Now The Good Neighbors Know!

Summary

The Commercial Break – Episode: "Now The Good Neighbors Know!"

Release Date: February 19, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green & Kristen Joy Hoadley

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1. Neighbors Discovering the Podcast

Bryan Green opens the episode with a humorous confession about his neighbors finding out about his podcast, "The Commercial Break." This revelation leads to comedic fears about his personal life being exposed.

[03:28] Brian Green: "They're going to know about all my drug abuse, all my whacking off and all my sex. It's over."

Kristen Joy Hoadley shares her personal experience with Valentine's Day, recounting a humorous anecdote about her ex-husband gifting her workout DVDs.

[02:21] Kristen Joy Hoadley: "Valentine's Day would get me a set of workout DVDs so that I could get into shape. Steve, you will never get laid. Yeah, what a jerk."

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2. Television Talk: The Diplomat, The Americans, and Severance

The hosts dive into discussions about various TV shows, highlighting their complexities and the communities built around them.

Bryan Green praises "The Americans" for its depth and rewatchability.

[07:56] Brian Green: "The Americans is one of the best television shows, I think, of the last 25 years."

They also discuss "Severance", emphasizing its intricate storytelling and the fan theories it has spawned.

[09:04] Bryan Green: "Severance is good. It is well written. There is so many double entendres and secret meanings and Easter eggs."

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3. Escapism and Addiction

A segment delves into the historical use of coca leaves in 17th-century Italy as a form of escapism, drawing parallels to modern-day methods.

[10:30] Bryan Green: "Escapism is part of the human experience in so many different ways."

Kristen expands on the necessity of escapism for mental well-being while critiquing societal judgments on various forms.

[15:07] Kristen Joy Hoadley: "Addiction is good because people who are going through addiction are really having a hard time."

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4. Geographical Name Changes and Corporate Influence

The hosts humorously debate Google's decision to rename the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, questioning the ease and reasoning behind such changes.

[18:18] Kristen Joy Hoadley: "It seems like there would be."

[20:21] Kristen Joy Hoadley: "It seems completely ridiculous."

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5. Celebrity Scandals and the Phenomenon of Being Canceled

A significant portion is dedicated to discussing the downfall and attempted comebacks of various celebrities embroiled in scandals.

Armie Hammer is scrutinized for his controversial behavior and the resultant isolation from Hollywood.

[26:49] Brian Green: "Armie Hammer was really shunned by the whole Hollywood community."

Woody Allen and Louis CK are also debated, focusing on the challenges of separating art from the artist.

[33:19] Kristen Joy Hoadley: "I completely agree."

Kanye West’s mental health struggles and public outbursts are examined, highlighting the difficulties of celebrity and mental illness.

[40:50] Brian Green: "Damn, Ye. Simmer down."

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6. Life Coaching vs. Therapy

Bryan Green and Kristen Joy Hoadley engage in a candid conversation about the legitimacy and value of life coaches compared to licensed therapists.

[56:13] Brian Green: "When someone's 26 years old without having lived any life and they want to be a life coach, I just have a hard time swallowing that pill."

Kristen emphasizes the importance of wisdom and experience in meaningful life coaching.

[59:07] Kristen Joy Hoadley: "It's kind of almost like a paid friend in a way."

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7. Personal Anecdote: Helping a Neighbor

A heartfelt story unfolds where Bryan assists an elderly neighbor who falls, leading to an awkward revelation about his podcast to the neighbor's family.

[53:28] Kristen Joy Hoadley: "I had no idea that Keanu Reeves was not the first choice for the Matrix."

[54:14] Brian Green: "I almost put a for sale sign out in front of my house immediately after this conversation."

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8. Festival Season and Music Discussions

The hosts shift gears to talk about upcoming music festivals, favorite bands, and their experiences with live music events, including humorous reflections on past festival mishaps.

[63:07] Kristen Joy Hoadley: "Yes, we are."

[64:00] Brian Green: "I think a couple of them have been around since the beginning."

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9. Closing Banter and Future Plans

The episode wraps up with playful banter about life coaching, parenting dilemmas, and the hosts' personal lives, maintaining the show's signature comedic tone.

[67:23] Kristen Joy Hoadley: "There you go. You could be a life coach. You have lived a lot of lives."

[70:54] Brian Green: "You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed."

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Notable Quotes:

• Bryan Green: "They're going to know about all my drug abuse, all my whacking off and all my sex. It's over."
  [03:28]

• Kristen Joy Hoadley: "Escapism is necessary for our brains."
  [16:56]

• Bryan Green: "Everything that you get from gold turns to poopoo."
  [66:05]

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Conclusion:
In this episode of "The Commercial Break," Bryan and Kristen navigate a blend of personal stories, pop culture critiques, and humorous takes on serious topics like escapism and celebrity scandals. Their dynamic friendship and sharp comedic interplay offer listeners both entertainment and insightful commentary on contemporary issues.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

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[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Hi, Brian and Chrissy and crew. Valentine's Day is not something that I personally have celebrated since, you know, back in school days when you handed out the little Valentine's Day to everybody in the class. However, my ex husband, I say X for definite reason, not long after I'd given birth, decided that Valentine's Day would be the perfect day to get me a set of workout DVDs so that I could get into shape. Steve, you will never get laid. Yeah, what a jerk. Anyways, best to y'all. You guys are always number one in my queue.

[Rachel]

On this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

One of the neighbors comes out. One of the adults in the house comes out and she says, hey, you have been a source of entertainment at our house. I just want you to know that. And I thought to myself, here we go. The cat's out of the bag. The good neighbors know. And now it's time to move. I almost put a for sale sign out in front of my house immediately after this conversation. I swear to God I did. I was like, well, that's it. We're done. They're going to know about all my drug abuse, all my whacking off and all my sex. It's over.

[Rachel]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Coming to you live somewhere north of Atlanta, somewhere near the Gulf of America, right by Lake Micropenis. We're all here. We're all doing it. We're doing the thing. Thanks, Google.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

One day at a time.

[Brian Green]

Another service, another tech oligarchy. Folding. Bending the knee. Yeah. Unbelievable. Wow. Yeah, wow. And Rob Bogojevich is going to get out of jail too. Go. Do you know who that is?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

You don't know who that is? A young and up and coming senator named Bayrak Obama decided he was going to run for president. He was the senator of Illinois.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I know that.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And the governor, Rob Bogojevich.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Was being the governor of Illinois. And now listen, the city of Chicago and Illinois has a long history of corruption, scams, misdeeds, misangles. It's by the way, that's nothing new in government. It's always been happening. But Rob was one of the clearly more scammy governors that the state of Illinois had ever had. And that's saying Something, it's like, it takes a long time. Hey, we're starting to show over. We're gonna do it again.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I like a little drum.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we're gonna do it again. Rob went to jail because after Barack Obama, you know, had to give up the seat to be the President of the United States.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

There was an open seat and the governor got to pick who was going to be the senator. And so Rob decided that he was going to essentially ask many multiple people, lots of different corporations and people and newspapers to give him money in the hopes that they could obtain the seat or something related to the seat. And he also wanted to be in the cabinet. And he also, he was like. And he, he got caught on tape saying all of this. He was asking for bribes for that Senate seat and other things related to that Senate seat. And he got caught red handed on tape asking for multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars. Jobs for him, jobs for his wife. He's not going to give that seat away for free, I think was the exact terminology that he used. That seat is golden. I'm not giving it away for free. He is now pardoned. He is now pardoned. And it looks like he might. One of the things that he was essentially asking for in that whole bribing situation was I'd like to a cabinet position. And in that cabinet position, I'd even like to maybe think about being an ambassador sometime down the line. Because an ambassador is a cush job, especially if you get an ambassadorship to somewhere, you know, Eastern or Western Europe where there's not a lot of drama and you can just go there anytime you want and live a high on the hog and shake hands and kiss babies. There's really nothing to do unless there's some, unless there's some war drama that breaks out in the country, there's nothing to do. An ambassador is a cush job. Everyone wants one. And he wanted an ambassadorship. Well, now there's talk that Trump might make him the ambassador of Serbia. So it turns out all the bribing work, it just took about 15 years.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, that tracks.

[Brian Green]

Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Although I have to say, according to the show, the ambassador. Yes, A lot of drama that goes down. I love that show.

[Brian Green]

You're talking the ambassador. That's. Is it called the. Yeah, but it's. I don't think it's called the ambassador. It's called the Diplomat. Yeah, the Diplomat.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

She's the ambassador.

[Brian Green]

I just have. I stopped watching it. I got into it. I was really into. And then I felt very confined in it like. I felt like we kept running over the same old ground episode after episode.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We talked about this before. You have not seen the ending.

[Brian Green]

I have not seen the ending of the second season, apparently. So very explosive.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I would recommend going back to it.

[Brian Green]

Literally explosive.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Not giving anything else away.

[Brian Green]

I'm asking you. You don't have to worry about it. Why are you. What? Who's gonna. Who cares? Is it like. Is there another explosion? Like in season one? Are we. Do we have yet another explosion?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

No. Okay. All right, That's. I was wondering if you were being literal about being explosive.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The. What happens is explosive, not in the literal way.

[Brian Green]

I will do my best to continue on with the Diplomat because I do love Kerry Russell. She is incredible. Incredibly beautiful, incredibly talented, incredibly good at any acting job that I've ever seen her in. The Americans is one of the best television shows, I think, of the last 25 years. I think anybody who's watched it all the way through would agree. I need to go give that another watch. I haven't. I think that would be rewatchable. You haven't watched the Americans all the way through. Oh, every episode is like a piece.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Of candy about this.

[Brian Green]

You delicious.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The Diplomat. Start back on the Americans.

[Brian Green]

I'm too busy keeping up with Severance. Bailing out loud. I think now I'm watching some Brit box series. I can't remember the name of it, but it's very good. Severance has got me all kind of twisted.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, I know. This episode is crazy.

[Brian Green]

I don't even know what to think about the latest episode. It feels. It was probably the best episode yet of Severance, in my opinion, because. And I'm not going to give anything away, but because we. And I think this would be known even from the trailer of that particular episode, because we go outside of the Lumen wall.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

In. In a way that only Severance could do. And then we have an another explosive episode in Only the way that Severance could do. This is turning out to be one of the best television shows I have ever.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I completely agree.

[Brian Green]

And there are a lot of people I've seen online who are like Severance. I don't believe the hype. Fuck you. The hype is real.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It is.

[Brian Green]

Severance is good. It is well written. There is so many double entendres and secret meanings and Easter eggs and things to be discovered. And that has caused an entire community of people to try and figure out what Severance is all about.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Severance Wiki, I think.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And there's all Kinds of forums on Reddit and it's wild. And then they analyze everything.

[Brian Green]

I'm following them all on Instagram. If you're a good analyzer of Severance, I am currently following you on my personal account because I have to digest all of the different theories. Some of them are very outlandish. There was one where Helly, who's one of the characters in Severance, Helly R. One of the characters in Severance. I know Helly and Helly R. It's just Helly Egan. Helly R. You have to be careful about which one you say because then you start another conspiracy. Right. But that heli was wearing the exact same outfit that Pam was wearing in an episode of the Office. And somebody connected the dots and said there must be some meaning to this. Now, I think that's a little far fetched. I don't think the writers of Severance are watching the. I don't think we're going getting Easter eggs in the Office. It's just like two way far fetched. But that just goes to show how involved people are in. Honestly, the reality is pretty fucking miserable right now. And so any chance to get to get away from reality I think is a, you know, you gotta do it. That's just it. And Severance is way down the rabbit hole. You can completely. The only thing that I wish, and I know they're doing this for a reason, and I get it, it didn't work. Binging didn't work. So now we're back to showing it once a week. I just wish I could binge this particular show. I wish this was. I can deal with it on other shows, but on this show, I. 48 minutes is not enough.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know. I have a friend who's doing that. She's holding off.

[Brian Green]

She's holding off until the entire season.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Is out so she can binge it.

[Brian Green]

Well, she's got more willpower than I do because. But of course, I get addicted to any, you know, I'm ocd. I get addicted to anything I know. Yeah. Speaking of escapism, I read the article, an article that you sent me about how researchers have found from the 17th century, they found a crypt. That crypt was attached to what was then known as one of the most advanced medical facilities, hospitals, that was around, according to historians in Italy, in Milan, Italy. And they were analyzing the brains of about 10,000, some of the material from about 10,000 different bodies that were found in this crypt near this quote unquote hospital. And what they found was stunning to the researchers. They Found cocaine in the brains of some of the people. Two of the people specifically that were in side of this crypt making kind of dating cocaine about 200 years earlier than they believed Europeans would have had access to cocoa leaves out. And they are saying this just like this made me think about a whole bunch of different things. Escapism is part of the human experience in so many different ways. Whether we go out to a nice meal to forget about our woes for a couple of hours or we're drowning our sorrows in some dibbity dabs. Tasty Tina. No matter what your form of escapism is television, playing with your children, making love, music, whatever it is, escapism is necessary. It's necessary for our brains. Going to sleep is a form of escapism too. And it's just our body's needs. Our brains needs to just stop for a minute. Stop all from all of the regular rigamaroo that we go through the commercial break is form of scapism. It's a bad one. I'd rather have a crack problem, quite frankly. There's a lot more. It feels much better to smoke crack than it does to. And I don't know that personally. I'm just saying I've known people who've told me that crack tastes good and it makes you very feel very nice. So I say all of this to say that it's amazing how a few puritanical people can just kind of make a whole class of escapism feel really dirty and nasty. Now I'm just saying addiction is good because people who are going through addiction are really having a hard time. I'm not advocating for addiction, but some escapism here and there is seems necessary. It seems necessary. And the fact that we all get shunned for a lot of different versions of escapism is just yet another like kind of puritan, conservative, Christian type of, you know, downer that's been put all over us. And I want to break free from the chains. I want to break free from the. Break free from the chains. Do a little bit of cocaine when you're watching your children. It makes you feel so much better. I got so much more energy with cocaine. Cocaine is been around for a long time. People have been chewing that leafs. My dad told me a story. My dad used to. He was a commodities trader. But when I say commodities trader, he wasn't like a commodities trader that would trade in paper. He was a commodities trader that would trade in actual commodities. Example, he would buy a hundred thousand head of cattle From Mexico. Ship it. Some buy it, ship it, slaughter it, chop it up, package it, sell it somewhere else in the world. Right. And then make money on the. On the spread, essentially. So. And he did this very successfully for many, many years. Poultry, pork, beef mainly. And so he would visit South American countries often to go make deals with farmers or, you know, cattlemen or herders, ranchers, whatever. And so he went down there one time, and he was. They were driving up a hill, and they stopped for some reason, like, up in the mountains of. I can't remember where. I think it was Colombia, but I'm not really sure. So he's driving up the. The mountains in dirt roads, and they stop for a few minutes to do whatever. And they see these men who are carrying these huge bundles of whatever it is. They are picking whatever, you know, produce. They are picking up the mountain and barefoot. And they're just going. And they're just going, and they're going, and they're going. And so my dad noticed that they had huge wads of leaves in their mouth, chewing them. And of course, the next question is, what are they chewing? What is that? Is that tobacco or what is that? No, it was cocoa leaves. They were getting paid, some of them, in cocoa leaves. That's what they did. They would just chew on cocoa leaves all day, and they would just go, go, go. Little ants marching up and down and up and down. And that was the life that they lived. Day after day, night after night. They would go to work. They would get paid a little bit of money. And I'm not, like, glorifying this. I'm just saying this is the way it was. They would chew these leaves and they would march up the mountain doing the work that they needed to do, relatively, I guess, happy. Because who's gonna complain when you're high in cocaine and you're just, you know, running around. Yeah, I beg for a simple life like that. If I could chew cocaine leaves while coca leaves while I was taking care of my children, if that was not frowned upon by some people, then I might go ahead and do that, Chrissy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, it's part of the culture.

[Brian Green]

It is part of the culture at Publix. Why do I. Why can't I buy coca leaves right next to the bay leaves? Why can't we have that kind of situation set up? Because of puritanicals, that's why. Puritanicals. I don't even know what that means, but I like to say it. And they're keeping me down, Chrissy. They're Pushing me down, and I'm sick of it. I'm taking a stand. I'm going to start buying coca leaves on Silk Road, too. Yeah, guys out of jail. What's that? Silk Road 2 coming. I thought. I thought we were going to get. And now Silk Road. I mean, Silk Road is probably the single reason why bitcoin even exists in any way, shape, or form still to this day. If it wasn't for Silk Road, bitcoin might have just been a flash in the pan, might have been an idea that never really took root. But that Silk Road people found out that this was an excellent way to pay where you could, quote, unquote, not get tracked. But that's not true. Everything is tracked, but you know what I'm saying? So that's Silk Road, too. If you could do us a favor and, like, sell raw cocoa leaves, I could chew the cocoa leaves and lose my teeth, but at least I would be happy. At least it would be a good form of escapism from all the craziness we're seeing day. Like, the Gulf of America. That's crazy to me. That's crazy to me.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I agree.

[Brian Green]

Gulf of America and Google kowtow. And Google bent the knee, by the way. Who is the naming organization? Who does that? Like, isn't there. There's got to be, like, the national, you know, the international map makers of the world.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That rules mean nothing right now.

[Brian Green]

But are there any. The question is, like, are there any rules? Or is that just like a.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It seems like there would be.

[Brian Green]

Is that, like, just a colloquial thing that we say, like, it's the Gulf of Mexico? Because we've always said it's the Gulf of Mexico, but it was really never named the Gulf of Mexico. Do we even know that? How those rules work? Can we just literally say it's no longer called the Gulf of Mexico, apparently, and then change it? Okay, so why don't we start a petition to name it something else? Right? The Margaritaville. The Gulf of Margaritaville. That's what I think we should call it next, the Gulf of Micropenis. How's that? Probably a more apt term for this right now. It really surprises me that Google has done this, and it makes me sad. Apple has not. Not yet, anyway. So Apple Maps, for now, even though they'll make me drive through, you know, a large river to get to the other side of the street, Apple Maps, not so great. Apple Maps, they've gotten much, much better. Yeah, it's much better, but at first, you could literally end up in a river. Yeah. And I think some people did actually remember that there were, like, a couple of ladies who ended up up in the lake. That's Google. Tell them. Apple told them. That's the way to go. If you're. If you're going to be a map maker, make sure you get that part right. You got to be up to date on it. So even though Google has certainly built a reputation for having a great map system, I'm a little bit disappointed that they change it to the Gulf of Mexico, not, I mean, the Gulf of America. Not that I, you know, whatever about Donald Trump. It's just that. Can we just that easily change something that has been around for so many years? And why are we changing it to the Gulf? What is the difference what happens? What happens? Like, all of a sudden, it's America's. I don't know. It's. It's open ocean. It's everybody's, I suppose. Or that's what it's supposed to be, right? Am I right? I mean, back to you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think you're right.

[Brian Green]

Okay, thank you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Of course, it seems completely ridiculous.

[Brian Green]

I'm looking for a little zip, Chrissy. A little zip. I want you to get fired up about this.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

There's a lot of other things to get fired up about, and this is a safe space. This is our sacred space.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We're supposed to be funny.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But golf? Yeah, okay. Be funny. Yeah. Okay. Ready, set, Funny. I mean, all right, but there's some things that penetrate the inside of this space, and Gulf of America is one of them. All right, let's take a break. We'll be back.

[Steve]

Rachel here. While Brian takes his old man bladder to the little boy's room. Let's talk turkey. TCB needs your help. If you love the show, do us all a favor and share. Sharing is caring. And we know you care, don't you? Well, don't you? Oh, that was some childhood trauma rearing its ugly head. Do you want to be on the show? Leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3822 and you could be the next TCD disembodied voice. Ooh, what'd you do today? I was a disembodied voice. You know, that sounds more dangerous than it actually is. Find us on Insta at the commercial break on the [e-mail] and all the episodes on video are available the same [e-mail] TheCommercialBreak I'm gonna go help Brian get back up the stairs while you listen to the sponsors. And then we'll all meet back here and get back to this episode of the commercial break. I'll take a raise now, bitches by.

[Brian Green]

This podcast is brought to you in part by our good friends at Squarespace. I love talking about Squarespace because it's one of the tools that we use in our own business. Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just getting started or you're managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create beautiful websites, engage your audience and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all on your own terms. As a lifelong, sometimes successful entrepreneur, Squarespace has grown with me. Using Squarespace, I've been able to launch multiple websites and even build a business around launching Squarespace websites because they make it easy, it looks super professional and it gives you all of the tools that you need to be successful online. Let me give you a couple examples of those tools. One of our favorites is the new Design intelligence from Squarespace. 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That's Squarespace.com commercialand you'll get 10% off that first purchase of a website or a domain. And thanks to Squarespace for being a continuing sponsor of our small business and the commercial break. Hey you out there in the podcast universe. I'm dropping in to share with you a podcast that I am currently enjoying. I only agree to this a couple times a year because let's face it, I really want all the attention on me and my show. But Odyssey, our network has dropped a true gem. Alright, some free word association here, young adults looking to have the time of their life, Billions of dollars in free flowing revenue. Secret administrators who will do anything to avoid bad press and cover ups with endless twist, twists and turns. Put them all together, mix them up and you've got the wild universe of college Campus life. And now the Odyssey Original Podcast Campus Files takes a deep dive into some of the wildest scandals that have taken place within colleges and universities across this country. While these universities are attracting some of America's brightest minds, some of the most absurd things are happening there. The rigged admissions, the sports scandals, and of course, a good Greek life drama. Who doesn't enjoy a good Greek life drama? The Campus Files podcast is exposing stories you will not hear on the campus tours. Listen and follow Campus Files, an Odyssey Original Podcast available now on the free Odyssey app or wherever you're listening to podcasts and thanks to Odyssey for supporting good content and great content creators. This episode is sponsored in part by shipstation. Well, if you've been listening to the commercial break over the holidays, then you know that Chrissy, Christina and I have been hard at work knocking out out 25 episodes in one single month. So we understand just how chaotic a business can be. So when you're running an e commerce business, you understand there's a special kind of chaos that goes on with fulfillment and shipping. But ShipStation is one service that you can count on to help you remain calm day to day when it comes to any and all of your fulfillment needs. You've got to focus on the parts of your business that grow the business and then let Shipstation handle the rest. Shipsation makes it easy to automate shipping tasks and manage orders from one simple dashboard. And as the old adage goes, analytics are everything. You can scale your business faster because of ShipStation's robust automation and reporting system. Listen, here's the best part. You can save thousands on shipping with industry leading discounts from their cutting Edge Rate Shopper, UPS, DHL, Federal Express and USPS. Rates can be up to 88% off when you use ShipStation and most importantly, you'll deliver a better customer experience. Experience. Over 130,000 companies have grown their e commerce business with ShipStation and 98% of those companies have stuck around with ShipStation. Now it's your turn. Calm the chaos of order fulfillment with the shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use the code commercial to sign up for your free trial. That shipstation.com code Commercial thanks to ShipStation for being a sponsor of the Commercial break. Do you remember Armie Hammer?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Do you remember that? Armie Hammer? The whole situation with the cannibalism, of course, potential sexual assault. And the rope tying. What do they call that? Japanese rope tying.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You got a tana?

[Brian Green]

There's a. There's a couple of them.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Hentai. Hentai and shibari.

[Brian Green]

Well, shibari is a rope tying, isn't. Hentai is the style of. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That includes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. People refer to tying as hentai.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Shibari is part of the hentai.

[Brian Green]

Oh, did not know that. You learn something new every day. That shibari. He was doing that shabari shit. By the way, I see a lot of, like, shibari reels out there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

People getting tied up. Like, you know, consensually tied up. There's two women specifically, that I see doing a lot of reels, and they're like, okay, what are we gonna do today? And it's like, oh, a light noose. We're gonna do a light noose. And I'm like, that's fucking scary. A light noose. It doesn't. It doesn't sound light. You don't say light noose. Light. It's like saying, I'm gonna have a light creme brulee for dinner. You can't do that. It doesn't work like that. It's. It. To me, it feel. I would be nervous about that kind of tying up, but there are consensual adults who know how to do this. Yeah, It's a whole thing, and it's very complicated, and it's almost an art form in and of itself. And while it doesn't look comfortable to me, it doesn't, you know, get. You know, it doesn't squeeze my balls. That doesn't mean that it's. That it's totally out of bounds. But Armie Hammer was really shunned by the whole Hollywood community. Armie Hammer, of course, the guy who started the Social Network and the Social Network. And he was also in the Social Network. He was. Didn't he play the Winklevoss twins? I think that's who he played is the Winklevoss twins. And he got shunned by the whole Hollywood community because there was a lot of talk that he was into cannibalism, that he had brought some girls to a random motel in the desert and mistreated them, potentially sexually assaulted them. I don't know that that was ever brought to a conclusion. He's not in jail, I'll tell you that much right now. And then somebody, he. He, like, went down to his family's estate on a. In the Caribbean.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And then people were finding him being a real estate agent, like trying to sell time shares down in the Caribbean. Am I right about that story? Yeah, I think I got that right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. And then he left. He got divorced.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And she stayed down there and was on this reality show that I watched.

[Brian Green]

What was the reality show?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's like paradise.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

All Grand Cayman. Yeah. Yeah, I just watched it recently. Yeah, I shot it on Hulu. I was like, what's this? Oh, okay. And it was Armie Hammer's ex wife.

[Brian Green]

Very interesting. Okay. All right. So the guy was down there, he was selling and he was, he was really on the outs with everybody but Army. But everything old is new again and everybody gets a second shot because every. People love a comeback story. And Armie Hammer is at a podcast out there probably for, I'm going to guess, almost a year now. And it's all about Armie Hammer. It's all about Armie Hammer. It's Armie Hammer on Armie Hammer. It's a very meta podcast. And what army does is he invites people to come in and tell him how they feel about him, including his mother, his father, his friends. He's had some celebrities on there. They had Gillian Barbary and I can't remember who else, but he's had some people out there who have come and they've really read him the riot act. And I don't know if this is one big jerk off. Armie Hammer on Armie Hammer. You know, it feels, feels very jerky offy, like, you know, kind of just feeding your ego even more. But there are certainly interesting moments that I've seen, at least on reels. I haven't listened to the podcast, but I've seen it on reels. And he's, he's, I guess, laying it all out there. He's kind of trying to tell people exactly his side of the story, what went wrong, why he's got some mental deficiencies, what he's into, you know, some self reflection, I guess, if that. It. It seems to me that army might be a narcissist. Right. And that this is just yet another narcissistic attempt to feed his ego. But I don't know that. I'm just assessing it from a, from a distance way far away. I'm not getting anywhere near Armie Hammer. But the interesting thing is, is that a couple of days ago, Armie Hammer was interviewed by somebody for a podcast. And the question was, who would, what directors would you Work with. And army said I'd work with Woody Allen. If I sat down and decided that, you know, he was a good of good character. Yeah, I'd do a movie with fucking Woody Allen.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

And I was like, oh, okay, there's the kettle calling the pot. I mean, what an interesting combo. That's a movie I might watch Army. Woody Allen does Armie Hammer. I mean, I don't know. I don't know that Armie Hammer is in like the Woody Allen. And you know, say what you will about Woody Allen, he has made some movies with some of the most incredible actors of any time. Since he's been directing movies, he's got a complicated personal history like a lot of artists do. We've been talking about this a lot on the show lately because it's an interesting question. Do you separate the art from the artist? And I think in some cases, yes. And I think in other cases it might be hard to do that because your personal feelings kind of get in the way of the art. Woody Allen is one of those people that for a long time I just have some complicated feelings about Woody Allen screwing his adopted daughter in. Marrying her like that to me feels way out of line, way out of bounds. And if you. Did you ever watch that movie about Woody Allen, the documentary about that done by Farrow did that Mia Farrow did with her son Ronan, I think.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Is it Ronan Farrell? Yes. Yeah, that was a. Yeah, that was disturbing. It was disturbing. And there didn't seem to be a lot of redemption going on or apologies or self reflection on the part of Woody. He seemed to be pretty resolute that nothing. He did nothing wrong. And that to me feels almost borderline weird.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It does feel weird.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So now put Armie Hammer and Woody. I don't know about Harvey Hammer either. There's been no conclusion there either. And he doesn't seem all that apologetic about anything either. However, if you take those two dumb shits and you put them together in a room to make a movie that might be interesting to watch. I'm just saying it might be interesting to watch.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It might be.

[Brian Green]

It's like slowing down to look at a car crash. It's possible someone's hurt in there, but at the end of the day, you're gonna rubberneck. Everybody does. You're gonna rubber neck. Why do we do that? Why do we look? Why is it that these kind of things become attractive to us?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Because you just wanna know.

[Brian Green]

You just wanna know whether. You just wanna know whether or not someone body.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The natural curiosity yeah, it really is.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. What. You know, and what do you think about. We spent a couple of these. Louis C.K. back on the road doing comedy. He's got. They've got a new documentary out about him.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

They do?

[Brian Green]

Yes, they do.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Where's that?

[Brian Green]

I think it's on Hulu, if I'm not mistaken. I don't know if it's out or it's coming out. I saw a trailer for it where one of the girls was saying, yeah, it was pretty well known you'd go to a party. Louis CK Was there, you know, some people in the corner doing coke, a couple people over here smoking weed. You know, a couple of the people having one too many cocktails. And then Luis would be in the corner whacking off. And it's like, really, Dad?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't get it.

[Brian Green]

I don't get it at all. That's a weird predilection. If there's one thing that I'd rather no one ever see, including my wife, it's me whacking off. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Thing that's uglier than Brian's sex face. It's Brian's sex face in the mirror. Okay. I just don't. No one needs to see that. And why you would think that that's like. Well, why that turns you on, I have no idea. Who wants to see you? No one. It's not a thing. It's not a thing. But Louis CK Back on the road, you know, a lot of these people who were canceled are getting a second shot at. At reclaiming some of that magic that put them there in the first place. Now, I don't know that Louis CK Will ever be the draw. He. I just think there's too many people who think that what he did was kind of creepy. And there's no amount of apologies that's gonna wash that away from their brain. But there's also a lot of people who just don't get. You know, it's like, whatever. He. He did what he did, and he apologized, and I guess we all move on. How do you feel about that?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I. I mean, I was never a big Louis CK fan, so he was.

[Brian Green]

Never my favorite comedian. Yeah, but I mean, how do you feel about some of these people coming back into the lexicon? Like, coming back into the fold? Does that bother you? Do you think if someone is canceled for reasons that. That are enough to cancel them, they should stay away?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, I mean, I think he. People can try.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. They can make the apology to her. Yeah, I agree with you. I think that, you know, there's some things you can't come back from marrying your daughter. There's some things you can't come back from.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Right. And then there's other things that, while disgusting and weird, are forgivable at some point. Whacking off in front of people. Probably not my first choice of a party church. But I totally understand. But I totally understand that everyone's into their own thing. Right. And might be rope tying.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Might be whacking off in a plant at a party.

[Brian Green]

And do you get consent? Do you walk around to the other people at the party? Do you mind if I jizz in the plant?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't think so. Do you mind if I think it was spontaneous jizzing?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You think it was spontaneous jizzing?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

You think he just got off stage and in the green room, he's like, hey, just give me a second. I'll be over here just pulling my pun.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It sounds like it.

[Brian Green]

That's so weird. So weird. And what is he thinking about? And what is going. Is there lubrication involved? He's just spitting on his hand. Like, the. All the minutiae behind that really got me thinking one night. It was like, a couple of years ago when this whole thing came out. I was like, what is he doing? Like, what is the whole process? Here he goes in the corner, he drops trout. He just spit on his hand and start whacking off. And what does he think? Is he looking at people? Are you looking at somebody? Because if you're looking at somebody, then it takes it up to another level of disgusting. But if you're just, like, hiding in the corner.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think he was looking at people. Yeah, I think he was, too, then to go back and read the articles.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Wasn't like, from the women that were there.

[Brian Green]

Wasn't it someone famous, too, that he did that in front of Amy. Was it Amy Schumer? I don't want to misspeak here.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Because Brian gets it wrong all the time. I don't want Amy to be shamed. And to. To Louis CK's masturbation shenanigans, if that was not it, I don't know if.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It was Amy Schumer.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But I feel like somebody would have.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Been all over talking about it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's true. I think she. I'm taken. Yeah. It's just like a. It's. That's a weird prediction. So anyway, so Louis ck. Okay. Right. Go make your apology to her. And if people Find you funny. Well, I guess it's not the worst thing in the world, whacking off in front of people. Unless of course, you're staring at them strangely. But then there's other stuff that you just can't come back from. We're separating the. And that's. Those are situations where I think it's okay to separate the art from the artists. Like, okay, Louise, CK clearly has some weird glitch in his head where he thinks whacking off in front of people is something that's interesting or makes him horny. But then there's people like, let's take. Who's the director? Harvey Weinstein. Harvey Weinstein, you can't separate.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I mean, he was a full blown predator.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that guy was like the worst of the worst of the worst.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Completely used his power.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but man, what he wanted. But, man, did his production company, Miramax Films, make some really, really great films. And I'm not gonna stop watching the films because Harvey Weinstein, I don't think we're putting dollars in. Are we putting dollars in Weinstein's pocket when we're watching those films? Films? I don't know, maybe his brother, but I'm telling you, family. Yeah, his family. But that guy can rot in jail for all I care. Like, you know, he doesn't need to come back and produce any more movies on my behalf, no matter how many apologies he has. Doesn't seem like the guy's got much longer to go anyway. Yeah, Rob Schneider is another example. You remember that? Rob Schneider?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I mean, I remember Rob Schneider. What happened with him again?

[Brian Green]

Copy guy? Rob Schneider went total, like, crazy conspiracy theorist extremist on the right side. Ok, whatever. Whatever your political beliefs are. But he has gotten. He has left or gotten kicked out of multiple venues for like yelling and screaming crazy shit. I'm talking like shit I don't even want to repeat here on the show. Crazy, crazy shit. And people walk out of his appearances. Even people who are inclined to feel the same way about his political beliefs walk out of the show. It's too much for them. It's way too much for them. So he walks out. So. But Rob Schneider, but he keeps on getting. He keeps on getting gigs. People are. Keep on setting him up with more gigs. Now listen, that in and of itself, you know, whatever, I guess you just have to be into that kind of comedy if you're into that kind of comedy. But he's been canceled by both the right and the left. The guy, the guy has managed.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm surprised he's just about everybody bookings.

[Brian Green]

You know who's still in the doghouse? Kramer. Kramer's still in the doghouse. Yeah, he did an apology tour there. For a while there that didn't seem to soothe anything over. But he went haywire one night too. He really did. This all leads me to say Kanye. Yee. Yay. Are you reading about Ye?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I. Just a little here and there. I mean, it's. Yeah, it seems completely crazy.

[Brian Green]

He sold T shirts the night of the super bowl with swastikas on it and then tweeted, I'm a Nazi. Take that, bitches. Oh, okay. Ye. All right. So regardless of how you. Regardless of how I have ever felt about Ye's music, there is zero opportunity for that guy to ever make an apology to her. In my mind, of course. Game over.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Canceled by Brian Forbes. Do what you want to do. Listen to what you want to listen to, think of what you want to think to. But I say done with. Yay. I mean, swastika is too far. It's just too far. You've gone too far. You're selling T shirts with swastikas on them. What in the good fuck are you thinking? Yay. Simmer down. And you even told me, and I went back and looked at it, that his wife is like on an apology tour behind him. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But then I read something this morning that said. She said she didn't say that.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Something crazy. I don't know. I'm stubbing away from the crazy.

[Brian Green]

Wait, now she's saying that she didn't say that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I saw a blurb this morning and I was gonna click on it. Then I was like, I'm just done with it.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so she made an apology and now Bianca. What's her last name?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Sensory.

[Brian Green]

Sensory. Let's read about this for just one second. Kanye West. Bianca Sensory argued on Grammy night sensori. Rip Denies cry for help after husband's Kanye hate filled tirade. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So yes, we have reached out to X to get the account unverified or banned. Apparently a dummy account is running around saying things on behalf of Bianca. Yeah, there's no amount of apologies, Bianca to. To soothe over your dumb, dumb boyfriend's trolling bullshit. It's just over. Like, it's too much. I agree with you. Enough with Kanye. Let's just be done with Kanye. Can maybe we take like a decade long break from Kanye and check back on his mental health after he has, and this is no joke, after he gets some medication that can clearly Set him straight. The interesting thing about Kanye is that I read that he obviously deals with. With mental health issues. He said that before. Right. And he said that he was once diagnosed with bipolar, but then another psychiatrist came in and said, no, you're not bipolar. There's a different thing going on with you, and you should take this different set of medications. To which Kanye said, I don't really want to take those medications because they stomp on my creativity. Which, Okay, I get it. But when your creativity is the vehicle upon which you're delivering the message and your unchecked mind is going haywire, you might need to find a balance there between medications and your creativity, because the things you are saying are absolutely disgusting. And if you're trolling us, cool, whatever. Then I'm just gonna ignore it altogether. But if that's really where your brain is going, then I think you definitely need to find some new medications that can help you straighten that out. And mental health is no joke. We've talked about it a lot on the show, and I don't want to make fun of. You know, I don't want to make light of somebody's mental health issues, but when you're that far off the gravy train, someone's got to pull you back on the tracks. Something has to pull you back on the tracks. Therapy, medication, friends and family, a combination of. And I think that's probably part of the. Part of the problem, too, is that Kanye is so famous, he. In his own mind, he probably can't trust anybody. And he's like. He's just so in his own bubble. There's no one there to burst it. No one is going to burst it because everybody else is on the. Around him is probably on the Kanye gravy train, too. They put up with it because they're getting paid to put up with it. And they want to be around Kanye. And I'm sure there's some people that actually love Kanye and know that somewhere deep down, there's somebody in there that they like. We know this because we've dealt with people who have mental health issues. There are people. Sometimes the people that we love are not the people that we like, if you understand what I'm saying. The people that we love are somewhere in there, but the people we don't like happen to be here right now. Right. And that's just a complicated part of mental health. But as far as ye is concerned and Brian is concerned, Ye, we're broken up. It's a done deal. You're done with it no mas. And Bianca, I have some clothes for you to wear. That's all I gotta say. You can walk around like that here at the house, but when you go out of the house, I'm just gonna kindly ask you to cover your clitoris. It's a rule in the Green household.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's a good one.

[Brian Green]

Tell you more about our rules when we get back. Take a break.

[Steve]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of have us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the Commercial break.

[Brian Green]

This episode is sponsored in part by Chime Credit. With everything getting more expensive these days, the last thing you want to do is rack up high interest credit card debt. That's why I'm very excited to share a smarter way to manage your finances. The Chime Credit Builder Visa Credit Card Card the Chime Credit Builder Card is a secured credit card with no annual fees, no interest, and no credit check to apply. It's a tool that lets you build your credit with the money you set aside so no surprises and no expensive debt. And here's a bonus. With Chime's My Pay feature, you can get access to up to $500 of your paycheck before payday with no mandatory fees. Imagine just how helpful that could be for covering unexpected expenses or staying ahead of your budget. Turn your everyday purchases into steps toward financial Go with Chime Secure Credit Card. Get started [e-mail] commercial that's chime.com commercial Chime feels like progress. The Chime Credit Card Builder Visa credit card is issued by the Bancor Bank NA or Stride bank na. Spot ME eligibility requirements and overdraft limits do apply. Out of network ATM withdrawal and OTC advance fees may apply. Late payments may negatively impact your credit score. Results may vary. MyPay eligibility requirements do apply. Apply. Credit limits range from $20 to $500. Go to Chime.com disclosures for more details. Start working toward your financial goals. Go to chime.com commercial and thanks to Chime Credit for being a sponsor of the commercial break.

[Chrissy]

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[Brian Green]

Hey, we are coming up on five, I mean five, 700 episodes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes, we are.

[Brian Green]

Did you know that?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I did.

[Brian Green]

Wow, that's amazing. I think that 700 episode is to come out on your birthday. Actually, it is lucky number seven. Maybe this is the year we make some money. We'll see. You know, we don't have a great string of luck here at the commercial break.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We're going to keep trying.

[Brian Green]

Hey, listen, at 700, what are we going to do now? What? There's no going back at 700 hours. You're in. You're in for a penny. You're in for a pound. And I have to tell you that it's official. My secret is out. My neighbors now know about the podcast. Some folks at Starbucks know About the podcast, I've asked them to keep it low key. I've asked them to say I verified it. Well, they verified it and red faced, I turned around and walked out of the building without getting my cup of coffee. I said, well, it's been nice knowing you, thanks very much. I was over at my neighbors out, the good neighbors, the great neighbors over next year. I was over there and. The good neighbors. Yeah, the good neighbors. Oh my God, you know what happened the other day? I was. Do you remember carpet squash, carpet trunk squash lady. Yes, the lady who kept on bringing produce that didn't look so hot over to the house and wanted me to eat it. And I was nervous about all of it. Sweet lady, a little bit off. This the same lady who threw the air conditioner out of the window thinking that was going to solve the problem for the broke. The broken air conditioner wasn't going to get better once you threw it out the second story window. But okay, whatever. They're a little bit older and they're having. So the other day I see the husband walking across the street over through the grass and I think to myself, well, that's strange. He's never been over, right? He's never come over to say anything.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, he was walking into your grass.

[Brian Green]

He was walking into my grass toward the house. So, you know, I, I met him out halfway because he's a little bit older. It looked like he was struggling to walk. I didn't, you know, I, I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to make life a little bit easier for him. So I put on shoes and I run out there and I say, hey man, how you doing? And he goes, well, listen, my wife, she's fallen and she's on the floor and I can't lift her up. I'm just too old and weak. And I said, oh, okay, do you want me to call somebody? You know, do you want me to call somebody? He said, no, I don't think she wants to go nowhere. She just needs to get up. Do you think you could help me pick her up? And I'm like, oh man, you're asking the wrong guy to pick somebody up. I mean, look at me, what do I look like? But you know, being the dutiful neighbor, neighbor. I said, okay, head over and I'll be there and just let me change and I'll be over there in a second. And so I go over there and this poor lady is laying like almost face down in the floor and she has some health issues, you know. I don't want to get into their personal business, but she has some health issues. And she had been at the hospital for, like, nine months. Hadn't seen her in a long time. She'd been at the hospital for, like, nine months, a long time. And so I had to lift. So I pull her up off the floor to kind of a sitting position.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I'm, like, going to, like, grab her arms and say, okay, let's. Let's get up really slowly. When she explains, I can't even use my legs. You gotta pick me up and put me in this. In this chair.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

And I thought to myself, oh, shit, this is where it all goes wrong. I'm not strong. I don't know how to do these things.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

She had broken something when she fell. That could be.

[Brian Green]

It didn't look like she was in pain. She wasn't, like, crying or wincing or anything like that. It took all of my might to get her up into. All of my might to get her up into a chair. Like, dead weight is. Is dead weight is dead weight. It's really hard to lift up. So anyway, so I put her on the chair and I said, hey, let me call the ambulance. Let's get somebody out here to take a look at you. And she said, I'm not going back to that hospital. I'm not going back to that hospital. And I thought, well, you got to respect her wishes, I guess. So I said, here. Here's my cell phone. Next time, just call me. Don't take the walk all the way over the street, because I'm afraid that guy's not going to make it over. He's, like, shuffling with his feet. And those cars are going, you know, 80 miles per hour down that road. They don't give a shit. They'll hit that poor old guy anyway. So we're all standing out there and the kids are running around and talking to the good neighbors. And I say, and one of the neighbors comes out. One of the adults in the. In the house comes out, and she says, hey, you have been a source of entertainment at our house. I just want you to know that. And I thought to myself, here we go. The cat's out of the bag. The good neighbors know. And now it's time to move. I almost put a for sale sign out in front of my house. House immediately after this conversation. I swear to God, I did. I was like, well, that's it. We're done. They're going to know about all my drug abuse, all my whacking off and all my sex, it's over. I. I might as well just have people living here at my house. Everyone could see what's going on. And she said, yeah, you know, I didn't know that you were doing a podcast of, like, a comedy podcast where you were interviewing.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I wondered what you did, though.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. She was like, I thought you were in real estate. I thought you were in, like, the financing business. And I said, I was. That's why we call it the commercial break. I said, the actual. The first episode of the commercial break that you can no longer find was about commercial real estate. But I just decided I didn't want to talk about real estate 24 hours a day. And she said, oh, I listened to one of your episodes, and I had no idea. And I thank God this was the thing that she said, because there were, like, children standing there. Like her children, too. She was like, I had no idea that Keanu Reeves was not the first choice for the Matrix. And now, remembering the episode where we talked about that, it's a rather benign episode. And I thought to myself, well, that's a good episode. That is a good episode for you and I to recommend to people.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

To people. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Say, just listen to that episode. Just that one. Don't go anywhere else.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right?

[Brian Green]

Just. We should have a separate. And then I thought about this, walking back over to the house, figuring out how I move, or quickly figure out how the commercial break cannot show up at their house. I said to myself, we should have a separate RSS feed where it's the same name, the same picture, the same everything, but it's only got a couple of episodes. And those episodes are like you and I talking about therapy. You know, like self help therapy. All good groceries. That's what we should talk about. No Kanye, no penises, no clitorises. Just us having a very friendly conversation for 20 or 30 minutes. Then when people. We don't want to know about the podcast. Find out about the podcast, we can direct them to that dummy RSS feed where they'll be none the wiser.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Fantastic idea.

[Brian Green]

They'll be none the wise. How would they ever know? There's no difference in the look. There's no. We'll even start with the same opening music. They'll be like, this is great. Brian's doing great things over there. Look at him. He's helping people.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He's a life coach.

[Brian Green]

I am a life coach. Oh, we got a lot of feedback about that one. A lot of feedback about that. That one. We actually got a pushback from a Couple of people who noted that, you know, life coaches are like therapists. They are there to help you in tough times and help guide you. And it's not always, you know, someone trying to scam you out of money. I didn't say it was always about scamming you out of money. But if you want to have a life coach like a therapist, get a therapist. Someone who's actually been licensed to do the work. Work. I'm not saying all life coaches are bad in every circumstance. I'm saying that not everybody can be a life coach. When someone's 26 years old without having lived any life and they want to be a life coach, I just have a hard time swallowing that pill.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

When you haven't even left your mom and dad's house, but you're a Jay Shetty life coach, what exactly does that mean? What life have you lived that makes you qualified to do that? There are people on this earth that I would take life advice from. Is Kris Kristofferson still alive?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

Well, when he was, I would have accepted him as a life coach. Kris Kristofferson, who else? Who's another wise figure? Oprah, Dennis Leary. Oprah is a. Would be a good life coach. Maybe even her friend Gail, because Gail seems like she's been there every step of the way. Has a best friend ever made out better in history than Gail did?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

I'm just wondering. She's like, now making $20 million a year as the morning co host of this Morning on CBS or whatever it is never in the history of ever as. I'm sorry, Chrissy, that's just not going to happen to you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm still waiting.

[Brian Green]

That's not going to be Chrissy's lot in life. Chrissy's like, if I hitch my wagon to Brian, I'll be like, gail, I'll be doing the morning shows while Brian.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We need to go on a road trip. Didn't they go on, like, some kind of road trip and that kind of really got people into Gail?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I think there was always, like, yeah, Oprah always would mention Stedman and Gail. It would. They were constant conversation points. But I think you're right about this. There was like a coming out party for Gail on the Oprah Winfrey show back in the early 2000s, where everybody decided, oh, this Gale lady she's talking about is pretty cool. Let's get her out there in front of everybody. And let's face it, Oprah owns her own production company. So Oprah. Oprah knighted a bunch of people she knighted Dr. Oz. Thanks, Oprah. She knighted Dr. Phil. Thanks, Oprah. I think she knighted Gail. Okay, we can accept that one. Who else did she knight? Wasn't there one other person that kind of became famous because of Oprah? I'm sure a number of people went into Lexi because of Oprah, but I'm thinking of her production company more specifically. Oh, Edgar Tolle.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Became a household name, I think in part because of Oprah. Dr. Wayne Dyer was on the Oprah show a couple of times also. You know, these are people. Eckhart Tolle. I would take life coaching from Eckhart. That's a person I would take life coaching from. Debbie, who's in her junior year of college, is not someone I would take life coaching advice from. I'm sorry, it's. That's, that's my point. My point is, is that everybody becomes a life coach without any life experience or any kind of, you know, road rash. Then what do they really know? I think good therapists, good life coaches, people in your life who give you good advice. The reason why they give you good advice is because they have seen a thing or two and that makes them. That gives them some wisdom. That's the definition of wisdom, right?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

What is the definition of wisdom? Am I just making that up now?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It sounds right.

[Brian Green]

Okay, thank you. You know what would be a good life coach?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's kind of almost like a paid friend in a way.

[Brian Green]

A therapist?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, a life coach. Sorry, my voice. I have no idea what's going on.

[Brian Green]

Chrissy, do we have to have a conversation about your late night party?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It was not late night.

[Brian Green]

At what time? What time did you get in last night?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I was home by like 10:30.

[Brian Green]

10:30 is a little late on a school night. Chrissy, I'd like you in bed by 9:15.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It is worth it to go see the Led Zeppelin movie, which I highly recommend in imax. Yes.

[Brian Green]

Am I right about this? That's the only way it's showing why in imax? What was it all about?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It was great.

[Brian Green]

And what was the movie about?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, it was about the beginning of Led Zeppelin. Like how each one of them began their lives. And then the making of the first two records.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so it's like a documentary covering that first couple of years of. Of Led Zeppelin in imax so that you can see all of Robert Plant.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I guess so, yeah. In his tight jeans.

[Brian Green]

So you can see the penis in IMAX 3D.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I guess maybe the sound and the way the screen curved.

[Brian Green]

Was it crowded?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, it wasn't. On a Monday night.

[Brian Green]

Where did you go? Which IMAX did you go to?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Atlantic Station.

[Brian Green]

The Atlantic Station. Imax. Very cool. So not crowded on a Monday night. So you and Jeff had the Run of the Roost.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And two other friends, too.

[Brian Green]

Oh, two other friends. That was a four. All right. And so. And it was well done. It was a good documentary.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That was great.

[Brian Green]

Everybody talks except for the dead one.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Oh, wow. Wow. Okay.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's the first actually authorized documentary on Led Zeppelin.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Led Zeppelin has been weird about that stuff. I think Robert Plant and Jimmy Page both do not like to be fluffed up a lot, which I give them some credit. Jimmy Page and Robert Plant, life coaches. There you go. Those two. Those are life coaches. I would take. And Vince Neil. That's another one. I would take life coaching.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Vince was involved in the plane crash.

[Brian Green]

Well, Vince's plane was involved in the plane crash, yeah. In case you don't know, there have been a string of plane accidents. Now, one might say plane accidents happen all the time. They're just being covered more often because, of course, the terrible situation that happened when the helicopter. The army helicopter and the plane crashed into each other, leaving 68 people dead.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And so there's a lot of focus on air traffic and aviation right now. But this really was a weird event out in Reno. Was it Phoenix? Phoenix.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It was Arizona.

[Brian Green]

Arizona. Okay. In Arizona, where a private plane veered off the Runway and smacked into another parked private plane. Very weird for this to happen. Maybe they lost control. I'm not. I mean, obviously they lost control. I don't know why they lost control, but one person dead. Two people to the hospital to find out that this is one. One of the planes owned by Vince Neil.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know. I didn't realize he was a plane owner.

[Brian Green]

That Motley Crue cash is good, apparently.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes, it is.

[Brian Green]

People still paying a lot of money to go see old Vince in his beer belly rolling around stage trying to remember the lyrics to his own fucking most famous song. They're the one to call.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Out of breath.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's out of breath because he doesn't walk anywhere. He takes private planes. That guy is unbelievable. How do you have multiple private planes? That's. You have to have a lot of money to have multiple. It's a Lear jet, too. A Learjet. Cool. Couple million bucks easy. That doesn't include any of the costs associated with maintaining a plane. Vince was not in the plane. It was a company that he. He has a holding company for his jets.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Wow. Wow. Motley Crue cash must have been really, really good.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He actually did something with it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he actually just. Does Tommy Lee have a plane? I don't know. I don't know. But I will say this. I will say this. The Motley Crue reunion tour was one of the most successful reunion tours of all time. So didn't they go out? Was Motley Crue and was it Guns N Roses?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think so. There were a couple of them, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Poison tour. Poison reunion tour not as successful. Motley Crue, very successful. Smash mouth. Not getting back together. That guy died.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Just. I just wanted to give you a little. I wanted to give you a little information on what's coming up this summer, because festival season's right around the corner, and we all want to know who's going to be the big festival headliners this year. Well, it looks like some of our old favorites are on the. On the lineup. Pearl, James Fish. Fish and Pearl Jam. Who's playing in Mempho this year?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, that's not announced yet.

[Brian Green]

Oh, you can't give us, like, the inside track.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, but you can't give us a few details, But Riverbeat is out. Missy Elliott's headlining it. Killers. The Killers.

[Brian Green]

And I do like the Killers.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I do like the Killers, too.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

A little Anderson Paak.

[Brian Green]

Okay. All right. Fanfare.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Cage the Elephant. Ludacris.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Those are just off the top of my head. Got a little yacht rock review.

[Brian Green]

Yacht rock review. Look at that. Boys from Atlanta going over to Memphis to play a game. Man, I'll tell you what, those guys, they're also making bank.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And all they do is play cover tunes. Yacht rock. Cover tunes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's fun.

[Brian Green]

Of course, I don't know if I could get up every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night and play sailing and still be sane. But I think yacht rock review has structured themselves in a way where people just kind of turn in and out of the band. It's like a corporation. And different people fill the roles over time. I could be mistaken. I think a couple of them have been around since the beginning, but I think that's the way it is. But they really. Kevin reminded me the other day that him and I went and saw Pink Floyd. Dark side of the Moon, done by Yot Rock at the Variety Playhouse. Can't say it was my favorite version of Dark side of the Moon, but it wasn't terrible either. They're very talented musicians. They did their thing.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I used to see them all the time. They would be playing down at the Piedmont Park. Park Place.

[Brian Green]

The Tavern. The Park Tavern.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Park Tavern.

[Brian Green]

Ah, the good old Park Tavern. Yeah. I did a chili cook off there once. I produced chili cook off. Jam Land Productions did. Jam Lands Productions. Put put together the first ever and the last ever.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You guys were so. I mean, you were renaissance.

[Brian Green]

We were ahead of our time.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You were fashion, chili cook off.

[Brian Green]

Fashion, yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You were the Frankie B.

[Steve]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

Lifestyle, fitness, fashion and fun, plus chili cook offs. It's a whole thing. Yeah, listen, we dipped our tentacles in everything. Any place we thought we could lose money, we'd be there in a heartbeat. And you wanted to lose money? We were there with you. Don't worry, we'll put in some too. No problem. That chili cook off went over like a Led Zeppelin, I'll tell you that much. It was the first annual and the last annual Park Tavern chili cook off. And we had a lot of bands play. We spent a lot of money on. On it. And a lot of people came out and cooked chili. Unfortunately, not a lot of people showed up. Beautiful Saturday afternoon.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm surprised.

[Brian Green]

No, I think we got like 300 people in there and we wanted like 3,000.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Such a central place.

[Brian Green]

It is. And. And it was great. And it was like 20 bucks to get in. And I think, if I'm not mistaken, we had cracker play. Oh, like camper van Beethoven or cracker play, because, you know, they're local, they're in Athens. Right. And so if I'm not mistaken, I think that's who played. There were maybe 100 people in front of the St.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Surprising, I have to say, because there's chili cook offs all around Atlanta that have been going on for years that are in less of a more desirable spot.

[Brian Green]

Right. Beautiful place right there on Piedmont Park. Been around forever. Everybody knows it. Huge facility, cold beer, lovely staff. You got the whole thing. And it was a nice spring afternoon and it just didn't go well. Yeah, I got the golden touch. I got the golden touch. By gold you mean dog shit. Everything that you get from gold turns to poopoo. Pee pee poo poo. Midas had the golden touch. Brian has the pee pee poo poo touch. Pee pee poo poo. So I decided to drink. That's what I did. I drank. Ended up throwing up in the park. Corner of the park. But I did get laid that night. I do remember that much. So there you go.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

After you threw up.

[Brian Green]

Well, long after I threw up. Yeah. Well, when you throw up, that. That gives you more room for more beer. And then you just Go back into it. You drink yourself sober, and then pretty soon you're, you know, you're Romeo. Hey, baby, you're a lover. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Nothing like chili.

[Brian Green]

Nothing like chili, cigarettes and Bud Light breath to get you all hot. And Bob, are you ready for the best three minutes of your life? Okay, start the clock. I'll be right back. What do we had, a minute and a half? I'm coming in. I'm coming in hot. Here I come. There I go. All right. Ah, the chili kickoff. Everything turned to lost a bunch of money, never invited back. But I got laid. And that, my friends, is the moral of the story. You want a life coach. I got experience for you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

There you go. You could be a life coach. You have lived a lot of lives.

[Brian Green]

People have told me before, they've said, I could. I would pay for this advice. And then they never take it. So it's like, okay, all right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I could be a life coach. Life coach in some.

[Brian Green]

And you've been mine and Tina and, you know, lots of people come in with wisdom at times, but I don't think I want to be anybody's life. I think. I think you have to have some success in life, too. Like, you have to have all the failures, but then you also have to have some successes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You can be your kid's life coach.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Hey, hey, listen, I am my kid's life coach. Take my kid today. He's got like. I don't want to get into all the details, but he's going to go on. They have like a more morning meeting of the entire school every day. And he's gonna be. He's gonna stand up there, he's gonna hold the American flag while they say the Pledge of Allegiance. It's a big deal, right, to be the flag holder at such a young age. You know, it was like, you know. And so the teacher sends all the information out and she says, yeah, parents, if you want to come, please feel free to come to watch your kid do the Pledge of Allegiance flag holdership. It's different days, different kids. And I was like, wow, put it in the calendar. Get up this morning. Everybody rushes to get dressed. And my kid is like, I don't want you to come. And I'm like, what? And he's like, I don't want you to come. Please don't come. He's like, begging me not to come. He's embarrassed of me. And he's not even nine yet. He's embarrassed of me. He told me, I said, just tell me the truth. Are you embarrassed. And he said, yes, I don't want you to come.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Embarrassed of their parents. I never wanted my parents.

[Brian Green]

I respected his wishes because. But he's got another event where he's like playing music next week and he's not escaping my presence from that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

I thought, okay, I'm gonna let you go on the flag holding. But I said, 30 years from now when you have a life coach and you're crying about how daddy never showed up to anything, you're gonna want this moment.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

So remember that because 30 years from now, it's all gonna be psychics and life coaches doing therapy. Mark my words. More people trust psychics than therapists. I know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

All right. TCBpodcast.com all the audio, all the video right there. You can also get your free sticker on the contact Us page. Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok and YouTube.com the commercial break. Also, go check out Ari Shafir's new special, America Sweetheart on Netflix, available now. We love them, Chrissy. That's all I can do for now.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think.

[Brian Green]

So I'll tell you that I love you. I'll say best to you. Best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we will say, we do say, we must say goodbye.

[Rachel]

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[Brian Green]

Yeah, sure thing.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Hey, you sold that car yet?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, sold it to Carvana.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, I thought you were selling to that guy.

[Brian Green]

The guy who wanted to pay me in foreign currency, no interest over 30, 36 months. Yeah, no. Carvana gave me an offer in minutes, picked it up and paid me on the spot. It was so convenient. Just like that. Yeah. No hassle, none that is super convenient.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Sell your car to Carvana and swap hassle for convenience. Pickup fees may apply.

[Armie Hammer]

Okay, let's take a poll. How weird does it feel to be called someone's fiance?

[Brian Green]

Right?

[Armie Hammer]

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