The Commercial Break — Episode: "NoNo Siwa"

Date: June 13, 2024
Hosts: Brian Green & Krissy Hoadley

Episode Overview

In this episode, hosts Brian and Krissy dive into a summer-spirited, laughter-laden conversation featuring Olympic sports nostalgia, chaotic parenting stories, infamous Georgia lake tales, quirky family dog antics, and a heated debate on lip syncing in pop music—focusing on JoJo Siwa's authenticity. This episode is a classic encapsulation of TCB’s self-aware, “just FINE,” cheesecake factory–style banter: wild tangents, irreverent humor, and the genuine rapport of friends who know each other (and their listeners) well.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Summer Olympics & Childhood Sports Memories

[01:17–04:00]

• Brian is excited about the upcoming 2024 Summer Olympics, reminiscing about his failed sporting attempts as a kid and the unique joy of "showing up" awards.
• Krissy and Brian both favor events like track, volleyball, gymnastics, and water polo, joking about the athleticism and cheeky swimsuits involved.

Quote:
"So we had the pool in the backyard...I'm trying to teach some of my kids how to swim...and they just sink to the bottom."
— Brian Green, 04:30

2. Lake Lanier Culture & Dangers

[05:30–11:00]

• Brian wryly describes Georgia's Lake Lanier, notorious for accidents and “lake life” debauchery—a mix of houseboats, excessive drinking, bikini mishaps, and party chaos.
• The hosts discuss the eerie history of manmade lakes with entire submerged towns, making the waters particularly hazardous and creepy, especially for children.

Quote:
"There are entire towns…houses that are just sitting at the bottom of the lake. They were never demolished. They were never taken away. They just filled it up with water."
— Brian Green, 10:49

3. Parenting Chaos: Adventures in Grocery Shopping

[15:34–21:04]

• Brian recounts a hilariously futile mission to the grocery store with his kids for “one thing,” only to forget the actual item (pasta), resulting in a second trip and the kids ratting him out at home.

Quote:
"So we get half a mile from the grocery store...He goes, 'You forgot the pasta.' And I was like, oh, shit."
— Brian Green, 19:26

4. Heroic Animals & Their Quirks

[22:04–30:35]

• The hosts riff on stories of heroic pets: a news headline about "Blue the whippet" who helped save his owner, and a cat navigating cross-country over years to reunite with its family.
• Brian addresses his own dog Blue's questionable heroics and the strong bond (and chaos) Blue brings to family life.

Quote:
"There is a reason why Blue is still in our lives, and that's because I have a responsibility to Blue. I took her in as a little puppy. We are bonded."
— Brian Green, 25:29

5. Traveling with Kids & Luxurious Dog Hotels

[30:35–33:33]

• Brian laments the mind-boggling costs of accommodation for large families and the luxury hotel rates he pays for Blue when boarding the dog.
• Embarrassed hotel searches, memories of Embassy Suites, and the rising expense of family trips in 2024 dominate this segment.

6. Babysitting Tales: Discovery & Disaster

[34:13–40:07]

• Both hosts share their youthful experiences babysitting—uncovers tales of kids discovering illicit items (weed, porn, the Kama Sutra) in someone’s house, and the comedic fallout that ensued.
• Underlines their distrust in children ever keeping secrets or respecting parental privacy.

Quote:
"So here we are with all the things that these people never wanted us to see. Just in the bonus room. We didn't smoke the weed or anything like that. We just had it out."
— Brian Green, 36:16

7. JoJo Siwa, Lip Syncing, and Pop Music Authenticity

[41:44–54:06]

• After defending JoJo Siwa's coming-of-age in previous episodes, Brian admits he’s now frustrated with her post-Nickelodeon phase, after witnessing her blatant lip syncing at Pride events.
• The hosts compare Siwa’s stagecraft to notorious lip-sync fails (Ashley Simpson on SNL, Madonna’s live controversies) and draw the line at paying for inauthentic performances.
• They contrast pop with the jam band world—where missed notes by artists like Fish or Maggie Rogers only add to the authenticity and live-show magic.

Quote:
"If I pay $109 to see someone in the nosebleed section and I find out that they’re lip syncing, that might piss me off."
— Brian Green, 47:27

Quote:
"You got to be authentic at your own shows. And you know what? The crowd will roll with it… Fly without a net."
— Brian Green, 49:29

8. Closing Thoughts: Taking a Break & Spooky Lakes

[54:06–56:43]

• Brian and Krissy advise that JoJo Siwa should step back, train, and relaunch with genuine vocals—not tracks. They retell stories of haunted Lake Lanier and MTV’s aging viewership, ending their trademark casual-goodbye.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Swimming Struggles:
  "Kick your legs, kick your legs, kick your legs. He doesn’t really do that. And so he just kind of falls down. So I’m always jumping in the pool to, you know, grab his arm and push it back up. It’s a whole exhausting thing."
  —Brian Green, 04:54

• Lake Lanier Party Scene:
  "During the morning, you could probably get away with maybe having your kids there… By three o’clock—you had better be sheltered in place because this place is gonna turn nuts."
  —Brian Green, 08:07

• On Parenting:
  "They just say they have boo boos so they can get the character [Band-Aids]. One of my kids has twelve Band-Aids on right now. No blood has been shown."
  —Brian Green, 18:25

• On Pop Music Authenticity:
  "Vince Neil is bad. He is as terrible as he is...But he sings his own songs."
  —Brian Green, 47:50

• On JoJo Siwa’s Future:
  "Acapella Siwa. That’s what we’re gonna call it. Acapella Siwa. We’re gonna prove to the world that you can sing."
  —Brian Green, 53:33

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Olympic Nostalgia & Parenting Fails: [01:17–04:00]
• Lake Lanier Disasters & Culture: [05:30–11:00]
• Water Safety, Summer Chaos: [11:00–14:27]
• Grocery Store Fiasco: [15:34–21:04]
• Hero Dog Story/Animal Banter: [22:04–30:35]
• Luxury Dog Boarding/Kid Travel Woes:[30:35–33:33]
• Babysitting & Childhood Mischief: [34:13–40:07]
• JoJo Siwa, Madonna & Lip Syncing: [41:44–54:06]
• Lake Lanier Hauntings, MTV Age: [54:06–56:43]
• Show Close, Plugs: [56:43–End]

Episode Tone

Chaotic, warm, self-deprecating, and unfiltered, loaded with inside jokes, parental absurdity, and relentless commentary on the weirdness of pop culture and everyday life.

For more:

• Instagram: @thecommercialbreak
• TikTok: @tcbpodcast
• Website: tcbpodcast.com
• Call/Text: 212-4333-TCB

"Best to you—and best to you out there in the podcast universe."