The Commercial Break — "Nat Pat Is Calling In The Cash!"

Release Date: January 29, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green, Krissy Hoadley
Guest Subject: Natalie Peterson, "5D Energetics Business Coach" / Life Coaching Industry Satire

Episode Overview

This irreverent installment of The Commercial Break dives headfirst into the booming and bizarre world of modern life coaching, with hosts Bryan and Krissy (and their trademark chaos) satirizing the industry’s self-styled gurus, questionable business models, and pseudo-mystical promises. The episode’s focus is on the “calling in cash” narrative popular among influencers like Australian coach Natalie Peterson ("Nat Pat"), whose expensive seminars promise transformative enlightenment and financial windfalls—if you follow her “light codes.”

The show lampoons these trends with playful skepticism, biting banter, and in-depth commentary on the psychology, marketing, and cult-like cycles perpetuated by many coaching businesses.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life Coaching as the New MLM (Multi-Level Marketing) — [02:57–07:36]

• Bryan’s Rant: Bryan likens the modern life coaching industry, particularly the Instagram/female empowerment subset, to Multi-Level Marketing schemes, emphasizing the similarities in structure and sales tactics.
  • Quote:
    “Life coaches are out of fucking control.”
    – Bryan (04:24)
• The “Problem Creation” Scam:
  Bryan points out how many coaches manufacture new problems for clients, then upsell solutions, fostering dependency rather than actual progress.
  • “They’re creating the problems that you desperately need to solve over and over again...”
    – Bryan (04:24)
• Science & Spirituality Mash-up:
  The hosts mock how these courses frequently blend pseudoscientific jargon with generic Eastern philosophy.
  • “It’s clearly just horse hockey... rehashing somebody else’s words.”
    – Bryan (04:51)

2. Jay Shetty & the Certification Gold Rush — [05:54–10:03]

• Jay Shetty’s Life Coach Empire:
  Bryan skewers Jay Shetty: Instagram-wisdom repackager, podcasting superstar, and “Buddha-quote plagiarist,” for charging thousands of dollars for questionable certifications.
  • Quote:
    “Jay Shetty putting his name on quotes is the new putting an inspirational poster in your office.”
    – Bryan (06:56)
• Certification Pipe Dream:
  The show exposes the misleading university affiliations in Shetty’s marketing and the hollow promise of professional legitimacy.
  • “...universities demanded that Jay Shetty take their names off of the course and off of the materials and off of the website.”
    – Bryan (08:43)

3. Self-Help Industry’s Harmful Feedback Loop — [07:39–14:15]

• Making Us Sicker:
  Bryan argues that modern self-help often exacerbates people’s anxieties, convincing them they are broken and require endless fixing.
  • “We’re never really getting the answers because there are no answers to being human.”
    – Bryan (12:36)
• True Wisdom is Free (or Cheap):
  The hosts reference Wayne Dyer and other luminaries, contrasting authentic self-development with commercialized guru culture.
  • “The wisdom that’s being rehashed in life coaching has been around for a very long time…you can probably get it for a couple books on Amazon.”
    – Bryan (06:57)

4. Introducing Natalie Peterson (“Nat Pat”) & The 5D Gimmick — [14:17–23:09]

• Profile of a Modern Coach:
  Natalie Peterson, Australian "5D Energetics Business Coach" and “lightworker,” is introduced as Exhibit A in the genre’s excesses—a spiritual entrepreneur pitching “light codes” for thousands of dollars per seminar.
  • “This woman talks, I think is, quite frankly, fucking insane.”
    – Bryan (15:19)
• Lightworkers, Star Trek Salutes, and 5D Chess:
  Krissy, Bryan, and guests giggle through Peterson’s credentials, pseudo-scientific lexicon, and wild claims, from “quantum healing” to fake Eastern mysticism.
  • “Throw in a little bullshit here, a fancy dress there, a cheap Holiday Inn ballroom here and there, $10,000 a week and wa bam, you’re a quantum light worker…”
    – Bryan (19:30)

5. Inside the Light Codes Seminar—Straight from Nat Pat’s Videos—[18:47–43:57]

• Bizarre Money “Teachings”:
  The hosts play (and roast) excerpts from Natalie’s seminars, which claim to impart “absolute clarity” and transform money anxieties.
  • “She’s going to provide absolute life clarity from Brisbane.”
    – Bryan (21:00)
• Secret to Financial Enlightenment:
  Peterson’s “two biggest light codes” are revealed as…
  1. Releasing anxiety about money
  2. Reading books like Secrets of a Millionaire Mind
  • “Did you hear what she said? She said she read a book. These are fascinating secrets…”
    – Bryan (29:56)
• More Eye Roll Moments:
  • Channeling Money: “Most of you have done my channeling exercise… you talk to money as if it is a being, okay? Because it is. It’s an energy.”
    – Natalie Peterson (32:41)
  • Cutting Out “Low Vibe” Friends: Peterson instructs attendees to cut off friends who are “bad with money,” to improve their own “money energy.”
    • “Get rid of your poor friends. Literally, get rid of your poor friends. You must literally leave them.”
      – Bryan (34:04)

6. Seminar Attendees Justify Their Spend; Over-the-Top Testimonials — [37:37–44:14]

• Live Testimonials:
  Seminar-goers (like “Tina”) describe transformative effects—rekindled romances, sexual re-awakenings, instant job success—that coincide (miraculously) with paying thousands to Nat Pat.
  • “My life has literally changed everything because of Nat Pat and the light codes course.”
    – Chris (40:43)
• Bryan’s Cynical Take:
  Participants must justify their investment—“Love it. This is how people get programmed.”

7. Off the Rails: From Vague Enlightenment to Vagina Numbness — [44:25–49:52]

• Random Tangents:
  The seminar devolves into revelations about fake tans, hair extensions, grand-parenting, pelvic pain, and “numb vaginas,” with no thread to money or enlightenment.
  • “This is the light code I’ve been waiting for. Pain in her vagina.”
    – Bryan (49:06)

8. The Episode’s Core Point — All the Wisdom You Need is Already Inside You — [46:41–48:01; 52:16–end]

• Peterson’s Accidental Confession:
  “You guys don’t even need a training to do this. Thank you.”
  – Natalie Peterson (46:41)
  • Bryan and Krissy cheer: This is exactly the conclusion the hosts want listeners to draw.
• Bryan’s Final Analysis:
  Life coaches peddling generic advice are primarily monetizing common sense and vulnerability.
  • “If you do something so broad, like, I like light codes too, and you’re teaching people about your numb vagina, you’ve just wasted everybody’s time and my money.”
    – Bryan (52:45)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Life Coach Fads:
  • “Everybody and their mother is now making a seminar or a class that you can take so that you, too, can be a life coach.”
    – Bryan (10:03)
• On Jay Shetty:
  • “He was a good bullshitter… but he would put words together that made you think.”
    – Bryan (10:03)
• On Seminar Testimonials:
  • “You have to justify this after you’re involved in it now. You have to justify what’s going on.”
    – Bryan (43:40)
• Roasting Pseudoscience:
  • “Channel the money. Channel the money…”
    – Chris (33:03)
• On Peterson’s Message:
  • “You don’t even need me.”
    – Natalie Peterson (46:48)

Important Segment Timestamps

• [02:57–04:40] — Introduction to the MLM structure of life coaching
• [05:54–10:03] — Jay Shetty critique, course pricing & fake credentials
• [14:15–21:10] — Natalie Peterson’s Instagram persona and seminar style
• [21:33–34:35] — Money anxiety “light codes” and channeling energy for wealth
• [37:37–44:14] — Seminar testimonials and transformation claims
• [46:41–48:01] — Nat Pat admits “you don’t need a training to do this”
• [52:16–end] — Takeaways: True wisdom is internal; coaching industry excesses

Episode Tone and Style

The episode is sarcastic, irreverent, and conversational—deeply skeptical of the self-help industrial complex. Bryan and Krissy riff off each other seamlessly, alternating between sharp commentary, playful parody, and genuine concern for listeners’ wallets.

Takeaway

Life coaches promising instant abundance, spiritual breakthroughs, and secret wisdom via expensive certifications are usually—at best—repackaging clichés and, at worst, exploiting people’s insecurities. As even Natalie Peterson herself fleetingly admits, you don’t need a $2,000 course to transform your life: the answers (and real growth) are likely already within you.

“If you need help organizing your closet, hire a professional organizer. If you need help starting a podcast, hire a podcast coach. But if you’re paying thousands to talk about your numb vagina and manifest checks from the universe, you’ve just wasted everybody’s time and money.”
– Bryan Green (paraphrased, 52:45)