Papal Pomp & Pencil Skirts!

Summary

The Commercial Break — Episode Summary

Podcast: The Commercial Break
Episode Title: Papal Pomp & Pencil Skirts!
Date: May 8, 2025
Hosts: Brian Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break delivers the classic TCB experience: chaotic, unfiltered comedic banter between longtime friends Brian and Krissy as they riff on everything from the secretive rituals of the Vatican’s papal conclave and the influence of American money in selecting a new Pope—all the way to a rambunctious festival recap and an irreverent review of this year’s famously outlandish Met Gala. The duo also skewers the perils of bad live television coverage and the relentless march of pop culture absurdity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Papal Conclave & American Influence (01:14 – 16:15)

• Vatican Drama & Secrecy:
  Brian opens with his intrigue toward the elaborate secrecy around Vatican conclaves, humorously referencing the Italian press’s obsession with "palace drama" and the lengths they go to uncover it.
• Secret U.S. Catholic Donor Clubs:
  He shares his discovery about an ultra-wealthy American donor group (potentially Basilicas/Apostolites of St. Peter) promising the Vatican up to $1 billion if their preferred (Bostonian) candidate becomes Pope.

  “They have promised to raise over a billion dollars if they can just get the pope they want… that just surprises the shit out of me that it’s so transparently bought and paid for.” — Brian (05:20)

• Contrast to Christianity's Roots:
  Brian muses on the disconnect between Christ’s humble values and the evident politicking and financial lobbying surrounding papal elections.
• Conclave Mechanics:
  Chrissy chimes in with stats: 133 voting cardinals, secure cell-phone blocking in the Sistine Chapel, and ritualistic multi-voting rounds (votes often serve as “signs of respect” before serious politicking begins).
• Personal Analogy:
  Brian humorously compares the politicking of papal elections to his own childhood losses in student council elections, offering advice received from his father:

  “Always vote for yourself. Don’t vote for anyone else. You could be the deciding vote.” (13:11)

2. All Things Festival: Riverbeat and Mempho (16:15 – 27:11)

• Festival Recap:
  Chrissy recounts highlights from Riverbeat Music Festival:
  • Steve Aoki (notorious for cake-throwing at the crowd)
  • Missy Elliott (“her production was just incredible”), The Killers, Anderson .Paak, Cage the Elephant, Benson Boone (noted for his energetic performances & revealing outfits), Public Enemy, Karong Bin, Flavor Flav.
• Backstage Access:
  Chrissy describes watching Steve Aoki from a trailer, the sprawling riverside scenery, and the variety of acts (“Riverbeat looks bigger than Mempho… just crowd-wise.” — Brian, 18:31).
• The Toll of Multi-day Festivals:
  Brian reflects (with mock elder statesmanship) on how attending multi-day festivals gets physically taxing with age—and gently ribs Chrissy for her stamina:

  “Pace yourself, buddy. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should…” (25:11)

3. Met Gala: Fashion, Absurdity, and Technical Fails (28:49 – 57:12)

• Met Gala Primer:
  Brian explains the gala’s origins — a high-fashion fundraiser for NYC’s Metropolitan Museum of Art, long curated by Anna Wintour, this year featuring “Black Dandy” as the theme and Pharrell Williams as host.
  • He commends Pharrell for articulating the historical arc from “slaves to the stairways of the Met Gala” (30:35).
• “Fashionista” Credentials:
  Brian pokes fun at his own non-celebrity sartorial risks (Le Gap, Le Jo’s, Le Target, and beloved Lululemon knockoff Walmart sweatpants).
• Inside the Gala:
  They joke about the “months of prep for one hour of enough awkwardness that people want to leave” inside the Met (34:54).
• The E! Network Creator Cam Disaster:
  Brian mercilessly reviews E! Network’s flawed “Creator King Cam” with Flau’jae Johnson as the hapless young host:
  • Technical difficulties, no celebrity access, a meandering cameraman, and a disorganized crew resulted in a “commercial break level” fiasco.
  • Notable quote:

    “This poor woman had the worst luck… This was on par with anything we’ve ever done. Like, commercial break-level bad.” — Brian (36:44)

  • Flau’jae is left filling dead air, chasing interviews, and being moved repeatedly by security (“Her microphone is wide open and you hear her assistant… apologizing for all this drama…” — 41:45).
  • Krissy expresses sympathy: “Yeah, it looks chaotic.” (42:38)

4. Fashion Hot Takes & the ‘It’s Giving Me’ Era (47:03 – 56:53)

• Red Carpet Looks:
  Brian and Krissy riff on various Met Gala looks, joking about the phrase “it’s giving me” saturating red carpet commentary:
  • On one look:

    “It’s giving me cat that just ate a steak but has to take a big shit.” — Brian (47:41)

  • They note the logistical (and sometimes aesthetic) awkwardness of ultra-long capes and trains (“when you travel with a crew of people just to hold your dress up, it kind of breaks the mystery” — 49:43).
• Absurdities in Pop Stardom:
  Lampooning Katy Perry’s recent tour (giant puppets, singing toilets), and contrasting it with Lady Gaga’s massive Rio performance (allegedly 2 million attendees), Brian and Krissy marvel at the extremes of modern celebrity spectacle.
  • On Lady Gaga’s record-breaking crowd:

    “The moment when you realize there’s no higher to go, right? It’s like: that’s it.” — Brian (55:05)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Vatican Intrigue:
  “The Italian paparazzi, they’re like a dog on a bone. They love all the palace drama around the pomp and circumstance…” — Brian (01:25)

• On American Donors Influencing the Papacy:
  “I know the Catholic Church is up to some hanky-panky, but I don’t think they’re biting the ear of the Pope…” — Brian (03:45)

• On Out-of-Touch Tradition:
  “You’d think that in the steps of Jesus Christ… the most humble… But this whole religion… is trying to sway influence with literally billions of dollars.” — Brian (05:47)

• Personal Election Trauma:
  “My dad said… ‘You always vote for yourself.’… And there was a tie for that secretary position and I did not vote for myself.” — Brian (12:54)

• Music Festival Mayhem:
  “You’re at a constant three day festival…” — Krissy (26:22)

• Met Gala Madness:
  “It has become kind of a costume show almost… the costumes get more outrageous, and more outrageous…” — Brian (30:52)

• On E! Creator Cam Chaos:
  “This girl got hung out to dry… you give her a cameraman that’s got ADHD of the epic proportions…” — Brian (44:26)

• On the Overuse of Trendy Phrases:
  “It’s giving me… headache. That’s what it’s giving me.” — Brian (48:10)

• Pop Spectacle Absurdity:
  “She had a puppet shit that was human-sized, singing along with her to one of her songs.” — Brian (51:40), on Katy Perry’s concert

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Important Timestamps

• 01:14 – Start of the “papal conclave” discussion, Vatican intrigue, and American lobbying
• 05:20 – Secret US billionaires’ club funding the papacy
• 12:54 – Brian’s student council trauma (vote for yourself!)
• 16:15 – Transition to Riverbeat festival: lineup, stories, and festival strains
• 27:11 – Lead-in to Met Gala talk
• 30:35 – Pharrell’s “slaves to the stairway” quote
• 36:44 – Breakdown of the E! Network Creator Cam disaster
• 41:45 – The chaos fully unfolds for Flau’jae Johnson
• 47:41 – “It’s giving me” fashion roast begins
• 51:40 – Katy Perry “puppet shit” anecdote
• 55:05 – Lady Gaga’s 2 million-strong Rio concert
• 57:12 – Final Met Gala hot takes and E! Network shaming

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Tone & Style

The tone is irreverent, conversational, and heavy with self-aware, offbeat banter. Both hosts embrace the show’s “chaotic, unpolished charm,” mixing sharp pop-culture critique with deeply personal, shameless anecdotes. The language is direct, a bit crass, and peppered with signature phrases (“tickles my taint a little bit,” “commercial break level bad,” etc.). There’s a knowing wink behind every tangent.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a whirlwind of pop culture, institution-skewering, and festival FOMO. Whether you’re here for the inside dirt on the Vatican, cringe-worthy live TV fails, or just want recommendations on which Walmart sweatpants rival Lululemon, you’ll feel like you’re eavesdropping on a raucous, unfiltered night out with two best friends who embrace (and roast) the absurdity of modern life.

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Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time…

Transcript

[Brian Green]

You ought to spend a little more.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

Time dealing with yourself a little less.

[Brian Green]

Time worrying about what your brother does.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

That's just an opinion.

[Rachel]

What are you, a psychiatrist?

[Brian Green]

No.

[Rachel]

Why don't you keep your opinions to yourself?

[Brian Green]

Somebody you should talk to.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

If you say Ferris Bueller, you lose a testicle.

[Brian Green]

Well, you know him. Excuse you. On this episode of the commercial break. Fashion oftentimes pushes the envelope and makes people think in ways that are weird and wild and wonderful. So I kind of have a little bit of a soft spot for the fashion industry. Some might call me a fashionista myself. I don't know if you. I'm wearing Les Gap with Les Jo's and Le Targay. Bit of a fashionista myself.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Not your Walmart sweatpants today.

[Brian Green]

Not the Walmart sweatpants today. But I. This is one of those risks you take in fashion that either work out or don't. When I put on those Walmart sweatpants, I feel like I win more often than I lose. I'm just saying. That's all I gotta say. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

Yeah, boy.

[Brian Green]

Aw, yeah. Cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Krista Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Krista, Best to you, Brian, and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Hey, be it's a pum pum. The conclave has begun. Extra omnes, as they say. Everybody out is the word that they use when it's time to start the conclave. Extra omnes. You have to leave. And the security at the conclave is very tight. From what I understand, they did a whole special on all the security measures that are taken to make sure that no one gets a sniff or a whiff of who might be the next cardinal, the next pope of the Catholic Church. Really? I mean, really, is it that? I mean, I know that Italian paparazzi, they're like a dog on a bone. They love the. All the palace drama around, the pomp and circumstance. The pompous circumstance. Yes, the pompom circumstance. They love it. They love that palace drama that's around the Vatican and they get into it. You know, they follow cardinals around, see who's sleeping with who and who's got a boyfriend and who's got a girlfriend. It's a big deal in that Italian press universe to follow those guys around. And they have been known for their dirty tricks. The Italian media house. But I mean, wouldn't it be okay if we Knew, like, who might be the next Pope. Is it really that big of a deal? Right.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

No, I mean, to me it's not, but I guess to them it is.

[Brian Green]

Here's what's most surprising to me about the Conclave, and I guess not surprising, but surprising when you actually read it. And then I did a little bit of investigation. There is a league of extraordinary gentlemen, let's call them that, here in the United States of America, called like the Basilicas of St. Peter or the Apostolites of St. Peter or something along those lines. A secret ultra wealthy club of people who donate millions and millions of dollars to the Catholic Church every year. And for that they get access to the Pope directly. Access to the Pope. They get to meet him essentially. Now, I don't know what kind of like, I don't know the intricacies around the access to the Pope, but I would imagine that if you're donating a couple million dollars a year, you get to bite the ear of the Pope at least once in a blue moon or you know somebody who can bite the ear of the Pope. Not literally everyone settled down. I know the Catholic Church is up to some hanky panky, but I don't think it's good. I don't think they're biting the ear of the Pope. This group of people, they donate a lot of money and so they have a lot of influence. And what I did not know until I started reading about it partly in the Italian media, translated into English, because I have no idea how to speak Italian, is that the nine days in between the funeral and the Conclave, there is a lot of lobbying that goes on to press people to vote a certain way for the new Pope. Now, I guess this is, you know, again, not really that surprising. We're human and this is what humans do. We try and, you know, put our spin on things. We want things our way. We're bratty little fuck ups, bratty little fucktards. That's what we do. But this group of people here in the United States, there's something of St. Peter. They have promised to raise over a billion dollars if they can just get the Pope they want to get, which apparently is one of the Cardinal. The Cardinal of Boston or whoever that guy is that everybody's so in love with. And that just surprises the shit out of me that it's so transparently bought and paid for. Do you know what I'm saying? You would think that in the steps of Jesus Christ, the guy who literally walked around touching lepers, open sores and just like, bemoaned any kind of notoriety, had no interest in wealth or fame, was like the most humble. He'd probably be surprised we're even still talking about him. Like, I think that would be, you know, something he would not be interested in. But this whole religion that goes, you know, along the word of Jesus Christ, and they're trying to sway influence with billions of literally billions of dollars that they're. They're putting in people's pockets, lining the pockets of the Vatican so that they can have some sway and influence over who the next Pope is. Now, listen, to a lot of Catholics, the next Pope is an important decision to be made. Why? I guess because they can have some influence over the doctrine or the way that the church goes or things that they do, or the rules of the church. If you're Brian Greene, the rules of the Catholic Church were made to be broken. I made out with somebody as an altar boy during one of the church services. I am certainly going to hell. If this is the way it goes, I'm certainly going to hell. But, you know, hey, listen, In, I guess 20, 25, everything's just Bitcoin. That's what we're doing. It's just bitcoin. Bitcoin. I'll pay a billion in bitcoin popcorn anyway. Habeas pumpum. Chrissy. Mary habeas pompum.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Mary habeas pompom.

[Brian Green]

May it be quick and painless. May the. May the white smoke puff from the phallic chimney of the Vatican sooner rather than later.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Well, I was just watching about it, and it was saying that the last time they elected the Pope on the first vote was like 1531.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's not happening. Yeah, that's not happening.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I didn't realize it was that rare.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, because there's like 133. I got the stats here. Hold on one second. Let's look. 133 cardinal electors are present and able to. To vote. They're all in the Sistine Chapel. The Sistine Chapel and the Vatican in general has cell phone blockers, technologies that don't, you know, they really have just essentially either one big fucking rave is happening in that Sistine Chapel right now. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, one big hot party is going on in there. It's like the once in a lifetime, the cardinals get to go and just defrock themselves. Like let their frocks down or.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, open the frog.

[Brian Green]

Open the frock. That's right. It's an open frog party, you know, Frock optional. I guess it's a frog optional party. It's like the once in a lifetime, twice in a lifetime. These old gentlemen will get to do this. Or it's really important stuff that's going on behind there in. I haven't seen the movie. Still haven't seen the movie. Why?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I cannot believe that you have.

[Brian Green]

Because there's no time in my day, Chrissy. I don't. It's. I have. I love you, but the lives that we live are so radically and vastly opposite of each other. I know they are. You're at Mempho for five days, three of which are just recovery. I'm lucky if I get an hour long recovery in any day of my life. That's just the way that it is. By the time I end my day, I really am not interested in using my brain for any additional thinking. So that's why I put on stupid bullshit comedies to go to sleep today.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

But yet you are caught up, I'm sure, on the Poly Family.

[Brian Green]

I have not caught up on the Poly Family yet. I will be watching that today as I'm working on the show and the 40 hours of TCB or whatever the fuck we've agreed to do here. But the Conclave, I hear, is a pretty accurate representation of what goes on. But how do they know? I guess cardinals have, you know, I guess some people have loose lips and they talk.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

They weigh in.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

But I mean. Well, it seemed. Well, and again, that's really the only thing I know about it is from that movie. But it did seem like that there were different segments of the cardinals from different areas of the world that were weighing in and trying to get their person.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And so the way that it goes is it's literally John Lithgow. John Lithgow. I vote him for Pope. You see where Trump put that picture of himself on Twitter?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. I mean, I'm not like, whatever. Anyway, I'm going to move past it. It's a blind vote. So all of them literally scribble on a piece of paper, throw it into a box. Then the Carmen Genglo or something. Some guy, some guy that's in charge, he, you know, tallies up the votes and there you go and onto the next vote. And then they vote again. And they vote again. I think they vote up to three times a day until they get consensus. And I imagine the first, you know, 10 of these are just a clusterfuck of people voting for themselves, voting for their friend, voting for the person, you know, I don't know.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

That's the thing. I was just watching, too, was saying it, like, the first vote's usually, like, a sign of, like, respect or something that you want somebody to have. I don't know.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. Okay. So you vote for yourself. That's what I do. You know, my dad, I always. Not always, but for, like, the fourth grade through eighth grade, I would run for, like, student council.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Mm.

[Brian Green]

President, vice president, secretary. Yeah. But there were, like, 12 kids in my class, so, you know, all of us were gonna get a position or something along those lines. There was, like, four positions available. There were, like, 40 kids in our class total in our class, split into two classrooms. And, you know, you'd make the signs and the pins and the posters.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Vote for Brian.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, vote for Brian. And I. I don't know why I wanted this. I think I just felt. I. I almost think I felt like it was obligatory, you know, everybody else was going to do it, so I did it. And up until sixth grade, I was an extraordinarily shy kid. Didn't have a lot of friends. Still don't have a lot of friends. It's true. My friends are my kids. And you and you and Rafa. But I feel more like I'm just an Uber driver for Rafa. But anyway, I'll move. I'll move past that also. So I put all of this together, you know, all the pins and the. You know, I think we made. My mom helped me make cookies. You passed out the cookies. Vote for Brian. And the day comes, and it basically goes. The kid who gets the most votes is president. The kid who gets the second most votes, vice president, secretary, and then, you know, liaison, whatever.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Oh, that's how it worked.

[Brian Green]

That's how it worked.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

You didn't run for a specific office.

[Brian Green]

No, because when you're in fourth grade, I mean, what exactly. How are. What wisdom are you gonna impart on anybody? And how are you gonna influence the school in any meaningful way? I think this is just an exercise in getting ready for the future. Maybe in high school, when it might. You. You might actually be able to do something as the school, I don't know. Student council. Yeah, that's treasurer, Treasure. You know, you have a big sale, you collect $6, you make sure it stays there. Treasurer, by the way, would have been the worst position for Brian to have, because Brian would have spent the $6 on cigarettes. Yes. I thought this was good for everybody. Let's all smoke a cigarette after class in the church. Nonetheless, so the day comes, I don't know what grade this is in fifth or sixth grade. The day comes I didn't win my first couple of times, I was. They don't tell you the votes, but I didn't win. But one of the years, maybe sixth grade, maybe seventh grade, there's a tie for, like, secretary, which is, you know, the lowest of it, the liaison, the secretary, or whatever it is. There's a tie and it's Brian and this other kid. There's a tie. Okay, great. So we're going to hold a revote, making things interesting. Making things interesting. We're going to hold a revote. It's going to be tomorrow. You have one day to convince people that you're the guy for the job. And I lost. And I think I lost badly, actually, because I really wasn't good at that politicking thing. But it's all about how to make friends and get influence on people. And the kid that I was up against, who shall remain nameless, the name I shall never speak again because he beat me for student council secretary in sixth grade. He just was so much more popular than I was. And listen, there's only going to be one kid in class. And we, Astor and I were talking about this. Popularity is a double edged sword because, you know, you think about. You look at your kids and you go, oh, you know, are they popular? Are they not popular? Doesn't even really matter because there's only like two or three kids in the entirety of the class who are actually going to be popular. And everyone else is just, you know, they're the most popular. And then everyone else is going to be wanting to be the most popular. It's got to be the exact same thing with this conclave. You take a vote. I wanted to say this. My dad said to me on that day that I was going in for that recount vote. He said, vote for yourself. And I said, I'm not going to vote for myself, dad. That he said, you always vote for yourself. Don't vote for anyone else. Vote for yourself. You could be the deciding vote, right? And I was like, yes. And here's why. It made sense. Like a couple of days after this whole thing had gone down and I had gotten over the disappointment of losing four years in a row for anything for student council, is that there was a tie for that secretary position and I did not vote for myself. So had I voted for myself, I would have never had to go through the embarrassment of not of clearly being the least popular kid in this. In this arrangement. These guys, they probably vote. A lot of them vote for themselves, I would imagine. And then they vote for the buddy. And then slowly but surely, just like a jury would, like a hung jury, people start to convince people. Backdoor conversations who brought the better ecstasy to the party. You know, that guy likes Moby. That guy likes Steve Akioki. You know, Akioki. It starts to, like, whittle down into this situation where there's some clear frontrunners, and then eventually you get a majority vote.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. That looks like the way that they portrayed it on the movie.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And the last time that we did this, now we've been privy to this twice in our lives. The last time that they did this, if I'm not mistaken, it took like a month or a month and a half for them to vote. Not Benedict, but the last one, who was the one before this was Francis. That was Benedict. It took them like a month and a half to vote Benedict, who was after Pope John Paul. So we'll see how it all plays out. It's very interesting to me. I'm not interested in the actual dogma of the religion, but all of this pomp and circumstance and secrecy and, you know, palace intrigue, it kind of does tickle my taint a little bit. I've got to be honest. I'm a little. No pun intended, Catholic Church. It does tickle my taint a little bit. I am a little interested in how this all goes down. Yeah. And there's. They're already talking about some front runners. I don't know any of them, nor do I care. I don't have a dog in the fight. It's not like, oh, I really hope this guy wins for Pope. You know what I'm saying? But it's interesting how they're talking about them, the Italian press taking pictures of this guy talking to that guy and that guy talking to this guy and this guy meeting with a billionaire and that guy meeting with, you know, this cardinal. It's very interesting, Chrissy. There's a lot of intrigue going around about habeas pump em. And so I will. Habeas pump em.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Why don't you keep. You'll be our correspondent.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I will be your correspondent. I'm the perfect guy to be a correspondent for the Catholic Church. A reformed Catholic. A reformed Irish Catholic from Chicago. Speaking of Stevie ikioka Okie, didn't you see Stevie Akioki?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I did, yes.

[Brian Green]

The Riverbeat Music Festival.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I did, yeah. I saw lots and lots of good music. He threw cake out at people, which I Guess is his thing. I didn't realize that.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I saw a video. I don't know if I don't think it was from Riverbeat, because it was like a lot of people, like 100,000 people. So I don't think it was Riverbeat where he threw a cake and the guy was telling him to, you know, wait for the beat, wait for the beat, wait for the beat. And he just threw it. And the look on the DJ's face was like, the fuck, man.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

People loved it. There was a lot of good stuff.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Did they do a little Achy Okie karaoke? What happened there? Did you actually see him play? I did spin, yeah. Yeah. And so what is the arrangement there? I'm really interested in, like the minutiae of this a little bit. Does Stevieoki Akioki, does he get up there and are you in the crowd or are you on the stage or in the back of the stage? What is your viewpoint for this particular.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Artist credentials to be wherever I wanted, but I watched it from just trailer.

[Brian Green]

You watch it from just trailer? What, like on a video screen? Yeah, yeah, Chrissy.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I did that. A lot of other things I went out into the actual crowd for, but Stevie Aoki was playing. I was just getting there and kind of like getting my Barons straight.

[Brian Green]

You were just getting there when Steve.

[Rachel]

Yoki, he went on early.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

He did, yeah. It was.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I would think he would be.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Like closing out 35.

[Brian Green]

I would think 4, 35 in the morning. It would be a good time for him.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I know normally that's what I guess he does, of course, at like the Vegas clubs.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Vegas clubs.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

And Ibiza. Yeah, Ibiza.

[Brian Green]

Ibiza.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

But he was lined up in the. In the other slot.

[Brian Green]

Okay. All right. Yeah.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

A lot of people came out for it, though.

[Brian Green]

Was it a big crowd? I noticed that. I looked at the setup I was looking at, and I noticed that it was very spread out, a big.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Right. Well along the river. Hence the name Riverbeat.

[Brian Green]

How many people do they think showed up to Riverbeat?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Oh, gosh, I don't know. And just getting back today, and I'll have to ask him, but there were a lot of people. I mean, it was sold out.

[Brian Green]

To me, the Riverbeat looks bigger than Mempho. It does. I mean, just like, crowd wise, the ability to hold a crowd looks bigger than Mempho. And I know Mempho's like different venue. Yeah, Mempho's like the main event. Right. It's the one that everyone like kind of pays attention, but looks Like Riverbeat might be.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

This is just Riverbeat second year.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I know. That's crazy.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

They did a really great job. I mean, they've got, like a Ferris wheel and games and food and obviously music and drinks. And it's. Yeah, it's spread out along the river so it's not constantly traded in. The one place like Memphis.

[Brian Green]

What's that? The Mississippi. The mighty Mississippi.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

The mighty Mississippi.

[Brian Green]

The mighty Mississippi. The old man. The old lazy river. So who else plays there? You've got the Killers.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, we have the Killers. Saturday night. Well, Missy Elliott Friday night.

[Brian Green]

Oh, she's great.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Oh, my God. I think that might have been my favorite. Her production was just incredible.

[Brian Green]

And how long does she play for? 45 minutes? An hour? Something like that?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

No, like an hour and a half.

[Brian Green]

Oh, okay. So, like a full set. Wow. I'm sure. Just a crazy crowd.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Crazy crowd. Everybody was going nuts. Same on Sunday with Anderson Paak. There's Cage the Elephant.

[Brian Green]

We were talking about Cage the Elephant. I was saying this.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

They play everything.

[Brian Green]

They play everything. Every festival has to have Cage the Elephant. Benson.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Benson Boone.

[Brian Green]

Oh, Benson Boone.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I have a picture with him. I need to send it to you.

[Brian Green]

Is he doing flips?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

He did a flip.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

All right. He did a flip. And he was the nicest guy. So nice when I met him. He's only 22.

[Brian Green]

He's only 22.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I mean, I guess we'll see what happens in a few years. But he was just coming off of Saturday Night Live.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And he rolls right in.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Rolls right into Riverbeat.

[Brian Green]

He was played on Sunday night.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Okay. So he did. He did Saturday Night Live on Saturday night and then rolled into Riverbeat on Sunday night. That's the way you do it, man. You got to get it. Get it while the getting's hot. Was the crowd big for Benson Boone?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

People love him.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I've heard. Listen, his. I guess he's got the. The dick to handle it, but his outfits are rather revealing. He wears those tight pants that are very tight pants.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Or Steve Mercury. Ish.

[Brian Green]

Freddie Mercury.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Freddie Mercury.

[Brian Green]

Freddie Mercury. I. I almost think, like David Lee Roth. Ish. Kind of like, not like that outrageous, but just some of the outfits that he wears are a little wild. My love, my wife loves Benson Boom.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I know everybody loves Benson Boom. And again, he was the nicest guy.

[Brian Green]

That's great.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Very, very nice.

[Brian Green]

That's great.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Who else? I met Flavor Flav. I saw Flavor Flav and Chuck D.

[Brian Green]

Did you tell Chucky and I Had.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

A good heart to heart.

[Brian Green]

I'm sure that's his thing. That's what he talks about.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Public Enemy. They were great. Ludicrous.

[Brian Green]

Public Enemy. Oh, they played?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I didn't know that Public Enemy was there. I thought they might have just been hang there hanging out Missy or something. Oh, wow. Really? Okay. Public Enemy. One of the og. I mean, they are so good. Like, some of that old Public Enemy is so good.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

That's still sounded great.

[Brian Green]

How I went through my Africa Bata stage where a kid in my class told me, you look like an idiot. You look like an idiot.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Karong Bin was there.

[Brian Green]

Karong Bin. That's incredible. Was the crowd good for.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

The crowd was great for that.

[Brian Green]

They are lovely. Okay, so tell. So slow down for a second. So did you tell Flavor Flav that we.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I told him.

[Brian Green]

Would we use him in an opening of our show?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

That's amazing.

[Brian Green]

Did you also tell him he should come on the show? I mean, that's. I need you to be that person.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Bill liaison.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. If you're gonna meet people, you should say you should come on the show, you know, and they'll say yes out of obligation because they don't want to embarrass themselves right in front of you. But then we have our people call their people and say, he said so. He said he would come on. Yeah, it's an in. It's a little like, wiggle in. I guess I have to be that guy. And you. I'll come next time and I'll be like, we'd be on our show. We'd be on our show. Will you be on our show? Because if Benson Boone showed up on the show, then I would get laid.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

I would get laid.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Because my wife would be thinking about Benson Boone while we were having sex. That's why. Okay, so the Killers played on Saturday.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

The Killers were huge.

[Brian Green]

Now, where did you watch the Killers from?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

From the suite.

[Brian Green]

From the suite?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Which is like side stage.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Vip, Sweets.

[Brian Green]

Is that like side stage?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

No, they're like up. They're on this. They're. There's scaffolding, stairs that go up to them, and there's all these suites up.

[Brian Green]

There around the side of the stage.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Not the side of the stage. More looking at the stage.

[Brian Green]

Oh. Like so in the front of the stage. Okay, so you go up there, you hang out in the Suites. Yeah, the Killers. I' seen a couple of their live shows on television. It's really good. They. I saw. And I told Jeff this. I saw Madison Square Garden and the Killers. Played three nights. Two nights. Three nights. And on the third night, a second night, whatever it was, the Boss, Bruce Springsteen came out, played three songs, three Bruce Springsteen songs with the Killers.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I'm not the world's biggest Killers fan. I like them.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I think they're really good and I think they're. I think they're one of those bands that's probably a little bit better live. Just from what I've seen on television on the. Watching them, I was thoroughly impressed.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

At the Killers and the Boss together. It was incredible. It was really energetic, super great. He hit all the notes. I mean, the Boss hit all the notes. And then Brandon hit the Flowers, I think is his name. Hit all the notes. It was fucking incredible. Wow. So a good long three day stretch there.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yes. And I do need another three days to reach.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. No west for the weird. No west for the wiwi.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I was coming off Pearl J with you.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

One night of rest, then straight to Riverby. Of course, you know, the night before the shows, everybody's out, excited, having dinner.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

There was that night. Then three days. Full days.

[Brian Green]

Chrissy, do we need to have another conversation? This is your first responsibility, the commercial break, generating over $20 of income per episode for your pocket. I don't know. I don't know what's going on here, but if I need to have a conversation with Jeff and say, Jeff, Chrissy can only go to one of the four days of the festival. Okay. She can go to that little dinner ahead of time and then she can go Saturday night. She'll be limited to 10pm and then she needs to be back at the hotel room creating content for the commercial break.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

The hard thing is I want to see everything. I know you do see everybody.

[Brian Green]

I know, it's fun. Listen, I get it. I'm not immune to the fomo. I'm not immune to it. I look at you doing all these things and I think it's great. And I would love to be there with you too. And you know that I would go if I could go. And maybe I will go. But I also, from the last time I spent three nights at a festival, which was Mempho, and I didn't even drink. It took me days to recover from that. There's just a certain amount of, like. I don't know, you gotta limit yourself sometimes at. I think this goes for anybody. I wish I had this bit I'm giving my young self. You know, people say that, like time and space doesn't Matter. And it's all just a construct of the mind. And that my younger self is living in some alternate timeline. Let me tell you, Brian, pace yourself, buddy. Pace yourself. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. And you will, I promise you, at your advanced age, you will kiss yourself on the mouth for pacing yourself. Because part of me thinks that the reason why three day festival just sounds exhausting is because I have done it so many times in my young life that I like burned my body out. There's only so much running room you have in your spirit and you just, you gotta, you gotta tamper it down sometimes. Chrissy. Here I am giving a speech to you and I got three fucking children. Because here's the reality.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

You're running a three day festival all the time.

[Brian Green]

I'm running. This is it. I am.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

You're at a constant three day festival.

[Brian Green]

The difference is at a three day festival with Chrissy, she goes to bed at 6am I get up at 6am I thought about. Right, my party starts at 6am and then it ends at about 11:30, at which point Chrissy is just getting going. So. All right.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Getting texting you.

[Brian Green]

Listen, I'm very proud of Jeff.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Congratulations on RiverBeat. It looks like the offshoot festival, RiverBeat has become quite the big deal. And not that Mempho isn't mempho. Two days of widespread panic. Make sure you go check that out. But I'm just sharing with you that congratulations. It sounded like it was a good party. I saw all the pictures and Jackie Beans. I even got a Jackie Beans photo. So thank you, Jackie Beans. I'm gonna see if I can post that on. On. On Instagram because some people.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

He was asking where we were.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, maybe next year. Maybe next year the kids are old enough. I can. We can get a break. We can have somebody watch the children and we can get away with it. All right, let's do this. Let's take a break. And then, Chrissy, then and only then, I want to talk about the one and only Met Gala. I was gonna say something, but I'm gonna talk about the Met Gala. I want to review some video footage that I have of the Met Gala and all the to dos and all the whatever. We'll get to it. All right. We'll be back. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some very heavy thinking to do before 10 o'. Clock.

[Rachel]

Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void like Brian? Well, I'VE got just the place for you to do that. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a race. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans, or tell us a little story. The juicier the better. By the way, we love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at the commercial break on Insta, TCB podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch. Oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video, YouTube.com thecommercial break and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously, Axel needs food. Today is pork chop day.

[Brian Green]

The one and only Met Gala. Chrissy happened a couple of nights ago. When was that? Sunday night or something like that?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Saturday. Sunday night.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Monday. It was Monday night.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it was Monday night. Okay. What a great night to hold the Met Gala. Now, for those of you that don't.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Know, Vincent Boone had to get out of Mempho and go to the Metcalf.

[Brian Green]

Oh, there you go. Right after he met Chrissy, he headed to the Metcalf. I love you. Can I can only imagine what condition people were in in that trailer or up in that suite? I'm gonna go next year. Next. I'm making a. I'm making it a point to go. I really wanted to go this year. When the lineup was announced, I was like, wow, Riverbeat. Now, don't. No knock on Mempho, but Riverbeat would have been more my speed, I think, as far as the music is concerned. I would have loved to have gone. So next year. Next year I'm gonna go. Okay, so the Met Gala. For those of you that don't know who have your head in a hole, the Met Gala is put on by the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Museum of Art, it is. The chairperson of the Met Gala is, of course, Anna Wintour, who has been the longtime editor in chief of Vogue. There have been movies, magazines, and books written about her. She is hellfire on two feet, and she is also known for being really a tastemaker of all sorts. And. And I don't. I mean, I can get into it, but I'm not gonna. This isn't about Anna Wintour, but Anna Wintour asked one person to chair this year, and that person was Pharrell Williams. So Pharrell Williams is going to chair the Met Gala. The theme is black dandy. Black dandy is the style and fashion of African Americans throughout the years. And dandy ism is a version of this style of dress. It's ostentatious, it's big, it's bold. It's very tailored. Sometimes it's very tailored. Top hats, tails, the whole nine yards. It's. There's all kind of fashion. But the Met Gala is known for. Really has become known. Used to be for, like, guys in well fitted suits and girls in beautiful dresses. And it has become kind of a costume show almost.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

There's a different theme.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, there's a different theme every year, but the costumes get more outrageous and more outrageous, and it gets more crazy and more crazy. A lot of people abstained from this year's Met Gala not because of the theme, but because they felt that there were more important things to focus on in the world. There were a couple of celebrities who came out and said, thanks for the invite, but I think there are more important things we need to focus on. Whatever you think about that, it's a time to celebrate fashion this year. It's a time to celebrate dandyism. I like what Pharrell, I think it was Pharrell Williams said from the slaves to the stairways of the Met Gala, you know, celebrating that fashion throughout the years. And that when he said that on one of these shows, one of these, like, red carpet shows, it really kind of touched me. Like, I was like, wow, that's. That's a very powerful statement that he. That he made. And I can appreciate that. I can also appreciate the kind of the ridiculous. The ridiculousness of it. All right? It's like one of those. Not. Not dandyism, but the ridiculousness of it of the Met Gala in general. And I can understand why some people had abstained from going all of that said, you may or may not know, Chrissy, you will know that I have, like, a loose connection to the fashion world. I had a friend for a long time who worked in the modeling industry at the very. At a very high level. And she was like an executive at one of the high fashion modeling in, you know, agencies.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I remember her.

[Brian Green]

And. And I really got an inside look into what goes on in the fashion industry. And just like any industry, some of it dark, some of it funny, some of it comical, a lot of it just kind of P.T. barnum showing off. Right? It's like a P.T. barnum quality to fashion, I think. And like comedy fashion oftentimes pushes the envelope and makes people think in ways that are weird and wild and wonderful. So I kind of have a little bit of a soft spot for the fashion industry. Some might call me a fashionista myself. I don't know if you. I'm wearing Leg up with Le Jo's and Le Targe. Bit of a fashionista myself.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Not your Walmart sweatpants today.

[Brian Green]

Not the Walmart sweatpants today. But I. This is one of those risks you take in fashion that either work out or don't. When I put on those Walmart sweatpants, I feel like I win more often than I lose. I'm just saying. That's all I got to say, you know, as my balls are swinging in and out of the baggy white Lululemon esque Walmart sweatpants that I have fallen in love with.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I love this. Comparable to Lululemon.

[Brian Green]

So comparable to Lululemon. I went into Lululemon the other day to buy something. I. One of the shorts that sometimes I. I run or walk in was getting a little old. So I'm like, let me go in there and get. It's like, you gotta bring a banker with you to go to Lululemon. I like Lululemon. I do. I think they make really comfortable clothes, but it is ridiculous with the pricing in those stores and not for lack of having customers, that's for fucking sure. Because that place was packed. There was like a discount rack. It was like wild animals at the discount rack. It was like 15 pieces of clothing, all of them, you know, triple, double small, or triple double X. It's like no size that'll ever fit you. And people were like pushing each other and shoving each other to look at the stuff that was there. And I was like, it's fucking Lululemon, not Labubu. Labu. So the Met gala happens, and I'm just like loosely watching this as I'm here in the studio the other night, figuring the red carpet is like three hours long. The actual gala itself. I don't know what goes on inside the gala. They don't show that part of it, like, what goes on once you go inside. But I have read from so many different places that the gala, you go there, you get all dressed up, up. You spend months and months talking to designers, going to fittings, figuring out what you're going to wear. You go down this red carpet, you're photographed a million cabillion times by every single outlet that's ever existed in media and then some. And then you go into the gala and it's over in like an hour. People want to leave. They're like, how do I get out of here? Like they want to leave. In other words, the show. Build up the red carpet. Right, Right. That's it. That's all. You just want to be photographed.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

And they raise all this money for the.

[Brian Green]

The Metropolitan Museum of Art. So whether you care or whether you don't care, that's not the point. One of the things I thought was really funny is that for some, how I got. When I Googled Met Gala red carpet, what I got was a live stream going on from the E Network. I figured, okay, E Network, they're known for the red carpet shit from the E Network called the Creator King Cam. Now, this creator cam has a young creator, and I will probably butcher her name, but I will try to say it nonetheless.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Like a content creator.

[Brian Green]

Like a content creator influencer. I think so, Chrissy. I'm gonna Google it so I make sure that I don't. First of all, it was raining there. So since it was raining there, there was a lot of delay in what was going on. It was like pouring down rain. So there's a lot of delay. A lot of celebrities were having trouble getting in and making sure that they didn't get wet. And then being photographed, they had to move the red carpet and all this other stuff. So this poor content creator, Chrissy, she had the worst live stream I have ever seen from a television network. This was a zero from a content creator. This was on par with anything we've ever done. It's like, this is like commercial break level bad. This poor woman had the worst luck. Cameraman, audio opportunity to talk to celebrities. Here's what I imagine happened. They call this con. Let me. Let me see if I can. Hold on one second. I want to see if I can say this girl's name correctly. That way we give her her credit. Because I don't think any of this was her fault. None of it. I don't think any of it was her fault. I think this just happened to be. She got this assignment E Creator cam.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

So she was kind of like a second cam or a third cam or something, because the normal major stream was going on by professionals there.

[Brian Green]

It's. Here's what it seemed to be. Flau J. Johnson, I think is her name. Flau J. Johnson. Okay, now I'm probably messing that name up. It's F L A U apostrophe J A E Johnson. Flausher Flauger. That's a weird name, but, you know, kind of cool. Flaujer Johnson. Oh, she's from America's Got talent. She's a fort. She was a 14 year old rapper six years ago. Okay, so she's young, right? So she's 20 years old. Okay, so I imagine this is what happens. E calls her and says, you're a great creator. We love you. We want you to be an additional stream on our channels to let the. To do some interviews as people are walking by and let the people out there in the universe know what's going on. Like the kind of like this organic.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

A man on the street.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, man on the streets in the style of vodcasting or live streaming on Instagram or whatever. He's trying to get help with the kids and they're trying to make this look cool. And she just got shit on. From the moment that this started to the moment that it ended. It was terrible. First of all, it took a full 17 minutes for the stream to even start. It was just like this, this picture that said Met Gala. E Creator cam, what I noticed about a lot of other places is it seemed like they had to. The Met had two reporters on the carpet that just said on the little microphone thing said Met Gala. And then anybody that was able to pick up the stream, and they were the official, like Met Gala red carpet people. So I don't think Flauger here was a part of that. And therefore she got no attention whatsoever. Listen to a couple of minutes of this. Let's. Let's listen to how it starts.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

It's o'.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Clock.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

I'm gonna answer questions. And here we go. 1, 2, 3. If you had one snack in your clutch tonight, what would it be? Probably some cheeses, I ain't gonna lie. Or some smart food. Popcorn. I'll eat that up. I'm not gonna lie.

[Brian Green]

Let's see.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Talking to celebrity.

[Brian Green]

She's. Yeah, no, this.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Oh, that's f. That's.

[Brian Green]

That's her, right? And so this all starts with her like, you know, having this conversation with a c. Like a. A camera person that's out of the. Out of the thing. So she's picking up the. So this all starts really bad because she's just grabbing questions out of a handbag. She's very pretty. She's got a great dress on. So now they hand her the microphone and they say, okay, let's go do some celebrity interviews. Right.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

Coming. Coming to the carpet.

[Rachel]

Right now.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

Excuse me.

[Brian Green]

This is a major network putting this on. And what you see is her assistant is running around scrambling to figure out what to do. Flau J is walking in circles. She has no idea, none clue about what is going on.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

Hi.

[Brian Green]

How are you doing?

[Unknown Male Speaker]

Nice to meet you. Mind if I get a pivot of you?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Sure.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

I want to.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

I want to say, what was the inspiration behind this outfit? This was made by Charles Harbison and his Instagram.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so she gets a. She gets an interview within the first couple minutes. That's great. That's good. Okay, that's good. Okay, now watch this. Okay, so Flau J now has to kill, like, five or 10 minutes because no one's standing. No one's coming to talk to her.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

LSU is very, very hectic. Very, very hectic. They're moving me around, guys. One second, one second.

[Brian Green]

So now.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

Wow, it's so beautiful out here.

[Brian Green]

The Met Gala is moving her. They don't want her to see.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

It's crazy out here. Oh, no, it's. Y', all, check this out. Show. It's out here raining. The people are outside, the paparazzi. The camera's going crazy.

[Brian Green]

Here's what you can't see because you're listening to it. The camera has completely stopped working.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

It's frozen.

[Brian Green]

So the people at the Met. She's inside of the Met Gala, like, I don't know, entryway or whatever. She was standing, doing an interview, and the Met Gala pushed her out. They said, no, you got to go somewhere else. You're with E Network. You gotta go somewhere else.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

Honestly, this night is just one for the. One for the ages. I can't lie to you. Does it always rain? No.

[Brian Green]

Yes, it always rains. Cloud J. Every time the Met Gala comes, it rains. It's standard protocol.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

The first. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's so beautiful. I can't lie. I'm so excited to be here. I want to play a little bit of. Would you rather.

[Brian Green]

While we wait.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

Oh, no. It's way too windy over here. Can we go on this side? It's very windy over here.

[Brian Green]

Let's play the.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

Would you rather.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. It's like the raining and the wind.

[Brian Green]

It's the raining, the wind. The fact that they have no location for her to be there now. Okay. Couple minutes later, I'm fast forwarding. The cameraman just wanders off, and her microphone is wide open. Like, the stream does not disconnect. Her microphone is wide open, and you hear her assistant and her start to. Like, this Argue. Her assistant's apologizing for all of this drama. She has no place to stand. She has nowhere to go. She has nothing to kill time with. There are no celebrities to talk to or no celebrities stopping to talk to her. It's raining outside. It's windy and cold. She has no idea what to do. Chrissy, I felt so bad for Flau J. You want to know why? Because this is an episode of the commercial break happening right on E's fucking website, one of the largest entertainment outlets in the world. Look, the cameraman just wanders off.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, he's just trying to pan over and look. Yeah, it looks chaotic.

[Brian Green]

This looks like every party that I have ever been to, and that is this. I walk in expecting that I'm gonna. You know, I'm gonna walk the red carpet. People are gonna welcome me in. I'm gonna have a few beers with George Clooney. You know what I'm saying? I have all these expectations, and I get to, like, every big event that I've ever been to. I get into the room, and then what happens? The guy can't even pronounce my name right. It's Brian's Greens from commercials break. By the way, bold choice by the guy in the video right now. You can see this on commercial break. Bold choice. Wearing shorts. Yeah, like Tommy boy shorts. Yeah.

[Rachel]

Whoopi's on that side.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Okay, we got Somebody's coming up.

[Brian Green]

Whoopi Goldberg. Oh, Whoopi, this. By the way, this looks like. Like a back room of the Met Gala. Why is Whoopy Goldberg just walking around the back room of the Met Gala? There are no other celebrities around. There are people in jeans hanging out. Okay, so. So Flo J talks to Whoopi for just a couple of seconds, and then Whoopi's assistant comes up and pushes her away. Poor girl. Oh, my gosh, Chrissy, this is, like, so embarrass.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

This is some kind of, like, back room type thing. Next up, Pam, probably on the other side.

[Brian Green]

Should we walk back? They're literally.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Should we walk back?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Here's a little advice to E News. If you're going to put a creator, if you're going to stick some chum in the water with the sharks, give the poor girl a fucking chance. Put her on the red carpet. Make sure that there is someone there who has already communicated with celebrities or PR people that they're going to be able to talk to her. Because Flau J looks like a flop in this video. But it's not her fault. It's all the other people around her, the cameraman that's wandering away, standing in front of a door that's wide open, windy and raining. You know, this girl came beautifully dressed, ready to rock. You gave her no content to work with. You give her no interviews to do. You give her a cameraman that's got ADHD of the epic proportions in an assistant that just keeps on apologizing live on the microphone. And e, listen, I know you've been doing this for a long time, and you're. You know, everyone's entitled to a fuck up here and there, but if you're going to do this and you want some professionals to fuck it up, talk to Brian and Chrissy. Chrissy will go to the Met Gala directly after she shows up from Riverbeat. She'll go right to the Met Gala. Let's talk more about the Met Gala when we get back. We'll take a break. Great.

[Rachel]

Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3882. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us, and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] thecommercial break. Best to you and astronaut especially Astrid.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so then you go to. So we're talking about the Met Gala. Then you go to this, like, live on the red carpet Met Gala thing that, like I said, it appears to me that the Met Gala is just putting one feed together that everybody can pull from.

[Rachel]

You're watching the 2025. Let's give you a shout out.

[Brian Green]

And so. Thank you. Let's look at some of these. Fash.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, it looks like this one's coming from the Today Show.

[Brian Green]

Well, that's what it says. But if you go to, like, all the other ones, they're the exact same thing. That's why I think just like a White House press briefing room, I think they all pull from the same feed. Maybe says they're at the.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Oh, they're at different hotels too. The Pierre. Are they at different hotels, Carlisle.

[Brian Green]

Oh, so they're maybe because of the rain. They were just like coming out of the hotels or something. Very mindful.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Love it.

[Brian Green]

Very demure. That is very mindful. Very demure. It's giving me. Giving me. What is it giving you, Chrissy?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

It's giving me rain.

[Brian Green]

It's giving me cat that just ate a steak but has to take a big shit. What's it giving you, Chrissy?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Leather.

[Brian Green]

It's giving you leather. Is it giving you enlarged clitoris vibes? Because it's giving me pinky finger in the butt vibes. That's what it's giving me, Chrissy. Pinky finger in the butt. That's not a bad thing. I'm just saying. It's giving me flowers on your birthday from the boyfriend who just dumped you. That's what it's giving me. What's it giving you?

[Rachel]

I agree.

[Brian Green]

What's it giving you?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I agree.

[Brian Green]

It's giving me a headache. That's what it's giving me. I listened to like two hours of this and these people, every time that someone came out, they would be like, it's giving me. It's giving me. Yeah, it's giving me.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I just look at the pictures afterwards.

[Brian Green]

Is not the worst way to explain something. But it's giving me, I think is a phrase that might be a little bit burnt out sometimes.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And some of this fashion is really beautiful and some of it is just bad. It's just dumb. Yeah. I mean, I guess that's just fashion in general. Right. Would you go to the Met Gala?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I mean, I don't know if someone.

[Brian Green]

Invited you to the Met Gala?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I think I would have to go hotel. Now look at there. At the Mark Hotel.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, now they're at the Mark Hotel. I wonder why they go to all these different hotels. I thought it was like one big red carpet in front of the Met gal.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

It usually is, I think, when it's not raining. But I guess because it was raining, they went to hotels.

[Brian Green]

They did it under the. They did it under the awnings at the hotels. That is Cynthia Erivo right there. And a rather stunning cape thing dress.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Did you see Diana Ross's cape?

[Brian Green]

I did see Diana Ross's cape. That was like 18ft long or something. Yeah. I just don't. Something that irritates me a little bit sometimes about fashion, Nothing against Cynthia or Diana Ross, is that when you have to travel with a crew of people to hold you up. Do you know what I'm saying? It's like a train at. Do you have a train on your dress? I can't remember.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I've been to some weddings where it's like five or six people that are holding a train, like dragging the train behind them. And I don't know, but there's something a little bit irritating about that. It kind of like breaks the mystery of the fashion. Like the breaks the allure of the dress or something like that. Like, look at this. Here's Cynthia Erivo dressed beautifully stunning in this whatever outfit she's wearing. And then you've got some dude in the background with glasses and a moppy head of hair, like underneath her cape, just holding it up in the hair.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

That's a long cape, too.

[Brian Green]

That is a long cape. Remember when Katy Perry rolled out the lyrics to her album or whatever it was on the back of her. On the. She had like a train that like rolled out the back of the lyrics to her album. Yeah, yeah, good. Okay. I didn't see Katy Perry at the Met gala this year. Maybe her invitation was rescinded.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Maybe. Or maybe she's trying to lay low. Or maybe she's touring. Isn't she touring?

[Brian Green]

Well, I think her next. She did two shows in Mexico City. And then I think that was like practice for the North American tour that comes up. And if the practice in Mexico City is any indication of what people can expect coming up, I think you should ask for your money back because that was terrible.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I know. I saw some clips from it.

[Brian Green]

It's a. It's got to be a joke, right? I mean, is.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I don't know, it seemed unhinged.

[Brian Green]

Are we in on one of the biggest pop star jokes ever or are we on the outside looking into one of the biggest crashes of a pop star?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I think that might be the case.

[Brian Green]

Because between the rock and it, I didn't want to call it a ride. Between the roller coaster ride they took in Steve and Jeff Bezos, little projectile thing. Between that and the images that came out of that Mexico City concert where she was literally playing with lightsabers on stage. She had a talking poop that was singing with her. Did you see that part?

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I did not see that part.

[Brian Green]

She had a toilet that was maybe a toilet 4x. Yes, a toilet that was 4x the size of a regular toilet. She was sitting on little steps at the top of the toilet bowl, the actual bowl where the shit goes in and then up popped a puppet shit that was human sized. And it was singing along with her to one of her songs.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

So Katie really pushing the envelope as far as pop stardom is concerned. And then you see someone like Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga, who is just as ostentatious and weird and wild as Katie has ever been, but in a different way. Like a more like cutting, bruising, dark way. And she had over 2 million people, by some estimates. 2 million people showed up in Rio to watch her do a concert, which is insanity. Two million human beings.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I know. And I saw that they, like, thwarted a bomb. Bomb threat or something.

[Brian Green]

They arrested like four or five people who were going to do some damage at that concert or who intended to do some damage at that concert. And thank God that didn't happen, because that sea of human beings. First of all, you and I went to Pearl Jam that had another concert next door, and it took us an hour and a half to get a half a mile outside of the vicinity. Can you imagine going to a concert with 2 million people? No, that's insane. A big saludes to Lady Gaga, who has certainly reached the very pinnacle of stardom, because first of all, they said it's the largest audience ever by a female artist. And I don't know who had a bigger. Who had a bigger crowd.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I think Madonna had a big turnout.

[Brian Green]

One year at the same location like this. Is that what Rio does? They. They lock off the beach and.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, it was in Taylor Swift. Didn't she have to do something there, too?

[Brian Green]

I think she might have, yeah.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Do something.

[Brian Green]

And so there's a video going around. Maybe I'll find it. Maybe we can. Maybe. I'll see if I can link to it. There's a video going around of Lady Gaga doing her sound check the night before, and there are hundreds of thousands of people. So imagine there's a huge stage on the beach, and then there's maybe like three football field, large gated area right in front of the stage. That I guess is the ticketed area. Like you got tickets. You can go a little bit closer. It's three football fields. It's huge. And it's blocked off. And then outside that. So there's nobody standing in the front of the stage for three football fields. And then outside the stage, there are hundreds of thousands of people in the buildings, on the streets, hanging off the lamppost. No, they're singing along with her during the sound check. During the sound check.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Okay. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So they're drowning her out because they are singing so loud that she can't. That she can't even Hear herself, I would imagine I wouldn't even be able to hear myself. What a feeling that must be. Chrissy and Brian one time almost sold four seats at the Daniel Point Improv in Daniel Point.

[Rachel]

Yes.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yes. So we're close.

[Brian Green]

We're close.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

We're close to doing that feeling.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we came close to knowing what it feels.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Go ahead and skip Dania beach and try to go straight to Rio.

[Brian Green]

I actually think we'd probably sell more tickets in Rio than we would at Daniel Point. Daniel beach, whatever it's called. For some reason, I feel like the.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

People of Rio might embrace us.

[Brian Green]

Well, they would go, why not? I mean, you know, it's free, let's go. But then, you know, Lady Gaga has however many, I would imagine 50,000, 60,000, 75,000 people pay, and then another 1.789 million people show up on the beach. How do you even hear when you're that far back? I don't think it matters to the Brazilians. I think they're like, fuck this, they.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Just want to be a part of it.

[Brian Green]

Great party, let's go. Or maybe they play it on the radio or something and you can listen to your headphones. Or maybe they do put speakers all the way back there, I don't know. But it was just amazing to me. It gave me chills to see the video of that because. And then there's like a part that they showed where at the end of the concert, toward the end of the concert, she's singing a song. All of her backup dancers are standing around her. She's sitting on the stage and she's ending the song and she's like sobbing, she's crying. And somebody put on Instagram. The moment when you realize there's no higher to go, right? It's like, that's it. What else do you do? What it must be like, it must be like to be actually enjoyed by somebody, you know, we'll get there one day at a time. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. One day at a time. Anyway, met gala. I was gonna show you more of the outfits, but TV's acting a little funky, so nevermind. So you move on, you bail. That's what you do. Chrissy.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

I did see a recap of some. One of the photos the next day.

[Brian Green]

And God bless Flau J, Flow J, whatever her, however you say that name. And I'm sorry if I'm. I am slaughtering it probably. But I'm sorry about that. But God bless her. I Didn't feel like, holy shit, this girl's embarrassing herself. I felt like, holy shit, this girl got hung out to drop.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah. You're wrong.

[Brian Green]

You're E. Entertainment. You can figure this out. Out. If you can figure out how to put. What's that? Weatherman's got Al Roker. If you can figure out how to get Al Roker on the red carpet, you can figure out how to get Flower J an interviewer too. All right? Don't leave her out to dry. Anyway, do us a favor, please, please, please. If you're listening to us on Apple specifically or Spotify, go follow us and. And rate the show. I don't care what you rate it. Rate it a one rated a zero, rated a five rated something. Just rate it. Do us a favor and do that. 12 hours TCB coming to you May 31st. It's a Saturday. Chrissy and I gonna be here for 12 straight hours doing commercial break episodes. We'll have celebrity guests. We're gonna be talking about mental health awareness. We're going to be celebrating five years of the commercial break, six seasons of the commercial break. And all for you, my friends. All for you. And just to see if we can do it, to be quite frank, I'm just. It's a feat of endurance that I'm hoping that we can accomplish.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

To celebrate Mental Health Awareness Month.

[Brian Green]

Yes, to celebrate Mental Health Awareness Month, we are going to drive ourselves crazy. And you too, probably. So there you go. Tune in May 31st, mark your calendars. That's a Saturday. Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock YouTube.com the commercial break for all of the episodes on video same day. They are here on the audio. 212-4333. TCB 212-43822. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. We take them all at that phone number and tcbpodcast.com for your free TCP sticker.

[Krista Joy Hoadley]

Oh, the stickers.

[Brian Green]

Oh, the stickers. We'll talk about that tomorrow. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I'll tell you that I love you. Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say goodbye. Ra.