Polygamy Pipeline

Summary

The Commercial Break: "Polygamy Pipeline" (July 10, 2024)

Main Theme & Purpose

In this improv-comedy episode, hosts Bryan Green and Kristen Joy Oatley (Krissy) dissect the TLC reality show Seeking Sister Wives in their signature irreverent and chaotic style. Using clips from the show, they riff on the cast, the absurdities of televised polygamy, and the questionable motivations of the participants. The episode mixes genuine curiosity, biting satire, and lots of ridiculous tangents—making even the most outlandish pop culture seem like a friend’s inside joke.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bryan’s Braves Game Anecdote & Ballpark Traditions

• [00:47] Bryan shares a story about attending an Atlanta Braves game, focusing on odd in-stadium traditions (like broadcasters throwing bags of Cracker Jacks—now in air-filled bags for safety).
• The absence of classic ballpark hawkers (“get your hot dog here!”) dismays both hosts.

Notable Quote:
Bryan: “They throw Cracker Jacks out into the crowd like big bags or boxes... Now, wait, why can the broadcasters throw their bags of nuts out there, but my boy can’t throw his bags of nuts out there? What is going on?” (01:17)

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2. Atlanta Whole Foods Scandal

• [03:32] Krissy brings up a local news story where a woman was ejaculated on in the produce aisle.
• Bryan delivers some dark, comedic commentary about consent and public decency.

Notable Quote:
Bryan: "You just can't jizz on people. No, a come and go is not appropriate unless someone understands that you’re about to come. Consensual come and go—all about it. Been there, done that. But not in the Whole Foods produce aisle." (03:32)

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3. Podcast Shoutout: Late Learner

• [05:39] Bryan gives a heartfelt shoutout to friend Alison Hare’s podcast, Late Learner, highlighting its milestone fifth anniversary.
• Contrasts Alison’s show, focused on burnout recovery and life change, with TCB’s frenetic style.

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4. Live Show Updates

• [06:36] Listeners have responded to calls for live shows. They solicit more feedback for potential cities: New York, Chicago, Miami, plus several in the Southeast.
• Playfully riff on the logistics and the ever-changing nature of live show planning.

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5. Introduction to Seeking Sister Wives

• [07:54] Bryan pivots to the main segment: recapping and commenting on Seeking Sister Wives, a TLC reality show about polygamy.
• He describes the show’s structure and mockingly critiques the true motivations of its cast: “they want to have their cake and eat it too, literally...”

Notable Quote:
Bryan: "Some of the dipshits that are trying to get additional wives on this show under the guise of anything else except for ‘I just want additional ass’..." (07:54)

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6. Clip-by-Clip Breakdown & Running Commentary

A. The "Solar System" of Sex & Giant Beds

• [11:13] A cast member compares his sexual attentions to planets orbiting the sun.
• The hosts crack up about the metaphor and the logistics of the family’s custom bed.

Notable Quote:
Nick (clip): "Each of the planets revolves around the sun in its own orbit, at its own distance."
Bryan: "Sometimes I’m in Uranus and sometimes I’m in her anus." (11:27)

B. Nick’s Family: Three (Soon Four) Wives & a Stay-at-Home Dad

• [14:46] Introduction of Nick and his multiple wives—who work to support him.
• Nick’s “philosophy” is rooted in having watched Three’s Company without understanding it.
• Kids call all the wives “mom”; Bryan is simultaneously amused and alarmed.

Notable Quotes:
Bryan: "What a great fucking reason to get into polygamy. Three’s Company." (16:12)
Nick (clip): "...they’ve always seemed to prefer my time to be spent in the activities that I find most enriching."
Bryan: "Masturbating and playing Call of Duty." (23:26)

C. Ashley & Shane: The Polygamy Driven by a Bisexual Wife

• [28:24] New family: Ashley and Shane. Ashley is seeking another woman for the household (she's bisexual). Ashley is pregnant and looking for a "sex nanny."
• Their non-monogamous philosophy is presented more thoughtfully (“It’s unfair to expect any one person to fulfill 100% of your needs,” - Ashley, 29:09).
• Bryan admits their approach seems more logical, especially after learning Shane had a cancer scare and wants to ensure Ashley has support if he dies.

Notable Quote:
Bryan: “If I could pick someone to be with Astrid because I knew I was going to pass away... I’d pick Hoadley. That’s what I’d do. I’d say, Hoadley, you don’t have a working penis—jump in there, Jeff!” (31:18)

D. Garrick & Danielle: Polygamy by Divine (or Carnal) Inspiration

• [36:17] Garrick justifies polygamy with scripture—interpreting "filling with the Holy Ghost" as a euphemism for ejaculation.
• They recount drama with former partner Roberta (a Brazilian woman who backed out), the heartbreak, and Garrick’s quick move to pursue a new, younger South American woman.
• Bryan and Krissy are highly critical of Garrick, mocking his “research” and obvious self-serving logic.

Notable Quotes:
Garrick (clip): “When a man and a woman become one and his sperm goes in the woman, his DNA becomes part of her. It actually goes into her brain and she becomes one with him.” (41:09)
Bryan: “Scientifically, they have done the study. Garruk and Danielle have done the study... If I’d only known this in my early 20s I would have been a whole different man.” (41:28)
Bryan: “God literally talked to my dick one night and said, hey, what about some other pussy? And I don’t ignore God.” (38:20)

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7. Observations on TLC Reality TV

• The hosts poke fun at TLC’s “formula,” scripting cast interactions with outsiders for maximum shock value.
• They reflect on how participants always seem to explain their situation at the checkout or to random bystanders, fishing for reactions.

Notable Quote:
Bryan: “It’s almost like TLC requires them to explain to everybody what’s going on to get their reaction to the situation.” (25:34)

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8. Logistics, Child-rearing, and Group Dynamics

• The hosts parry between bemusement and critique over:
  • Shared motherhood (“it takes a village to raise a child”)
  • The real work done by the women—while the men muse about “thinking” as their main contribution
  • The jealousy and perpetual instability intrinsic to this TV style polygamy

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9. Tangents & Closing Banter

• Rapid side discussions about Better Call Saul, Baby Reindeer, and other pop culture.
• Bryan teases upcoming guest Rachel Feinstein and the show’s broader lineup.

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Timestamped Memorable Moments

• Bryan on Cracker Jacks & Ballpark Traditions: [01:17]
• The Whole Foods "Come and Go" Story: [03:32]
• Nick's "Solar System" Sex Philosophy: [11:13]
• Ashley’s Non-Monogamy Explainer: [29:09]
• Garrick’s “Holy Ghost” Justification: [38:20, 41:09]
• Bryan on TLC Formula: [25:34]
• Bryan’s Mixed Feelings About Shared Parenting: [20:32–21:00]
• Mocking Garrick’s Motivations: [38:20, 43:49, 44:13]

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Tone and Language

The language is irreverent, bawdy, and biting—true to TCB’s “chaotic, unpolished charm.” Bryan’s running commentary veers from deadpan to outrageous; Krissy cackles and deadpans in reply. They are both playful with listeners, repeat in-jokes, and aren’t shy about discussing sex, body parts, and relationship absurdities.

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Summary Takeaway

This episode is at its heart a gleeful roast of both reality TV polygamists and the reality TV making machinery, with just enough genuine curiosity and lived-in banter to keep it grounded. Whether dissecting the “thinking man’s” version of polyamory, lampooning scriptural justifications for lust, or reflecting on family structures, TCB manages to be inclusive, ridiculous, and slyly insightful all at once.

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For Further Listening Start Seeking Sister Wives from Season 1 to truly understand the madness.
Catch upcoming TCB episodes for more pop culture breakdowns, guest interviews, and further adventures in the cheesecake-factory chaos.
Follow TCB on Instagram (@thecommercialbreak) & TikTok (@TCBpodcast). Text/call: 212-4333TCB.
Visit: tcbpodcast.com

Transcript

[Brian Green]

It is exhausting being the baddest bitch alive. You can't always be standing on business. You need to rest as well. On this episode of the commercial break.

[Producer Christina]

It's me again, producer Christina here. And unfortunately, Brian and company are still out of commission, but we will be back in action tomorrow, mark my words. So they've left me with no choice but to air an episode that we were never supposed to air. Enjoy.

[Brian Green]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Guys and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the ketchup to my mustard, Kristen Joy Oatley. Best to you, Chris.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Get your hot dog. So I was telling the story about how I went to the Braves game a couple days ago, and I just quickly want to mention that in. As a part of some new weird tradition that the Atlanta Braves broadcasters are trying to throw out there, I guess. Listen, seventh inning stretch has been around for a long time. It's a tradition that in the. In the middle of the seventh inning, you sing Take me. Take me out to the. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Ballpark.

[Brian Green]

Ballpark. And it's been going on for a long time. But Harry Carey perfected it, the former sportscaster for the Chicago Cubs, where I grew up. And if you lived in that time when Harry Carey was around, no one will ever do it better. There's nothing like it. They try and replicate it, but there's only one original Harry carry, and he was the king of sausage, king of Chicago for a long time. But they have these two guys in the broadcast booth now at the Atlanta Braves stadium. And what they do is after they sing the song take me out to the ball. Ball game. Ballpark. They throw cracker Jacks out into the crowd like big bags or boxes of Cracker Jacks. They do bags now filled with air, like, you know, just a little bit of Cracker Jacks in there because apparently they were hucking. My brother told me they were hucking boxes and. And they hit a kid, I'm sure. Now, wait, why can the broadcasters throw their bags of nuts out there, but my boy can't throw his bags of nuts out there. What is going on?

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

I know he got stopped.

[Brian Green]

He got stopped a long time ago. And I didn't hear any hot dog guys at. At the ballpark. I didn't hear not one of them. Not one person.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

That's a bummer.

[Brian Green]

I know. It really is. You got. When you go to the ballpark, that's what you expect. Get your hot dog hair, cold beer, hot dog foot long, put a mustard on your don. $5. Yep, yep. Cold, but like water, but more mainly Bud Light. That's where I make my money. Am I doing this for myself? Yes.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

I loved that.

[Brian Green]

I know. I didn't hear one of them. I was listening for it. But I was also like kind of in a part of the ballpark where maybe that just doesn't happen. It was behind home plate. Kevin's got great tickets behind home plate, but upper level, first balcony.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Plus you were focused on the guy's porn.

[Brian Green]

I was focused on the softcore Japanese porn that somebody was watching. Season ticket holders were watching because the Braves won seven to nothing. And admittedly it got kind of boring after the third inning because it was like, whatever. Cubs aren't that good. I'm going to get right into it today because I got a special episode. It's Friday, I think, when you're listening to this. So God bless America. I have been talking. It's Friday or Wednesday. One of those two days when we release this episode.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Similar days.

[Brian Green]

Similar. Except one sucks and one doesn't suck. I've been talking about one's called Hump day, though. No, that's true. Hump day. I took on a whole new meeting at that Whole Foods, if you know what I mean. Yeah, I read that story. Chrissy was gave me a story from the local news where a lady went to Whole Foods. She bent over to check out some fresh produce and someone jizzed on her back. That is not that. I am in no way exaggerating. That's what happened. And he's been arrested. So follow up to that story. The guy has been arrested and charged with indecent exposure, sexual assault, all this other stuff. As he should be. The guy should go to a way to jail for a long time. You just can't jizz on people. No, A come and go. It's not appropriate unless someone understands that you're about to come. Consensual, come and go, all about it. Been there, done that. But not at the Whole Foods produce aisle. To an unsuspecting, you know, shopper. And she was. She's like a famous plastic surgeon here in Atlanta. So I feel really bad for her. That's got to be traumatic. Very traumatic. I can only imagine. Gross. So anyway, onward and upward with the gross and disgusting stories. Let's move on to other gross and disgusting stories. Two things. Three things I want to mention before we get into today's meat and potatoes. Number one, Our good friend Alison Hare, who may or may not be partly responsible for the commercial break actually being in your ears right now. Alison Hare is a dear friend of ours, has been for a long time a big supporter of the show. Even when we had no listeners, she. She just kept telling. Blowing smoke up our ass, basically telling us we were good when we knew we weren't and told us to keep going and pushed us and pushed us and pushed us. She is now on her fifth year of podcasting. She celebrates five years of podcasting. The podcast used to be anniversary. I know, used to be called Culture Changers, now called Late Learner. I think I've referred to it as Culture Changers in the past. It's called Late Learner. It is not anything like the commercial, but. And it is mainly focused on females who are burnt out, looking for something new in life, some purpose, some meaning, and they're burnt out on their. Their corporate jobs. And that's Allison's whole gig. She quit her corporate job a couple of years ago and decided just to follow life's passions. She's a constant pursuer of knowledge. She actually has facts and experts on her show.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Yes, she does.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's not like us. Yeah, it's not a hambone and hoe. No. No guessing going on there. So anyway, if you're so inclined, Late Learner, I just want to give her a shout out because she's been so good to us years. And I don't usually like shouting out other podcasts, but I will do it here because this is an exception. Okay, go listen to Late Learner. Do it right now. Late Learner, anywhere you find your podcasts. Number two, you have responded. We made a call about would you come to our shows in the Southeast if we had them, and you have responded. So. So thank you very. So thank you to all those who have been writing in and telling us that they would come see the shows in the Southeast. So I'm just going to open it up. If you're anywhere in the world, let us know. I'm kidding. So if you're in New York or Chicago, let us know. If you would go to the shows. New York, Chicago, Miami. If you're in those three cities and you would like to see a commercial break, live show, please let us know. We believe in late summer, early fall, we may announce some. We may announce a. We may. We're not writing in the subject to change. Yeah, everything's subject to change. We're not writing it. No book. So we're trying to actually get it off the ground. If you're in any of those three places or Charlotte, Nashville, Atlanta, Orlando, Tampa, or even, what do we say, Huntsville, Huntsville, Huntsville, let us know. And you would like to come see a commercial. If you're in those cities or around those cities and you would come see a commercial break, live show, let us know. Text us 212-4333 TCB. More information to follow. That's why we're asking. We're trying to secure those dates. The promoter is on my ass to get some, some and more information to him. So I know we're going to be in central Florida. I know we're probably going to be in Atlanta. I believe we'll be somewhere in the Carolinas. So if you're out there and you'd like to see our shows, please let us know. And number three, just a little segue into our meat and potatoes here. All season, all television season, I have been talking about this show, Seeking Sister Wives. You have Seeking Sister Wives. For those of you that don't know and cannot read, Sister Wives is exactly what it sounds like. It's a show about polygamy and TLC makes it bright and shiny and puts a little bits and drama in it because that's what they do. They're a television station. They have to make everything, you know, interesting to the viewer. So who knows if half this stuff is real or not. But what I am sure is real is some of the dipshits that are trying to get additional wives on this show under the guise of what anything else except for I just want additional ass, which is really what I think this is all about, that's my personal opinion, is that they want to have their cake and eat it too, literally all the time. And so rather than me trying to explain it for 20 minutes, what happened on last season or who these people are, what they are. I am going to take a gamble here and I'd like to review, like the introductory episode for this season, introduce you to the characters I've been talking about so you have a better idea of who they are and what they're all about. Let's.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

You want to dive.

[Brian Green]

So we usually don't do 40 minutes of a show, but I like to break this down. I think I'm doing this under fair use. If I'm not, my attorney will call me shortly or TLC will call shortly, one of the two. But I would like to break this down. We'll do a little running commentary as we go by. I'll give you my opinion you give me your thoughts. And so if you're watching, and I want to preface this also, because if you're watching this on the YouTube, we have changed the studio yet again. It used to be a nice.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Also, we have a new phone number. No, I'm kidding.

[Brian Green]

No. God, don't say that. People are gonna go crazy. We're still getting text messages on three phone numbers ago. How they're getting to me, I have no idea. I haven't paid a bill for that in years. But okay, I can still remember our first phone number. I'm not gonna say it, but I can still remember it. Probably because I said it three and a half million times over and over again. But if you're watching this on YouTube, the reason why we will be turned around is because we took the TV off the wall behind us at my wife's urging. She. That's her Lane. Strictly Lane. She does that. She's in charge of studio and design and creative. And she said it looked like. And I said, you're the one who told me to put it there. There you go.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

You're the one redecorating.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, a little redecorating here at the studio. YouTube.com the commercial break. And I don't know that I'll be able to play all of these clips video wise because I think then I do get into some trouble and territory. So just listen to it. Just. If you're here listening to the podcast, stay right here. It'll. It'll be clear to you what's going on. Okay, so without further ado, let's get started because I think this is going to take up the whole episode. Let's get started on Seeking Sister Wives. This is. We're nine episodes into this particular season, but let's do the first episode.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

I like it.

[Brian Green]

So you get an introduction, get you hooked, get you hooked, get an introduction.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

A little tasty teener for free. Just get you started.

[Brian Green]

Four tits instead of two. You know what I'm saying? Six vaginas instead of one. It feels so good. And by the way, can you do all the work and can you pay the bills? And I'll be here whacking off with a vagina, not yours. All right, let's take a listen straight from the beginning. Here we go. Oh, sorry. I was trolling on the Internet as you do. Well, I was trolling on DirecTV.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

As you do.

[Brian Green]

I was glued to TLC as I do.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

You do.

[Brian Green]

Okay. And I found. I didn't find this. It just showed up.

[Danielle]

And I like it would you be interested in.

[Brian Green]

Okay, these are the, like. This is the little intro that they do to every show.

[Jennifer]

Dating my husband.

[Nick]

As far as the amount of sexual attention that each of my wives receive. And you might not be close enough. It's kind of like in the solar system. Each of the planets revolves around the sun in its own orbit, at its own distance.

[Brian Green]

What in the does that mean exactly. What does that mean in reference to all of my wife's vaginas? Sometimes Pluto is in the third arc of Mars, and sometimes the Earth is revolving around the mood and my tongue is up thy third wife's ass. Just like the planets. Sometimes I'm in Uranus and sometimes I'm in her anus. This is the character.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

That bed is huge.

[Brian Green]

So they have a bed that is literally. Would fit three Magic Johnsons. I mean, it is huge.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

I know. Those have to be two pushed together.

[Brian Green]

No, it's not. They bought a specialty mattress. You'll hear about this, I think, later on the episode.

[Danielle]

Different bed in the house for that reason.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

This guy. Just to give you a thing just to talk about. There's four wives.

[Brian Green]

There's four wives, and they're. They're showing what is going to happen on this season. So I don't think you'll hear it in this, but instead of marrying the wives, this particular gentleman takes a different tact. The wives. The wives do all the work. His name is on the house. He does nothing but sit at home all day and think. That's literally what he does. He says it on camera. I'm in charge of thinking. That's what I'm in charge of. He's in charge of thinking.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Somebody in the group needs to be.

[Brian Green]

Instead of legally marrying any of these women, the women get legally married to.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

They're not thinking. So somebody needs to.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. I mean, I just don't. And these women seem pretty bright, and I don't get it. But listen, it's 2024 to put anything past anybody.

[Danielle]

Yeah, well, we can't be calling it that.

[Garrick]

You okay? Some people live this life.

[Brian Green]

This is Garrick. This is the guy I've been talking about for a long time.

[Garrick]

I'll just have sex freely, but that would be, like, wrong and evil. No, those aren't the reasons, Gu.

[Brian Green]

That's not the reason, my ass. Garrick, I was kind of interested in.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

Getting to know you.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

Every time we're dating a woman, I see a glow in him that I don't see when we're not.

[Brian Green]

Of course, you gotta Worry about jealousy.

[Ashley]

Hi, this is Shane.

[Producer Christina]

Hi.

[Brian Green]

If my wife was sitting next to me on a couch and said that, it would be a certain red flag that our relationship was over.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Every time my husband is dating another woman, he gets a certain glow. He gets a certain glow that he doesn't get with me.

[Ashley]

We're a plural family. We're super open and excited to meeting new people.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

Have you been to a therapist before?

[Brian Green]

Have not.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

That shows.

[Shane]

Holy crap. Red flags all over the place.

[Danielle]

I just don't know if, you know, the seriousness of the impact you had.

[Ashley]

That's not fair.

[Danielle]

You know, it's not fair at all.

[Brian Green]

What do you think about it? Yeah. See, there's. There's always going to be some drama. Let's. Let me do this. Let's get started on the episode. How's that? Because I fear that people who are just listening may not fully grasp what's going on here. So we're going to start.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Basically, they just were doing a montage.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Montage of coming up.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

This families.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Coming up this season.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

You know, plural families.

[Brian Green]

Okay. So now we're going to actually get started on the episode. We're starting with the family where the gentleman was talking about his sex life orbiting something. I don't know how that made any sense.

[Nick]

I'm Nick.

[Danielle]

I'm April. I'm Nick's first wife.

[Jennifer]

I'm Jennifer. I'm Nick's second wife.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

She looks 10.

[Brian Green]

She's 10. She's got braces on.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

She's young and looks young. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Let's take a guess at who gets the most sex out of all these women.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Okay. So there's three wives.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. This the third wife here? Yeah. There's three wives right now. They bring in a fourth later on in the season. But this girl who's about to talk right now, I think you can run a train through her head.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

They were bright.

[Brian Green]

This one. Not.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Not all.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. There's always one in the group, you know.

[Danielle]

I'm Danielle. I'm Nick's third wife.

[Brian Green]

We've been to this toy store before. Have we?

[Danielle]

No, I don't think so. See if they got something.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Oh, they've got kids.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. We've been to this dildo store before, haven't we? Nope.

[Danielle]

Proves of.

[Nick]

I'm interested to see what we might find.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we're gonna find Vera a toy.

[Nick]

And then I might pick something out for myself.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

They've got a baby.

[Brian Green]

Y' all are paying the bills. So what do I. Did you bring your credit cards?

[Nick]

I'M sure there's a lot of things that have played into my affinity for a plural lifestyle. I used to grow up watching Three's Company, so I would see the way that man lived, and it never occurred to me that those weren't actually his wives. I just saw this man with all these women that seemed to care about him, and I'm like, yeah, that's great. You know what I mean? That seems like.

[Brian Green]

What a great fucking reason to get into polygamy. Three's Company.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Because I didn't understand the show Three's Company.

[Brian Green]

If you ever watched an episode of Three's Company, Jack was gay. That was the whole fucking process. He pretended to be gay. So Mr. Schroeder or whatever his name, Mr. Roeder, I don't even remember his name was.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

I forgot.

[Brian Green]

The guy from Gilligan's Island. You know what I'm talking about?

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Barney, isn't it?

[Brian Green]

Barney.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Barney from giggling from Andy Griffith, wasn't it?

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, it was. You're right. That's right. You're. You're right about that.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Mr. Furley.

[Brian Green]

Mr. Furley. Oh, drag. I didn't know you had a g. Like to live.

[Nick]

I want some women to care about me too. So it just seemed like a great.

[Brian Green]

Way to live your life. I mean, these women are following this most unconventional way of life where they feed this guy, they house him, they pay his bills, they do everything for him. And his whole entire philosophy on polygamy comes from a television show from the 70s that never made any sense in the first fucking place.

[Danielle]

Benefit of having a sister wife is like having a best friend. As much as I love Nick, and I truly do, there's some things that they understand better because we are all women. And so I think that's big.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

And we're all fucking the same guy.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we all have the same dick in our ass. God. Some of us more than others, I might add. This is. Listen, if you're into polygamy, by the way, I want to make it clear, Chrissy, if I have said this a million times, more power to you. I have seen it not work a number of times in my own personal sphere of influence, my. My friends, my circle of friends. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't work. And I know there's a lot of people for which it probably does work. These might be some of those people, but I just find it. The reasoning behind it, a little thin on this show. But I think that's part of, like, the allure of the Shore 2 show. Too. Is that. It's always like one step away from being a total disaster. All right.

[Danielle]

Hello.

[Jennifer]

Hi there.

[Brian Green]

You looking for anything special today?

[Jennifer]

Yes, we are.

[Brian Green]

We're looking for a fourth wife.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

You have any wives?

[Brian Green]

You have any. You have any wives? Would you like to be a wife?

[Nick]

We got a birthday girl here.

[Danielle]

Her birthday's coming up, so we decided to come get her present.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she is a cute kid. They only have one kid. He's in charge of taking care of her. So I guess he's a stay at home dad. And that is a hard job. I didn't want to knock on that.

[Jennifer]

I was able to have a baby with Nick.

[Nick]

She's almost a year old.

[Jennifer]

Her name is Farah.

[Nick]

We are here live at the birth.

[Brian Green]

Center because the mother's. The mother's be.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

She's the one that looks 10.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she does look 10. She's. But she's not. She just has braces and she has a really young look. Obviously, I don't think that Nick is. Is sleeping with underage women. I don't. I want to make that clear too. I want to point out what's correct about this so I can point out what's incorrect about this or what I interpret to be incorrect about this. They're showing some home video from the birthing center where the mother to be is in a bathtub full of water.

[Danielle]

She has a little headband like you.

[Brian Green]

A say hello.

[Danielle]

So nice.

[Jennifer]

The fact that.

[Brian Green]

So nice. All the mommies agree.

[Jennifer]

We can.

[Brian Green]

This girl Vera is like, which one of you is my mommy? I know because I. By the way, Nick is black. All of his wives are white. The child is black. So I don't know which one of these. You know what I'm saying? Like he's. He. She certainly takes on the traits of her father.

[Jennifer]

They raise her from the beginning.

[Brian Green]

The physical attributes together, you know, I.

[Jennifer]

Think is really important.

[Danielle]

Vera calls me and Jennifer and Danielle all mom and it's the best thing to see.

[Brian Green]

Oh, that kid is cute as a button man.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Oh, so cute.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So hard to.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

The kid is really cute. But nothing like messing the kid.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Nothing like the kid up from the get go. Three mommies. That's right. Let's get the kid out of the way so we can have fun with adults.

[Jennifer]

And Danielle, be a mother to Vera. Just to know that I can fully rely on another, like, fully loving parent to take care of Vera. I couldn't ask for more.

[Brian Green]

Well, I do have to say there is some logic behind.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

There is logic to that.

[Brian Green]

You know, they say it takes a village to raise a child, and that is 100% true. And it used to be that you'd, like, call up your name. I mean, from what I hear, you'd call up your neighbors, they'd come over, they take care of the kid. Now, obviously that led to some problems with some, some people, but at the end of the day, it's really hard to raise a child on your own or even with like a conventional nuclear family. Like two people raising a child, you know? And I do have to say, if I had an extra adult in this house to take care of my kids.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Like I do right now with my in laws, it's like happy days because at least I get a five minute break at some point. And God bless my wife, by the way, I have to say this. Astrid said to me the other day, she goes, I listened to your episode about when I went to Miami. And she goes, you said none of that stuff to me directly. And I want you to know I loved it. I loved that you. That you need me so much. Yeah. That you got a taste. And that you need me so much. And that you're so grateful for everything. And I said, consider that your Mother's Day present. A love letter to you. It's a love letter to you, baby. I love everything you do. Okay, let's take a break and then we'll come back. We're just getting into it. Hi.

[Producer Christina]

No, you're not dreaming. And yes, this is a new promo. See, I made you wait and now look how happy you are. I know, I know you're smiling. Anyway, since we're here, why don't you just hop on over to Instagram and give us a follow at the commercial break? Seriously, Please. It's getting hard for me to listen to Brian and Chrissy beg. So just follow us on Instagram again, that's hecommercial break. You can also follow us on TikTok@TCB podcast. And of course, you know where to go for all things tcb. That is tcbpodcast.com baby. And of course you can always text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at 212-4333, TCB. Yep, that phone number is no longer new, but it is still around. And that's a win. 212-4333, TCV. Love you, bye.

[Brian Green]

All right, right back into it with Seeking Sister Wives. Look at these. Oh, yeah.

[Nick]

We got math games. We got math games. That's what I was looking for.

[Danielle]

Or this picture Matching.

[Nick]

Oh, that might be fun.

[Brian Green]

You can match all your mommies together.

[Nick]

Something to kind of stimulate the intellect a little bit, you know, My wives work outside the home, so I'm a stay at home dad. Give it a try.

[Brian Green]

Oh my God. Chrissy, this chaps my height. I'm sorry. It does.

[Nick]

She is not letting this thing go. Okay, all right. As far as me not having a job, they've always seemed to prefer my time to be spent in the activities that I find most enriching.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

How nice.

[Brian Green]

Masturbating and playing Call of Duty. Sing. Say yeah, baby, sing.

[Nick]

We have enough people dedicated towards earning wages. We need more people here thinking and feeling and trying to really understand what this life experience is about.

[Brian Green]

Oh my God.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

Oh my God. Philosopher Chrissy, I know we don't make any money on this show, but when we do, you don't mind if I just take a couple months, maybe a year or two off, you do the show and let me think about the show and make sure that I understand what's going on here at this show.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Sounds fair.

[Brian Green]

I love you. I love you for it. You're my new sister wife.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

We might have to get another roast in here though. Sister host.

[Brian Green]

Ah, Astrid, you and Astrid take over and Jeff and I are going to sit around and mansplain to each other how life's supposed to work.

[Nick]

Maybe you should go to mommy for a second. Daddy wants to look at some more toys.

[Danielle]

And of course now Danielle has moved in with us as well.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Of course, of course.

[Brian Green]

Danielle's the one that I don't think is like the brightest of the bunch, but that's just my personal observation. Hey.

[Ashley]

Hi, baby.

[Nick]

It's nice to see you.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

He's picking her up from work, I guess.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's picking her up from her 12 hour shift at the factory so he could drive around her car and get back to her house so he can have sex with her vagina.

[Nick]

Dating Danielle for about eight months. And so we decided to make it official. The four of us were married.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

I know the world will say what.

[Brian Green]

Is the four of us were married, but that's not really true.

[Danielle]

We had a very intimate wedding local in Denver and we had all of our clothing. Close family there. I wouldn't change anything.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

All our close family there. Really? Other people are on board.

[Brian Green]

No, when they say that they mean friends who also friends who are. Who are sticking around because they find your situation entertaining.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Right?

[Garrick]

Yes.

[Danielle]

Chavera decided on this.

[Brian Green]

I love how every. By the way, in all of these TLC shows I've noticed something. When they go out in the world and they interact with somebody, let's say it's seven little Johnstons, right? Or seeking sister wise or 90 day fiance, they have to tell the cashier or the attendant or whoever exactly what they're doing. It's almost like TLC requires them to explain to everybody what's going on to get their reaction to the situation. Watch. I guarantee they're going to do it all together.

[Danielle]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Jennifer]

Some people, if we're out in public, they'll look at us and try to figure it out and rationalize the association, the association between us. And so, yeah, we have no.

[Danielle]

No problem.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

And then that's just when I kiss every one of them.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. That's when I stick my tongue down each of their throats one by one.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Show, show the people.

[Brian Green]

And I said, hey, baby, you want to be my Uranus tonight? You're in my orbit.

[Jennifer]

We're all together.

[Nick]

It's a lot of fun for having so many moms.

[Brian Green]

We don't usually have families in different structures. It seems like we usually have, like, the nuclear family. I come from a big family, too.

[Jennifer]

Oh, do you?

[Producer Christina]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I've got two siblings.

[Nick]

I was gonna say you have three moms.

[Brian Green]

Also.

[Nick]

Adding more wives.

[Brian Green]

No, I don't. I'm just trying to get TV time.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Just trying to get out.

[Brian Green]

I'm the next Kurt Cobain.

[Nick]

It's part of our family vision.

[Danielle]

I ideally would want at least four, maybe five different sister wives.

[Brian Green]

There's one in the group who clearly does not like this, and that is the newest one. She has no idea what's coming her way because Nick and the other two are just perfectly fine keeping the wives rolling in. And I think Danielle, the one. The one that maybe isn't so bright, just joined the. This family situation has. She's so not into this idea.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

No, that's time away from her.

[Brian Green]

Of course, she came in and there were already two wives there, but now she doesn't want any additional wives. To be fair to the other people, like, this is what you signed up.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Y.

[Danielle]

Potentially bringing someone into the household, it's kind of hard to picture, like, someone being with us that is compatible, like, how we are with each other. And I'm so used to dating monogamous that honestly, like, when you look at it, it's just such a big adjustment.

[Brian Green]

You think, you think. You think bringing a whole nother spouse into an already crowded bed is going to be a big adjustment? Danielle, I see that light bulb going off right above your head.

[Danielle]

I just don't know if I'm ready for that.

[Brian Green]

So.

[Danielle]

Something I'm kind of working on.

[Brian Green]

Nick's like, damn, no more new. Ain't gonna get no new.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Oh, this is a new family.

[Brian Green]

New family. The Sherwood family. Ashley and Shane.

[Producer Christina]

Shane.

[Ashley]

What are you going to do with Daddy tonight?

[Shane]

Probably watch movies and then have some dinner.

[Brian Green]

Now, I should say this about this family. It is the wife that is driving the relation. The new relationship here. She wants a sister wife because she considers herself bisexual.

[Ashley]

Le Knight.

[Brian Green]

I'm Shane.

[Ashley]

I'm Ashley.

[Brian Green]

And we're the Sherwoods.

[Ashley]

We've been together for almost three years, married for two years, and talking about adding another partner into our family for, I would say, maybe two and a half years.

[Shane]

I think that we.

[Brian Green]

Okay, that's a long time to be looking for a new wife.

[Shane]

We'll think that we're just not monogamous people.

[Ashley]

I feel strongly that it's unfair to expect any one person to fulfill 100% of your needs. If it doesn't work for you, that's fine. If it's not what you want to do, that's fine. If you're a monogamous person, which the significant majority of our world is, that's fine. But for some people, it's just not the right fit.

[Brian Green]

I agree with you a thousand percent. Couldn't agree with you more. And by the way, you should never expect another human being to. To have 100 of your needs covered. That's a ridiculous premise in the first place.

[Shane]

I'm excited. We're going to get to spend some time together, bud.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

They've got a baby.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's cute as a button, too.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

I know. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Geez, all these kids. I wish I had got my dick clipped. Maybe I could have a 14th child.

[Shane]

Ashley and I met through competitive axe throwing, and we actually got to know each other through social media, so we made kind of a plan to meet up at an axe throwing tournament. What were the first words that I told you when I saw you in person?

[Ashley]

You're so much hotter in real life than she was.

[Shane]

She was just this angel. Hey, how's it going then?

[Ashley]

It's hot in here, but I'm good.

[Shane]

Oh, you look happy.

[Ashley]

Thanks.

[Shane]

Are you excited?

[Ashley]

Yeah, I'm excited.

[Brian Green]

She's going on a date.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Oh, she's going on a date?

[Brian Green]

Yes, she's going on a date.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

And by herself.

[Brian Green]

By herself. Because she's driving this. Now. I'll share a little bit about this season with. With you, about these two About Shane. Shane apparently had a serious cancer scare. He had cancer, he got treatment. And so there is like this one. I'm almost like, I'm almost on board with this one. And I'll tell you why. She's the one driving this. She says, I would like to go explore my sexuality and my need for female companionship. And Shane is supportive of that, though he still, you know, I don't know. You'd have to watch a whole season to understand Shane. But middle of the season, you realize or you hear that Shane actually had this cancer scare. And part of the reason why they're looking for someone else in the relationship is to make sure that she has a partner if he should pass away.

[Shane]

Something we. We definitely are fast trackers. We kind of really officially started dating.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

And logically that does make sense.

[Brian Green]

I. Yeah, I mean, listen, if I could pick someone to be with Astrid because I knew I was going to pass away, that, you know. Yeah, I pick somebody without a working penis. But, you know, besides that, I'd like to find somebody. I'd pick. I'd pick Hoadley. That's what I do do. I'd say, Hoadly, you don't have a working penis. Jump in there, Jeff.

[Shane]

Hands off period in September of 21, pregnant in October of 21. And here we are, you know, we have a wonderful, you know, one year old son. We have another on the way.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

They look like they're doing well for themselves. They've got a big, huge house. They're out on the lake on their boat.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she's pregnant with a second child.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Oh.

[Ashley]

I am currently six months pregnant. Oh, Dating while you're pregnant is like. You're doing what?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that seems way out. Like, Jesus.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Whoa.

[Brian Green]

It was like two months when Astrid couldn't even get out of bed without throwing up twice. I can't imagine being six months pregnant and dating, but I also can't imagine being six months pregnant. So there you go.

[Ashley]

Very taboo. I'm hoping for someone who can come into our family as another mom for the boys. As another.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

A helper.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, a helper. I'm looking for a nanny to have sex with. Yes, me too. I've been all wrong about this the whole time. I'm looking for a sex nanny. Do you have one of those available?

[Ashley]

Just someone to kind of grow our love that we have for our family and for each other.

[Shane]

Somebody who's.

[Brian Green]

How do you grow your love for each.

[Shane]

Okay, driven. Doesn't have to be with a career, but just have some kind of Goals.

[Ashley]

I would say the only hard line or rule is that she's accepting of our children. She has. Has to be open to having Shane's biological child. That's an important thing for us to kind of.

[Brian Green]

Wow.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

I mean, you're throwing a lot of things on somebody.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. At this point, I know.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

She. They already have one kid. She's pregnant with the second one, and they want the new person to have sex with Shane.

[Brian Green]

To have another child, but also her. Yeah, her and him and another child. Right. And by the way, if you get to know this storyline a little bit, there is no middle ground with these people. You're either, like, dating them immediately, like steady boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, or you're not at all involved in their lives. They want a girlfriend right away.

[Ashley]

Thing that's a piece of all of us.

[Brian Green]

I would think there's an easing in period for most people.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Right?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Like, hey, let's. Let's see what happens. I'm saying you gotta kind of wait.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Before the next baby comes.

[Brian Green]

Well, God bless America. Yeah, I know. I know.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

All right.

[Ashley]

What am I wearing?

[Shane]

I mean, definitely something cute.

[Ashley]

So our process right now is a.

[Brian Green]

Great job being a man. Sounds like me.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

I know, honey.

[Brian Green]

What should I wear? Do you like this outfit? Yes. Do you like this outfit? Yes. Which one's better? Which one do you think is better? I want your honest opinion. Well, the one you're wearing looks better. Are you sure that she changes into the other outfit?

[Ashley]

Is that I get to know the woman before I introduce her to Shane? I don't want to say, like, I prioritize my relationship with her over Shane's, but I don't want to waste Shane's time. So I've been seeing Grace at this point for about a month.

[Shane]

How about that one black top with the flowers?

[Ashley]

Oh, Grace is a funny story. Grace.

[Brian Green]

It's always a funny story.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

It is.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. This whole podcast is a funny story.

[Ashley]

For Brian, a hair and makeup artist that I selected for our wedding. And after the wedding that was that, never talked to or heard from her again until we matched on a dating app like, a month or two ago.

[Shane]

Yeah, I think that'll make everything look good.

[Brian Green]

And how do you do that on the dating app? Looking for extra wife?

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Maybe there's an app for that.

[Brian Green]

Oh, there's got to be an app. You know, there's an app for that.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But apparently, what I've heard and what I've read, because now I've done a lot of research on polygamy and like, you Know how you. What I've heard is it's mainly men that are on the polygamy dating apps for the apps for polygamy. It's mainly men.

[Ashley]

Sounds good.

[Brian Green]

Perfect.

[Shane]

Going by what Ashley's telling me about Grace, I mean, I can obviously see that they're having these deep, really intellectual conversations, really, about how this dynamic would work and kind of kids in the future.

[Brian Green]

So I'm actually.

[Shane]

I'm really excited to meet her.

[Jennifer]

Oh, okay.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

So they were dating for, like, a month.

[Brian Green]

They've been dating for a month, and Shane hasn't met.

[Ashley]

To exploring things. Bringing in another partner is definitely something that will make Shane happy. I mean, maybe the right person will come along tomorrow. Maybe the right person is Grace.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Remember when you did our makeup for the wedding?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Remember when you did makeup for the wedding? Can you do my vagina for my husband?

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Because you now be our person that wants to have another baby, have sex with both of us, and help with the other kids.

[Brian Green]

And by the way, you have to.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Move in tomorrow and do my makeup.

[Brian Green]

So tell your parents. All right, let's meet Garrick.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Okay.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

Garrick.

[Brian Green]

Having many of vaginas. Here comes Garrick with his creepy look. Going down to South America to steal young women. It's not technically kidnapping if they agree.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

The producer is saying, okay, you guys ready to do this this again again?

[Brian Green]

Because they have been on the show for now three seasons.

[Ashley]

This again.

[Garrick]

Time to get going.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

Okay, we're the Mayorfield, and we have been practicing polygamy now for five years.

[Brian Green]

Grab a B. I would say practicing polygamy is a little bit of a stretch. They had. They've had multiple young girlfriends. All of South America descent.

[Garrick]

Yeah. Out to the garage, huh?

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

I think polygamy is something different to everybody.

[Garrick]

When you ask them, having sisters and, you know, best friends around and, you know, it doesn't happen in a monogamous relationship.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

You could have a best friend.

[Brian Green]

No, but see, Garrick, you could have a sister. Yeah, that's right. Garrick cannot be the creepy nut job that he is unless he papers this all. He talks for her. He's the quieter one, but he talks for her. He gives her all her opinions. She is clearly puppeting everything that Garrick says. And listen, I relationship. I understand that these relationships can happen to anybody. Anybody can kind of be in that relationship where someone is controlling, manipulating, whatever, but I just find her to be very smart. But she doesn't seem to get it that Garrick is just in this for the pooty Tang. That's it. That's all he cares about. Young, hot, South American women.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

To begin with. We really did not have any idea that this is the lifestyle we would be living. God had plans for us.

[Garrick]

Yeah. I think we just thought it was wrong and evil because that's how we were raised.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

At first.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, at first. Until I got a boner for other chicks.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

And then we found a part of the religion that said it was okay.

[Brian Green]

God literally talked to my dick one night and said, hey, what about some other pussy? And I don't ignore God.

[Garrick]

But we searched the scriptures for years and finally came to a conclusion. We're like, we can't say it's wrong. It's a reflection of Jesus in his church. Because a lot of the scriptures, the terms where it says he fills you with the holy Ghost, it's actually a sexual term.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Wow, Derek.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God, I hate this guy with a passion. I just do. He just gets on my nerves. Fills you with the holy Ghost. Fills you with his holy host. Jizzes right on your back. He's a come and go. This guy's a come and go waiting to happen. I just know it. I just know it. That is insane. We search the scriptures for years. For years. By the way, the Bible's like a thousand two hundred pages long. In some versions, you could search the scriptures and find anything that suits you. And it's written in not even old English, like old Arabic. It's like you can't decipher some of that from shinola. You really are just interpreting a bunch of words, Literally hundreds of thousands of words. And you can twist it any way that you want to. Go ahead. Search the scriptures for a common goal at Whole Foods. And you could probably fit a scripture that that gets it right. Hold on. Let's take a break, and we'll be back with Garrick, because I want you to focus in on this story. I think this is the best one of all of them. Hold on. We'll be back.

[Producer Christina]

What's up, haters? Now let's get down to business. If you've got something to say, say it to our faces. And by that I mean text us or call us at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can and should also find us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTokCBpodcast. Unless you wanna fight me, in which case, don't. And if you're just desperate to see our shining faces in person, keep your ears Peeled for ticketing information about TCB Live.

[Brian Green]

Live.

[Producer Christina]

As always, don't forget that you can find everything you could possibly need to find on our beautiful website, tcbpodcast.com.

[Brian Green]

Bye. All right, we're Rebecca reviewing Seeking Sister Wives, and we're currently listening to my favorite couple of this entire series, which is Garrick and Danielle.

[Garrick]

It actually means, like, sperm going into, like, intimacy that way.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so if we rewind a little bit, we'll hear that Garak believes that the term filling you with the Holy Ghost means jizzing inside of you. Oh, my God. That is crazy.

[Garrick]

Even scientifically, we found that, you know, when a man and a woman become one and his sperm goes in the woman, that his DNA becomes part of her. It actually goes into her brain and she becomes one with him.

[Brian Green]

What is that? Good Fuck, Chrissy.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Scientifically.

[Brian Green]

Scientifically, they have done the study. Garruk and Danielle have done the study. And when Garak fills her womb with sperm, then instantaneously her brain becomes Garruk. They are one together. Man, if I'd only known this in my early 20s, I would have been a whole different man. But yet look at. Look at her face. She is like. I don't even believe this. Yeah, we did not scientifically do any studies.

[Garrick]

Woman can't transfer her DNA back to the man.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. Look at her. She's rolling her eyes.

[Garrick]

So it, like, showed the proof of how Christ is with his church. Like, he transfers to us, we don't transfer to him.

[Brian Green]

What does that even mean? I don't even know.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Yeah, he doesn't.

[Brian Green]

That's a long way of saying, I want young, hot American tail. Yes.

[Garrick]

No. So I.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

South America.

[Brian Green]

South American tail. Well, American tail, too. He'll take it any way he can get it, quite frankly. But the South American girls are all over the dating apps. It's.

[Garrick]

It's a beautiful thing when it's done right.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

We started seeking in February of 2018, and then in October of that year, we met Roberta.

[Garrick]

We really connected with Roberta. To be.

[Brian Green]

Roberta was on. On the last two seasons, by the way, and she backed out of the whole relationship.

[Garrick]

Just talking online once we knew that.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

She was supposed to be a part of our family, Garrick and I got divorced to bring Roberta to the US With a fiance visa.

[Brian Green]

Do you believe that your marriage is irretrievably broken here? They're showing them in court. Yes, which they actually showed in the first. In the second season of Seeking Sister Wives, they showed how Garrick suggested. Suggested that they get a Divorce. So he could proceed with the fiance visa to marry this woman Roberta, and bring her here to the United States. They're in. They're showing the video from the divorce court where Danielle totally bawling. She's very upset about this. As she should be.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

Yes, it was hard for me, like, because we went through a lot of struggles and considered actually, like, truly divorcing a few times throughout our marriage. So, like, I think that, wow, this is not.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

It's like, so instead, let's bring a new person in.

[Garrick]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You know, that's like, people who think a baby's gonna fix all their problems, it won't. It's just gonna tie you two together for the next 18 years. You hate each other now you're gonna hate each other. Then it doesn't really matter.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

You know, I had to kind of separate those feelings and emotions and realize, yeah, we're not in that same spot.

[Garrick]

We were, I think, looking back at some things, you know, there was definitely some red flags that came up.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

Roberta said to me one time that she hoped it was just me and her as sister wives, just the two of us, that there wouldn't be anybody else. And when we tried dating someone else, Roberta was not happy about that.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Oh, God.

[Brian Green]

When does it stop? When does it stop?

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

They couldn't even focus in on Roberta.

[Brian Green]

No, they couldn't. They could not focus long enough to get it to the finish line with Roberta before they started dating other people. Cause God told Garrick to date other people. Fill her with the Holy Ghost.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

They didn't have to get intimate, Have a date.

[Brian Green]

No.

[Garrick]

There was no intimacy.

[Brian Green]

I. No kisses, friends. Yeah, see, she agrees you shouldn't kiss friends.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

I think that made me more apprehensive, like, if she really wanted it or not. Other family members were skeptical, maybe, but that's one of the things that we've really prayed about.

[Brian Green]

Roberta talked about getting a place, and now they're showing her brother, Danielle's brother.

[Garrick]

When she's planning on coming or. No. She wants to get her mom to her diabetes appointment, blood pressure appointment, before she leaves.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

Like, is she really committed to coming out here?

[Garrick]

We were very concerned. So I was like, we have to make this happen. We need Roberta to, you know, make a decision, move forward. She's been prolonging coming here, and she's going to lose her visa.

[Brian Green]

Please don't let anything stop you from getting out of the plane.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Danielle was really into it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I think Danielle and her really had a bond. If you watch the show, like, Danielle and her Were really bonded together. They did seem like best friends. Like sister wives, if that. That. Yeah, you know, if you can call it that. Like sister wives. And in a lot of ways, they did a lot more communicating than her and Garrick did. And it seemed like the only thing Garrick wanted was to get a ring on her finger so he could have sex with her alone and then bring her here to the United States. That's why he divorced Danielle.

[Garrick]

Then she broke her heart.

[Brian Green]

They're showing home video of Danielle absolutely going bananas.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Because that's the moments you want to remember.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Yeah. That's what you want. To give TLC for distribution to millions of people worldwide. I understand. She said it was my sister. Oh, my God. Jeez. Overdramatic much?

[Garrick]

Roberto didn't come to America. She just didn't have any intention of coming.

[Brian Green]

No, you scared her off by continuing to sleep with additional women after she thought. Thought that you had set up a situation that was safe and welcoming for her and this very odd setup. And then you start fucking additional women and lie about it to her. And guess what she said, you know what? I'm not into it. I'm sorry. It's just. That's not what I'm bargaining for. It's Garrick's fault.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

We have not spoken to Roberta since.

[Garrick]

I don't think Roberto will come back in our lives. I mean, it would be like somebody raising from the dad.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I forgot my dad made this.

[Brian Green]

Now they're looking through boxes and they found a pillow, one of those pillows you put the pictures on. They have a picture of them in Roberta.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

She says, I forgot my dad made this.

[Brian Green]

My dad. Your dad's into it? I don't think so.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

That's what she said.

[Brian Green]

I know, but the dad is like. He's accepting of whatever. He's kind of like us. He's like, ah, whatever, you know, as long as you guys are happy.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

He made a pillow?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Made a pillow with their pictures on it so that they could, you know, so Garrett could dry hump. It.

[Garrick]

Was sweet of him. He really loved Roberta.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

Yeah, he was gonna give it to her when she came, wasn't he? When she got here.

[Garrick]

Gotta move on.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

Nope.

[Garrick]

It was hard after she didn't come. I was depressed. I went through it. But I think my pastor really encouraged me. He just flat out said, gary, quit crying over spilt milk. Gotta move on.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

The pastor.

[Brian Green]

The pastor said, hey, Garrett, you gotta find more. I mean, come on, man. There's lots of out there. Don't worry about Roberta. Let's get on with the job. She.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

Oh, my gosh. That was all the stuff we got.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

For when we were gonna pick her.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

Up at the airport.

[Garrick]

Airport. The Brazilian flags and then welcome to America flags went well. It's nice to get rid of all this.

[Brian Green]

By the way, that's not a welcome to America flag. It's just an American flag.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

It is.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I don't think there's such thing as a welcome to America flag. Yeah.

[Garrick]

Move forward.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

I think we were both kind of on different pages a little bit at first. Garrick wanted to just dive back into dating right away, and I was like, maybe we should wait a little bit.

[Garrick]

But yeah.

[Brian Green]

So yeah, yeah. So anyway. Yeah, enough with that. Three years of my life. I just wanted to dive right back into Tinder.

[Garrick]

We started dating again, and we ended up meeting a girl named Natalia. She's. Sweetheart.

[Brian Green]

Look at that, Chrissy. Look at that.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

You see where this is going, right? Of course.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

The bikini picture of Natalia.

[Brian Green]

Very voluptuous. Very, very young. Very lovely, beautiful South America girl.

[Garrick]

She's a beautiful girl. She's a little younger. She's only 26.

[Brian Green]

Jeez. Jeez.

[Garrick]

She's very pretty, I think. And sweet. She's very intelligent. Smart also.

[Brian Green]

No, I'm sure she is. As the throwaway, right? Yeah. She also happens to be intelligent. Javeri's pretty and sexy and I love her ass. She's got great tits. And from what I've seen, her labia is fantastic. I masturbate all the time to her. She's smart also.

[Garrick]

Sometimes talking to Natalia, about four and a half months. I'd say about two months. It started getting serious where we thought, wow, there's something special here. Well, I gotta get going to meet Sam.

[Brian Green]

Well, I gotta get going to five more wives. I'll be back later.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

Yeah, Samantha should be here any minute, too, to kind of gonna break the news to her about Natalia. So we have been holding off on telling Sam and Samantha about dating Natalia.

[Brian Green]

Sam and Samantha? It's her brother. No, it's her brother and his wife.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

It is kind of fresh still, everything that happened with Roberta, and I'm sure they're gonna be a little apprehensive.

[Garrick]

He'll be nice and feisty.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

I'm sure he always is. They both are. Samantha too, a little bit.

[Garrick]

He's like spunky, sassy, feisty. She's just a little bubbly.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Yeah.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

He's like your girlfriend. I tell you that.

[Brian Green]

He's like your girlfriend, only he has a girlfriend.

[Garrick]

I know.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

You know, I feel like Garrick and I usually are kind of on the same page, I think. For the most part.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Usually kind of.

[Brian Green]

Usually kind of. Except for when it comes to adding a. And wife to the family. When it comes to adding a wife to the family, we have our disagreements. Like, I don't think so. And he does know.

[Danielle (Garrick's wife)]

Of course, there comes these fears and worries that. Are we rushing it? Are we moving too fast? But then sometimes those fears and worries can hinder you at the same time, you know? So I don't know. Just a lot of questions and.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so there. Now you've met them. I mean, there's more to the episode. Maybe I'll cut some more clips and we'll do it later on this week. But I just wanted everyone to get a. To get like, a starter course to seeking sister wives because I'm so fascinated by this show. Actually, it's like one of the only shows I'm still watching on. On tlc.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Of course, now I've got to go watch it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you do. You really do. But started from season one. That's my suggestion. Yeah, there's five seasons. You'll get through it quickly. Listen, I watched Better Call Saul in, like, a day and a half while you were gone. I just watched all of Better Call Saul. I mean, not all of it. The last two seasons. What a great show that was. Did you watch Better Call Saul? Of course. So brilliant.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Great show.

[Brian Green]

What a. What? That director and that writer is such a master of Gilliam. Vince Gill. Brilliant. Is such a master of that format. He really is. Yeah. And, you know, I don't know there's any more.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

Odenkirk played a great role, too.

[Brian Green]

You know, my. One of my brothers said, oh, I don't think Bob Odenkirk's a great actor. And I'm like, listen, maybe not all round, but he was born to play Saul. Yeah, he is Saul. He is Saul. And I just think that show is fantastic. Baby reindeer. I want to talk about that in an upcoming episode. Watch it. Yeah, watch baby reindeer. And when you do, we got to talk about. About it. Okay. Baby reindeer is fantastic. So super excited about our guest this week, Rachel Feinstein. Go to rachel-feinstein.com for more information about her tour, her new special drop this week. Please go watch a big guy. Big guy. And what a lovely, lovely human being. I really had a lot of fun with her. Lots more great. Yeah, Lots more great interviews coming up. I think you're going to be surprised. Surprised. I think you're gonna be surprised at who agreed to come on the commercial.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

It's been fun.

[Brian Green]

It has been fun. So I want to tell you, tcbpodcast.com that's where you go. You find out more information about the show. All the audio, all the video right there from one location. No need to go anywhere else. You can listen to it and watch it right on the website. You can also get your free TCB sticker. Put it wherever you want. Doesn't matter. We call it a bumper sticker, but doesn't need to be a bumper sticker. No one has a bumper anymore. No one puts bumpers on things. It's not like 1972 when you put it on a bumper. Go to the website, hit the contact us button, drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your address and we'll send you a sticker. If you're going to be or you are living in Chicago, New York, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, any of those places, let us know if you'd like us to come do a live show there. We certainly would be interested in hearing from you at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and 212-4333TCB. All right, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

But I'll tell you that I love you.

[Kristen Joy Oatley]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

I'll say best to you. Best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy. And I always say, we do say and we must say goodbye, Sam.