The Commercial Break — “New Movie Blues” (July 19, 2024)

Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Episode Theme: A fast, funny, and slightly chaotic rundown of recent pop culture oddities, of-the-moment viral news, and a deep comedic rant about Hollywood’s creative bankruptcy—all woven together with Bryan and Krissy’s off-the-cuff banter and signature improv energy.

Overview

This episode features Bryan and Krissy riffing on a viral national anthem disaster, recounting wild recent events at a major soccer tournament, and spiraling into a fiercely funny tirade about the lack of originality in modern movies. The duo highlights oddities of daily life, sprinkles in laugh-out-loud quips about language, and closes with a comedic celebration of obscure vocabulary. The tone is irreverent and playful throughout, with both hosts leaning into their “just FINE” self-aware brand of humor.

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Viral National Anthem Fiasco (02:04–09:12)

• Bryan introduces Ingrid Andress, a country singer who botched the national anthem at the MLB Home Run Derby, later admitting online that she was “absolutely hammered” and checking herself into rehab.
• Listen and react segment: They play the viral anthem clip, providing real-time cringing commentary.
• Comedic comparisons: The hosts recall prior infamous anthem fails, including Flavor Flav’s, and share personal anecdotes.
• Sound check and performer prep rants:
  • Bryan: “If I'm doing the national anthem, I am demanding a sound check. I'm not gonna go up there in front of millions of people and be like, what’s up?” (09:12)
  • Krissy: “You gotta make a motherfucking game.” (09:08)
• Memorable quote:
  “If that doesn’t give you chills, if that doesn’t say ‘America’—I mean, that doesn’t really, like, make you feel patriotic—then I don’t know what will.” – Bryan (02:59)

2. Copa America Chaos: Gate Crashing Gone Wild (12:47–19:52)

• News recap: After the Copa America soccer final at Miami’s Hard Rock Stadium, thousands crashed the gates, causing mayhem. People were climbing in through air vents, children were tossed to sheriff’s deputies for safety, and gate security collapsed.
• Host reactions: Combination of disbelief, sarcasm, and concern.
  • Krissy: “They’re looking for their vents.” (13:43)
  • Bryan: “They drop the babies and they run away themselves. Good luck with your kids.” (14:24)
• Satirical accountability: Jokes about sending the stadium “to rehab” after its ‘drinking problem’ (15:09).
• Reflection on fan behavior:
  “Just watch it at home. You don’t have tickets! ... You crash the gate, put other people’s lives in jeopardy, and then you’re celebrating on the way in because you got in. Congratulations, you fucking moron.” – Bryan (17:15–17:26)
• Host engagement: They invite Miami listeners to share first-hand stories from the event.

3. Hollywood Rant: Sequels, Reboots, and Creative Drought (21:23–35:44)

• Topic shift: Discussion pivots to the release of a new “Twister” movie, launching a passionate critique on remakes, sequels, and cinematic “non-creativity.”
• Memorable pop culture rundown:
  • Bryan lists “Twister,” “Road House,” “Indiana Jones,” Marvel movies, “Jurassic Park,” “Bad Boys 4,” and “Fast and Furious.”
  • Krissy: “No, that’s the thing—it’s all sequels or remakes…that new Road House? I refuse to watch it, but I heard it was good.”
• Generational thoughts: They acknowledge younger audiences may not know the originals, so remakes feel “new” to them.
• Favorite original works: Praise for “Dune,” “Bourne,” “Breaking Bad,” and “Better Call Saul” as rare recent examples of creative revitalization or proper spin-offs.
• Bryan’s lament:
  “Everything is just a retread of everything else…Did we need a Twister 2? Did we ever sit around with friends and go, you know, they should have made Twisters 2?” (29:52)
• Hollywood economics: They empathize with risk aversion but urge executives to greenlight original scripts.
  • “Take a fucking chance. Do something different. Yeah, you might bomb a few times, but your studios—that’s what you’re supposed to do.” – Bryan (34:19)

4. Movie Screening Anecdote: Video Game Adaptation Blues (35:20–37:23)

• Behind-the-scenes story: Bryan recounts being invited to an early screening of a movie based on a popular video game. He describes extreme security, a confusing plot, and his own bewilderment:
  • “I was so confused from beginning to end. I didn’t know what to do.” (35:44)
• Wider point: The trend of adapting thin-source video games into convoluted films.
  • Bryan: “It’s an example of how creativity has just been shot in the foot when it comes to Hollywood.” (37:23)

5. Obscure Words and Everyday Oddities (39:43–50:36)

• Game segment: They quiz each other on official names for odd objects or experiences, riffing for laughs:
  • Space between eyebrows: “Glabella”
  • Smell after rain: “Petrichor”
  • Plastic end of shoelace: “Aglet”
  • Stomach rumble: “Wamble”
  • First cry of newborn: “Vagitus”
  • Prongs of a fork: “Tines”—Krissy gets it right!
  • Dots seen when pressing on eyes: “Phosphenes”
  • The dot above an “i” or “j”: “Tittle”
  • Overindulgent nausea: “Crapulence”
  • Device to measure feet at shoe store: “Brannock device”
• Playful encouragement:
  “I’m gonna start saying all these weird words…Middle Earth speak!” – Krissy (45:25)
• Childhood memory: Bryan recalls empathy for bullied classmates and learning comedy as a defense.

6. End-of-Episode Banter and Uplifting Notes (51:11–53:30)

• Chat about the daily grind and the need for good news.
  Krissy suggests subscribing to “Nice News” for balance.
• Signature TCB sign-off:
  “Best to you, best to you out there in the podcast universe, tittles and all!” – Bryan (53:29)

Notable Quotes

• On national anthem disasters:
  “If I’m doing the national anthem, I am demanding a sound check.” – Bryan (09:12)
• On movie sequels:
  “Twisters 2. No one ever asked for it. No one.” – Bryan (29:52)
• On Hollywood risk-taking:
  “Take a fucking chance. Do something different.” – Bryan (34:19)
• On sports chaos:
  “They drop the babies and they run away themselves. Good luck with your kids.” – Bryan (14:24)
• Krissy, on movie remakes:
  “All sequels or remakes or…that new Road House? I refuse to watch it.” – Krissy (23:58)
• Bryan, on original TV:
  “There’s nothing to me like a well-paced, well-done series that knows when it’s time to go. Like Breaking Bad.” (27:04)
• On word games:
  “I’m gonna start saying all these weird words. Yes. Middle Earth speak!” – Krissy (45:25)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:04–09:12]: Ingrid Andress anthem debacle
• [12:47–19:52]: Copa America stadium chaos
• [21:23–35:44]: Hollywood’s creativity crisis & movie sequel rant
• [35:20–37:23]: Video game movie screening story
• [39:43–50:36]: Odd words and obscure objects banter

Tone and Style

• Self-deprecating, improvisational, and quick with savage pop culture observations.
• Both hosts riff naturally, often building on each other’s jokes and indulging wild comedic asides.
• The language is casual, at times explicit, and always delivered with a wink.

For New Listeners

“New Movie Blues” is a prime example of The Commercial Break’s blend of bizarre news, pop-culture hot takes, and fast-moving comedy. Even without having heard the episode, readers get a solid sense of Bryan and Krissy’s comedic chemistry and the show’s playful, unfiltered vibe.