when you can see another human being. And Larry. Larry was a sneaky one, I do have to say Larry was a sneaky one. All right, let's. Let's take a break, and we'll be back with number one. Number one most scary hunt in big in mountain monsters history. We'll be back.
Rachel
Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at christmas@tcbpodcast.com Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.
Unknown
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Brian Green
I don't know that I'm mentally prepared for the number one.
Joy
I don't know if anybody is.
Brian Green
I don't know. But I can only hope it's half as good as the last one. All right, let's get right into it so we have enough time to get to get it all in. Here we go. The number one best or scariest or whatever the clickbait title is Chase in Mountain Monsters history. Here we go.
Chris
We're back in Central Kentucky and we're going after the Squalling Savage.
Brian Green
The Squalin Savage looks a lot like the Thunder Brothers. Looks a lot like the Lightning Man. Looks a lot like the Whistler. It looks a lot like everything. Just a different color of fur. Yeah. Zoom in to this three year old's drawing.
Chris
Savage is a huge Bigfoot Eight and a half foot tall, between six and eight hundred pounds.
Brian Green
They're small. Yeah, well, listen, you know, they come in all shapes and sizes. Chris. He takes all kinds wingspan and dwells in trees.
Joy
Dwells in trees.
Chris
Nothing. I don't understand that. I really thought back at the barrel ground whenever I went down there that things would kick off. I had no idea I'd have to come back in here this far. And nothing. I don't understand.
Brian Green
Whoa O. I really thought back there, the party in the woods, we were going to get things to kick off. I didn't realize I have to go this deep in the woods to find me a hippie chick.
Chris
A tree at us.
Brian Green
He threw a tree at us.
Chris
We got to get out of here. Hang on, hang on. It's stuck on the side to side. Go over top of it.
Brian Green
We'll go directly toward the danger. What you got to understand is they're on a side by side. Or a 4x4. A golf cart. The fancy golf cart. And he's talking on the camera and then all of a sudden there's a loud noise. But we never saw the front of the. The what was out the windshield in the first place. So that tree could have been there the entire. Probably was there the entire time. They just pretended a loud noise. Yeah. And now rather since the tree was thrown at them from the forward direction, rather than go backwards back to safety, they're going to go forward toward whatever just threw something at them. Makes sense. And if a 4x4 can. If a golf cart can go over it. Is it really that dangerous in the first place? Probably not.
Chris
We gotta go. Huckleberry. Huckleberry. Go ahead, Buck.
Brian Green
Buck to Huck. Huck to Buck.
Chris
I'm past the graveyard, about 200 yards. Just threw a little top of side beside and hit me.
Brian Green
Bill, you're up next.
Chris
Start blowing your whistle. Jeff.
Brian Green
Bill, you're up next. Start blowing your whistle and attract him directly to you so I can get away. You're all right.
Chris
Keep your eyes open. I'm coming as quick as I can, man. I'll be up there as quick as I can. Copy that, Buck.
Brian Green
Copy, copy, copy, copy, copy, copy, copy, copy, copy, copy, copy. Huck. Buck. Buck to Buck. Huck to Buck. Chuck to Buck. Buck to Chuck.
Chris
Chuck to Buck.
Brian Green
Coffee. Copy.
Chris
Coffee.
Brian Green
Copy.
Chris
Coffee.
Brian Green
Coffee. Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill. Coming your way. Coming your way. Stay there. Start whistling. Go there, Chuck. Chuck to Chuck to Buck. Buck to Chuck. Radio silence. Maintain radio silence. It's also fast and furious. I don't know what we Do. What do we do?
Chris
Got my eyes for Bill. Buck just got this party started. Now it's the old marine's turn. I'm going to blow on this whistle.
Brian Green
Get him.
Chris
Coming right up the canyon.
Brian Green
There's my train whistle. That is a train whistle. It's a child's train whistle.
Chris
Bill. I'm still looking. I don't see anything yet. Give me another whistle.
Brian Green
Bill.
Chris
I got something. It's big. I got movement down over the hill. Talk to me, what direction?
Brian Green
It's 1990s. John Popper. Here he comes.
Joy
Talk to me, in which direction?
Brian Green
Here he comes.
Chris
Yeah, straight over the hill from me, Bill. All right, Bill. He's closing in. He's about 30, 40 yards. Jump in your hole now. Get in there, Curtis.
Brian Green
Get in there.
Chris
Get in there. Get in, Curtis.
Brian Green
Get the hole there, Curtis.
Chris
Get the hell.
Brian Green
Jump in the hole. Give me a hug. Stay warm with body heat. Take your clothes off. Roll on top of me. Grind a little bit to the left. Stick your finger in my butt. I like it. Oh, he left the cameraman outside.
Joy
Yeah, he did.
Brian Green
He went and you're not watching this, but he dug a hole and put a piece of like a wood door on top with a bunch of leaves and foliage. So when he covered it, it just looked like the ground. And he says, quick, get in here. But the cameraman didn't get in there and he just closed the door. So I guess now the cameraman's fucked. These guys aren't very considerate, are they?
Chris
I got something in the tree, right?
Brian Green
It's a bird. It's a yellow breasted cardinal. You know how rare those are?
Chris
I heard something over here. Now he's going. I'm going, huh, Huckleberry. I'm going to the safe hole there, Huckleberry.
Brian Green
I'm making a bunch of noise so he can follow me.
Chris
Go on it. Jeff had to go to plan B. He's got some. Not morning.
Brian Green
Jeff had to go to plan B. He forgot to pull out. I gotta go to the pharmacy real quick. Get. Get him some medicine.
Chris
Here's something coming. It's a little ways out, but it's coming this way.
Brian Green
Chuck the buck, buck to juck. Start shooting indiscriminately. Quick.
Chris
Too close. He's coming right in on us. We gotta get in that hole. We gotta get in the hole.
Joy
Too close. I mean, he's got a gun.
Brian Green
Yeah, he's got a. You have a gun? Number one. Number two, how did you make all these elaborate holes in the ground? When did you have Time to do that.
Chris
We got a Bigfoot about 50 yards out from my hole. I don't know what bigfoot it is, but he's damn close. Just hold tight, huck. I'm coming.
Brian Green
Hold tight, honey. I'm on my way. He said hun. Did he say hun or huck? Either way, it's funny.
Chris
That way. I'm coming that way.
Joy
I guess the cameraman there with him.
Brian Green
Yeah, I guess the cameraman's in there. Which means that hole is really big.
Joy
Yeah.
Brian Green
He's got a knife in his hands, by the way. He's now in the mud of three feet in the. In the mud. And he's got a trap door on top of him with leaves and foliage. And he's holding one of the biggest hunting knives I've ever seen in my entire life. I imagine what happens next as he starts stabbing upwards at whatever's coming quick. Do a whacking off like motion and kill whatever's on top of you.
Chris
Jeff, Wild bill and huckleberry's already in their blinds. Huckleberry has something right on top of him.
Joy
I gotta go get with him. Right in between his legs.
Brian Green
The camera now they're showing the three different holes or the three other. So we've got Huck running up the mountain with his four by. That's not going very fast because God love him, Huck is a big boy. And then you've got three separate individuals that are now in holes with trap doors on top of them. All have some kind of weapon in their hands. A knife, a shotgun. Which. How you're going to shoot that in that hole, I have no idea. But. And it looks like, I don't know, a pipe bomb. I'm not even sure what that is.
Chris
Guys, I gotta get over there now.
Brian Green
Oh, the top of the door is now shaking. Mud is falling into the pit. Huckleberry is just doing his best to keep his composure. Start stabbing upwards. That's what I do. He done lifted my door up.
Chris
Come on.
Brian Green
Is that running? That's a slow walk back.
Chris
I need backup. Hurry up.
Brian Green
Get down here.
Chris
Come on, boss. I'll go one more way. I'm coming as quick as I can, man. I'll be up there as quick as I can. We got bigfoot on our ass.
Brian Green
That's the slowest bigfoot I have ever seen. He's not even traveling at a mile per hour. That poor old man. He's trying his best to make it look scary, but it's not. If. If bigfoot is moving slower than that Then I am officially not afraid of Bigfoot.
Chris
Bill, I'm on my way to get you out of here. Huckleberry just got attacked.
Brian Green
I'm on my way to get you. Drop a pin and share your location. Do you have to find my app? It's real easy. Let me walk you through it. Make sure you update your iPhone 17.
Chris
Get up here in the side beside.
Brian Green
Connect to the local Internet.
Chris
Got me and Jeff row. We need to get up here and.
Brian Green
Give Huckleberry some search for. Fine, man.
Chris
Back up. Get in, get in. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Get in. Stay in on the buck, Jeff.
Brian Green
Staying on the buck.
Chris
Yeah, I'm on the way. Lie. I'm alive. We're coming to get you.
Brian Green
All right, all right. I got the cameraman in my dick. He's right in his dick.
Joy
I know.
Brian Green
Be careful. I'm liable to pee on you.
Chris
This whole team's in trouble. We need to get up for now. Come on, brother.
Joy
Come on.
Chris
Come on, Jeff. Get in, get in, get in, get.
Brian Green
In, get in, get in.
Chris
Let's go, let's go, let's go. Get out of here.
Brian Green
Get out of here. Jeff.
Chris
What happened? Was she whistling or something? Oh, no. How many of them was there? I'd say it was two at least. You gotta get down off here.
Brian Green
Two, maybe 30. I'm not sure because they are not real.
Chris
We gotta go right now. I watch your back. Go. Huckleberry just hollered. I need to get off the top of this trap and go give him some backup. He's more important than this Hun. Go.
Brian Green
Camera.
Chris
Holy.
Brian Green
Did you hear that?
Chris
He squalled right there. Go, go, go, go, go. You gotta go, bro.
Joy
The squall monster.
Brian Green
The squall monster. Go, go, go. You gotta go. I know. For eight seasons we've been trying to get images of an actual monster, but you should go now because there is no monster to get images of. Oh, he's ziplining. Whoa. Well, that was an interesting way of getting down from.
Chris
Come on, we gotta go.
Joy
There was a ladder too.
Brian Green
Yeah. By the way, the cameraman went down the ladder. He got a harness on and decided to zipline down.
Joy
Like, zip.
Brian Green
Yes. It took him much longer to zipline than it took the guy to climb down this way. Follow me, follow me.
Chris
There he is.
Brian Green
There he is.
Chris
There he is. What's going on?
Brian Green
What's going on? Oh, nothing. Just attacked by a ten foot, 385 pound Bigfoot. And my knees bad. I got a bad back and I forgot my Medicine and my angina is acting up. But besides that, everything's fine.
Chris
Got attacked. Keep an eye out. He's still here somewhere. We just pulled up to Huckleberry. His eyes the size of a coffee cup. He's scared stiff. He's shaking in his boots. The damn thing wrenched down and picked the damn lid up and pulled it up.
Brian Green
No way.
Chris
But it was right there. And all I could think of was let out a war hoop. I don't know if it startled him.
Brian Green
A war hoop. War.
Chris
Ha.
Brian Green
Good God, y'all. Well, fighting for absolutely nothing. That's the only war hoop I could think of.
Chris
Fumbled it or whatever, but it backed off a little bit. And that's when I put my ass in the wind and got the hell out of there. You did the right thing, that's for sure. I don't know what went wrong.
Brian Green
That's when I gave him the five o'clock Savage. I bent over and blasted him with a mighty wind. He ran down the hill.
Joy
I bit my butt to the hill.
Brian Green
Yes, I knew that Red Bull and tacos would come in handy.
Chris
Come on, guys, come get me.
Brian Green
I mean, how many people can fit in that golf cart? Yeah, that's a lot of people fitting in a golf cart.
Joy
There's four and the cameraman.
Brian Green
Yeah, four and the cameraman. Oh, wow. Wild Bill McKi there just radioed over.
Chris
We got to get over and get him some backup right now. We got to go.
Brian Green
Wait, what are you guys running from? Because you were running to save the other guy, and now you're running to get away from something.
Joy
Something's. Something's happening.
Brian Green
Yeah, this is the way this show works. It's just a lot of running and shaky camera. Okay, here comes the comedy. Ready? There's going to be a comedy routine right before we get done here.
Chris
Heard the whistle, about to send the cameraman down, and I started to come down the ladder, and I could hear the brush cracking. He squalled on me. He squalled. He squalled. When Huckleberry yelled for help, Willie decided it's time to bail on the trap. He sent the cameraman down first, and when he was getting ready to come down, he heard a squall right by the trap. So he had to get down there with the cameraman because he was on the ground with the squalling savage.
Brian Green
I thought squalling savage. Ya da da da Ya da da da de da da. Dude, let's tell some jokes, me and you, and wrap this episode up.
Chris
Everything was coming together perfect. Then you don't even whistle and it shows. Something shows up with you and you don't whistle and something's on you. When I moved, I don't understand that. It didn't make a sound, only what I could hear walking. But when that thing yanked that lid up, I did get a quick view of it. And it wasn't black and it wasn't reddish brown. It was a light collar. I can tell you that. It was a light collar. We know that's not the squalling savage and we know that's not the Midnight Whistler. We know they protect their ground. They're very territorial. I mean when I let out that yell, it backed away way it seems to me.
Brian Green
Yeah.
Chris
With what you're saying Huck. Cuz there's a, a complete different Bigfoot in here.
Brian Green
Oh, there you go. There it is. We ended. We got it. We got all five.
Joy
That was good.
Brian Green
All right. I like that. I like the compilation videos. Cuz we get a lot of mountain monsters in a short amount of time. All right, well you know, stay safe out there. It's dangerous out in the middle of the woods, so don't go there. Yeah, that's all I gotta say. And be prepared. I say next time you're camping, dig three or four five to seven foot deep holes and get some old doors and put some foliage on them in case you run into a squaller or a whistler or a diddler or whatever it is out there. You want to make sure you've got the proper resources to take care of yourself. Thank God we have the mountain monsters to show us the way.
Joy
I mean they're a cost.
Brian Green
Buck to hug. Hug the Buck Shack.
Chris
Buck. Billy. Billy.
Brian Green
Billy. Billy. Billy. Copy, copy, copy, copy, copy, copy. Oh, so much fun. So much fun. All right. You know, we'll get back to it someday. We'll get back to the mountain monster someday. But I, I, I felt like it had been too long and I saw a video came up on my YouTube and I was like, oh yeah, we gotta do the mountain monsters. Plus a lot of our comments on the various platforms say that their favorites are the mountain monsters. So there you go. From me to you, a gift. Holla, holla back at you boy. All right. TCBpodcast.com that's where you go. You find all the information about Chrissy and I, all the audio, all the video right there from one location. TCB podcast.com. if you want a free sticker, go to the website, hit the contact us button. Drop down menu says I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address away it will go. No muss, no fuss. Also, we'd love it if you would contact us on our telephone line. TCB hotline if you will. Chrissy 2124333 tcb 212-12-433-3322 Holla at your boy. 2124-338221-24333 tcb Questions? Comments? Concerns? Content? Ideas, Mountain monsters ideas. Whatever you got, send it there or a voicemail if you'd like that. Add the commercial break on Instagram and YouTube.com thecommercial break for all the episodes on video the same day they air here on audio. Okay Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.
Joy
I think so.
Brian Green
But I'll tell you that I love you. I'll say best to you and best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say goodbye.
Unknown
Hey, I'm Andy. If you don't know me, it's probably because I'm not famous. But I did start a men's grooming company called Harry's. The idea for Harry's came out of a frustrating experience I had buying razor blades. Most brands were overpriced, over, designed and out of touch. At Harry's, our approach is simple. Here's our secret. We make sharp, durable blades and sell them at honest prices for as low as $2 each. We care about quality so much that we do some crazy things like buy a world class German blade factory. Obsessing over every detail means we're confident in offering 100% quality guarantee. Millions of guys have already made the switch to Harry's, so thank you if you're one of them. And if you're not, we hope you give us a try with this special offer. Get a Harry starter set with a five blade razor, weighted handle, shave gel and a travel cover. All for just three bucks plus free shipping. Just go to Harry's.com and enter code man at checkout. That's Harry's.com codeman Enjoy.
Brian Green
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Joy
Where'd you get those shoes?
Brian Green
Easy.
Joy
They're from DSW. Because DSW has the exact right shoes for whatever you're into right now. You know, like the sneakers that make office hours feel like happy hour, the boots that turn grocery aisles into runways, and all the styles that show off the many sides of you, from daydreamer to multitasker and everything in between. Because you do it all it really great shoes. Find a shoe for every you at your DSW store or dsw.com.
Brian Green
I get asked.
Episode Title: Mountain Monsters & The Great Larry Con Job!
Release Date: March 26, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green and Krissy "Joy" Hoadley
Podcast: The Commercial Break
Description: An improv-comedy, interview, and variety podcast that blends twisted humor with discussions on pop culture, internet oddities, relationship drama, and dark comedy. Hosted by longtime friends Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley, often featuring celebrity guests and interactive segments.
The episode titled "Mountain Monsters & The Great Larry Con Job!" kicks off with the hosts Bryan and Joy diving straight into their main content after brief and humorous sponsor messages. The episode intertwines their typical chaotic and unpolished charm, setting the stage for an adventurous and comedic exploration of mythical creatures and deceptive encounters.
The hosts bypass lengthy introductions, immediately addressing their recent experience with a character named Larry who deceived Bryan into believing he was trustworthy. This sets a tone of betrayal and sets up the narrative for the episode.
Bryan and Joy transition to discussing Alec Baldwin's controversial new reality television show, reflecting on the tragic accident involving Baldwin. They delve into themes of responsibility, guilt, and public perception.
This segment showcases their ability to handle serious topics with empathy while maintaining their unique humor.
The core of the episode revolves around the hosts recounting and humorously critiquing episodes of Mountain Monsters, a fictional or real show centered on hunting mythical creatures like Bigfoot.
They dissect various episodes, highlighting the over-the-top nature of the hunts and the often flimsy evidence presented. Their commentary is laced with sarcasm and playful mockery, emphasizing the absurdity of the hunts.
The hosts weave an elaborate and humorous narrative about their encounter with Larry, a poacher who sabotaged their Bigfoot trap. This story is filled with comedic tension, slapstick moments, and exaggerated interactions.
As the story unfolds, Bryan and Joy playfully act out the confrontation with Larry, blending scripted elements with spontaneous humor. This segment showcases their improvisational skills and their chemistry as co-hosts.
The narrative reaches its peak with a simulated showdown between the hosts, poachers, and the mythical Bigfoot. The tension is maintained through exaggerated sound effects and humorous dialogue, culminating in a chaotic yet entertaining climax.
The resolution involves Bryan and Joy reflecting on the absurdity of their adventure, ultimately breaking character to inject genuine laughs and wrap up the fictional storyline.
Towards the end, the hosts engage with their audience through call-ins and humorous skits, maintaining the podcast's interactive and irreverent spirit.
They seamlessly transition from their main content to promoting their website and social media, encouraging listeners to engage further with the podcast.
These quotes encapsulate the episode's blend of humor, chaos, and genuine discussion, reflecting the hosts' dynamic and engaging style.
In this episode, Bryan and Joy masterfully balance comedic storytelling with satirical commentary on reality TV and mythical creature hunting shows. Their improvisational exchanges and playful banter offer listeners an entertaining escape, highlighting the unpolished charm that defines The Commercial Break. The episode underscores themes of trust, deception, and the absurdity of modern entertainment, all delivered with the hosts' signature twisted humor.
Listeners are left with a sense of camaraderie and amusement, characteristic of Bryan and Joy's long-standing friendship and their ability to turn even the most chaotic scenarios into compelling and laugh-out-loud moments.
"Mountain Monsters & The Great Larry Con Job!" exemplifies The Commercial Break's unique approach to podcasting—melding improvised comedy with insightful discussions and interactive storytelling. Bryan and Joy's chemistry ensures that each episode is a blend of laughter, relatability, and engaging content, making it a standout offering for fans of unfiltered and irreverent comedy podcasts.
For more episodes, visit TCBPodcast.com and follow The Commercial Break on Instagram and YouTube to stay updated with their latest adventures and comedic escapades.