The Commercial Break - Episode: "Now I'm a Belieber! (The Return Of Carl Lentz)"
Release Date: March 28, 2025

1. Festival Fiascos and Past Productions

The episode kicks off with hosts Brian Greene and Chris Hoadley reminiscing about their tumultuous experiences organizing music festivals. Brian shares a memorable anecdote from the North Georgia Mountain Blues Fest, highlighting the chaos behind the scenes.

Brian Greene [00:00-02:30]:
"I could not have said it better myself, Coach, your dad is a loser indeed. Let's take a quick commercial break and we'll be back with the game on this episode of the commercial break."

They delve into the challenges of event management, discussing last-minute changes, financial hurdles, and unexpected mishaps, such as bouncing a check to PE Groove and dealing with undercover cops infiltrating their festival.

Brian Greene [18:09-19:47]:
"Because there's. That's the only thing they got. The only thing they got is to withhold the. The presentation. And if someone wants them to play. I remember when we put on Jam Land Productions, put on Jam Land. Mountain Blues Fest..."

2. The Fyre Fest 2 Debacle

Transitioning from personal stories, Brian and Chris shift their focus to the notorious Fyre Fest 2, scrutinizing the latest updates and logistical setbacks.

Brian Greene [11:18-17:00]:
"But he still does. That's the thing, is that he's so well known now because of all the drama around Fire one. He could have pulled this off. Had he done it the right way. Could have, but he's not going to. It's not going to happen."

They critique the hasty venue change to Playa del Carmen, emphasizing the potential for disaster given the lack of announced headliners and the shift from a traditional festival structure to a scattered event resembling South by Southwest.

Brian Greene [13:42-14:59]:
"There's been an update to the Fire Fest 2 or to Billy McFarland's Instagram page where he's telling people this is the only official communication is going to come from me and my Instagram page... So now if you've bought tickets and you've got your hotel accommodations, you got to switch them to the new location."

3. Special Guest: Farrah Abraham on Girl Scout Cookies

Introducing their guest, Farrah Abraham joins the conversation to discuss the perennial topic of Girl Scout cookies, blending humor with relatable frustrations about price discrepancies and availability.

Farrah Abraham [05:07-06:50]:
"I was a Brownie, which is the one right before Girl Scouts... I just did like Brownie one year and Girl Scout one year..."

Brian humorously laments the shrinkflation of Girl Scout cookies, sharing his annual expenditure and the inconsistent pricing he encounters.

Brian Greene [05:20-08:07]:
"But 50, okay, I get the. And, you know, one person wants to make... But I think it should be Converse. The situation should be inverse. Like, I think that we should have how many boxes you sell, not how much money you make."

Farrah expresses confusion over the sudden shift of Girl Scout cookies to grocery stores, prompting a lively debate on the possible motives behind these changes.

4. Carl Lentz’s Apology Tour: A Comedy of Errors

The heart of the episode centers on Carl Lentz’s apology video, which Brian and Chris dissect with their characteristic irreverence and humor. They critique Carl's attempts at redemption, mocking the sincerity and production quality of the apology.

Brian Greene [26:44-34:17]:
"But I noticed that Carl has been on a lot of podcasts lately... He was high up. He was high. All right. All right. Let's hear what a Carl is. Let's give him a shot."

As Carl begins his apology, the hosts interject with jokes and sarcastic comments, undermining his narrative and highlighting inconsistencies.

Brian Greene [34:42-43:30]:
"This is like fire fest too. You know what I'm saying? Uhhuh... Not be 100% cocksure and fire ready, no pun intended, for this, for everything."

Their banter continues as Carl attempts to share his story of public downfall and redemption, with Brian frequently interrupting to steer the conversation into comedic territory.

Chris Hoadley [35:58-36:13]:
"We're looking to the future. Cannot wait to talk about other things. But as it stands right now, we're gonna try to answer as many questions that we've been told by people we love."

Throughout the segment, notable quotes capture the essence of their humor and critical stance:

Brian Greene [42:55-43:17]:
"This is not tragedy. He is part of the tragedy. You are the reason for the tragedy."

They mock Carl’s attempts at authenticity, questioning his motives and the execution of his apology.

Brian Greene [61:05-62:47]:
"Listen, everybody loves a redemption story. Am I right or am I right? Don't you love a redemption story, honey?... Cowboy Kid."

5. Light-Hearted Interludes and Sponsor Promotions

Interspersed with the main discussions are humorous interludes and promotional segments. Brian and Chris engage in playful banter, often breaking the fourth wall to address sponsors like Squarespace, Chime Credit, and Harry’s, maintaining the podcast's signature comedic flair.

Brian Greene [32:06-32:55]:
"Hope with this whole thing is that you can look at what's happened in our life and maybe you can recognize a little bit of your story in ours... Includes bench warming college athletes from volleyball teams."

These segments provide a break from the intense discussions, reinforcing the podcast’s identity as a blend of comedy, personal anecdotes, and satirical commentary.

6. Conclusion: Wrapping Up with a Roast

The episode concludes with Brian and Chris continuing their roast of Carl Lentz, blending genuine moments of empathy with their trademark humor.

Brian Greene [70:33-71:10]:
"There’s no way it can. I'm too important... Your hat. It's hard to preach on a full dick. It's hard to preach with a beaver hat on."

Farrah joins in, adding to the light-hearted yet critical atmosphere as they sign off with final jokes and reminders about the podcast’s social media and contact information.

Chris Hoadley [72:58-73:09]:
"Thanks to Y Brian 3000... So that's what we're gonna do on this, on this podcast, especially early on."

Notable Quotes:

• Brian Greene [05:20]:
  "It's crack now that I don't smoke crack anymore. It's my crack."

• Farrah Abraham [06:07]:
  "Girl Scout cookies at the grocery stores? Yes. I don't know what's going on..."

• Brian Greene [11:18]:
  "He could have pulled this off. Had he done it the right way. Could have, but he's not going to. It's not going to happen."

• Brian Greene [34:32]:
  "She's just sitting there looking nervous and like she wants to crawl out of her skin angry with him, about to cry."

• Brian Greene [61:16]:
  "Because there's a neon light... That's a heavenly penis jizzing as a jizzing accent."

Final Thoughts:

In this episode of The Commercial Break, Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley expertly blend personal anecdotes, pop culture critiques, and comedic roasting, particularly targeting public figures like Carl Lentz. Their unique, irreverent style offers listeners a humorous yet insightful take on high-profile controversies and everyday frustrations, all while maintaining a relatable and chaotic charm that aligns with their description as the "Cheesecake Factory of comedy podcasts." Whether reminiscing about past festival disasters or dissecting apology videos, the hosts ensure an engaging and entertaining experience for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.