Brian Green (0:00)

If you've been struggling with your weight, Mochi Health is here to help. Mochi Health is a long term weight loss solution personalized to fit your unique needs and goals. Meet one on one with board certified obesity doctors and registered dietitians who are on a mission to listen. Eligible patients can Access custom formulated GLP1 medications at an affordable set price and get them delivered to their home each month. Take our free quiz@joinmochi.com and use code AUDIO40 at checkout for $40 off your first month of membership. Whether you're traveling, advancing your career or just love learning, speaking a new language can create incredible opportunities. Rosetta Stone makes it easier and more immersive than ever. Rosetta Stone helps you absorb a language the way you learned your first through real world context and conversation. No memorization, just practical skills you can use right away. For 30 years they've been the trusted experts in language learning, helping millions of people get the chance to learn different languages. Rosetta Stone immerses you in the language from day one. No English translations, so you truly learn to think, speak and listen in that new language. Don't wait. Unlock your language learning potential. Now. Listeners of this podcast can grab Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. That's unlimited access to 25 language courses for life. Visit RosettaStone.com RS10 to get started and claim your 50% off today. Don't miss out. Go to RosettaStone.com RS10 and deep in the heart of the Mayan Riviera, beyond the sandy beaches, tropical vibes and blue waters, lies an event so exclusive it can't be seen with the human eye. Announcing Fiery Fest 1.2. This is the event that has to be seen. To be seen. Have you seen? Will you be seen? Concert, Dance Party, Raves, Sporting event, Baseball card signing. Festival. Festival you will not want to miss all Brought to you by Billy McFarland, El Scama Gringo Productions, Tila Tequila Tequila, Boone's Farm Tropical Mist Coolers, the New York State Parole Board, rongeramy.com and Doug from across the street with ticket prices Starting at just $37,995, you'd be a fool not to not think about it. Purchase the Bernie Madoff package and you'll be whisked away from a helipad in Valdosta, Georgia to Orlando, Florida's international airport, where you'll meet 120 other Instagram influencers for an unforgettable journey you'd soon wish you'd forget. Then you'll Hop aboard our luxury Spirit Airlines private public flight to your destination somewhere in Mexico. You'll be promptly driven to your accommodations in style by Pablo's cousins. Transportation Enjoy your 6.5 hour drive through the lush tropical rainforest in Pablo's cousins convertible Honda pickup trucks, sip on complimentary tap water provided by Doug from across the street and enjoy an amuse bouche provided by Billy the Douche. Once you arrive at your all inclusive resort, it's time to unpack, relax and let Donna's Beachside Motel pamper you in style. How about a swim in the above ground pool, Take a bath in our eco friendly outdoor repurposed beer cooler or visit Donna's Day Spa and Salon for a happy ending you nor your doctor will soon find forget. But get some rest because the party starts early and you will not want to miss being photographed with some of TikTok's most obnoxious influencers. With over 22 separate locations in four different towns and three different cities, Fiery Fest 1.2 is the most spread out festival this festival season. You'll enjoy music from some of music's most exciting artists like and and and and two late night sets by Doug from across the street. Plus you'll be raving well into the morning when DJ Dan spends the night away. DJ Dan, fresh from his residency at Tom and Sarah's wedding will melt your face off with a mind blowing techno laser and two smoke machines. Don't miss this once in a lifetime opportunity to hobnob like an angel investor at a crypto conference with our celebrity munch and Brunch. You'll be rubbing elbows with the elite and eating street tacos from a paper plate. Celebrities expected in attendance include Rob Schneider, the guy who played Chunk in Goonies, Charlie from Charlie Bit My Finger, Kid Rock and Doug from across the street with special athlete celebrities like five time Charleston pickleball champion Reggie Twaddles and Russian semi pro basketball star Angelo Sideswipe. A wise man once said life doesn't have a refund policy. Why should we? That wise man dog from across the street Fiery Fest 1.2 is for the dreamers, the doers, the people who love taking risks and those who are okay wasting their hard earned Money. Fiery Fest 1.2 is not legally bound to tell you anything. Fiery Fest cannot legally disclose the name of musical artists due to contractual obligations and the fact that no contract has been legally obligated. Fyre Fest 1.2 does not yet have an agreement with Donna's Beachside Motel, Pablo's cousin's Transportation or any other entity named in this commercial. Fiery Fest 1.2. You won't want to miss it unless it doesn't happen on this episode of the commercial break. We'll give you $100, get a motel room, fuck each other and come back and tell us all about it. Go dancing, but only in innuend. Oh my God. A rip here and a tear there. Lips and clothes everywhere has got to be Milton. Milty. There you go, Milty. What's that mean, Milt? Well, what that means is we were having a pretty good time when we left the bar and we pretty much did the streets of San Diego. You did the streets of San Diego? I'm not even. Is that lingo that I'm not understanding? I did the streets of San Diego. Your day with Milty end up Tracy after you're driving around the city street around the corner. He jizzed on the wall of the bar. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris, Best to you, Brian, and best to you out there in the podcast universe. I'm terribly sad today because I just learned that Val Kilmer died. Val Kilmer. If you're younger than 30 years old, you probably don't even know who Val Kilmer is unless you're a movie buff. And then you will know Val Kilmer because he was in some of the most wonderful movies ever made, quite frankly. I mean, a few of them. Right. So he was in Top Gun. Tombstone. Tombstone. Batman. He played Batman. That's right. He was a Batman, a one hit wonder. Batman. But I think he played a good Batman. I did too. I liked Val Kilmer as Batman. True romance. True romance. That's correct. He was in. Was he in Weird Science? Not Weird Science. He was in one of those teenage movies. He like made his debut in one of those 80s teenage movies. Yeah, but for me, like when people say that what's that movie that won all the awards about the trans woman? Oh, I don't, I can't. It's so forgettable at this point. It's so forgettable. The musical with the trans, you know, drug dealer or whatever. Yes, Selena Gomez was in it. Yeah. Everybody said. Or some people said, that movie changed my life. And we were all like, really? That movie changed your life? Oh no, nevermind. It was Anora. Anora. They were like, that movie changed my life. It's like really, it was a life changing movie. The Doors. The Doors for me was a life changing movie. He did such a fantastic job as Jim Morrison. I actually have a hard time distinguishing between the real Jim Morrison and Val Kilmer's version because he embodied Jim Morrison so incredibly accurately and ethereally. Like, I don't. It was like Jim Morrison came down and just took over Val Kilmer. He looked like him, he danced like him, he sang like him, he acted like him. And even though there's like, you know, not a ton of off stage footage of Jim Morrison, like documentary footage of Jim Morrison, if you watch any real footage of the real Jim Morrison and then you watch the Doors, you cannot tell the difference. It is really hard to do that. And that movie is so incredible. And I know that it's Oliver Stone and Oliver takes a lot of creative liberties, but still, it's a fantastic movie. I mean, it's great. But as a 11, 12, 13 year old boy or whatever it was when that movie came out, I went and saw it in the movie theaters with some of my friends. Like, my parents would have never let me see that movie, but someone's parents took us to the movie theater, we snuck in to see the door, the guy sold us the tickets, we went and saw the Doors. And I just remember being in that movie theater. Captivated. Oh, captivated. It made a big impression. I said, that's what I want to do. I want to do that for a living. I'd always loved music, but then that just solidified it for me. And who could have guessed it that just a few short years later I would be falling off stage in a drunken stupor at a empty bar in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, to nobody. Doing my best. Jim Moore doing my best. Val Kilmer doing Jim Morrison impression. It was unbelievable, Val, that I will always. I will always be in love with Val Kilmer for that, for playing that role. He also did. Didn't he do like a drug addict in a movie? Like, wasn't he in. Was it Rush? No, Rush was the other guy. No, I was going through his whole list of movies. I was like, oh, yeah, about that one. This one. He's played all kinds. He really was so versatile. He was amazing. Anybody and everybody, he was amazing. Amazeballs. Amazeballs. Yeah. I'll be your Uncle Bear. That's a good one. When he met in the movie, when Jim Morrison meets Andy Warhol and Andy Warhol says everybody will have their. Everybody will have their 15 minutes of fame. So true. He was so accurate about that. He knew it, he saw it coming. And. And now look at us all. We all have podcasts and, you know, Instagram channels, and we're all getting our 15 minutes of fame. Fame. And like, being famous is not such an elusive thing anymore. It's. Quite frankly, it's really easy to do. All you need is a social media account and either a really rock hard body or the ability to say and do dumb, stupid shit like we do here at the commercial break. But anyway, he says, I got this phone, like Andy, the guy playing Andy Warhol, who's also a fantastic actor, by the way. He says, I got this phone and God called. But when he called, I didn't have anything to say to him. And I just like the way that Val acts in that scene is so mesmerizing that I don't know any other way to put it. It's one of the best moments on screen ever. Ever. That in the one scene where they're doing acid in the desert, because I've also done acid in the desert. And it was very accurate depiction of what it's like to do acid in the desert. You're scared, you're lonely, and you're certainly going to die. There you go. There it is. Val Kilmer gone way too young. He got throat cancer. Yeah, he got throat cancer, but then recovered from that. And his latest thing was he was in the Top Gun Maverick. Yeah, that one. But they had to use AI for his voice. Something. Yeah, that's what they said. I saw his last video. He put out a social media video maybe like two or three days ago. Two or three days ago. And he. He donned a Batman mask, but his voice was not Val Kilmer's voice. Yeah, well, there was. There's a documentary out there that came out a few years ago that I watched. Yeah. And it was like critically acclaimed, wasn't. I think? But yeah, it was really good. And it goes through his whole kind of trajectory of. With the throat cancer. I know, but he died of pneumonia. He died of pneumonia? Yeah. Geez. That's what takes you. That's the random that takes you. When you get our age, when you get into your late 30s, that's what takes you is pneumonia or hip break or something like that. You just can't recover your body just. And do it. Oh, Val gone too. Gone too soon. And he went to Juilliard, too, which I did not know until I read that he was like the youngest person to get in. Oh, really? At 17. Really? I didn't know that. There you go. You learn something new every day. Anyway, RIP Val Kilmer. I'll pour one out for you. You will always be one of my favorites for if. If for anything. I mean, there's so many other great roles you had, too. But if for anything, you literally sucking up the ghost of Jim Morrison and allowing it to be on screen. And if you haven't seen the movie the Doors, get a glass of wine or your favorite. Call your favorite D, get him to bring over a bag of your favorite, you know, Laffy Taffy or Speedball or whatever it is you choose to do. Be safe out there, kids. Do it at home. Don't drink and drive. Don't drug and drive. But watch that movie in some state of intoxication or meditation and tell me that it's not just an amazing movie, start to finish. It really is. Anyway, that's. That's the sad news today. But, you know, there's lots of other good stuff that's happening in the world. Chrissy. Yeah, I haven't read about any of it. I haven't read about any of it. But, you know, I'm sure that there's no. There's always good stuff. I have my nice news newsletter. Okay. Give us a nice news newsletter. Pick. Pick one out. Pick. Pick an article out. Because, you know, I'm only going to talk trashy shit. And I'm sorry, that's just my. The thing is, is that because I love my Instagram and my news feeds and I've, like, kind of honed them into this very specific version of the algorithm. Yeah. The problem is it's not always the most positive version of the algorithm because it's not always what I'm looking for. It's not that I'm a negative person. It's. I'm trying to find humor in all of this. I really have decided that this is all becoming very tragically hilarious. Like, the world around us is becoming tragically hilarious. A good way to put it. And I think that I'm just going to laugh at it because there's nothing else to do, that I have no purchase in what goes on in the larger scene. All I can do is control the things that are directly around me and maybe make some other people laugh in the meantime. So I think that I've just decided this is all for, like, I think. Was it George Carlin that said this, this is all for my entertainment. The world is for my entertainment. And I'm just choosing to laugh at it, observe it, and laugh at it that sounds like something he would say. Does sound like something he was to say. So if it's something that I'm saying that I'm brilliant. If it was something that he said, then at least I've quoted him. I think George Carlin said that. And that's all, really, that we can do. I mean, there are other things that we can do, of course, but not a middling podcaster. What am I supposed to do? Chrissy, speaking of middling podcaster, while you figure out which story you want to tell us a couple here, middling podcaster Morgan Whelan is getting Morgan Wallen. Morgan Whelan. How do you say his name? I don't know. Don't care, really? Quite frankly, don't care. Morgan is not my flavor of music. I'm just not a huge country music fan. I think there are some great country songs, there are some great country artists. Morgan's not my flavor. Now, that's not to knock his music. I just don't really get into it. Okay, fine, whatever. But did you see where he walked off Saturday Night Live. Yes. God. Without saying, like, doing the traditional goodbyes to everybody in the cast. Why? Why do that? I don't know. And then that's afterwards was when he tweeted, yeah, whatever, I gotta get back to God's country or something. So I guess he just had to get out of there. I don't know. He hated New York or Saturday Night Live. I'm not. First of all, must be really nice to have a $26 million Lear jet waiting to take you to God's country. How tone deaf is that? I guarantee 99.999% of your fans probably will never sit in a private plane. Most of us may never even sit in first class again, let alone a private plane. And then to tweet that I got to get back to God's country, as if something is wrong. You know, it's like. It's just. It's just divisive. It doesn't make any sense. And walking off directly in front of the camera, where you knew that was going to be out on live television in front of millions of people just seemed rude to me. Like Saturday Night Live. And I want to say this about Morgan Whelan. Wallen. Whalen. Wallen. Whalen, Whalen, Wallen. Well, bam, I changed his name when Morgan went through his drama where he was using expletives that most people should never utter out of their mouth because you're just a decent human being, and that's the wrong thing to do when he did. He was supposed to be on Saturday Night Live when that all blew up. You're supposed to be on Saturday Night Live that week. Saturday Night Live obviously made the decision. That is too hot to trot right now. Lauren Michaels said, yeah, I'm sorry, kid. You can't. Come on. Not now. This is. This the. The kitchen is too hot. You got to get out. But six months later, they invited him back, and they said, okay, here's your shot. You know, here's your shot at redemption after he went on the apology tour. And I'm really sorry, and that's not, you know, who I am. And all that other stuff, like, just, like, empty words that come out of every person's mouth when they get in trouble, but they get caught being themselves, and all of a sudden, they have some different story or excuse as to why it happened. Welcome to 2025. Well, Saturday Night Live had him on six months, seven months later. So they invite him back for a second time. And it's not like. So you decide to go do the show, but it's not. Is that where you want to be? Why do the show at all? You're doing the show so that you can get attention. Because that's what people who are cre. That's what mainstream artists do. They have to go feed the machine. And you went and fed the machine, and the people at Saturday Night Live and NBC and all the other people who are involved in that decision gave you the platform to do that. But you can't sit still for 15 seconds and just say goodbye to those people. Seems really rude. You don't have to love everybody on stage. You don't have to love what they're about. You don't have to love their politics. You don't have to love who they love. You don't have to do any of that. All you have to do is just stand there and say goodbye. But you make a show of it. And then to me, it's an honor to be on Saturday Night Live. Are you kidding me? Yeah, it's an honor. And I know that people, like some people may argue that, like, Saturday Night Live is a bastion of liberal thinking, and they're always beating up on conservative ideas. They're beating up on everybody. That's what they do. And, yes. Are they. Do they tend to lean liberal? Yes. A lot of people in Hollywood, creative types, do. That's. They just have empathy for other human beings. So that's how they lean. But if it's good enough, that you can get yourself in front of 15, 16, 25 million people, then it's good enough to sit in the with the 15 other artists and creators who are helping you get that message out, get your music out. It's good enough that you can stand there and be respectful for a second. Now, I'm not sure. I don't think anybody's yet found out whether Morgan even understood he was supposed to stand there, but that seems like. Would seem like a convenient excuse since he's been there before. He's done this another time. So I would say nay to Morgan. First of all, don't invite him back. Second of all, Morgan, just be nice. That's all you got to do is be nice and respectful. We don't all have to agree on politics or anything, but. But can't we stand, you know, can us as artists or creators just stand there and celebrate each other? I mean, whatever. Anyway, who cares? Fucking Morgan Whalen. There's a girl on my Instagram. I think I mentioned this the other day. There's a girl on my Instagram. She got catfished. I don't know how I found this girl. I don't know why I'm following her. I'm following a bunch of people that I don't know because I found one of their reels funny or interesting. And then I just followed him so I could follow up on it, maybe for the show or whatever. She got catfished by someone claiming to be Morgan Whelan's assistant, mother, brother, sister. She had this whole situation go down, and the person. Those people stole tens of thousands of dollars from her, like, from her credit card. They asked to send money. She kept sending it on her. Whatever it was, credit card or Chase credit card or whatever. She kept sending them money through PayPal and Venmo and all this because they kept telling her that Morgan was going to invite her to wherever he lives and that they were going to have a date and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Listen, I think you got to be pretty thick to believe that any famous person would reach out via social media, ask you for money, and then invite you on a date. Do you know what I'm saying? And I don't think Morgan, with his $28 million private jet, where he's going to God's country, needs any help with. I don't think he needs tens of thousands of dollars from anybody. But let's make the assumption that the story was at all believable in the first place. Wouldn't you do a little checking? Like, wouldn't you talk to him on the phone. Get them on a FaceTime, meet them in person. If Morgan wanted $20,000 from me, I'd meet them in person. Yeah. Okay. So this whole thing goes down. And while this whole thing is going down, she's getting very. She's like one of these people who posts constantly, almost as if the screen is a friend and she's update or a boyfriend or a husband or a wife or whatever. And she's updating them constantly on what's going on. Hey, here's what I had for breakfast. Here's me brushing my teeth. Here's what I'm doing for my dance routine. I almost got a job. I applied for this. I did that. All of it kind of like stream of consciousness, a little weird. And I noticed there are a lot of people out there who are doing this. 3, 4, 5 reels in an hour. And they're just like. It's as if they're talking to somebody in the room. And who they're talking to is social media. If you're going to put yourself out there like that, you are. It's a. You're likely going to have people that are not going to be nice about what you're saying. I've never said a word to this person, by the way. I'm not that person. I don't jump in on the comments, but I like to read the comments. I just don't jump in them. So this whole thing is going down. She has this imaginary relationship going on with Morgan in her head, and she keeps talking about it, blah, blah, blah. Turns out he's not real, they're not real. And after some months and some trying to get her money back from the credit card company and all this, it's just gone. It's lost. The police are like, what do you want us to do? How are we supposed to find some random. Hard to prosecute. They never get prosecuted. Never. Unless there's like a firm trail of evidence. Those people are in, you know, Timbuk fucking two. They're never. They're never going to get prosecuted for anything. It's likely. They barely know how to, you know, they barely know. They barely have a grocery store around them, let alone a police department that gives a shit. So all this goes on. She's. Lots of tears, lots of upsetness. She goes on a local. Not a local, but an Internet television show that's much like catfish. It's actually called online Catfish, but it's not the actual. It's not neve. It's like two other people. I don't know if it's connected or not connected, but it seems to be pretty popular. And they do catfish stories. So she gets picked to do one of these stories. And the guy on the program, the girl in the program are kind of level headed and they're like, didn't you have any indication that this might not be Morgan Whelan? When Morgan Whelan is like, he's talking, you know, he's talking to you on this, on his mom's Instagram account, but he's actually playing a sold out show in Los Angeles. Like, doesn't it seem like, didn't you put two and two together? That he might not be able to talk to you while he's doing a sold out show? And sometimes she seems to get it and other times she's like, well, he could have been backstage. And it's like, no, come on, lady. I mean, you know, honestly sad. All this goes down, show comes out. She's very upset about how she was portrayed. But then here's the kicker. Over the last couple of weeks, she has started to talk to the camera about how she believes that she is owed, at least owed a conversation with Morgan. Like an invitation to meet with him and have a conversation since somebody else used his name to screw her over. And she thinks that if, if, if I just had a chance, if I just could meet him, then he would see what a beautiful relationship we can have. This is scary stalker type shit. Now, I don't think she's like a dangerous. She doesn't seem to be a dangerous or violent person. Seems to be very sweet, actually for what she's showing you. What she's showing is right. Exactly. She doesn't show us. Show me show. She doesn't show us cooking the rabbits in rabbit stew. You know what I'm saying? But I just keep thinking to myself, I'm watching someone turn in real life. I'm watching someone turn a corner in real life. They have gone from, I had a really bad situation to almost full blown delusional. Like, listen, I would love it if Dua Lipa would show up at my house. She could ask me for any amount of money. I wouldn't be able to give it to her, but she could ask. I'd try. Maybe I'd rob a bank or something for Dua. But if Dua came to my house and asked me for something and said we could have a beautiful relationship, I'd say, astrid, what do you think about a throuple Polyamory? No, not for you. Well, take care of the kids and tell them I love them. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'd take the kids with me. Okay, so. So Dua Lipa is never going to reach out to Brian Greene or Chrissy Hoadley or my wife. Never. Why? Because those people have lives that have their own friends and their own family members and they are very busy and they know better. It's like, it's like rule number one of fame. An agent somewhere. We've had agents that have told us this and we don't. And no one knows who the fuck the commercial break is. Be careful about interactions. Be careful about interactions because people, you don't know who's on the other end of them. And people can interact and react in all kind of ways, but in. In my head, I just know that's never gonna happen. Like, Dua Lipa doesn't give a shit about Brian Greene. Never will, never has, never will. And with good reason. I'm an idiot, but this poor girl, she just doesn't seem to get it through her head. And it. I'm starting to believe that I'm watching her turn in real life, a little delusional. Like a therapist needs to intervene immediately. But second of all, that it's really hard to date out there when you're just like when you're hoping that Morgan Whelan's gonna show up at your front door. It must be really difficult to be a single person in 2025. So, yes, from what I hear. I wish we'd go back to the good old days, chrissy. Like the 80s or 90s when it was, you know, when literally Poo Tang was. Yeah, I mean, I wasn't dating in the 80s, was I dating? Like when you're in second grade and you get a crush, is that a date? Like when you go to the all skateboard with somebody at the skating party to, like the movies? Couples skate. Yeah, couples skate, hold hands, stuff like that. I don't know. I don't know. Okay, okay. In the 90s and 2000s, life just seemed a little easier. It seemed hard back then, but now I realize just how easy it was. You literally walk into a bar and pussy be falling from the sky. No doubt. Not really, but that's what mystery thinks. Anyway, in the 90s and 2000s, life was easier. And that's why, Chrissy, I wanna take us back to a simpler time. This episode. And I wanna catch up with Blind Date uk. Ooh. But first, do you have A good story for us. So we can end this segment on a little bit of positivity. All right, tell us. Well, again, I highly recommend this newsletter. It's called Nice News Daily, and it comes to your inbox every day, first thing. So you can start with that before you get to the slush and dumpster fire stuff that's happening. So here's something. Paris Hilton, of all people, is helping women owned businesses begin again after they eat in fire. So just two months after they've eaten fire. Well, that fire is out in. Oh, the eaten fire. Okay, I'm sorry. They said after they've eaten fire. And I'm like, what? People are out there eating fire? This sounds like good news to me. Okay. All right. Yes. So just two months after Paris Hilton watched her Malibu home burn to the ground, she's already helping others rebuild their lives. The reality star and entrepreneur is Harnessing her nonprofit 1111 Media Impact to offer grants up to 25,000 to women owned businesses impacted by the fire. Good for her. I gotta be honest with you. I have liked Paris Hilton since day one. I have liked her since day one. Since that stupid fucking whatever. You know, that show. There's definitely been a fascination with it. Yeah. Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton. I was into it from day one. Simple Life. The simple life. I was into it from day one. And I've always liked Paris Hilton and I don't know why. And I was with her one time at a bar. Oh, that's right. I was with her at a podcast conference one time. I watched her spin. And I gotta be honest, it wasn't bad. And she really seemed to be into it. And even though she was with kind of like a bunch of, like, old, fat, you know, weird podcasters, she gave us a party. She threw a party. Yeah. I think she kind of got a bad rap. But I know what you're saying. She was just, like, kind of in that wheelhouse when we were younger. Yes. And she was rich, beautiful, fun. What are you doing? She's going through her teenage years in front of everybody and yeah, there was drug use and alcohol, of course. Like, everybody goes through a lot of people, especially celebrities. Yes. Like I hope to go through again. Yes, I hope to go through it again. But now she's married and she has a baby and she's come out talking about that abusive school that she went to. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like wilderness things. The wilderness things. Those things are terrible. Yeah, I had friends that went to those. I had friends that went to those. Yeah, yeah, I like Paris. I'VE always liked someone who's in on the joke. I think it's, I think that we were talking with Tim Boltz. Go back and listen to Tim Baltz's episode Righteous Gemstones Shrink. I'll put some links in the show notes so you can go see it. But we had a great talk with him and, and we were talking with him and he was talking about Chris. Who's the guy? Chris. Now I can't remember his, but he was like this weird kind of stand up comic, but kind of Andy Kaufman ish. He had his own show for a while. Anyway, I always liked when someone had a Persona, but they seemed to be in on the joke. Yeah, when she was like, that's hot. And everyone was freaking out because she was. They felt she was dumbing down society. I think she was just. Her and Nicole were just in on the joke. They just got it. They got the zeitgeist. They were the zeitgeist. They were. And when the zeitgeist ended, she smartly went away and she came back the real Paris Hilton. And that's enjoyable, too. So I liked both versions of her. And good for her helping out those ladies. Yeah, I mean, but $25,000. Can we put a little bit more in the tank? I mean, your dad owns Hilton. I mean, come on, let's go. Your dad, your grandpa was Conrad. Come on, let's go. All right, let's take a break and when we get back, Chrissy, we're going to do some blind date uk. It's been a while and I look forward to hearing what Celia Black has to say for us. Okay, we'll be back. Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video just in case you want to look at chrissy@tcbpodcast.com Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break. This episode is sponsored in part by Chime Credit. Unless you've been hibernating for the last two or three years, then you are well aware that the price of everything has skyrocketed. And when the cost of living is so high, the last thing any of us need is more credit card debt. And when your credit is less than perfect, you're going to pay more for everything. But there is a better way. You can build credit with money you set aside and avoid interest and expensive debt using Chimes Credit Builder Card. It's a secured card. It's got no credit check or minimum deposit required. Take it from a guy who's been there. When you have better credit, it's easier to plan and pay for family vacations and unexpected expenses. You get lower rates on loans for things like cars and homes. A good credit score makes a difference. The Chime Credit Builder Visa credit card has no annual fees, interest or credit check. And we all know what it's like to stretch a paycheck. But with Chime's Credit Builder card, you can get paid up to two days early when you use direct deposit. Plus you'll get access to 50,000 fee free ATMs. Turn your everyday purchases and one time payments into steps toward your financial goals with Chime's secured Credit Builder Visa credit Card. Get started today@chime.com that's chime.com Commercial Chime feels like progress the Chime Credit Builder Visa credit card is issued by the Bancorp NA or Stride Bank NA. SpotMe eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Chime Checking Account required to apply out of network ATM withdrawal and OTC advance fees may apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file. Late payments may negatively impact your credit score. Results may vary. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details. And we want to thank Chime Credit for being a sponsor of the commercial break. Hey all you cats and kittens out there in the podcast universe, I want to tell you about Rule breakers with Saraya. It's a new podcast from our partners at Odyssey that celebrates the rebels, the risk takers and the ones who make their own way. It's these people who often change the lives of the people around them and the world at large. And while in the moment it may be hard to see the forest through the trees, those rule breakers often define what it means to be a success. Each week, former wrestling superstar Saraya sits down with the boldest voices in sports, entertainment and beyond to talk about breaking barriers, defying expectations, and rewriting the rules. They're talking about it all, the fights, the failures, and the moments that changed everything. You can follow and listen to Rule breakers with Saraya on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. And here, here to the rule breakers for keeping life interesting. This episode is sponsored by one of our favorites, Squarespace. I was having a conversation with my brother Patrick the other day about all of the challenges and hurdles that come with being an entrepreneur. Making revenue is just one of many things you have to deal with when you're starting or scaling a business business. So when I find a tool that helps me knock down multiple bullet points on the to do list of entrepreneurship, I get excited to share. And that's why Squarespace is a tool that we use ourselves. Squarespace is an all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just going into business for yourself or you're scaling a business you've had for a while, Squarespace gives you all the tools you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings and get paid. Squarespace allows you to have cutting edge design even if you're not a designer with their blueprint AI and you get SEO tools. Search engine optimization is not something on the wish list anymore. It's a must. Squarespace has integrated search engine optimization tools to help you get noticed when people are searching for your product or service online. And of course, once you get those customers, you're going to need to nurture that relationship over time. Squarespace email campaigns give you all the tools you need to engage with your client, promote your services, and grow your revenue. Head to squarespace.com commercial for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. We use Squarespace. We love Squarespace, we endorse Squarespace, and we thank Squarespace for being a sponsor of the commercial break. All right, and we're back. Listen, I said I was going to do Celia Black Blind Date uk, but we actually got into it a little bit and figured out that we could not understand a fucking word that was being said. No, the accents were way thick. So we're going to bail on that. And I'm going to change it up a little bit. I still have 90s dating show material. I've got lots of it. I think we should do, as a good backup plan here, I think we should do, Remember the show Studs? Yes. God, Studs, this is a. I know we're talking like mid to late 90s grunge era, new Rock, think Kid Rock, Limp Bizkit, Paris Hilton era. Paris Hilton era. That's right. And there was a show where they would take two or three men, two or three women, they would put them on couches, they would send them on dates, and then they would get their opinions of what happened afterwards on a couch. And what you win? I don't know. Who fucking knows? Who fucking cares? That's not the point of the thing. There's a host, he prods it along and basically here's how it goes. The people who went on the date, as they go on the dates with each other, they write things down, their impressions of what's going on and what's happening. And then the host will read these options out. Did who said this? And then they give them three options. Okay, so I'm just telling you how it's going to go here. Obviously the producers highly edit and can these responses. No one is this quick witted, but you'll get it. It's a fun, bordering on sexual assault type of show. The 1990s were wild. When you look back on it, it's like, where were we? What were we? What was anyone thinking? How, how do we get away with this shit? And why do we get away with this shit? So let's, let's take a look at Studs here. Hey, how are ya? Welcome, welcome, welcome to a very special week of shows here on Studs. All week long. It's Wild Winning week, Wild Lemonade. Oh, what channel is this on? No, this was on like UPN or the cw. I think it was like in that, that syndication back in the 90s, they started to do this syndication model. Television channels would pop up and what they would do is they would buy mainly syndicated television shows. Shows that were made that no network really wanted. But they would buy them on the cheap, syndicate them. And then the syndicated show would take a cut of the revenue. So channels like C, upn, wb, all these channels popped up out of nowhere and they had very little original content. But they were syndicating like, you know, Judge Judge Judy, Studs, all these dumb shows that no one else wanted. And they would put them on during the Daytime or late at night. Studs was one of those shows. It floated around, depended on where you lived because the it was the local markets that would buy the show. Addition of that very special week of shows. We got a reversal show. We got a special week of shows. As if anybody got excited about Stud. Do you think someone came home and said, mom, it's a special week of Studs. I can't go to school. Three guys on a couch. Two women over there. Are they oiling up? They might be because they're hot mud. Hot mud. Oil wrestlers. I didn't know that was a profession. I think that's AKA porn star. I think that's what that means. But no knock on the porn stars. No knock on porn stars. That used to be a thing. Like they would have like oil wrestling contest or something. Clubs. Yeah, they would travel around like regionally. They had like these regional competitions. I remember that. Good old days. Do you remember good old days here in Atlanta on Roswell Road? Anybody who's hit remembers. Anybody who's lived in Atlanta for any period of time might remember good old days. First bar I went to, first bar I went to and first night I went to that bar. Way back before the Olympics. Mud wrestling. Mud wrestling, yeah, it was a thing. It was a thing, I tell ya. And those girls knock the shit out of each other. By the way. I love this 90s like logo design. Yeah. Let me introduce the guys on the couch right Next to me, 27 year old underwear model Michel K.M. give him a big hand. Underwear model, aka porn star. I mean he's wearing like the sleeveless button down. That's classic. Why is his body so big and his head so small? Do you notice that? Hey, look at that guy at the end. Look at that guy at the end. Steroids. Sterol. 26 year old flooring contractor. Yeah. High five bro. Sweet contractor. Tyte go. Taite go. I love Tytego. He's got that, that hair from the keys. Got the Kevin Bacon flash dance. He does have the. You're right about that Kevin. That's a very. It was a very popular style. Flat top high, you know, they would like tease it up. It was that transition period between the 80s and 90s when you didn't quite know what to do with your hair. And by the way, if you like Ty Tae Go, you should try Tai Tay sitting down at the restaurant. It's delicious. It's wonderful. And way down at the end, 30 year old land developer Milton Holmes III. Milton Holmes III, land developer. He's wearing A blazer. He's got cascading curls, cascading curly hair, light blue blazer, white T shirt, acid washed jeans, dark colored boots on. This is. This is a time capsule right here. I'm going to show my kids this and I'm going to tell them I don't know. This was George Washington. Yeah. High five. High five. Why are they high fiving each other? What's that all about? I don't know. Are they incompetent? Yeah, I think it's all the testosterone. Makes them have to do something with their hands. Four hard, flat stomach, tight butt. All right, sounds pretty good. Ty, how about you? I love the host. Sounds pretty good. Sounds great. Someone's just gonna put up a big challenge, make me work for what I want. Okay. Says the guy who never wanted that. Says the guy who can't deal with anybody. Michelle, I like a woman that has a nice body, long legs, nice breast and a little bit of a, you know, an airhead. I like that. You like an airheaded girl? Yeah, a little bit of an airhead. Why is airhead. Huh? Interesting. Interesting. Beautiful airhead. Interesting angle there, my friend. Who cut the sleeves out? That's coming from the underwear model. Yeah, who cut the sleeves out. That's what I was saying. It's a button down too, with a pocket. This is peak Abercrombie and Fitch right here. You don't have to worry about what they're going to say and don't have to go into complications. You can just let things happen. Complications like what? A conversation. I think he meant to say conversation. Complications. Complications like talking. Right. Yeah. You have to deal with that. I know. What a dumb, dumb. Two wild women for today. Sherry and Tracy. Come on out. Sherry and Tracy. Probably not their real names. Sherry, good to see you. Tracy, good to see you. Have a seat. That's classic. Classic 80s, 90s too. Oh, this is. This is n. I'm going to guess. Video Vixens. Yeah, I know. Oh yeah, Video Vixens. That's right. Without knowing the actual year, I'm saying 9091 is probably. He's gotta be. He's gotta be because that hair is straight out of the 80s perm teeth. Bang. Yeah. The guys in the crowd, they can barely hold themselves back. It's like they're animals in a cage. Why is she not showing her face right next to me? 29 year old oil wrestler Sherry Amundsen. Give her a hand. She is straight out of a white snake video. Oh, she. Yes. I mean really, honestly, you're right about that. That's Bret Michaels, one of Bret Michaels wives. And next to Sherry. She's 24. She's also an oil wrestler. Give it up for Tracy Ray. What's wrong with Tracy Ray? Why is half her hair covering half her face? Yeah, she's got that going on. Sit back, Trace. There you go. All right, ladies, this is back when breast implants came in one size and one size only. Huge. Now this works. The woman with the most hearts in the show is Queen Stud. You go on a date, we pay for it. Fair enough. We're going to start out with the Ben Stiller, Harry Backhart. Ben Stiller, Ben Stiller, Harry Backhart. I don't even know what that means. Ben Stiller, Harry Backhart. Oil on this would get all clumpy. So we'll keep it non oil, keep it oil free. Stiller, hairy back. Yeah, but why would we know that Ben Stiller has a hairy back at this time in life? I remember it's like the Brief Ben Stiller show on mtv. It was a brief moment in time. It was like part late night talk show, part like comedy sketches. Kind of snl. Maybe that's what he's referring to. When you're getting ready to go out on a date, how long does it take you? An hour, maybe more. Okay. Oh, that hair. It doesn't surprise me. An hour. All right, so we asked the guys if they were pleased when they first saw you. Sherry. Here's what they told us. One of the guys said, her honey dipped hair had my drool glands working overtime. Her honey dipped hair had my drool glands working overtime. Said no one ever. And the second guy said, a flutter of those baby blues. And I was Mr. Happy. Said, none of the guys on this couch. And the third guy said, you gotta love a woman whose breasts have their own zip code. So you. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is so peak 90s. And the three guys on the couch supposedly said these things, but clearly none of these guys have no two brain cells to wrap together, let alone make a comment like that. You gotta love a woman whose breasts have their own zip code. Must be Milty Milt. I can't get over his hair. It looks like a wig. It does. It really does. I think it's the first guy. Yeah, I think it's the first guy, too. I'm just saying, Milt, the flutter of those baby blues. She does have blue eyes. That's pretty. Pretty. You like that? Yes. So what'd you think when you first saw her? I figured she was just mine, mine, mine. Oh, me like woman. Oh, me like tit ass. Yes. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. That's right. Kissy. Mine, mine, mine. You know agree you first saw him, Sherry? Pretty much the same thing. Really? All right, who? Who Actually, she likes Milton. Clothes, clean floor, blow dick breasts with their own zip code. Michelle. I knew it. You knew it. Good job. Would that be the new 9 digit zip code or the old 5 digit zip code? 9 digits? Really? You like a busty woman, don't you? Said that earlier. Yeah, sure. I mean, I like it when there's something there. Sure. Is she too smart for you? No, she's not. What'd you think when you first met Michelle, Sherry? No, she's not. No, I basically didn't think anything. You're right. I just kind of lost brain freeze. Cause he's so attractive. Really? Oh, she likes him. Okay. She goes for that small headed, big forehead kind of look. Yeah. Do you notice his forehead? Just moves right into his hair, like there's no transition there. All right, let's try and get over this gridlock. We're move on to you. Tracy, when you talk to a guy on the phone, can you tell anything substantive about him? Whether he's sexy or not, or self confident? Really? Whoa, listen to that voice. Ooh, how? By the tone of his voice and how he speaks. All right, well, we asked him what they thought of you when they talked to you on the phone. Oh, God. Yeah. And they talked on the phone. They. I guess I have no idea what's going on here. Actually, I thought they went on a date ahead of time, but maybe I'm wrong about that. I didn't watch Studs for the actual minutia and I only think I watched a couple of episodes. But I do remember it being a mainstay of daytime television. For a while there, her savage growl made me feel like king of the jungle. Oh, man. Second guy said, that dreamy voice is as smooth as satin sheets. And the third guy said sexual straightforward. Oh, my God, it's Dr. Ruth. Well, wait. This had to be more than the phone call because they had to say what they thought of what they looked like. That's right. Now, either they looked did photographs or they saw each other in person. That savage girl made me feel like the king of the jungle would probably maybe be Michelle. Oh, no, I don't say anything like that. What'd you say, Michelle? I said sexual straightforward. Oh, my God. It's Dr. Really? What'd you talk about on the phone? Well, I could talk about anything and she wouldn't mind. I mean, we could just talk about. Let your mind work and figure it out. Let your mind work. Your mind work. Complicated. I know. Yeah. Was he a good conversationalist on the phone? Yes. All right, well, who said? King of the jungle? Who felt like the king of the jungle? Milk king of the mobile home park, perhaps? Jeez, I like this host. He's sapping. Why? What'd you talk about? We talked about wet things, oceans and, you know, fun things that we don't want to talk about here. What'd you talk about with milk? Fill me in. Crazy. I don't even understand what's going on. I know. First of all. Second of all, the girl on the couch, Tracy or Lacey or whatever her name is, she cannot stop wiping her nose. Oh, yeah. But again, this is the late, early 90s, late 80s coming out of the. You know, everybody was high back then. Yeah. We just basically talked about getting together and going somewhere because everything was just so spur of the moment. But we like that. Well, good. All right, we'll come back. We'll see what happened on those spur of the moment dates. We'll come back. We have no substance whatsoever in this segment. Let's get to the next segment. I'm so confused. Me, too. What's going on? Do they like each other? Do they not like each other, but they apparently have been on a date? Yeah. Well, hey, listen, let's find out in the next segment. Okay? Okay, move along. Here we go. Sorry, there's some space for the commercial. Hey, welcome back. All right, where were we? Sherry, how can you tell if a guy's having a good time when he's out with you? Body language, definitely. Like, show me body language that says, hey, I'm having a good time with you, Sherry. If they lean forward and look in your eyes and try to touch you, generally, that says, we're having a good time. All right, we asked the lady, we asked the guys what they enjoyed most about their dates with you. Sherry, here's. Yeah, so they have been on dates. Okay, so we got that down. They told us one guy said, nothing gets me hotter than a woman with a talented tongue. Oh, my God. Well, and also, too, I'm confused on the matching up to the person. I think they all went on dates with each other. Yeah. So I'm assuming they all went on dates with each other. I thought that's how this goes. I think they all go on dates with each other, probably talk on the phone. They get to know Each other ahead of time. Yeah, but like, who's writing these? Perverted Dr. Seuss. I mean, honestly, it's so weird. Nothing gets me hotter than a woman with a talented tongue. That's just not something a human being would say. No. Second guy said. The second guy said, hail, Sherry, queen of the quivering hips. And the third guy said, this girl really knows how to put a knot in my pants. A knot in my pants. A knot in my pants. Good Lord. Oh, my God. The innuendos here are terrible. This girl really knows how to put a knot in my pants. Ty? Nope. No? Nope. Who else did you sleep with? Nope. What you say, Ty? Hail, Sherry, queen of the quivering hips. Really? Why is that? We. We went dancing. And she's a very good dancer. Is Ty a pretty good dancer, Sherry? Yes, he is. Okay. You think he'd make a good wrestler? Yeah. I mean, personality is flowing out of all these people. I know. I mean, honestly, there's no one has any. I think, like, going out and going dancing used to be a big way to go on a date. It did. First date. You know, Astrid has been telling me since the day that we met. And I have a. I'm not a. I'm not a dancer. And no one's ever gonna claim that Brian Green is a good dancer. But I'm also not afraid to dance. I figure just let it loose, you know, I like dancing. And so, you know, if you don't like my dancing, you don't have to watch me. Right? But Astrid says that where she comes from and in Spain, it's not unusual to go somewhere and dance. Go dancing? Yeah, because that is a night out. You sit down for a nice meal, you go dancing. Maybe I kind of like that. Where could we do that here? Not at the Bill Murray concert, that's for sure. We can do it at places like, I guess, Tongue and Groo. I mean, there's some places out there, but like, you gotta bring a bulletproof vest to some of these places, you know what I'm saying? It's so dangerous at 3 o'clock in the morning with people that some people are just out there having fun. But then others are in the club doing, you know, We've been to clubs. We know what happens at the clubs. Just back then you weren't allowed to carry a firearm. Firearm. Everywhere you went. So slaughter. But maybe, you know, the next level down. Well, I could pin him. I'm sure you could. Who really got a not put in their pants? Who was that? Oh, Milt Holmes iii. What Happened with Aaron. What'd you guys do? Well, I got a boner. Well, we were out dancing ourselves, and one thing led to another, and she ran over to someone else and grabbed their tie and shoved it down my pants. What? What? What? That's an interesting dance move I haven't heard about before. Let me stuff random socks down your pants. Someone's tie. Someone's tie. First of all, where did you get the tie? Who's giving you a tie? Yeah, yeah. Second of all, you put it down his pants. Third of all, did you give the tie back is what I want. Know what happened? I. I have this fetish for ties. I like this guy's tie, and I got him to give it to me, and I didn't want to lose it. So. Yeah, it's a good thing she doesn't have a fetish for shoes. Tracy. Yes. When you think a guy's good, look and cute, what do you do? How do you let him know? Tell him straight up. You just say, hey, what would you say? Say, you're really cute. Are you really attractive? Or you are hot. You really get my goose. Or I love you, whatever. You really. You've actually said that to her guy? You really get my goose. Yeah, they get my go. Yeah. Like anybody has said any of these things you're talking about today. Come on, dude. All right, well, we asked, but have you noticed that brooch keeps moving all over her shirt like a jaguar or something? We asked if there was any geeslings over here on the dates, and here's what they said. One of the guys said, her legs are as long as the stairway to heaven. Second guy said, I envy the lint. And in that sweet little innie. That's disgusting. Ugh, my OCD just kicked in. The third guy said, from the tips of her acrylics to the depths of her D cups, this babe is one big boing, boing, boing. Another fit, another boner joke in Dave on our staff's the boner joke writer. He gets one in every time. Good job, Dave. High five. Oh, my God, I envy the Linton. That sweet little innie. It's gotta be Milton. There you go, Milt. The first part of the night. Oh, the back hair that you get. Yeah, they give you a trinket with hair from Ben Stiller. I don't know what's going on. What are you talking about there, Milt? Well, when I first saw her, she had a pirate shirt on. And all I could see besides her beautiful breasts were that little belly button she Had a pirate shirt. What'd you guys do on your day? She had a pirate shirt on. Like, argh. That kind of pirate or what are we talking about here? We went to go to this one bar and there was a line around the door, so we said the heck with them. And we went to a real very nice posh bar next door and we had a very nice time. Except for the fact that he squeezed both my breasts together like they were cookie dough. Oh, a little sexual assault. End the date, huh? Milt? Milt Jr III. Or whatever his name. Milt Jr III. I'm a land developer. Hey, now even the host knows he went too far on that one. Sometimes the dough is better than the actual cookie. What? I don't even know. That made no sense. He's not. He's quick witted. In a weird way. Legs are as long as the stairway to heaven. Or that's gotta be the first guy. Because he talked about legs. That's right. By the way, did we just skip over the assault part of the night? Like, I mean, don't we have to follow up on that? Like, why are you grabbing her breasts like that? From the tips of her acrylics to the depths of her D cups, this babe is one big boying. Her legs are as long as the stairway to heaven. Maybe Ty. Nope. Oh, I knew it. It was the other guy. Oh, Ty. Ty's losing on all fronts. Look at Ty in the couch. He just looks like he's lost. What'd you say? I said from the tips of her acrylic. Well, we know what he said because there's only two choices. You dum dum to the depth of her D cup. This lady's one big boy. What do you mean by that? Boom. Cookie dough. Milk. That's what they felt like to me. It's that delicious tollhouse taste. Oh, my God. That's pretty funny, actually. She said soft batch cookies usually get romantic on a first date with a guy. If there's chemistry there. Yeah, if there's schmeck in there. Well, we asked the guys if there was any romance on their dates with you, and here's what they told us. One of them said, oh, let's. Yeah, good. Let's get down to the parts. The Pacific Ocean is just a puddle compared to our deep desire. Oh, okay. All right. Second guy said, our mouths fit together like a cork in a champagne bottle. Guy said, the only way I'll forget our passion is to have my brain removed. Our mouths put together like a cork in a champagne Bottle. It's Michelle. There you go. Yeah, that's right. I stuck my tongue down her throat. I showed her my underwear modeling photographs. So what did you guys do on your day? We went to a restaurant and we ended up kissing after a while. At the restaurant? Yeah. In front of everybody. And it was getting a little bit too much kissing, you know, so what you do? Well, we stopped and we went somewhere else. Where'd you go? That doesn't concern you. O. They got spicy. Wow. You're obviously not a regular viewer, Michelle. Where'd you go, Sherry? He had a hotel room, so I went there. Oh, wow. It's the whiz bang 90s kids. It is. Get after it. Get on it. Hey, listen, two consenting adults can have a good time. Right, Chrissy? Of course. I don't know. I don't oppose. I don't object, you, Honor. Nice little Tobin. No. So that's where the date ended. All right, well, you get to go again there. Pacific Ocean is just a puddle compared to our deep desire. Or the only way I'll forget our passion is to have my brain removed. The only way I'll forget our passion is to have my brain removed. Melty? Nope. And what'd you say? Melty. He. We know what he said. It's the only choice left. We don't. Geez, you don't have to repeat the dumb line four times. Hey, do me a favor. We're not saying my boner lines enough. Can we repeat him? Pacific Ocean is just a puddle compared to our deep desire. Really? What do you mean by that? Well, compared to our desire for each other, I think the Pacific Ocean is. Yeah, okay, I know it. Okay, yeah, we got it. You just repeated the line again. The same backwards before. No, we're not diagramming sentences here. We're trying to move ahead. Why were you so desirous of Sherry? Give me some reasons. Oh, the way she touches me. The way she holds me. The way she holds you? What are you two. The way she holds you. The way she holds me. I curled up. I don't know. It's just funny to hear that coming out of that man's mouth. Yeah, even she's, like, creepy. Two pretty damn good reasons. Cherry. Barry. Tracy, when you're out with a guy that you. All right, okay. Let's take a break, and then when we come back, we'll. This is a very interesting time capsule here, Chrissy. I really am enjoying this. Okay, we'll be back. Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-433-33, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos@YouTube.com thecommercial break and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian? That really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome. Hey, I'm Andy. If you don't know me, it's probably because I'm not famous. But I did start a men's grooming company called Harry's. The idea for Harry's came out of a frustrating experience I had buying razor blades. Most brands were overpriced, over designed and out of touch. At Harry's, our approach is simple. Here's our secret. We make sharp, durable blades and sell them at honest prices for as low as $2 each. We care about quality so much that we do some crazy things like buy a world class German blade factory. Obsessing over every detail means we're confident in offering 100% quality guarantee. Millions of guys have already made the switch to Harry's, so thank you if you're one of them. And if you're not, we hope you give us a try with this special offer. Get a Harry starter set with a five blade razor weighted handle, shave gel and a travel cover, all for just three bucks plus free shipping. Just go to Harry's dot com and enter code man at checkout. That's Harry's dot com code man. Enjoy. Looking to improve your diet in the new year? Try seeing a personal dietitian with Nourish. Nourish has hundreds of dietitians who specialize in a variety of health concerns, including weight loss, gut health, and more. Meet with your dietitian online and message them anytime through the Nourish app. Nourish accepts hundreds of insurance plans. 94% of patients pay $0 out of pocket. Find your personal dietitian at U's. Nourish.com that's usenourish.com all right, we're back reviewing the early 90s daytime television dating show Studs, because why not name it Studs. Get another boner joke in there. They really like to give them any signals to let them know that you're getting ready to get romantic? Yeah. What kind of signals? Yes. Touch them. Oh. Or I take their hand and put their hand. I hold them. I hold them like A baby. She said I put their hand in a place where. Let's hear that again. What kind of signals? I touch them. Oh, all right. Or I take their hand and put their hand on part of me. Or I kiss them and wait for them to kiss me and then I. So you don't mind making the first. Wow, she seems really jittery, doesn't she? She does. No, not at all. Okay. Her brooch is gone. Yeah, that brooch is gone. It went right down her shir. How to make it. Someone's got to make it. And if they may be too inhibited at the time to do it, hell, I'm going to do it. Because I'm not going to miss out on a chance of a lifetime. Chance of a lifetime. I'm sorry, young lady, I'm sure you have lots of chances of a lifetime. You're a pretty good looking girl. I'm. I don't think many guys turned you down. Well, we asked the guys about your romantic moves. I mean, one of the guys said, she whipped out her gum and she chewed my face instead. Second guy said, that mouth is more than fast. It's downright supersonic. And the third guy said, a rip here, a tear there, and lips and clothes were everywhere. Wow. Seems like. Did everybody just hook up with everybody? I think that's what goes on here. Yes. I think the premise of the show is we'll give you $100, get a motel room. Yeah. Each other and come back and tell us all about it. Go dancing, but only in innuendos. Oh, my God. A rip here and a tear there. Lips and clothes are everywhere. Has got to be Milton. Milty. There you go. Good old Milty. What's that mean, Milt? Well, what that means is we were having a pretty good time when we left the bar. And we pretty much did the streets of San Diego. You did the streets of San Diego? I'm not even. Is that lingo that I'm not understanding? I did the streets of San Diego. Your date with Milty end up Tracy? After you're driving around the city street around the corner. He jizzed on the wall of the bar for a while, then it ended up the next morning. Whoa. Yeah, because we were doing blow all night long. I'm sure of it. Funny. Yeah. Kind of sticky. Oh, Jesus Christ. I've mercy. What is going on? Oh, my God. I can't believe this thing gets censored. He poured Dr. Pepper on me. So you're part of the Pepper generation now, I suppose. She whipped out her gum and chewed my face instead. Or that mouth is more than fast. It's downright supersonic. That mouth is more than fast. It's downright supersonic. Show. No, it's not. Oh no, I missed out on that one. The poor metal guy just keeps getting shafted. And why are we not asking a follow up question about Dr. Pepper being poured on you? I mean, come on, host whatever your name is. Ambiguous host from the 90s dating shows. He looks kind of familiar. Oh, he's been. Oh, he was like a host of a bunch of these type of shows. She wiped. Tapped the gum out of her and chewed my face instead. Really? Yeah. Where were you? Well, we were in my car and we were gonna kiss and she said, hold on, wait, stop. She takes the gum out. What about this is that. We're here, I'm ready. Come on back and we're gonna find out which one of these guys. Ladies. Is gonna sing a man a lullaby. Is gonna sing a man a lullaby. Sing a man a lullaby. I don't. The writing on this show, you gotta know now is horrific. Of course we do. Judging by the re crowd, Studs was pretty popular. She's all nervous. Welcome back. All right, ladies, before the show we got these guys rounded up and they gave us some descriptions of you. You tell me who they're talking about, I'll give you a heart. How many hearts you got there, Sherry? One. And how many do you have, Tracy? Two. Woo boy. We're going to the heart bankruptcy now. We're giving them some of them away. Sherry. According to these three guys, who's most likely to have a teddy bear collection, you or Tracy? Me. She says Sherry. Guys. Sher go hold me. You get a heart with hair back hair on it. Girls have teddy bear. You got any stuffed animals at your house? No, just me. Yeah, just white snake posters on the wall, beer cans. Tracy, who's most likely to sing a man a lullaby, you or Sherry? Probably Sherry. Probably Sherry. She says. Got guys. Sherry. There you go. Hi, Michelle. Because I think Sherry is the kind of romantic person that would do that. Kind of. And would that make a big impression on you? Yeah, I guess it would. Yeah, I like to be sung too. Like a. Like a baby. Because my mom still does that to me. Every Tuesday and Thursday night I call her up and I say, hey, mom rugby baby. What song would you like to hear? What song would I like to hear? French song. French. Okay. Fairy Jack. Sherry, who's gonna iron her underpants, you or Tracy? Tracy. Tracy. Guys, Tracy's like huh. Tracy, iron your under her pants. Yeah, it's iron her under her pants because when you're high in cocaine, you do a lot of that stuff. Well, as an oil wrestler, I think those underwear would get quite a bit of airt. I wish they had a sound effect like that. Boing. Sound effect. So I could play it. Underwear. Tracy, I'm gonna tell you. All right, Tracy. All right. Who's all right? On to the next one. Don't got time. Got four of these to record today. So I got a hit on her date's best friend. You or Sherry? Oh, her for sure. Probably me. Probably me. Have you ever. Actually, no. I'd guess Sherry. Definitely. Sherry before me. Definitely. You're sure? Yeah. You're sure? Yeah. All right. She says Sherry. Guys. Tracy, you missed out on that in the front. She's dissuade you. Why, Ty? She's just an outgoing, aggressive type girl. I just think if she sees what she wants, she's gonna go get it. Uh huh. Just like I did with my hairstyle. Sherry, who's most likely, by the way, who's talking in the background? There's like a bunch of conversation going on in the background. Is there another television show being filmed in the same room? Prepare a man breakfast in bed. You or Tracy? Me. She says it's her. Guys. Sherry. There you go. Sherry, two or three. Very nice. Why Milty? The whole show. You're doing like boner innuendos and sexual conversation and I get the most milquetoast questions I've ever heard. Well, if Sherry brought me breakfast in bed, I just would never want to stop eating. Sure. Did you hear that guy in the background? Tracy, who's most likely to hide a video camera in her bedroom? Me, duh. Why? Why? Because I'm a porn star. Because I really think she has one. What's that? Because I really believe she has one. I feel like a real housey. Do you? If I did, it wouldn't be a secret anymore. And then it'd kind of blow it, wouldn't it? I don't know. Would it? I don't know. I'm a. I don't know. God, for high end or vhsc? High end. There you go. Come on back. We're going to find out which one of these ladies is the queen of all schiktaves. The queen of what? All schiktaves. I don't know. Who cares? Honestly, look at that crowd. Wow. That's A snapshot of 1991 if I've ever seen one. Hey, how are you? Welcome back. Welcome back to the first in a week long series on studs. All week long, it's Wild Women week. Yeah. What was that? It was a lion noise because the sound effects back then didn't work all that well. It was a lion. A lion noise. Come on strong there. You got four hearts. How many do you have, Trace? It's a tie. We could give away two fabulous ultimate fantasy dates. Oh, wouldn't that be special? Ultimate fantasy. Call it in the air, Cherry. It's. You're right. So you're gonna start. You tell me who you want to go. She. If he picks you, you get to go. And we pay for it automatically. Okay. Well, I didn't pick Michelle, even though it's really tough. All you guys are great, but he's very romantic. But I just. I didn't pick him. Okay? Okay. And I didn't pick Ty. And I did pick Ty because he's ugly. I didn't pick Ty even though he. He's such a gentleman. And I had a great, great time with him. But since Milty gave me the kiss of death, I picked Milty. Oh, look at Milty with that long silky hair. Is his name actually Milty or Milton? It's Milton. Okay. Milton Jr. 4th, the 3rd or something. I don't know. And what if Milty picks you? Then what? I want to go to Costa Rica. Costa Rica? You want to go to Costa Rica? What? Wow. One date and you're already off to Costa Rica. Sounds pretty cool. Toes in the sand, cocktail in the hand. You know what else could. You gotta love that. All right, Tracy, you're tied. You could go too. What's it going to be? Well, who it's not going to be? Why don't you start there? Well, it's not going to be Milton. Sorry. Aw. We had a very good time. But he also ripped my favorite pirate shop. But wait, I thought you guys ended the date in the morning. Doing the streets. Doing the streets of San Diego. I mean, what more could you ask for? You also squeezed your breasts together like a roll of play. D'oh. I don't know. Something about the cookies. I would just think that makes you look more like a real pirate. Tracy, go ahead. And Michelle, I had a wonderful time, but it seemed. I don't know. Oh, Ty. Oh, it's a Ty. Well, no one picked Milton. Oh, Ty. Yeah. Oh, I thought Ty was certainly gonna be the loser here. But until later on. But it was almost too later on. Okay. Therefore, I'm picking Ty. Ty. All right. Oh, Ty is the silent, strong type. Look at him. Disney World or back to ties? Disney World or back to ties? Both. A ticket. I'm here. He has the best cupcake. All right, Michelle, neither of the guys. Neither ladies picked you. And I don't think those guys picked you either, so you're off the hook there. Did you have a good time? Yeah, I had a good time. I had a great time, actually. Well, good. Thanks for coming down. Would you show us who you picked there, Sherry? All right, Sherry, you. You picked Milty. Milty, if you picked Sherry, you could be off on a fabulous trip to Costa Rica. I mean, you just decide where you want to go. Yeah, I guess that's it. That's what happens. They just pay for you to go somewhere. By the way, I love this show. Now can we. Yeah. I want an all expense paid trip to all of Europe. Oh, yeah. All right. They're going to Costa Rica. If you pick Tracy, not only are they going to Costa. He's pretty excited. Yeah, he does. Go to Disney World or back to your place. What's it gonna be? Going home. Anyway. Oh, shocker. He revealed that he picked neither. Wow. Okay. I think he felt like he probably wouldn't get picked and he didn't want to be. What a dumb, dumb. Everybody up, up, up, up, up, up. Say goodbye here. Nobody. I didn't see that coming. I didn't see that coming either. I didn't know neither was going to be a choice. All right, maybe we'll do another Wild woman week. You never know. That was good. I like that. All right. I didn't know what to expect there, but I. I ended up, like, going, why? I should have watched more of this as a child. I would have. This is completely mindless television that I would have enjoyed. Oh. Oh, wow. Studs. Now available everywhere on YouTube. Milty's jacket is. I know. Well, that was the style back then. Your jacket went below your butt. Now your pants don't even go all the way down to your socks. That's the style. I mean. But it'll come back. Everything always does. It'll come back. Guys will be wearing, you know, jackets down to their knees again like some ska band. I'll figure it out. That was fun. I like that. I'm glad we made that switch last minute because we would not have understood anything. And that I'll find. I'll get back to Celia Black. I'll find an episode where we can actually hear it. The thing is, is that if you can't understand it by just listening. Then it defeats the purpose of doing a podcast. Yes, that's right. See you, Black. I got a knot in my pants. All right, just a quick reminder that on May 31st, Chrissy and I will be doing Chrissy and I will be recording and publishing 12 episodes of the commercial break and what we're calling the 12 Hours of TCB, celebrating five years of the commercial break as a podcast and met mental health awareness Month for May. So tune in, mark your calendars. Looks like we're going to be doing a live recording that day. Also, we'll broadcast it on twitch and possibly YouTube. Also, April 16th, 17th and 18th, I would like you to call into the commercial break while we are recording. We will answer the phone call. You will get to choose what you talk about. Anything, everything, whatever. We'll stay on the phone as long as we can digest your conversation. As long as we like you, we'll stay on the phone. It's a little bit. I'm calling call TCP so I'll remind you about that. But 212-433-3822 212-4333 TCB questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas at the commercial break on Instagram and YouTube. YouTube.com thecommercial break for all the episodes the same day. They air here on the audio. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. Best to you and best to you out there on the podcast audience. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say good. If you don't know about flyer deals on Instacart, this message is for you. Flyer deals are like strolling through your favorite store looking for deals, but you're scrolling your phone and maybe you're in bed. Because getting delivery doesn't mean you have to miss deals like you get at the store. Like the one creamer that doesn't make your stomach hurt. Or the pasta sauce you can't not buy when it's on sale. So download the Instacart app, shop flyers and never miss a deal on one of your favorites. Plus, get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes. You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed. Stop struggling to get your job posts seen on other job sites. Indeed's Sponsored jobs help you stand out and hire fast with sponsored Jobs. Your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates so you can reach the people you want faster and it makes a huge difference. According to Indeed data, Sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed have 45% more applications than non sponsored jobs. Plus with Indeed sponsored jobs, there are no monthly subscriptions, no long term contracts, and you only pay for results. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit. To get your jobs more visibility@indeed.com listen just go to indeed.com listen right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com listen terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need. As a parent, you want to give your child every opportunity to succeed. But let's be honest, sometimes homework questions leave us stumped or we wish they had it a bit more challenging when they're ahead in class. That's where IXL learning can help. IXL is an online learning program that supports kids from Pre K to 12th grade in math, language arts, science and social studies. It's designed to help kids truly master topics while keeping learning fun and engaging. Whether your child is catching up, staying on track, or aiming to get ahead, IXL offers personalized learning to meet their needs. Plus plus it saves you time and money. No more searching for multiple tutors or programs. IXL is like having everything you need in one place. The best part? It's backed by research. Kids using IXL consistently score higher on tests, and it works for all kids, no matter their grade or learning style. IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the U.S. so you know it's the real deal. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now now and listeners of this podcast can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixlearning.com audio Visit ixllearning.com audio to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price.