Pavlov's Bryan

Summary

The Commercial Break – "Pavlov's Bryan"

Release Date: December 4, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Main Theme:
A comedic, freewheeling look at nostalgia, holiday season frustrations, pop culture—especially the oddities of streaming, snacks, and legendary musicians—plus behind-the-scenes podcast banter, all with the signature unpolished, riffing TCB style.

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Holiday Season Road Rage and the Tesla Truck Menace

Timestamps: 00:30 – 05:48

• Bryan kicks off ranting about holiday traffic, lamenting the “old ladies and old men” driving slowly and blaming the influx of cautious (or oblivious) drivers for his increased stress.
• Specific ire aimed at “soccer dads” who self-righteously drive below the limit, and especially Tesla Trucks:
  • Bryan: “Why are you driving a Tesla truck in the middle of north suburbs in Atlanta? ... Never ever has a tool been in the back of that truck and never will be.” (03:06)
• Bafflement at Tesla truck design, suggesting it looks like “Elon Musk had sex with a refrigerator.” (04:55)
• Krissy jokes Bryan just did a Festivus airing of grievances:
  • Krissy: “Is this a Festivus episode? Because you just aired your grievances.” (05:41)

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Roundabouts, Traffic Annoyances, and European Driving Terrors

Timestamps: 06:09 – 11:42

• Bryan and Krissy debate cautious vs. aggressive drivers; Bryan despairs that slow drivers don’t realize they’re causing giant backups.
• Roundabouts: Europe vs. U.S., with Bryan describing his anxiety about driving the Arc de Triomphe circle:
  • Bryan: “For the seven hour drive ... all I could think about was that we were going to have ... our hotel was near the Arc, I was going to have to go on that roundabout.” (08:28)
• Rant about local drivers who can’t handle single-lane roundabouts—reserving special vitriol for locals, not out-of-state plates:
  • Bryan: “If you ... wait till the entire traffic circle is clear ... you are officially a dumbass.” (11:09)
• Admits to being less angry than in his youth, channeling simmering rage into the podcast instead of road rage incidents.

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Music, SiriusXM, and the Crimes of "Gasms"

Timestamps: 12:15 – 18:03

• Bryan reveals his love/hate relationship with SiriusXM, but is horrified that Smokey Robinson released a new Christmas album with the song “Gasms.”
  • Bryan: “That album is so fucking disturbing, it’s almost criminal to play it on air. ... You give me gasms. Gasms. Gasms.” (16:11)
• Imagines a backup singer’s reaction:
  • Bryan [As a backup singer]: “You booked me on what? Gasms? You say orgasm? No, just gasms.” (15:29)
• Reminisces about his grandparents’ “hi-fi” and learning good musical taste, but questions who approved "Gasms":
  • “What in the good fuck were they thinking when they laid down Gasms? … Like, I don’t know. Hey, baby, you want me give you a gasm? No, I don’t.” (18:04)

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SiriusXM Channels and the Dream of a TCB Retrospective

Timestamps: 20:08 – 26:54

• Bryan speculates on SiriusXM artist channel payouts (“$20,000 a week, maybe a million per year for Smokey Robinson”), and how channels boost fandom—especially Pearl Jam, Bruce Springsteen, etc.
• Bryan: “Now, we probably repeat lots of words and stories, but you could play The Commercial Break for a month and a half and not repeat one episode!” (22:21)
• Nostalgia about the Howard Stern Sirius documentary, and dreams of a future epic TCB “life story” series:
  • Bryan: “Wouldn’t it be amazing to put together a retrospective of our almost five full years of The Commercial Break?” (25:14)
  • Krissy suggests Christina (the producer) edit a life-story episode with only others talking about TCB.

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Behind the Podcast Curtain: Christina in the Closet and TCB on Video

Timestamps: 26:54 – 29:16

• Christina complains, tongue-in-cheek:
  • Christina (liner): “I am currently trapped in the closet in the studio being forced to record liner after liner and I never get to leave ... help me by following us on Instagram!” (26:54)
• Push for YouTube/video expansion; self-deprecating about how video adds “a layer of obnoxiousness you just can’t afford to miss.” (28:04)
• Praises Christina for her work enduring hours of TCB audio: “She really does a great job, despite having to listen to us all the time.” (29:14)

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Bryan’s McDonald’s Origin Story—and the Pavlov’s Dog Moment

Timestamps: 29:16 – 39:56

• At his childhood McDonald's (next to his kids' swim class), Bryan is flooded with nostalgia:
  • Sex on the roof, first fistfight, and lots of weed in the basement (“... I had sex on top of that McDonald’s … I was down in the basement. I was making movies. I was smoking pot. The owner was calling my dad ...” (30:29)
  • Reminisces about the “legend” Larry—no teeth, maybe homeless, but McDonald's grill master and kind mentor.
• Explains secret menu items staff would make; grill orders (“child labor is cheap”).
• “Formative” memories, from special menu hacks to the intensity of the breakfast rush.

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Pavlov’s Bryan: How Fast Food Beeps Haunt His Brain

Timestamps: 37:05 – 41:04

• The sound of the fry machine is a Pavlovian trigger:
  • Bryan: "I hear that fry machine beep... I'm like a Pavlovian dog. Something turns in my head and I'm like—get those fries, get those fries!” (37:05)
• Krissy notes the evocative power of smell connecting memories.
• Bryan explains fry machine “trauma” — waking up to imaginary beeping; shamed if “Larry had to take the fries out … he would give you a look. ... Come on guys, I’m already making 170 burgers a minute, now you want me on fries too?” (37:51–38:33)
• Links people-pleasing “utility player” instincts to this job, and wonders if Christina is haunted by TCB audio as he was by fry beeps.

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On Hearing Your Own Voice, Repetition, and Self-Critique

Timestamps: 40:33 – 42:12

• Both admit to discomfort hearing their own voices on recordings.
• Bryan calls out his overused catchphrases: “If I say 'the whole nine yards' one more time ... text me and tell me what a fucking asshole I am.” (41:04)
• Comic meta-moment: self-aware, embracing their own quirks and imperfections.

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Yellowstone, Land Man, and TV Hype Satire

Timestamps: 43:10 – 48:03

• Riff on “Yellowstone” and spin-offs.
  • Krissy is a fan; Bryan skeptical but drawn in by hype—pokes fun at TV trailer hyperbole:
    • Bryan (quoting ad): “Nothing can prepare you for what comes next.” (50:56)
  • Jokes that even kids are brainwashed by promos.
  • Bryan: “Listen, you can’t prepare for explosive diarrhea. You can certainly prepare for a television show.” (52:13)
• Discussion spirals into Kevin Costner’s career (and Water World), praising his persistence, comparing him to James Cameron, and lampooning Hollywood's drama.

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Ted Turner, Dave Letterman, and Legendary Oddballs

Timestamps: 54:28 – 61:05

• Revisit 80s/90s icons who helped shape “streaming” or TV:
  • Ted Turner: Founded CNN, bought Braves, started the Goodwill Games, bought enough land to “ride a horse from Canada to Mexico.”
  • Side-note: Turner documentary highly recommended by Krissy.
• Aspirational comedy: Bryan dreams of a Netflix-style Letterman interview in Montana:
  • Bryan: “If you invite me to your house for the weekend, your bed will be made both days I stay there. How’s that, Chrissy?” (60:10)
• Johnny Carson as the original enigmatic "ghost" celebrity, contrasting with Letterman’s continued media presence.

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Closing & Calls to Action

Timestamps: 61:04 – End

• “Moral of the story” jokes: “We all make mistakes—sometimes I didn’t get to the fry machine on time, Johnny Carson wasn’t perfect, Kevin Costner’s not always historically sensitive, and Dave Letterman shouldn’t have interns...” (61:03)
• Plug for TCB social media, requests for sticker requests (with a plea not to be greedy), and more self-deprecating TCB humor about their fame and reach.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Why are you driving a Tesla truck in the middle of north suburbs in Atlanta? ... You’re driving A refrigerator around my town. Stop it.” (Bryan, 03:06)
• “If you ... wait till the entire traffic circle is clear ... you are officially a dumbass. You gotta go.” (Bryan, 11:09)
• “That album is so fucking disturbing, it’s almost criminal to play it on air. ... You give me gasms. Gasms. Gasms.” (Bryan, 16:11)
• “Wouldn’t it be amazing to put together a retrospective of our almost five full years of The Commercial Break?” (Bryan, 25:14)
• “I hear that fry machine beep... I’m like a Pavlovian dog ... get those fries, get those fries!” (Bryan, 37:05)
• “Listen, you can’t prepare for explosive diarrhea. You can certainly prepare for a television show.” (Bryan, 52:13)
• “If you invite me [to Letterman’s house] for the weekend, your bed will be made both days I stay there. How’s that, Chrissy?” (Bryan, 60:10)

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Tone and Style

• Irreverent, quick-witted, deeply self-aware with a running theme of “we’re just fine, not for everyone.”
• Banter-heavy, observational humor with playful self-deprecation and a nostalgia-soaked lens.
• Willingness to dunk on themselves, the podcast business, and all things pop culture.

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For Listeners New and Old

“Pavlov’s Bryan” is an exemplar of The Commercial Break’s blend of nostalgic storytelling, off-the-cuff pop culture critique, dark humor, and the kind of conversational intimacy only decades-long friends can pull off. If you want to feel like you’re sitting in on a hilarious, meandering, slightly unhinged conversation about everything from Tesla design crimes to Smokey Robinson’s greatest musical sins—even as you’re learning far too much about McDonald’s backrooms—this episode delivers in full.

Transcript

[A]

Mariah. I don't wanna be here. I don't wanna be. I don't wanna be here. On this episode of the commercial break. Here she is, you know, serving food out the window just like I was back then. And then I hear that fry machine beep, beep, beep. I'm like a Pavlovian dog. Something turns in my head and I'm like, get those fries. Get those fries. You gotta get those fries. Fries are gonna burn. Get those fries, put them in there and shake that salt while they're still hot. You better do that right. Not too much salt. Just a little bit of salt. Not too much. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian gre. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[B]

Best to you, Brian.

[A]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Hope you're doing well. Smack dab in the middle of holiday season. I hope you're revving down, de stressing, having fun. I personally rev up because a lot of old ladies are out there on the road. A lot of old ladies and old men, especially in my part of town, are out there driving maliciously slowly in front of me. And it drives me. Take it.

[B]

I've been in the car with you.

[A]

I hate the Christmas season for I. Excuse me, let me repeat that. I love the Christmas season, but I dislike being on the roads during the Christmas season because it seems like every nudnik who got their fucking license on the back of a cereal box is out there driving around trying to find gifts for their great grandson. And they get in front of me and I go crazy, crazy, crazy. Either that or it's the soccer dad who thinks he's the police officer of the neighborhood, so he's gonna drive exactly 33 miles per hour in a 35 zone to make you slow down, young man. Fuck you. I got places to go and 75 children. And then, and then I seem to be living in the land of Tesla trucks up here and it's driving me banana. I can't take it. There are so many Tesla trucks where I live. So many Tesla trucks, and they all, all of them seem to be driving like assholes. Why are you driving a Tesla truck in the middle of north suburbs in Atlanta? There's no good reason. Never ever has a tool been in the back of that truck and never will be. Why are you driving it? What? What are we doing? You're driving A refrigerator around my town. Stop it. Is there an ice maker in that thing? I don't know. Okay, I. Listen, I get it. Some people think it's a cool car and it has nothing to do with politics, and they don't care about Elon Musk. They just think it's a cool car. Okay? God, Bl. I. I'm. I'm not saying you shouldn't ever own a Tesla truck because Elon Musk or politics or whatever, but honestly, can you drive like a fucking human being? Take it off auto drive or whatever is going on? Because those Tesla trucks, anytime I get behind one, to the side of one, or in the front of one, someone is always driving rather erratically in those things. And I think it's because they can't see because there's no right angles in the car. It's perpendicular angles everywhere. 50ft off the ground. There are 75 different window shades and colorings and angles. How do you see out of that thing? I guess it's got magic cameras that keeps it on the road or something. Whatever. Just stop it. Stop it. I think all the grandmothers and grandpas, all the Tesla trucks and all the soccer dads who want to be police officers, they should all just have their own neighborhood where they can drive around and piss each other off and see who can drive the slowest or furthest outside of the lane. And I swear to God, I was driving down the street the other day, and out of a. Like, one of these blind drives comes this Tesla truck, and it's just going 70 miles per hour outside its own driveway. And it. I came. I came within 12ft, 15ft of getting in a terrible accident. He did not stop. He did not look. There was no brake supply tank.

[B]

It is a tank barreling down the road.

[A]

Yes, it's a tank, but I have a suspicion it's not really a tank. Like, if you were to get in a car accident, it would probably crumple. More like Styrofoam because it just looks. I just don't like the look of it. Listen, I know a lot of people are. There's like. It's mixed reviews, right? Some people are like, it's just not utilitarian. It's for people who want to drive a car that looks like that, right? But I don't like the look of them. There's Tesla cars that I love the look of. Like those Tesla, you know, the. The coupes and the sedans or whatever you call. I don't know the car terms. You know, the. The Regular cars. I think they're beautiful cars. I do, too.

[B]

And they're great inside.

[A]

Yes, I've looked at them. We thought about buying one, but that truck does make no sense to me. It makes nonsense to me. It looks terrible. It looks terrible. It literally looks like Elon Musk, I don't know. Had sex with a refrigerator. I mean, that's how. I don't know. It just looks weird. It just looks weird. It does. Yes, I agree. The dads up here that are driving these things around, running people off the road, you know, it's just like, come on, guys, get a regular truck that you don't put tools in. Be like the rest of the idiots and get a regular truck that you don't put tools in. Does that thing even have a place for tools? I don't know. I guess the pop tops up or whatever. I've watched videos on it. Anyway, I'm not here to talk about tin cans and Elon Musk and. And driving a can of pinto beans around town.

[B]

Well, I think we might be. Is this a Festivus episode? Because you just aired your grievances.

[A]

Oh, I did.

[B]

That's part of the Festivus.

[A]

Nothing like turning on the commercial break in the middle of the holidays to hear br Lying whine and complain about white people problems. Only an old white man can complain about other old men in a way that makes no sense whatsoever. All right, okay, I'm done. But here's what I do have to say about driving, because, you know, you spend a lot more time, I think, in your car during the holiday season. Getting to and fro, going shopping, just generally, you know, taking the kids to activities and all this, if you have kids. But so I'm relying.

[B]

Grocery stores.

[A]

That's it. Yeah, all this stuff. And there tends to be more traffic because more people are out on the road more often doing whatever it is they do for the holidays, whatever the fuck grandmas do. Who let grandma out of the house, by the way?

[B]

Honestly, it's hard to take away those keys, I'll tell you that.

[A]

I live in this part of town where, you know, it's a mixed bag. There's. There's guys like me who are very angry, running, banging their heads against the steering wheel. Angry driving, driving as fast as they possibly can to wherever they're going. There's, you know, people, like I said, there's dads and moms who believe they are police officers. So they drive to me two miles per hour under the speed limit to slow you down or everybody Else behind you. I don't get it. When you're driving and when you're driving and I know like, if not everybody feels comfortable driving, some people get scared of driving or they want to be really cautious as they should be because you're driving essentially a murder weapon around. Right. But when you're driving down a two lane street, you know, one lane each way. When you drive it down a two lane street and you're going 7 miles per hour under the speed limit and there is a line of 40 cars behind you, all of which are just like driving so close to each other because everyone wants to literally drive over the person in front of you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, don't you ever just like look back and go, oh, I'm, I'm causing a bit of a traffic jam back there. I guess I should put the pedal up just a little bit. Do you ever. I mean, I just, I don't think.

[B]

It'S, I don't think they're thinking that. I think they.

[A]

No, no, I think they're, they're nudniks that just are.

[B]

There's also, there's also a lot of people from out of town.

[A]

Safety first.

[B]

Coming through.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And whatever.

[A]

I'll give you a little bit of a break. If you've got a out of state license plate, I'll give you a little bit of a break. We have a roundabout here and roundabouts in florid, pretty common roundabouts in Georgia, not as common, but they're there.

[B]

They're becoming more, more and more.

[A]

Because they are fantastic traffic diffusers. Yes. Much better than a light. If, if, if it's the right setup. Right. If you're in a major intersection, then like, then it doesn't make a lot of sense. But in Europe they have traffic circles almost every, very rarely do you see.

[B]

There'S Big Ben traffic, folks.

[A]

Kids, Big Ben.

[B]

There it is.

[A]

Parliament. Big Ben, Parliament.

[B]

He gets stuck in the roundabout.

[A]

Yeah, sometimes. Yeah. When we were in France and the Arc de Triomphe, that is like a notoriously dangerous, very complicated roundabout. Even the cab drivers get nervous about it. They'll tell you they're nervous about it. And so when we went there and I rented a car, we drove all over Europe. We drove from Barcelona to Paris just a number of years ago and, and my brothers were behind me in another car. And I will tell you something. For the seven hour drive from wherever we were in France to Paris, all I could think about was that we were going to have. Our hotel was near the Arc. I was going to have to go on that roundabout for seven hours. I strategized about how I was going to do this because I had been there, you know, before, and I knew.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That even the taxi drivers take it easy. Like, they. They very calculated about how they get in that traffic circle. There are seven lanes, and everyone is moving every different way. Yeah. You have to.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

The only good news is the traffic is only moving in one direction, or should be. But bikes, so many scooters, cars, taxi drivers. It doesn't. In a blinker. In that situation doesn't. You know, it doesn't matter because people are just going to move over anyway. Like, it's all so.

[B]

Wow, that is. That is confusing.

[A]

And the people who are like, in the very last lane near the Ark, Right. What are they doing all the way over there? I guess they're just taking a tour around the Ark a bunch of times. I don't know. It's. Take a look at a picture of it. It's intimidating and. But I got through it. And we did it a number of times and we got through. But I'm telling you, it's. It's. Anyway, there's a traffic circle up here with one lane. That's it.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

One circ. That's all you gotta do. Yield to the person that's coming. Like, if you pull up to a traffic circuit, you look to your left here in the United States, you look to your left and you say, is there anyone coming? Do. Am I calculating that I have enough distance to make it not bother anybody else or cause anybody else to stop short. Okay, great. Go.

[B]

Yeah, that's it.

[A]

Not really that hard, right? Not all that hard. And I understand if it's your first traffic circle ever, maybe you take a few extra seconds to get your bearings and understand what's going on. And if you're a cautious driver, maybe you make sure there's a lot of space in between it. But I go in that traffic circle every fucking day, sometimes multiple times a day. And sometimes the out of state drivers, I give them a little bit extra time. Yeah. I'm like, okay, this might be your first traffic circle ever. I got to be aware of that. Right? But if you have a license plate from the same town that I live in, and you know, you're my. I know that you live. Like, I can literally know you live on my street. And you sit there and just wait and wait and wait. You wait till the entire traffic circle is clear. There's no one there and has been no One there for a minute and a half before you go. You are officially a dumbass. You gotta go.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then there's 3,000 cars behind you. Oh, my God, Kristy drives me crazy. And you know what? I should let that shit go. I honestly should. I'm a grown man. I shouldn't get all worked up about this. And I'm so much better than I used. This is so much better than I used to be, by the way. This right now is so much better than I used to be. And I'm not gonna get into, you know, I'm not. Road rage incidents. That's not for me. Like, I don't, you know, hit people, get out of my car, yell at people. I don't do that. I secretly stew inside of my head letting it.

[B]

Let it out here.

[A]

Let. Yes. Let it all boil up until the next episode. Commercial break. That's what I do. You're right. You're so right about that. But, you know, we're all here spending so much more time in our car because of this. I said to myself, well, you know, I better get acclimated to a couple of channels on Sirius that I like, that I can chew on, right? And so there's the old go to. There's the news stations, BBC World, msnbc, cnn, Fox News, if you really want to drive yourself crazy. And then there's the music stations. Christmas, you know, all of the rock and pop and all that other stuff. So I'm listening to whatever station I'm listening to on Sirius, which is wonderful, by the way. I love Sirius. I think they're lovely. Odyssey's better. But I love serious. They're great satellite radio company. I will tell you that I heard the most disturbing thing I think I've heard all. All season yet. And that is that Smokey Robinson has his own Christmas channel. Smokey Robinson, guys. Okay, I want to remind. Yeah, Christmas hits, probably. Probably.

[B]

He's been around.

[A]

Yeah, he was in Motown. I bet they put out a Christmas album. Fourth of July, they put on two Christmas albums a year. Probably they were just hit makers. Like hit after hit after hit after hit. They would put. And I think the part of the formula was keep putting music out all the time.

[B]

Never stop a constant traffic circle.

[A]

Traffic circle. It's the Arc de Triomphe. Seven lanes, always cars in there. But I do I need to remind you of the crime that Smokey Robinson laid on us earlier this year when he dropped an album.

[B]

Oh, that's right.

[A]

And I just want to play a little bit of it. For the audience that may not have picked this up. Smokey Robinson earlier this year, dropped an album. And that album is so fucking disturbing that it's almost. It's almost criminal to play it on air. But I'm going to play a little bit of it and Because I can't play too much of it, because I'm sure Smokey and his gang are going to go after Smokey and the gang. Smokey and the Four Tops or whatever it is. I'm going to come after us. Okay. All right. All right. Ready? Listen to this.

[B]

I'm ready.

[A]

Okay. Oh, yeah. The smooth sounds of Smokey Robinson's Christmas channel on Sirius. You'll hear hits like Gasms. The. The worst part is this is actually a good groove.

[B]

It is.

[A]

I know. Here it comes. Ready? Oh, no, that's not it. It's coming. Nothing like a French horn to get things settled in. You know what I'm saying, Chris?

[B]

I mean, I get into the music part of it.

[A]

Look at you. It makes me feel better than good. When I look at you, it makes me feel better than good. I'm knocking on wood. Wait, he's knocking on what? W. Here it comes. Each ey Every time I take a look, you give me.

[B]

The background singers coming in.

[A]

Can you imagine? Hey, Dana, it's Tony, the manager. Hi, Tony. Listen, I gotta. You're not gonna believe this. I just got you booked on an amazing album. You're gonna be a backup singer for Smokey Robinson. Smokey, I've always wanted to work with Smokey. What's he doing? I'm gonna send over the lyrics. Just be mindful. Smokey's in his old age and, you know, he may not be well. Oh, okay. Gasms. You book me on what? Gasms. You say orgasm? No, just gasms. No. Or just gasms. We're gonna gasms. Gasms, Gasms. Basically, I'm paying you to repeat the word gasms over and over again in tune. This is a highlight of my career.

[B]

Gasms, gasms, gasms.

[A]

You give me g. Chasms. Yeah. Smokey Robinson put out an album earlier this year with many songs that. The lyrics are questionable, but I think we can all just agree that just hearing gasms pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the album. There are other songs that are just as strange lyrically. I swear to God, there are. I listened to a number of them in my own free time. That's not to bother you. But I'm telling you right now, take my word for it. This is weird. And Smokey Robinson is a fucking legend. Don't get me wrong. Love, Smokey. I grew up on Smokey Robinson in. I'd never forget that high five that my grandfather and grandmother had in their house in Melrose Park, Illinois, extraordinarily Italian neighborhood. Which meant that there was a lot of gangsters around. But what it also. There was some flavor in the neighborhood. Right. There was a lot of in. In that Italian culture. There was a lot of people who were very much into Motown. And that was the sound of the streets for some folks. And so my grandfather and grandmother, they really picked up on that. And so they had some of the best albums on that hi fi. And when I say hi fi, I mean a cabinet that was six feet long, three and a half feet tall, made of pure wood, that had two speakers embedded into a decorative wood paneling, right? And then you would pop open. It just looked like a cabinet. And then you would pop it open and there was that beautiful record player. And then it had storage for the records or the eight tracks. It also had an eight track and it was fancy. This thing was a new fangled. That was the technology of the day. Yeah. And Smokey Robinson was. There were multiple Smokey Robinson albums. Multiple Motown.

[B]

Had to be.

[A]

My grandfather and grandmother gave me a gift. And that is the taste of really good music early on in life. Now, I don't know what happened. It all went to when I got into 33 penis. But I will say this, that Smokey Robinson was the sound of a lot of Christmases and a lot of holiday, you know, get togethers and festive events and stuff like that. Because my grandmother and grandfather would lay it down. I mean, they would just lay it down. It was incredible fun. But I don't know who is managing Smokey Robinson right now. And I'm not saying that maybe Smokey decided to do this on his own. Maybe it has nothing to do with his management. But what in the good fuck were they thinking when they laid down gasms? It just sounds disturbing. It just the word sounds disturbing. Like I don't know. Hey, baby, you want me give you a gasm? No, I don't. Leave your penis. Put your penis away. What did you just say to me? I said gasm. Gasm. Gasm, baby Eyegasms. My gasms. Your gasms. Orgasms. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. Brian. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. Brian, please put that penis away. I don't know what that is. It's a gross I don't even know what that means in English, but I know in Spanish it means mierda. Shit.

[B]

Was that Astrid?

[A]

That was Astrid. Of course it was. Yes, Astrid, my love of my life. Brian, it's time to go down to the retirement center again. You're getting a little crazy. Let's go get your calcium checked, honey. Come on with me. No gasms for you today or tomorrow. Oh, I've been having gasms with the pool boy. Don't you worry about it. I've got plenty of gasms I'm all full of. So anyway, you know, I'm not. Not to dissuade you from listening to us on the Odyssey app. I want to make sure I'm playing it even here. But Sirius xm, if you want to check out Smokey Robinson's new Christmas channel, maybe they'll drop in a gasm here and there. You never know.

[B]

They have to.

[A]

Of course they do. Yeah, that's probably the deal. Well, first of all, good for Smokey, because, you know, you're getting bank when you have your own serious channel, I would imagine. How much do you think that. How much do you think they get? They. They pay somebody for the, like, licensing. Right.

[B]

I don't even know what's the going. Right.

[A]

Well. Well, I would think 20,000 a week, 25,000 a week. Like something like that. $100,000 a month. Ish. Maybe a million bucks a year. Million. Two a year for someone like Smokey Robinson. You know, there's lots of people who have their own channel. Billy Joel, Green Day, Pearl Jam, Fish, Grateful Dead, you know, they all have. And I would imagine it's a licensing deal. But then they like, at least on like, some of those channels, giving like Pearl Jam as an example, they will have band members come in and either do like, radio shows or talk in and out of songs or give little stories or whatever. It's. It's a good thing. I like it. If you're into it. If you're into a particular musician.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they give you your own channel, you can really have an opportunity to dig in. Bruce Springsteen's got. There's lots and lots of artists that have them. But I would think that it's a licensing thing, so it probably has to do with your record company, whoever owns the licensing to your music. But then I would imagine.

[B]

How many subscribers?

[A]

Yeah, how many? How many subscribers? They're getting a chunk of the revenue. How many people tune in? Like, they all say it's limited time. Right. It's on for a Limited time. But like, Pearl Jam's been a limited time option for like six years. And they play entire live concerts. They do the same thing with Fish and Grateful Dead and, you know, a lot of these other champ, Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen, they'll play all these live concerts, you know, that they have in their archive, which is great for a fan if you want to dig in and then you hear stories from band members or the actual artists themselves is amazeballs. And I would think that depending on how many people tune in every year you renegotiate that contract, you say, oh, well, there's, you know, 100,000 people, right, tuning in, so $7 million. Now, I think that the same thing could happen with Odyssey. They could have their own commercial break channel live on that Odyssey app. But I'm not saying. I'm just saying if anybody from Odyssey is listening, they're smart over there.

[B]

They enough in the Vaul.

[A]

Oh, yes. We could literally play episodes. Let me do a little mathing here. I'm just gonna. Before we take a break here, let's see here. 650 times 1.2, 812 divided by 24. You could literally play the commercial break for almost a month and a half and never repeat a word. Now, we probably repeat lots of words and stories, right? But you could play the commercial break for a month and a half and not repeat one episode. Oh, my God, can you imagine? Can you imagine? Can you imagine the glory that would be the Odyssey's commercial break channel? Non stop commercial break with additional commentary from the commercial break.

[B]

Yeah, we would comment on our own show.

[A]

Yes, we comment on our own show. Well, I remember this time I told this story about losing my virginity. Let me tell you the story about me losing my virginity. Me commenting on my own stories by telling the same story. It would be brilliant. Brilliant. Who doesn't want that? Everyone I know. You know, one of the things that, like, I will always remember about Sirius X, a lot of things like SiriusXM I do like, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

One of the things I really thought was revolutionary with SiriusXM is the audio documentaries that they would put together. And one of the ones that really blew my mind was the Howard Stern. The, like, the Howard Stern, I don't know what they called it, like, retrospective or whatever they called it. And this went on for weeks. They, like, literally took it year by year, and they would do like an hour and a half, two hours of this documentary talking, getting comments from his family and friends and people who were there at this time or that time or Whatever turn in his career, it was quite revolutionary. It was made so well, created so well, that you could not stop listening. And I remember we were working at Clear Channel at the time, so many years ago. I pulled in into the parking lot, and I pulled next to our market president at the time, and I was so engrossed in this audio documentary that I sat in the car for 30 minutes, and I noticed that the market meeting. Yeah, well, listen, the market president. I missed all the meetings. What are you talking about? I was, like, never there. The market president was also sitting in his car, too. Oh.

[B]

Listening to the same.

[A]

Listening to the same thing. But then it turns out we were not the only ones in the parking lot doing that. There was, like, an audio engineer and another salesperson. And, like, when it ended, we all kind of got out of the car at the same time, and we knew. We knew. We knew what was going on. It was so good. So wouldn't it be amazing to put together a retrospective of our almost five full years of the commercial break?

[B]

Yes, yes, yes.

[A]

The time we went broke, the time we stayed broke, the time we are broke.

[B]

That's how we spent all the money that we.

[A]

The time we spent, all the money that we did make. On the series.

[B]

We'll interview Astrid and Jeff.

[A]

Yes. Astrid. That my kids. Blue. Noemi. Christina could be the disgruntled employee. Oh, it's brilliant. I love it. I love it. We should do it.

[B]

Why don't we do that next year for the Christmas instead of signing us up for fresh content?

[A]

It if I. I put this challenge to Christina, because this is all her. I'm not gonna do any of it. I mean, I could help out a little bit, I guess. I put this challenge to Christina. If you want to do, like, you know, the story, the life of the commercial break, the story of the commercial break. A retrospective. Go for it, and we can play.

[B]

It 2020 through 2024. The lost years.

[A]

I know the last years, which is the entirety of the commercial break. Yeah. Howard Sterns was, like, two weeks long. It was, like, literally 28 hours or something like that. Ours would be 28 minutes.

[B]

I like it.

[A]

Yeah. Well, hey, listen. Give the listeners a break from just hearing the regular hearing us. Here's a challenge. Christina, make the life of the commercial break using none of our voice. Everybody else just talking about it. I don't think you could find people to fill 28 minutes talking about the commercial break. All right, all right. We've gone so long. Let's take a break. We'll Be back.

[C]

In case you guys were wondering, I am currently trapped in the closet in the studio being forced to record liner after liner and I never get to leave. So help me by following us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok @TCB podcast. And go to our website, tcbpodcast.com for more information about Brian and Chrissy and access to our massive catalog of video and audio episodes. Now please text us at 212-4333, TCB. And tell Brian and Chrissy to let.

[A]

Me out of the closet. Okay. All right. A little housekeeping here. I know that Christina probably just said it to you during the commercial break, but we'll say it again. All episodes of the commercial break now available on YouTube and soon on Spotify video. So there are some peppered in there on Spotify if you're interested in watching that. But soon Chrissy and I will have all of the videos on YouTube. So please do us a favor. YouTube.com the commercial break. We'd love it if you take a watch. I think. I think watching us adds a layer of obnoxiousness to the show that you just can't afford to miss.

[B]

Can't afford to miss.

[A]

You can't afford to miss it. So anyway, go ahead and watch that.

[B]

It's our Christmas gift to everyone.

[A]

Yeah, we have a brand new video editing company. I will give them a shout. We plash and so far, so good, Chrissy. There you go. Well, we're only two episodes. Like, we have a team leader and I'm just wondering how long it's going to take him to be like, I'm out. I wonder how many team leaders we're gonna go through in the next couple of months.

[B]

Yeah, probably a lot.

[A]

You know, that's why I give Christina credit. Like, you know, we all have our lovers and our haters out there in the audience, right? You've got. Except remarkably, except for Astrid. No one seems to hate, dislike Astrid, but the rest of us, we take our fair share of shit and we get our fair share of compliments. Mainly all the other people. But anyway, I talk the most, so I get it. But I will say I give Christina this credit, and I think it's a lot of credit, is that Christina has come in here and now is the other person besides myself and you who have to sit through it, but the only other person that has to listen to every single minute of the commercial break. And she really does a great job, despite having to listen to us all the time. I mean, we must be in her head, you know.

[B]

Oh, having dreams, I'm sure.

[A]

So I take the kids to. I'll tell you this, and it'll lead back to Christina. So I take the kids to swimming. Swimming class, which is an indoor facility here in Atlanta. And it's cold here in Atlanta, and this place is humid and. Oh, yeah, it's like a sauna. It's miserable.

[B]

Chlorine smell.

[A]

Oh, I love the chlorine smell. Don't mind that. Did you know that every time I've gotten a blood test, I just, you know, I was going back, like, looking at my blood test results because of the whole calcium thing. It was on an app, so I was just looking through it. Every year for, like, nine years, my chlorine level's been very high. I think it's me trying to manage that pool outside. I think I'm just ingesting chlorine. No one seems to be worried about it, but no one seemed to be worried about my calcium either. So maybe I should ask.

[B]

Maybe. Yeah, you might want to ask.

[A]

Anyway, so we go to this place, and right next door is a McDonald's that I used to work at. Right?

[B]

Oh, that's the one you used to work at. Yes, I've been to that swimming facility.

[A]

Oh, you have?

[B]

Because I went to go.

[A]

The one in Cop county or pick.

[B]

Up or do something. I dropped you off there one day.

[A]

Oh, yes, you did.

[B]

Summer.

[A]

Yes, you did. That's right.

[B]

Yeah, I remember that. There was the McDonald's. Right.

[A]

That McDonald's is the one that I used to.

[B]

Okay, I didn't know that was the famous one.

[A]

That's the famous McDonald's. I had sex on top of that McDonald's.

[B]

You were on the roof.

[A]

I was on the roof. I was down in the basement. I was making movies. I was smoking pot. The owner was calling my dad to tell him I was smoking pot. I mean, there was a basement where we used to smoke cigarette. I mean, like, it was really my.

[B]

Don't think about a basement being at a McDonald's.

[A]

You don't? No, but that's where they kept all, like, the. What they call dry stock. Right. Like, all the paper cups and sauces and all the stuff that was packaged that you could keep. It was dry storage, essentially, is what it was. But they also had an office and a break room. Because the guy who owned that McDonald's also owned a number of other McDonald's.

[B]

That's usually the case, yes.

[A]

Which I imagine made him fabulously wealthy, especially when I used to work there. Was like the golden days of like. Oh yeah, you know, the, the, the value menu. Right. And Super Size Me and all that other.

[B]

Yeah, and there wasn't, there weren't as many choices either.

[A]

No, no, no, no. Not like there is today. And, and if you asked for something special, trust me, we hated you, right? I mean now it's not uncommon to go, I'll take a cheeseburger, no onions, no pickle, you know, do it your way. But that was the other guys, that was the Burger King. Have it your way. We were McDonald's and you just like, you got what you got. And if you ask for what's called a grill item, quote unquote, A grill item was when you ask for something special. Trust me, if you had a grill item in the 90s, everyone at that McDonald's knew who you were and hated you.

[B]

Was there a secret menu too when you worked there?

[A]

There was a secret menu that we would make for ourselves, but it was almost never asked for. I mean, people would come in and ask for ridiculous things, right? They would ask for, let's see, what was some of the stuff like at the time we had triple cheeseburgers. You can ask for that I believe now they'll make one for you. But it's not something I think is on the menu. But we had triple cheeseburger menu and it was just three patties, three pieces of cheese. You, this triple cheeseburger you got. It sounds, right, Just like it sounds. But we would. One of the guys that, that worked in the grill who had no teeth and no home, I mean, but the guy, but he was, his name was Larry. There were two Larry's that worked there and Larry literally had no teeth and he was skinny as fuck and something about him was fucking majestic to me. Like he was, you've talked about him before, he was, was so kind and so good at what he did and so competent at what he did and took pride in what he did. Even though he was a hot mess of a human being. I really admired his work ethic and the fact that he came in there every day and now I imagine high or hungover, right? He probably didn't lose his teeth on accident, you know what I'm saying? Okay, so. But he did it well. And whatever the machine, whatever the mechanics of him doing that well were I wasn't aware of at the time, I am now was probably a little bit of pep in his step. But this guy was so good at what he did, so kind. And as a 14 year old kid from the burbs who's coming in for his first job. You know, this guy didn't have to give me the time of day and probably could have real shitty attitude about working with a bunch of children, but that was the gig for the owner of the restaurant, was to hire a lot of young people.

[B]

Child labor.

[A]

Child labor, that's it. It's cheap. It's cheap. We work hard. We don't know the difference. You. Our parents think we're doing great, but really, it's just cheap child labor.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So anyway, this guy would make certain menu items for us if we asked for it. Like, you know, triple cheeseburger with a Big Mac sauce or, you know, a special breakfast item you like. You know, believe this or not. Bacon, Egg McMuffin, pickles. Best thing you've ever tasted. I swear to God. Okay, those pickles with bacon and. And a muffin, if you put a cheese piece on it. Oh, my God, Chris. So delicious. So he would make these things. We never got asked. I know. Now it's like, secret menu. It's like fun to go and try and see if you can ask for it and get them to make it. But this place is some of my formative memories. I got into my first fist fight there. I had sex. I got into my first.

[B]

Like, it's gotta be.

[A]

It's just like everything happened there now. It's changed physically. You know, they've renovated it and all this other stuff. And. And anyway, so we get out of the. The pool yesterday and Astrid's like, I know we don't want to do this, but what about the kid? It's like late at night. It's near the kids, bedtimes. Because we're. It's the. You know, there's a holiday.

[B]

Well, plus, it's dark at 6.

[A]

It is dark at 4. I know, it's crazy. I don't like it anymore.

[B]

I don't like it either. It's completely, like, pitch black, dark at 6 o'. Clock.

[A]

It's crazy.

[B]

I know. Jeff and we were talking about last night. We're like, I automatically just want to be like, midnight.

[A]

Yeah. I automatically want to.

[B]

Like, when Two months ago. I was. We were staying up late. I was eating dinner at 9. I was on European schedule.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Now I turn into my parents. The early dinner.

[A]

I'm with you. I feel like I'm retired. I'm officially retired during the winter. So she says, hey, so the kids don't fall asleep in the car. Get them a treat, Go get some food at the Mickey D's. And I'm like, God, every time we go to a Mickey D's, I mean, but everybody ends up sick, right? And I'm not saying that's because of Mickey D's. It's just. It's either a real coincidence. It's usually when we play in the playground when they pick up some disease out there or something like that. So I say, okay, against our better judgment. And I also know that, like, you know, sometimes Astor doesn't want to cook food a day. Or I don't want to cook food. Whatever. I cook food.

[B]

No. Yeah.

[A]

You don't cook. No, I microwave. That's what I do. But I can. But I will. And I have. So I go through the drive thru. Like all these memories come flooding back. You know, I'm telling the kids, I used to work here, yada, yada, yada. And then when we pull up to the window to pick up up our food, we're like sitting there for a long time. And there's a young suburban girl working the drive thru. Kind of clueless, right? And you can just tell this is like, she's a Brian. She's. Her dad made her go get a job and. Or she's working on her own volition or whatever to make a little bit of extra cash. Here she is, you know, serving food out the window, just like I was back then. And then I hear that fry machine beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep it. I'm like a Pavlovian dog. Something turns in my head and I'm like, get those fries. Get those fries. You got to get those fries. Those fries are going to burn. Get those fries. Put them in there and shake that salt while they're still hot. You better do that right? Not too much salt. Just a little bit of salt. Not too much. You know, I'm like. All of a sudden, I turn into like a McDonald's employee. I'm not saying that to her, but I'm thinking it to myself.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And one of my kids is like, what's that beeping? No. And I go, that's the fry machine. And if they don't pick those fries, they're going to burn and they're going to throw them away. And that's waste, and you don't want to waste. And I'm like, now I'm like working at McDonald's again. I swear to God. It was crazy how it happened. It came back because of that fry machine. I would hear that beeping noise in my Head at night.

[B]

Probably got a whis too of like the smell, you know? And that's definitely associated with memory.

[A]

Yes. I could smell those french fries in the pool place because they opened a vent to release some of that hot air. They have like this auto venture and that fry thing comes. And even one of my kids who was like, waiting on his turn to go in the pool, he was like, daddy, I smell french fries. Yeah, I smell McDonald's. And I was like, that's it. It's right next door. You know, it must be terrible for those people in there. To have McDonald's right next door is real temptation.

[B]

I know.

[A]

If you're so inclined. Yes. So I'm just like, now I'm Pavlovian dog. Hearing that beeping noise. And now I'm remembering that for years I could not get that sound out of my head. Head. And if I heard it, you would. I would be like, be working the front counter on a Saturday morning in the 90s, McDonald's is everything. It's in suburbia. And everybody and their mother goes to McDonald's on a Saturday in suburbia to go get their value meal or whatever lines out the door. Not even kidding. 4, 5, 6 cash registers in the front. Oh, it was insane. And it would. This would just go on for hours. It would start at 11am and it would go on for hours. And there was a breakfast rush at 8am Right, whatever. And if you heard that noise, the management, like, beat it into your head. If you didn't have a person specifically working the french fry area, it'd be like, get those fries. Don't let them burn. You know, that's waste. We can't waste. Waste is killing us. You know, food cost is going through the roof. And Larry, if Larry had to take the fries out of the basket, you were in trouble. He would give you a look. He'd be like, come on, guys, come on. I'm not. I'm not working fries and grill. I'm already making 170 burgers a minute now. You guys want me to do the french fries too? Let's go. Come on. On come, guys. When that fry beep. Go, go, go, go. And just keep. And put another basket in. Well, what a You born in a barn. What? Who's gonna make the french fries for you? What do you think? If there's a robot, they're gonna throw another basket in there? Well, now there is. Yeah. It's crazy, you know, but I just remember it was just like this instinct that I had when I was working there, that if. That I wanted to be the guy who made sure that it got taken care know, I was that guy. I was like a brute approval. I needed Larry's approval. I need a management approval. Everybody in some way, shape or form needs approval. That's how we live as human beings. We want. Whether it's internally, externally, whatever. And I'll tell you what, it's like. It was. I was a utility player, just like I was in every sport that I had. People would say, yeah, he's scrappy. That. That was like the word they used. I wasn't talented. I wasn't good. I was scrappy. So I. I would get it done. I would be there. I would help. You know, I.

[B]

You were the worker bee.

[A]

I was the worker bee. And I never minded that. I always thought that was a compliment. I was. I always felt like, yeah, if I could outwork the other people, or at least if I could be there to help in some way, then I would be useful. And that was my version of showing other people love. And that was the way that I felt accepted. Right. It's okay. I'm part of the team and I'm needed because I'm there when they need me. And the french fries will not burn. Damn it. So I say all this to say so that I would wrap it back into Christina. I wonder if Christina hears us in her head at night. I wonder.

[B]

Yes, I think our voices will be in her head for the rest.

[A]

We'll ask her in a couple of weeks when she gets here. Oh, yeah. I mean, I gotta imagine she's never gonna get my voice out of her head. Or at least not for a long time. Because God bless America. I mean, you don't listen to your voice on a microphone all the time. The first time you hear it, it can be rather unnerving. Right? It's like.

[B]

It is. Yeah.

[A]

It.

[B]

I still can't really listen to the shows.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

It's hard.

[A]

Yeah, it is. It's hard. It's hard because your voice sounds different in your head than it does when you hear it back.

[B]

Yeah. You're your own worst critic.

[A]

Yeah. And it sounds worse. It always does. It just sounds worse. You always think you're so much more slick and sexy than you actually are. You're a stuttering, like, you know, if. If I say the whole nine yards one more time on this podcast, I swear to God. Or if I say I swear to God. Yes, the whole nine yards, I swear to God. And, like, I cannot stand when I say Those things, and yet I say them 12 times an episode. 12. At least. @ least. Do me a favor. Text me every time you hear me say one of those three things and just tell me what a fucking asshole I am so I can start learning. All right, well, listen, you can't.

[B]

Think about it too much, because then that freaks you out.

[A]

Too. It does? Yeah. You.

[B]

Try. You have to be.

[A]

Natural. Well, then you could start stumbling around trying to find other words, and then you sound stupid. So I guess, you know, I guess I'll just take it like it is. The whole nine yards and.

[B]

All. It's been 650.

[A]

Episodes. It's been 650 episodes that. The whole nine yards. It's been all of.

[B]

It. I swear to.

[A]

God. Swear to God. All right, like, let's take a break and, like, we'll be back here. I'm going to Pavlovian Dog. You listen to Christina. Remind you to follow us on Instagram. We'll be.

[C]

Back. Since you clearly haven't had enough of me yet, I am back to yap in your ear and subsequently into your heart to tell you to follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at. @TCB podcast. You've heard these liners enough to know that we are desperate for followers. So help a girl out while you're at it. Maybe shoot us a text at 212-4333, TCB, or leave us a voicemail spilling your guts and asking for advice. You can also check out our website, tcbpodcast.com if you feel like perusing our catalog or if you're just bored. Now, let's listen to some sponsors because they keep me.

[A]

Paid. Are you into.

[B]

Yellowstone? I.

[A]

Am. Are you really? Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Is it.

[B]

Good? It is really.

[A]

Good. That Tyler Sheridan, he's.

[B]

On. Oh, my.

[A]

God.

[B]

Yeah. He's got his hands in.

[A]

Everything. Can't argue success. Oh.

[B]

Landman.

[A]

Landman. I can't wait to watch Land Man. Yeah, I'll take a little Billy Bob Thornton with a side of Swiss cheese. Johnny Hannah. Ham. John.

[B]

Ham. Demi.

[A]

Moore. Demi Moore, Yes. Who? You. We have on our list to watch that movie that you.

[B]

Watched. I watched.

[A]

It. The sauce? The.

[B]

Juice? No.

[A]

The. The.

[B]

Substance. The.

[A]

Substance. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So I'm. I'm excited about the Land Man. I think this should be a good show because Billy Bob Thorton, when applied correctly, it will cure all woes. I mean, if you don't, like, got that guy, then you just don't. You're not breathing he is such a good.

[B]

Actor. He really.

[A]

Is. And he plays fun to watch. He plays a saucy bad guy, good guy, whatever, like nobody's.

[B]

Business. I.

[A]

Know. He's like Bruce Willis badass all the time. Right. Bruce could go different directions, but Billy is just like. He just plays that one archetypal bad guy, good guy. I'm really introspective, super smart, Whip. And at 78 years old, the guy is still wearing a bunch of bracelets like me and like, you know, a floppy French hat and a feed up leather jacket. Yeah, him and Johnny Depp go to the same stylist. I swear to God they do.

[B]

Too. In the south of.

[A]

France. Have you seen the thing where. Where Billy Bob Thornton is in Canada on, like, the cbc, which is like the BBC but in Canada. He's in the CBC and he's with his band, the Billy Bob.

[B]

Thornton. I forgot about.

[A]

That. The Rattlers or.

[B]

Whatever. The.

[A]

Rattlers. What is Billy Bob Thornton's band song? I don't.

[B]

Have. What does it sound like? Yeah, I don't know. I can imagine the.

[A]

Sound. Billy Bob Thornton.

[B]

Rock. Maybe a little touch of. Of.

[A]

Western. Well, he doesn't really. Nearly 3,000 monthly listeners on Spotify, which is just about a thousand more than us. So there we go. Let's see here. Oh, okay, all right. That's a thing. It's with Government Mule, actually, that song. And it's most popular. Popular of his songs on Spotify. Anyway, okay, so there you go. You get a little flavor for Billy Bob Thornton and the Whatevers. So Billy Bob is in this studio doing an interview, and then I guess the band is going to play, and the presenter, the announcer, the host is asking him a question about, like, this latest movie that he has. He says, well, what do you think about doing this movie or that movie? And he goes, did I come in here to talk about my movie? And the guy is like, well, Bill, really, you're an actor. And I think it would be a disservice to the audience not to ask about. He goes, I told you not to talk about my.

[B]

Movie.

[A]

It's. I told you not to talk about my movie. I'm not an actor here today. I'm here with my band, and that's what I want to talk. I mean, he like went at the guy and the guy was doing his best to, like, navigate, but Billy is like kind of a. No, you know, he's. He's. He's not at a Diddy party, let's put it that way. This guy's not trying to win favor. Curry favor with anybody. No. Yeah, no he's not. He's not at a diddy party. And weird tie in with Billy Bob Thornton and us would be that Colonel Bruce Hampton was in the movie Sling Blade. He did a wonderful turn. Colonel Bruce did in Sling Blade where Billy Bob won his academy Award for playing the Sling Blade guy. Yeah, I can't remember the.

[B]

Name. The main.

[A]

Guy. Yeah, great movie. So can't wait to watch this. And then you know he's like.

[B]

I think you're gonna like.

[A]

It. Have you watched any of it? You've watched Landman? Yeah. You.

[B]

Have? Yeah, there's two out. What's maybe.

[A]

Three? What channel is it.

[B]

On?

[A]

Paramount. Paramount, Paramount plus I don't have Paramount plus. I'll find a way to watch.

[B]

It. I'll add you.

[A]

Okay? Yeah, please, I want to watch it. I can't wait to watch it. So Sheridan's on a tear right now and this Yellowstone has been a little bit. There's been some hiccups in the Yellowstone. They now they've done like multiple branch outs of Yellowstone with some varying degrees of success I think. But the original Yellowstone, the one that's got Kevin Costner in it has really taken hold of the entire country. Everyone's talking about Yellowstone. It's been talking about it for a long time. We've talked about it a few times here on the show. Never seen an episode. Don't. Don't really know what it's all about but okay. It's a show that everybody likes and everybody seems to think is great, that's fantastic. But I think it's just gotten a little too self important. If I'm only going by the trailers, teasers and commercials that they put on it's got a bit, little bit self important and let me explain why the other day I'm watching a television show on comes the commercial and it's for Yellowstones brand new season. Right. Right. I guess this is the last season. Is.

[B]

This. Yeah, yeah. Because well it's the second part of the last season and I don't know that it was going to be the last season but they made it.

[A]

The last season because Kevin Costner wouldn't. Yeah. For whatever reason there was like creative differences.

[B]

Probably. He wanted to go do. He wanted to go do his own western thing and he.

[A]

Did. He came out with did and it flopped and then it got picked up by Amazon and it became a.

[B]

Hit. Okay. I haven't delved into it.

[A]

Yet. Bet against Costner is the word yeah. Dances with.

[B]

Wolves.

[A]

Yeah. Which I know somebody people are going to call, they're going to text me and say it's the most obnoxiously boring movie ever. No, it's not. It is brilliant and beautiful and so well.

[B]

Done. It really.

[A]

Is. And I think while that may not be exactly historically accurate, I don't know what was going on at that time and neither do you. I think it's done with a bit of sensitivity, at least from a white man's perspective. A bit of sensitivity around, you know, what may have been happening out in the west back then. It is a beautiful movie and score is beautiful. I remember seeing that in the theater with my.

[B]

Mom. It was a big deal when it came.

[A]

Out. It's such a big deal. And he fought tooth and nail to get that movie made. When everyone said, you're crazy. A three and a half hour movie about, about the Wild west where nothing actually happens except for this guy just like makes friends with Indians. Are you kid me? It is so good. And Bodyguard, same thing. They, you know, he fought, I think that he fought to have Whitney Houston be in that role or something along those lines, I don't know. But he has a great movie. Yeah. Water World. Okay, that was a dump of a movie. All right, we can all agree the Water World was not a movie anybody wanted to see. It's not a movie I, I've seen on. Occasionally I see it then put on like TNT or something and I'm like, how is this movie even rerunning? Like it should just be buried forever. That movie is terrible. Terrible. But Kevin Costner has repeatedly had success after success after success by fighting for his creative vision. Now whether or not you agree with that creative vision or think that he's always been, you know, I don't know, had a daft touch with certain things, whatever, okay, we can all disagree about creativity, but at the end of the day, he is a monster success maker. That is for sure. He's like that James Cameron guy who decides he's gonna build a space rocket to the bottom of the ocean and everyone says you're a. And then he makes a billion dollars because he, you know, recreates the Titanic. Like the guy is just. Anyway, so. But I will have to say that it's getting. The hype is getting a little bit ridiculous because here is the commercial and I shit you not, I wrote it down. This is what it had. Okay? Ready? People, you know, Yellowstone people talking plot points, plot points. And nothing can prepare you for what, what comes next. Nothing can prepare me for what comes.

[B]

Next. Jeff was telling me. They was like, it's explosive. The next one's gonna be.

[A]

Explosive. Explosive. Oh, Jeff. Sal. Okay.

[B]

Jeff. I think he saw the same trailer or.

[A]

Something. Jeff got bought in. It's like a. It's like swooning music at a religious ceremony. Jeff got bought in. Damn it.

[B]

Jeff. He was laughing about it.

[A]

Too. What comes next? It's explosive. Says Jeff from inf. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. I mean, I've seen commercial movie trailers in the 80s that did a better job of hyping up. That is the most crazy I've ever heard. And I know that people are eating it. They're like, ah, what? I can't.

[B]

Wait. I.

[A]

Know. Yeah, they're jumping off buildings. Nothing can prepare me. Nothing can prepare you. There's war going on out.

[C]

There.

[A]

There. Democracy sliding away. Elon Musk is losing his mind. The whole world has gone bad, and nothing could prepare us for what comes next.

[B]

Really, honestly, it was pretty.

[A]

Explosive.

[B]

Okay. I didn't see.

[A]

It. Listen, you can't prepare for explosive diarrhea. You can certainly prepare for a television show. No matter what happens, it's.

[B]

Okay. You'll be.

[A]

Prepared. Yes, you'll be prepared. It's not coming out of the tv. You're not going over to Oklahoma, fall off an oil well, or whatever the fuck is going on in Yellowstone. It's not gonna happen. Everything's okay. You can prepare yourself. Make some popcorn, sit the fuck down, get a blanket, watch the show, have some fun. Let's stop being so goddamn dramatic about everything. What comes next? Even my kids were like, what's that? I'm like, don't. Don't stop. You're buying into it. It's like a soap opera. I swear to God it.

[B]

Is. But meanwhile, you're gonna watch it and be totally.

[A]

Addicted. Well, listen. Story altogether, okay, maybe I will be.

[B]

Addicted. And then you're. And then you're not going to be prepared for.

[A]

What? Okay, all right. Well, listen, if.

[B]

I. You think you're.

[A]

Prepared? I think I'm prepared. You think. You think you're prepared, but are you really? Check yourself. Because nothing can prepare you for one. Characters die, explosions happen. The whole world goes crazy. All of it. Oh, my God. But Kevin Costner die. I mean, I don't know. I don't want to do a spoiler. Okay. There you go. Spoiler.

[B]

Alert. Well, I think it's widely.

[A]

Known. Oh, it's. Well, I mean, of course.

[B]

Yeah. We.

[A]

Gotta. Gotta write them out somehow. Yeah, that's the ultimate you to it, you know what I'm saying? To a character. It's like when they just murder you up. Hey, so Bob, you know, thanks for your 10 year run on Friends, but you're dead. I.

[B]

Know. I was just reading an article too about the whole thing with that Taylor Sheridan. Kind of did do a little fuck you to him in the way in which he dies. So you'll have to watch to see, but nothing can prepare you for.

[A]

It. Dildo gets pegged to death by his wife or something. What's going on? What's the name of his character in the.

[B]

Show? John.

[A]

Dutton. John Dutton dies listening to the commercial break. Retrospective on.

[B]

Odyssey. That really would be.

[A]

Effective. Oh, that would. Is Yellowstone set in. In the current times, yes. Okay.

[B]

But. But.

[A]

Montana. Montana, Beautiful country out.

[B]

There.

[A]

Yeah. Dave Letterman owns like half of Montana. I think between Dave Letterman and Ted Turner.

[B]

Which. The other thing. Ted Turner. There's a Ted Turner.

[A]

Retrospective? Oh, I saw that.

[B]

Too. CNN, 8 Max, whatever it is. And it's amazing. Well, you should watch. Watch this. Jeff and I were blown away. We were like, oh, holy. I forgot that he did like.

[A]

All. He did all of that stuff. The Braves.

[B]

Starting. Starting cable channels. Pioneer there, pioneer here, this, that, the other doing like meeting with Fidel Castro, like doing all of this.

[A]

Stuff. Yes, he was insanely. He was a wild west west landman. He went out there and he claimed his stake and he did it through cable television and the Braves and he did it all from here in Atlanta. Cnn, he had all of those ideas and he fought to get it done. So again, we can all argue about Ted Turner's, you know, Picadillos, but at the end of the day, the reason why you have Netflix streaming in your home right now is Ted.

[B]

Turner. It really is. I mean, he was such a.

[A]

Pioneer. He demanded that it get to every front door. And he figured out a way to make it happen and get it subsidized. I mean, he just did so many things. The gu was brilliant. He was a navigator. He was one of the people who just pulls the strings in this world. And there's. We all know who they are. And you can do it for good and you can do it for bad. You do have to say something about Ted Turner. He built Atlanta number one. There's no Olympics, there's no cnn, there's no.

[B]

Industry. Yeah, that was the other thing he did. The Games. His. What was.

[A]

The. The Turner. Oh, the world. Yeah, World.

[B]

Something. The Goodwill.

[A]

Games. Goodwill Games, that's right. The Goodwill Will Games. Yeah. Which was a thing for a while. It wasn't the Olympics, but it was something, you know, it was like.

[B]

Art. Well, he wanted to build goodwill, peace throughout the world. And I mean, you gotta watch it. I highly recommend it. It's very.

[A]

Fascinating. Ted Turner says that he could ride a horse from Canada to Mexico without ever leaving his land. That's what he says. And I tend to believe it because he started gobbling up huge swaths of land when he started making money and he. That's what he claims. Did you know that, like, you can like, I don't know, if you want to like bring your cattle from one pasture to the other, you got.

[B]

To rent, you know, you got the Ted Turner.

[A]

Trail. The Ted Turner Trail. You gotta pay the guy to bring your cows over to the next pasture. It's.

[B]

Insane. Oh, yeah, you'll learn about that on, on.

[A]

Yellowstone. Oh, I can't, I can't wait to get invited to Dave Letterman's house. Dave Letterman. Let's talk about Dave for a second. Because Dave's next door to Ted. I wanna, I can't wait to get invited to Dave Letterman's.

[C]

House. Oh.

[A]

Yeah. That's like my dream. I don't care if I'm rich and famous. Well, I kind of care if I'm rich, not so much famous. But what I would like is like, if we're going to do a, if we're going to do like one thing. I was thinking about this. If I'm going to do like one thing, retrospective wise, right? Where they go, oh, you know, podcast pioneers and mediocre comedy. On Janus of the podcast universe, Brian and Chrissy, the Wild west of the. It really was for a while there. It still is. But if they're going to do like one thing. If you could, if you could pick it, like 60 Minutes, you know, CNN retrospective, you know, FOX News, Brett Baer interview. I don't know, you know, Tucker Carlson, Joe Rogan for four hours. You could do one thing. I, I'd want to do that Dave Letterman Netflix shit that he does. I think that's really.

[B]

Cool. I like that.

[A]

Song. My, my, my next guest needs no introduction. I.

[B]

Think. I think that's the same of it too.

[A]

Yeah. So he did that one with Miley Cyrus. We talked about this. That was, yeah, really cool. It.

[B]

Was. All of them are.

[A]

Great. Yeah. And you know, I think some people get invited to Dave's house and Dave says he's like, you come out to my house. I invite people, but when they get there, they're like, hey, can you got tennis? And he's like, tennis? I don't have tennis. Do you have a pool? Not really. What can we do? I don. Know, Go look at the pasture. I guess that must be what Dave likes. Dave, Johnny Carson. A lot of these guys who, who did this, I don't know. Late night does something weird to you. It's like you never want to talk to anybody ever again after you get done. They have to have a retrospective on Johnny Carson also, which I would like to watch too. Now. He was like a real split personality. Apparently he was an. A bad alcoholic. And when he got alky, like when he started drinking, he would get really nasty to his wives and probably.

[B]

Why I had sex so.

[A]

Many. Yeah, probably why he had so many. And then he just kind of walked off into the sunset. When Johnny Carson, you know, I think, did he die of Parkinson's or something like that? I feel like I want to say. Or emphysema. Emphysema. That's what it was. Parkinson's, emphysema. It's not the same thing. No, he died of emphysema because he. I think he was. I think he was a pretty big smoker like everybody was back in those days. Right. But Johnny Carson handed it off to Jay Leno and then just walked off into the sunset, never to be heard from again. It was really strange. Strange. And so I'm glad that Dave is still in touch with us in some way, shape or form. But, you know, I would like to go to Dave's house and just spend a weekend with Dave. So, Dave, if you're listening, I know I'm like not ever going to be on your radar, but if for some reason this gets back to you, somebody you know is listening to the show and you can pass this along to Dave, I would kindly take an invite to your house. I'll bring my own toilet paper just so you don't have to use any. I'll. I'll bring my own food and I won't bring my children or my dog. So as a matter of fact, if you just want to invite me, I'll be happy to come over. I'll make your bed for you, Dave. That's what I'll do. I'll make your bed for you. If you invite me to your house for the weekend, your bed will be made both days I stay there. How's that.

[B]

Chrissy? Yeah. Maybe you could get a job at his house some.

[A]

Way. Yeah, you wonder if there are people there Must Be people that work, though, right? You don't think Dave's making his own bed, do.

[B]

You? No, of course. You got.

[A]

Staff. What? Staff? Yeah, like a chef.

[B]

And. Oh.

[A]

Yeah. Security. You gotta have security even when you live out there. Yeah, all that gardens. He's probably got like. He's probably growing wheat out front or something. I don't know, I just imagine Dave to be the kind of guy's like, I don't want flowers. I want wheat. Give me.

[C]

Wheat.

[B]

Wheat. I thought you said.

[A]

Weed. No, no, but I, I, I. And the My Miley Cyrus interview, if I'm not mistaken, he talks about smoking weed with Miley. Or no, maybe it's Miley talking about smoking with her mom. Whatever. Anyway, I don't get it wrong because I love Dave and I don't want to ever piss him off. No, but he's not without controversy either. I think the point is we all make mistakes. Yeah. That's the moral of the.

[B]

Story. We're.

[A]

Human.

[B]

Sometimes. For a little while.

[A]

Longer. For a little while longer. Sometimes. I didn't get to the fry machine on time. Johnny Carson wasn't a perfect person. Kevin Costner's always not been historically sensitive. And Dave Letterman shouldn't have interns. I guess that's the normal of the story. There you go. He doesn't make his own bed. All right. Okay. All episodes from here on forth, it shall be known on YouTube.com the commercial break. Don't go to no man's Video Land. Come here to YouTube.com thecommercial break. Or you can go to tc, tcb podcast.com. all the audio, all the video right there from one location. You can also get your free TCB bumper sticker while supplies last. We're running low on a few of them. Yes, we have, like all the stickers and, you know, sometimes people ask for old.

[B]

Ones. I gave you my extras.

[A]

Right? You did give me the extras from Mempha, which is one we didn't. We didn't. Didn't give away, actually. So if you want a mempho TCB sticker, we have them available. Right? And ask kindly and maybe Astrid or whoever does it will send one to you. But be nice about it. Don't be like, I want seven stickers. Sign one for my husband. Do two of this. Can you kiss me? You know, it's like some people get a little silly about the requests. And it's like, we're. Honestly Pay for your. Can you over overnight it? Sure, why not? If you want a mempho sticker let us know and. And maybe we'll send them all to.

[B]

You. It was the one we gave away at.

[A]

Mempho. Yeah, we got a guitar. Guitar pick. Yes. We gave a lot of them away. I can almost guarantee none of them sit anywhere on anybody's shelf on their refrigerator. Nada. I promise you one person, only one person it meant knew who the commercial break was. And that was Jeff. That's it. TCB podcast on Tick Tock the commercial break at the commercial break on Instagram. TCB podcast on tick tock 212-4333 tcb 212-433-3822 questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas? Write us. We'd love to talk to you. Okay, Chrissy. I guess that's all I can do for right.

[B]

Now. I think.

[A]

So. I'll tell you though, I love you and I love you best you you Best to you best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time Chrissy and I do say we will say and we must say goodbye.