Popping Off!

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break – “Popping Off!”

Release Date: March 13, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Episode Length: ~1 hr

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Episode Overview

In this high-energy, improv-heavy episode of The Commercial Break, Bryan and Krissy welcome listeners with their signature blend of unfiltered banter. The episode dives into everything from hilarious personal anecdotes to a scathing comedic takedown of televangelist Peter Popoff and his infamous “miracle spring water.” The duo sets out to expose the absurdity behind TV faith healing, while weaving in stories from their own lives, riffing on pop culture, poking fun at their pasts, and delivering meta-commentary about the commercialism of spirituality—all with their trademark self-awareness and chaotic charm.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Listener Shoutouts, Guests, and Podcast Clout

• [00:33–03:18]
  • Bryan and Krissy kick off by riffing on recent guests, notably Hannah Berner (who kindly shouted out the show on Instagram, which the hosts find delightfully generous given their self-proclaimed lack of “clout”).
  • “Hannah Burner has clout. And The Commercial Break has the opposite of whatever clout means. We do not have anybody that follows us on Instagram.” – Bryan [01:41]
  • Reflect on the fun, surprising outcomes of their loose, unpolished interviews.
  • Joke about their tiny listenership: “All three of you, if you don't... Gustavo, Astrid, and Jeff... We've outgrown you or big time.” – Bryan [02:44]

2. Behind-the-Scenes: Celebrity Guests and Barking Dogs

• [03:18–04:22]
  • Share the chaos of recording with comedian Tom Papa, whose entire interview was drowned out by Bryan’s dog, Blue, barking non-stop.
  • “The poor bastard had to listen to 28 minutes… 48 minutes… of Blue barking the entirety of the episode.” – Bryan [03:41]
  • Discuss the unpredictability of home recording with pets and family nearby.

3. Marriage, Instagram, & Meditation Mishaps

• [04:22–08:57]
  • Bryan describes communication with his wife Astrid via Instagram Reels and their mutual apologies on rough days.
  • A viral video triggers his anxiety, and he jokes about an unusable meditation app that turns out to be a conspiracy theory portal.
  • “Not only do I not use it, I wouldn’t use it, and I don’t like it. But they keep on claiming it’s not them, even though it’s their phone number...” – Bryan [07:20]
  • Running gag: the multitude of Bryan’s old email addresses, reflecting his eclectic employment history.

4. Nostalgia: The Eggmobile, ‘Phantom of the Opera’, and Doomed Dating

• [09:08–18:24]
  • Bryan recounts his mom picking him up in a Toyota Previa (“Andrew Lloyd Weber egg mobile”) blaring “Phantom of the Opera.”
  • Hilarious story: On a first date, the woman gets in Bryan’s car, turns on the stereo, and is confronted with ‘Phantom of the Opera’—the date tanks instantly.
  • “She calls her friends…slowly gravitates away from you with her friends and leaves you at the bar by yourself. That was it.” – Bryan [15:25]
  • Krissy deems the woman not the right one, and the segment morphs into a riff on weird musical taste and bad first impressions.

5. Pop Culture Tangents: Kings of Leon, Musical Tastes, and Old Cars

• [17:04–18:24]
  • Bryan reminisces about following Kings of Leon and embarrassing, heartfelt music choices as dating “flexes.”

6. Televangelist Deep Dive: Peter Popoff’s Miracle Spring Water

• [19:56–31:03]
  • The heart of the episode: a raucous review of a Peter Popoff infomercial, complete with audio drops, play-by-play, and scathing commentary.
  • Popoff’s “miracle water” and TV faith healing tricks are ruthlessly lampooned.
  • Key quote: “Which disease is cured in five minutes? And when do they give you a countdown? …The new season of 600-pound life, I don’t see Dr. Now saying: you’ve got five minutes to lose 200 pounds.” – Bryan [23:32]
  • The hosts alternate between mocking the infomercial’s scripted “miracle” testimonials and its preposterous stagecraft (“He’s got a jawline bigger than his head… kind of looks like Herman Munster”) [26:13]; [26:19]

Notable Infomercial Moments:

• The ‘miracle’ is always credited to buying/using Popoff’s water; cringe-worthy audience “healings” are dissected live.
• “Do whatever you want with it. Don’t give a shit to me as long as you send the check. I use it as a godly douche.” – Bryan, lampooning Popoff’s sales pitch [28:16]

7. Meta Commentary: Faith, Scams, and Psychic Belief

• [42:34–56:46]
  • After “prank calling” Popoff’s toll-free number and providing fake info, Bryan and Krissy reflect on the broader culture of faith healers and psychic scams.
  • “There is a decreasing belief that therapists can help people and increasing belief that psychics can. Did you hear about this?” – Bryan [47:24]
  • Both argue that while faith and the mind can be powerful, Popoff-style “miracles” are preying on vulnerable people.

8. Psychics, Therapy, and Cold Readings

• [47:24–56:46]
  • Discuss studies showing people’s growing trust in psychics vs. therapy, media complicity in supporting “celebrity mediums,” and notorious psychic failures.
  • Bryan gives a comedic demonstration of a generic “cold reading.”
  • “My point is, Peter Popoff and these psychics, they’re all doing the same thing. They are trying to get you to part with your money… on the backs of your misfortune.” – Bryan [55:38]

9. Personal Reflections, Balance, & Self-Deprecation

• [57:00–59:19]
  • Brian jokes about starting “Brian’s Bitching” Wednesdays and “Chrissy Fridays” (where he doesn’t show up).
  • Krissy shares her penchant for “nice news” as an antidote to Bryan’s doomscrolling.
  • The pair underscore the importance of humor and balance to cope with bad news and personal stress.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “Hannah Burner has clout…We do not have anybody that follows us on Instagram. We have no Riz whatsoever.” – Bryan [01:41]
• “The poor bastard had to listen to…Blue barking the entirety of the episode.” – Bryan on Tom Papa [03:41]
• “Not only do I not use it, I wouldn’t use it, and I don’t like it. …They keep on claiming it’s not them, even though it’s their phone number.” – Bryan [07:20]
• “Which disease is cured in five minutes? And when do they give you a countdown?” – Bryan [23:32]
• “Do whatever you want with it. Don’t give a shit to me as long as you send the check. I use it as a godly douche.” – Bryan, mock-Popoff script [28:16]
• “I want to make money from this podcast, please. That’s our prayer.” – Krissy, joking about their “miracle” request [41:22]
• “Psychics…are trying to get you to part with your money or become popular…” – Bryan [55:38]

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Key Timestamps for Reference

• 00:33 – Show intro, Hannah Berner guest recap, playful self-deprecation
• 03:18 – Tom Papa episode chaos, “Blue” the barking dog
• 04:22 – Instagram communication with spouse, meditation app nightmare
• 09:08 – Email address/job history gag, nostalgia about family minivans
• 13:46 – Phantom of the Opera date disaster story
• 19:03 – Teaser for Peter Popoff segment
• 19:56 – What is “miracle spring water”? Popoff infomercial review begins
• 23:08 – Mocking the infomercial script: “five minutes or life support”
• 25:47 – “Doing the pop off” (mock sexual position), recurring body failure/boner jokes
• 28:16 – Satirical alternate uses for “miracle” water
• 42:34 – Hosts call Popoff’s hotline with joke info
• 47:24 – Discussion on decline of faith in therapy vs. rise in psychics
• 54:54 – Bryan’s “cold reading” comedy bit
• 57:00 – “Brian’s Bitching” and “Chrissy Fridays” banter
• 58:36 – Satirical commercial for “miracle chapstick”
• 59:20 – Loving sign-off between Bryan & Krissy

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Final Thoughts

“Popping Off!” encapsulates everything that makes The Commercial Break a one-of-a-kind listen: true improv energy, self-roasting humor, irreverent takes on pop culture oddities, and a clever, biting dissection of contemporary scams—all held together by Bryan and Krissy’s decades-long friendship. The episode is both a hilarious takedown of televangelist chicanery and a sweet reminder not to take life, or yourself, too seriously.

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If you’re new to TCB, this episode is a perfect crash course into their world of playful chaos, mock-seriousness, and off-kilter commentary—no “miracle water” required.

Transcript

[A]

What is God's name?

[B]

Howard.

[A]

Who?

[C]

Howard.

[B]

Howard.

[A]

How do you know his name is Howard?

[C]

Because.

[A]

Because what?

[C]

Our father and lord in heaven, Howard be our name.

[B]

Who?

[C]

Howard be thy name.

[A]

Howard be thy name. On this episode of the commercial break. Yeah. I'm gonna name a new sexual position. That one. Asher and I are. Yeah. I'm gonna throw a leg over here and a foot over there and I'm gonna go we the pop off.

[C]

Meanwhile, your. Your knee pops out.

[A]

I know. Here's my boner. My half owner. My prostate is enlarged. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of the commercial break, Kristen Joy Hley. Best to Chris Best, you out there in the podcast universe. Hey, I wanted to say a couple of things about some of our nice guests that have come on. Hannah Burner is so very sweet.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Remember when Lunel told us not to never to judge a book by its cover?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

I was never judging Hannah anyway. But I'm just saying that Lunel told us that she. Hannah is so sweet. Not only did she come on and we had a fantastic time.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But then on top. Um, and I know this may sound like small potatoes to some people, but it feels like a really nice thing for her to do for us is that she shared a post on Instagram about her being on the commercial break. Now all you need to do is be a casual observer of Instagram, a user of Instagram for like 7 minutes to understand that Hannah Burner has clout. And the commercial break has the opposite of whatever clout means. We do not have anybody that follows us on Instagram. It's growing, but it grows very slow. Yeah. We have no Riz whatsoever. And maybe we don't do a great job of it. But I just wanted to say I thought it was very sweet of her to share that she was on the commercial.

[C]

I'm very appreciative.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I mean, she just was so much fun. And you're right. Judging a book by its cover. I wasn't judging her, but I didn't know much about her.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And so afterwards, that's what's been actually a really great part of our interviews.

[A]

I agree with you too. Is finding out more about people we know or finding out about people that we have no idea about getting to know them.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I think a lot of fun.

[C]

A lot of fun.

[A]

And I hope that the audience feels the same way. But since there's three people listening. All three of you, if you don't. Yeah. Gustavo, Astrid, and Jeff. Screw you guys. We don't care what you think anymore. We've outgrown you or big time. Yeah. And, you know, if I. And I just wanted to share that if I was Hannah Burner and had come on the commercial break, I would do everything in my power to keep that a secret. I can't believe some of these people come on this show. It's so crazy. It's so crazy. And, you know, Blue also is making more appearances than any guest. She is.

[C]

I mean. Oh, my God.

[A]

We were. Who were. We were recording with? Was it.

[C]

It was Tom.

[A]

Tom. Tom Papa, who you may not have. Oh, yeah, no, the episode will be. It just came out yesterday, actually. So, you know, he's a big deal. He. To us, he's a big deal. Because, you know, we've been watching Tom Papa for a long time, and he's a very notable comic in our. Like, in our generation, in our ethos. And I think he's still a big deal to this day. Sells out theaters, right? The guy is. The guy is great. The poor bastard had to listen to 28 minutes. No, 38 minutes, 48 minutes, however long we went. Had to listen to Blue barking the entirety of the episode. And there's nothing that I could do about it. What am I gonna do?

[C]

We're in the middle of the interview. So, yeah, it was. And we had recorded another episode earlier that day. And she was silent.

[A]

She didn't say a word.

[C]

Notably silent. And then I thought, good, good.

[A]

I thought, good, good. She's. She's gone to heaven.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

She's gone around.

[C]

I don't know where she is, but she's not outside the door barking. But that all changed.

[A]

It all changed as soon as second Tom Papa got on. It's as if she thought Tom Papa was in the room with us and she had to protect us from Tom Papa. I even at one point saw Tom kind of cock his head like he was listening to see if it was his dog or something. You know, like, hey, you guys want to pause for a second? And Tom comes on, and he's like, wow, you guys got a really professional studio over there. And then I have to stop to explain to him that my dog, the landscaper, and three of my children are in the bathtub within 15ft of our professional studio. So I'll be back. Astrid sent me this reel the other day, and she's like, pure green family, pure hell. And I was like, what does that mean? So I pop it open, you know, because that's what Astrid and I do. We lay three feet from each other and send reels back and forth. That's how we communicate. Now when she's mad at me for something, she'll send me a reel about some girl complaining about her husband doing the exact same thing. Or sometimes when she's, you know, everyone has a moment, they get fussy or whatever. And I think astron are really good are. Both of us are really good at identifying when a little lashing out might not be because we're actually angry at the other person, but because we're just tired, angry, fussy, whatever, hungry, whatever it is. So we do a lot of apologizing to each other. I'm sorry it wasn't my best today, you know, whatever. So Astrid sends me a lot of reels, you know, that is basically, I'm a woman, you know, it's when it's like me apologizing to my husband for being crazy today and it's like got the, you know, doing whatever it is. And so Astrid often sends me that. I know it's her apology and I'm like, oh, that's okay. But she sends me this green family pure hell. And then I open it up and it is a lady who's got, I'm going to guess 20, maybe 30 Yorkies in the backyard and she's throwing this big bouncy ball in the yard and all of the yorkies are like, it's 30 yorkies just going crazy. I swear to God, it triggered me. I needed to meditate real quick. I was like, oh my God, I can't take it.

[C]

Well, thank God you've got that app that you still can't figure out how to cancel.

[A]

I have no idea. I have no idea. I would say the name on air. It's a total ripoff. By the way, they got me in on the pro on the premise that they were going to give me some good meditation. They were going to do certain types of meditation that I'm into. They were like these guided meditations, a type of meditation that I'm into. Like full length bot, you know, full like hour long body scans and stuff like this, which I do all the time, baby, by the way. I look at my body and I go, holy, you got old and fat and tired looking real quick.

[C]

So this meditation, does it make you feel better?

[A]

That's right.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Meditation to identify how old and fat you are. And so I thought that's what they were getting Me in with it was, this is years ago on it's. I mean, so long ago when I first got on Instagram. And so I thought to myself, yeah, this is. I could use this, you know, 1999amonth. I thought to myself, that's a small price to pay for peace of mind. Yeah. And it ended up being a portal for shitty conspiracy theories and dumb ideas about medicines and doctors. I mean, honestly, it's just Conspiracy Theory 101 across the board. So not only do I not use it, I wouldn't use it, and I don't like it. But they keep on claiming it's not them, even though it's their phone number. I'll call them and they'll be like, nope, it's not them, not us. And then I'll call the phone number on the charge and the same guy will pick up and I'll be like, well, this was on the charge. Nope, not us. Wrong Mr. Pickford altogether. Can you give me your username and password? No, I don't know it. I hated your app the second that I got on it. I don't know it. I don't understand it. I can give you one of 75 email addresses I've had in the last 10 years.

[C]

True. You've so many.

[A]

I have so many email addresses, as a matter of fact, it's probably not hard to find one of my email addresses because all you got to do is just type some random numbers and characters into your keyboard at Gmail and it's probably my email address.

[C]

So I was so happy when we finally did the TCB ones, because I'm like, now I know.

[A]

Now you know exactly how to get a hold of it.

[C]

It really would. It would pop up for me if I wanted to send you something. I mean, it would be a list.

[A]

And it'd be like 30 email addresses.

[C]

10. I'm like, well, which one's he checking? And I'd say, I sent that to you. And you're like, oh, that. That email. I'll never check that.

[A]

That was a job I had for two months. Brian at McDonald's. Brian at Wendy's dot com. Brian at Little Caesars dot com. Brian at Clearchannel dot com Brian. I mean, I had so many email address. It's a testament to my work history.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

This is the longest job I've had, if I'm being honest. I think it is. Me too. I think it is. And job. Usually you get paid when you do a job, but, you know, whatever we're.

[C]

We're working on, yeah, we're being loosey goosey with that term.

[A]

Yeah, you get loosey goosey when you know I'm an entrepreneur. When someone says I'm a lifelong entrepreneur like I do, that means I'm a lifelong person. Yeah, lifelong broke person. When you don't say what you do. When you say I'm an entrepreneur, that means I'm also broke like you. I mean, that's what that means. I rented the car for the night because I didn't want you to know I drove a Honda with no headlight. With one headlight. Remember that song? What was that? Bob Dylan's son, Jacob Dylan. Remember? Yeah, with one headline. That was like the theme song for my car.

[C]

If only you'd had Apple music piped in. Just gonna play it every time you got in.

[A]

But trust me, that card did not have Apple CarPlay. Barely had AM FM. Barely had am. I had to get one of those tapes that you had to put in to get a CD player. Yeah, and I was so happy when I did, actually, it did have a CD player. And I was so excited about that.

[C]

When I got it.

[A]

Well, it was big, you know. The world had long since moved on to Apple Music and SiriusXM. But Brian was so excited about the CD player. I still had that binder atop. Oh yeah, that flip down binder with the CDs. But of course, where were the CDs? On the floor. Because that's what I would do. Take it out, throw it on the floor, put in the next one. I remember one time in that hot shitty Honda, my mom, when we were kids, I. I think my mom and actually I actually talked about this when she was on one time, my mom, for probably two years straight when she would pick us up from school, which she would do every day. She'd pick us up to school in a Toyota Previa, which was one of those eggmobiles, the ones that look, the minivans look like little eggs. They were rounded at both sides. Remember, the engine was in the floorboard of the car. So there was no, there was no hood. It was just like you were just driving this little weird bus. It looked like an egg around. So she would pick us up in that Toyota Previa and Phantom of the Opera would be playing because my mom bought the CD or the tapes for Phantom of the Opera. Okay, all right, fast forward. Years later, I'm driving in that workout.

[C]

With your school friends.

[A]

How did it work out with our school?

[C]

Phantom of the Operation?

[A]

Hey, Brian, your ride's here. That egg playing Andrew Lloyd Webber, the Andrew Lloyd Weber egg is here. And then they would have to, like, call out your day, you know, because we were all standing in this little area. Then they would call out your name when your parents showed up and which lane you had to be in. It'd be like, you know, Brian and Kevin Green, Lane four. You know, Brian and Kevin Green, Andrew Lloyd Egg mobile this year. And we know, because my mom would be beaten to it. You know, Masquerade with the fairies on parade. Masquerade. Okay, so listen. So years later, fast forward. Brian's got his own car and Honda with one headlight. And I go to a thrift store one time, and there's a. There's like, a box of CDs. This is when CDs were out of favor. Now they're coming back into favor. Like, records are right, but they were out of favor back then. So everyone just. Just gave their CDs away. And so this whole box of CDs, and the lady was at the. Behind the counter was like, pick five for a dollar, whatever they are. So I rummaged through, and I managed to find three that I like. And then she's like, well, you got another two to pick. And I was like, I don't really see anything that I like in here. But then I see Phantom of the Opera, original cast, Andrew Lloyd Webber. And I don't know if I was feeling particularly nostalgic that day, but I was like, what the fuck? It's. You know, I got to get two extras. I think I bought that. And, I don't know, Third Eye Blind or some like that. I was taking bumps taken on the mountain back there to the place we want to. So I pick Phantom of the Opera, right? So it's an afternoon. This is. I'm going on a first date that night with a young lady. Oh, it's in the afternoon. I am going to pick a shirt.

[C]

At Marshalls or something or at the thrift store. I was thinking, no, no, no, it.

[A]

Wasn'T the same night. But, like, later, I'm going to the thrift store, then I'm gonna go take a walk. Then I'm gonna get all excited about this first date that I have for this girl. I'm newly divorced. You know, I'm going, first date, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I get in the car and I put in Phantom of the Opera. For whatever reason, I'm feeling again, I'm feeling probably nostalgic, and I'm excited, and I'm just like, yeah, let me listen to a little Phantom of the Opera.

[B]

So.

[A]

And then I get out of the car and I turn it off, and the girl says she is going to meet me at the bar that we're gonna meet at, but then calls me, like, 10 minutes ahead of time and says, I actually have been drinking a little bit, so would it be okay if you picked me up? She didn't live too far. And I thought, yeah, I will. Sure. So I go, I pick her up, she gets in the car. We're gonna go ahead to this bar. It's like 15, 20 minutes away. And we're driving in the car, and she's like, oh, I'm so excited. You know, I was out all day with my friends. Okay, great, great. I'm. Do you mind if I turn on the radio? And I'm like, sure, no problem. Turn on the radio. And so she hits the on button, and there it goes, the Phantom of the Upper Rising. And she's like, what's this? And I was, like, trying to, like, press it off real quick. I'm like, I don't know.

[C]

My mom drove this car before, earlier in the day.

[A]

It's npr. It's public radio. I don't know what it is. Chrissy, I swear to God. That date went terribly. She was so excited when she got in the car. Phantom of the Opera comes on, the mood completely changed. Completely changed. Completely.

[C]

No, she wasn't the right one.

[A]

No, she wasn't. No nookie, no love, no nothing. The date maybe lasted an hour. Here's how you know what date is going bad. And this is when I realized that I was, like, not the Mr. Stud that I thought I was. When you're on a date, a first date, where you picked the girl up and she calls her friends or texts them secretly. Yeah. To invite them to the same bar so that she can just slowly gravitate away from you with her friends and leave you at the bar by yourself. That was it. That's what happened. All of a sudden, her friends are at the bar, and she's like, oh, my gosh, I had no idea you were gonna be here. And I'm like, you. Like, these girls would never come to this bar. Central City Tavern. No one would come to this bar. Shitty bar in a strip mall. Nonetheless. I mean, it was our spot, but it wasn't her spot, apparently. Maybe it was a combination of Phantom of the Opera and Central City Tavern that turned her off. Possibly. But they came, they showed up, and she.

[C]

I would have been curious. I. I would have been curious as to why Fan of the opera is playing. What was the backstory on that?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't think that's why we're lifelong friends.

[A]

That's why we're lifelong friends. And this girl judged a book right by its cover. But to be fair, if you show up in some strange guy's car and he's playing Phantom of the Opera, it's probably a murderer. So leave him alone. I thought I was. You know, I thought at least I could go in my head. I won't forget this.

[C]

At least it wasn't Third Eye Blind.

[A]

At least it wasn't Third Eye Blind. Yeah. Could have been a lot worse. Could have been Smash Mouth. And all the rage at that time was Kings of Leon. Remember, that's all we played for, like, a year was Kings of Leon.

[C]

That's all you played, Kingsley.

[A]

You sexes of. Oh, I love Kings of Leon.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Those first two albums are amazing. I loved Kings.

[C]

You went on, like, Leon tour.

[A]

I did go on a Leon tour. I remember, like, my friend got the. My friend was writing for the college magazine, the Athens Flagpole, and he got an assignment, I think, from rolling stone.com. their first U.S. stadium show, which was actually the College of. Or the. The Charles Charleston College of Charleston Coliseum, which is kind of small. It's only, like, less than. It's like 8,000 people, 7,000 people. But it was their first on this big tour they had done after that Sex on Fire song came out. And I'd like them along before that. But I was so excited to go with him to this. And it ended up being a total shit show. But there's a number of episodes where I talk about that. I don't repeat it. But, you know, I would have thought in my mind, I thought, this is embarrassing, but it shows my softer side. So I'm giving her a little taste of what's going on here. Right. But obviously she wasn't a musical theater fan because he left without saying goodbye. She left without saying goodbye. She went off with her friends and never came back. But to be fair, if I was a girl and I met Brian Green, I'd probably be, like, calling my friends, too. Get me out of here. Get me out of here.

[C]

The right one. And thank goodness you found Astrid.

[A]

I did find Astrid. Yes. And now Astrid is.

[C]

You bamboozled your way.

[A]

Yeah, that's right. Now Astrid, like that girl who's trying to get her friends from Venezuela so she could shuffle off into the night. Not so fast. Like my baby does.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

No, now we have kids. You're stuck with me. I'm sorry. All right. I want to talk about Peter Pop off when we get back. Chrissy, do you know Peter Popoff? I'm gonna teach you all about him.

[C]

I can't wait.

[A]

All right, we'll be back with Peter. Peter Popoff and the Andrew Lloyd Weber Eggmobile when we get back.

[D]

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-4333, TCB. And you can text us anytime you want or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year.

[A]

Of course.

[D]

Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok, CBpodcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com now, I'm gonna thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G. And here they.

[A]

All right. Peter Popoff is one of the OG televangelists. He sells miracle holy water for a living. That's what he does. You.

[C]

His last name is Pop Off.

[A]

Pop Off? Yeah, Kind of like whack off, but Pop Off.

[C]

He's popping off.

[A]

Yeah, he's popping off. He is just. It's hard to describe Peter Pop off without actually seeing him. And we're going to review a video, an infomercial, actually. Peter Pop off is an. Is a guy who actually pays for time on tv so then he can sell you this magical spring water that's been blessed by him, this miracle water that's been blessed by him. He is one of these preachers, like a number of them, like Benny Hinn and some of these other people who actually, like hit people across the head and throw them on the floor. And, you know, I'm blind, so you throw them on the floor and they wake up, you know, seeing everything. Such horse shenanigans going on here, such chicanery that's happening with Peter Pop off that it's hard to believe that anybody would send him a hard earned dollar. But the guy, at least for a while, was ranked one of the richest televangelists in the world for many years now. I don't know what's happened to Peter, but I'd like to get to the bottom of it. I don't know what's happened to Peter. I haven't seen him recently. But of course I don't watch as many late night infomercials as I used to.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Yeah. I'm usually in bed by 6:15, so sometimes Chrissy will call me at 9 and I'm like, what is she calling me so late for? It's crazy. She's gonna wake up the kids. What is she doing? I'm already in bed. Don't call me after 8 o'. Clock. I'm no good. I'm no good. Even if I'm awake. My brain is mush. So don't call me. I won't be able to talk about anything meaningful. No, no, but so I thought let's review an infomercial.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And let's see if we can get to the bottom of what Peter Popoff is doing now. Now, this video is about five or six years old at least from YouTube. It's five or six years.

[C]

You heard it here last.

[A]

You heard it here.

[C]

We're continuing with that theme.

[A]

Much like the guests, they show up here last. The news comes here last. You're least informed when you go to the commercial booth. We tried to be in the news category on Apple, but legally they did not allow us.

[C]

No.

[A]

Yeah, their law, their legal department sent us a letter. Legally, we cannot consider this news. It's the opposite of whatever news. Due to new fake news restrictions, you will not be allowed to be on Apple's news department. So let's review a Peter Popoff infomercial here. If you want to watch this YouTube.com/the commercial break. The episodes are usually up the same day that they air, but sometimes they're up a day later. So just be mindful of that. But you'll Google Peter Pop off safely if you're driving. Don't do that, but Google it and you'll know exactly who I'm talking about. Without further ado, I was trolling on.

[C]

The Internet as you.

[A]

You know, I just realized it's been a long time since we've done a video here. The commercial break, that is by design, by the way, because Brian doesn't have any more time on his hands to find silly videos. Yeah, we just, you know, changing it up a little bit. All right, here we go.

[C]

Do that.

[A]

Yeah. Meant. Sorry. Meant to. Sorry. Meant to. All right, here we go. Peter Popoff. You're watching Vision tv.

[E]

Vision TV brother was in the hospital on life support. The doctor said, you got five minutes or you're gonna go on life support and you're gonna stay on life support. His wife called in for him and got the miracle spring water.

[A]

Wait, hold on. What?

[C]

Listen here, sir. You're about to go on life support. If you. The next five minutes.

[A]

Sir. Ma', am, I've got good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is you're deathly ill. There's nothing we can do about it. And once you go on life support, you'll never come back. The good news, You've got five minutes to call for miracle spring water. If we can get that spring water in here. Stop. Then things will be different. Which disease is cured in five minutes? And when do they give you a countdown? There's a timer. I didn't know that. I've watched a lot of medical related shows. The new season of 600 pound life. I don't see Dr. Now's Arden going, you've got five minutes to lose 200 pounds. So I thought I put you on life support forever. Forever. By the way, this is not Peter Popoff talking. This is one of his lackeys. He looks like a Peter Pop off lackey. Yeah, look at him. He's dressed in a seven thousand dollar suit. Meanwhile, the guy next to him has no teeth. They probably had to take the teeth out to get the life support in there.

[E]

They said you got between three and six months. He's out of the hospital and that was almost a year ago.

[A]

Welcome to the Peter Papa miracle Easter special. The time to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ and get your money. The tomb could not hold him. He arose victorious over death and the grave. His victory is your victory. God's word declares that the same spirit.

[B]

That raised Christ from the.

[A]

Pisses me off because this is so much going on. I know. This is the Messiah. This is the most beautiful, one of the most beautiful songs ever written. And they're playing it so they can get your cash out of your handbag. It's insane. And there is a lot going on.

[C]

Yeah. There's moving pictures and two songs I think happening. Well, there's the chorus.

[A]

There's the chorus going on of the Messiah. Yeah. Open your checkbook. The dead will touch your body. Ways of that resurrection power will flow to you today. Jesus lives. Now we'll touch your body just like Papa.

[B]

Get ready for his.

[A]

That's my. I'm going to name a new sexual position that when Asher and I are in bed. Yeah. I'm going to throw a leg over here and a foot over there and I'm going to go. We're doing the pop off.

[C]

Meanwhile, your. Your knee pops out of Joint.

[A]

I know. Here's my boner, my half boner. My prostate is enlarged. The power to touch you today.

[B]

God is touching hurting people around the world. And now he wants to touch.

[A]

There's Peter Pop off right there. Yeah.

[C]

Oh yeah. He's got the dyed hair too.

[A]

Yeah. And look at that jawline. I. I very rarely see people with bigger jaws than they have heads. You know what I'm saying?

[C]

Kind of almost looks like a Herman Munster. Ish.

[A]

He does it. Looks like he's got makeup on or something. But nope, that's him.

[B]

You with his miracle working power. I'm Reverend Peter Popoff. This is my precious wife Elizabeth. And we're just so excited about to.

[A]

Get more money from you today.

[B]

What God is doing in the lives of so many people today. Salvation, Healing. Deliverance. We've got testimonies to share with you today that I know will challenge your faith. Is that right, Liz?

[C]

That's right.

[A]

Is that right? Because if you don't say what I like, it's a backhand to the forehead.

[C]

I know. She looks like she's blinking.

[A]

Yeah, she is.

[C]

Like hell.

[A]

Help.

[C]

Messages.

[A]

Sos. Morse code.

[B]

You know, you've been traveling so much lately and that's why there's.

[A]

That's right. I've been a lot of.

[C]

On my private jet.

[A]

My precious. On my private jet.

[C]

So many more testimonies.

[B]

But we've been getting letter upon letter.

[C]

Of hundreds of letters every day of testimonies.

[B]

First we get the prayer requests and then we pray and then we get the testimony.

[C]

It just works like that.

[A]

It just works like magic. It works so magical.

[C]

You have to request the prayer. Then they pray the magical spring water. Things are cured.

[A]

Yeah, that's right. Only if you pay for the magical spring water.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

You have to buy that.

[A]

That's right. Here's my precious Chrissy talking. Talking out of turn. Don't talk over me. Precious Chrissy.

[C]

Hey, pop off.

[A]

Put the lotion in the basket. Pop off.

[C]

And deliverance.

[B]

And it's so sweet.

[C]

We just love to see the progression.

[B]

It's exciting.

[A]

It's exciting to get all that money from people.

[B]

We're going to share it with you today. That's right. And we're going to tell you about the miracle spring water. Liz is. Is going to read you some of the testimonies of people who.

[A]

Thousand bucks that comes from their tap. Thousand bucks that comes from a tap. In their gold plated tap is one house in Texas used it as a.

[B]

Point of contact and seen the most amazing miracle Spiritual, physical.

[C]

And do you drink the water or do you just douse it over yourself?

[A]

Do whatever you want with it. Don't give a to me as long as you send the check. I use it as a godly douche is what I use.

[C]

I was gonna say you could mix up some enemies solution with it.

[A]

I'd just like you to shut up now, Chrissy, I brought you on as a to look pretty, not to do all that talking. We're just so excited about all the miracles of Chrissy shutting up right now. You. I talked. I told you about talking back.

[B]

Financial testimony.

[C]

Everywhere we go, people want to know whether we have any miracle spring water with us.

[B]

That's right. We're known by our.

[A]

We make so much money it's ridiculous.

[C]

Hey, hey, hey, you got any that spring water?

[B]

Hey papa.

[C]

Hey, hey. I can see he's itching. People are like itching people calling the.

[A]

Prayer line, hey papa, you gave me that spring water, now I need more. Did you do to me, man?

[C]

Give me a little taster.

[A]

Just a little tasty te. Just give me a little of that.

[B]

Pee pee spring pee pee water.

[C]

You got the spring water, you got.

[A]

That spring water, you got that miracle spring water. You got that, you got that pizzle water, some of that. Some of that pizza wall.

[C]

Spring water.

[B]

Amen. Well, it's free. You can have it. We'll tell you how to use it, all you need to do.

[A]

But it's not really free, right?

[B]

Call the number on your screen. We'll tell you more about it. Now we're going to go right into the powerful miracle service already in progress.

[A]

Here we go. Wait, how is he in two places at once? It's amazing. And now they're just showing some B roll footage of, you know, scripture and. Yeah, the tomb. I don't think they actually ever found the tomb. I think that's a pretend tomb. Yeah, I think it's Peter Popoff's backyard.

[B]

Come on over here. Amen. How long have you had that pain, sister?

[A]

Almost a year.

[B]

Almost a year? Don't you believe that's long enough?

[A]

I tell you, the old year one guy. Yep. Yeah.

[C]

Long enough.

[A]

Get on with it. The 49ers are playing at 12.

[B]

Devil wants to torment you and oppress you until he wears you out. But I'll tell you, he's a liar. Here it comes. I'll tell you, that tightness is going to be broken. Oh, there it is.

[A]

Oh. Oh, she's wobbling. She's drunk in the spirit.

[C]

Drunk in the spirit, right now.

[A]

Now.

[B]

In the name of Jesus. In the name of Jesus. Jesus.

[A]

There she goes.

[B]

God's g. Given her a divine chiropractic treatment.

[A]

Divine chiropractic. Sharifa. This lady is wobbling around, twisting her head in all kind of ways.

[C]

She just kind of vaguely pointed to her neck.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Pain.

[A]

Yeah. I got seven children. I got that vague pain, too. All over my body in places I didn't even know I had.

[C]

You just need a divine chiropractic.

[A]

Apparently so.

[B]

Hallelujah.

[C]

Oh, she's dancing.

[A]

She's dancing. Look at her. God, look at that.

[C]

Speaking of Herman Munster.

[A]

Yeah, speaking of Herman. Monster. That's the weirdest dance I've ever seen.

[B]

Glory to God. What happened?

[A]

Look at her. She's in terrible pain. She's like, oh, I shouldn't have done that dance. I don't feel so good, Reverend. Hey, what happened to the pain?

[B]

No more pain. Is there a lady here? You've got something in your heart?

[A]

No. There's nobody in a crowd of 150,000 people that has a thing with their heart. Peter Popoff. When the average age of the audience member is 88 years old.

[C]

Right?

[B]

This has been afflicting you for a long time. You want God just to make it.

[A]

Do you notice the same parlor trick that Teresa Caputo uses is done by these preachers?

[C]

Yeah. General questions.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. Amen.

[A]

I'll tell you.

[B]

God's gonna make all the organs in your body work the way they should.

[A]

I've got terrible gas. Yeah, that's all you need.

[B]

What?

[A]

He just shits himself right there. I just shit myself for the first time in years.

[B]

And I'll tell you, the Lord's speaking to me even as you're walking up here. He says, I'm gonna turn her tears of sorrow into tears of joy. Tears of sorrow. There's just been a distance between even your loved ones that you didn't. You didn't experience before. Now God's gonna heal.

[A]

She's looking at him like, what?

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Nope, not me. But I guess I'm up here now with the microphone and all. I should pay attention.

[B]

Chasm. He's gonna bring you together, and you're going to feel his love and his power and the love of your family members like you. You've never felt it before. He's even now touching your body, tuning your body.

[A]

Tuning it up like a piano so I can play it later with my heritage. He's wearing a Rolex gold watch while he's doing this.

[B]

No.

[A]

But she's upset now.

[B]

Bringing her blood pressure down right now.

[A]

Glory to God. God, he's bringing her blood pressure down. Is that why she's getting so upset? That's what happens to me. Anytime the blood pressure goes down, Chrissy, I start crying. Yeah.

[B]

Glory to God. Something's breaking loose in her. Oh, there it is.

[A]

Oh, he smacked her right in the head. Look, look.

[B]

Look at that.

[C]

Oh, now she's running dancing.

[B]

I'll tell you, she's got energy now.

[C]

Was energy the problem?

[A]

No, he said the heart, and then he said you. Your family hasn't talked to you in a while, and now she's got energy. What happened? She had a whole series of problems we didn't know about, but now she's literally running around the hall.

[C]

She's running circles.

[A]

That's a lawsuit waiting to happen. If she really does have heart problems.

[B]

I tell you, God shocked her. I love.

[C]

They're playing like a down home.

[A]

Yeah, they're playing a little widespread in the background. Hey, live grounding. I like coconuts, man.

[B]

I better move out of the way.

[A]

Other lady hasn't run like that since the Arnold Schwarzenegger Presidential Fitness Challenge.

[B]

How long has it been since you ran like that?

[A]

Years.

[B]

Years. Well, I'll tell you, get ready, because you're gonna get up and go. You're gonna get up and go for. Jeez.

[E]

Called his wife called and got the miracle spring water form this guy.

[A]

Okay, we're on.

[C]

Straight off the Vegas trip.

[A]

He looked like he rolled right out of the bar into the. Actually, I think he was at a conference.

[C]

He just really drunk.

[A]

He just cheated on his wife. His wife called the hotel room, said, I know where you are. And he walked into this conference room.

[C]

You gotta go.

[A]

Yeah, he looks drunk from last night. He looks like. Like an old Chris Farley is what he looks like.

[E]

Yeah, he had excruciating back pain or leg pain.

[A]

He had excruciating. Wait, wrong one.

[C]

Could have been back.

[A]

It might have been left by the way he shook his head when he said, you had excruciating back pain. The guy was shaking his head. This is all right.

[B]

Pain so bad.

[E]

He was in tears.

[A]

He followed.

[C]

I like how other people are just mingling around, talking in the background.

[A]

Yep. Coffee and donuts. It's like an AA meeting that they said, hey, do you mind if we do some miracles up here? No, no, keep on doing your thing back there. Yeah, we just need to film with some people in the background.

[E]

Instructions.

[A]

Hey, do you mind faking? You have back pain? I mean, leg pain. I mean, Back pain. Thanks.

[E]

Of the miracle spring water. And has had no leg. His. He's off the medication and has had no. Doesn't need surgery and has a.

[A]

No leg.

[C]

Miracle.

[A]

It's a miracle, sister. That miracle spring water. It'll do it every time.

[C]

I do want to know how to use it.

[A]

You just sprinkle it all over your.

[C]

They said they were going to show us how to use it.

[A]

You sprink it all over your juicy nuptials and then watch. Watch as things grow and prosper.

[E]

Called and got the miracle spring water after watching you on television and she was suffering from terrible breast pain.

[A]

Oh, my God. Do you. Do you see? Okay, I want. I want you to notice something here, Chrissy, and I'm going to explain it. So there's an older lady standing next to Peter Popoff's guy, right. The guy that's out there doing the correspondent that's doing all these interviews. As he is saying the words. Watch as she lip reads the word. Mimics the words like she's not saying them, but as if she's reading the cue cards along with him. Watch.

[E]

And got the miracle spring water after watching you on television and she was suffering from terrible breast pain.

[A]

Do you see that? Do you see how she's. She's lip reading the words.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's insane.

[E]

On her left side.

[C]

They've got to have a script.

[A]

They got to have a script. Yeah. Freewheel this. God forbid you get paid millions and millions of dollars a year for doing nothing.

[E]

She got the miracle spring water. She followed the instructions and the pain left instantly. Totally vanished and hasn't been back.

[B]

How long had she been suffering with that pain? About six months. Six months. Our sister was.

[C]

I mean, pain in your breast, that.

[A]

Is not something you should use miracle spring water for.

[C]

And that's also not a thing. Really.

[A]

Well, no, I have to. I have to disagree because I know somebody who has been having pangs in their breasts.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And they went to the doctor and the doctor said, you know, did a mammogram. Said nothing that I see. But oftentimes muscles and tissue. Yeah. Especially if you have children. Sometimes memory ducts and stuff like that. Yeah.

[C]

It's not it.

[A]

Yeah, but maybe you don't like. Yeah, yeah. Unless you get punched in the boob. I've heard that hurts too.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Eating pain.

[B]

She used the miracle spring water instantly.

[A]

The pain left instant.

[B]

What happened to you, brother, is when you sent me that spring water, I had prostate cancer from the courtesy of the devil. I said, you're a Liar. And I got healed from the prostate cancer.

[C]

I mean, this is awful.

[A]

Yeah. This is terrible. That he is prey advising on people.

[C]

That have medical conditions. Yeah.

[A]

But this is the Peter pop off thing. And for. By the way, for every one of these testimonials that get done, there are 30 people on the Internet that will tell you it's horseshit. They've been there, they tried it, they did it. They got their money taken from them, and nothing fucking happened because of course. Yeah. And by the way, the mind is a powerful trick. It's a powerful tool, and you can trick it into making you better or making you sick. I do firmly believe that. Firmly believe that attitude is everything. And so I think some of these people may be healed because they believe so much that they are healing themselves that that's what happens. But by and large, most of these people are either not. The story is not true, it's faked, it's a complete lie, or they didn't get healed.

[B]

Prostate cancer. After he used the miracle spring water. I'll tell you this, brother who Peter.

[E]

Was suffering from something that a lot of people are suffering with. He was suffering from excruciating back pain so bad he couldn't even work. He saw you on television, he called, he got the miracle spring water.

[A]

Now, unfortunately, he has to work, and.

[E]

He followed the instructions, and his back pain left immediately. And better than that, he's back at work.

[A]

Work, brother.

[B]

You mean when you used it, the miracle spring water, the pain left instantly? Yes, yes. And it's never come back. Bend over a little bit.

[A]

Turn around. Bend over. Show us your black hole, son, will you? I'd like to see your shiny under bits. All right. There is a phone number on the bottom of this. I don't know. This is five years old. Yeah, at least five years old. But would you like to call it and see if we can get some miracle spring water sent to the studio?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And ask for. Have a prayer request. What should we have? Yeah, let's talk about this when we get back.

[C]

We make money from this podcast, please. That's our prayer.

[A]

We're suffering from podcaster syndrome, where everyone tells you you're going to make money, but it never quite happens, and then even when you do, they don't pay you. Not Odyssey, though. Odyssey is great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to make that clear. I don't want you to think that we're upset with Odyssey. We are not. We're upset with. Okay, we gotta take a break. We'll be back.

[D]

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone. That's right. It's 212-4333, TCB. And you can text us anytime you want or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year. Of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok CBpodcast and of course all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G. And here they are.

[A]

Okay, we're here talking about Peter Popoff in his miracle spring water. Peter Popoff was a late night infomercial guy like preacher. He would pay for the airtime, be about a half an hour long. Anybody that was that grew up in the 80s, 90s or maybe even the early 2000s and stayed up late at night would have seen this person for sure. It's all horseshit. It's like Teresa Caputo. It's just a big guessing game. You find out people are wrong, you hit them across the head a few times and you tell them to go dance around the room. And of course they're going to do that because they are firm believers in what you are selling or they wouldn't be in the room in the first place. But there are many testimonials online anti testimonials online where people share that they never got healed, they never saw him. Even though they came with real ailments. He never talked to them them because he knew he can't heal real ailments. But he can heal stuff like you know, random neck pain that no one knows about, back pain that you can't see all that other. Bend over, bend over. Show us where the sun don't shine. Let's see that. Let's see those Harry Dingle dangles.

[C]

No more back pain.

[A]

No more back pain. But I did find out I haven't been wiping my ass the correct way for years. So thanks Peter Papa. So what I was interested in doing is what if we called the phone number on the bottom? Yeah, I always Wonder if these 1, 800 numbers are still working. Let's call it now. If, if you're hearing this part of the episode, then obviously it worked. And if you're not, then you're in my server and you shouldn't Be doing that. All right, ready? Let's see here.

[C]

Ready?

[A]

800. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Okay, hold on. Let's see here. See if we can get this to work. Oh, my God.

[B]

Hello? Please don't hang up. I need just a little bit of information in order to root you the miracle spring water that's offered on tv. In order to minister to you, I need just a bit of information. I'll guide you step by step through.

[C]

The E, Social Security number, your credit.

[B]

Card, it you receive Miracle Sprinter without any delay. Here are the instructions.

[A]

Sorry about the shitty audio.

[C]

I can't believe he doesn't have better audio.

[A]

I know this probably hasn't been phone number in 50 years.

[B]

Please spell it. For example, Peter P E T E R. Now don't forget to wait for the be.

[A]

Samuel S A M M U U E L L E. Samuel s u m e e l e e e e. I'm gonna put it on speaker. Samuel s t a m m m u l e. Tell me your last.

[B]

Name and please spell it.

[A]

C c t u t u t t e w l, l, z w.

[B]

Now please tell me your street address or po box number and spell the street name. Name. Don't forget to include your apartment number if you have one.

[A]

Okay, now I'm going to put you on mute while I say this. Okay, now I said the address to the studio.

[B]

Now give me your zip code.

[A]

I gave him the zip code.

[B]

Thank you for providing all the information we need to effectively minister to you. You. Thank you for calling. This is Peter Papa saying God bless you.

[A]

Wait, I don't get a, I don't get a prayer request. I don't get anything.

[C]

No, I just want your address.

[A]

Well, I wonder if they're going to send it to Amuel.

[C]

Well, to be continued.

[A]

I, I, I am fascinated to see if they actually. First of all, they're not going to send it because I think they heard us saying we're in the studio. This is probably like the 12th time a podcast has called them just today. I mean, it's like the thing that I don't want to listen to more of this because it's just depressing. And people, you know, people do have real problems and some of these people probably do have real issues. They're coming to Peter Pop off with it's five years ago that this video was created. Some of these people may not still be around. Oh, yeah, right, because they trusted Peter Popoff's miracle spring water instead of actually going to a goddamn doctor and this is, this piggybacks off something, piggy fronts off something that I wanted to share with you.

[B]

You.

[A]

There is a decreasing belief that therapists can help people and in increasing belief that psychics can. Did you, did you hear about this?

[C]

No, I didn't.

[A]

They did an actual study where they called whatever it was, I don't know how many people around the country. I don't want to give fake numbers even though I do it all the time. They called a bunch of people and they started asking him questions about therapy and whether therapy was an effective way to de stress to handle your issues to get to the bottom. It is like a trusted way is a thousand percent. Not every kind of therapy and not every therapist. There are good therapists and bad therapists and there are therapists that just don't work for you. They like they're not the right fit for you. But I firmly believe that it has helped me work through some shit that was deep, maybe generational, certainly had to do with my life. And listen, I could go to therapy for the rest of my life and probably still be just as much of an asshole as I am today, but at least I feel like I'm working through it, right. So they did, so they asked a series of questions. Then they asked the same series of questions about psychics. And psychics, while they didn't have more, while it wasn't like, you know, the, the psychics didn't win, essentially they weren't, it wasn't, they didn't. More people didn't believe in psychics than believed in therapists. The numbers from this decade, from 2023 as opposed to 22013 had grown even enormously. Like every one in five people believed more in psychics abilities to cure their problems and help them get through life than therapists. And this is in sane psychics, telephone psychics, who is what you're probably going to don't know about you. And they're not going to help you solve your problems. They're going to take a good guess and maybe some of them are really intuitive. Like they understand when they talk to somebody about their problems. They're good advice givers, right? Like a good bartender. But are they actually going to help you get to the bottom, to the root of what's going on with your emotional distress and then help you walk through it? Probably not. 90, I would say 90% of the time not. I have called psychic hotlines way back in the day when I was a kid, just to see what it was.

[C]

It is, you can call, call Psychics.

[A]

There is a very famous. I'm not going to say the, the name on air because it's possible that they are advertising on the show, which is insane. So I'm not going to say the name because they are everywhere now. They are a psychic group and you call them up and they guarantee that if you're, they don't give you life changing information on the first phone call, they'll give you your money back. Which is a pretty damn intense claim to make.

[C]

So you have to give the money first.

[A]

Of course you do. Of course you do. Please, Chrissy. I mean, come on. They're in it for the money. But in my opinion, part of what is driving this are, is the media who then puts these people out there in front on television shows where they clearly know that the psychics have rigged the situation in their favor. Tell me Teresa Caputo doesn't have 14 producers on Lifetime or A and E or wherever she is now. 14 producers that know exactly who somebody is, is what they've gone through. Every Facebook post, every Instagram post, everything. And even if their account is private, they follow them because they're the producers from the show that you're going to get. I mean, think about this. Yeah, right. There are cold readings and there are hot readings. Cold readings are taking big guesses at things that certainly somebody in a crowd of people would have and then narrowing it down and hoping you get some of the, at least half the information correct as you get narrower and narrower on your set of questions. A hot reading is when you already know, know what someone has gone through because you've seen their social media, you know them personally or know someone of them, heard them talking, whatever it is these television stations put on these fly by night psychics and they make them rich as. And people love the shows they get. They're highly rated, they keep going on forever. How long has Theresa Caputa been on tv? Two decades now? I don't know.

[C]

Something like that. Her new show is terrible too.

[A]

Oh, it's terrible. And it's the same show as it was last time. Yeah, she's terrible. The show is terrible. It's a. She's a complete nudnik in my opinion. And if you like Teresa Caputo, I'm sorry that I'm talking not so nicely about a person that you think is awesome, but I just don't believe it. And I feel bad for the people that she interacts with that they are being left with the emotional drama, baggage and damage caused by her pretending that she can talk to someone that they care about on the other side. But this happens. It's not just Theresa Lisa. There are. Oh yeah, probably 15 of these shows with different names and faces and they're all doing the exact same thing. They're lying, that's what they're doing. They're lying to get your attention and your money and popularity. Exactly like the commercial break. But at least we will tell you that that's what we're doing. At least we're honest with you. Do you know what I'm saying?

[C]

Yeah, I mean I there. It might give some people some kind of weird closure or solace. Solace, yeah, exactly. But, but it's. Yeah, it's not, it's not real.

[A]

But no, you know, it's not real. But if you take it as entertainment, like we do like highly entertaining stuff that we can laugh at cuz clearly it's not true then I guess no harm, no foul. But if you are one of the people that comes in, in touch with one of these, whatever that guy's name is, Tyler, the blonde guy who doodles, you know, the other lady who solves murder mysteries and you know, all these different psychics on tv, if you're in their crosshairs, if you're the person on the television show, you must feel an immense amount of pressure to say yes, this is working because there are a bunch of cameras in front of you, first of all. Second of all, there are cases of famous psychics. I say famous psychics with a grain of salt here. Famous psychics who have told people that their children are dead. When they're missing and they're not dead, they show up later, they show up as grown ups, they've been held captive, they were lost, they were taken by an aunt or an uncle and you know, it put in terrible situations. There is one famous psychic, I think she's dead now, her name is Cynthia something and she told someone famously on Montel Williams, the Montel Williams show, she told the parents that their child was dead, that she had seen the child on the other side and is dead and there's no chance of recovery. There's no chance she's coming back. She's dead, she's passed. Well, seven years later the girl was found and the girl was held in captive and she saw the Montel Williams show where she told her parents this is. And, and she said that it. I lost all hope at that moment because I just wish that that lady could actually see me and could actually tell my parents I was alive and that I needed Help. Yeah, but no, the parents. I don't know. I don't know if the parents gave up at that moment. They probably. You probably never stop giving up. Unless, you know. I can't even imagine what kind of terrible thing you must go through. But imagine how terrible for the child who's been kidnapped that. And now some lunatic on Montel Williams is telling her that I'm dead and I'm never coming back. It's just insane to me that we keep pushing these people out front and giving them such, you know, kudos. For what? For nothing. I. Chrissy and I could do a cold reading. Chris, do you know anybody with a foot?

[C]

I do. That's me.

[A]

Oh, it's you. Okay, that's me.

[C]

Crazy man.

[A]

Did you ever get a necklace, a silver necklace for someone that you love or someone that you were thinking of?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Have you ever wear a pair of headphones? I'm seeing headphones.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yes. Your loved one is kicking me in the back of the head, in the ear. That means you've worn headphones before.

[C]

You're nailing it.

[A]

Yes. Chrissy, have you had a cavity? Cavity? You never had a cavity? That's exactly what your loved one told me. You've never had a cavity? You never had a cavity?

[B]

Never.

[A]

Not once.

[C]

I've had one.

[A]

You've had one?

[C]

I went a really long time without having one.

[A]

Yeah, that's what they told me. They said you've read a really long time. Time without having one. That's what they said.

[C]

That's what they're saying?

[A]

Yeah, that's their say. That's what I meant. That's what I meant to say. They were saying, what is it? Your leg? Your back?

[C]

Thank you for this psa.

[A]

Yeah. My point is, Peter Popoff and these psychics, they're all doing the same thing. They are trying to get you to part with your money or become popular or whatever it is on the backs of your misfortune and don't go along with it. If there are true supernatural healers in this world, and I buy supernatural, I mean, things we don't think normally occur in nature. If they're, if they are out there, and I believe there. I believe there might be. I believe there might be people out there who could talk to the dead or heal people or, you know, if there are, they're not going to be on the Arts and Entertainment channel. I damn guarantee you. I guarantee you. Nor are they paying, you know, UPN $300,000 to air their commercials at 2am in the morning. I can guarantee you there's going to be a line around the block just on their own to see them, and they're going to use their powers in the best way they see fit. And it's probably going to be on the down low, on the DL, as the kids say, Chrissy. Because they got the real Riz.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And they don't need your television show. Do you know what I'm saying?

[C]

I know.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Yes, brother.

[A]

Yes. This has been brought. Brian. Brian's bitching. We're gonna do Brian's bitching every Wednesday on the show.

[C]

Just Wednesdays.

[A]

Well, Wednesdays feel like a good day. Well, we usually have guests on Tuesdays. Brian's bitching on Wednesday. We're gonna start doing Chrissy Fridays where Brian just doesn't show up.

[C]

I'll read my nice news.

[A]

Yeah, you can read your nice news. Nice news.

[C]

I do. I get a nice news email.

[A]

I know you like to. You have those blinders on.

[C]

No, I just like to be reminded of Chrissy.

[A]

Did you hear about the terrible bombing in the Houthi Rebels?

[C]

I like a good balance.

[A]

Yeah. She's like, no, I didn't. I'm like, it must be nice that life you live. Well, I appreciate it. I really do. It is a good balance.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Brian. Brian goes into deep, dark holes on the Internet. Chrissy stays right on the surface.

[C]

Yeah. No, I like. If I'm going to hear bad news, I have to balance it with some good news and be reminded that the world is not all bad.

[A]

Well, yeah. Pass me one of those. Every once in a while. I got to get out of the hole. Yeah, that's a good idea. Oh, all right. Speaking of Chrissy Fridays, we'd love to do Ask TCB on a regular basis, but we've decided we want you to ask us directly. We want you to ask us for our advice. Come on the show, tell us an interesting story. You know, get advice from two of the best in the business. Don't go to Peter Pop off. Come to us. Something ails you, let us know, we'll send you for. I got here. I got an old chapstick in my pants. I'll send that to you for a five dollar donation.

[C]

It's the miracle.

[A]

It's a miracle. Miracle chapstick. Yeah, the miracle Vaseline. All right, so if you'd like to be on the show, there's only one way we can do that. You got to let us know. 212-4-3, 3 3. TCB. 212-4333. TCB. Send us a text, let us know you want to ask us something, you need our advice, or you want to tell us a story. And then we will get back to you and let you know how you can do that. Add the commercial break on Instagram, YouTube.com the commercial break and tcbpodcast.com all the audio, all the video, and your free piggy front and sticker. Hit the contact us button and ask for your sticker. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today.

[C]

I think so.

[A]

I love you.

[C]

I love you.

[A]

Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say, and we must.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Goodbye.

[B]

Sam.