Princess Mmmmm....

Summary

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The Commercial Break – "Princess Mmmmm..." (March 4, 2026)

Episode Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break is classic improv-comedy mayhem with Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley. It careens from parodying pop culture to dissecting school memories, contemporary streaming TV, and, most notably, a deep dive into the real royal family drama—surprisingly, not in England but in Norway. Bryan and Krissy revel in their signature banter, riffing on everything from parent-teacher conferences to the oddities of European monarchies, with plenty of absurd tangents and sharp-witted commentary.

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Major Segments & Key Discussion Points

1. Swiftie Households & Wallet Woes (00:00–01:01)

• Bryan opens with a tongue-in-cheek monologue about Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift’s much-rumored wedding, dramatized through a comedic exchange with a personified “Wallet.”
  • "There's gonna be posters and T-shirts and double albums and jingle jangles... I'm gonna get such a workout. You better ask for that increase of credit." – Wallet (00:35)
• Sets the sardonic tone and playful energy for the episode.

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2. Return to the Studio & Adventures with Staff Infections (02:06–04:19)

• Chrissy welcomes Bryan back to the studio after his family’s bouts with various illnesses ("MRSA, staph infection, encephalitis") and a disastrous South Florida trip.
  • “It was a perfect storm… we might have picked it up at Disney and then got worse in 107-degree heat… but happy to report it’s all gone. The three F's—the fucking, the fighting, and the forgetting.” – Bryan (02:40)
• Discussion on the gross realities of property maintenance in Florida.
  • “Literal dinosaur fungus would grow inside your toilet… South Florida is full of flora and fungi if you will. Flora, fauna, and fungi.” – Bryan (03:05)

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3. Parental Engagement Then vs. Now (04:20–20:41)

• Hilarious, nostalgic riff on parent-teacher conferences, mischievous childhood antics, and how today’s schools are much more parent-involved.
  • “The only kind of attention I got was being funny. I’d do that, which led to mischief… like 50 pixie sticks in a hotel air conditioner.” – Bryan (05:27)
  • Chrissy and Bryan swap stories about their own school experiences, the horror of parent conferences, and the evolution of school events—contrasting their own 1980s/1990s childhoods with their kids’ jam-packed calendars ("family fun nights," "bounce houses," etc.).
  • “Just one water slide in my life, one encephalitis-filled, mud-swamped, dead grass-filled, swampy water slide, and my educational career could have been different.” – Bryan (20:14)
• They underline the generational shift toward hyper-involved parenting and changes in school communities.

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4. Guest Roundup: Dusty Slay & Brett Gelman (22:58–31:45)

• Hosts discuss fan feedback after recent comedian interviews:
  • Dusty Slay: Bryan recommends Dusty's comedy special, drawing comparisons to Nate Bargatze.
    • “By 20 minutes in, I was laughing so fucking hard. Nate [Bargatze] uses his body, his eyes, his words economically...” – Bryan (24:05)
    • “8.75 out of 10! If George Carlin at the Met is 10, then Dusty Slay is 8.75.” – Bryan (26:32)
  • Brett Gelman: Reflections on Brett’s latest show—a weird genre-mashup on Amazon—and musings on how hard it is to make "TV magic" twice.

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5. TV & Streaming Culture – Why Television is “Broken” (31:46–41:41)

• A free-flowing dialogue on streaming’s effect on traditional TV, referencing "Stranger Things," the new "Office"-like show "The Paper," and legacy TV formats.
  • “It takes some real fucking cahoots for Netflix to say, ‘We’re gonna ruin your Christmas... by releasing Stranger Things on those three days!’” – Bryan (31:10)
  • They reminisce about shows with successful spin-offs (e.g. "Better Call Saul") and note the rarity of repeat magic.
  • Offer a meta-commentary on the death of late-night TV and the rise of podcasts/vodcasts.

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6. The Real Royal Scandal—Norway Edition (42:15–57:14)

Shift from UK Royal Obsession to Norway’s Bananas Drama

• Bryan brings up Norwegian royalty, moving away from Harry & Meghan overexposure.
  • “We’ve all been paying too much attention to Harry and Bob… What we should have been paying attention to was Norway!” – Bryan (42:15)
• Recaps tabloid mayhem: Norway’s royal family embroiled in actual crime & circus-level drama.
  • The son of the Crown Prince (from a one-night stand with a criminal) faces ongoing legal troubles (“arrested on four counts of grape and SA”). (46:56)
  • His sister, Princess Martha Louise (a self-proclaimed clairvoyant), marries Durek Verrett, an American shaman who claims he’s an alien with regenerative abilities and that he and Martha met in a past life as pharaoh and queen.
    • “This guy claims to be a non-human alien who can regenerate his own cells, limbs, eyeballs… he’s clairvoyant and here to save the world.” – Bryan (48:24)
    • “Stevie Wonder played at their wedding!” – Bryan (49:34)
• The Netflix documentary, “Hello!” magazine photo exclusive, wild pseudoscientific claims, and family’s plunging popularity.
• Krissy: “Go off, Norway… Let’s get some other royal scandals going on!” (49:45)
• Bryan wishes aloud for them as podcast guests: “I love you, Dusty, but before I get a follow up with you, I want to have Queen Martha on the show.” (55:12)
• Discussion on new age podcasts, past lives, and the enduring appeal of wild claims.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On parent-teacher dread:
  “I dreaded nothing more than a parent teacher conference… by the time I got to high school, my dad stopped showing up. He thought, ‘Why am I responsible for this?’” – Bryan (07:09)

• On Netflix’s streaming dominance:
  “Netflix accomplished something that I think even they may not have intended... and that is, break television. It will never be the same again.” – Bryan (39:28)

• On Norway’s shaman royal:
  "The guy claims to be a non-human alien who can regenerate his own limbs… he’s here to save the world. He is a wild, wild character.” – Bryan (48:24)

• On generational changes:
  "School is not a drop-off zone… It's a place where you accept my children. That’s my flesh and blood. I want to be involved.” – Bryan (19:52)

• On royal drama:
  "We’re paying attention to Charles bickering, when we should have been watching Norway… The Norrish. Are they Norwegian? Norrish! God, you're Norrish.” – (50:40)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------------------|------------------| | Taylor Swift & Wallet cold open | 00:00–01:01 | | School illnesses, Florida stories | 02:06–04:19 | | Parent-teacher conference ruminations | 04:20–08:19 | | School involvement, family fun night contrast | 15:15–20:41 | | Dusty Slay & Brett Gelman feedback | 22:58–31:45 | | TV, streaming, and the death of late night | 31:46–41:41 | | Norwegian royal deep dive and shaman drama | 42:15–57:14 |

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Closing Notes

• Continual call-outs for listeners to get in touch, tag merch photos, and share stories—emphasizing the "family feel" and inside-joke charm.
• Bryan’s final aspiration: someday having the Norwegian shaman and queen on the show.

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(Summary prepared to capture the comedic, wandering, and irreverent essence that makes The Commercial Break an offbeat cult favorite, while efficiently walking you through the best bits and biggest laughs.)

Transcript

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. Travis and Taylor finally tying the knot. How exciting. Honestly, I was hoping it would work out the entire time. As a guy who lives with a house full of swifties, I can tell you that never have I been more excited to be a guy who lives in a house full of swifties. I mean, what more could you ask for, honestly?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hello.

[Brian Green]

Hello. How are you?

[Wallet (Personification)]

Oh, I'm your wallet. And I'm so excited too.

[Brian Green]

Well, I'm trying to make a reel here. I get it.

[Wallet (Personification)]

I understand. I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to remind you that Taylor and

[Brian Green]

Travis are getting married.

[Wallet (Personification)]

And there's gonna be posters and T shirts and double albums and streaming and pay per view weddings and Time magazine and People magazine and shoes and jingle jangles and wristbands. Oh, my gosh, I'm gonna get such a workout. You better ask for that increase of credit.

[Brian Green]

Thanks.

[Wallet (Personification)]

You're welcome.

[Brian Green]

Thanks.

[Wallet (Personification)]

I'll be back real soon, I'm sure.

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the commercial break, the Jamie Kern Lima show podcast. Okay, all right. If that's not confusing enough, also a guest shark on Shark Tank, Best best selling author and founder of IT Cosmetics.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Her voice, pretty big is Now a lot of people have said this about me too, so I'm not throwing stones in a glass house, but her voice drives me crazy. It is a valley girl with all of that. What do they call that? Throat.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Whatever it is building their confidence and their self esteem that I use a lot with them is yet you know, and how to reframe things for kids when they're like, I can't do it. I can't do it yet.

[Chris Hoadley]

No, I'm done.

[Brian Green]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Chris Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there. The podcast universe. Good to have you back in studio.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

After a little absence, short week last week. Little absence. My wife was very upset with me because yesterday I mentioned that we had MRSA running around the house and she said, what will all the people at the school think? And I said, we're covered in open wounds. What do you think they think we have leprosy. No, I'm kidding. It's all done. It's all gone. We're all good. We've now recovered from our. Our bout with staph and encephalitis and staff infection. Did it Was kind of a perfect storm. I think we might have picked it up at Disney and then got worse when we went down to south Florida in 107 degree heat with 99.9% humidity.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Nothing grows there.

[Brian Green]

Nothing? Not a thing.

[Chris Hoadley]

No kind of viruses?

[Brian Green]

No.

[Chris Hoadley]

You.

[Brian Green]

I had property in Florida because somebody else that I knew was rich and paid for it and I was in charge of managing it. Not because I was like some big, you know, real estate mogul, but for a short period of time I had real estate down in Florida. And the things you would have to do to even the inside of the property to ensure that literal dinosaur fungus would not grow on the inside of your toilet was amazing. You were constantly using harsh chemicals to ensure you couldn't open the. Like it was a whole thing. So yes, South Florida is full of flora and fungi if you will. Flora, fauna and fungi. Chrissy. But I'm happy to report that it's all gone. Yes, the three Fs, the fucking, the fighting and the forgetting. It's all gone. Everybody's feeling better now. Everyone's on the mend. I think all the open wounds have managed to close themselves. But I'll tell you what I noticed when I went. You know, I've been to 16 to 17 different school related activities in just the last two weeks. Why? The kids haven't even been in school for one day and we need a parent teacher conference. What could you possibly know about my kid yet? You've seen him for five hours and maybe they want to get prepped. So let me give you the lowdown. They're going to be terrible. They're going to tax your every nerve. They're miserable.

[Chris Hoadley]

Aw. Yours or not, I love them.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You have to go to so many meetings at the beginning of the year. Orientations and teacher meetings and security and what do we do with this? And tornado drills and it just seems like a lot of.

[Chris Hoadley]

It seems like it's a lot more

[Brian Green]

than when we were precursor activity to just going to school. Like I don't remember my parents ever going to any kind. Maybe they did and I just wasn't aware of it. I think maybe an orientation like the

[Chris Hoadley]

orientation and parent teacher conferences.

[Brian Green]

But God, I hated those parent teacher conferences, Chrissy. Nothing filled me quite like dread after the fourth grade because I remember angel so. But were you really?

[Chris Hoadley]

I was.

[Brian Green]

Were you a prissy student? Like a. I was a good student. Prissy prancer as I like to call all of my daughters. You're prissy prancers. You go in there, you do everything correctly. Let me share with you that I was not. This may come as a surprise to anybody listening to the show, but I was a total shithead. And while I wasn't, like a troublemaker, I didn't go out and, like, you know, beat up kids. I wasn't a bully or anything like that.

[Chris Hoadley]

I just got into mischief.

[Brian Green]

I was mischievous. Yes. I found that the only kind of attention that I would get was when I was being funny or clownish. And so I would do that, not in a disruptive way, but that would lead to mischief that then would lead to some kind of trouble. Like 20 to 50 pixie sticks in a hotel air conditioner on a overnight trip. On the one overnight trip we took in all of grade school.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, that's kind of an honest kid mistake, though, really. I mean, you just don't. You don't. You can't grasp at that age that stuff really will, like, cause damage to things. Unless you did know that and you did it anyways.

[Brian Green]

I think I was a pretty sharp tool. I don't know what happened over the years. I've lost that, but I think I was a pretty sharp tool. I think I understood that what we were doing in the moment was not the best thing that we could be doing. And it most likely would be frowned upon should anybody figure it out. What gets me every time. And I guess I don't know what we would have cleaned it up with, but we did all this damage to this hotel room and then thought nothing of cleaning it. We actually left it that way for everybody to find. In the morning. We fell asleep on the pizza and pixie stick covered, you know, beds, and then woke up in the morning thinking,

[Chris Hoadley]

hopped up on all that sugar.

[Brian Green]

And that's what I think it was. I think it was just a sugar high. And the sugar will give the kids a high, that's for sure.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

But I dreaded nothing. Nothing more than a parent teacher conference night. I dreaded it because I wasn't the best student academically. I didn't apply myself. I very rarely did my homework, if ever. And the teachers, while I always felt like I had some kind of relationship with the teachers. See, I like to make the students laugh. And then I like to make the teachers laugh, too.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So I think they thought I was a friendly kid. But, you know, parents only suffer so much bullshit. Like, adults only suffer so much bullshit from kids. Like, I know my kid will avoid brushing his teeth all night long if he can just have a conversation with me about Disney or he can make me laugh or he can point out something that he's done. But I see right through it. I see what you're doing. That's right, you're avoiding your responsibility of brushing your teeth. So eventually the suffering of the bullshit, they will suffer no more. And so I just remember that distinct feeling of dread when my parents would say, so and so is coming to babysit you because it's parent teacher conference night. And then I always knew there was going to be a lecture after they got home, shortly after they got home, after the babysitter was shuffled off back to her house and my dad came in the door, I knew it was going to be a sit down conversation. And it happened almost exclusively every time after fourth or fifth grade. By the time I got to high school, I don't even think my dad bothered showing up any more parents meetings. I think he felt like, why am I taking this chip? Why am I, why am I responsible for this? He's a grown man. Let him do his own thing.

[Chris Hoadley]

I don't really remember them in high school.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, maybe. Oh, maybe that was just my parents being called in individually.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Maybe this is my dad being called in individually. I do remember, I do remember my parents being called in.

[Chris Hoadley]

There was a particular time that you stands out.

[Brian Green]

I think I've told this story. Maybe I have and I'll share, I'll share it in case I haven't. I was a freshman. I had a English teacher, like, you know, English literature teacher. She was on the younger side. I still remember her name. I won't give it here, but she was on the younger side. So maybe she was in her 20s and she wasn't like, you know, hot for teacher kind of hot. But she was one of the younger teachers at a Catholic school. And so I think some of the guys thought that she was attractive and she was friendly with some of the girls.

[Chris Hoadley]

She was like the cool teacher.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she was the cool teacher. And I remember me and this teacher had a connection. I think she gave a shit about me. I think she knew that my home life was a little bit troubled at the time. She reached out, she tried to help. I remember a couple of different occasions when there were outside school activities where she would be like a football game or there was a waffle, you know, we would go to Waffle House all the time, smoke cigarettes and drink coffee. She would show up on occasion there. It wasn't unusual at that time. Listen, this was different kind of petoing. It wasn't like, you know, Jeffrey Epstein kind of thing. It was just like, you know, light slap on the ass kind of. You're light pdoing, if you will. And she, she showed up at the Waffle House on a couple different occasions and would sit there while we were smoking cigarettes and talk to us. And so she was the cool teacher. But when we got to sophomore year, I ended up in her class again for English lit. And halfway through the year, I remember that my parents were called in. My mom went to the school, and about a week later, I was. I was moved out of that classroom into a different teacher's classroom. Oh, and my mom, without explanation, they just said, you've got a new. You know, Brian, you're going to a new. You're going to this class now for. And I thought, what? I like that teacher. Why am I doing that? It's just a change of schedule. That's the way it is. That's what you're going to do. Okay. And my mom told me a couple weeks later that when she was called in, she was called in because there was some discomfort around the relationship that the teacher had specifically with me and that they felt it was best that I be in another classroom.

[Chris Hoadley]

The authorities, the higher ups, the school, the school had some reservations.

[Brian Green]

And I don't know if that came from the teacher herself or. I mean, I was certainly wasn't like hitting on the teacher. I mean, 15 years old, am I hitting on a teacher? I wasn't hitting on the teacher. I believe this may have been coming from other people in the school. Maybe she was getting a little too close for comfort at times with some of the students. And I was targeted. You're part of the group. I was part of the group and of course I was part of the group. I was always part of the group that was targeted for discipline. Yeah, yeah. I was like a poster child for discipline. They had a disciplinary officer at my school. Like, did you have one of those at your school?

[Chris Hoadley]

I don't really remember that. No.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I remember we had a demerit system. Did you have a demerit system?

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, I remember like the kids getting an in school suspension, like that kind of thing.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, no, so we had demerit. So, like, if your tie wasn't a certain length, if you were not in your classroom within a minute of the bell.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. Demerits.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. If you were smoking a cigarette in your car, you could get demerits and like three demerits equaled, I don't know you couldn't go to the football game or something. You know, five demerits was a detention.

[Chris Hoadley]

Sure.

[Brian Green]

Ten demerits was an in school suspension. Or you could go straight to suspension and don't. Do not pass, go. Yeah, yeah, that was one of those things. That's right. And so there was a disemponary officer that was like. Her job was to run around and she was like a former nun. Her job was to run around making people miserable, essentially. I remember her name too. And she was universally disliked by everybody at the school. Of course she was. But especially universally disliked by the troublemaking crowd of which I was a part.

[Chris Hoadley]

Your crew.

[Brian Green]

That's right, by my crew. She had eyes on us all the time. We all the time. She would go to cars and look for packs of cigarettes is what she would do.

[Chris Hoadley]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

Even though it was not particularly uncommon, this is how old I am. It was not particularly uncommon at that time for high school students to smoke cigarettes.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, no. I remember smoking, having in the bathroom

[Brian Green]

and stuff like that at our campus, at our high school campus. The year before we got there was the year that they banned smoking on campus. They had long time ago banned smoking inside the building. Yeah, but the students could still go outside into the common area or outside into the front of the school, outside the front of the school and smoke cigarettes. So that my freshman, and sometimes in my sophomore year, you could still find people out in the lawn in the front of the school smoking cigarettes. The seniors and the juniors, I think the seniors got an exemption. They were smoking cigarettes. But all of us smoke. Everybody smoked cigarettes. It seemed like at some point or another. But because you could not smoke them on the campus anymore, if you were smoking in your car, then you could get a demerit. And I remember that lady walking around our cars trying to see if she could find cigarette boxes, you know, boxes of cigarettes so she could potentially give us a demerit. Fucker. I mean, honestly.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, I guess it was her job.

[Brian Green]

It was her job. So I don't have to worry about any of that. None of my kids are over the age of, you know, eight, so I'm not worried about that quite yet. Yeah, but I'm already at parent teacher conferences. Right. You know, I don't particularly know what we're talking about the first day of school. What are we doing?

[Chris Hoadley]

Is it just a kind of set up? What is going to happen?

[Brian Green]

This is very much both the schools that all the children attend. There's two different schools because they're in two different age Groups, they. They're very. They have a very family feel to them. And so everyone is very involved. And I like that. I think that's very important. It's something I did not have with my parents. The schools I went to were not like that. They didn't have class moms, they didn't have any of that stuff. Right. They have room mothers. The PTA wasn't non existent. Parents would just sometimes get together in groups and do stuff for fall festival or whatever. But very few of those things happened either. But at one particular school that one of some of my children go to, it's like every weekend there's a different thing. Yeah, we went. So it's a. It's a half week, right? It's the start. It's a half week. You have one day as orientation.

[Chris Hoadley]

Ease them back in, ease them back in.

[Brian Green]

Then the next day they go to school. But it's a fun day. And they're there and they're figuring out their classrooms. They're not really doing much. And then the next day is a full day of school and they're kind of getting used to any new classrooms, new teachers, new students. Everyone's having a good time, saying hello to each other.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And.

[Brian Green]

And in those three days, the parents have like three different things to attend. But then on Friday night, there is a picnic, like a family picnic. All these grades come and we're going to put out a huge inflatable water slide. Bouncy houses, bouncy houses. We're going to cook hot dogs. We're going to have food, games, activities. The teachers are going to paint faces, we're going to play music. And all the kids are just going to go out there and party. And my kid, one of my kids comes home super excited about this. But I'm clueless because I don't. Do you think Brian pays attention to that calendar? No, he does not. But he's like, we have to go, we have to go. And I think to myself, what are we talking about? I don't know anything about a family fun night. I have plans. I have to put you to bed. I have to put you to bed. How could we? This is bedtime. How can we do this? But we go and it's like a ton. The kids are fucking having such a great time. They're out there in the mud and the grass and riding down this, you know, water slide that's full of additional cell manila and encephalitis and eating hot dogs and getting their faces painted and running around with their Friends. And I just think to myself, this was not my education. This was not my experience as a child. And if I had had even a touch of this, like where my parents came to the school and they were involved in family fun night and painting faces and having hot dogs and going down water slides, that maybe I would have enjoyed school a little bit more. Maybe it would have been something I actually would have looked forward to attending.

[Chris Hoadley]

Absolutely. I remember my mom was involved. She was like room mother once or twice and she'd put together things and yeah, there were. There was pta, There was a lot of stuff. My dad wasn't that involved, but my mom was.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but your dad was working, right?

[Chris Hoadley]

He was. And there were three girls and yeah, it was a lot.

[Brian Green]

So your mom was a part of the school. She was like in touch. She was there.

[Chris Hoadley]

She was in touch. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I think that also has something to do with my personal relationship with school and whether or not I felt like it was something I, you know.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Familyish. Even though I went to a Catholic school. Right. I mean, let's be honest about it. I went to a Catholic school. It's not like, you know, Catholic schools have a reputation for a reason.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, there's a bunch of Mormon fuzzy.

[Brian Green]

It depends on which teacher you have. And I think things may be different now, but back then there were still nuns and priests that were teaching inside of the school. I'm sure there are still priests and nuns that are somewhat attached to the school.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But back then it was more like a. Kind of like a military area.

[Chris Hoadley]

Like it every time you talk about it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. It wasn't like warm and fuzzy and I just don't remember. Maybe there were a bunch of after school activities for families and stuff like that, and we just didn't happen to go to them. It was also 20 miles away from my house, so I think my dad was just kind of tired. At the end of the day, he's like, I'm not driving all the way. Yeah, fucking down down to take you to family fun night. I'll cook some hot dogs here. I'm going to go up and watch the Bulls game and you can crank up your guitar and annoy the rest of the house. How's that, Brian? Okay. But I just look at these schools now and I think to myself, this is, you know, for whatever shitty things are going on in today's society and the education system is broken and it's, you know, a place is really terrible. There are certain things that I think we've made Leaps and bounds on. And one of those is the parents are involved.

[Chris Hoadley]

The involvement. Well I think that's a generational thing too.

[Brian Green]

I think you might be right about that.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Because I think you know, with the generations before it was kind of like eh, go out and play and do your thing and mommy's going to take her helpers.

[Brian Green]

But mommy's taking her little helpers. Yeah, I'll be here smoking cigarettes.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, exactly. So I think it's just a different mindset too. Especially too with the advent of social media, you know.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, true.

[Chris Hoadley]

There's got to show those cute pictures.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. There's a fucking WhatsApp.

[Chris Hoadley]

You're going to be shamed if you don't.

[Brian Green]

There you go. And listen, you know, I all valid great points. I also think that now parents in general are more involved in their parent, in their students life for some good and some bad. I understand that you know there could. That you got to be careful about helicopter parenting and that's a real fine line and sometimes I don't even know where it lies. I'm not claiming to be an expert on that. I'm sure aside baby my children at times too much and then I'm sure I'm probably like my dad in some ways in other places. But school is not a drop off zone.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

It's a place where you, you're accepting my children. That's my flesh and blood. Like I, I want to be involved in some way, shape or form and I get it. Not every parent can be like that. Sometimes you just have to go out there and hustle and make a living and make sure your kids are also financially taken care of. It's not for every parent to be that involved in, in school and if we couldn't go to the family fun night because something else was more important, we wouldn't have gone. Yeah, but I went and I just like I'm making the comparisons in my. Always comparing my own experience to my children's experience and thinking to myself holy shit, just one water slide in my life. Just one encephalitis filled mud swapped, you know, dead grass filled, swampy water. Water slide. And my whole educational career could have been different. I could have been a doctor or a lawyer or a QuickBooks expert.

[Chris Hoadley]

An accountant.

[Brian Green]

An accountant. All right, well listen, last week we had a ton of fun because we only recorded for like one hour last week. So we had a ton of fun doing nothing basically. But we got a lot of great feedback about two of our guests. I'd like to talk More about them, Chrissy, if you don't mind. Brett Gelman. And then we followed it up right with Dusty Slay. And then I want to talk about the royal family of Norway, who are causing quite a stir. Have you heard about all of this?

[Chris Hoadley]

I've heard a little bit about some

[Brian Green]

stuff, but very bad boys and girls in Norway. In that Norway, some criminals, straight up criminals. What's that?

[Chris Hoadley]

Are there affairs going on or affairs

[Brian Green]

and nor and princesses marrying dun dun, dun dun black guys. But then there's like real bullshit, like, you know, rapists and stuff like that. So Norway, listen, we were all paying attention to Harry and twiddle and twaddle over there, having, you know, having a cock fight in the front grounds of Windsor Castle. And what we should have been paying attention to was Norway. That's where the real drama is happening. We'll take a break. We'll talk more about it.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so last week we had two different guests that we pushed out. You know, we recorded Dusty on Thursday. We usually takes us at least a week to get the guests interviews out just because of all the editing that needs to be done and video and stuff like that. But we decided to flip it around real quick. And we've only had Dusty out for a day and people are really excited about Dusty Slay and his interviews. I have. We have a lot more Dusty Slay fans than I would have anticipated that we have.

[Chris Hoadley]

I really liked him a lot.

[Brian Green]

Did you check out Wet Heat?

[Chris Hoadley]

I did some of it. I haven't watched. I haven't had the chance to watch the whole thing.

[Brian Green]

When Astrid asked me about a year and a half ago or whenever. When did the Nate Bargazzi special come out? About a year ago?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, about a year ago.

[Brian Green]

Okay. So about a year ago, Astrid said, you want to do a Netflix and chill night with me and we'll watch Nate Bargazzi? I like him now. I knew Nate was the guy from Naatland. I knew Nate was a very popular comedian. I'd seen many, many of his social media reels, but he never really struck me as like my favorite comedian. And that's. I'm just an honest opinion. Right. I was always like, yeah, he's funny, you know, but, you know, sometimes you just like. You vibe with a certain type of comedy or music or whatever. It wasn't that instant. I didn't fall in love. It wasn't love at first sight, Chrissy.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

But then Astrid said, you wanted Netflix and chill with the Nate special. And I said, oh, okay. You know, sometimes you gotta watch stuff because your. Your wife likes it or your husband likes it. So we watch that special. And it takes me about 20 minutes to even get into what's going on, because Nate does that. He's at least in this special. He started off so slow and plotting and thoughtful and pensive and a lot of space in between words. And I thought to myself, okay, well, I guess we're in for a night of, you know, six seconds in between each word Nate's gonna say. But by 20 minutes in, I was really laughing so fucking hard. Because Nate uses his body, his eyes, and his words economically in a way where he's. It's like we're fish. There's a hook in our mouth and he's yanking us in the. Exactly in the direction that we want to go. He's a. A tactician, as I. As I think. As I think. Yeah. As I believe Dusty is. And he really got me not one or ass in the entire thing. I don't think. I don't think there's any curse words in it, which again, not. Is not my. Like, I wouldn't say that I'm. I'm a guy who likes clean comedy necessarily. If it's good, it's good.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, that's the thing. I don't feel like I'M one way or the other. But, you know, if it's funny to me, then. Then it's funny.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's right. It's like, you know, gay porn, straight porn, I could really do either or as long as it's good. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Chris Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

Usually women porn when it's gay, but you don't understand what I'm saying. Okay. So the same thing happened to me with the first Dusty Slay special and now the second Dusty Slay Special. I think it starts off a little bit more poppy. He's less economical with his words. He's not as slow and thoughtful as Nate is. Nate's got a very unique delivery, but Dusty's very good at what he does. And I thought, that's special. If we're going to give it a score, I'm going 8.75 out of 10.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

If, like, you know, George Carlin at the Met is like a 10 out of 10, or Mitch Hedberg is a 10 out of 10, then I'm going 8.75. 8.75, Chrissy.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's a high score.

[Brian Green]

High score. But he's got to have some room to improve there because, you know, he's got a new hour and we got to see what he does there.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, he's already doing new stuff.

[Brian Green]

He's already doing new stuff on tour. So I just wanted to share with everybody. I think it's well worth an hour and some change of your time to go watch Dusty's special. And I don't usually. I mean, sometimes we do, but it's not every guest, it's not every comedian where I go and follow up with another recommendation to go watch his special. But I thought it was. I thought it was very good. And people apparently like him. People apparently like him because they're texting right away. That's another thing is usually don't. People don't text at all. But now that we have Dusty on, they want to text us, tell us how wonderful Dusty is.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, I'm so glad we were able to make it work.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'm so glad something finally got you to text the commercial break. Thanks for that. And then Brett Gelman. And what do we say about Brett Gelman that he hasn't already said himself about himself? Brett Gelman is a star in one of the most popular shows on Earth, and people instantly recognize him. And they got very excited about Brett being on the show Stranger Things.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. And I have to say, I watched his show that he was talking about during the interview.

[Brian Green]

I did, too.

[Chris Hoadley]

Interesting.

[Brian Green]

I like Brett.

[Chris Hoadley]

I love Brett. And I loved parts of the special. That's not a special. What, six episodes?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I think that's being very judicious. I think that's being very judicious.

[Chris Hoadley]

It was very different, but he's still him in it. And so that part was funny. And there were certainly some other parts. It's like nothing I've ever seen before. Horror. Comedy. Horror and comedy.

[Brian Green]

Horror, drama, mystery, and a little of the.

[Chris Hoadley]

Of the. Not the occult.

[Brian Green]

A Kadristemy, if you will. It's a cadristomy on Amazon.

[Chris Hoadley]

Supernatural, maybe.

[Brian Green]

Yes, it. Brett told us, you know, we spend a few minutes with the guests before you. Before the part you hear, and then after the part you hear usually, you know, saying salutations and greetings just to make sure that, you know, we're not totally raw dogging the interview. We want to say, hey, welcome to the show. I'm Chrissy. I'm Brian. Here. How's. Here's how it's going to go. Let us know if there's anything you do or don't want to talk about. And usually that leads to a little bit of rapport beforehand. And Brett said to us, I've got this new show. I've been toiling with it for five years, and finally somebody bought it. And I'm telling you right now, it's probably going to be the weirdest thing you've ever seen in your entire life. I've been. I'm very proud of it, but I don't need exactly know how to explain it. You know, it's a vampire drama, murdered comedy, and I'm like, oh, okay, right up my alley. Sounds right up my alley. But I'm not sure it was right up my alley. I'm just being honest.

[Chris Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

I thought it was. It's watchable, for sure.

[Chris Hoadley]

I can see why it took a while to sell it.

[Brian Green]

I can see why some executives sat in a room, watched it, and thought to themselves, huh, huh? How are the analytics going to deliver this one?

[Chris Hoadley]

I like the fact that there was no previous form. It was a formulaic show.

[Brian Green]

No, that's for sure. It's not a Seinfeld episode. It's not a show about nothing, that's for sure. It's a weird, strange mishmash of a bunch of different stuff. And I think there are some moments to great effect, but then I think there are some moments and maybe I just need to watch the thing all the way through.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, yes.

[Brian Green]

Did you watch it all the way through.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, Jeff did. I left him with it because I had to go be somewhere. He was like, really? Then. Now I have to continue watching this to see what happens.

[Brian Green]

And did he finish?

[Chris Hoadley]

He filled me in when I got back and he was like, yeah. It continued down the same vein.

[Brian Green]

Well, listen, Brett was great, by the way.

[Chris Hoadley]

Brett is incredible.

[Brian Green]

Brett is great. And there's going to be hits and misses and not everybody's going to like everything. And I think Chrissy and I in some ways have this similar sensibilities. So maybe it's just not for us. But you go watch it. Art is interpretive, very interpretive. And Brett is been in so many things. Just all the stuff that he did on Adult Swim I think makes him worthy of any conversation and welcome back anytime. But then on top of that, his Stranger Things turn, which I'm excited to

[Chris Hoadley]

see that coming up. It's going to take up the whole holidays. Right?

[Brian Green]

That's what I, that's kind of the reason why I brought this up is because, you know, we put a reel out and then I thought about this one more time. It takes some real fucking cahoots, some huge banana leafs for the executives at Netflix to say, you know what we're gonna do? We're gonna ruin your Christmas. We're gonna ruin your Thanksgiving. And on top of that, we're gonna ruin your new year by releasing the world's favoritest show on those three days so that you have no time to spend with your family. And everybody's gonna be watching Stranger Things because that's what's going to happen.

[Chris Hoadley]

Maybe it together. I mean, that was their thinking.

[Brian Green]

Hey, listen, that too. But there's going to be guys and girls who want to watch football and have to make a big decision about which one. I guess the good news is on

[Chris Hoadley]

streaming, you can play at any time.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I wonder. There's probably a lot of guys out there who are going to watch Stranger Things first and then watch the football game on repeat. I mean, it takes a lot of balls to put this up against the sports and the other traditional things that you watch on Thanksgiving like football, basketball on, on Christmas, the Thanksgiving Day parade, New Year's Eve celebrations, or all of the bowl games that'll be on January 1st. This is a, this is a, this is a fuck you to the conventional entertainment industry, I think is what this is.

[Chris Hoadley]

When you've got a hit, milk it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but you got to know. You gotta, you gotta know for sure you got the numbers to compete, to pull people Away from other stuff. And so Netflix must. And they don't give away their streaming numbers, so you don't really know. Are a billion people watching every season. Are the 300 million people. But I think if I'm not mistaken, Stranger Things is one of the most streamed television shows in history. I think, you know, Seinfeld and other stuff like that certainly have. In the Office, they came out with

[Chris Hoadley]

a new office or a new type of office show.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Did you see that?

[Chris Hoadley]

It's called the Paper.

[Brian Green]

Really?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. And so it's about, you know, they're doing that same documentary style thing.

[Brian Green]

Is this the follow up that what's Her Name was talking about on our show? Is it by Greg Daniels?

[Chris Hoadley]

I don't know, but it's like it's very, very similar take on this. And the Oscar plays a role in it too.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he does?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. I just watched the trailer for it the other day.

[Brian Green]

The Paper show. Let me see the follow up to the Office. The Paper one season. And where is this going? Where can we see this? Chrissy

[Chris Hoadley]

Peacock, maybe. I don't even know for sure that's actually out yet. Cause I went to go watch it and I think it's coming soon.

[Brian Green]

Alex Edelman is in it. This is the official following up on the story the Office. The documentary crew that immortalized Dunder Mifflin Scranton branch discovers a disappearing Midwest newspaper and the publisher trying to revive it with reporters. This mockumentary files that follows the daily lives and dreams of blah, blah, blah.

[Chris Hoadley]

It looks pretty funny, but it's going to be hard to recreate that same magic.

[Brian Green]

There's going to be no chance that they recreate that. I'm gonna get. I'll give it a chance.

[Chris Hoadley]

I'll give it a chance too. Like I said, Oscar's in it.

[Brian Green]

Okay, ready? Let's listen.

[Chris Hoadley]

And I like the one that Oscar's like, no way I'm doing this again.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Innovate sells products made out of paper, toilet tissue, toilet seat protectors, and local newspapers. And that is in order of quality.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Here is one of my articles I'm particularly proud of.

[Brian Green]

I'm scrolling and I'm scrolling and I'm learning a lot. Okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

All right.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's got potential.

[Brian Green]

I'm 30 seconds in and I see where this is going. All right. Okay. I'll. I'll give it a jander. The thing about. The thing about, like, I hope it does great. It's hard to make magic happen twice to lightning strike twice in the exact same tone and texture that it did. Few movies have done it. Even fewer television shows have done it. I mean, think of a sequel television show that's really, really done. Well, which one is that? You know, I can't think of it. Spongebob Square. I mean, I don't know. I don't know which sequel television show that I can even think of that did well at all. So my opinion is, like, go for it. You know, West Wing is one of my favorite television shows of all time.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And for decades now, almost, they've been talking about rebooting the West Wing.

[Chris Hoadley]

Better Call Saul. That I can think of.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

But it's very rare.

[Brian Green]

It's very rare. And even though the stories marry at the end, you know the ending point, you see where it's going, you understand what the end is going to be. It is so original. It is. There is so much difference in the two television shows besides the one character or the couple characters that marry those universes. It is so much different in a lot of ways that it stands on its own. You could never watch Breaking Bad and watch Better Call Saul and only would need to understand the ending of Breaking Bad. Maybe the last five episodes, four episodes. But this seems like a carbon copy. But then again, the Office was a carbon copy of another television show called the Office.

[Chris Hoadley]

This is true.

[Brian Green]

And did much better than the original Office, even though a lot of people point to the original. I didn't like the original Office. That was my.

[Chris Hoadley]

The phrase wasn't mine. It wasn't my thing either. I tried.

[Brian Green]

I thought it was a little mean spirited where there was something very soft and sweet about.

[Chris Hoadley]

And I think, well, Steve Carell, I mean, that's the thing. You get Steve Carell with the original Office and he's just. He's one of a kind.

[Brian Green]

Steve Carell.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. It's hard. It's gonna be hard to drop that type of character into the new one.

[Brian Green]

Jim, Pam, Steve, Dwight Schrute, and then fill it in with all the background characters that did such a fucking fantastic job. Each and every one of them becomes their own little nugget, their own little jewelry. You want to hear what they have to say each time they pop up on screen? You're happy that they're there. There's not a dud in the group. Like even Kelly Kapowski. Oh, I want to see Kelly Kapowski.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. No, all of them were fantastic.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So here's to hoping that they find the same kind of chemistry. But that chemistry also. There's a magic that happens there. What's her name. What was her name was on the show.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Meredith. I can't remember her name now. Why can't I remember her name? Anyway, Meredith. The lady who played Meredith was on our show and she said, if I had one regret in life, it's that I didn't sit in those moments. Sit in that. Like when we were filming, when we were there, when we were the hottest thing since sliced bread, and realize what a magic moment this really is, that you don't usually get this twice. Right. All these people making this kind of television history in a way that is really gelling, and you just kind of sit there and absorb it. So here's to hoping.

[Chris Hoadley]

We'll see.

[Brian Green]

I hope.

[Chris Hoadley]

Sorry I took you off topic, though. We were just talking about streaming. Streaming and shows and the office.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Well, here's what I was going to say about, about streaming. My larger point about streaming and television is that the television is really, finally, officially broken. It's just broken. Late night television is soon to be gone. I don't think Jimmy Kimmel will renew his contract. We already know what's happening at the Late Show. The great, great Late show with Stephen Colbert is unfortunately. We can all argue about reasons, but is unfortunately no longer going to be around.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's got a pop up somewhere else.

[Brian Green]

He will be on a podcast and it will be on video, and he will be probably as popular as. Conan needs a friend. It. You know, Conan did the right thing.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Conan went where the, the, where the viewership was, your earballs were. And he has largely made a ton of money and gotten all the cachet that he needs doing a podcast, just like we do. He's. He has exactly the same amount of cachet that the commercial break does.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Conan open invitation to come on the show. I don't even think I. You know, we get a lot of people on this show, but I don't even think Conan's people accept our phone calls when we say, hey, can you go get Conan? I don't even think they return emails because they see us as a threat, Chrissy. That's why. Okay, okay. But everybody's gone. Stern is probably likely that the old guard of television and radio, television and radio are officially dead. Podcasting, vodcasting, whatever the fuck we're calling it these days, is the new medium and streaming. But Netflix accomplished something that I think even they may not have intended to do, and that is break television. It will never be the same again. And I say that because late night is a beloved format, but it hasn't been relevant in years. Yeah, and Jimmy Kimmel.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, a lot of people aren't watching the main networks anymore, except for sports.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. That's it then. That's really the only reason television exists. Those, like, channels exist. Reruns. Sports and prestige tv. That's it. If you give them a reason to come, like a Breaking Bad or a Better Call Saul, you'll get them to show up once a fucking week. Otherwise, stream it and try and figure out how to get someone to pay 499amonth for it. We tried to get someone to figure out how to pay 499amonth for this. We got one. One subscriber, one, guys. Now grander. That was episode 10 when we were trying to do that, but. All right, we're way past the break. Let's take a break. Shop tcb podcast.com. the window is closing this Friday. So if you do not order your march by march, your merch by this Friday, then unfortunately for you, you will not be able to order the merch. And don't come at begging and asking me whether you can get the merch. And do you have any extra, because we won't. We don't. We're not giving it to you. You get to buy it this time, but maybe next time we'll give it to you. Okay, we'll take a break. We'll be back.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

Let me do something Brian has never done.

[Brian Green]

Be brief.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break, text or call us 212-4333, tcb. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos that you YouTube.com the commercial break and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

[Brian Green]

You know, we have all been paying attention to Harry and Bob or whatever the other guy's name is and their wives and all the mischief that they've been up to. We have all been paying attention to them entirely too much, in my opinion. I said this when. You know.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, I agree. I'm not a big royal. No, like, obsessive royal person.

[Brian Green]

But you know what I can get into? I can get into Meghan Markle with that girl on that podcast. Have you seen those clips going around? Let me. I'll play one for you. Okay, let me play one for you, Megan. Podcast. Interview. Interview I don't even have to put her last name. It'll already know who I'm talking about. Here you go. Quote, unquote, the most insufferable conversation ever. Are you ready for this? Okay, here we go.

[Chris Hoadley]

Great.

[Brian Green]

Here's part one.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

First question. Because I think in friendship it's so important and I think so many people also have this question for you is, you know, Megan, how are you? And are you okay?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's so kind. I am. I'm better than okay. How are you?

[Jamie Kern Lima]

I know you always make it about me today, which, by the way, I just have to say you are the most generous friend. You show up for your friends. Today I just get to talk about you, which I'm excited.

[Chris Hoadley]

Who is that?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

How are you doing?

[Brian Green]

This is a girl that. I have no idea. I had no idea this person existed. Hold on, let me see. Jamie Kern Lima, the host of the Jamie Kern Lena show podcast, which is a terrible name for a podcast. The Jamie Kern Lima Show Podcast. Okay. All right. If that's not confusing enough, also a guest shark on Shark Tank. Best best selling author and founder of IT Cosmetics.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Her voice, pretty big is. Now, a lot of people have said this about me too, so I'm not throwing stones in a glass house, but her voice drives me crazy. It is a Valley girl with all of that. What do they call that? Throat.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Whatever it is, you're building their confidence and their self esteem. A word that I use a lot with them is yet you know, and how to reframe things for a kids when like, I can't do it. I can't do it yet.

[Chris Hoadley]

No, I'm not. Well, anyways, look, we're focused on her now.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The more that you put into practice these ideas of like, put yet at the end of nearly every sentence and you feel like there's still hope and a promise that you can do it.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Yes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But when I type that to my children before I go to bed, guess what? Like, I'm teaching that to them. Or I'm reinforcing that, but I'm also reinforcing it for myself.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Yes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Like, I don't know yet.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Yet.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm not sure.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

I'm just gonna say that applies to every adult. That applies to me right now. All of us.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yet. Oh, such a powerful word yet. Chrissy, we haven't gotten that $20 million contract yet. Chrissy. No one. Neither of us have been to jail yet. Chrissy. We haven't died yet. Yeah, it's on. It's in sufferable. So while we're all paying attention to these folks. Guess what's happening in Norway?

[Chris Hoadley]

Do tell.

[Brian Green]

Norway is the real trauma, Okay?

[Chris Hoadley]

I mean, it's cold there. They've got a cool train, I think that goes up through the Arctic Circle. They've got the northern lights. Give me some good stuff.

[Brian Green]

Norway sounds like a great place, right? Home of beautiful, beautiful people, but apparently. And home to some of the most popular royals in the world by population. They are extraordinarily popular with their population, which is a very small population, by the way. Not a ton of people live in Norway.

[Chris Hoadley]

I didn't realize they had royals still.

[Brian Green]

They do. And I don't. Ask me how it works. I don't know if it's a royal republic. I don't. Who fucking knows? I don't. I don't know. But Spain still has royals. Did you know that? But the son of Norway's crown prince, who is not. He's not a direct descendant of the royals. He is from a one night stand that she had with a formal former criminal before she met.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Green]

This is, this is as dramatic as it goes, but he's been in the spotlight since he was a child and he's been in trouble since he was a child. He's been arrested for drugs. He was arrested for assault. He's been. He's. He's been in all kind of trouble. Just yesterday he was arrested on four count them. Four counts of grape. I'm not going to say the word because then it'll get banned. Four counts of grape.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, I see what you're saying.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And essay. So figure that one out too. This is how all the kids are doing it these days, so you don't get banned by YouTube. He admitted to causing bodily harm to a woman while he was under the influence of cocaine and alcohol. And he additionally had to pay restitution after he trashed an apartment that he was renting. This guy is like completely out of fucking control. There's a picture of him.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I've seen stuff about him.

[Brian Green]

Anytime you got the dual earrings still in 20, 25. Either that's a Norway thing or. Or you're just a troublemaker. I mean, I don't know anybody who wears two earrings anymore, but. Okay, but then that's not all, because then the sister of the Crown Prince is 48 years old and about a couple years ago she came to America and she met a black man. A black man, right, is probably enough to cause a holster in Norway, I think now, I don't know Because I'm not claiming that Norway's a racist country. I don't know, I'm sure they have their prejudices just like every other country in the world. But you can imagine that the white is snow. Norway royal family.

[Chris Hoadley]

I was gonna say they might just have a prejudice against anybody that's not blonde.

[Brian Green]

True. That's true. Blonde and blue eyed. Right. And I don't know that to be the truth either. I'm sure there are black people who live in Norway and are, are living, you know, perfectly fine. I'm not, I'm not gonna put words in anybody's mouth, but this has caused quite a stir amongst the tabloids and all this other stuff. And not only is there is this a mixed couple in a very stodgy royal family, but then go one step further. And this guy claims to be a non human alien who can regenerate his own cells, limbs, eyeballs. He claims to be from an outer space, a different universe. He's clairvoyant and he's here to save the world. He is a guru, a clairvoyant guru out of California. He is a wild, wild character and he's marrying or married into the royal family. So now a direct descendant or a descendant. Not a direct descendant, but a descendant for the royal family where they spent over three and a half million dollars to get married in the beautiful slopes of Norway where Stevie Wonder played at the wedding. Okay, Stevie fucking Wonder. I love you, Stevie. I love you. Get your bag. Play that wedding with the alien regenerative.

[Chris Hoadley]

Why not?

[Brian Green]

It's insane. The story is insane.

[Chris Hoadley]

Go off Norway.

[Brian Green]

Go Norway. It was your time to step up. We haven't heard much from you in

[Chris Hoadley]

the last couple of years. Let's get some other royal scandals.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Going on.

[Brian Green]

The last time we heard from you, there were a couple of other American men running around trying to repopulate your. Wasn't that in Norway where all those ladies bought that sperm from that.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, was that a Norway?

[Brian Green]

Was Norway or sweet? It was a Norway or Sweden, I can't remember.

[Chris Hoadley]

I thought it was Norway, Denmark or something like that.

[Brian Green]

They were up there somewhere in the Nordic. And this is just awesome to be. I mean I think this is so funny. And now the whole royal family's like popularity is just plunging and people are, people who were for the royals are now against the royals and the tabloids are going wild and the whole family is under scandal and scrutiny. I mean like we were, we're paying attention to Charles bickering with, you know, the two boys and what we should have been paying attention to the whole time was the Norway. How do you call it? The Norrish. Are they Norwegian? Norwegian. There you go. Norrish.

[Chris Hoadley]

They're Norrish.

[Brian Green]

God, you're Norrish. The Norrish. Royals are crazy. They're insane.

[Chris Hoadley]

I love this. Yeah, I'm gonna turn on my alerts for that one.

[Brian Green]

Let me. Let me see if I can read more about this, about this guy for you.

[Chris Hoadley]

Hold on one second. I do remember reading about this and. But all I saw that was he was maybe like a self help guy.

[Brian Green]

He's a self help guru. He's a life coach. But then he claims he can regenerate his own body.

[Chris Hoadley]

And that always goes well for those people that claim that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, listen, I. I don't even know.

[Chris Hoadley]

He might be the first, though. Who knows?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Royal scandal wedding. Hold on one second. Yes.

[Chris Hoadley]

How the Norrish.

[Brian Green]

Martha Louise's wedding. How Princess Martha Louise's wedding to us. Shaman has stirred up shaman.

[Chris Hoadley]

Even better.

[Brian Green]

Princess Martha Louise, 52, will marry celebrity Shaman. I think this was. Oh yeah, I think this was last year. They got engaged. In 2019 and 2022, she dropped her duties as a royal to work on the couple's commercial interest. Let's see who is. I want to find out more about the guy. Local media locked out of the wedding. But it's rumored that Stevie. Netflix confirmed it's creating a documentary that follows the couple's story. Yes, good for you, Netflix. You may have broken tv, but at least you got the good documentaries they do. All right, and then who is this guy? We gotta find out the drama surrounding the wedding. To be fair, when Princess Martha got engaged, no one expected a run of the mill wedding. The daughter of King Harold and Queen Sonja, the fourth in line to the Norwegian throne, has always lived an unconventional lifestyle. A self proclaimed clairvoyant and alternative therapist, she once.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, so she was already in that world.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she was already in that world. She once opened up an angel school that taught healing techniques as well as how to contact your. Celestial. Celestial.

[Chris Hoadley]

She's the Teresa Caputo, the Norway of the Norrish.

[Brian Green]

Yes. After much criticism, in 2019, the Royal Court confirmed she would no longer be using her title as a princess during her business activities. In 2022, she stopped doing royal activities altogether. Meanwhile, Verrett, her husband, has battled accusations of promoting pseudoscience and has a long history of legal troubles. During the pandemic, Verrett came under fire for selling a medallion that he argued could ward off COVID 19. Yet even with all this considered, the lead up to the nuptials is causing more of an unexpected stir. Odd behavior, for instance, Verrett told out news outlets. Although the couple was introduced by a mutual friend, they'd actually met in a past life.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, duh.

[Brian Green]

I. Who hasn't? Yeah, I find I have memories of us in Egypt and she was my queen and I was a pharaoh, he told People magazine, the most reputable of magazines yet. Soon, papers began accusing the shaman of spreading misinformation. He's been talking about removing bad spirits from children, said a journalist for the Norwegian newspaper. In 2021, he left me a series of voicemails and tried to convince me of the existence of the Illuminati in Norway. It's kind of. It's kind of important that people know just how far outside the normal he is. Before I met him, Martha told Vanity Fair. I never thought there was any racism in Norway. Normally, the press office of the royal family will share images of a wedding to multiple news outlets at no cost due to public interest. However, the couple has insisted. Hasn't said decided to only give one publication an exclusive for their wedding. That will be with hello. Magazine.

[Chris Hoadley]

Good old hello.

[Brian Green]

They sold their wedding photos, apparently for millions of dollars. This has caused quite the uproar with the press. To avoid conflict, the head of commission communications of the royal family has said that the rest of the Norwegian family will refrain from taking other photos at the wedding. Wow. It's just like that's the whole thing. Yeah, it's a. These, these two. I wanna. These are the two I want to have on the show.

[Chris Hoadley]

Definitely.

[Brian Green]

I love you, Dusty, but before I get a follow up with you, I want to have Queen Martha on the show.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Yes, Bella, make it happen. Make it. So Bella doesn't listen to our show, but if Bella did, I want Queen Martha and Verrette on our show and see what's going on. I want to talk to them in their past lives and see what kind of.

[Chris Hoadley]

They seem interesting spicing things up.

[Brian Green]

Hey, listen, listen, there is a. There is a podcast out there and I'm not going to name the podcast because I. The guy has supposedly 13 million followers on Instagram, but I think about half a million of those might be real. If you know who I'm talking. If you know, you know, I K Y N K D y and I think he's a total charlatan. But anyway, he has all these people on who claim they were past lives and they can, you know, speak to angels and weird beings and he always makes these, like, clickbaity type reels. But every once in a while, I see a reel from his account and I'm like, I would like to have one of those people on. There's, like, the people who speak it. They're in past lives, and they're speaking as if they're the person in the past life.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right, right, right.

[Brian Green]

You know, kind of like, who's that famous person who did that once? What was her name? Wasn't there the lady who said she was the queen of. She was. Who was it not? Mariel Hemingway. Marielle Hemingway. Do you know, I'm talking about.

[Chris Hoadley]

She did say something about past life stuff.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Wasn't she, like, you know, Cleopatra or something in a past life? And she showed up on Barbara Walters as Cleopatra? I think that stuff is so wild, and I'd love to hear more about it, especially if it's the Queen of Norway. You. I mean, you just can't get much better than that.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So anyway, the royal family of Norway, we're keeping an eye on you. You are on the radar of the commercial break. For good, bad or indifferent, we have you in our sights, in our sight.

[Chris Hoadley]

All right, I like it.

[Brian Green]

Keeping an eye on it.

[Chris Hoadley]

You can be the royal correspondent.

[Brian Green]

I am going to be the royal correspondent.

[Chris Hoadley]

Norway edition.

[Brian Green]

Yes, I'm calling in. I'm calling in Queen Martha and Prince Barrett for a parent teacher conference. Yes. Come to the commercial break. Come do the commercial and try and be on time. Respect our time. Okay?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

All right.

[Brian Green]

No one's gonna get that. Anyway, while we're speaking about it, since we were speaking about it much, many thanks to Dusty Slay for coming in, and to Brett, quite frankly, dustyslay.com go listen to the interview, watch the special. You know how to do it. And when you get your gear, tag us in Instagram and we will throw you up on the Instagram. And we're going to be giving away some additional free merch, but you got to make sure you tag us on Instagram to do that. 2124333 TCB 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas? We've been getting so many text messages. Chrissy, nice word words for you. Nice words for Astrid, mainly ignoring me and then telling us that they have, in fact, bought the merch. I got South Georgia, Sean and a bunch of the regulars just letting us know that they're supporting the show. So very sweet of all of you.

[Chris Hoadley]

Thank you.

[Brian Green]

We really appreciate it. And I'd like to get South Georgia Sean on the show soon because he has some stories about catching an alligator or something.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's gotta have just a wealth of stories.

[Brian Green]

He sent me a picture of the

[Chris Hoadley]

other day

[Brian Green]

and in a totally unmarried kind of way. He's a handsome dude. I'll show you the picture. He's a handsome dude. Not what you would expect. You would not expect this to be South Georgia Shaw. Anyway. All right. TCB podcast.com that is the website. You can pre order the merch there. Also all the audio, all the video right there from one location at the commercial break on it on Instagram to tag us and keep up with us and all that good stuff. And YouTube.com the commercial break for all the videos the same day. They air here on the audio. Go follow and subscribe. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now, I think. So tell you that I love you.

[Chris Hoadley]

And I love you.

[Brian Green]

That's to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say goodbye. Sa.