The Commercial Break – "Pavlov's Bryan"

Release Date: December 4, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Main Theme:
A comedic, freewheeling look at nostalgia, holiday season frustrations, pop culture—especially the oddities of streaming, snacks, and legendary musicians—plus behind-the-scenes podcast banter, all with the signature unpolished, riffing TCB style.

Holiday Season Road Rage and the Tesla Truck Menace

Timestamps: 00:30 – 05:48

• Bryan kicks off ranting about holiday traffic, lamenting the “old ladies and old men” driving slowly and blaming the influx of cautious (or oblivious) drivers for his increased stress.
• Specific ire aimed at “soccer dads” who self-righteously drive below the limit, and especially Tesla Trucks:
  • Bryan: “Why are you driving a Tesla truck in the middle of north suburbs in Atlanta? ... Never ever has a tool been in the back of that truck and never will be.” (03:06)
• Bafflement at Tesla truck design, suggesting it looks like “Elon Musk had sex with a refrigerator.” (04:55)
• Krissy jokes Bryan just did a Festivus airing of grievances:
  • Krissy: “Is this a Festivus episode? Because you just aired your grievances.” (05:41)

Roundabouts, Traffic Annoyances, and European Driving Terrors

Timestamps: 06:09 – 11:42

• Bryan and Krissy debate cautious vs. aggressive drivers; Bryan despairs that slow drivers don’t realize they’re causing giant backups.
• Roundabouts: Europe vs. U.S., with Bryan describing his anxiety about driving the Arc de Triomphe circle:
  • Bryan: “For the seven hour drive ... all I could think about was that we were going to have ... our hotel was near the Arc, I was going to have to go on that roundabout.” (08:28)
• Rant about local drivers who can’t handle single-lane roundabouts—reserving special vitriol for locals, not out-of-state plates:
  • Bryan: “If you ... wait till the entire traffic circle is clear ... you are officially a dumbass.” (11:09)
• Admits to being less angry than in his youth, channeling simmering rage into the podcast instead of road rage incidents.

Music, SiriusXM, and the Crimes of "Gasms"

Timestamps: 12:15 – 18:03

• Bryan reveals his love/hate relationship with SiriusXM, but is horrified that Smokey Robinson released a new Christmas album with the song “Gasms.”
  • Bryan: “That album is so fucking disturbing, it’s almost criminal to play it on air. ... You give me gasms. Gasms. Gasms.” (16:11)
• Imagines a backup singer’s reaction:
  • Bryan [As a backup singer]: “You booked me on what? Gasms? You say orgasm? No, just gasms.” (15:29)
• Reminisces about his grandparents’ “hi-fi” and learning good musical taste, but questions who approved "Gasms":
  • “What in the good fuck were they thinking when they laid down Gasms? … Like, I don’t know. Hey, baby, you want me give you a gasm? No, I don’t.” (18:04)

SiriusXM Channels and the Dream of a TCB Retrospective

Timestamps: 20:08 – 26:54

• Bryan speculates on SiriusXM artist channel payouts (“$20,000 a week, maybe a million per year for Smokey Robinson”), and how channels boost fandom—especially Pearl Jam, Bruce Springsteen, etc.
• Bryan: “Now, we probably repeat lots of words and stories, but you could play The Commercial Break for a month and a half and not repeat one episode!” (22:21)
• Nostalgia about the Howard Stern Sirius documentary, and dreams of a future epic TCB “life story” series:
  • Bryan: “Wouldn’t it be amazing to put together a retrospective of our almost five full years of The Commercial Break?” (25:14)
  • Krissy suggests Christina (the producer) edit a life-story episode with only others talking about TCB.

Behind the Podcast Curtain: Christina in the Closet and TCB on Video

Timestamps: 26:54 – 29:16

• Christina complains, tongue-in-cheek:
  • Christina (liner): “I am currently trapped in the closet in the studio being forced to record liner after liner and I never get to leave ... help me by following us on Instagram!” (26:54)
• Push for YouTube/video expansion; self-deprecating about how video adds “a layer of obnoxiousness you just can’t afford to miss.” (28:04)
• Praises Christina for her work enduring hours of TCB audio: “She really does a great job, despite having to listen to us all the time.” (29:14)

Bryan’s McDonald’s Origin Story—and the Pavlov’s Dog Moment

Timestamps: 29:16 – 39:56

• At his childhood McDonald's (next to his kids' swim class), Bryan is flooded with nostalgia:
  • Sex on the roof, first fistfight, and lots of weed in the basement (“... I had sex on top of that McDonald’s … I was down in the basement. I was making movies. I was smoking pot. The owner was calling my dad ...” (30:29)
  • Reminisces about the “legend” Larry—no teeth, maybe homeless, but McDonald's grill master and kind mentor.
• Explains secret menu items staff would make; grill orders (“child labor is cheap”).
• “Formative” memories, from special menu hacks to the intensity of the breakfast rush.

Pavlov’s Bryan: How Fast Food Beeps Haunt His Brain

Timestamps: 37:05 – 41:04

• The sound of the fry machine is a Pavlovian trigger:
  • Bryan: "I hear that fry machine beep... I'm like a Pavlovian dog. Something turns in my head and I'm like—get those fries, get those fries!” (37:05)
• Krissy notes the evocative power of smell connecting memories.
• Bryan explains fry machine “trauma” — waking up to imaginary beeping; shamed if “Larry had to take the fries out … he would give you a look. ... Come on guys, I’m already making 170 burgers a minute, now you want me on fries too?” (37:51–38:33)
• Links people-pleasing “utility player” instincts to this job, and wonders if Christina is haunted by TCB audio as he was by fry beeps.

On Hearing Your Own Voice, Repetition, and Self-Critique

Timestamps: 40:33 – 42:12

• Both admit to discomfort hearing their own voices on recordings.
• Bryan calls out his overused catchphrases: “If I say 'the whole nine yards' one more time ... text me and tell me what a fucking asshole I am.” (41:04)
• Comic meta-moment: self-aware, embracing their own quirks and imperfections.

Yellowstone, Land Man, and TV Hype Satire

Timestamps: 43:10 – 48:03

• Riff on “Yellowstone” and spin-offs.
  • Krissy is a fan; Bryan skeptical but drawn in by hype—pokes fun at TV trailer hyperbole:
    • Bryan (quoting ad): “Nothing can prepare you for what comes next.” (50:56)
  • Jokes that even kids are brainwashed by promos.
  • Bryan: “Listen, you can’t prepare for explosive diarrhea. You can certainly prepare for a television show.” (52:13)
• Discussion spirals into Kevin Costner’s career (and Water World), praising his persistence, comparing him to James Cameron, and lampooning Hollywood's drama.

Ted Turner, Dave Letterman, and Legendary Oddballs

Timestamps: 54:28 – 61:05

• Revisit 80s/90s icons who helped shape “streaming” or TV:
  • Ted Turner: Founded CNN, bought Braves, started the Goodwill Games, bought enough land to “ride a horse from Canada to Mexico.”
  • Side-note: Turner documentary highly recommended by Krissy.
• Aspirational comedy: Bryan dreams of a Netflix-style Letterman interview in Montana:
  • Bryan: “If you invite me to your house for the weekend, your bed will be made both days I stay there. How’s that, Chrissy?” (60:10)
• Johnny Carson as the original enigmatic "ghost" celebrity, contrasting with Letterman’s continued media presence.

Closing & Calls to Action

Timestamps: 61:04 – End

• “Moral of the story” jokes: “We all make mistakes—sometimes I didn’t get to the fry machine on time, Johnny Carson wasn’t perfect, Kevin Costner’s not always historically sensitive, and Dave Letterman shouldn’t have interns...” (61:03)
• Plug for TCB social media, requests for sticker requests (with a plea not to be greedy), and more self-deprecating TCB humor about their fame and reach.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Why are you driving a Tesla truck in the middle of north suburbs in Atlanta? ... You’re driving A refrigerator around my town. Stop it.” (Bryan, 03:06)
• “If you ... wait till the entire traffic circle is clear ... you are officially a dumbass. You gotta go.” (Bryan, 11:09)
• “That album is so fucking disturbing, it’s almost criminal to play it on air. ... You give me gasms. Gasms. Gasms.” (Bryan, 16:11)
• “Wouldn’t it be amazing to put together a retrospective of our almost five full years of The Commercial Break?” (Bryan, 25:14)
• “I hear that fry machine beep... I’m like a Pavlovian dog ... get those fries, get those fries!” (Bryan, 37:05)
• “Listen, you can’t prepare for explosive diarrhea. You can certainly prepare for a television show.” (Bryan, 52:13)
• “If you invite me [to Letterman’s house] for the weekend, your bed will be made both days I stay there. How’s that, Chrissy?” (Bryan, 60:10)

Tone and Style

• Irreverent, quick-witted, deeply self-aware with a running theme of “we’re just fine, not for everyone.”
• Banter-heavy, observational humor with playful self-deprecation and a nostalgia-soaked lens.
• Willingness to dunk on themselves, the podcast business, and all things pop culture.

For Listeners New and Old

“Pavlov’s Bryan” is an exemplar of The Commercial Break’s blend of nostalgic storytelling, off-the-cuff pop culture critique, dark humor, and the kind of conversational intimacy only decades-long friends can pull off. If you want to feel like you’re sitting in on a hilarious, meandering, slightly unhinged conversation about everything from Tesla design crimes to Smokey Robinson’s greatest musical sins—even as you’re learning far too much about McDonald’s backrooms—this episode delivers in full.