PossumLoverBG

Summary

The Commercial Break – "PossumLoverBG" (July 18, 2024)

Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

In this riotous and rambling episode, Bryan and Krissy bring their signature improv-comedy energy to everyday disasters, from spa adventures to pop culture commentary. The centerpiece story is Bryan’s unexpected affection for a baby possum at the local nature center, a sharp reversal from his usual disdain for the critters. Along the way, they riff on Atlanta’s omnipresent weed smell, the hazards of cheap cosmetic procedures, 80s nostalgia, Corey Feldman’s career (and newest song), and the relentless chaos of parenting.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Botox Gone Wrong & Questionable Medical Practices

[02:00–07:23]

• Fake Botox Outbreak: Bryan opens with concern about recent reports of fake Botox causing severe health issues.
  • "Hospitals are sounding the alarm because they're seeing, like, a 7,000% increase in patients who are coming in with some, like, blindness... Some kind of parallelism going on in their face or their arms or legs." (Bryan, 02:48)
• Botox Parties & Shady Providers: They joke about bargain cosmetic work and emphasize the risk.
  • "You can't just be willy-nilly putting poison in your face." (Krissy, 05:26)
• Dental Veneers Horror: Bryan cautions against unqualified veneer techs, especially those ‘certified’ in Atlanta after 4-day classes.

2. Bryan’s Injury & the Spa Adventure

[07:23–26:39]

• Sciatica Saga: Bryan recounts how a daring backflip at the lake led to a painful injury and ‘roid rage’ after treatment.
  • "I knew that this was coming because every time I take steroids, it comes that ugly, weird, testosterone-driven, royal." (Bryan, 08:57)
• Massage Parlor Escapade: Astrid, Bryan’s wife, insists on buying him an extravagant 2.5 hour massage to help his back.
• Masseuse Hijinks:
  • Funny mispronunciation of his name: "It's Ryan with a B." (Bryan, 12:41)
  • Candid behind-the-scenes stories: underwear, “flags flying,” and the realities of professional massage boundaries.
  • "There was a guy in here... he had a flag flying in the room, and he had no underwear on. ... To the point where we had to call him in." (Bryan quoting his masseuse, 17:11)
  • PT/massage add-ons cost extra, sparking a Disney World pricing reference.
• Stinky Atlanta Rant: After the massage, Bryan is overwhelmed by the intense weed smell in the spa.
  • "I came here to smell good candles, not to smell your stanky-ass weed." (Bryan, 20:13)

3. Weed, Atlanta, and Nostalgic Digressions

[19:19–26:39]

• The hosts commiserate about how Atlanta is permeated by marijuana odor, even in unexpected places (massage parlors, delivery drivers, kids’ birthday parties).
• "It's the worst offender of olfactory offenses." (Bryan, 23:04)
• Nostalgia about weak 90s weed vs. today’s potent "diggity dank".
  • "Now we're crack addicts. Now we got to get on the floor and look for the crystals." (Bryan on modern weed habits, 25:01)

4. Corey Feldman Breakdown

[27:19–41:25]

• Corey Feldman's new song "The Joke" prompts a deep-dive into Feldman’s musical career, full of affectionate mockery and bewilderment.
  • "Every live appearance that you watch, ...something happens at a Corey show, and it turns into a total show... trips over a wire, then starts yelling at the sound guy... lost a tooth one time on stage." (Bryan, 29:17)
• The debate: is Corey self-aware and trolling us, or does he take himself seriously?
• Hilarious accounts of trying (and failing) to book him for the podcast due to his pay-to-play requirement.
  • "How much do they pay?" (Bryan, 32:57, mocking Corey’s response)
• Live "review" of Corey’s new single—"straight Warrant, cherry pie," with all the 80s rock neon fashion.
• Corey’s endurance in show business is both ridiculed and, in a warped way, admired.

5. Atlanta Lore: The Chattahoochee, Shoot the Hooch, and Possum Epiphany

[42:20–59:37]

• Shoot the Hooch: The hosts recount the Atlanta rite of passage—rafting down the Chattahoochee—which is more misery than fun in adulthood.
  • "It's a hangover in a box, basically, is what it is." (Bryan, 43:05)
• Nature Center Adventure:
  • Bryan gets “ambushed” into a lengthy tour by an overzealous nature volunteer obsessed with pitcher plants, using every teachable moment to quiz and explain (to Bryan’s mounting exasperation).
  • "I'm not the right person to get excited about the pitcher plant flower. I'm just not." (Bryan, 52:43)
• Possum Encounter:
  • The climax: Bryan, who abhors opossums, melts at the sight of a baby at the nature center.
    • "I got taken by the possum... I took a bunch of pictures. Ah, God damn it. I still don't like the old, old possums. But I'll give it to you." (Bryan, 56:37)
    • "These little possums are cute." (Krissy, 57:02)
• Other rescued animals, like the beaver with a "weird" tail, also feature.

6. Parenting, Modern Day Distractions, and Existential Sighs

• Parenting Struggles: Bryan jokes about running down the clock to bedtime.
• Technology vs. Nature: Despite their adventures, devices still win the battle for the kids’ attention.
  • "Not that they cared. They went right back to the video games and iPads when we got home. But whatever. At least for 10 minutes they were away from it." (Bryan, 59:08)
• Life’s a Wheel: The episode closes with both hosts musing about life’s futility.
  • "It's all a cog in the wheel, Krissy. We're all just cogs in the wheel." (Bryan, 59:26)

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|---------|-------| | 02:48 | Bryan | "Hospitals are sounding the alarm because they're seeing, like, a 7,000% increase... blindness, parallelism going on in their face or their arms or their legs." | | 05:26 | Krissy | "You can't just be willy-nilly putting poison in your face." | | 12:41 | Bryan | "Ryan with a B. What? Okay, all right, got it." | | 17:11 | Bryan (quoting masseuse) | "He had a flag flying in the room, and he had no underwear on... we had to call him in." | | 23:04 | Bryan | "It's the worst offender of olfactory offenses." | | 25:01 | Bryan | "Now we're crack addicts. Now we got to get on the floor and look for the crystals." | | 29:17 | Bryan | "Every live appearance that you watch...something happens at a Corey show, and it turns into a total show..." | | 32:57 | Bryan | "[Corey Feldman asks]: How much do they pay?" | | 43:05 | Bryan | "It's a hangover in a box, basically, is what it is." | | 56:37 | Bryan | "I got taken by the possum. I really did. I got taken by the possum. I took a bunch of pictures...I still don't like the old, old possums. But I'll give it to you." | | 57:02 | Krissy | "These little possums are cute." | | 59:26 | Bryan | "It's all a cog in the wheel, Krissy. We're all just cogs in the wheel." |

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Memorable Moments

• Bryan’s astonished conversion to a possum fan.
• The immersive weed-smell rant about Atlanta, culminating in delivery drivers who reek.
• Hilarious stories of massages gone awry, flying “flags,” and therapists with no filter.
• Doubts about whether Corey Feldman is a master troll or the butt of his own joke – and Krissy’s unexpectedly on-point 80s references.
• Bryan’s vocal exasperation with well-meaning nature volunteers and his family’s indifference to “important” lessons.

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:00–07:23: Botox, fake medical procedures, and dental veneers.
• 07:23–26:39: Sciatica, steroid side effects, and massage parlor stories.
• 19:19–26:39: Atlanta weed smell saga.
• 27:19–41:25: Corey Feldman musical breakdown.
• 42:20–59:37: Chattahoochee adventures, nature center, and the possum epiphany.

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Tone & Language

The tone is classic TCB—irreverent, self-aware, and peppered with expletives and asides. Bryan’s storytelling is boisterous and meandering, while Krissy plays the straight-woman with laid-back, amused retorts. Their friendship and “just fine” vibe shine through with each digression and callback.

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In Summary

This episode delivers a layered mix of relatable chaos, from marijuana-saturated city life and dodgy cosmetic culture to pop culture deep-cuts and awkward animal encounters. Whether you’re here for the Corey Feldman takedown, the sauna-side weed rants, or Bryan’s shocking turn as a possum lover, the Commercial Break’s particular blend of improv and banter assures a wild, laugh-filled ride.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

I'm a very romantic person. I love to be in love when I can. And I sincerely believe in the hope there's someone out there for everybody. The more I date, the more I realize that my person died at birth or something. I don't know. On this episode of the commercial break, I got taken by the possum. I really did. I got taken by the possum. I took a bunch of pictures. I was like, ah, God damn it. I still don't like the old, old possums. But I'll give it to you.

[Chrissy]

These little possums are cute.

[Brian Green]

If they're little and they have been bathed by the people at the nature center, then they're kind of cute and they're feeding them like carrots and not my daughter's dirty diaper, then, you know, then they're kind of cute. I will give it that. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the throat lodging to my tea, Chris and Joy H. Best to you, Chris.

[Chrissy]

Best to you, Brian, and best to.

[Brian Green]

You out there in the podcast universe. Oh, you sound much better now.

[Chrissy]

I do, yes.

[Brian Green]

Why don't you do that before?

[Chrissy]

Forgot I had those.

[Brian Green]

Man. We could have gone through a whole episode without you having that gravelly voice. But I like it. Asher thinks the smoky voice is. Is. Is good.

[Chrissy]

It can be, yeah.

[Brian Green]

She thinks our daughter might have a gravelly voice. So I asked her. It goes, do you think that yada yada has a. Has a gravelly voice? And I go, yeah, I could see that. You know, she's always crying. That's it. And she goes, oh, I hope so. And I'm like, well, geez, wish that upon. Because sometimes it sounds like you're straining, like Miley. Miley sounds out. Sometimes it sounds like she's straining to talk. Right. And you see all those. Those muscles in her throat. But she's also a singer, so maybe that's part of the allure. It is, yes. Take care of your voice. Okay? So for the rest of the episode, Chrissy will not be hurt. Just to let everybody know, I. I've got a little cough, a little cold. She's brought coronavirus into the house. It's norovirus. We're all gonna die. She has anthrax. Before I get to this. Speaking of anthrax, did you. Speaking of anthrax, do you hear about all these, like, the hospitals are seeing record numbers of botox patients with actual, like, botulism? Going on. Like they're, you know, paralysis and heart problems.

[Chrissy]

Well, I read about something a little while back where there was fake Botox going around.

[Brian Green]

A lot of it apparently, because like, this is a nationwide pro, really probably a worldwide problem, but it's a nationwide problem right now. And hospitals are sounding the alarm because they're seeing like a 7,000% increase in patients who are coming in with some like blindness para, you know, some kind of parallelism going on in their face or their arms or their legs. Heart problems, you know, infections, all kinds of stuff.

[Chrissy]

Dangerous.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, there's apparently a really bad batch of botulism going around when you do that Botox and they're going to like these Botox parties, right, where they have the quote, unquote botox doctor, you know, who's not even certified in shit. You know, they go to a two day class. It's like that class we were talking about where someone was taking a class to do dental work. Like complicated dental work, like putting in veneers, right? They were veneer technician. When you get veneers, in case anybody. Before you get veneers, before you think about going do your homework before you think about going to a veneer technician or any veneer doctor of any sort or any brand, I highly recommend that you think about an oral surgeon or someone that has gone to school for more than two days to do this. You do your homework online and you take a look at the very insane reality of getting veneers, which includes shaving your real teeth down to nubs. And if you want a scary thing to look at, look at someone who is about to get veneers that has had their teeth shaved down. It is insane. Listen, my son is currently getting veneers on his teeth right now. That's why you can hear him. But that is insane. No one who has not been to medical school should be doing that procedure at all. So many complications can happen. And just the fact that you have to shave your teeth down is like, you don't want somebody fucking that shit up. You're going to get veneers. Do it right, because then look at the people who went to the veneer technician to get veneers. Literally looks like they have white carpool. It is illegal. And this all started right here. Here in our beautiful, lovely hometown of Atlanta, Georgia. There's like a guy who became infamous on the Internet for, you know, come to my four day veneer class and you'll be a veneer technician. And then there's other people who went to that class and like now are set up in the back of someone's home.

[Chrissy]

Don't go.

[Brian Green]

Don't do that. Yeah, no, no, no, no. So Botox, probably the same thing. You probably want to go to a dermatologist because you have to know how to do that, where to put it, and you have to get it from a legit source. You can't just be gonna be willy.

[Chrissy]

Nilly putting poison in your face.

[Brian Green]

No. God, you can't get like, you know, boat, a discount Botox from Namibia or wherever, whatever country in the world is selling this shit and then expect that everything's going to turn out fine to save yourself 20 bucks. I mean, that's just ridiculous. If you're going to get Botox, and I realize a lot of people get Botox, I'm not against it. God bless you. Go do it. See how it works out. But just go to a dermatologist. That's all I'm saying. It's not about the Botox. It's about getting the Botox from the actual Botox company who sells Botox. If you're gonna. And there are cheaper alternatives to Botox too. You don't have to get like Juvederm and some other brands or something like that. I think so anyway. You can get like. There's discount Botox that goes through the doctor. They buy it from a medical facility and not ant, you know, jeans, Botox, soup kitchen. Yeah, man. Speaking of home remedies and taking care of yourself. So I don't know when it was a couple weeks ago, I went to my dad's house and, you know, he's got that lake with that, you know, where I. I caught my own version of botulism. And. Yeah, I know. I was so sick. I'm still not feeling 100%. Yeah, I'm still like, real. I'm eating carefully because I found out the hard way that, you know, my tummy's not ready for it. Anyway, so the trip before that, I had gone a couple of weeks previous to that to my dad's house. And he's got the lake and he's got the dock and he's got a cove so you can jump out into the water safely and all this other stuff. And the kids and I were playing and they were having a lot of fun watching me jump off things like, dad, jump over me, you know, oh, dad, jump into the inner tube. Oh, dad, throw me off the dock. And then I have this, like one trick that I know how to do in the pool, which is I can do a back dive so I can turn myself backwards and I can flip over into the water and land like a dive. So it's like a dive with a twist, so to speak.

[Chrissy]

That's a little specialty that you got there. I don't think I've seen that.

[Brian Green]

Well, I'll show it to you. 20 years ago if we ever get that time machine going. Because I think having, like, look back on it now, piecing it together, I think that very trick, which I was so pleased that I could still do that my old bones would actually allow that to happen, that very trick may have landed me with a very serious case of sciatica. Like, I herniated my disc again, or I bulge jet, or whatever you want to call it.

[Chrissy]

Oh, God.

[Brian Green]

And so I started feeling this new pain on a new side. Like, I've been dealing with back issues since I worked at the restaurant industry. You know, you carry heavy things. You stand on your feet all day.

[Chrissy]

You're stay up for three days.

[Brian Green]

Stay up for three days. That's right. No sitting allowed. You just like pace the house back and forth. But, you know, and then you have the kids and you cock your hip to one side, you know, hold them and they get bigger. They don't care. They still want to be on your hip and. Yeah, just listen to them right now. What is going on out there? It's like a zoo. It's like a zoo. Hey, kids, Daddy's trying to work. Thanks. P.S. thanks. So I got like this really bad case of sciatica. I believe I herniated. I went to the doctor. You know, the. I told you I was on steroids. It gave me roid rage. I was all out of control. And I do remember the Roy. Oh, my God, Chrissy. One day I was just out of control. I was yelling at everything. I was out of control. And I knew that this was coming because every time I take steroids, it comes that ugly, weird, testosterone driven, royal.

[Chrissy]

Hormones are a real thing.

[Brian Green]

They're a real thing.

[Chrissy]

They really do make you feel differently.

[Brian Green]

They do. And I think the older I get, the more sensitive I am to all medications, but especially medications that like, affect your brain system. I mean, just like, you know, steroids, painkillers, you know, Xanax or whatever. I don't.

[Chrissy]

At least you don't get that steady flow of hormones every single month.

[Brian Green]

I do. Her name is Astrid.

[Chrissy]

And Chrissy.

[Brian Green]

And Chrissy. I got two and I'll soon have five. I've also got Blue. I think she's giving More testosterone than anything, but whatever. You get the point. So I go and I decide I'm gonna get a mahaz. I'm gonna go get a mahaj. Or Astrid wakes up one day and she says, you have got to go to the massage place. You got to go to the. Whatever they call that.

[Chrissy]

The masseuse.

[Brian Green]

The masseuse.

[Chrissy]

The massage parlor.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, the massage parlor.

[Chrissy]

The day spa.

[Brian Green]

The day spa. The spa. That's what I was looking. I was looking for. So go to the massage parlor. Get yourself. Go to the spa. Get yourself a massage. But you need a rub down, a little rub up, a little rub down. You need a real massage, though. That's what she's telling me. She's had enough. Everyone's had enough of Brian being miserable. Understandably. Right? I know when Astor does stuff like this, it's like, brian, cool your jets. Rev down. Okay. You're a little being a real bear right now. It's like when I was sick and she's like, go to the doctor and do it now. I'm taking the children. I'm giving you the keys to the car. Go to the or. I'll drive you there and drop you off one of the two. So she sets me up with not a one hour, not a two hour, but almost a three hour massage. Like a two and a half hour massage. Right. The longest kind of massage that they have. Great. I'm.

[Chrissy]

You're out of the house.

[Brian Green]

I'm out of the house.

[Chrissy]

Rubbed down.

[Brian Green]

No one can find me. My phone is off in a locker somewhere. I. I can't be bothered. I just, you know, when first she said it, I'm like, this is so frivolous. We don't need to spend all that money because they're expensive.

[Chrissy]

They are.

[Brian Green]

Two and a half hour massage is not cheap at the place that we go to. And so. But I also understood that I really did need some relief. I wasn't feeling well. And I go. I'm. I go like three hours early, right? I'm like, oh, as they told me, the thing is, at like 6 o', clock, I leave the house at like 4. I'm like, oh, they told me to be there two hours early. You have to be there an hour for every hour you get early. So I go and, you know, I'm in the room and the, you know, you go and you get the locker and you change and then you go into the waiting room. And the waiting room is lovely. And cucumber water and that whole nine yards. And they don't Allow phones in there. See, you're in here. You are in a robe with your, you know, meats and potatoes hanging out, depending on what level of undress you want to get. And mainly women in the room, but I don't give two shits.

[Chrissy]

Oh, no.

[Brian Green]

I'm like, what? I've been to enough spas to know that I don't give two shits. And of course, there's men in there also, but just main. Mainly women sitting around a fire. It's 370 degrees outside in Atlanta, but there's a fire going, and somehow you need it somehow. That's great. You're like. And I'm just, like, profusely sweating. But whatever. I'm in this heavy robe with sandals and. And so the masseuse comes, opens the door to the room and says, brian. And I'm like, I think I told you this story. Yeah, she had. She said my name wrong. Did I tell you that? She goes in and she says, ryan, Ryan, Ryan. And I don't think. I mean, I think about it for a second, but I don't. It's also a room full of people, and everyone's quiet. And I don't get br. I'm like, halfway across the room. So I just let her go. And then she comes back in in a couple minutes, and she goes, it's Ryan with a B. But Ryan. And I was like, oh, that's me.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Ryan with a B. What? Okay, all right, got it.

[Chrissy]

You just start spelling your name like that when you tell people.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God, Chrissy.

[Chrissy]

So Ryan with a B.

[Brian Green]

It's Ryan with a B. So it's Brian. Actually. That's not bad. Ryan with a B. I'm Put that on my email signature Brian with a B. So I go. So, you know, she introduces herself. Very pleasant lady. How do I say this? Politely without offending. Big boned, big lady, you know, Big lady. Probably a little bit shorter than him. Exactly. No, I'm not afraid. I don't care what you look like as long as you. As long as you're good with your hands. I don't give a shit what you look like, because I won't see you. I'm gonna have my head buried in. I'm gonna be staring into the floor for the next three hours. So they literally. This place is huge. And she literally. We turn, like, seven different corners, and I am in the way, way, way, way, way, way back. I never been to this part of the building before. Way in the back. She opens the door. It's Huge. It's got a bathtub in it. It had a bathtub, like a. Like a stand, Like a standalone bathtub with the, you know, gold feet and the whole nine yards.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I thought, oh, is this the room where it all goes down? This is like the special room. Three hour massage is like code word for, you know, getting a bad happy ending. A little.

[Chrissy]

Little bath time, too.

[Brian Green]

It actually made me nervous there for a second. So I said, what's the bath for? And she goes, oh, we have a service where you take a bath and, you know, we put Epsom salts and we do your thing. And I was like, do my thing? What's that? I don't know. So she says, hey, like any good masseuse would. Hey, any particular reason why you're here today? Right, I see you've got the two and a half hour long massage. Do you know any particular reason why you're here? I said, yeah, actually, I've been having this really bad lower back pain. It's in my glutes, it's in my butt, it's in my thigh, it's down in my leg. You know, it's really running down the right side of my body, and it's making me miserable. And I. I've tried everything. I've stretched it, I've yoga walked, running. Nothing's seeming to help, you know, not Advil, steroids, nothing. And she says, oh, I am actually a certified OT. Like, I'm a certified OT and sports medicine specialist as well as a masseuse.

[Chrissy]

Occupational therapist. Is that what that is?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, P.T. i'm sorry? P.T. physical therapist. I'm a P.T. you know, sports medicine specialist.

[Chrissy]

Blah, blah, perfect.

[Brian Green]

And she goes, so when people come in here, like athletes and stuff, you know, that I'm one of the people that they call to, you know, work it out. And I was like, okay, this sounds.

[Chrissy]

Fantastic in good hands.

[Brian Green]

And she goes, for an extra 50 bucks. And I'm like, oh, here we go. The big sales pitch. You know, for an extra 50 bucks, we'll put some fake CBD oil on your ass and rub it in, pretending that it does anything.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I'm like. She goes, for, you know, for an extra 30 bucks or whatever it is, I will. I'll do some PT on, like, I'll do some massaging of your I. T. Band. We'll get in there, we'll do some stretching. She goes, I think I can really help you with this.

[Chrissy]

It seems like it should have been included, but whatever.

[Brian Green]

I know for like $16,000 you think you would get the thirty dollar stretch too? You can't stretch me a little bit while we're back there. But okay, whatever. It's a business. I understand. They're gonna get, it's like, you know, a spa is like Disney World. They're going to add everything on. Okay. I said, well, listen, why don't we just like get started and then, you know, if I think that if, if I think that's needed, then, then we'll go there. Well, instantaneous. She's like, okay, I want you to lay down. Usually I'd start face up, but I just want you to lay down and we're going to get there. And I was like, okay, sounds good. And so she starts off by like instantaneously working that leg, right? And she's like working the leg and she's moving it in different and weird ways than a masseuse would. It's not like a regular massage. And she starts putting her fingers on pressure points and then she's like moving her way up my leg, like toward my glutes. And she's like, can I just grab your underwear and pull it down? And she's like, so I can really get into the glutes.

[Chrissy]

Are you in underwear?

[Brian Green]

I do go underwear.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

And this is what I told her because it was a little chatty at first, right? And she told me too. She's like, when I'm working, stretching out and stuff, I'm going to be a little chatty just because I need you to, I need you to help me out with some of these stretches. And she goes, but then I'll let settle down to let you relax for the last half. And I said, okay, that's fair. And I said. And she, and I said, yeah, you know what? Whatever, whatever.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, you're the expert.

[Brian Green]

I said, nine times out of ten I go with underwear because I want, I want somebody on the other side to feel a level of comfort. I'm not. I don't want to be that creepy guy who shows up.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I can understand that. I go nude, but I think that's.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I think that's different. And so she said. And that's. And here's what she says. She goes, I think most guys assume that we would prefer to have your underwear on, but the truth is if we're going to do work, like it gets in the way and we don't want to get like oil all over your clothes. And. And she goes, just kind of becomes messy and weird. And she said, also, we've Seen it all. I mean, you know, we see it all. She's like, I see guys. And she was telling me a story. She's like, I see. It was a guy in here about a month and a half ago, and he. He had a flat. He was like in his 70s, and he had a flag flying in the room, and he had no underwear on. And she was like, he was showing everybody. I don't think on purpose, but he was, like, showing everybody. Yeah. To the point where we had to call him in. Like, he was here half an hour early. We actually got the masseuse. We got another masseuse to, like, call him in so that we could get him out of the waiting room. I was like, whoa.

[Chrissy]

He had it in the waiting room?

[Brian Green]

He had it in the waiting room. And then she said, you know, I ended up.

[Chrissy]

He was really ready.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And she goes. In the weirdest of circumstances, which never happens, he was my client. So I had to go in there 15 minutes into the massage, and she goes. And that flag was flying the entire time. And she's like. And listen, okay, what are you going to do? She's like, he wasn't, like, creepy. He just maybe took his Viagra and things were happening. I don't know. You know, he took Cialis and there he was. And I was like, oh, wow. And she's like, we have seen it all. Don't worry about it. Right? And I was like, okay, well, you're not worried about it. I'm not worried about it. I am telling you what, Chrissy, this lady, she was doing magic. She was, like, pulling my leg to the left, pushing it to the right, putting her knee into my. Into my glute. She was doing this stretch where she, like, pulled my leg up, put her elbow in my glute, yanked it up, and she was doing all kinds of stuff that at the moment, may not have been the most comfortable thing in the world, but, man, did it fix my back. Like, the next day. I felt like a million bucks. But here's the point of the story. The point of the story is this. Remember how we talk about. Atlanta is like the weed smell capital of the world. Like, everywhere in Atlanta, it smells like weed. It smells like weed. You go be 90 miles per hour.

[Chrissy]

Driving down the highway.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And you crack your way so you don't even crack your window. It's like all of a sudden, your car smells like weed. Yeah. You're like, who's in the car is smoking weed? It's no one. It's just that's just the way it smells in Atlanta. I guess someone in Atlanta is just burning a lot of weed all the time. Well, when I got there and I walked into the waiting room, there was a guy. And you could tell this was the kind of guy who would be smoking weed. And the entire room smelled so strongly of fucking diggity dank. It was dank dank, dank, dank dank. Like the. I don't know, like he had permeated him. Yes. He had bathed in dabs, you know what I'm saying? He had literally dabbed himself, his whole body. Like he was. It was like.

[Chrissy]

It was a perfect, really relaxed for the massage.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God, Percy. And I don't know why, but I found it irritating. I was like, I came here to smell good candles, not to smell your stanky ass weed. The least you could do is shower up before you get in here. You know they have seven showers in there. There's a reason for it. Go in there. But the other part is, is that when I got the smell permeated the entire place. It was obviously coming from this one man. He was ground zero for the smell, but it permeated the entire place. The entire place smelled like weed. And when I got in there. So here she is, like stretching me out, you know, hand in my glutes and all this other stuff. And I can still smell the weed. Even after she's rubbed that damn oil all over my body, you know, the eucalyptus shit. I can still smell the weed while I'm have my. Like I'm face down. So I'm like, do you smell weed? And she goes, no. She goes. She goes, well, I don't know. Did you smoke some? I go, no, I just. I think there was someone in the waiting room. I think he might have got a little over puffed before he came in. And you know, just smells like weed to me. And then she's like, I don't know. I'm so used to all these smells around here. She's like, I'm kind of like sensitive to it.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And so I was like. I smelled it throughout the entire building. I swear I can smell in here. So I can hear her. She goes, well, hold on one second. I can hear her as she goes and cracks the door. And she can hear her go. She's like, oh, yeah, yeah. Wow. And she goes, do you think that was one guy? And I go, it was one guy. One dude fucking rolling a J before he walks in the door. One guy hot. Boxing it out in the parking Lot.

[Chrissy]

I know. I've told you, I've heard. I've smelt the same thing. Like when we have drivers that deliver food or whatever. Yes, I'll open the door. I'm like, whoa.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And then your whole house smells like weed. We had a kids birthday party here over the weekend. Kids birthday party out by the pool. Okay. Which, by the way, is a stressful event. I, I highly.

[Chrissy]

I mean, I bet it was.

[Brian Green]

If you're going to do it, hire a lifeguard. That's what we did. And it just, it de stressed, but not all the way de stressed, just mostly de stressed. But there was one person who visited who I think probably had, you know, smoke and not the, like, usual suspects. Like, there are people that I know. This was someone I wasn't too familiar with walked in and he just like. And he also had children with him. And I was like, damn, dude. Really? You're token in the car. What is this? Daisy confused. What are you doing? But then, like, the whole pool area, I could smell it. I was like, Damn, dude. Really? 900 degrees outside, hot dogs cooking on the grill, kids farting and shitting all over the place, dirty diapers. I don't know, the whole thing. Just had my grass cut. You know, there are so many things that, that could cover up the smell, but no, the weed always permeates. It's the worst.

[Chrissy]

It does.

[Brian Green]

It's the worst offender of olfactory offenses. It just is. I don't know why every time I watch that Bill Maher podcast, I think, man, his whole neighborhood must smell because Bill's downstairs just tokin it up the entire time.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Which is crazy to me. I don't know why. Why? Why is weed the one that cuts through everything?

[Chrissy]

It is very distinctive.

[Brian Green]

Oh, Chrissy. It drives me crazy.

[Chrissy]

I think we might just be so used to not really smelling it like we do now, too, that then you can really true. It kind of hits you different. You're like, that is weed.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I mean, when you go to LA or Colorado or one of the many millions of places now it's decriminalized or.

[Chrissy]

It doesn't smell like this doesn't smell like weed.

[Brian Green]

I went to Vegas and I went inside a weed shop where I had to go like through three airlocks and it did not smell like weed. Even when the guy was showing us the weed, it didn't smell like weed. I know, but, you know, go to Atlanta, go to a massage, go to a spa, the nicest spa in town. One takes one hit off his Pong before he walks in. And the whole place smells like weed. For the next three days. I'm not sure which is worse, the kids puking in the car or that weed smell, because neither of them get out of there very.

[Chrissy]

I think I take the weed smell.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All day long. I'm not. Listen, on some occasions, like, weed smells. I know what weed smells like. I've been smoked, you know, smoked it for a long time. Smoked it at a young age. I know what really bad weed smells like. I know what really good weed smells like. Maybe it's just I grew up in a time when weed was not really weed. It was just, like, literally a weed that you would dry and smoke, and it didn't really smell like anything because there was no potency to it whatsoever.

[Chrissy]

Now everything's very.

[Brian Green]

Now everything's super potent. It's all that diggity dang. Look at the crystals falling off. Shake the crystals.

[Chrissy]

The crystal shake. Save the crystals in the bag.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, save them in the bag. Oh, dude, you dropped the crystal. Oh, now we're crack addicts. Now we got to get on the floor and look for the crystals.

[Chrissy]

I remember the crystals from the bag.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God, yes. Such a. So, so annoying. And I have some friends that are those friends. Save the Christus. If you got any empty bags, give me a. Save the crystals. Oh, really? What are you gonna do with it? I'm gonna make dabs. You're gonna make dabs? Okay. God bless you. I remember that one of my friends, he bought, like, a little thing of the crystals.

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

You know, and he would, like, sprinkle it on top. And this is when I was. I was nowhere near weed smoking. I was like, I'm done. Like, this just makes me paranoid and sick to my stomach. And he was just like, sprinkle them on top of joints, sprinkle them on the bowl, sprinkle them on bong hits. And I would. Yeah. How do you function?

[Chrissy]

Some people are different. I really are.

[Brian Green]

They're built different.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, it is.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Conjunction junction. What's your function?

[Chrissy]

It is.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. I mean, some people like it strong and every day, multiple times a day.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

And they do. They function.

[Brian Green]

But not me. I'm too paranoid to eat. I'm hungry. But I'm too paranoid to let anyone come to my front door to deliver it. I'm no good. I don't like watching TV because it makes me. I'm afraid I'm gonna see something that's gonna paranoid me. Like a guy in jail and be like, I'm gonna go to jail. Oh, okay. Let's take a break and we'll talk more about Stinky Stinky Atlanta when we get back. Dank dank, dink tank atl.

[Podcast Announcer]

What's up, haters? Now let's get down to business. If you've got something to say, say it to our faces. And by that I mean text us or call us at 212-4333, tcb. That's 21243 3822. You can and should also find us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok CB podcast. Unless you want to fight me, in which case don't. And if you're just desperate to see our shining faces in person, keep your ears peeled for ticketing information about TCV Live. As always, don't forget that you can find everything you could possibly need to find on our beautiful website, tcvpodcast.com.

[Brian Green]

Bye. Speaking of Smokey, did you Corey Feldman has a new song.

[Chrissy]

Really?

[Brian Green]

Oh, yes. Would you like to hear it? I know you would. I don't know what to think of Corey. Let's talk about Corey for a minute. We did a Corey Feldman breakdown video one time. This is like years ago. And we did like a retrospective. I kind of took you through his life. It was like a two parter, right? Okay, maybe it wasn't the most well planned thing in the world. And I did bust on Corey pretty hard because he was like begging for money to make his 12th studio album, which millions of people really wanted. But the record companies were holding him down and you know, people in Hollywood wanted to see him fail and all this other stuff. Maybe, maybe Corey, maybe, I don't know. He is selling out lots and lots of shows at very small venues, but lots and lots of shows. But I think the jokes on him and I'm not, I'm not always sure he's in on the joke. Actually, I don't think he's in on the joke, but it's hard to tell sometimes. Is Corey the biggest troll that has ever lived? And is he trolling us all with really bad music and selling out shows and making a living? But he knows it, you know what I'm saying? Like, I know this is the gig, this is my lot in life. I am going to be that guy that everyone laughs at because it seems like every live appearance that you watch court just go like go to YouTube and do Corey Feldman live and you're going to see everyone records his shows because Inevitably, something happens at a Corey show, and it turns into a total show. Like the time he was at Lollapalooza on, like, a side stage, and everyone, the bassist was trying to get him to say, you know, he's the king, the comeback king he's the king, the comeback king Here come the king, the king come back, king he was trying to get the crowd to do it, but no one was doing it, you know. But this went on for, like, five minutes. See, this bassist was singing acapella. He's the king, the comeback king Here come the king, the comeback king and.

[Chrissy]

Nobody was doing in the audience.

[Brian Green]

No one, not a person was singing it. Right. And then Corey comes out, trips over a wire, then starts yelling at the sound guy, and then tells him to start over. He lost a tooth one time on stage. Stop the show to look for his tooth. Everybody look for my tooth. I mean, come on. Really? Really? He yells at drummers. He starts sh. He starts songs over all the time. His show, his live show includes, you know, whatever people are in his band. I'm assuming they set up their own gear. And then an inflatable screen, you know, the kind you see at, like, a local park when they're gonna do, you know, movies in the park for the kids. But it's like 8 foot by 8 foot. It's not very impressive. And he's playing, like, his intro video is, like seven and a half minutes long. And it's, you know, it's got operatic music, and it's got Corey, you know, in the movies. And then, you know, they said he was down, but now he's back.

[Chrissy]

What?

[Brian Green]

Corey Feldman's been counted out so many times. Every time he lands on top, he's the comeback. But then it goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on until he finally shows up on stage. Something gets wrecked. So I'm not, you know, this all started. No one would have given a. About Corey and his music or whether or not it was good or bad until he did that Good Morning America, NBC Today, or whatever it was.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

When he had the Angels and he was, like, doing that weird, like, hand movements.

[Chrissy]

It was bad.

[Brian Green]

It was terrible. But it really goes back way further than that. Even when he was popular as a movie star, he showed up at the Howard Stern birthday show one time. I know everybody has seen the reel on Instagram of Corey, you know, singing and dancing. Like, Michael Jackson was like, a small person in the corner with coconuts on his head, like, doing this dance. And then Howard Stern is dressed up like a. I don't know what he's dressed up like. He's got a bald cap, his ass is hanging out. I mean, it's been a joke since day one. Is it real or is it not real is the question, Chrissy. That's the question I have for you and for everybody else. Anybody has any insight on this, I'd love to. I'd love if someone from the tour would just explain whether or not Corey is actually doing a bit. Are we all getting laughed at by him or are we all laughing at him? Either way, you gotta applaud the guy for continuing to get out there and do.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I mean, I think it's. People are going to see him for a novelty.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

And I think he just is a novelty. I think he's maybe trying to be serious, but it's not working out. But what he's doing is. Is working. And so he just keeps doing some. The same.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I think if you find a formula that works, stick with it. Why would you do anything different if you're selling out the shows?

[Chrissy]

Exactly. Keep doing that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And I. And I will share this. And this is true. When Chrissy and I started to make, you know, an intern, we started having internal dialogue about having guests. Okay, maybe now's the time. Let's have guests. And we had our agency start reaching out. I had. We had just done the Corey retrospective. That's what you call. I'm not A and E. I don't know. I'm not VH1 storyteller. But. But we.

[Chrissy]

Where are they now?

[Brian Green]

Where are they now? We were putting that. When I was putting that together, I said, wouldn't it be great to cap this all off with a Corey interview? So I said, why don't you reach out? I was also trying to think about anybody who would come on the show who might actually agree to come on the commercial break. And so I said, reach out to Corey. And they did. And he responded, how much do they pay? Right.

[Chrissy]

It's all about money.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And so our agency smartly said to me, I wouldn't do this, but he's asking how much you would pay. And I said, how about we put them in front of our tens of tens of listeners and maybe they show up at a show or buy an album, and then that would be good compensation for coming on the show. They. They responded. And then there was like, no, you have to pay us this much money. And that dollar amount was not impressive. But I refused to do it. I'm Like I'm not paying guests, I'm just not doing. Yeah, it's a bad precedent to set. And I don't care that much that I'm going to be willing to depart, you know?

[Chrissy]

Right.

[Brian Green]

$10.

[Chrissy]

No, we don't need to do that.

[Brian Green]

So let's all marvel at Corey's brand new song, the Truth I get. Oh, the joke. Excuse me? It's called the joke. Are you ready?

[Chrissy]

Oh, well, I mean, that's kind of telling.

[Brian Green]

Yes, it is, Chrissy. Let's get into it here. I'm gonna play it. I'm gonna play it on. On my phone so as not to, you know, have AI flag it. Well, I think we heard enough of that. I mean, I don't even know what to say to that. No, that is straight warrant. Cherry pie is what that reminds me of. She's my cherry pie.

[Chrissy]

Definitely like 80s rock influence on that.

[Brian Green]

Corey lost a tooth. Now I'm looking with my eyes.

[Chrissy]

I couldn't even hear what he was saying. I've been doing this for 30 years.

[Brian Green]

Doing this for 30 years.

[Chrissy]

I. You think I smile but I cry. Is that right?

[Brian Green]

I think it's. You think I cry? I think, yeah. You want me to cry but I smile or I smile but you want me to cry or something like that? I don't know. You gotta love the guy's tenacity. He's also wearing lipstick in the video. And everyone's. Everyone is wearing 80s neon.

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah, there's the definite 80s influence look.

[Brian Green]

They're all wearing 80s neon workout gear. Yeah, I. You okay over there?

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my gosh. Poor Chrissy.

[Chrissy]

I know. I'll get a little cough.

[Brian Green]

Why don't you take the day off? I should. You should have just called me. I probably would have forced you to come in anyway. I would have been like, hey.

[Chrissy]

No, it was. I didn't think it was that bad. I took some Mucinex and some cough drops. But when you're on the spot, on the microphone.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. No, no, it's. It's amplified by a thousand. It really is. It's very tough. I've done it before and I know. I feel for you. I really do.

[Chrissy]

Well, I mean, it might go right along though, with Corey's song.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. How terrible is that? I mean, just terrible. I mean, he's got a whole catalog of songs that. They're not my style. I. I don't know any.

[Chrissy]

I guess he's got money to pay people to be part of his band.

[Brian Green]

I think that if I had to imagine the Corey Feldman story. And this is Brian's imagination. So this is not true or factual in any way, shape or form. Because I don't want to, you know, I don't want anybody to get litigious with me. I'm not trying to slander anybody.

[Chrissy]

Litigious.

[Brian Green]

But if I had to imagine the Corey Feldman story, it goes like this kid actor sees a lot of fame right off the bat, right. He's in a couple of movies that do very well. He's universally applauded for his work in such movies as Lost Boys. What's that other one he did?

[Chrissy]

Goonies.

[Brian Green]

Goonies. But the first one that he did, like where they go on. Yeah, okay. Tons of 80s movies anyway. And he sees an influx of cash. He or his parents somehow run out of that cash at some.

[Chrissy]

He becomes friends with Michael Jackson.

[Brian Green]

He did. He was friendly with Michael Jackson, I think, very early on in his career too. And I think he was friends with Michael until the day that Michael died, if I'm not mistaken, and claims that Michael never did anything on tawdry or weird around him. At least that's Corey's claim. But then he's friends with Corey Haim. They do a couple of clunkers. You know, the movies, as the 90s start to round out and people get a little bit more rough around the edges and grunge comes in. The Feldman's just the. The Corey's just aren't what they used to be. It's not, you know, no one's seeking them to come do a movie. So at 50 years old or 55 years old or however old he is, he's not a movie star anymore necessarily.

[Chrissy]

No.

[Brian Green]

He's got to do something. And as his life's passion, having been friends with Michael and having been having done this since he was famous as a movie star, he decides to lean on the music. That's what he wants to do for the rest of his life. That's going to be his career. And so he's just doing it the way he knows how. He's got a little bit of notoriety, a little bit of infamy and. And fame. And he goes out there and he tries to make the best of it. And he's probably touring in the back of the van of a van like a lot of people are.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You know what I'm saying? And so I guess from that angle, I do appreciate where Corey is trying to make the best of a situation. It's just terrible music. It's just terrible music. And Terrible live performances that everyone wants to go see. It is a novelty. It's like you gotta go watch the train. Right. If you can. And. And listen, to be fair, if Corey came into Atlanta and I could get a ticket for a reasonable price, I would be there in a heartbeat. Don't know if I'd be allowed in, but I would definitely go see him for sure. Why? Because I also want to see the train wreck. I'm also human. I want to see what happens.

[Chrissy]

Curious.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I want to see if he loses a teeth. And who doesn't want to chant? Here we come, the comeback king. Here we come, the comeback king.

[Chrissy]

You could be the one chanting.

[Brian Green]

I would be the one chanting. Yeah. I'd want to get everyone riled up. You know, if we're gonna go to.

[Chrissy]

A Corey running around.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, let's. Yeah, come on. It's Corey Feldman. Who doesn't want this guy at your party? Oh, good old Corey Feldman. Anyway, new music out from Corey, if you want to check that out. I don't know where can find it, but I found it on YouTube.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

YouTube. Yeah. I'm the first.

[Chrissy]

Is he on Spotify?

[Brian Green]

It can't be on Spotify. Do you mat. Well, I guess you. Anybody can put their music on Spotify, huh?

[Chrissy]

I guess so.

[Brian Green]

Let's check this out real quick, because while we're bashing the guy, we might as well. You know Corey Feldman. Oh, yeah, he is. He's on there on Spotify.

[Chrissy]

Artists follow him.

[Brian Green]

You can follow him. 13,000 monthly listeners. I think that's about how many the commercial break has on Spotify. So there you go. I think he's currently on tour with Limp Bizkit.

[Chrissy]

Oh, God. I mean, the Limp Biscuit is everywhere.

[Brian Green]

Limp Bizkit is. Yeah. Again, not my style of music, but they have really made a comeback. And Fred Durst with that mop of gray hair, I mean, he is. He is like the grand papa of new metal. And he is doing well. I mean, Fred Durst, if I have to say this about Fred, never my favorite music. I just wasn't into it. It's not my style. But I never considered him a dumb person. Like, when you would see him on interviews and stuff, he seemed like he had his wits about him. And I imagine that Fred knew, wait long enough and everything back around becomes new again. Do you know what I'm saying? And so he waited long enough. And here they are. They're back. Him and. Is it Buckethead? Buckethead. Him and Buckethead back together. Turn around. And the crowds Are eating it up. Tens of thousands of people at these shows just bouncing up and down. Yeah, give me something to break. I did it all for the nookie. What? Dunkie. What? All right, let's take a break and we'll be back. Hi.

[Podcast Announcer]

No, you're not dreaming. And yes, this is a new promo. See, I made you wait and now look how happy you are. I know, I know you're smiling. Anyway, since we're here, why don't you just hop on over to Instagram and give us a follow hecommercial break. Seriously, Please. It's getting hard for me to listen to Brian and Chrissy begging. So just follow us on Instagram. Again, that's hecommercial break. You can also follow us on TikTok@TCB podcast. And of course, you know where to go for all things TCB. That is tcbpodcast.com, baby. And of course, you can always text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at 212-4333, TCB. Yep, that phone number is no longer new, but it is still around. And that's a win. 212-4333, TCV. Love you, bye.

[Brian Green]

I forgot to tell you that I. So here in Atlanta, in Georgia, the major river that runs through our state is called the Chattahoochee River. Runs the hooch. The good old hooch.

[Chrissy]

Shoot the hooch.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, and I mean the hooch.

[Chrissy]

I've shot the hooch before.

[Brian Green]

I will never shoot the hooch.

[Chrissy]

I will never shoot the hooch again either.

[Brian Green]

No, but I did.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I did do it.

[Brian Green]

I did do it multiple times. I did it in my early 20s and late teens. Yeah, I will never do that again. Why? Because I know what is in the hooch now, and I'm not gonna do it.

[Chrissy]

Also, it's like an all day thing where you. It's hot, you're drinking. I mean, it's just. And you're on the water.

[Brian Green]

It's a hangover in a box, basically, is what it is. I mean, let's just be real about it.

[Chrissy]

Day drinking and floating down the river.

[Brian Green]

Like a lot of other places in America where there are waterways that extend to more than a mile and can, you know, are more than 10ft wide. It's a pastime to get a raft, rent a raft, get a raft, or get multiple rafts or huge rafts that cost like thousands of dollars.

[Chrissy]

We had a huge raft.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, so did we.

[Chrissy]

We got stuck, too. The current wasn't flowing. The current wasn't Fast enough. And we had to have the guy come get us, us like, and tug us back in.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really?

[Chrissy]

It was not fun.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's. It's not fun. Like. Well, I mean, I guess it can.

[Chrissy]

Be fun for like 30 minutes.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

Maybe an hour.

[Brian Green]

And this has nothing to do with what I want to talk about, but there was a radio station here in Atlanta that Chrissy and I worked at, the same signal of station. It was called 96 Rock. And I think 96 Rock started this, if I'm not mistaken. 96 Rocker Z93 or one of those Shoot the Hooch.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And what they would do is they told everybody to come out on a Saturday. Bring your. This is back when radio was like tick tock, right.

[Chrissy]

Everybody listen to it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. It was the only place of information that any young person ever cared about. That's right. You know, there's White Snake, a brand new one from White Snake. And come down to the hoops this Saturday. If I'm here, we're not gonna be the heat.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. The DJs were celebrities and.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. That when we got into radio that had time had long since passed.

[Chrissy]

They were all not.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So some people were holding on for dear life, but most people were just getting shuffled from one station together. Yeah. And so Shoot the Hooch was this thing where tens of thousands of people came out with rafts and they literally went down as one big sweaty mass of humanity down the river, pissing and. And drinking and throwing cans in it all the way. Way. Right. And so Shoot the Hooch became like this, you know, saying that was. Unless still is today. You know, these are companies called Shoot the Hooch. And I don't think. It's certainly not as popular as it was before, but I live near the Chattahoochee river. And I'll tell you what, on certain weekends there are still plenty of people going and shooting the Hooch. And so you would, you know, get in at one place and then a meet a van.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Five miles down the Hooch and drive you back up to your car. But that five miles with a river that goes one mile per hour took 60 hours to get down there. It was crazy. It's crazy how long it was. You thought you'd be in for a couple hours, right? Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You get in at 9 in the morning, at 9:30 at night, you're still on the river, drunk as a skunk, throwing up.

[Chrissy]

It's so true.

[Brian Green]

Haven't eaten anything, right? No.

[Chrissy]

You're not bringing food out there now.

[Brian Green]

Who Thinks about food. You're like, oh, they're gonna have something to eat on the way. No, they don't. It's a river. You can't get off it if you want to, and then forget about it. There are rapids, quote unquote, which is just, you know, sharp, jagged rocks that you poke a hole in your raft or hurt your feet. This is a dumb thing to do anyway. So there's this river, and they have this thing called the Chattahoochee Nature Center. Chattahoochee Nature Center.

[Chrissy]

Sounds lovely.

[Brian Green]

It is lovely. It's what it sounds like. It's a nature center. You go there and, you know, they.

[Chrissy]

Have all nature centers.

[Brian Green]

They have some animals and they have some information, and they have. Have some people that, you know, tell you about the things. And it's a fun place to take the kids for a couple of hours when it's really hot outside. They have indoors and outdoors, and you can. And it's shade and whatever. So we decide we're going to take the kids there because we have a pass to go there. So we're like, okay, let's take the kids and we'll spend a couple hours there, and they'll have fun and we'll go see the animals and walk through the park and all this other stuff. So we go. When we do the outside thing, it's 99 degrees outside, and we are just about done with the day. Like, we've seen everything outside that we have to see. We know that there's an inside, but it's small, and we've been there before, and it's just like some fish and a snake and a frog that's, you know, native to the area. It's not anything impressive. It's not a zoo. It's this studio with a couple of fish tanks in it. You know what I'm saying? It's like. It's not that impressive. So we're pretty much wrapping up the day. We've been there for a couple hours. It's way everyone's hot and tired, and we're just. Just ready to go. And as we are leaving, Astrid, like, turns the corner down a path, and then I can see her, like, walking down that path, and I'm like, hey, babe, babe, let's go. Come on, let's get out of here. We're, like, trying to walk the other way. She's gotten caught in a conversation with a lady who is telling Astrid that just a short walk down the nature path. By the way, this lady has, like, a shirt on that says like, you know, Chattahoochee Nature Center. She's like, working volunteer.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Astrid has gotten caught in a conversation with a lady who has told her that just a short walk away, you can see a plant that has. That is flowering and only flowers once a year. And it is flowering right now. Whoa. And you can see it now. I am not a botanist. I do not have any interest in flowers, except I buy them for astron occasion. Like, I don't know anything about it. I don't know the first thing about flora or fauna or whatever. I don't know anything. I don't know anything about anything really. But Astrid is, like, giving me this, like, come here, come here.

[Chrissy]

Like, I just did a bunch of planting seeds yesterday. So I like flowers and plants.

[Brian Green]

Well, congratulate. You would have loved this lady then, because now this lady. So I asked her to give me that look that only a husband and a wife have, which is like, come here, I need you.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And Astrid knows that I can talk my way in and out of any situation, but that's just not her right. She's very polite and very nice, and so she's like, nodding her head to the lady. This lady is obviously lovely, but has no other information in her brain except for Flora and Fawn. You know what I'm saying? It's probably in her. She's probably my age. She's like, coated in sunscreen. She's like. Her face is reflecting the sun back at me like a weird mirror, you know? And. And she's sweaty as can be. I mean, just like sweat pouring down. Anyway, we. I turn the corner, I see this lady, she's talking to Astrid. And Astrid goes, oh, this lady says that there's a flower blooming that only blooms once a year. And she's giving me like, that tone of voice where it's like, talk us out of this one, Brian. Isn't that cool? Don't you have somewhere to be? But I don't know what to do because as soon as I turn the corner, I'm already caught in conversation with this lady. She's like, oh, oh, you should see this. You have to see this. I'm so glad someone came up on this because this is amazing. I almost never see this. We have to see this. You have to see this. And I'm like, okay, sure. Is it a short walk down there? It's just right around the corner. And I'm like, okay. I should have known that just right around the corner meant, you know, 600 yards away. Another half mile down this path. Path. We're walking, we're walking, we're walking. She's pointing out this. She's pointing out that she.

[Chrissy]

She was guiding you there. Okay, good.

[Brian Green]

She's guiding us. But then she's like. She's like a elementary school teacher. She's like, when a plant blooms, they have a what? And I'm like, a flower? They do, but that's not the answer I was looking for. They also have a particular. And I'm like, oh, yeah, sure. And they have a reticuli and a particuli. And I'm like, like, Like a penis? Exactly. Like a mons Venus and a penis. Exactly. And I'm like, oh, okay, all right. And when a bird stops and puts its particular eye in the particular eye, it means what? And I'm like, I. I don't know. Yeah, baby birds, are they using protection or not using protection? And the kids are so. They're like, you know, ah, daddy, I want food. I snack, snack, snack. We're walking down this path for what seems like forever and then we stop. And she's like, ah, look at it. And I'm like, chrissy, we are at a nature park. That largely means everything's been untouched. It's literally a bag of bushes. As far as I'm concerned. It's the kind of stuff that I spray chemicals on in my backyard to get rid of. I have no fucking clue what she's looking at. And she's like, just look at it. Isn't that gorgeous? And I'm like, ah, what are we looking at here, Chrissy? Not only do I not see it, there's no flowers anywhere. To me, there's no flowers. What she's looking at is, it's like a. They call it a pitcher plant. Do you know what a pitcher plant is?

[Chrissy]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

It looks like almost like a glass pitcher. And when the bugs go down in it, they land in some liquid and the liquid dissolves and it eats it up. Right. Okay, great. Wonderful. It's a Venus fly truck. I don't know, something like that. And now I'm looking at the. It's like one little stalk hanging out of the ground and it's got this tiny little hole in the middle. And I'm like, wow. And she proceeds to give us a seven hour lesson on particular and particular and reticuli. And I'm like, oh my God. And she's like, isn't this. I mean, we are witnessing something that nature only allows us to see in certain circumstances. And I'M like, yeah, that's what they told us about babies. And look how many we have now. I don't know what the. Is going on. That's what the gynecologist told me and my wife. But now we have so many children. I don't know what the. It took us forever to get away from this lady. Forever. And then she's like, are you going toward the building? I'll walk with you. And I'm like, oh, great. Fantastic. And the kids are screaming and yelling, and I'm just like, listen. She was very sweet. And to the right person, this would have been the most exciting day ever. But I am not the right person to get excited about the pitcher plant flower. I'm just not.

[Chrissy]

I mean, did you take a picture of the picture?

[Brian Green]

Did I take a picture of the picture? My kid had my phone. He was playing some game with it just to keep him alive. I mean, it was, like, almost death due to boredom going on if I didn't care. You think my kids cared? No. And I tried to get them excited. Oh, look, the particular. The particular. And my kid's like, what's your password? Oh, it's 1, 2, 3, 4. There you go. So then we get back up to this building, and we're gonna go see the few fish that they at least cool off. Yes. And, man, was it nice and cool in there. I mean, it's, like, such a refreshing change. So again, there. And they have this, like, little area in the back where they've got. I mean, I guess it's more than a. It is a fish tank, but it's a nice fish tank. It's a big fish tank. It's got that running water so the fish can pretend they're swimming upstream. Oh, that's got, like, a little trout in it. And there's some other types of fish that are native to Georgia.

[Chrissy]

To the Chattahoochee.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's right. Right. And. And then there's a couple snakes, and there's a couple frogs, and then, you know, there's a couple other type of animals in there, but they're all, like, not animals. You would get super excited. You know, the. The field mouse or the whatever, and, you know, the common yard hamster. I don't know. Something. I don't know.

[Chrissy]

Field mice. They're always a good one.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's always a good. You know, they do have the cute little ears.

[Chrissy]

They do.

[Brian Green]

So we get to the last. I'm like, I'm just letting the kids run around, get some. You Know, get some cool air on them and before we get in the car and go. And really I'm just killing time before bedtime is what I'm doing, which is what all parents are doing. Always just trying to get to 7pm when everyone goes hopefully to sleep. So here I am standing there talking to Astrid, and I look over and I see in this window and I've never seen this before. And I've been to this place before. In this window, I see what looks like a stuffed animal. Animal. And in some of the displays, they aren't real animals. They're like. Yeah, they're like just set up to be. Yeah, they're like attacks.

[Chrissy]

Taxidermy. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So I thought, oh, that's a cute one. But then I noticed it's got like food in there and everything. And I'm like, wow, that's. They're taking it to the. You know, they're taking it further on this one. Like chopped up carrots and stuff.

[Chrissy]

I don't know what. What did it look like?

[Brian Green]

It looked fuzzy and furry, but I couldn't see its face. So I thought that they had, you know, positioned it in a way where you just see its back. It was like fuzzy, furry, with different, like, you know, muted colored fur.

[Chrissy]

And I'm like, oh, like with the. With like four legs?

[Brian Green]

No, it was like curled up. Oh, it was like curled up like a little bear. Yeah. You can only see its back. So all you can see was like this little curvature. No, it was small. It was small. It was like, you know what I could see of it was like a foot, maybe a foot and a half. And so I'm like, okay. And then I keep on looking at it and I'm like, well, that's a weird display. And let me. And so I step up and I look down into the glass. It's like right my eye level. So I stepped down, I look into the glass to see if I could see what kind of stuff animal they have there. And up pops a little nose. It is a baby possum. I am not kidding you. It's a baby possum. It's a young possum. It is a young possum.

[Chrissy]

It found you.

[Brian Green]

And I'm like, like, I got scared.

[Chrissy]

You saw what I saw that day.

[Brian Green]

I saw what you saw. It was a little bit bigger than that. It wasn't a baby baby. Yeah, but it was. You could tell it was young. Yeah, because. And also its fur was so, like fresh and fluffy. Like, it didn't look stringy and Oily and weird. You know, it was like it didn't.

[Chrissy]

Look like it'd been on the road for a while.

[Brian Green]

It didn't look like it was. Had been run over by multiple cars in front of my house. And so here it is. Just pokes its head right up, you know? I know. And then it just kind of lays its chin down. Like it just kind of lays down, but now not curled up. It just like lays like a dog would almost sound like it's paws. And I'm like, yeah, all right. Yeah, all right, I get it. You're kind of cute.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, they are.

[Brian Green]

And then I'm like reading the sign about the possum. Possums play an important part in society. Well, they're known as trash collectors or whatever. Right. And I'm like, I got taken by the possum. I really did. I got taken by the possum. I took a bunch of pictures. I was like, ah, God damn it. I still don't like the old, old possums. But I'll give it to you.

[Chrissy]

These little possums are cute.

[Brian Green]

If they're little and they have been bathed by the people at the nature center, then they're kind of cute and they're feeding them like carrots and not my daughter's dirty diaper, then, you know, then they're kind of cute. I will give it that. I will give it that.

[Chrissy]

I was hilarious. I mean, yeah, so right on. Spot on for you.

[Brian Green]

And his name is like, you know, Petey the Possum or something. Oh, leave it to Disney and the Chattahoochee Nature center to like humanize a little animal. Petey the possum. Peter the possum was rescued after his parents were smashed by an 18 wheeler.

[Chrissy]

Maybe that was the one that was crawling around. Probably not.

[Brian Green]

Probably not. Yeah, this one one was it.

[Chrissy]

I saw it two nights in a row, but that was it.

[Brian Green]

Wow. Unless it grew two and a half feet in the three days since and.

[Chrissy]

Made its way from downtown all the way.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's true. That 27 mile track up the Chattahoochee River. I do have to say it was kind of cute. And then they also had. They also had a beaver in a captivity. And that beaver, I couldn't believe it said tail. Like up close, it's a full grown adult. It was huge.

[Chrissy]

First of all, a lot of with that tail.

[Brian Green]

Wow, that tail was like a piece of.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, it's like another wax leather.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it was weird. And poor beaver, he was trying to get inside his Habitat. He was like, outside, but, you know, they could tell there was an inside where the keepers, like, feed him. And probably a fan or something. He was like biting the cage. He was like, he's having like a full blown panic attack. And I thought to my anxiety, I know we show the kids. And I was like, this is torture. Stop it. But it was a rescue possum. I mean, a rescue beaver and a rescue possum. All the animals there are rescued.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

We saw bald eagles, lots of owls, all kind of cool stuff.

[Chrissy]

Oh, you do a little bald eagle?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Every once in a while you got to show the kids there's something besides the Disney channel.

[Chrissy]

That's true.

[Brian Green]

And video game on your iPad.

[Chrissy]

Very true.

[Brian Green]

Not that they cared. They went right back to the video games and iPads when we got home. But whatever. At least. At least for 10 minutes they were away from it. And they got a lesson in particular. In particular, which is not the real terminology she used. So don't text me.

[Chrissy]

And they sell the flower that only flowers once a year.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I mean, how exciting.

[Chrissy]

When they grow up, they'll understand the importance of.

[Brian Green]

I'm grown up and I don't understand the importance of it. Really don't. Ah, it's all a cog in the wheel, Chrissy. We're all just cogs in the wheel. That's it.

[Chrissy]

We are.

[Brian Green]

All right. TCBpodcast.com that's where you go to find out more information about Chrissy and I. All the audio, all the video right there from one location. TCB podcast.com you can also get your free sticker by hitting the contact us button drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address and away it will go. Please do us a favor. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. You can also communicate with us via DM through that social media platform. We'd be happy to have you. We'd love it if you would follow us. So many of you did after we. After we made our plea. So do it again. Everybody go. Subscribe again. Unsubscribe and then subscribe, Follow and Unfollow and follow again. 212-4333 TCB 212-4333 TCB Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas? We're taking them all. More information about our live shows coming soon. YouTube.com the commercial break. All right, Chrissy. That's all I can do for today.

[Chrissy]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

But I love you.

[Chrissy]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

And best to you. The best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say. We do say, and we must say goodbye. Sam. I gotta get some cocaine. Driving me crazy.