Muds, Duds & Studs!

Summary

The Commercial Break

Episode: "Muds, Duds & Studs!"

Date: April 4, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break showcases the podcast’s signature blend of chaotic improv, pop culture commentary, and off-the-cuff comedy. Bryan and Krissy start with a satirical ad for a ludicrous music festival, touch on news of Val Kilmer’s passing with both nostalgia and dark humor, riff about the eccentricities and dangers of celebrity culture and internet catfishing, and finally delve into the wild world of 1990s dating television by watching and dissecting an episode of "Studs." All of this is filtered through their irreverent chemistry and willingness to poke fun at themselves and the absurdities of modern life.

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Segment Breakdown with Timestamps

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[00:00–04:24] Cold Open: Satirical Festival Ad—Fiery Fest 1.2

• Satirical voiceover advertises "Fiery Fest 1.2":
  • A parody of music festivals with outrageous sponsors (e.g., Billy McFarland, Tila Tequila, Doug from across the street).
  • Promises an over-the-top, disastrous influencer event for $37,995.
  • Fake legal disclaimers and ridiculous perks (complimentary tap water, above-ground pool, unnamed musical artists).
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “Fiery Fest 1.2, you won't want to miss it unless it doesn't happen.”

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[05:13–11:19] Val Kilmer Remembrance & Movie Nostalgia

• Bryan somberly announces Val Kilmer’s death (pneumonia, after having survived throat cancer).
• They discuss Kilmer’s notable roles:
  • Top Gun (“If you’re younger than 30, you probably don’t even know who Val Kilmer is…” – Bryan, 05:31)
  • Tombstone, Batman, True Romance, and especially The Doors.
• Bryan’s personal connection:
  • “I actually have a hard time distinguishing between the real Jim Morrison and Val Kilmer’s version because he embodied Jim Morrison so incredibly accurately…” (Bryan, 06:49)
  • Saw The Doors in theater as a preteen, describes it as life-changing.
  • Humorous tangent about performing a bad Morrison impression drunk at a college bar.
• Discussion of Kilmer’s legacy, Juilliard background, and challenges in his later life.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “All you need is a social media account and either a really rock hard body or the ability to say and do dumb, stupid shit like we do here at the commercial break.” (Bryan, 09:22)
  • “RIP Val Kilmer. I’ll pour one out for you. You will always be one of my favorites…” (Bryan, 11:19)

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[12:16–14:37] The Strange Comfort of Dark, Irreverent Humor

• Bryan reflects on the "tragically hilarious" state of the world:
  • Curates his social feeds for absurd news, treating the world as “for my entertainment.”
  • References George Carlin’s philosophy: “The world is for my entertainment, and I’m just choosing to laugh at it, observe it, and laugh at it.” (Bryan, 13:01)
• Segue to lighter topics: Krissy preps a positive news story.

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[14:37–25:28] Internet Oddities, Catfishing, and Celebrity Disconnects

Morgan Wallen on SNL

• Riff on country singer Morgan Wallen’s controversial SNL appearance and past scandals.
  • Critique for “walking off” without the SNL goodbye, perceived rudeness, and privilege.
  • Dissection of toxic celebrity apologies.
  • “If it’s good enough that you can get yourself in front of 15, 16, 25 million people, then it’s good enough to sit in with the 15 other artists and creators…” (Bryan, 17:18)
• Memorable Quote:
  • “Fuckin’ Morgan Whalen. There’s a girl on my Instagram…” (Bryan, 18:14)

Catfishing Story

• Bryan tells the story of a woman obsessively vlogging about being catfished by a fake “Morgan Wallen assistant.”
  • Lost thousands in scam, appeared on an online “Catfish” show, remains convinced she’s owed a meeting with the real Morgan Wallen.
  • Hosts reflect on the dangers of parasocial relationships and “screen as boyfriend.”
  • Bryan jokes about Dua Lipa catfishing him for money.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “It must be really difficult to be a single person in 2025.” (Bryan, 25:28)

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[25:28–30:00] Positive News & Paris Hilton's Charity

• Krissy shares from the “Nice News Daily” newsletter:
  • Paris Hilton donates grants to women-owned businesses after the Eaton Fire.
  • Bryan’s secret affection for Paris Hilton’s public persona, references her reinvention.
  • “I like Paris. I’ve always liked someone who’s in on the joke.” (Bryan, 28:32)
• Reflection on celebrity transformations and manufactured “dumbness” as self-awareness.

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[31:10–32:41] Pivot to 90s Dating TV: Studs

• Originally intended to review "Blind Date UK" but switched to "Studs" due to thick accents.
• Bryan sets the scene for "Studs" (syndicated TV, 90s grunge era).
• Practical summary: Two or three men and women are paired for dates, then recount those dates for cringe-filled entertainment, often laced with sexual innuendo.

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[32:42–55:40] Studs: Wild Women Week—90s Dating Show Breakdown

Studs Panel Introductions & Banter

• Three 'studly' men introduced: an underwear model, a flooring contractor, and a land developer (Milty/Milton).
• Two female oil wrestlers (Sherry & Tracy) join the show.
• Banter about hair, fashion, and how “the 90s were wild.”
• Notable Quotes:
  • “Her honey-dipped hair had my drool glands working overtime. Said no one ever.” (Bryan, 40:02)
  • “You gotta love a woman whose breasts have their own zip code.” (Studs Host, 40:17)

Cringe Inducements & Sexual Innuendo

• Men describe ideal partners (“airhead” desired for simplicity; “complications like talking”—Michelle, 37:25).
• Wild exchanges about sexual chemistry, “boner lines,” and ridiculous compliments.
• Discussion of dancing as a now-outmoded dating activity.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “A knot in my pants. Good lord.” (Bryan, 46:31)
  • “We went dancing and she’s a very good dancer.” (Milty, 46:58)

Consent, Creepiness, and Culture Shock

• Some moments cross into the uncomfortable:
  • “He squeezed both my…breasts together like they were cookie dough.” (Sherry recounting Milty, 51:15)
  • Bryan and Krissy call out the lack of follow up, darkly joking about 90s attitudes toward consent.
• Reflection on the change in dating norms, and 90s TV’s tolerance for borderline assault jokes.
• Memorable Moment:
  • “It’s as if someone said: we’ll give you a hundred dollars, get a motel room, fuck each other and come back and tell us all about it.” (Bryan, 58:31)

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[56:00–69:41] Studs: Heart Counting & Finale

• Silly "heart" scoring system determines which woman is “Queen Stud.”
• More questions about who would "sing a man a lullaby," "iron her underpants," or "hide a video camera in her bedroom."
• Bryan and Krissy lampoon the cringey, innuendo-ridden premise.
  • “Why Milky, the whole show, you’re doing like boner innuendos and sexual conversation and I get the most milquetoast questions I’ve ever heard.” (Bryan, 63:53)
• The episode ends with a pseudo-dramatic reveal of who picks whom, and a trip to Costa Rica for the winning couple.
• General consensus: “Studs” is a riotous time capsule—a masterclass in dated, lowbrow reality TV that was both mindlessly entertaining and absolutely unwatchable by today’s standards.

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[69:46–End] Closing Banter, Announcements, and Reflections

• Bryan and Krissy riff on the style evolution (long jackets, now replaced by short pants), and reference potential for more retro-dating content.
• Announce upcoming “12 Hours of TCB” live event (May 31, 2025) for mental health awareness and podcast anniversary.
• Invite listeners to call in on April 16–18 during live recordings.
• All the usual TCB links, reminders, and affectionate sign-off.

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Memorable Quotes by Timestamp

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-------------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|--------------------| | 06:49 | “I actually have a hard time distinguishing between the real Jim Morrison and Val Kilmer’s version because he embodied Jim Morrison so incredibly accurately…” | Bryan | | 09:22 | “All you need is a social media account and either a really rock hard body or the ability to say and do dumb, stupid shit like we do here at the commercial break.” | Bryan | | 13:01 | “The world is for my entertainment, and I’m just choosing to laugh at it, observe it, and laugh at it.” | Bryan | | 17:18 | “If it’s good enough that you can get yourself in front of 15, 16, 25 million people, then it’s good enough to sit in with the 15 other artists and creators…” | Bryan | | 18:14 | “Fuckin’ Morgan Whalen. There’s a girl on my Instagram…” | Bryan | | 28:32 | “I like Paris. I’ve always liked someone who’s in on the joke.” | Bryan | | 40:02 | “Her honey-dipped hair had my drool glands working overtime. Said no one ever.” | Bryan | | 51:15 | “He squeezed both my…breasts together like they were cookie dough.” | Sherry (Studs) | | 58:31 | “It’s as if someone said: we’ll give you a hundred dollars, get a motel room, fuck each other and come back and tell us all about it.” | Bryan | | 63:53 | “Why Milky, the whole show, you’re doing like boner innuendos and sexual conversation and I get the most milquetoast questions I’ve ever heard.” | Bryan |

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Tone & Style

• Language: Unfiltered, conversational, frequently irreverent and playfully vulgar.
• Energy: Chaotic, quick-witted, heavy on tangent, genuine friendship chemistry.
• Recurring Vibe: Skewer mainstream culture, question the logic (or illogic) of collective nostalgia, and gleefully highlight the absurd.

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For New Listeners

This episode encapsulates what The Commercial Break does best: dissecting modern and retro pop culture through a lens of self-aware, unvarnished comedy. Whether honoring legends like Val Kilmer, marveling at the strangeness of fame, or eviscerating dated TV relics like "Studs," Bryan and Krissy maintain a vibe that’s equal parts mocking, insightful, and just plain silly. For anyone wanting to relive the glorious disasters of 90s TV—or laugh at the weirdest corners of today’s internet—this is your show.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

Foreign.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Deep in the heart of the Mayan Riviera, beyond the sandy beaches, tropical vibes and blue waters, lies an event so exclusive it can't be seen with the human eye. Announcing Fiery Fest 1.2 this is the event that has to be seen. To be seen. Have you seen? Will you be seen? Concert Dance Party, raves, Sporting event, Baseball card signing Festival Festival you will not want to miss. All brought to you by Billy McFarland, El Scammy Gringo Productions Tila Tequila Tequila Boone's Farm Tropical Mist Coolers, the New York State Parole Board, ronjeramy.com and Doug from Across the street with ticket prices Starting at just $37,995, you'd be a fool not to not think about it. Purchase the Bernie Madoff package and you'll be whisked away from a helipad in Valdosta, Georgia to Orland, Orlando, Florida's international airport where you'll meet 120 other Instagram influencers for an unforgettable journey you'd soon wish you'd forget. Then you'll hop aboard our luxury Spirit Airlines private public flight to your destination somewhere in Mexico. You'll be promptly driven to your accommodations in style by Pablo's Cousins. Transportation Enjoy your 6.5 hour drive through the lush tropical rainforest in Pablo's Cousins convertible Honda pickup trucks, sip on complimentary tap water provided by Doug from across the street and enjoy an amuse bouche provided by Billy the Douche. Once you arrive at your all inclusive resort, it's time to unpack, relax and let Donna's Beachside Motel pamper you in style. How about a swim in the above ground pool, Take a bath in our eco friendly outdoor repurposed beer cooler or visit Donna's Day Spa and Salon for a happy ending you nor your doctor will soon forget. But get some rest because the party starts early and you will not want to miss being photographed with some of TikTok's most obnoxious influencers. With over 22 separate locations in four different towns and three different cities, Fiery Fest 1.2 is the most spread out festival. This festival season you'll enjoy music from some of music's most exciting artists like and and and and two late night sets by Doug from across the street. Plus, you'll be raving well into the morning when DJ Dan spends the night away. DJ Dan, fresh from his residency at Tom and Sarah's wedding, will melt your face off with a mind blowing techno laser and two smoke machines. Don't miss this once In a lifetime opportunity to hobnob like an angel investor at a crypto conference with our celebrity munch and brunch, you'll be rubbing elbows with the El, eating street tacos from a paper plate. Celebrities expected in attendance include Rob Schneider, the guy who played Chunk in Goonies, Charlie from Charlie Bit My Finger, Kid Rock, and Doug from across the street with special athlete celebrities like five time Charleston pickleball champion Reggie Twaddles and Russian semi pro basketball star Angela Sideswipe. A wise man once said, life doesn't have a refund policy. Why should we? That wise man dog from across the street. Fiery Fest 1.2 is for the dreamers, the doers, the people who love taking risks and those who are okay wasting their hard earned Money. Fiery Fest 1.2 is not legally bound to tell you anything. Fiery Fest cannot legally disclose the name of musical artists due to contractual obligations and the fact that no contract has been legally obligated. Fiery Fest 1.2 does not yet have an agreement with Donna's Beachside Motel, Pablo's cousin, Transportation, or any other entity named in this commercial. Fiery Fest 1.2, you won't want to miss it unless it doesn't happen. On this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

We'll give you a hundred dollars. Get a motel room. Yeah. Fuck each other and come back and tell us all about it. Go dancing, but only in innuendos.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh my God. A rip here and a tear there. Lips and clothes everywhere has got to be Milton.

[Studs Show Host]

Milty.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, good old Milty.

[Studs Show Host]

What's that mean, Milt?

[Milton (Milty)]

Well, what that means is we were having a pretty good time when we left the bar and we pretty much did the streets of San Diego.

[Brian Green]

You did the streets of San Diego? I'm not even. Is that lingo that I'm not understanding? I did the streets of San Diego.

[Studs Show Host]

Your day with Milty end up Tracy.

[Brian Green]

After you're driving around the city street around the corner. You jizzed on the wall of the bar.

[Narrator/Announcer]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris, best to you, Brian, and best to you out there in the podcast universe. I'm terribly sad today because I just learned that Val Kilmer died.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Oh, I saw that this morning.

[Brian Green]

Val Kilmer.

[Studs Show Host]

Ah.

[Brian Green]

If you're younger than 30 years old, you probably don't even know who Val Kilmer is unless you're a movie buff. And then you will know Val Kilmer because he was in some of the most wonderful movies ever made, quite frankly. I mean, a few of them. Right, so he was in Top Gun.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Tombstone.

[Brian Green]

Tombstone, Batman.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

He played Batman.

[Brian Green]

That's right. He was a Batman one, a one hit wonder, Batman. But I think he played a good Batman. I liked Val Kilmer as Batman. But romance, true romance. That's correct. He was in. Was he in Weird Science? Not Weird Science. He was in one of those teenage movies. He like made his debut in one of those 80s teenage movies. Yeah, but for me, like when people say that what's that movie that won all the awards about the trans woman? Oh, I don't, I can't. It's so forgettable at this point. It's so forgettable. The musical with the trans, you know, drug dealer or whatever.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Yes, Selena Gomez was in it.

[Brian Green]

And yeah, everybody said, or some people said, that movie changed my life. And we were all like, really? That movie changed your life? Oh, no, nevermind. It was anora. Anora. They were like, that movie changed my life. It's like, really, it was a life changing movie. The Doors. The Doors for me was a life changing movie.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

He did such a fantastic job as Jim Morrison.

[Brian Green]

I actually have a hard time distinguishing between the real Jim Morrison and Val Kilmer's version because he embodied Jim Morrison so incredibly accurately and ethereally. Like, I don't know, it was like Jim Morrison came down and just took over Val Kilmer. He looked like him, he danced like him, he sang like him, he acted like him. And even though there's like, you know, not a ton of offstage footage of Jim Morrison, like documentary footage of Jim Morrison, if you watch any real footage of the real Jim Morrison and then you watch the Doors, you cannot tell the difference. It is really hard to do that. And that movie is so incredible. And I know that it's Oliver Stone and Oliver takes a lot of creative.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Liberties, but still, it's a fantastic movie.

[Brian Green]

Yes. I mean, it's great, but as a 11, 12, 13 year old boy or whatever it was when that movie came out, I went and saw it in the movie theaters with some of my friends. Like, my parents would have never let me see that movie, but someone's parents took us to the movie theater, we snuck in to see the door, the guy sold us the tickets, we went and saw the Doors. And I just remember being in that movie theater. Captivated. Oh, captivated.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

It made a big impression.

[Brian Green]

I said, that's what I want to do. I want to do that for a living. I'd always loved music, but then that just solidified it for me. And who could have guessed it, that just a few short years later, I would be falling off stage in a drunken stupor at a empty bar in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, to nobody. Doing my best. Jim Moore doing my best. Val Kilmer doing Jim Morrison impression. It was unbelievable. Val, that I will always. I will always be in love with Val Kilmer for that. For playing that role. He also did. Didn't he do, like, a drug addict in a movie? Like, wasn't he in. Was it Rush? No, Rush was the other guy.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

No, I was going through his whole list of movies. I was like, oh, yeah, about that one. This one. He's played all kinds. He really was so versatile.

[Brian Green]

He was amazing. Anybody and everybody, he was amazing. Amazeballs. Amazeballs. Yeah. I'll be your Uncle Bear. That's a good one. When he met. In the movie when Jim Morrison meets Andy Warhol and Andy Warhol says, everybody will have their. Everybody will have their 15 minutes of fame. So true. He was so accurate about that. He knew it. He saw it coming. And. And now look at us all. We all have podcasts and, you know, Instagram channels, and we're all getting our 15 minutes of fame. Fame. And, like, being famous is not such an elusive thing anymore.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

It's.

[Brian Green]

Quite frankly, it's really easy to do. All you need is a social media account and either a really rock hard body or the ability to say and do dumb, stupid shit like we do here at the commercial break. But anyway, he says, I got this phone like Andy, the guy playing Andy Warhol, who's also a fantastic actor, by the way. He says, I got this phone and God called. But when he called, I didn't have anything to say to him. And I just like the way that Val acts in that scene is so mesmerizing that I don't know any other way to put it. It's one of the best moments on screen ever. Ever. That in the one scene where they're doing acid in the desert, because I've also done acid in the desert. And it was very accurate depiction of what it's like to do acid in the desert. You're scared, you're lonely, and you're certainly gonna die. There you go. There it is. Val Kilmer gone way too young. He got throat cancer.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Yeah, he got throat cancer, but then recovered from that. And his latest thing was he was in the Top Gun. Maverick. Yeah, that One.

[Brian Green]

But they had to use AI for his voice.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Something.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's what they said. I saw his last video. He put out a social media video maybe like two or three days ago. Two or three days ago. And he would. He donned a Batman mask, but his voice was not Val Kilmer's voice.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Yeah, well, there was. There's a documentary out there that came out a few years ago that I watched.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And it was like critically acclaimed, wasn't it?

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

I think. But yeah, it was really good. And it goes through his whole kind of trajectory of. With the throat cancer. I know, but he died of pneumonia.

[Brian Green]

He died of pneumonia.

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Geez. That's what takes you. That's the random. That takes you. When you get our age, when you get into your late 30s, that's what takes you is pneumonia or hip break or something like that. You just can't recover your body just. And do it. Oh, Val gone too. Gone too soon. And he went to Juilliard, too, which I did not know until I read.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

That he was like the youngest person to get in.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really?

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

At 17?

[Brian Green]

Really? I didn't know that. There you go. You learn something new every day. Anyway, RIP Val Kilmer. I'll pour one out for you. You will always be one of my favorites for if. If for anything. I mean, there's so many other great roles you had, too. But if for anything, you literally sucking up the ghost of Jim Morrison and allowing it to be on screen. And if you haven't seen the movie the Doors. Get a glass of wine or your favorite. Call your favorite D. Get him to bring over a bag of your favorite, you know, Laffy Taffy or speedball or whatever it is you choose to do. Be safe out there, kids. Do it at home. Don't drink and drive. Don't drug and drive. But watch that movie in some state of intoxication or meditation and tell me that it's not just an amazing movie, start to finish. It really is. Anyway, that's. That's the sad news today. But, you know, there's lots of other good stuff that's happening in the world. Chrissy. Yeah, I haven't read about any of it, but. I haven't read about any of it. But, you know, I'm sure that there's no.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

There's always good stuff. I have my nice news newsletter.

[Brian Green]

Okay, Give us a nice news newsletter. Pick. Pick one out.

[Studs Show Host]

Pick.

[Brian Green]

Pick an article out. Because, you know, I'm only going to talk trashy shit. And I'm sorry, that's just My. The thing is, is that because I love my Instagram and my news feeds, and I've, like, kind of honed them into this very specific version of the algorithm.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

The problem is it's not always the most positive version of the algorithm because it's not always what I'm looking for. It's not that I'm a negative person. It's. I'm trying to find humor in all of this. I really have decided that this is all becoming very tragically hilarious. Like, the world around us is becoming tragically hilarious.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

A good way to put it.

[Brian Green]

And I think that I'm just going to laugh at it because there's nothing else to do, that I have no purchase in what goes on in the larger scene. All I can do is control the things that are directly around me and maybe make some other people laugh in the meantime. So I think that I've just decided this is all for, like, I think, was it George Carlin that said this? This is all for my entertainment? The world is for my entertainment, and I'm just choosing to laugh at it, observe it, and laugh at it.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

That sounds like something he would say.

[Brian Green]

Does sound like something he was to say. So if it's something that I'm saying that I'm brilliant. If it was something that he said, then at least I've quoted him. I think George Carlin said that. And that's all, really, that we can do. I mean, there are other things that we can do, of course, but not a middling podcaster. What am I supposed to do, Chrissy? Speaking of middling podcaster, while you figure out which story you want to tell.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Us, a couple here.

[Brian Green]

Middling podcaster Morgan Whelan is getting Morgan Wallen. Morgan Whelan. How do you say his name? I don't know. Don't care. Really? Quite frankly, don't care. Morgan is not my flavor of music. I'm just not a huge country music fan. I think there are some great country songs, there are some great country artists. Morgan's not my flavor. Now, that's not to knock his music. I just don't really get into it. Okay, fine, whatever. But did you see where he walked off Saturday Night Live?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Rachel (Voice of God on TCB)]

God.

[Brian Green]

Without saying, like, doing the traditional goodbyes to everybody in the cast. Why. Why do that?

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

I don't know. And then that's afterwards was when he tweeted, yeah, whatever, I gotta get back to God's country or something. So I guess he just had to get out of there. I don't know. He hated New York. Well, Saturday Night Live, I'm not sure.

[Brian Green]

First of all, must be really nice to have a $26 million Lear jet waiting to take you to God's country. How tone deaf is that? I guarantee 99.999% of your fans probably will never sit in a private plane. Most of us may never even sit in first class again, let alone a private plane. And then to tweet that I got to get back to God's country, as if something is wrong. You know, it's like. It's just. It's just divisive. It doesn't make any sense. And walking off directly in front of the camera, where you knew that was going to be out on live television in front of millions of people just seemed rude to me. Like Saturday Night Live. And I want to say this about Morgan Whelan. Wallen. Whalen. Wallen. Whalen. Wallen. What I am. I changed his name. When Morgan went through his drama where he was using expletives that most people should never utter out of their mouth because you're just a decent human being, and that's the wrong thing to do. When he did, he was supposed to be on Saturday Night Live. When that all blew up. He was supposed to be on Saturday Night Live that week. Saturday Night Live obviously made the decision that is too hot to trot right now. Lauren Michaels said, yeah, I'm sorry, kid. You can't. Come on. Not now. This is. This the. The kitchen is too hot. You got to get out. But six months later, they invited him back, and they said, okay, here's your shot. You know, here's your shot at redemption. After he went on the apology tour, and I'm really sorry, and that's not, you know, who I am. And all that other stuff, like, just, like, empty words that come out of every person's mouth when they get in trouble, but they get caught being themselves. And all of a sudden, they have some different story or excuse as to why it happened. Welcome to 2025. Well, Saturday Night Live had him on six months, seven months later. So they invite him back for a second time. And it's not like. So you decide to go do the show, but it's not where you want to be. It's not where you want to be. Why do the show at all? You're doing the show so that you can get attention, because that's what people who are. That's what mainstream artists do. They have to go feed the machine. And you went and fed the machine, and the people at Saturday Night Live and NBC and all the other people who made. Who are involved in that decision gave you the platform to do that. But you can't sit still for 15 seconds and just say goodbye to those people. Seems really rude. You don't have to love everybody on stage. You don't have to love what they're about. You don't have to love their politics. You don't have to love who they love. You don't have to do any of that. All you have to do is just stand there and say goodbye. But you make a show of it.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

And then to me, it's an honor to be on Saturday Night Live.

[Brian Green]

Are you kidding me? Yeah, it's an honor. And I know that people, like some people may argue that, like, Saturday Night Live is a bastion of liberal thinking, and they're always beating up on conservative ideas. They're beating up on everybody. That's what they do. And yes. Are they. Do they tend to lean liberal? Yes. A lot of people in Hollywood, creative types, do. That's. They just have empathy for other human beings. So that's how they lean. But if it's good enough that you can get yourself in front of 15, 16, 25 million people, then it's good enough to sit in the with the 15 other artists and creators who are helping you get that message out, get your music out. It's good enough that you can stand there and be respectful for a second. Now, I'm not sure. I don't think anybody's yet found out whether Morgan even understood he was supposed to stand there. But that seems like. Would seem like a convenient excuse since he's been there before. He's done this another time. So I would say nay to Morgan. First of all, don't invite him back. Second of all, Morgan, just be nice. That's all you got to do is be nice and respectful. We don't all have to agree on politics or anything, but. But can't we stand, you know, can us as artists or creators just stand there and celebrate each other? I mean, whatever. Anyway, who cares? Fucking Morgan Whalen. There's a girl on my Instagram. I think I mentioned this the other day. There's a girl on my Instagram. She got catfished. I don't know how I found this girl. I don't know why I'm following her. I'm following a bunch of people that I know because I found one of the reels funny or interesting, and then I just followed him so I could follow up on it maybe for the show or Whatever. She got catfished by someone claiming to be Morgan Whelan's assistant, mother, brother, sister. She had this whole situation go down, and the person. Those people stole tens of thousands of dollars from her, like from her credit card. They asked to send money. She kept sending it on her. Whatever it was, credit card or Chase credit card or whatever. She kept sending them money through PayPal and Venmo and all this because they kept telling her that Morgan was going to invite her to wherever he lives and that they were going to have a date and that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Listen, I think you got to be pretty thick to believe that any famous person would reach out via social media, ask you for money, and then invite you on a date. Do you know what I'm saying? And I don't think Morgan, with his $28 million private jet, where he's going to God's country, needs any help with. I don't think he needs tens of thousands of dollars from anybody. But let's make the assumption that the story was at all believable in the first place. Wouldn't you do a little checking? Like, wouldn't you talk to him on the phone, get them on a FaceTime, meet them in person? If Morgan wanted $20,000 from me, I'd meet them in person. Yeah. Okay. So this whole thing goes down. And while this whole thing is going down, she's getting very. She's like one of these people who posts constantly, almost as if the screen is a friend and she's update or a boyfriend or a husband or a wife or whatever, and she's updating them constantly on what's going on. Hey, here's what I had for breakfast. Here's me brushing my teeth. Here's what I'm doing for my dance routine. I almost got a job. I applied for this. I did that. All of it kind of like stream of consciousness, a little weird. And I noticed there are a lot of people out there who are doing this 3, 4, 5 reels in an hour, and they're just like. It's as if they're talking to somebody in the room and who they're talking to with social media. If you're going to put yourself out there like that, you're. It's a. You're likely going to have people that are not going to be nice about what you're saying. True. I've never said a word to this person, by the way. I'm not that person. I don't jump in on the comments, but I like to read the comments I just don't jump in on. So this whole thing is going down. She has this imaginary relationship going on with Morgan in her head and she keeps talking about it, blah, blah, blah. Turns out he's not, not real. They're not real. And after some months and some trying to get her money back from the credit card company and all this, it's just gone, it's lost. The police are like, what do you want us to do? How are we supposed to find some.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Random, hard to prosecute.

[Brian Green]

They never get prosecuted. Never. Unless there's like a firm trail of evidence those people are in, you know, Timbuk fucking two. They're never, they're never going to get prosecuted for anything. It's likely. They barely know how to, you know, like barely know they, they barely have a grocery store around them, let alone a police department that gives a shit. So all this goes on. She's. Lots of tears, lots of upsetness. She goes on a local, not a local, but an Internet television show that's much like catfish. It's actually called online Catfish, but it's not the actual. It's not neve. It's like two other people. I don't know if it's connected or not connected, but it seems to be pretty popular and they do catfish stories. So she gets picked to do one of these stories and the guy on the program, the girl in the program are kind of level headed and they're like, didn't you have any indication that this might not be Morgan Whelan? When Morgan Whelan is like, he's talking, you know, he's talking to you on this, on his mom's Instagram account, but he's actually playing a sold out show in Los Angeles. Like, doesn't it seem like, didn't you put two and two together? That he might not be able to talk to you while he's doing a sold out show? And sometimes she seems to get it and other times she's like, well, he could have been backstage. And it's like, no, come on, lady. I mean, you know, honestly, sad. All this goes down, show comes out. She's very upset about how she was portrayed. But then here's the kicker. Over the last couple of weeks, she has started to talk to the camera about how she believes that she is owed, at least owed a conversation with Morgan. Like an invitation to meet with him and have a conversation since somebody else used his name to screw her over. And she thinks that if, if, if I just had a chance, if I just could Meet him, then he would see what a beautiful relationship we can have. This is scary stalker type shit. Now, I don't think she's like a dangerous. She doesn't seem to be a dangerous or violent person. She seems to be very sweet actually.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

For what she's showing you.

[Brian Green]

What she's showing is right. Exactly. She doesn't show us. Show me show. She doesn't show us cooking the rabbits in rabbit stew. You know what I'm saying? But I just keep thinking to myself, I'm watching someone turn in real life. I'm watching someone turn a corner in real life. They have gone from, I had a really bad situation to almost full blown delusional. Like, listen, I would love it if Dua Lipa would show up at my house. She could ask me for any amount of money. I wouldn't be able to give it to her, but she could ask. I'd try. Maybe I'd rob a bank or something for Dua. But if Dua came to my house and asked me for something and said we could have a beautiful relationship, I'd say, astrid, what do you think about a throuple? Polyamory? No, not for you. Well, take care of the kids and tell them I love them. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I take the kids with me. Okay, so. So Dua Lipa is never going to reach out to Brian Greene or Chrissy Hoadley or my wife. Never. Why? Because those people have lives that have their own friends and their own family members and they are very busy and they know better. It's like, it's like rule number one of fame. An agent somewhere. We've had agents that have told us this and we don't. And no one knows who the fuck the commercial break is. Be careful about interactions. Be careful about interactions because people, you don't know who's on the other end of them. And people can interact and react in all kind of ways, but in, in my head, I just know that's never going to happen. Like, Dua Lipa doesn't give a shit about Brian Green. Never will, never has, never will. And with good reason. I'm an idiot. But this poor girl, she just doesn't seem to get it through her head. And I'm starting to believe that I'm watching her turn in real life. A little delusional. Like a therapist needs to intervene immediately. But second of all, that it's really hard to date out there when you're just like when you're hoping that Morgan Whelan's gonna show up at your front door. It must be really difficult to be a single person in 2025.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Yes, from what I hear.

[Brian Green]

I wish we'd go back to the good old days, chrissy. Like the 80s or 90s when it was, you know, when literally poo tang was. Yeah, I mean, I wasn't dating in the 80s, was I dating? It's like when you're in second grade and you get a crush. Is that a date? Like when you go to the all skate with somebody at the skating party.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

To like the movies?

[Brian Green]

Couples skate. Yeah, couples skate, hold hands, stuff like that.

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

I don't know. Okay, okay. In the 90s and 2000s, life just seemed a little easier. It seemed hard back then, but now I realize just how easy it was. You literally walk into a bar and pussy be falling from the sky. No doubt. Not really, but that's what mystery thinks. Anyway, in the 90s and 2000s, life was easier. And that's why, Chrissy, I want to take us back to a simpler time. This episode. And I want to catch up with Blind Date uk. But first, do you have a good story for us so we can end this segment on a little bit of positivity? All right, tell us.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Well, again, I highly recommend this newsletter. It's called Nice News Daily and it comes to your inbox every day, first thing. So you can start with that before you get to the slush and dumpster fire stuff that's happening. So here's something. Paris Hilton, of all people, is helping women owned businesses begin again after the Eaton fire. So just two months after they've eaten fire. Well, that fire's out in.

[Brian Green]

Oh, the Eaton fire. Okay, I'm sorry, they said after they've eaten fire. And I'm like, what? People are out there eating fire? This sounds like good news to me. Okay. All right.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Yes. So just two months after Paris Hilton watched her Malibu home burn to the ground, she's already helping others rebuild their lives. The reality star and entrepreneur is Harnessing her nonprofit 1111 Media Impact to offer grants up to 25,000 to women owned businesses impacted by the fire.

[Brian Green]

Good for her. I gotta be honest with you. I have liked Paris Hilton since day one. I have liked her since day one, since that stupid fucking whatever. You know, that show.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

There's definitely been a fascination with it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton. I was into it from day one. The Simple Life. I was into it from day one. And I've always liked Paris Hilton. And I don't know why. And I was with her one time at a bar.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Oh, that's right.

[Brian Green]

I was with her at a podcast conference one time. I watched her spin and I gotta be honest, it wasn't bad. And she really seemed to be into it. And even though she was with kind of like a bunch of, like old, fat, you know, weird podcasters, she gave us a party. She threw a party.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Yeah. I think she kind of got a bad rap. But I know what you're saying. She was just like kind of in that wheelhouse when we were younger.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

And she was rich, beautiful, fun.

[Brian Green]

What do you think?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Party.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

She's going through her teenage years in front of everybody and. Yeah, there was drug use and alcohol, of course. Like, everybody goes through a lot of people, especially celebrities.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Like I hope to go through again. Yes, I hope to go through it again.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

But now she's married and she has a baby and she's come out talking about the. That abusive school that she went to.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Like wilderness things or tough love things.

[Brian Green]

Those things are terrible.

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I had friends that went to those. I had friends that went to those. Yeah. Yeah. I like Paris. I've always liked someone who's in on the joke. I think it's. I think that we were talking with Tim Baltz. Go back and listen to Tim Baltz's episode Righteous Gemstones Shrink. I'll put some links in the show notes so you can go see it. But we had a great talk with him and. And we were talking with him and he was talking about Chris. Who's the guy? Chris. Now, I can't remember his name, but he was like this weird kind of stand up comic, but kind of Andy Kaufman. Ish. He had his own show for a while. Anyway, I always liked when someone had a Persona, but they seemed to be in on the joke. When she was like, that's hot. And everyone was freaking out because she was. They felt she was dumbing down Soc. I think she was just. Her and Nicole were just in on the joke. They just got it. They got the zeitgeist. They were the zeitgeist.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

They were.

[Brian Green]

And when the zeitgeist ended, she smartly went away and she came back the real Paris Hilton. And that's enjoyable too. So I liked both versions of her. And good for her helping out those. Those ladies. Yeah, I mean, but $25,000. Can we put a little bit more in the tank? I mean, your dad owns Hilton. I mean, come on, let's go. Your dad, your grandpa was Conrad. Come on. Let's go. All right, let's take a break, and when we get back, Chrissy, we're gonna do some blind date uk. It's been a while, and I look forward to hearing what Celia Black has to say for us. Okay, we'll be back.

[Rachel (Voice of God on TCB)]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now, I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

All right? And we're back. Listen, I said I was gonna do Celia Black, Blind Date uk, but we actually got into it a little bit and figured out that we could not understand a fucking word that was being said.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

No, the accents were.

[Brian Green]

The accents were way. So we're going to bail on that, and I'm going to change it up a little bit. I still have 90s dating show material. I've got lots of it. I think we should do as a good backup plan here, I think we should do. Remember the show Studs?

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

God, Studs. This is a. I know we're talking, like, mid to late 90s grunge era, new Rock, Think Kid Rock, Limp Bizkit, Paris Hilton era. Paris Hilton era. That's right. And there was a show where they would take two or three men, two or three women, they would put them on couches, they would send them on dates, and then they would get their opinions of what happened afterwards on a couch. And what you win? I don't know. Who fucking knows. Who fucking Cares. That's not the point of the thing. There's a host, he prods it along and basically here's how it goes. The people who went on the date, as they go on the dates with each other, they write things down, their impressions of what's going on and what's happening. And then the host will read these options out. Did who said this? And then they give him three options. Okay, so I'm just telling you how it's gonna go here. Obviously the producers highly edit and can these responses. No one is this quick witted, but you'll get it. It's a fun, bordering on sexual assault type of show. The 1990s were wild. When you look back on it, it's like, where were we? What were we? What was anyone thinking? How do we get away with this shit? And why do we get away with this shit? So, so let's, let's take a look at Studs here.

[Studs Show Host]

Hey, how are you? Welcome, welcome, welcome to a very special week of shows here on Studs. All week long. It's Wild Women week.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Wild Women. What channel was this on?

[Brian Green]

No, this was on like UPN or the cw. I think it was like in that, that syndication back in the 90s, they started to do this syndication model. Television channels would pop up and what they would do is they would buy mainly syndicated television shows. Shows that were made that no network really wanted, but they would buy them on the cheap, syndicate them, and then the syndicated show would take a cut of the revenue. So channels like cw, upn, wb, all these channels popped up out of nowhere. And they had very little original content. But they were syndicating like, you know, Judge Judge Judy, Studs, all these dumb shows that no one else wanted. And they would put them on during the daytime or late at night. Studs was one of those shows. It floated around, depended on where you lived because the it was the local markets that would buy the show.

[Studs Show Host]

Addition of that very special week of shows. We got a reversal show.

[Brian Green]

We got a special week of shows. As if anybody got excited about Studs. Do you think someone came home and said, mom, it's a special week of Studs. I can't go to school.

[Studs Show Host]

Three guys on a couch. Two women over there. Are they oiling up? They might be because they're hot mud oil wrestler women.

[Brian Green]

Look, hot mud oil wrestlers. I didn't know that was a profession. I think that's AKA porn star. I think that's what that means. With no knock on the porn stars. No knock on porn stars.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

That used to be a thing. Like they would have like oil wrestling contests or something.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, clubs. Yeah. They would travel around like regionally. They had like these regional competitions. I remember that. Good old days. Do you remember good old days here in Atlanta? Roswell Road. Anybody who's hit remembers. Anybody who's lived in Atlanta for any period of time might remember good old days. First bar I went to, first bar I went to and first night I went to that bar way back before the Olympics. Mud wrestling.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Mud wrestling, yeah. It was a thing.

[Brian Green]

It was a thing.

[Studs Show Host]

I tell ya.

[Brian Green]

And those girls knock the shit out of each other, by the way. I love this 90s like logo design.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Yeah.

[Studs Show Host]

Let me introduce the guys on the couch right Next to me, 27 year old underwear model Michel K.M. give him a big hand.

[Brian Green]

Underwear model, aka porn star.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

I mean he's wearing like the sleeveless. Sleeveless button down. That's classic.

[Brian Green]

Why is his body so big and his head so small? You notice that? Hey, look at that guy in the. Look at the guy at the end. Steroids. Sterile.

[Studs Show Host]

26 year old flooring contractor. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

High five, bro. Sweet.

[Studs Show Host]

Contractor.

[Brian Green]

Tai Te go Tyte go. I love Tai Tego.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

He's got that, that hair from. He's got the Kevin Bacon flash dance.

[Brian Green]

He have the. You're right about that Kevin. That's a very. It was a very popular style. Flat top, high, you know, they would like tease it up. It was that transition period between the 80s and 90s when you didn't quite know what to do with your hair. And by the way, if you like Tai Tae go, you should try Tai Tay sitting down at the restaurant. It's delicious. It's wonderful.

[Studs Show Host]

And way down at the end, 30 year old land developer Milton Holmes the third.

[Brian Green]

Milton Homes Holmes the third land developer.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

He's wearing a blazer, he's got cascading.

[Brian Green]

Curls, cascading curly hair, light blue blazer, white T shirt, acid wash jeans, dark colored boots on. This is, this is a time capsule right here. I'm gonna show my kids this and I'm gonna tell them I don't know. This was George Washington.

[Milton (Milty)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

High five. High five. Why are they high fiving each other? What's that all about?

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I think it's all the testosterone. Makes them have to do something with their hands.

[Milton (Milty)]

Four hard, flat stomach, tight butt.

[Studs Show Host]

All right, sounds pretty good. Ty, how about you?

[Brian Green]

I love the host. Sounds pretty good. Sounds great. Someone's just gonna put up a big.

[Milton (Milty)]

Challenge, make me work for what I want.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Says the guy who never wanted that. Says the guy who can't deal with anybody.

[Studs Show Host]

Michelle.

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

I like a woman that has an nice body, long legs, nice breast and a little bit of a, you know, an airhead. I like that.

[Studs Show Host]

You like an airheaded girl? Yeah, a little bit of airhead.

[Brian Green]

Why is airhead. Huh? Interesting. Interesting.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Beautiful airhead.

[Brian Green]

Interesting angle there, my friend. Who cut the sleeves out?

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

That's coming from the underwear model.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, who cut the sleeves out?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's what I was saying.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

It's a button down too, with a pocket.

[Brian Green]

This is peak Abercrombie and Fitch right here.

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

You don't have to worry about what they're going to say and you know, don't have to go into complications. You can just lift things.

[Brian Green]

Complications like what? A conversation. I think he meant to say conversation.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Complications.

[Brian Green]

Complications like talking.

[Studs Show Host]

Right.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

You have to deal with that.

[Brian Green]

I know. What a dumb, dumb.

[Studs Show Host]

We have two wild women for today, Sherry and Tracy. Come on out.

[Brian Green]

Sherry and Tracy. Probably not their real names, right?

[Studs Show Host]

Sherry, Good to see you. Tracy, Good to see you. Have a seat.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

That's classic. Classic 80s, 90s too.

[Brian Green]

Oh, this is, this is, I'm going.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

To guess, Video vixens.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I know. Oh yeah, Video vixens. That's right. Without knowing the actual year, I'm saying 9091 is probably. He's got to be because that hair is straight out of the 80s.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Perm teach.

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

The guys in the crowd, they can barely hold themselves back. It's like they're animals in a cage. Why is she not showing her face.

[Studs Show Host]

Right next to me? 29 year old oil wrestler Sherry Amundsen. Give her a hand.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

She is straight out of a White Snake video.

[Brian Green]

Oh, she. Yes. I mean really, honestly, you're right about that. That is. That's Brett Michaels, one of Brett Michaels wives.

[Studs Show Host]

And next to Sher, she's 24. She's also an oil wrestler. Give it up for Tracy Ray.

[Brian Green]

What's wrong with Tracy Ray? Why is half her hair covering half her face?

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Yeah, she's got that going on.

[Studs Show Host]

Sit back, Trace. There you go. All right, ladies, you.

[Brian Green]

This is back when breast implants came in one size and one size only. Huge.

[Studs Show Host]

Now this works. The woman with the most hearts in the show is Queen Stud. You go on a date, we pay for it. Fair enough. We're going to start with the Ben Stiller Harry Backhart.

[Brian Green]

Ben Stiller would want to get Ben Stiller Harry Backhart. I don't even know what that means. Hair. Ben Stiller Harry Backhart, oil On this.

[Studs Show Host]

Would get all clumpy. So we'll keep it non oil free.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Harry Stiller hairy back.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but why would we know that Ben Stiller has a hairy back at this time in life? I remember it's like the breeze Brief Ben Stiller show on mtv. It was a brief moment in time when it was like part late night talk show, part like comedy sketches, kind of snl. Maybe that's what he's referring to.

[Studs Show Host]

When you're getting ready to go out on a date, how long does it take you?

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

An hour, maybe more.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Oh, that hair. It doesn't surprise me.

[Studs Show Host]

An hour. All right. So we asked the guys if they were pleased when they first saw you, Sherry. And here's what they told us. One of the guys said, said her honey dipped hair had my drool glands working overtime.

[Brian Green]

Her honey dipped hair had my drool glands working overtime. Said no one ever.

[Studs Show Host]

And the second guy said, a flutter of those baby blues and I was Mr.

[Brian Green]

Happy. Said, none of the guys on this couch.

[Studs Show Host]

And the third guy said, you gotta love a woman whose breasts have their own zip code.

[Brian Green]

So you. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, this is so peak 90s. Yeah. And they and the three guys on the couch supposedly said these things. But clearly none of these guys have two brain cells to wrap together, let alone make a comment like that.

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

You gotta love a woman whose breasts have their own zip code. Must be Milty Milt.

[Brian Green]

I can't get over his hair. It looks like a wig.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

It does. It really does. I think it's the first guy.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I think it's the first guy too.

[Milton (Milty)]

I'm saying milk the flutter of those baby blues.

[Studs Show Host]

She does have blue eyes. That's pretty. Pretty. You like that?

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Yes.

[Studs Show Host]

So what'd you think when you first saw her?

[Milton (Milty)]

I figured she was just mine, mine, mine.

[Brian Green]

Oh, me like woman. Oh, me like tit ass. Yes.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Mine, mine, mine. What do you think?

[Brian Green]

Mine, mine, mine. That's all right, Chrissy.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Mine, mine, mine.

[Studs Show Host]

You know agree you first saw him, Sherry?

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

Pretty much the same thing.

[Studs Show Host]

Really?

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Studs Show Host]

That you were his, his, his. All right.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Who actually she looks likes Milton?

[Brian Green]

Get down on close, clean floor, blow dick.

[Studs Show Host]

Said breast with their own zip code. Michelle. I knew it.

[Brian Green]

You knew it. Good job.

[Studs Show Host]

Would that be the new nine digit zip code or the old five digit zip code?

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

Nine digits.

[Studs Show Host]

You like. You like a. A busty woman, don't you said that earlier. Yeah, sure.

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

I mean, I like it when there's something there.

[Studs Show Host]

Sure. Too smart for you?

[Brian Green]

No, she's not.

[Studs Show Host]

What'd you think when you first met Michelle?

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Sherry?

[Brian Green]

No, she's not.

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

No, I basically didn't think anything. You're right. I just kind of lost brain freeze. Cause he's so attractive.

[Studs Show Host]

Really?

[Brian Green]

Oh, she likes him. Okay. She goes for that small headed, big forehead kind of look. Yeah. Do you notice his forehead just moves right into his hair?

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

It does.

[Brian Green]

Like, there's no transition there.

[Studs Show Host]

All right, let's try and get over this gridlock. We're gonna move on you. Tracy, when you talk to a guy on the phone, can you tell anything substantive about him?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Tell whether he's sexy or not or self confident?

[Studs Show Host]

Really?

[Brian Green]

Whoa, listen to that voice.

[Studs Show Host]

Ooh.

[Brian Green]

How?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

By the tone of his voice and how he speaks.

[Studs Show Host]

All right, well, we asked him what they thought of you when they talked to you on the phone.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, God.

[Studs Show Host]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And I hear they all.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

They talked on the phone.

[Brian Green]

They. I guess I have no idea what's going on here. Actually, I thought they went on a date ahead of time, but maybe I'm wrong about that. I didn't watch Studs for the actual minutia, and I only think I watched a couple of episodes. But I. I do remember it being a mainstay of daytime television. For a while there.

[Studs Show Host]

Her savage growl made me feel like king of the jungle. Oh, man. Second guy said, that dreamy voice is as smooth as satin sheets. And the third guy said, sexual, straightforward. Oh, my God. It's Dr. Ruth.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Well, wait. This had to be more than the phone call because they had to say.

[Brian Green]

What they thought of what they looked like. That's right. Now, either they looked at photographs or they saw each other in person.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That savage girl made me feel like the king of the jungle would probably maybe be Michelle.

[Brian Green]

Oh, no, I don't say anything like that.

[Studs Show Host]

What you say Michelle?

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

I said sexual, straightforward. Oh, my God. It's Dr. Really?

[Studs Show Host]

What you talk about on the phone?

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

Well, I could talk about anything and she wouldn't mind. I mean, we could just talk about. Let your mind work and figure it out.

[Brian Green]

Let your mind work.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

That's getting complicated.

[Brian Green]

I know.

[Studs Show Host]

Yeah. Was he a good conversationalist on the phone?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Studs Show Host]

All right, well, who said king of the jungle? Who felt like the king of the jungle? Milk king of the mobile home park, perhaps?

[Brian Green]

Geez, I like this host. He's sassy.

[Studs Show Host]

Juan, what'd you talk about?

[Milton (Milty)]

We talked about wet things, oceans and, you know, fun things that we don't want to talk about here.

[Studs Show Host]

What'd you talk about with milk? Fill me in, baby.

[Brian Green]

I don't even understand what's going on.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

I know.

[Brian Green]

First of all. Second of all, the girl on the couch, Tracy or Lacey or whatever her name is, she cannot stop wiping her nose. Oh, yeah. But again, this is the late, early 90s, late 80s coming out of the. You know, everybody was high back then.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. We just basically talked about getting together and going somewhere because everybody. Everything was just so spur of the moment. But we like that.

[Studs Show Host]

Well, good. All right, we'll come back. We'll see what happened on those spur of the moment dates.

[Brian Green]

We'll come back. We have no substance whatsoever in this segment. Let's get to the next segment.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

I'm so confused.

[Brian Green]

Me too. What's going on? Do they like each other? Do they not like each other, but.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

They apparently have been on a date?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Well, hey, listen, let's find out in the next segment.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Okay?

[Brian Green]

Okay, move along. Here we go. Sorry, there's some space for the commercial.

[Studs Show Host]

Hey, welcome back. All right, where were we? Sherry, how can you tell if a guy's having a good time when he's out with you?

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

Body language, definitely.

[Studs Show Host]

Like, show me body language that says, hey, I'm having a good time with you, Sherry.

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

If they lean forward and look in your eyes and try to touch you, generally, that says they're having a good time.

[Studs Show Host]

All right, we asked the lady, we asked the guys what they enjoyed most about their dates with you, Sherry here.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So they have been on dates. Okay, so we got that down.

[Studs Show Host]

They told us one guy said, nothing gets me hotter than a woman with a talented tongue. Oh, my God.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Well, also, too. I'm confused on the matching up to the person.

[Brian Green]

I think they all went on dates with each other.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So I'm assuming they all went on dates with each other. I thought that's how this goes. I think they all go on dates with each other. Probably talk on the phone. They get to know each other ahead of time. Yeah, but like, who's writing these perverted Dr. Seuss. I mean, honestly, it's so weird. Nothing gets me hotter than a woman with a talented Tony. That's just not something a human being would say.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

No.

[Studs Show Host]

Second guy said. The second guy said, hail, Sherry, queen of the quivering hips. And the third guy said, this girl really knows how to put a knot in my pants.

[Brian Green]

A knot in my pants. Knot in my pants. Good Lord. Oh, my God. The innuendos here are terrible.

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

This girl really knows how to put a knot in in my pants. Ty.

[Studs Show Host]

Nope.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

No?

[Brian Green]

Nope. Who else did you sleep with? Nope.

[Studs Show Host]

What you say, Ty?

[Milton (Milty)]

Hail Sherry, queen of the quivering hips.

[Studs Show Host]

Really? Why is that?

[Milton (Milty)]

We. We went dancing and she's a very good dancer.

[Studs Show Host]

Is Ty a pretty good dancer, Sherry?

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

Yes, he is.

[Studs Show Host]

Okay. You think he'd make a good wrestler?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I mean, personality is flowing out of all these people. I mean, honestly, there's no one has any personality.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

I think like going out and going dancing used to be a big way to go on a date.

[Brian Green]

It did.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

On a first date.

[Brian Green]

You know, Astrid has been telling me since the day that we met. And I have a. I'm not a. I'm not a dancer. And no one's ever gonna claim that Brian Green is a good dancer. But I'm also not afraid to dance. I figure just let it loose, you know, I like dancing. And so, you know, if you don't like my dancing, you don't have to watch me. Right? But Astrid says that where she comes from and in Spain, it's not unusual to go somewhere and dance.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Go dancing?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, because that is a night out. You sit down for a nice meal, you go dancing.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

I kind of like that. Where could we do that here?

[Brian Green]

Not at the Bill Murray concert, that's for sure. We can do it at places like, I guess, Tongue and Groo. I mean, there's some places out there, but like, you gotta bring a bulletproof vest to some of these places. You know what I'm saying? It's so dangerous at 3 o' clock in the morning when you with people that some people are just out there having fun, but then others are in the club doing. You know, we've been to clubs. We know what happens at the clubs. Just back then you weren't allowed to carry a firearm. Firearm everywhere you went.

[Studs Show Host]

So slaughter. But maybe, you know, the next level down.

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

Well, I could pin him.

[Studs Show Host]

I'm sure you could. Who really got a not put in their pants? Who was that? Oh, Milt Holmes iii. What happened with Aaron? What did you guys do?

[Brian Green]

Well, I got a boner.

[Milton (Milty)]

Well, we were out dancing ourselves and one thing led to another and she ran over to someone else and grabbed her tie and shoved it down my pants.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

What?

[Brian Green]

What? What? That's an interesting dance move I haven't heard about before. Let me stuff random socks down your pants.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Someone's tie.

[Brian Green]

Someone's tie. First of all, where did you get the tie? Who's giving you a tie? Yeah. Second of all, you put it down his pants. Third of all, did you give the tie back is what I want.

[Studs Show Host]

Know what happened?

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

I. I have this fetish for ties. I like this guy's tie, and I.

[Studs Show Host]

Got him to do it to me.

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

And I didn't want to lose it.

[Brian Green]

So, yeah, it's a good thing she.

[Studs Show Host]

Doesn'T have a fetish for shoes. Tracy, when you think a guy's good look and cute, what do you do? How do you let him know?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Tell him straight up.

[Studs Show Host]

You just say, hey, what would you say?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Say you're really cute or you're really.

[Brian Green]

Attractive or you are hot.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You really get my goose.

[Brian Green]

Or I love you, whatever.

[Studs Show Host]

You really. You've actually said that to me, guy, you really get my goose.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, they get my goose.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Yeah. Like anybody has said any of these things you're talking about today. Come on, dude. All right, well, we asked, but have you noticed that brooch keeps moving all over her shirt?

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

She looks like a jaguar or something.

[Studs Show Host]

We asked if there was any geeslings over here on the dates, and here's what they said. One of the guys said, her legs are as long as the stairway to heaven. Second guy said, I envy the. And that sweet little innie.

[Brian Green]

That's disgusting. Ugh, my OCD just kicked in.

[Studs Show Host]

The third guy said, from the tips of her acrylics to the depths of her D cups, this babe is one big boing, boing, boing.

[Brian Green]

Another fit. Another boner joke in Dave on our staff's the boner joke writer. He gets one in every time. Good job, Dave. High five.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, my God, I envy the Linton. That sweet little innie. It's gotta be Milton.

[Studs Show Host]

There you go, Milk. The first part of the night.

[Brian Green]

Oh, the back hair. Yeah, they give you a trinket with hair from Ben Stiller. I don't know what's going on.

[Studs Show Host]

What are you talking about there, Milt?

[Milton (Milty)]

Well, when I first saw her, she had a pirate shirt on. And all I could see besides her beautiful breasts were that little belly button.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

She had a pirate shirt.

[Studs Show Host]

What'd you guys do on your.

[Brian Green]

She had a pirate shirt on. Like, argh. That kind of pirate or. What are we talking about here?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We went to go to this one bar and there was a line around the door, so we said, the heck with them. And we went to a real, very nice posh bar next door and we had a very nice time, except for the fact that he squeezed both my. My breasts together like they were cookie dough.

[Brian Green]

Oh, a little sexual assault in the date, huh, Milt? Milt Jr III or whatever his name. Hilt Jr III. I'm a land developer. Hey, now even the host knows he went too far on that one.

[Studs Show Host]

Sometimes the dough is better than the actual cookie. What?

[Brian Green]

I don't even know.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

That made no sense.

[Brian Green]

He's not. He's quick witted in a weird way.

[Studs Show Host]

Her legs are as long as the stairway to heaven.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Or that's gotta be the first guy. Cause he talked about legs.

[Brian Green]

That's right. By the way, did we just skip over the assault part of the night? Like, I mean, don't we have to follow up on that? Like, why are you grabbing her breasts like that?

[Studs Show Host]

From the tips of her acrylics to the depths of her D cups, this babe is one big boying.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Her legs are as long as the stairway to heaven. Maybe Ty.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Nope.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Oh, I knew it.

[Brian Green]

Nope. Oh, Ty. Ty's losing on all fronts. Look at Ty in the couch. He just looks like he's lost.

[Studs Show Host]

What'd you say?

[Milton (Milty)]

I said from the tips of her acrylic.

[Brian Green]

Well, we know what he said because there's only two choices, you dum dum.

[Milton (Milty)]

To the depth of her D cup, this lady's one big boy.

[Studs Show Host]

What do you mean by that?

[Brian Green]

Boom.

[Studs Show Host]

Cookie dough milk.

[Milton (Milty)]

That's what they felt like to me.

[Studs Show Host]

It's that delicious tollhouse taste.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

That's pretty funny, actually. She said soft batch cookies.

[Studs Show Host]

Usually get romantic on a first date with a guy.

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

If there's chemistry there.

[Studs Show Host]

Yeah, if there's schmeck in there. Well, we asked the guys if there was any romance on their dates with you, and here's what they told us. One of them said, oh, let's.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, good. Let's get down to the parts.

[Studs Show Host]

The Pacific ocean is just a puddle compared to our deep desire.

[Rachel (Voice of God on TCB)]

Ah.

[Brian Green]

Oh, okay. All right.

[Studs Show Host]

Second guy said, our mouths fit together like a cork in a champagne bottle. Guy said, the only way I'll forget our passion is to have my brain removed.

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

Our mouths fit together like a cork and a champagne pain. Bottles. Michelle.

[Studs Show Host]

There you go.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's right. I stuck my tongue down her throat. I showed her my underwear modeling photographs.

[Studs Show Host]

So what did you guys do on your day?

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

We went to a restaurant and we ended up kissing after a while.

[Studs Show Host]

At the restaurant?

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

Yeah, in front of everybody. And it was getting a little bit too much kissing.

[Studs Show Host]

So what'd you do?

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

Well, we stopped and we went somewhere else.

[Studs Show Host]

Where'd you go?

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

That doesn't concern you.

[Brian Green]

That you got spicy? Wow.

[Studs Show Host]

You're obviously not a regular viewer. Michelle. Where'd you go? Sherry?

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

He had a hotel room, so I went there.

[Brian Green]

Wow. It's the whiz bang 90s kids.

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

It is.

[Brian Green]

Get after it get on it. Hey, listen, two consenting adults can have a good time. Right, Chrissy?

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Of course.

[Brian Green]

I don't know. I don't oppose. I don't object, you, Honor.

[Studs Show Host]

Nice little Tobin.

[Brian Green]

No.

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

So that's where the date ended.

[Studs Show Host]

All right, well, you get to go again.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

There.

[Studs Show Host]

Pacific Ocean is just a puddle compared to our deep desire. Or the only way I'll forget our passion is to have my brain removed.

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

The only way I'll forget our passion is to have my brain removed. Melty.

[Brian Green]

Nope.

[Studs Show Host]

And what'd you say? Melty.

[Brian Green]

We know what he said. It's the only choice left. We don't. Geez, you don't have to repeat the dumb line four times. Hey, do me a favor. We're not saying my boner lines enough. Can we repeat him?

[Milton (Milty)]

The Pacific Ocean is just a puddle compared to our deep desire.

[Studs Show Host]

Really? What do you mean by that?

[Milton (Milty)]

Well, compared to our desire for each other, I think the Pacific Ocean is.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Yeah, we got it. You just repeated the line again.

[Studs Show Host]

It's the same backwards and forwards. Mel, we're not diagramming sentences here. We're trying to move ahead. Why were you so desirous of Sherry? Give me some reasons.

[Milton (Milty)]

Oh, the way she touches me. The way she holds me.

[Brian Green]

The way she holds you. What are you two. The way she holds you. The way she holds me. I don't know. It's just funny to hear that coming out of that man's mouth.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Even she's, like, creepy.

[Studs Show Host]

Two pretty damn good reasons, Sheriff. Gary, Tracy, you. When you're out with a guy that you.

[Brian Green]

All right, okay, let's take a break, and then when we come back, we'll. This is a very interesting time capsule here, Chrissy. I really am enjoying this. Okay, we'll be back.

[Rachel (Voice of God on TCB)]

Let me do something Brian has never done.

[Brian Green]

Be brief.

[Rachel (Voice of God on TCB)]

Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us. 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercialbreak and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

[Brian Green]

All right, we're back reviewing the early 90s daytime television dating show, Studs, because why not name it, Studs. Get another boner joke in there.

[Studs Show Host]

They really like to give him any signals to let them Know that you're getting ready to get romantic.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Studs Show Host]

What kind of signals?

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Touch them. All right. All right. Take their hand and put their hand on. I hold them.

[Brian Green]

I hold them like a baby. She said I put their hand in a place where. Let's hear that again.

[Studs Show Host]

What kind of signals?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I touched them.

[Studs Show Host]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

Or I.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Or I take their hand and put their hand on part of me. Or I kiss them. Or wait for them to kiss me and then I.

[Studs Show Host]

So you don't mind making the first.

[Brian Green]

Wow, she seems really jittery, doesn't she?

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

She does.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, not at all.

[Studs Show Host]

Okay.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Her brooch is gone.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that brooch is gone. It went right down her shirt.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Got to make it. Someone's got to make it. And if they may be too inhibited at the time to do it, hell, I'm going to do it. Cuz I'm not going to miss out on a chance of a lifetime.

[Brian Green]

Chance of a lifetime. I'm sorry, young lady, I'm sure you have lot lots of chances of a lifetime. You're a pretty good looking girl. I don't think many guys turn you down.

[Studs Show Host]

Well, we asked the guys about your romantic moves. And one of the guys said she whipped out her gum and chewed my face instead. Second guy said, that mouth is more than fast. It's downright supersonic. And the third guy said, a rip here, a tear there and lips and clothes were everywhere.

[Brian Green]

Wow. Seems like.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Does everybody just hook up with everybody?

[Brian Green]

I think that's what goes on here. Yes. I think the premise of the show is we'll give you $100, get a motel room, fuck each other and come back and tell us all about it. Go dancing, but only in innuendos.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh my God. A rip here and a tear there. Lips and clothes are everywhere. Has got to be Milton.

[Studs Show Host]

Milty. There you go.

[Brian Green]

Good old Milty.

[Studs Show Host]

What's that mean, Mil?

[Milton (Milty)]

That means is we're having a pretty good time. When we left the bar and we pretty much did the streets of San Diego.

[Brian Green]

You did the streets of San Diego? I'm not even. Is that lingo that I'm not understanding? I did the streets of San Diego.

[Studs Show Host]

Your date with Milty end up Tracy.

[Brian Green]

After you're driving around the city street around the corner. He jizzed on the wall of the.

[Studs Show Host]

Bar for a while.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It ended up the next morning.

[Brian Green]

Whoa. Yeah, because we were doing blow all night long. I'm sure of of it.

[Studs Show Host]

Fun evening.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. Kind of sticky.

[Brian Green]

Oh, Jesus Christ. I've mercy. What is going on? Oh my God. I can't believe this thing gets censored.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He poured Dr. Pepper on me.

[Studs Show Host]

So you're part of the Pepper generation.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Now, I suppose she whipped out her.

[Studs Show Host]

Gum and chewed my face instead.

[Brian Green]

Or.

[Studs Show Host]

That mouth is more than fast. It's downright supersonic.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That mouth is down is more than fast. It's downright supersonic. Show.

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

No, it's not.

[Brian Green]

Oh, no, I missed out on that one.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

The poor metal guy just keeps getting.

[Brian Green]

Why are we not asking a follow up question about Dr. Pepper being poured on you? I mean, come on, host whatever your name is. Ambiguous host from the 90s dating shows.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

He looks kind of familiar.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he's been. Oh, he was like a host of a bunch of these type of shows.

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

My wife tapped the gum out of her and chewed my face instead.

[Studs Show Host]

Really?

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

Yeah.

[Studs Show Host]

Where were you?

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

Well, we were in my car and we were gonna kiss and she said, hold on, wait, stop. Come out.

[Milton (Milty)]

What about this is over here?

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

I'm ready.

[Studs Show Host]

Come on back and we're gonna find out which one of these guys is gonna sing a man a lullaby.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Is gonna sing a man a lullaby.

[Brian Green]

Sing a man a lullaby. I don't. The writing on this show you gotta know now is horrific. Of course we do. Judging by in the crowd, Studs was pretty popular.

[Studs Show Host]

She's all over. Welcome back. All right, ladies, before the show, we got these guys rounded up and they gave us some descriptions of you. You tell me who they're talking about, I'll give you a heart. How many hearts you got there, Sherry?

[Brian Green]

One.

[Studs Show Host]

And how many do you have, Tracy?

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

Two.

[Studs Show Host]

Woo, boy. We're going to the heart bankruptcy now. We're giving them some giving away. Sherry, according to these three guys, who's most likely to have a teddy bear collection, you or Tracy?

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

Me.

[Studs Show Host]

She says Sherry, Guys. Sherry.

[Brian Green]

Hold me.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

You get a heart with hair back hair on it.

[Studs Show Host]

You got any stuffed animals at your house?

[Brian Green]

No, just me. Yeah, just white snake posters on the wall, beer cans.

[Studs Show Host]

Tracy, who's most likely to sing a man a lullaby? You or Sherry?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Probably Sherry.

[Studs Show Host]

Probably Sherry. She says, got guys sher. There you go, Michelle.

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

Well, because I think Sherry is the kind of romantic person that would do that, kind of.

[Studs Show Host]

And would that make a big impression on you?

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

Yeah, I guess it would.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I like to be sung to like a. Like a baby. Because my mom still does that to me. Every Tuesday and Thursday night I call her up and I say, hey, mom. R by baby.

[Studs Show Host]

Okay, what song would you like to hear?

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

What song would I like to hear? French song.

[Studs Show Host]

A French Okay, Sherry, who's going to iron her underpants? You or Tracy?

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

Tracy.

[Studs Show Host]

Tracy. Guys.

[Brian Green]

Tracy's like, huh, Tracy.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Iron your underpants?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's iron her under her pants. Because when you're high in cocaine, you do a lot of that stuff, see?

[Milton (Milty)]

Well, as an oil wrestler, I think those underwear would get quite a bit of airtime.

[Brian Green]

I wish they had a sound effect like that boying sound effect so I could play it.

[Studs Show Host]

Underwear. Tracy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm telling.

[Studs Show Host]

All right, Tracy. All right, all right.

[Brian Green]

On to the next one. Don't got time. Got four of these to record today.

[Studs Show Host]

Like a hit on her date's best friend. You or Sherry?

[Brian Green]

Oh, her for sure.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Probably me.

[Brian Green]

Probably me.

[Studs Show Host]

Have you ever?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Actually, no. I'd guess Sherry. Definitely. Sherry before me.

[Studs Show Host]

Definitely. You're sure?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Studs Show Host]

You're sure?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Studs Show Host]

All right. She says Sherry. Guys.

[Milton (Milty)]

Tracy.

[Studs Show Host]

Dissuade you?

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Why?

[Studs Show Host]

Ty?

[Milton (Milty)]

She's just an outgoing, aggressive type girl. I just think if she sees what she wants, she's gonna go get it.

[Brian Green]

Uh huh. Just like I did with my hairstyle.

[Studs Show Host]

Sherry, who's most likely, by the way.

[Brian Green]

Who'S talking in the background? There's like a bunch of conversation going on in the background. Is there another television show being filmed in the same room?

[Studs Show Host]

Prepare a man breakfast in bed. You or Tracy?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Me.

[Studs Show Host]

She says it's her. Guys, Sherry. There you go. Sherry, you are cool. Very nice.

[Brian Green]

Why Milky, the whole show, you're doing like boner innuendos and sexual conversation and I get the most milquetoast questions I've ever heard.

[Milton (Milty)]

Well, if Sherry brought me breakfast in bed, I just would never want to stop eating.

[Studs Show Host]

Sure, sure.

[Brian Green]

Did you hear that guy in the background?

[Studs Show Host]

Tracy, who's most likely to hide a video camera in her bedroom? Me, duh. Why?

[Brian Green]

Because I'm a porn star.

[Studs Show Host]

Because I really think she has one. What's happening?

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

Because I really believe she has one.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I feel like a real house dude.

[Brian Green]

Real.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

If I did, it wouldn't be a secret anymore. And then it'd kind of blow it, wouldn't it?

[Studs Show Host]

I don't know. Would it?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't know. I'm not seeing.

[Brian Green]

I don't know.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

God.

[Studs Show Host]

Prefer high end or vhsc?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

High end.

[Studs Show Host]

There you go. Come on back. We're going to find out which one of these ladies is the queen of all schiktaves.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

The queen of what?

[Brian Green]

All schiktaves. I don't know. Who cares? Honestly? Look at that crowd. Wow. That's A snapshot of 1991 if I've ever seen one. Hey, how are you?

[Studs Show Host]

Welcome back. Welcome back to the first in a week long series on studs. All week long, it's Wild Women week. Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

What was that?

[Brian Green]

It was a lion noise. Because the sound effects back then didn't work all that well.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

It was a lion.

[Brian Green]

No, a lion noise.

[Studs Show Host]

Come on strong there. You got four hearts. How many do you have? Trey? Tracy, it's a tie. We could give away two fabulous ultimate fantasy dates. Oh, wouldn't that be special?

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Ultimate fantasy.

[Studs Show Host]

Call it in the air, Cherry.

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

It's.

[Studs Show Host]

You're right. So you're gonna start. You tell me who you want to go. She. If he picks you, you get to go. And we pay for it automatically.

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

Okay. Well, I didn't pick Michelle, even though it's really tough. All you guys are great, but he's very romantic. But I just. I didn't pick him.

[Studs Show Host]

Okay? Okay.

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

And I didn't pick Ty.

[Brian Green]

And I didn't pick Ty because he's ugly.

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

I didn't pick Ty, even though he. He's such a gentleman. And I had a great, great time with him. But since Milty gave me the kiss.

[Studs Show Host]

Of death, I picked Milty.

[Brian Green]

Oh, look at Milty with that long silky hair.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Is his name actually Milty or.

[Brian Green]

It's milton.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Milton Jr. 4th III or something. I don't know.

[Studs Show Host]

What if Milty picks you? Then what?

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

I want to go to Costa Rica.

[Studs Show Host]

Costa Rica?

[Brian Green]

You want to go to Costa Rica? What?

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Oh, okay.

[Studs Show Host]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

One date and you're already off to Costa Rica.

[Studs Show Host]

Sounds pretty cool.

[Tracy (Studs Participant)]

Toes in the sand, cocktail in the hand. You know what else could.

[Studs Show Host]

You gotta love that. All right, Tracy, you're tied. You could go too. What's it gonna be?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, who. It's not gonna.

[Studs Show Host]

Why don't you start there?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, it's not going to be Milton. Sorry.

[Brian Green]

Aw.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We had a very good time. But he also ripped my favorite Pirate Shop shirt.

[Brian Green]

But wait, I thought you guys ended the date in the morning.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Doing the streets.

[Brian Green]

Doing the streets of San Diego. I mean, what more could you ask for? He also squeezed your breasts together like a roll of play. D'oh. I don't know. Something about the cookies.

[Studs Show Host]

I would just. I would just think that makes you look more like a real pirate. Tracy, go ahead.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And. And Michelle, I had a wonderful time, but it seemed. I don't know.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Oh, Ty.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it's a Ty. Well, no one picked Milton. Oh, Ty. Yeah. Oh, I thought Ty was certainly gonna be the loser here. But I picked.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Until later on. But it was almost too later on.

[Rachel (Voice of God on TCB)]

Okay.

[Studs Show Host]

Therefore, I'M picking Ty. Ty. All right.

[Brian Green]

Ty is the silent, strong type. Look at him.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Disney World or back to ties?

[Studs Show Host]

Disney World or back to ties? Both of the ticket.

[Brian Green]

I'm here. He has the best cookie.

[Studs Show Host]

All right, Michelle. Neither of the guys. Neither. Ladies picture. And I don't think those guys picked you either, so you're off the hook there. Did you have a good time?

[Michelle (Studs Participant)]

I had a good time. I had a great time, actually.

[Studs Show Host]

Well, good. Thanks for coming down. Would you show us who you picked there, Sherry? All right, Sherry, you picked Milty. Milty. If you pick Sherry, you could be off on a fabulous trip to Costa Rica.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

I mean, you just decide where you want to go.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I guess that's it. That's what happens. They just pay for you to go somewhere. By the way, I love this show. Now can we. Yeah. I want an all expense paid trip to all of Europe.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Yeah, right.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah.

[Studs Show Host]

All right.

[Brian Green]

They're going to Costa Rica.

[Studs Show Host]

Do you pick Tracy? Not only are they going to Costa.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

He's pretty excited.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he does.

[Studs Show Host]

Go to Disney World or back to your place. What's it gonna be? Going home.

[Milton (Milty)]

Anyway.

[Brian Green]

Oh, shocker. He revealed that he picked neither. Wow. Okay. I think he felt like he probably wouldn't get picked and he didn't want to be. What a dumb, dumb.

[Studs Show Host]

Everybody up, up, up, up, up, up. Say goodbye here. You know that.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

I didn't see that coming.

[Brian Green]

I didn't see that coming either. I didn't know neither was gonna be a choice. All right, maybe we'll do another wild woman week. You never know. That was good. I like that.

[Studs Show Host]

All right.

[Brian Green]

I didn't know what to expect there, but I. I ended up, like, going, why? I should have watched more of this as a child. I would have. This is completely mindless television that I would have enjoyed.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh.

[Studs Show Host]

Oh, wow.

[Brian Green]

Studs now available everywhere you get to.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

Milty's jacket is.

[Brian Green]

I know. Well, that was the style back then. Your jacket went below your butt. Now you. Now your pants don't even go all the way down to your socks. That's the style. I mean, but it'll come back. Everything always does. It'll come back. Guys will be wearing, you know, jackets. It's down to their knees again, like some ska band. I'll figure it out. That was fun. I like that. I'm glad we made that switch last minute because we would not have understood anything. And that I'll find. I'll get back to Celia Black. I'll find an episode where we can actually hear it the Thing is, is that if you can't understand it by just listening, then it defeats the purpose of doing a podcast. Boo. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo yoing. Yes, that's right. See you, black. I gotta knock my pants. All right, just a quick reminder that on May 31st, Chrissy and I will be doing Chrissy and I will be recording and publishing 12 episodes of the commercial break and what we're calling the 12 hours of TCB, celebrating five years of the commercial break as a podcast and mental health awareness month for May. So tune in, mark your calendars. Looks like we're going to be doing a live recording that day. Also, we'll broadcast it on twitch and possibly YouTube. Also, April 16th, 17th and 18th, I would like you to call into the commercial break while we are recording. We will answer the phone call you will get to choose what you talk about. Anything, everything, whatever. We'll stay on the phone as long as we can digest your conversation. As long as we like you, we'll stay on the phone. It's a little bit. I'm calling call tcb. So I'll remind you about that. But 212-433-3822 212-4333. TCB. Questions, comments, concerns, Contents, Ideas? Add the commercial break on Instagram and YouTube.com the commercial break for all the episodes the same day they air here on the audio. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

[Chrissy Hoadley (Co-host)]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

But I'll tell you that I love you. Best to you and best to you out there on the podcast audience. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say good. Sam. Get.