NASA Is Listening...To TCB?!

Summary

The Commercial Break - Episode Summary

Podcast: The Commercial Break
Episode Title: NASA Is Listening...To TCB?!
Date: April 2, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Bryan and Krissy riff on a swirling mix of topics—from the bizarre tale of stranded astronauts and the gourmet horrors of space food to the unlikely revelation that NASA employees may actually be tuning into their “dumb dumb” podcast. True to TCB’s freestyle, chaotic spirit, the hosts also resume their gleeful roast of disgraced former Hillsong Pastor Carl Lentz's public “apology tour”. The result is classic Commercial Break: part speculative NASA fan-club, part irreverent pop culture take-down, all comedy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. NASA, SpaceX, and That Stranded Astronaut Saga

[03:19 – 09:10]

• Bryan shares excitement about the two astronauts left stuck in space for nine months, crediting SpaceX and “Trump’s intervention” for bringing them home.
• Skewers Boeing for “embarrassing” failures with their space capsule, remarking, “doors flying off, wings falling out, planes falling out of the sky, and then they can’t...make a space capsule that flies home. It’s kind of an embarrassment.” (04:03)
• Bryan fantasizes about his first post-space meal: “I’m having a fat cheeseburger with as many French fries as I can stuff down my gullet. A milkshake and some vagina.” (05:37)
• The hosts discuss the effects of zero gravity on the human body, especially “squishy” eyeballs, and have fun speculating about luxury lunar resorts: “If there’s that Moon Ritz... The Luna Ritz Ritz Luna la Luna. La Luna Ritz.” (07:45)

2. NASA Employees Are TCB Fans?!

[09:10 – 13:33]

• Bryan gets a listener text from someone who works at the Kennedy Space Center—implying TCB has listeners “at the highest levels of intellectual institute[s].”
• The hosts joke about dumbing down NASA and draw a comparison: “It’d be like that if either of us were employed in the business of sending people to space. And we’re not. We are just two dumb dumbs…” (11:44)
• Lighthearted awe in connecting with NASA: “We are a degree away from space… Seven degrees of dum dums.” (12:34)

3. Space Memories: Space Camp and Childhood Antics

[13:33 – 16:16]

• Krissy reminisces about wanting to attend Space Camp in Huntsville, Alabama; Bryan, instead, recalls gluing pizza to the ceiling and pouring pixie sticks into a hotel air conditioner.
• Bryan reflects: “If it wasn’t clear from the beginning that I was not going to be qualified to work at NASA, I’m sure they have that on my record somewhere.” (14:20)

4. Experiments in Space and the Kelly Twins Study

[16:16 – 18:05]

• They discuss the mission purpose: “There’s no purpose to being in space except to determine if we can, in fact... make a life up there in space.”
• They recount the experiment with the identical twin astronauts, Mark and Scott Kelly, as a clever NASA-controlled experiment.

5. Isolation—Costa Rica vs. ISS

[18:05 – 20:23]

• Bryan compares his own restless spell “stuck” in the Costa Rican jungle to what astronauts must feel after nine months in space.
• “By week number three, I was feeling a little bit like this. I’m ready. I’m restless. I want to get home. I want to be at my home.” (19:22)

6. Pop Culture and the Coming Astronaut Movie

[20:23 – 22:04]

• The inevitable Hollywood treatment of the stranded astronauts’ story: “George Clooney and Sandra Bullock—part two of Stuck in Space or whatever.”
• Krissy wishes for a “full blown documentary,” to which Bryan assures her, “HBO’s on that. That’ll be out in a year.” (21:00)

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Feature: Carl Lentz, Apology Tour & TCB Satire

[22:04 – 53:38]

7. Carl Lentz Roast, Part II (“Let It Go, Lentz”)

• Bryan and Krissy resume their signature lampooning of ex-Hillsong pastor Carl Lentz, parodying his podcast apology sessions and tendency toward buzzword bingo.
• Frequent impersonations poke fun at Carl’s grandiosity and self-pity, e.g.:
  • “Letting it go was not easy.”
  • “It was the not letting go part that was hard. That’s where I got in some trouble. That’s when I got a little revved up. High on coffee, full of semen. I needed to let it go. As Elsa would say, let it go. Let it blow.” (26:49-27:12)

8. Acknowledging Mental Health & Taking Responsibility

• Bryan steps out of character briefly to acknowledge the seriousness of Carl’s suicidal ideation: “Taking your own life is nothing to be joking about. And I can understand that there is a sense of desperation when you feel out of control and you’ve made bad decisions and other people are suffering because of it. I empathize. I really do.” (30:43)

9. Media Frenzy and the Limits of Apologies

• The hosts express skepticism about Carl’s claims of silence:
  “We did make a deal with Disney/Max.com, Hulu, SiriusXM and Spotify to do a number of documentaries. …But that was it. Besides The Sun, The Globe, Washington Post, New York Times, my own blog, my vlog, this new podcast, and Logan Paul’s video cat.” (02:35, repeated at 33:55)
• Bryan: “I think his bank account is emptying quickly. How can I get back on the gravy train? By apologizing and telling everyone I have a new mission.” (22:27)

10. Responsibility — or Deflection?

• The hosts skewer Carl’s evasive language:
  • Krissy: “Why don’t you come out and say it? I’ll never cheat on you again. I lie to you. I cheated on you, the whole situation, quote, unquote.” (41:08)
  • Bryan: “You had to do the yoga instructor. Did you really? That you met randomly at a park.” (43:46)

11. Meta, Self-Aware TCB-Style Closure

• After Carl’s long-winded “living amends” spiel, Bryan calls out the “buzzwords over and over”:
  • “I think you made your point. Now tell us the details. Show us pictures.” (49:11)
  • On the self-importance of documentary confessions: “I want to try and empathize…but this isn’t like, you know, this isn’t 9/11. …Maybe you should be apologizing [for the scammy church] and not so much focusing on…your image.” (36:09-37:56)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bryan (on Boeing’s woes):
  “Doors flying off, wings falling out, planes falling out of the sky, and then they can’t even get the thing to fly home. It’s kind of an embarrassment.” (04:03)

• Krissy (on why NASA employees listen to TCB):
  “Sometimes it’s like me watching the Housewives, you know—I just want to tune out, not care. Watch something stupid. And that’s, you know, entertaining.” (11:28)

• Bryan (on being in the “sphere of influence”):
  “I am definitely feeling, I don’t know, a sense of...a little pep in your step. A sense of achievement, a sense of accomplishment, that someone who is much, much smarter than I am…is listening.” (12:56)

• Bryan, channeling Carl Lentz:
  “It’s hard looking at just the same tits night after night after night. And that’s not the way the Lord has taught us, said thou shalt have variety in the nipples and the nav.” (25:38)

• On Space Camp Gone Wrong:
  “If it wasn’t clear from the beginning that I was not going to be qualified to work at NASA, I’m sure they have that on my record somewhere.” (14:20)

• On Space Missions:
  “There’s no purpose to being in space except to determine if we can, in fact, carve our lot...to make a life up there in space longer than whatever.” (16:01)

• On Apologies & Blame:
  Krissy: “Who is at fault? Who is at fault in this whole situation?”
  Carl Lentz: “Yeah, yeah, I’m at fault. I’m at fault.” (42:02-42:21)

• On Personal Growth (Satire):
  “Bad penis. Bad penis. Carl’s penis has been a bad penis...Stay in that mirror. Look in that mirror. Oh yeah.” (46:35-46:44)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |---------------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:19–09:10 | Stranded Astronauts, NASA, SpaceX, Boeing criticism | | 09:10–13:33 | A NASA employee out themselves as a TCB fan, hosts react | | 13:33–16:16 | Space Camp and childhood antics | | 16:16–18:05 | Astronaut experiments, Kelly twins discussion | | 18:05–20:23 | Comparing space isolation to being stuck in Costa Rica | | 20:23–22:04 | Hollywood’s inevitable take on the astronaut return | | 22:04–53:38 | Roast and analysis of Carl Lentz’s apology tour and media machinations | | 36:09, 37:56 | Sincere critique of Hillsong/neo-Christian church model and Carl’s response | | 42:02–42:21 | Direct question: “Who is at fault?” and Carl’s answer | | 46:35–46:44 | “Bad penis” bit—highlight of TCB’s irreverent style | | 53:38–54:49 | Wrap, discussion of Bieber/Diddy rumors, legal proceedings, and return to TCB community plugs |

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Episode Tone & Takeaway

The episode is irreverent, meta-aware, and jam-packed with quick tangents, parodies, and left turns. Bryan and Krissy’s banter lampoons both themselves and their chosen targets—never losing sight of comedy even as they sprinkle in sincere asides (about mental health, NASA’s real achievements, or the pitfalls of modern celebrity church culture).
At its heart, this is an episode about unlikely connections (NASA nerds loving TCB!), absurdity at every level (from spaceship cuisine to collapsed spiritual empires), and the hosts’ ongoing, very human skepticism about public redemption arcs.

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Best For:
Listeners who enjoy improv comedy, media satire, and caustic commentary on headline-grabbing news stories—and who don’t mind a wild ride through space, scandal, and memeable podcast lore.

Transcript

[Announcer]

And welcome back to WSHIT. It's 3:33 on the crabapple yoni massage and counseling studio clock Crab apple yoni massage and counseling. We'll rub it out while you work it out. Exciting news today for local girl rock group Tina and the subservience. For the third week in a row, Tina and the subservience have maintained their position of number 143 on the east Upchuck county religion music and podcast chart. When reached for comment, Tina said, I have to talk to the church elders. This marks the third time Tina and the subservience have been on the East Upchuck county religious music and podcast charts, this time for their brand new single, dangerous loaf of bread. Let's take a listen to a clip now.

[Brian Green]

You're dangerous loaf of bread? You're dangerous loaf of bread savior and dangerous loaf of bread Keep rolling, rolling, rolling. Don't you know the enemy? He hates to see us coming. Cause we're just wild enough to do stuff like dangerous loaf of bread. And we tell him we gonna keep rolling right over your head. And maybe you need to add that.

[Chrissy]

To it.

[Brian Green]

Just like this. Hey, I'm a dangerous sl.

[Announcer]

A representative for the all female music group said that Tina and the subservience are planning a new album and a tour of the wider southern Crab Apple township. Residents are advised to get your tickets quickly as last year's tour sold out in just minutes. Can you smell what the the Lord is cooking? We'll be back after this commercial break. On this episode of the commercial break.

[Chrissy]

We'Ve been really quiet for the most part. We did do the Hulu documentary.

[Carl Lentz]

That's all.

[Chrissy]

That's all we did.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

We did make a deal with Disney/Max.com Hulu, Hulu, SiriusXM and Spotify to do a number of documentaries. Chrissy. But that was it. Besides the sun, the Globe, Washington Post, New York Times, my own blog, my vlog, this new podcast, and Logan Paul's video cat.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

I mean, that's quiet.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

Hey, listen, keep it quiet for me. That's quiet for me. That's quiet.

[Announcer]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, boy.

Oh, yeah.

[Carl Lentz]

And kittens.

[Brian Green]

Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris Joy Hoadley. Best you, Chris.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Best you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. How the hell are you? You know, we haven't had a chance to talk about this yet and it's way after the Fact. Now, if you heard it here last on the commercial break, as you always do, I just might let you know that, that if you're listening, you're hearing information you heard already. The two astronauts stuck in space for almost nine months have had an opportunity to return home to planet of origin here on Earth. And thanks to SpaceX, I mean, there's no other way to put that. Even NASA said without Trump's intervention and Elon, those two would have probably not gotten home for a long time because there were no scheduled rocket launches, no scheduled rescue bowl, I don't know, vehicles to go up there and get them down. And that fucking Boeing piece of shit is still floating around up there, stuck on the space station. Unbelievable. I mean, what a bad string of luck for Boeing. I mean, I just guess they're bad at what they do now, but doors flying off, wings falling out, planes falling out of the sky, and then they can't. They get billion, billion billion dollar contracts from the government to make a space capsule and they can't even get the thing to fly home. It's kind of an embarrassment. But, you know, in this case, I will give it to Trump and to Elon. They got somebody up there to drive them home, I guess an Uber up.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

To pick them up.

[Brian Green]

Uber up to the iss. Yeah. And now they're back home, frailer than they were before. After nine months in space, everything changes. Your body, your eyeball structure changes. Did you know that?

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

I did not.

[Brian Green]

So gravity helps to keep the shape of your eyes. So when there is no gravity, your eyes change shape because the fluid around it and they're just kind of squishy, textured, so they change, the eyes change shape. So when you get back down to Earth and then gravity's pulling on your eyeballs again, some people have trouble seeing, like, clearly, and so it takes them a while for that eyeball to get that shape back. So there's all kind of consequences to being up in space for that long. No surprise there. I mean, when you don't have gravity, it's just much easier on everything. And. But what's the first thing you are eating when you get back?

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Oh, a big steak and some mashed potatoes.

[Brian Green]

I'm having a fat cheeseburger with as many French fries as I can stuff down my gullet. A milkshake and some vagina.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

An entire bottle of wine.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. For you, an entire bottle of wine. For me, a whole box of cream and cereal. Yeah. I'm going on a run. I'm going on an epic run. I'm putting that weight back on immediately because I can only imagine that the worst part about being stuck in space besides not knowing if you're ever gonn to your planet is not being able to eat anything that tastes like anything. That space food I don't think has gotten much better.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

I don't know. It's so funny you mentioned that because I saw a whole thing about it a while back on space food and there's you know, a whole science behind it and they, they have all kinds of people working on it to try and make the space food the best that they can. Because it's got to be like freeze dried, right?

[Brian Green]

It's just gotta be awful. Yeah, it's all freeze dried. You can't have like liquidy stuff up there, nothing with juices in it because then the juice flies everywhere. So everything' got to be freeze dried. And while I'm sure that they've gotten better at the taste of things, the texture of things is probably not very good. If you're going to have a. I, maybe they have hamburgers but they're completely dry dried out. It's just all got to be gross at the end of the day. And you can only take so much of that. It's not like they have a chef up there preparing meals. You're eating a certain variety of food and you're eating it over and over again. Thank God for that ISS or they would have been. Those two would have been like. That is my nightmare about space kids. There it is, right there is that we get up there and then in some interstellar weird situation, 150 years has passed by before I get to come home to Earth and everybody's much older than I am. Like that's the weird shit that goes on in space that I'm not cool with. I We're not there yet. We're not there. Space travel is not common. It's not like taking a cruise or a train or a plane when we get there. If we get there in my lifetime than possibly I would consider it if it was something that had been done hundreds of thousands or millions of times more mainstream. Yeah. And there's like a Ritz Carlton up there, you know what I'm saying? Like there's like an indoor pool and gravity and a chef to cook you meals.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

If there's that Moon Ritz.

[Brian Green]

The Moon. The Ritz a la Moon. The Luna Ritz Ritz Luna la Luna. La Luna Ritz. If there's one of those up there and they figured out the gravity Thing and the food thing and everything else. And not having my eyeball change into a weird shape and not being able to see. When I get home, I already can't see. If I go up to space, I'm fucked. I'm coming home blind.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Maybe that would change it to where you could see.

[Brian Green]

Hey, listen. Some people might think that way. I know for me it would be the exact opposite. That I, in fact, would be fucked. That I would have no sight when I got home. Okay, so that's, you know, that was exciting news. I watched the splashdown. I saw them take them out of the capsule and all that. I thought that was very big deal. Yeah, it's a big deal. And I felt happy for them. And so right around that time, I get a text message on our hotline here. And that text message has a picture of a picture of those two astronauts. As that news is, you know, the news is they're coming home. We're going to get them back down. Right before the. You know, maybe a week before they actually splash down. I get a picture of a picture of those two astronauts. It's a picture of them, like on a wall. And somebody who's been writing us for a while says, here, check out these two. I pass by them every day on my way to the bathroom. And I'm like, well, let me respond to this one personally because I want to understand exactly what kind of office you're working in where you have pictures of astronauts near the bathroom.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Were they like headshots?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, headshots, yeah. Of them, like in their space gear, but, you know, with the helmet off and, you know, the traditional space headshot. You know, the one that every astronaut in the history of ever has ever had. You know what I'm talking.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

You're in the suit.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

No bubble.

[Brian Green]

No bubble head. And the suits have gotten prettier, I.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

Will give them that.

[Brian Green]

They have managed to get those. Those suits now just look like a jumper, essentially. How they keep space out, I'm not sure, but I don't want any space in my suit, in my spacesuit, I want no space. You know what I'm saying? But anyway, so I think to myself, well, either this guy works in a place where they really like space, or he has some important job where they have pictures of astron dots on the wall. Let me respond directly. And since I've talked to him before, I say, hey, man, why exactly do you have pictures of these two near your bathroom? And he says, because I work at the Kennedy Space center, that's why. And I'm like, you work for NASA.

[Chrissy]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

Yes, I do. Well, you may be a little excited that you're talking to Brian from the commercial break. Why? I have no idea. I mean, you know, I'm just a dude, but I am extra excited that I am talking to an actual rocket engine. Like a, you know, a guy who helps people go to space.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

That's amazing. I'm so excited about this. And I really was. I was like fanboying a little bit. I'm like, wow, a NASA person is actually listening to the commercial break. To which I reply, well, there's a first for every. I mean, you know, I'm like paraphrasing here. There's a first for everything. You must be the first person in the history of the commercial break that works at NASA and is listening to the commercial break. To which he responds, probably not. I think I know differently. And I don't want to get into all the details because I don't want, you know, I don't know if he wants to be known or doesn't want to be known, but I suspect there may be some fans of ours working at NASA. And to which I say, what in the good fuck is going on at NASA that there are commercial break fans working at the highest levels of intellectual institute? Do you know what I'm saying?

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

There should be rules around this.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

It's amazing. Well, you know, sometimes it's like me watching the Housewives, you know, I want to just tune out, not care. Watch something stupid. And that's, you know, entertaining.

[Brian Green]

Yes. I would say, Chrissy.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

And I think that's like, what this.

[Brian Green]

Is no knock on you. And the point is taken it. And I would say, yes. It's like Brian tuning in to seven Little Johnson's while he's editing the show. Correct. Just to have some noise on in the background and see if I can hear something interesting. It would be like that if either of us were employed in the business of sending people to space. And we're not. We are just too dumb dumb. I mean, I'm a dumb dumb. You're relatively smart, but I'm a dumb dumb editing a podcast that no one gives a shit about except for maybe a few people at NASA. Question mark. I mean, that is just like, to me, that's really exciting stuff. I go to bed thinking to myself, wow, we did it.

[Carl Lentz]

We did it.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Connecting. We're somehow, you know, like seven degrees of Kevin Bacon. We are a degree away from space.

[Carl Lentz]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Seven degrees of dum dums. Yes. Seven degrees of dum dums. At which point.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Three degrees.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You reach someone intelligent is in that seven degrees. That's right. I'm excited because someone with intelligence has reached our, our sphere of influence here. That's crazy. I am definitely feeling, I don't know, a sense of.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

A little pep in your stuff.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I got a little pep in my stuff. A sense of achievement, a sense of accomplishment that someone who is much, much smarter than I am and probably actually went to school and paid attention is, you know, listening to our show and enjoying it. I think that's great. I think it's great. So to the NASA employees out there who are listening to the show or employee, however many of you there are, I will tell you that we love your mission, we are honored. I am all about it. And even though you will never catch me putting on one of those spacesuits with no space, I will tell you right now that I appreciate what you're doing because I think it is important. I do think space exploration is important.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Oh my God. 100%. You know, did you ever. I wanted, I always wanted to go to Space Camp, but I didn't. I went to that one that's over in Huntsville, right?

[Brian Green]

Huntsville, Alabama. Space Camp, which a lot of my friends went to for the summer.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Like the month long, you know, your parents pay $10,000 and you, you know, do the thing. But apparently that not only. I don't think, I don't know if it exists anymore. I'm sure in some form or fashion it does. But apparently not only was that fun for the kids, but in some cases could help to fast track you to a, to a space program. Like you could go work at NASA. That was one of the things you could put on your resume that would say, hey, listen, I'm interested in working here. I went to Space Camp. Now, I don't know how many kids that went to Space Camp actually became astronauts, but I'm sure there's a few. There's got to have been a few, right? Throughout the years, I never went to Space Camp, but I went to the Huntsville Space center. And that is where I stuck a pizza onto the ceiling and poured 320 pixie sticks into the hotel air conditioner room and made everybody three and a half hours a little late because I had to clean it. So I think if it wasn't clear from the beginning that I was not going to be qualified to work at NASA. I'm sure they have that on my record somewhere. It's got to be on my Record somewhere. But we did go. And we did get to do with a few. A few of the things. I think we were there for two days and we did get to do some of the things that you would do in space camp. Ride that twirly whirly thing, you know, which I remember was not a pleasant feeling, particularly. It was like, you know, and we were kids, I think they were giving us the kid version of the ride. But that thing, you know, the circular thing where they spin you around in all kinds of different directions. I do remember vaguely being in that. And I do remember it not being a pleasant feeling, because of course it's not. You're just throwing your lunch all over the place. And while I love rides, roller coasters, any of that stuff, get me on it tomorrow. I love it. But that. I don't think I felt like it was a pleasant feeling. What else did we do? I think we got to go in, like a simulated space shuttle and, you know, press the buttons, stuff like that. We got to put on some of the gear. We got to look at the. You know, they always had to put you through the boring part too, where you look at what they actually do in space with experiments.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Brian Green]

I just wanted the fun stuff. Rocket, rocket ride up, rocket ride down. That's what I wanted to be a part of. But then I had to go through the boring stuff to get there, too. So, you know, never.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Experiments. That's like the main mission.

[Brian Green]

Experiments. It's the only mission of those things. And to release, you know, secret CIA spy satellites. That's it. That's the only thing that they do. There's no purpose to being in space except to determine if we can, in fact, carve our lot. You know, carve a way to make a life up there in space longer than whatever.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

What, what.

[Brian Green]

What's the current record? 165. I mean, 390 days or something like that.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Something like that. I do know that people have been up there for over a year.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And I think that guy. One of the senators. Don't we have a senator?

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Yeah, it was two twins.

[Brian Green]

Mark Kelly.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Yeah, the Kelly twins.

[Brian Green]

Mark Kelly and John Kelly, I think.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Yeah, yeah, the Kelly twins both went up and that was another experiment. Because they're twins.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

And they wanted to see if.

[Brian Green]

One down, one up. Yeah.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

How space, you know, reacted.

[Brian Green]

Whatever, you know, how it affected their. One of them they monitored down here on Earth. One was up in space for over a year. And then they determined how. Because they're Identical twins. Theoretically, everything is exactly the same. I mean, not theoretically. Scientifically, they're exactly the same. So they get to determine. They get to have a control model and an experiment model, and they get to figure all that out, which is pretty smart when you think about it. See, this is why those guys at NASA shouldn't be listening to the commercial break. We don't want to dumb you down. We need you to be at your sharpest. Maybe that's why that Boeing space capsule is still up there, is because everyone at the Kennedy Space Center's tuning into the commercial break and not paying attention to their jobs. Now, listen, I know that's not NASA, that's Boeing. So if there's any Boeing employees that are listening to me, please do me a favor, turn us off and pay attention to what you're doing. We need those doors on that airplane. And I'm sure we have a few Boeing employees that listen to us. That's a big, huge company. But, yeah, I'm flattered that someone at NASA would listen to us. I'm excited that those two astronauts have made their way back down to Earth. I'm really excited, actually. I'm, like, genuinely excited for them because I know what a great feeling that must be.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

And they kept. I feel like everybody kept trying to downplay it, like, oh, no, no, it's okay. And we'll just keep experimenting and doing things up here.

[Brian Green]

But. But, yes, but, yes. You know, I one time went to Costa Rica for like a month, month and a half.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And I thought this was gonna be the best time of my life. And it was, in a lot of ways. But after week number three, Ish, I was like, why did I do a.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

Month and a half?

[Brian Green]

You know what I'm saying? Like, I got a apartment at the. I got people there I love. I got things I could be doing, you know, And I'm stuck there because at that time, I didn't. I was young, and I didn't know how I could call and change my arrangements. You know what I'm saying?

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

They didn't have.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Is that part of the time when.

[Brian Green]

We went, we went and I stayed for three and a half weeks, and you were there for a week. So I was there for two weeks after you were. I know that wasn't the time, but I. I was there for a longer period of time at one point. Yeah. And listen, I loved the people I was with. I loved where I was at. But I was in the jungle of Costa Rica. I wasn't like, in some, you Know, resort down in Puntarenas or something like that. Punta Arenas. I don't think that punch your anus. I wasn't down there at punch Uranus. I was up in the middle of nowhere with satellite Internet service, which just to let you know, you could.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Sucks.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And this was like 15 years ago, so you could stream a movie, but everybody had to be asleep and everything else had to be turned off. And then you had to buffer. Like you had to load it for an hour before you could watch it. But what I'm saying is that I really enjoyed in the moment what I was doing. But by week number three, I was feeling a little bit like this. I'm ready. Yeah, I'm restless. I want to get home. I want to be at my home. And it took me another three weeks to get there. Nine months. And some people will say these are the best in breed. They've been trained to do this.

[Announcer]

There's no emergency.

[Brian Green]

There's lots of food and oxygen and rest and water and all that other stuff. They're in no danger whatsoever. I'm sorry. The second you leave the ground, you are in danger. No matter what vehicle you're in, you're in danger.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Because they were going for a short amount of time too.

[Brian Green]

Like two weeks, something like a week.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Two weeks, something like that. Nine.

[Brian Green]

Nine months. Nine months. And I don't care how steely eyed these, these commanders were, you have.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

There's gonna be a movie made. I'm so.

[Brian Green]

Of course there is. There's gonna be a movie made. George Clooney. And George Clooney.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Can he do that again? I guess he could.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, sure. George Cooney, Sandra Bullock and Part two of Stuck in Space or whatever that was.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Now I want a full blown documentary done with.

[Brian Green]

Oh, the documentary is coming quick and everything. HBO's on that. That'll be out in a year. Don't worry about it. Netflix, hbo, yeah, Hulu. Somebody's gonna. Somebody's gonna be on that. But I want the dramatic retelling of like a Groundhog Day for nine months where they keep telling you, don't worry, we're fixing the jet engines, the propulsion or whatever. And then they keep just like, you know, stringing you along. You're getting increasingly anxious and nervous. It's gonna be a great movie. It's gonna be the real Groundhog Day. And I just, I feel glad that they're home and I hope they're having cheeseburgers. And best to you, best two astronauts who were probably listening to us in space. I would Imagine. Yeah, why not? All right. Last week, before we had TCB infomercial Tuesday. Last Friday, Chrissy and I started to dig into Carl Lentz from Hillsong's church. His triumphant return. His big apology tour has started. He's got his new podcast, and he has decided that with his wife sitting in the room, he is going to tell all of us how they are going to move forward from the tragedy. He had the balls to call it a tragedy. The tragedy.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

And that he just wants to forget it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, well, of course he does. He brought it on himself. But let us all think it's a tragedy. As if, you know, a hurricane came straight swooping his dick into a random babysitter. Don't think that's how it happened, but okay. And listen, I want to say this. I believe in second chances. I think we all make mistakes. I've made a lot in my life. I'll make many more.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

And.

[Brian Green]

And I'll apologize in advance. I'm sorry. I'm just feeling like this is not the most sincere of apologies. I think Carl needs money, and he sees that that bank account is empty, emptying quickly. How can I get back on the gravy train? By apologizing and telling everyone I have a new mission. To walk with the Lord and. Yeah, strap in or strap on. Carl's back. He's gonna have a new church in no time.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Strap on your Bieber hat.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I'm gonna strap on this Bieber hat. Carl Ince is gonna make his triumphant return to the commercial break after just two days gone. He's gonna make his triumphant return. So let's get that teed up, and we'll be back to continue our conversation with Carl Lentz.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

More like Carl conversing with himself.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's not even. He's telling his wife what to say, basically. But anyway. Well, you'll say more. We'll get into it.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the Show. Leave us a message at 212-433. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now. I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

Okay, here we are again with Carl Lentz, our good friend from the Hillsong church. Best friends with Bieber for a period of time. He was caught preaching on a full dick, as I like to say, with his hard sword of the Lord and a couple of lovely ladies. Yes, Victory V. And a yoga instructor and a babysitter. And dropping cash at somebody's mom's house to make sure she didn't talk. There's a lot of shenanigans going on with Carl, and he got caught. And he's explained on Friday, you can go back and listen to it. He's explained the moment when it all went down and where they were and how they got there. Nowhere to go, nowhere to go. They got kicked out of the house they were staying at. I imagine somebody regarding somebody had to do that.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Had somebody famous.

[Brian Green]

Somebody famous or somebody had to do at the church was not having it. They did not want all that kind of drama in front of their apartment or their condo. So now we are getting to the point where Carl's having a conversation with his wife. His wife is asking some questions to Carl, and Carl is then telling her what to ask, when to ask it, how to ask it, because that's what you do. Oh, let me get my phone out here to make sure that if Carl calls, we've got it.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

Hey, girl. Hey, Christine.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

What's up, Carl?

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

Well, I just gotta say it's been a long time since I had an opportunity to preach to the fairer sex. And also, it's hard looking at just the same tits night after night after night. And that's not the way the Lord has taught us, said thou shalt have variety in the nipples and the nav. And the good word of the Lord preaches it to us. But I got this girl, my wife, she's just not understanding of the Bible right now because, you know, I did accidentally slip and jizz all over the babysitter. And so I just. I Don't know how to say this and make sure that I'm in touch and in step with all that God has given us. Can I see your tits? Send me a picture. I'll send you a Venmo you over a couple dollars. Thanks, Chrissy. Tell Jeff I said hello. He's going to heaven if you send me a picture of the tits.

[Carl Lentz]

Letting it go was not easy.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it was easy.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

It was the not letting go part that was hard. That's where I got in some trouble. That's when I got a little revved up. High on coffee, full of semen. I needed to let it go. As Elsa would say, let it go. Let it blow. All right, let's. Well, let me get back to my apology. I'll call you later, Chris.

[Carl Lentz]

But I got some. Some advice that I still tell people to this day. I still apply it to my own life, by the way.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

This is.

[Carl Lentz]

We're not going to be the PODC of the people that have arrived and know everything. We're the people that are on a journey of healing. But he said, carl, you got to let the rain fall. Because I remember calling my friend, going, this isn't fair. Like, at some point, we got to step up, and at some point we got to say something. At some point we have to.

[Brian Green]

This isn't fair.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

I was gonna say, yeah, it's not fair to your wife and family. That's for sure.

[Brian Green]

It's not fair to the. By some accounts, millions of people who are tuning in, showing up at your church, giving you guys money, you know, dancing to the techno beat of the Lord. I don't know what you guys were doing over that church. Bieber and Haley and all those people who it's not fair to is the people that you were standing up there preaching about all the piety that you needed everyone else to adhere to while you were living the rock star lifestyle. It was hypocrisy. That's what wasn't fair. I don't care about the. I mean, I don't care about the cheating, because it didn't happen to me. I don't think you did right by your wife or your kids, but that's my own personal moral compass. It's the part where you tell everybody else to do something, but you refuse to adhere to that yourself. It's hypocrisy.

[Carl Lentz]

Share our side. He said, it doesn't matter right now. You got to let all the rain fall. And if the rain falls and it.

[Brian Green]

Hits the ground, blaming on the rain. Yeah, yeah.

[Carl Lentz]

And eventually, if it stays long enough, it will produce new life, new growth. That rain in this crisis, it's part of the process, and you have to.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

Let it fall, let it rain, and it will grow. And it is growing, Chrissy, and that is why I'm calling upon you today. First of all, 1995 plus 1995 shipping and handling, and you get access to my new app called letitgolents.com and then also, there you go. You. You get a discount if you allow me inside your universe. And by universe, I mean uterus. And that's just. That's how we do it here at Let it go length, which is hard.

[Chrissy]

That was hard for you because your natural. Yeah, your personality is to fight. It's to protect. It's to justify. It's to do all of that. So this was really a hard thing for you to do. I was okay, because I'm like, I just wanted to hide. So you also said you were in trouble. You were in big, like, deep trouble. Can you explain that a little bit more? Because for some people, they're probably like.

[Carl Lentz]

What does that mean when I say in trouble? I think I was. I was at the end of a spiral, a cycle of decisions that I had been making, and I felt like I wanted to take my own life. And I told you that I didn't know what to do about it, but I knew it was serious. And I think there was, like, two. Two parts of me. One part of me was just like, I just want to go. I just want to leave. I don't want to be here. I'm so embarrassed. I'm humiliated. My family is in this way because of me, and I was in a really, really bad way. I felt like it was. I didn't know what the next hour was going to hold.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

Send $19.95 to Carl. Lance, let it go. Lance.

[Brian Green]

Now listen. Taking your own life is nothing to be joking about. And I can understand that there is a sense of desperation when you feel out of control and you've made bad decisions and other people are suffering because of it. I empathize. I really do. I honestly do. I empathize with this moment, this thing that he's saying. I think he's being sincere when he says.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Then he just put his gold chains and his other jacket back on.

[Brian Green]

That's right. Spend another 38 minutes on the highest setting in your tanning bed at the house, and then get out of it. Put on your gold chains, and let's start a podcast.

[Carl Lentz]

So for me, that to be at that level of fear was really dangerous. And I think by the grace of God, you know, we had some people step in and help us and point to. Point to a plan. And I remember right early on just saying, here I'm gonna put my life in the care of some men that have not chosen to leave. They're gonna stay, and I'm gonna.

[Brian Green]

You mean a PR company. That's what you mean, right, Carl? Because I'm pretty sure that's what you're saying without saying it. So men that have chosen not to leave because they're getting paid to do so, your agent, your attorney, your manager, that's who you count on in these moments. Every celebrity does. If you don't get dropped by them, that's. But a cheating scandal, you know, that's for a PR company. That's a Tuesday morning, right.

[Carl Lentz]

Try to figure out what to do. And we're going to go bit by bit. And it was newspaper by church. We made.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Newspaper by newspaper, church by church.

[Carl Lentz]

To be quiet all this time. So worth it because of where I feel like we sit today. And you cannot heal and fight at the same time. So I've seen now from this view, I've seen other people do it their way, where people are always fighting. And I think to myself, how many Instagram posts can you put up? How many subtweets can you subtweet? How many people can you attack with your side of the story? And I was like, I get it. I relate to it. Yeah, but how can you heal? How do you. How do you heal? If you're always moving, if you're always fighting, if you're always swinging, how in the world can you ever figure out what's wrong with you?

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

What was his side of the story? I mean, it's pretty cut and dry. He cheated and he lied.

[Brian Green]

And I.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

This tragedy happened to our family, Chrissy, because I. A lot of women that were not my wife and some that may or may not have been part of the church. Chrissy. I had a lot of men that didn't decide to leave me that I paid a lot of money to to get to advise me to shut your trap and zip up that. Zip up those jeans and be quiet. And I took most of their advice. Tit pics back up.

[Carl Lentz]

I'm so glad. I'm grateful. I didn't get it at the time. I hated it at the time. It was so hard. Now I look back, and if I would have spent any time defending myself or trying to figure out some way to salvage our image. There's no way I would have been able to get help because I would have focused on that.

[Chrissy]

We've been really quiet for the most part. We did do the Hulu documentary.

[Carl Lentz]

That's all.

[Chrissy]

That's all we did.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

We did make a deal with Disney Plus, Max.com, hulu, SiriusXM and Spotify to do a number of documentaries. Chrissy. But that was it. Besides the sun, the Globe, Washington Post, New York Times, my own blog, my vlog, this new podcast, and Logan Paul's.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Video cat, I mean, that's quiet.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

Hey, listen, for me, that's quiet. For me, that's quiet. That's quiet. I also did another babysitter on a couple dances. Listen, you can take the lens out of the pants, but you can't take the pants out of the lens. You know what I'm saying?

[Chrissy]

Do you regret doing that? Would you have changed it in terms of, like, feeling like we were maybe a bit too soon or, like, shouldn't have said it? I don't know.

[Carl Lentz]

What do you think? We had so many opportunities to do interviews, and I remember thinking, after we got through that first season, I'm thinking, I don't know when, by the way.

[Brian Green]

To be fair, the commercial break included. I reached out to Lance and I got no response.

[Carl Lentz]

Yeah, we're ever going to be able to speak on this, the right time will come. And we were approached about the documentary. I don't know if I would do it again. I think my motive was to feel understood.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Carl Lentz]

That's honest.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And the money. Yeah, I'm, you know, they got paid. You know, they got paid 100 grand, 150 grand, something like that.

[Carl Lentz]

We did it.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Carl Lentz]

And that's never a good motive. Like my overriding thing. I said other things. I was like, we can do it for this. We want to do it for that. But if I really, really search my own soul, we did that so people would understand. What I realized afterwards is that it's not going to work. It doesn't matter. There are people who are not. They don't want to understand. And there's people who do want to understand. We can't change their minds. I can't change anybody's mind.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

That documentary. I don't remember, like, understanding anything different.

[Brian Green]

I didn't understand.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Trying to make himself more personable, I think.

[Brian Green]

Well, the documentary he's talking about is the Hillsong documentary, too. Yeah, There was a couple, and he, He. He played a very bit part in it. It was not an extensive Interview.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And he didn't say anything revealing necessarily, except to say that he fucked up and that he was, you know, licking his wounds and that Hillsong had a good mission or whatever and he didn't know about Brian Hillsong's bullshit or Brian whoever's bullshit. But I will, you know, again, I want to try and empathize a little bit. I don't want to sound like the coldest heart in the world. I, I get it, you went through a tough time, but this isn't like, you know, this isn't 9 11. You can go through some huge tragedy that happened to you that was befallen upon you. You were part of a rather scammy, scuzzy version of neo Christianity that takes money and has a bunch of people who are of certain ilk, looking a certain way, acting a certain way, hip with the kids, you know, muscle bound, leather clad, makeup on, you know, designer glasses, famous friends to try and convince people to come in the door so that they can get all hyped up on music that is pre produced to make you feel a certain way, open your wallet and make other people rich. And you were at the top of that food chain. And maybe that's what you should be apologizing about and maybe not so much focusing on. Yeah, you're worried about your image or you seem to be worried about your image when maybe you should be worried about the relationship that you guided people to have with a misguided version of God and religion. Maybe that's what you should be apologizing about. But I don't think that's going to happen because I think he needs to go back to that. Well, that's my interpretation of what's going on. I don't know that to be the truth. I don't know what's in his head or his heart, but I would imagine. And Carl's forging a path back to the pulpit because there's a lot of money in the pit.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Oh, well's deep.

[Brian Green]

Oh yes it is.

[Carl Lentz]

And so I look back, I wouldn't change, I wouldn't regret it because I didn't know then I thought this is going to be an objective documentary which isn't ever going to happen. I think that the producers tried to be as honest as they could with it, but we didn't control it.

[Chrissy]

No.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

We didn't know what they were putting it. They didn't. We didn't know who they were talking to, none of it, what any of it was about. We just knew that our story was going to be like a overarching situation.

[Carl Lentz]

It was going to be left alone because we had said we don't want our story to be attached to a narrative about how somebody else is bad or whatever. And you know what? People made it what they wanted to make it. But I learned in that moment of watching people talk about us, some stuff was true. A lot of it's not true, which we could talk about. I know for myself, the thing that I realized is if you don't want for people to lie about you, don't put yourself in a position to be lied about.

[Brian Green]

Right?

[Carl Lentz]

And I started, well, how do you do that?

[Brian Green]

Well, tell me how you do that. I mean, listen, take the commercial break as an example. We've been doing 750,000 episodes of this show. I don't purposefully lie about anybody, but I get it wrong all the time. Innocent people that I just go ahead and just say their name wrong. They did this movie, but they didn't. They screwed this person. But they have not, you know, innocent people.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Listen, some people have died. They haven't.

[Brian Green]

That's right. A lot of people are dead that haven't died. A lot of people are alive that are actually dead. So, you know, maybe it works both ways, I guess.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Wait, what was the quote? If you.

[Carl Lentz]

You.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

If you don't want to be lied.

[Brian Green]

About, don't put your position. Don't put yourself in a position to be lied about.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

I get.

[Brian Green]

I don't know.

[Carl Lentz]

It was a dumb quote myself. I'm going, you know what? Yeah, the lies are hard because what I did do was bad enough to just talk about that. But it's the stuff that, you know, was thrown on in the. In the middle of that.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

What was thrown on?

[Carl Lentz]

And I went from being, I don't.

[Brian Green]

Know, that he was Bieber's boyfriend or something. Who knows? I don't know.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

I only slept with two babysitters and one yoga teacher. But then all of a sudden, there's a girl at Chili's, and there's a girl at Houston's, and there's another girl.

[Brian Green]

That works at the coffee shop.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

And Chrissy, that's not a coffee shop.

[Brian Green]

That is not a coffee shop.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

It's a crepe and beignet shop.

[Brian Green]

And I just felt awful that I was being lied about.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

Me, not her.

[Brian Green]

Me.

[Carl Lentz]

Mad and bitter to going, it's my fault. Like, it's my fault. I put us in the middle of this road for people to lie about us. So rather than be even mad at the liars, it was a great moment for me to go, you know what? I'm just never in my life going to give other people the control that I gave them. Because when you are in a. In a situation that's dishonest, people don't know what to believe. So I remember that day kind of changed me. When we talked about it, I was. I'm just never going to be here again. People are gonna talk. And they did. But moving forward, I will never put myself in the position that I put myself in. I'll never put you and our kids in a position.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Why don't you come out and say it? I'll never cheat on you again. I lie to you. I cheated on you, the whole situation, quote, unquote.

[Brian Green]

I'm sorry, but I think you owe us all the gory details. I wanna know blow by blow. Action. Yes.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

How did they meet? When did they meet?

[Brian Green]

Pump by pump.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

How did they affair after?

[Brian Green]

Thrust by thrust. Chrissy and I need to know how this all went down.

[Carl Lentz]

Vulnerable. So, yeah, that's why we waited.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

I'm surprised one of the women hasn't come out with like a book or something.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I'm sure they have, but it's just we. We don't read it. Yeah, yeah. Who cares? Honestly? It's tabloid fodder. And no one. You know, maybe some people are interested, people who were involved in the church or really knew Carl or were, you know, went and saw him every weekend. Or maybe they're interested in all the details, but. And I am too, but only if he says it here on this podcast so I can be here.

[Chrissy]

And you just were saying it's your fault that you put us in that position. Who is at fault? Who is at fault in this whole situation? Because there was things thrown around in that space as well.

[Carl Lentz]

Yeah, yeah, I'm at fault. I'm at fault.

[Brian Green]

Fault.

[Carl Lentz]

Who?

[Brian Green]

My who? Yeah, who?

[Announcer]

You?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, tell me again, Carl, tell me again, who's at fault.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

She is so whiny lately, Chrissy. It's like sometimes I wake up in the morning and she's in my face and she's just like, who's at fault? And I'm like, I am. I'm at fault. I preached on a full deck and then I emptied it all over the girl from meditation class. I'm sorry, who?

[Brian Green]

Who's at fault?

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

I am. Yes, ma'.

[Brian Green]

Am.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

I kind of like it. Makes me horny sometimes. Actually. I don't know if you want to come over and ask me who's at fault? I'll tell you I am, and I'll.

[Brian Green]

Be on my knees. It's a kink now.

[Carl Lentz]

Indecisions my choices. That's my responsibility.

[Brian Green]

You know what else is a choice? Is to chew gum while you're doing a podcast. Please stop.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Why is he chewing gum?

[Brian Green]

I don't know. I've seen this a couple times on some major podcasts and drives me crazy. It's like, don't chew gum. Even though it's not as bad as some other podcast podcasts or they're chewing gum. It's pretty bad when you're chewing gum on a microphone.

[Carl Lentz]

Take responsibility for it. I have wanted people to know when I get a chance to talk to them that I'm deeply sorry for what happened. And it's nobody else's responsibility. It's mine. We always have choice. We always have our own agency to do what we feel like we have to do. And I mismanaged my we feel like.

[Brian Green]

We have to do. You had to do the yoga instructor. Did you really? That you met randomly at a park.

[Carl Lentz]

Unbelievable personal life. I hid things that I should not have hid. I lied about things I shouldn't have lied about. I was confused who I was at times. Didn't get any help for it.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

Yeah.

[Carl Lentz]

And the result was a whole lot of pain for a whole lot of people, which I will remain deeply sorry for for the rest of my life. I don't live in the shame of it it, but I'll never forget the impact that it had on people. And it's nobody else's fault. It's my fault. And I feel like, who. When you're in a situation.

[Brian Green]

Your fault. Whose fault? My fault. Whose fault? My fault. Oh, I could go on with that all day long. All right, let's take a break, and then when we get back, we'll hear more of Carl groveling in front of his wife. Finally, we're getting through. I mean, at least she's getting a little, you know, no airtime reprobation here. Whatever you call it.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

Reprobation?

[Brian Green]

Is that even a word?

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

I made it up. Sounds good. Reprobation. It's like masturbation, only it hurts. We'll be back.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

Let me do something Brian has never done.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

Be brief.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-433. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercial break and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

[Brian Green]

All right, real quick, because I think it's funny. My. One of my kids drew some art at the beginning of the year and then they had. We went and saw it. It was nice, you know, whatever. But we're talking about kids drawing stuff. I love it. I'm proud of it. I think it's wonderful. But now there's this company that emails us every three days. Mugs, hats, T shirts, gloves, you know, full size painting canvas, mirrors, you know, shoes. We can get it on anything. And it only cost, you know, $99.99. And I'm like, wait, it's like a four year old drawing this stuff. I mean, it's not Picasso. All right, back to Carl and his apology tour here on his new podcast.

[Carl Lentz]

Where you have made mistakes. You have two options to point out the window and try to find other people that are more guilty as guilty and you feel that need to deflect blame. Or you look in the mirror and I feel like we've done the best job we can. I know I have worked really hard at staying in the mirror. What did I do? What's my responsibility? What's my role in this? What part in the story did I put? And I.

[Brian Green]

Bad penis. Bad penis. Carl's penis has been a bad penis.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Bad boy.

[Brian Green]

Stay in that mirror. Look in that mirror. Oh, yeah.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

Oh, Carl, you're hot. It's okay.

[Brian Green]

It's all right. You get back on the horse. You still got a couple good years left in it. Let's get some more hair plugs and get back out there. There is something going on there. Not sure what it is.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Yeah, it's like a merkin on his.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I don't know what that is. A small little patch. It is a little patch much. Did you think they took that from his, like, armpit hair or something? I'm not sure.

[Carl Lentz]

Am so heavy throughout it that I don't have a lot of time anymore to worry about other people's role in the story. But what happened to our marriage and what happened to my platform, it was my fault and my responsibility, nobody else's. And that's just the truth. That's just the way that I see it. It's the way that I accept it. It's the way that I relate to it. It and my job now is to be a is to make living amends. As I've explained to you, when you. When you wrong people and you hurt people and you offend people and you break the trust of people, you. If you're truly about owning what you did, you try to make amends. And I've done that where I can privately with the people that I feel like it's been appropriate. But.

[Brian Green]

Well, I'd like you to come on a commercial break and make amends with us because we had a whole character based on you and then you went away for two years and we had to put the character away. And what about us, Carl?

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

What about us?

[Brian Green]

What about our show? What about the things that you. That you. The pain that you caused us and.

[Carl Lentz]

Me personally, public figure, person, and you've hurt people on a bigger scale. Your whole life has to be a living amends. And that's what I plan on doing. I can't go up to every single person that was a part of our beautiful church and say, I'm sorry to you. I can't do it, since that's not possible. But I can live a life of integrity and honesty that gives people reason to believe and gives people reason to have hope. And I cannot change people. I can't change their minds. Big, big revelation for me in this chapter. Big, big, big, big, huge dick. Is live a life of integrity and honesty. And nobody cares about what my words are when it comes to that. I don't care. You don't care what my words are. But if you're truly repentant and you're sorry about something, your words need to be said. But it'll change the way you think. And when you change the way you think, it changes the way you act. That's true repentance. So I feel like we've got a couple years now of fruit of what we've been trying to do, but I.

[Brian Green]

Feel like we've been saying a lot of buzzwords, Carl, a whole lot of buzzwords over and over and over again. I think you made your point.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Now tell us the details.

[Brian Green]

Show us pictures.

[Carl Lentz]

Yeah, it's my goal, you know, if people want to believe, if people want to follow, if people want to listen, that's their right. I can't change them. But what I can do is continue to recover.

[Brian Green]

If people want to pay me to get an ad free version of this episode, I can't change it. I can't. What am I supposed to do, Chrissy? Money's just. Money's just hitting me in the head. I can't Help it be who I.

[Carl Lentz]

Feel like I'm called to be. Be your husband. Husband. Be a dad. And leave my life on display like it's always been. Say if you watch the bad parts of it. Well, the story is still continuing.

[Brian Green]

This is the story.

[Carl Lentz]

Take it or leave it. This is who we are. And that's my goal. To live. To live a life of. Of living amends. I really want to be able to say this to you in public because you were. Your reputation was damaged in public. You had nothing to do with. With my hidden sin, hidden habits and hidden addiction.

[Brian Green]

You fucked hot girls that were under your guise. Or maybe not. Maybe you were having sex with multiple women, some of which were part of your church, some of which were not a part of your church. I don't know. Because you haven't told that part of the story. That seems to be the one part of the story you're avoiding. I don't think anyone ever blamed your wife for that. Maybe some people did, but I think anyone ever blamed your wife for that. But that is not an addiction. That is some dumb thinking. That is some dumb, dumb thinking. That's all it is. Not everything in life is an addiction. Here we go. Psycho psychoanalyzing. Sub, sub, sub genre of mental health illness is to make a category specifically for us the reason why we did these things. But the truth is it's just a dumb decision to have sex when you're such a public figure with people who clearly may or may not decide to have their own agency and go out there and tell that story. You got caught. That's what happened. It's not an addiction. It's a dumb decision.

[Carl Lentz]

You did not know what was going on with me. And I know there's been some confusing reports where people can try to piece something together and say, you know, Laura, was she complicit? Did she know? And that's just not true. It's not our story.

[Brian Green]

Hey Carl, it's Laura. I just wanted to let you know that I hope you're having a good dick sucking. I mean, complicit. Why would his wife be complicit? Who thought of that?

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

Or maybe they had an open marriage. Oh, maybe that's what people thought.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Maybe, huh?

[Brian Green]

Now that's a twist I could get with. Now that's a TLC reality show waiting to happen. Carl Lentz the thruppy Carl Lentz Throupple.

[Carl Lentz]

In love didn't know anything about what I was doing because I became really proficient at making my life work. Despite a lot of pain. And there were times where you asked me questions to my face and I didn't give you honest answers. There were other times where I even tried to make you. Your reality confused.

[Brian Green]

You're just a. Yeah, Gaslighting.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Gaslighting.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. That's what you do do.

[Carl Lentz]

You're a beautiful human being and your character has never, ever been in question. There's never been a complaint about you. You are the most lovable person and the most loved person that I've ever known. You were the backbone of our church, the leader to so many people, and you did not deserve.

[Brian Green]

Okay, this is going to be another. They're going to jack each other off here for the next 30 minutes and I don't know that I'm with them. I don't even know that I need to platform all the bs. Listen, I hope that he is a changed guy. That's all I can say. I hope he's a changed guy. We've had some good laughs at his expense and we might continue to do that. I'll say that Carl is a character in our universe that is exaggerated, probably from the real human being. He's obviously in a lot of pain. He put a lot of people through a lot of pain. And I do hope that he is a reformed dude because everyone deserves a second chance, including Carl. And I don't think he's the. I don't think what he's done is the worst sin in the world. World. I think that my opinion is the hypocrisy at the church is more damning than anything, at least to the wider universe, than anything that he did, you know, in personal indiscretions that's painful to his wife and his children, but more, more of that religious, you know, let me take your money and hope everything works out kind of thing. So I hope Bieber forgives you. Has Bieber forgiven you is the question.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

That's the main, main one.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's the one I want to know. Bieber, call us. Well, Bieber's on his own terror right now. What's going on with him? You see, he's all kind of a mess. Yeah. He's like making posts that are weird and you didn't know. Look into it.

[Announcer]

Google it.

[Brian Green]

When you get home, you do a little hunting, pecking, and I don't know. I don't know. But that's just what's on there.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

It's been a little erratic quite the past few years.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But like the last few months apparently, like more erratic and People are a little concerned, wondering if, if he's trolling or what the deal is. I don't know. I don't know. But he, some people think he was caught up in some of that Diddy stuff and maybe that's kind of leaking out the side of his brain.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

I was wondering about that this morning. Shower thoughts.

[Brian Green]

Oh yeah.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Thinking about that whole Diddy thing. When is when, when's the next step?

[Brian Green]

They're all, they're doing pre motion trials right now, back and forth and government's putting more evidence in and lawyers are trying to get more, more evidence out.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

And I'm ready.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Sentence.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

Sentence.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Well, if even half of it is true or a quarter of it or a tenth of it is pretty bad stuff. So let's see. Innocent vote, proven guilty. That's the way that it is. But he sure, it sure does look from my point of view like some shenanigans were going on.

[Carl Lentz (impersonation or character)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

All right, more shenanigans on the tcbpodcast.com website. All the audio, all the video, all of our shenanigans right there from one location at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok and YouTube.com the commercial break for all the video the same day it airs here on the audio 212-4333 TCB questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas or a voicemail if you'd like to be on the show. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you that I love you.

[Co-host (possibly Chrissy or another co-host)]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you and best you out there in the podcast, podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say goodbye. It.