Questions Remain...

Summary

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The Commercial Break

Episode: Questions Remain...

Date: August 7, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Overview

This episode is classic "The Commercial Break": loose, improvisational hilarity from best-friend hosts Bryan and Krissy, weaving through topics from concert experiences at Las Vegas’s mind-blowing Sphere venue, to the nuances of “getting roasted” onstage, to serious notes about boundaries and online hate. The main threads are (1) a deep-dive riff on the new Sphere concert experience, (2) anticipation and planning for an upcoming "Roast Battle" episode featuring the hosts themselves, and (3) a candid conversation about harassment, boundaries, and responding to hate online, using a wild moment from reality TV as a springboard.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Las Vegas Sphere: "An Accomplishment in Human History"

(00:35 – 22:25)

• Sphere’s Origins & Details:

  • Bryan gushes about the Sphere’s genesis—a $2.3 billion project with 18,600 seats, 16K resolution, and over 500,000 square feet of LED screens.
    • "It's the most amazing entertainment experience... Human history has never seen anything like this." (05:19, Bryan)
  • The sound system has 1,586 speakers, “4D” effects like scent, wind, and rumble—“It’s like a Disney ride times a million.” (06:32)

• Concert Experiences:

  • Notable acts: U2, Phish, Grateful Dead, Eagles, and upcoming EDM acts.
  • Krissy plans to see the Grateful Dead there. Bryan requests she use a chest POV camera to document the experience (02:10).

• Sphere’s Unique Magic:

  • Unlike other venues, the Sphere's tech creates the sensation that every attendee has a “sweet spot” for audio and visuals.
    • “No matter where you go... it’s directed directly at your ears. Crystal clear, crisp, like headsets on.” (09:11, Bryan)
  • Bryan recounts concert visuals: e.g., the pre-show Grateful Dead “rafters” illusion and trippy San Francisco flyover.
    • “I want high fidelity acid. I want mushrooms... give me all the things. I want blowing brunch.” (11:56, Bryan)

• Vegas Anecdotes & Legal Weed Tangent:

  • The pair trade stories about Vegas, legal weed, and odd dispensary protocols, including child-proof orange “Ziploc” bags that allegedly “change colors” if opened prematurely:
    • “Is it like an exploding paint bag, like a bank robbery?” (12:50, Bryan)
    • These stories morph into nostalgic memories of wild hotel stays, music festivals, and oddball Vegas experiences.

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2. Roast Battle with Brian Moses & Setting Boundaries

(22:42 – 41:55)

• Big News: TCB to Do a Roast Battle!

  • Recap of comedian Brian Moses’s recent guest spot; he invited Bryan and Krissy to battle each other at a live Roast Battle event.
  • “Let’s go, let’s beat it up onstage, hug it out after... the tea kettle needs to release some steam sometimes.” (26:20, Bryan)

• Rules of Engagement: Off-Limits Topics

  • Krissy draws clear boundaries: her sister’s passing is off-limits for roasting, as is close family. Bryan whole-heartedly agrees.
    • “There’s just a couple things that are going to be off the table.” (26:58, Krissy)
    • “Yeah, I wouldn’t go there. Never.” (28:40, Bryan)
  • Brief, heartfelt discussion about Krissy’s recent family losses and mental health, with a public service announcement for cancer screenings.

• Roast Battle Logistics & Listener Involvement

  • Open call for listeners to send in roast zingers (not too mean-spirited!), and to help set topics/rules.
    • "Text us your one-liners!" (34:32, Bryan)
  • Betting pool jokes: maybe someone in Vegas will take a line on who wins (35:06).
  • Humorous reflection on writing roasts for people you know well, and putting guardrails in place to protect their friendship.

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3. Toxic Relationships: Personal Stories and Advice

(39:10 – 41:41)

• Bryan confides about a past relationship so toxic it “ate him from the inside out,” and candidly discusses how hard it can be to leave (“You know, if you feel that little voice…”).
  • “There are relationships that will eat you from the inside out... If that's the case... hang on to a friend, get them to drag you out.” (40:13, Bryan)
• Krissy relates and agrees: escaping a bad relationship requires outside help and support.

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4. Reality TV, Harassment, and Drawing Boundaries

(43:27 – 56:30)

• Harassment Story from My Big Fat Fabulous Life

  • Bryan recounts a disturbing scene: the reality show’s star, Whitney, is targeted with eggs and a hateful note at her home.
    • “She obviously gets upset... her family consoles her... millions love you.” (47:44, Bryan)
  • Both hosts are disgusted by the effort haters put into harassing someone because they dislike her appearance or message.
    • “How hateful do you have to be... you could just turn off the TV?” (47:44, Bryan)

• Reflections on Online Hate and Boundaries

  • Krissy, reflecting on therapy, advocates strong boundaries with toxic people (49:03).
    • "If you do this, I'm not going to engage..." (49:03, Chrissy)
  • Bryan and Krissy agree: unhappy people take out their pain on others, but it’s not normal or healthy.
    • “People think being online gives magical powers to dehumanize anyone they find irritating.” (50:04, Bryan)
  • Brief tangent on the reality (or construction) of reality TV drama, with both hosts agreeing it was a real, damaging incident.

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5. Personal Growth, Empathy, and Coping

(54:09 – 56:30)

• Both hosts discuss weight, health, emotional eating, major life changes, and self-acceptance.
  • “When I got divorced, I lost 60 pounds in a year... it was my depression bowl: ramen with nacho cheese, Ritz crackers, hot sauce...” (54:46, Bryan)
• Both agree: everyone’s weight fluctuates; empathy is key.
• Coping with anger: Bryan’s lighthearted approach is self-deprecating.
  • “Write it in your journal. Whack it off... that's what I do!” (55:40, Bryan)
  • Krissy quotes her grandfather: “Put it on a Frisbee and throw it into the field.”

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6. Upcoming Topics and Live Shows

(56:30 – End)

• Tease for future episode: "bad romance novel passages."
• Live show dates announced: September 24th (Donya Point) and 25th (Orlando).
  • “Keep planning to come and do!” (58:04, Bryan)
• Website, hotline, and social handles repeated for listeners to submit roasts or get show details.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "It's like a Disney ride times a million." — Bryan, on the Sphere's immersive experience (06:34)
• "No matter where you go in the building... it is directed directly at your ears... it's like you have headsets on." — Bryan, on the Sphere sound system (09:11)
• "High-fidelity acid. Mushrooms. Blowing brunch. In Vegas!" — Bryan, planning his ultimate concert trip (11:56)
• "Let’s go, let's beat it up onstage, hug it out after... the tea kettle needs to release some steam." — Bryan, on the Roast Battle (26:20)
• "There’s just a couple things that are going to be off the table." — Krissy, on roast boundaries (26:58)
• "If it hadn't happened yet, it probably ain’t going to happen." — Bryan, about their long-term platonic friendship (37:58)
• "Some relationships will eat you from the inside out... if you know this, hang on to a friend and say: drag me out." — Bryan (40:13)
• "If you do this, I’m not going to engage." — Krissy, on boundaries (49:03)
• "People think being online gives magical powers to dehumanize anyone they find irritating." — Bryan (50:04)
• "Write it in your journal. Whack it off... that’s what I do!" — Bryan, on coping (55:41)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:35 – 22:25: Sphere discussion: history, tech, concert plans & related Vegas anecdotes
• 22:42 – 41:55: Roast Battle reveal; boundaries; emotional segment on family loss; roast rules & listener involvement
• 43:27 – 56:30: Harassment & boundaries: reality TV story, hate online, coping strategies
• 56:30 – End: Upcoming show tease (“worst romance novel writing”); live show/date announcements

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Tone & Takeaway

The episode is a funny, empathetic, and totally unfiltered blend of pop culture curiosity, personal confession, and sly meta-humor. Bryan and Krissy’s chemistry and openness keep even the darkest or strangest tangents feeling relatable and cathartic, as they shift deftly from technical geekery to survivor’s wisdom to “dumb guy at the bar” joking. If you want friendly chaos plus realness with your comedy, this is your Cheesecake Factory of podcasts.

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How to Participate

• Send roast lines or topics to 212-433-3822 or DM them on TCB social channels.
• Vote for Bryan or Krissy in their upcoming Roast Battle (Google doc coming soon!).
• For live show ticket updates or content, visit tcbpodcast.com.

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Best to you, and best to you out there in the podcast universe!

Transcript

[Chrissy]

Laura would like a word with you in her office.

[Brian]

Laura, I think what's happened is they finally figured out that I don't even know what the hell this company does. On this episode of the commercial break. But I will share with you that whatever kind of absolute, you know, cauldron of bullshit was going on, it was terrible.

[Astrid]

You take a little Brian, and then you take a little salsa, and then you take some cupcakes.

[Chrissy]

And a broken window.

[Astrid]

And a broken window. And wa.

[Brian]

Bam.

[Astrid]

Ryan's borderline dead. He's dead on the inside. Will he die on the outside? We don't know. Question mark.

[Brian]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cows and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Swift of my roan, Kristen Joy. Holy best to you, Chris. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Hope you're feeling a little cheeky today. I know I am. Thank you very much. Whenever I press the aliens button, you know we're on fire. Just to let you know, that's when I get really excited. I'm like, let's get the aliens in there. I've had too much coffee. Let's get the aliens in there. I've had too much coffee, and I'm mad about something. Let's get aliens in there. Have you been keeping up with the musical trends of the summer somewhat by listening to a lot of Widespread Panic?

[Chrissy]

No, I've been really listening to that. Charlie. Xcx.

[Brian]

Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Now you got to tell everybody. You are going to go see the Grateful Dead at the Sphere, which I know I'm not just hitting you over the head with this right now, but you are going to go and see that fucking Grateful Dead.

[Chrissy]

Well, you're thinking about it.

[Brian]

You're thinking about it.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian]

You should go do it. Wow. You got to give us a full report. I want video and audio. I want to see everything. Can you please just keep your. Can you have. Get one of those. You know, people, like, ride roller coasters.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian]

With the big. They have, like, a chest thing, and their phone is in the chest thing, and then they just, you know, point of the POV camera. Yeah. Could you do a POV for us?

[Chrissy]

I think so.

[Brian]

We can just edit out all the drugs and alcohol, but you just, you know, just do the POV and then we can watch it together.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. I'm really excited to see this thing. I mean, by all accounts, it's amazing. It's really. I mean, anything I've Seen on the socials, like, looks incredible.

[Brian]

When they first started talking about the sphere, which was a decade ago, the guy.

[Chrissy]

That's the Madison Square Garden, right?

[Brian]

Msg. Yeah, he owns the MSG and this. Yeah. And then he owns professional sports teams of some version, I don't know. But he had this idea a decade ago. He said, I want to. I want to build the world's most advanced audio theater for like that breaks walls and barriers and I want bands to be able to play in there. And it's just going to be the most amazing entertaining experience. Because he's obviously a fan of music. He bought Ms. And a lot of other theaters or entertainment complex that went with msg. And he put a lot of money into that. And he's done very well for himself or is doing very. I guess he's doing very well from. I don't own this fear. And lots of people said, not possible. You're gonna. And then he. I don't know if it was him or the architect that came up with like this round feeder idea. Okay, all right, 60 degree view, IMAX times two. Let's put two IMAXes together. Yeah, all around. 360 degree video, audio, all this. The thing was, no one bit off on the idea, couldn't find the financing. Everyone told him he was crazy. He's going to spend a lot of money, he's going to go nowhere with it. It's just another fucking vanity project. And there's lots of those in history that are basically, there's a lot of people in debt because of vanity projects that didn't work out. Right. But that's what guys and girls like this do. They take huge risks, and if it works out, they get paid handsomely. Like they're rewarded royally. But if they it don't work out, it spells big trouble for everybody involved. So lenders and people in finance world are like, I don't want to be any part of this. No one's ever done this before. So it's almost a blessing that it took so much time for it to come to fruition because as time went on it, he was able to. They were able to get it more advanced and more advanced to the point where now this is firsthand reporting from friends who were at the fish shows who were probably nowhere near the right state of mind. So I'm just sharing this with you. Yeah. And I saw some videos and it's like everybody's taking videos and staring at the ceiling.

[Chrissy]

That would be so cool. I mean, I actually went into A into a store the other day and there were people that I did not think were in the demographic of the sphere, but they were talking about how they went. I mean I think a lot of people just want to go just to check this out, but they were talking about how the stuff seats move and it was just so incredible. And you know, if you have height fears of height too, you might want.

[Brian]

To be down low.

[Chrissy]

Think about that. Because there's a lot going on with just the visuals of this thing.

[Brian]

Yes, there's a lot going on. Let me. I just want to get a couple of the. The details here and I want to get them correctly because we get so much incorrectly that I'd like to try and to get something right. 18,600 seats.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian]

16K resolution. 50 580,000 square feet of LED display. 366ft high. 516ft wide. $2.3 billion. 2.3 billion billion. 23 seats are included. The video screens are one. It's 100 square feet of video screen. It's 268 million pixels. Wow. That's insane. The sound system. There are 1586 permanently installed speakers and 300 mobile nodules modules with 99 of the system being hidden behind the screen. It's equipped with. That's too. That's too. That's too much for you. I can't even describe that. I know about it. Yes, but you don't know about it. I understand, but you won't understand. So I'm not going to tell you about that. 16 channel amplification. That's. Wow. It's. The 4D effects include scent, wind haptic technology.

[Chrissy]

Yes, scent and wind.

[Brian]

Scent and win. Wow. That's insane. It's like a Disney ride times a million.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. I'm super excited.

[Brian]

That's incredible. They. I think they have rumble boxes under the seats. So everything that you could ever want in an entertainment system times a million with exactly 15,800 of your other friends. So YouTube played first, fish came second. Now we're in the Grateful Dead era and there's a lot. Eagles are coming up. I don't know why the Eagles are.

[Chrissy]

Coming up, but the eagles are coming up. And then there's an EDM show which was just confirmed, which I was telling Brian. That's not really my genre. My go to music. But.

[Brian]

No but at this. Yes.

[Chrissy]

Gonna be incredible.

[Brian]

I might be. I might be convinced if someone gets me a ticket. If there's someone out there that's gonna go to this EDM thing. Or any show at the Sphere, and you'd like a friend to go along with you and probably babble the entire time about a 1600 square driver meter XDX scramble box, then feel free to bring me along. Yeah, I promise. You just do the drugs and I'll show and I'll just talk the entire time, which you can put me in a seat three seats away from you and it'll be okay. But I would love to go. But I will go. But I.

[Chrissy]

You will go? Yes.

[Brian]

I think next time, like a fish show comes, I would love to go to the Grateful Dead. I like Grateful Dead. I think they're. I think they're great. And there was a long time in my life, like a 10 year period where the Grateful Dead was on rotation for sure.

[Chrissy]

But I think you go through ending their residency there.

[Brian]

Yeah, I think you go through ebbs and flows with certain bands and certain music styles and stuff like that. So it's just not on the top of my list right now. Currently, I'm listening to a lot of Seline Dion Yesterday shift. When did I say I listened to the Grateful Dead? Yesterday? No, I watched a video when you.

[Chrissy]

Came in the studio and you were humming and you're like. I was listening to the Grateful Dead earlier.

[Brian]

What? Oh, yeah, I was watching a video. Yes. Of someone at the Grateful Dead show. I was humming this. I was watching. That's not that. I never listen to the Grateful Dead. I think it's like every other thing that I scroll on is Grateful that. But I don't. I'm not, like, listening to it, like, you know, sitting down here like I am. Um, but this is. This is an amazing accomplishment in human history.

[Chrissy]

It really is.

[Brian]

According to my friends who went to the fish show, it doesn't matter where you stand in the theater. And he was, like, moving around, right? He's like a real fish head. He finds a way to get on the floor no matter what ticket he gets. He's like. He's. He has a side. Do you know what I'm saying? You have a side, too, right? Don't you? You stand on the school side. Am I right about that?

[Chrissy]

No, you're not.

[Brian]

School side.

[Chrissy]

No.

[Brian]

What are you? Which side are you? I'm.

[Chrissy]

Whatever.

[Brian]

Okay.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian]

All right. Wherever.

[Chrissy]

The vip.

[Brian]

Yeah. He's like. He's like, page side. Whatever that means. Okay, we're pages. Run for the fish. All right. So he said that no matter where you go in the building while the music is playing, it is directed directly at your ears. There's it doesn't matter. It all sounds the same. Crystal clear, crisp, as if you had headsets on. He's like, it's just an accomplishment. It's way weird. You know, like when you go to a science museum and they put one seat like one egg shaped sheet. One egg shaped sheet. Crochet, crashing.

[Astrid]

I love you.

[Brian]

That's what she just learned how to say. And she goes, I love you. Oh, she's so cute. There's in one egg shaped, egg shaped. Shaped on one side and then another shaped seat on that side. And then you. Two eggs. Yes. You say hello. And amazingly, it comes through as if they're talking right next to you. Wow, that's like he said that it's a similar experience. Add to that all of the graphics that have to be specially made because it's got so many pixels, it's like, you know, 160,000 square feet. So they have to specially do this. He's. And what's amazing about the Fish show, specifically in Grateful Dead, is that it's different sets every night, but the visuals largely. I mean, Fish did only. What did they do, 10 shows there or something?

[Chrissy]

Something like that.

[Brian]

So they did 10 different visuals. I'm sure a lot of them repeated in different order, but they did different songs. They didn't reap. They only repeated a number of songs every night. But the Grateful Dead, they're a wily bunch. You can't tell them where to go. They just do what they do. That John Mayer, he's high, really high. He wears a headset on stage. I think it's so funny. He's in his own world. And I just saw a picture of the Grateful Dead facing the screen because there's a famous visual which I don't know if you've seen it, but it. When you walk of the sphere with the Grateful Dead, when you walk into the theater, apparently there is a visual up when you walk into the Grateful Dead show before it starts that makes it look like the rafters.

[Chrissy]

Yes, I did hear this.

[Brian]

And so people who went in for the first time, now it's been talked about a lot, but people going for the first time thought that the screens had been taken down and there were just rafters and there was gonna be like some magic that was gonna happen or something like that. The magic that happened was the. The video started to split open like a lightning strike, like they have on some of their stickers. And what was happening was you were on. You were in Haight Ashbury on Rainbow Row, where they Started. The Grateful Dead started. And they take you, like, on a magical flying experience through San Francisco and up into the universe, right?

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian]

I want high fidelity acid. I want mushrooms. I want ecstasy. I want. Give me all the things I want blowing breakfast. I want blowing brunch.

[Chrissy]

You know, when in Vegas.

[Brian]

Oh, yeah. Where are the cops on all this? That's what I still. I'm still stuck in my 1990s Grateful Dead show fish show mode. Yeah. Where are the cops? Like, I mean, you know, we always used to be so scared about going to those shows and having just a little bit of weed on us or a couple hits of acid stuck at the bottom of our shoe or some like that. You would think the cops just stand.

[Chrissy]

Acid anymore also, too.

[Brian]

Oh, I would. I would. Why not?

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I mean, a lot of the stuff's legal now, so.

[Brian]

Yeah, that's true.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian]

I mean, weed is legal in Vegas, so you can smoke it, but, you know, they put it in that, like, Ziploc, like some kind of, I don't know, special locking device that you can't open until you get to. Back to the hotel or something.

[Chrissy]

It's really weird.

[Brian]

Yeah. They have to walk out of the place in, like, some special Ziploc bag. And if it's orange, I don't know, somebody can explain this to me, but the guy was making me really scared to take anything out anywhere but the hotel room. He was like, it'll turn colors and then the cops will know. And I'm like, oh, the cops will know. What, is it like a. Is it like an exploding paint bag? Like a bank robbery? If I open it up, is it gonna blow up all over me?

[Chrissy]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, so you're talking about. There's. Hold on, back up. So if you take a little weed and put it into these special bags that they give you with the sphere.

[Brian]

No.

[Chrissy]

Is that what you're saying?

[Brian]

Okay. I went to. I stayed at the world's shittiest roach motel, Vegas, for a podcast conference. It was unbelievable. Literally dead roaches in my room. It was terrible. It was a terrible, terrible hotel. I won't mention it because if you're gonna go stay there, then I don't want to, like, dissuade you because maybe it's changed or something. But it was, like, really, like, not the greatest hotel in the world. It was a casino hotel.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian]

And it was really, like, from the. Actually Elvis stayed there and used to shoot guns in the suite. So if you can figure out which hotel that is, then there you Go. So I walked a mile and a half.

[Chrissy]

The one they're tearing down, aren't they tearing down one.

[Brian]

The Mirage? I think they just tear down.

[Chrissy]

Is that what it is? Or the Golden Nugget.

[Brian]

They may have told. Torn that down, too. That's like a pastime down there in Vegas. Like, let's blow up a hotel that's 10 years old.

[Chrissy]

Well, did you see. I don't know if you saw that, though, with that specific hotel that. Or that casino that they. They had all this money they had to give away. Because over all of the years, like, under law, Nevada law.

[Brian]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

You have to pay out the money that has. People have never claimed, I guess.

[Brian]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

Or was never paid. So they were doing, like these major jackpot.

[Brian]

Yeah, they were changing the jackpot weekend.

[Chrissy]

I can't even imagine what that was, how overrun those bombarded those places are.

[Brian]

I can tell you because I went to the world's shittiest hotel where that's like a dollar fifty per night. And it was, like, so packed. And it was. It was not. It was a scene. There was a whole scene. I told the story. You can go. Um, so anyway, so I ended up walking like a mile and a half to go to a weed store. Because I was like, oh, weed is legal, right? Let me go to a weed store. And I was with some friends, and we were like, oh, we got to do this at least once, right? Let's. I had never been into a dispensary. Into a dispensary, never. So I was like, let's go. I want to see what this is all about. Let's go and fudgeing. Get a gummy bag or something. You know, we'll hit it up. Let's send me a gummy bag.

[Chrissy]

Tasty.

[Brian]

Yeah, tasty.

[Chrissy]

Teenerg. Gummy.

[Brian]

Yeah. Do you have any Jelly Bellies? Sour Patch Kids? I was going to the candy store. So we went. It was like, in the same plot of land that rundown McDonald's was. And then all, like, they had, you know, massage parlors all around. It was just like, not the best part of town. And they had three separate airlocked doors. You know what I'm saying?

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian]

They do, like, press the buzzer and then there's a big camera. And the guy was like, look into the camera. It was like. This was like, look into the camera. And I was like, hey, bro.

[Chrissy]

Hey, hey.

[Brian]

Have your friend look into the camera. I'm like, okay, what are we doing here? And then the other people looking at the camera Come through. Make sure you lock it behind you. And I was like, okay, and open it. Close it real quick, you know? And then we're, like, in this other room, and it's just like a little tiny hallway.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian]

Shot me already. We're all, like, you know, showing IDs. Show me your face again. Okay, here I am. How big is your penis? It's like, I just want to get some weed. Oh, that's two doors down. This is the massage parlor. So then we get in, and then. Guy was super friendly. Bud tender was like, super.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Brian]

But he was out of everything. Like, he was like, oh, it's been a busy week. You know, we're out. We're waiting on the day. You know, it's hard to get sometimes. Blah, blah, blah. And so he's showing us all these other things. So then everyone gets whatever they get. And he puts it. He.

[Chrissy]

I mean, it's like a menu, too. It's crazy. I've been to the mountain, Colorado. But it's like, you know, if you want to go to sleep, here's what you get. If you want to be peppy. Yeah.

[Brian]

You want to pep in your step.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. This, that, and the other. It's for everything.

[Brian]

Never have I ever. Yeah, pain. Never have I ever said the words. I got stoned, and I was peppy. It's just, never have I ever. I got stoned and I was paranoid. I got stoned and I went to sleep. I got stoned, and I, you know, tried to pee for three hours. Like, I mean, there you go. Anyway, so he says, okay, wrap it up. And then he puts it in this weird Ziploc bag. And the Ziploc bag has, like, a weird locking mechanism on top of it.

[Chrissy]

Okay. And it locks like a child lock, basically.

[Brian]

Almost. Yeah. And he goes, all right, get where you're going, and then open it up there. And I was like, oh, okay. It's not. I thought it was legal. He's like, it is legal, but that thing will turn. Change colors. And the cops see you, whether they bust you. And I was like, what? Why? I have a bleed bag in here or something? What's going on? What do you mean? I didn't understand. So then, you know, I'm already. I'm paranoid about the legal weed now. I'm paranoid about the legal weed. Paint bag's gonna blow up in my face. I'm gonna be orange walking down the street, and the cops are gonna arrest me for opening. We say that. You open your bag. Yeah, you open your bag, Sir. Step out of the car. Step out of the car with your orange face. Did you open your weed bag before you got to the hotel? I. I didn't know. I didn't know. No exotic excuse? I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to rest. 10 years minimum for opening your weed bag. I thought it was legal. It's kind of legal. Semi legal. It's legal once you get where you're going. But it's not legal here in route. It's not legal. Oh, okay. So anyway. But it's illegal in Vegas, so. But I can imagine that's a. That's got to be a hep. Drug scene going on at the Sphere, probably.

[Astrid]

Oh, come on.

[Brian]

I've seen the videos of the girls twirling and whirling, you know, when they're tie dyes. That's not. We don't do that on a regular Tuesday afternoon. I'm sure that some people do, but, you know, most people don't do that on the Tuesday afternoon. You know, they're. They're getting at it. And so. But I mean, it's Vegas and that's where it stays. Where it stays. And listen, there's lots of Bonnaroo and all these other fest. Like, of course there's Dr. Of course there's drugs.

[Chrissy]

Of course.

[Brian]

I remember when was it you and I went. Yeah, when you and I went to Bonnaroo and I had some, like, medicine for my back. Like some muscle relaxers or something. I don't even know what it was. It wasn't anything good. It was just like, you know, I. Sometimes my back gets tweaky and I just. I threw like three of them in a bottle and put them in there. But the. The. The. In the bottle was labeled my name.

[Chrissy]

But remember when we met Ozzy? Was that before or after we met Ozzy?

[Brian]

Ozzy who? Ozzy Oswald. I don't remember meeting Ozzy. Did we meet Ozzy? Ozzy.

[Chrissy]

He's in the lobby of that hotel.

[Brian]

Oh, that's right. Holy. I remember that. That was not a hotel. That was a motel.

[Chrissy]

That's Bonnaroo.

[Brian]

That's Bonnaroo. At best, that was a motel.

[Chrissy]

Anyways, you got the bag and so.

[Brian]

And I had it in the bat and they went through everything, and then they made me, like. They were, like, showing. Looking at my ID and looking at the pill bottle. And I was like, oh, that's a lot of Dr. Muscle relaxers. I mean, I understand if I had some heroin in there. Make sure that I have my legal prescription for Hair.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian]

But anyway, I am super excited. This. This fear has changed entertainment in a way. And. And every. It's not like some people I know.

[Chrissy]

Have gone multiple times.

[Brian]

This guy that I know that went to Fish, he went to, like, six of the 10 concerts, right? I can afford to do that. He's like. He's got some money, but he can afford to do that. But a lot of people that I know have at least been to one of this. Either YouTube, fish, or grateful Dead have been to one of the shows. And this is not hype. This is real. People are like. It lives up to everything everybody's been talking about. Videos do not do it justice, and even the videos are amazing. So if the videos don't do it justice, I can't imagine. I want to go. If anybody wants to bring me to the Sphere for any concert, I will try and get a pass from my wife. But you can at least invite me. If you want to be nice. You can invite all of us to your Sphere box because there's 27 suites.

[Chrissy]

Are there?

[Brian]

Yeah, that's what it said. So I don't know.

[Chrissy]

There are.

[Brian]

Yeah, of course there are. Like, Eddie Vedder was at the U2 concert or something. You think was hanging out with everybody now, of course, not that, but it'll be interesting to see how the Eagles go over. Not my favorite band in the world, admittedly. Like, I'm. It's. It's a little past my time, and it's a lot past my time, actually, and it's not my thing. I do like Don Henley, though.

[Chrissy]

I do like Don Henley.

[Brian]

Like some of his solo stuff a little better than I.

[Chrissy]

Like of the innocence.

[Brian]

Yeah. Mine, I got a dead head sticker on a Cadillac. Little boy inside my head said, don't look back. You can never look back. I can't see you.

[Astrid]

I'm so shining in the sun.

[Brian]

Or one of my other favorites. In a New York minute. You don't know. In a New York minute. Oh, God. That's a. I want to do an episode, and you tell me if you'd like to do this. I want to do an episode, and I don't care. I'll take the chance. I'll demonetize it. I'll talk to our network or whatever. I want to do an episode where we play each other songs and see if we can make each other cry. Like the saddest songs ever. Like, cry. Like, musically cry. I want to. I don't know why, but I just had this idea in my head.

[Chrissy]

I thought you were going to say laugh.

[Brian]

No, we do that all the time. I'm talking about the opposite.

[Chrissy]

Let's make each other cry.

[Brian]

Who wants to weep here on air?

[Chrissy]

Tune in next week when we make each other cry.

[Brian]

Absolutely depressing song. Okay, that went off like a wet fart in church, but hey, it was an idea. I'm trying.

[Chrissy]

There's no wrong in brain brainstorming and.

[Brian]

There'S no wrong in the commercial break because we do have enough episodes. It's okay. We can try something that doesn't work every once in a while. All right, we'll be back and we're going to talk about Brian Moses's appearance. Very controversial. Very. A lot of people are supposedly going to be buzzing about Brian Moses's appearance this week, and Chrissy and I will talk more about that when we get back.

[Chrissy]

Ok.

[Host/Announcer]

What's up, haters? Now let's get down to business. If you've got something to say, say it to our faces. And by that I mean text us or call us at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can and should also find us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTokCBpodcast. Unless you want to fight me, in which case don't. And if you're just desperate to see our shining faces in person, keep your ears peeled for ticketing information about TCB Live. As always, don't forget that you can find everything you could possibly need to find on our beautiful website, tcb podcast.com.

[Brian]

Bye. Okay, Brian Moses came in this week. He was great. We loved having Brian in on the show. Yes, Brian, if you haven't listened to the episode, go back and listen to the episode. Tuesday's episode in. What are you looking at?

[Chrissy]

I'm sorry? I was looking at the sphere on. On Instagram.

[Brian]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's from the fish show.

[Chrissy]

I mean, and that's just crazy. And. And do they do it? Do it? They do a different thing on the outside.

[Brian]

The outside? Yes.

[Chrissy]

So it's different from the inside and the outside. Yeah, the outside shows outside. Different stuff.

[Brian]

The outside is covered completely in LED screens and there's been a lot of pictures that have been taken of some pretty amazing. Yes. Yeah. When I was there, they were testing it. So when I was driving to the airport, we just. Yeah, there was like a big. Yes. That was.

[Chrissy]

I think you told me about that.

[Brian]

Yeah, that was really fucked up. I was like, what the fuck? And the cab driver was Trying to explain it to me. I love my cab driver, but I only understood about every third word he was saying, mainly because he was facing forward. But then, you know, English wasn't his first language. But I loved him. We ended up having a great conversation because he had to take me to the airport twice.

[Chrissy]

Oh, God, that's right.

[Brian]

Anyway, okay. Brian Moses comes on the show. He is the executive producer and general string puller of the Roast Battle League, which has had television shows. It's been going on for 11 straight years. As you heard, his. The, like, the Roast Battle birthday was the day that he came on the show. And when we started talk, toward the end of the conversation, he started talking about the. I started talking about, like, the rules and, like, does anybody get a fight? And they take it personally and blah, blah, blah, blah. And Chrissy opened her mouth and said, we should do a roast. And Brian didn't miss a beat. He was like, do it. It. I'll have you it. I'll. I'll do the commercial break.

[Chrissy]

Brian with an I.

[Brian]

Yes. Brian Moses.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian]

Because I do talk about myself in the third person sometimes. I'm working with my therapist on that. Something about narcissism. I'm not sure we'll get to it. But Chrissy didn't miss a beat. Then. Brian didn't miss a beat. And then I also didn't miss a beat getting on it. Like, oh, my God, we got really excited here in the room. Then Brian and I communicated after the show, like, directly after we got off. He communicated. We communicated, and he gave us a date, and he said, here's the date. If you guys want to do it now, just. I won't say the date because don't do it. We have done this way too much.

[Chrissy]

And I'm not going to look at the notebook either.

[Brian]

No, no, no. Don't even look at the notebook. I'm going to throw off the flung. And I threw it off the table. Because anytime we even talk about the Notebook, it never happens. But this appears at least that the wheels are in motion. First of all, RBL Roast Battle League on YouTube, please go check it out. I think you're going to enjoy it. I think this could be a great idea for the commercial break. I think it could be good for the audience. I think we will. You know, the tea kettle needs to release some steam sometimes. Let's go. Let's just beat it up on stage. We'll hug it out afterwards. Hopefully no third parties will get involved and start beating each other. But Chrissy And I are going to, it appears, execute on this idea. So now a call to the listeners we need. First of all, we're going to need roasts, we're going to need lines. So if you have any good ones you can think of regarding either of us. Not too mean spirited guys. We're not.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, there, there are a couple things. I was thinking about this last night. There's a couple of things that are going to be off.

[Brian]

Okay. Let's talk about the. Let's talk about the rules. Well, let's start to talk about them because I'm sure they're going to get refined as we go along.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, well, I mean, there's. I think there's just a couple of things that need to be off the table. Like he was saying the other day that, you know, it's helped some people. It's helped some people get through grief because somebody that they loved might have just died.

[Brian]

So, yeah, I would never go there.

[Chrissy]

My sister's passing is not to be.

[Brian]

That's.

[Chrissy]

That's okay.

[Brian]

So let's stop for just a moment. We'll talk about this for one moment because this has never been mentioned on the show before. Chrissy took time off last year and a lot of people asked why there was someone else in the seat. What happened? Is the show breaking up? And I explained time and time again on air that, that, no, the show wasn't breaking up, that Chrissy was dealing with a family emergency and that. That was that. So.

[Chrissy]

And that was that. And that was.

[Brian]

Chrissy's sister passed away.

[Chrissy]

Yes, six weeks after my grandfather passed away. So that was. It was a big shock for everybody. Cancer related and.

[Brian]

Yeah, cancer. Get your screenings, your own body. Demand, demand additional testing when you feel it's necessary and don't stop until you get it, even if that means you have to beg, borrow, steal to pay for it yourself. That's all. I. We will go into a long soliloquy about it now. When Chrissy's ready, she can share if she wants to. But this is why Chrissy took time off. Her grandfather passed and then her sister quickly passed and it was a shock to everybody. And I did my best to keep the train on the tracks while she.

[Chrissy]

You guys did a great job. I appreciate that.

[Brian]

Thank you. Well, of course.

[Chrissy]

Of family. Yeah, yeah.

[Brian]

So.

[Chrissy]

But anyways, that's off the table.

[Brian]

Of course. Yeah, I wouldn't go there. Never.

[Chrissy]

When he mentioned that during the interview, I was like, wow. I mean, I can't even imagine, but.

[Brian]

I can, I can see how some people might find that. Listen, I was going to share with him this, and I was going to ask his opinion about this. Joan Rivers died. She was a notorious roaster, right. She would be. She would do roasts, and she would be on the dais at the. Whatever they call that in New York, the Friars Club. And sometimes my understanding is, from what I've heard, I never. I wasn't there. I wasn't there. I don't know.

[Chrissy]

She would do this sometimes, maybe, from what I've heard.

[Brian]

Well, I want to be clear, because then people are like, how do you know that? I don't really know that. I just heard it. So don't believe anything you hear on the show or anywhere else, quite frankly, unless you've seen it with your eyes. I guess that's my point, and I've learned my lesson over time on the commercial break, not to say I absolutely know when I was not there myself. So I have heard. Mainly I also heard about Joan because of the Howard Stern Show. She was on the Howard Stern show a lot. They were like good friends. And he gave the eulogy, one of the eulogies at her funeral, and this is just days or a week after she passed. And he roasted Joan as his eulogy, and it was universally applauded. It was applauded because they said that's what she would have wanted. She laughed, and that's what she wanted. She wanted people to laugh. That was her whole life's pursuit, was to make light of. Of bad situations and make everybody little bit better. And so that's what she wanted. So I can't understand how in certain circumstances that would be the case, but your life's pursuit is not roasting people. And so I don't think that I would ever. I would never do that. Don't worry about that. But it's clear now that's off the table. I think what also might need to be taken off the table just a little bit is spouses and family members, because we're not asking them to get involved in the roast. They didn't ask for this, right?

[Chrissy]

Correct.

[Brian]

So I can't go up there and make fun of Jeff sm, you know, huge penis. Like, I can't do that. Well, I wouldn't do that because it's huge. But you know what I'm saying.

[Chrissy]

I do, yes.

[Brian]

But this.

[Chrissy]

Come up with a little. We'll come up with some guidelines. Our own internal guidelines.

[Brian]

Our own internal guidelines. I mean, I told Astrid last night. I told her about this, and she kind of gave me the side eye. She was like, you're such a wussy. You're not, you know, you really want to do this? And I'm like, no, I'm just a wussy to you. I'm not really a wussy to everybody. Yeah, I'll come home and cry about it later. She goes, exactly. That's what I don't want. I don't want you asked. You know, you made yourself do this and now you're all upset because, you know, people were laughing at things that were hurtful. I'm like, I'll be able to take it. She's like, I don't think so. But okay, whatever you guys want to do is. I'll go with you.

[Chrissy]

I really, in the back of my head, I just wanted to get a trip out to La Jolla so that we could go to Tijuana.

[Brian]

Absolutely. This is. There's no better excuse. Live show with Brian Moses in La.

[Chrissy]

Jolla's, some softballs, and then go out and lawyer.

[Brian]

We'll do five minutes of the commercial break and then we'll leave. I'll talk about your naked apron kitchen cooking. And then, you know, you'll talk about my bald head and, you know, the fact that I don't know anything that I talk about and how I bloviate half the time.

[Chrissy]

And then I don't know if I could saving things.

[Brian]

You can. You have to.

[Chrissy]

You're okay.

[Brian]

It's okay. Like, not. Not like he said, there are. There are levels of this and people who know each other roast each other well.

[Chrissy]

I almost think it would be easier to roast somebody I didn't know as well as you.

[Brian]

That's a different kind of roast battle. That's like an improv dross battle. And when you don't know somebody, how are you going to say something mean about them? Except for their looks, which I think is just kind of, you know, their.

[Chrissy]

Looks or their work, you know, because they're usually comedians, right, that are doing this to each other.

[Brian]

I mean, this is crowd work. That's all it is. Like, people are doing crowd work, but they're doing it on spec. So it's either what they say to you or their looks or who they're with or whatever. We can do this, and how we're going to do it is we are going to get professionals to help us.

[Chrissy]

That's right. Yes, that's right.

[Brian]

I'm not doing this unless Brian agrees to have coaches on standby so at least we can get there one day early. And Write some stuff on a note card that you can have as backup in case, you know, you kind of falter. Because there's also probably going to be a full house. I don't know, but I have to. I'm going to guess maybe not. It is the commercial break. So maybe, maybe Brian's like, we usually have about 250 people in here, not two. And who is that? Jeff and Astrid. Okay, all right. Just, just check.

[Chrissy]

Full house.

[Brian]

Now we have the opposite of whatever full house meant. Listen, it's going to be. We have an empty house. We have a vacant house. We have a full house today. It's a vacant house. You know, they usually have the no vacancy sign where the no turns off. Well, the no turned off. Just sharing that with you guys. What if Brian's like, I was gonna give you a cut of the door, but there is no door to give you a cut of. They actually said they're not paying me tonight. We had a good 11 year run until the commercial break decided to show and shit all over the floor. I feel like we're those dogs that wipe our ass across the floor wherever we go.

[Chrissy]

Oh, it feels good to laugh again and not cough.

[Brian]

Yeah, I know. It feels good to hear it. Oh my God. We are gonna have fun with this.

[Chrissy]

We are, we are.

[Brian]

We're gonna have fun with this. We don't have to cut too deep. We don't have to get super personal. There's things that we can off the table. I'm okay with that, but I'd love to hear the audience's opinion. Like the audience can start coaching us right now. You guys got one liners or Z?

[Chrissy]

We need to start like a Google Doc or something where we come up with ideas.

[Brian]

Yeah, text us or DM us. It's probably better if you DM us, but go ahead and text us also. 212-433-3822 212-4333. TCB. Text us and text us your one liners and then ask for to whoever answers it.

[Chrissy]

Can start subjects maybe.

[Brian]

Yeah. Topics like about each of us. Brian's an asshole. Okay, all right, got that one. If you could do that, then we're gonna do this. Also, I want to start a betting pool. Now we can't legally start a betting pool because I want to give all the money away. Like Vegas when the commercial break goes.

[Chrissy]

Over, I'll start it when I go out to Vegas.

[Brian]

Yes, that's true. Get a line. Do you think they'll have a line on us?

[Chrissy]

I'LL start it.

[Brian]

Because I think.

[Chrissy]

Can I submit a line?

[Brian]

I think you can. I think there's got to be some bookie somewhere that'll take action on this.

[Chrissy]

To say, when you were talking to Sam earlier and you're telling your Vegas story.

[Brian]

Yeah. About.

[Chrissy]

You said people were. These two guys were betting on the plane.

[Brian]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

I thought you meant they were so derelict they were betting on the plane.

[Brian]

It was going to take off or crash. I would have been nervous about that one. I would have been like, yeah. Stewardess attendant, please. That's Sam Morrill, by the way. Samurill will be in. Anyway, so I'm. I am super excited about this. I think this is. I think it's gonna be a lot of fun. It's gonna give us an excuse to get to La Jolla and get down to Tijuana. We're gonna record every minute of all of it.

[Chrissy]

Yes. You're gonna have your hobo naps.

[Brian]

I'm have my hobo knapsack. I think I still have that backpack somewhere. I'm going to recreate it. I'm going to recreate it. Just.

[Chrissy]

You should reach out to your friend that you traveled out there with, too.

[Brian]

Oh, she doesn't talk to me anymore. No.

[Chrissy]

Maybe I should contact her about roasting ideas.

[Brian]

You should. Maybe she'll talk to you. I don't know. You know, she married this guy, and I just loved her to death. But, you know, when she went out to California to go to school, obviously things got different between us. And this is before everyone was texting back and forth every single minute. I mean, we were texting, but not every single. Not like we are now. And I went to her wedding.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian]

With a guy that, you know, she loved him. I wasn't approving, but that's. I won't tell that story on air because it's deeply personal and I just didn't care for it. And I thought he was. Anyway, so we. I was about to start telling the story. I'm like, brian, you just said you're not going to tell the story. I'm not going to tell the story. Story. I'm gonna leave this one for. I'll tell you. So.

[Chrissy]

Okay. You didn't like the dude.

[Brian]

Didn't like the dude. But I went to the wedding because I wanted to support her.

[Chrissy]

Right.

[Brian]

I didn't. It wasn't like I was trying to stand in between them. I just didn't, like, literally do you. Blah, blah.

[Chrissy]

He was threatened is what you're gonna say. Is that what this Boils down to.

[Brian]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian]

I think that's what it boils down to, is that he didn't like the closeness of the friendship.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian]

So he may have given her an ultimatum or maybe she decided it was best for her life.

[Chrissy]

I'm so glad Jeff was totally loving and supportive.

[Brian]

Oh, yeah. Oh. He could have gone the other way.

[Chrissy]

For one ounce of a minute. Has he ever been like.

[Brian]

Not once. Not once for a minute. Was Astrid ever like that either?

[Chrissy]

So nice.

[Brian]

Yeah. Because quite frankly, I mean, I don't know about you.

[Chrissy]

Somebody has to be confident. Yes is what it is. Yeah.

[Brian]

Listen, we've been friends at that point for five years. Like. Like, if it hadn't happened yet, it probably ain't gonna happen. So you got. Got nothing to worry about. And I am supporting of anyone's choice of love because people have been supporting my choice of love, even when it was goddamn clear. That was a terrible situation. I mean, you voiced your opinion, certainly, and you shared that. You're. You shared your pushback, but not in a way that became destructive. Friendship. Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. Just not. You together with her, hang out with her.

[Brian]

It turned out you and everybody else. Chr.

[Chrissy]

Everybody. You'd come around.

[Brian]

Yeah. And then she would be like, you never take me out with your friends. You don't introduce me to your friends. And I'm like, no, I have. They just. Yeah. They didn't like all the yelling and screaming. They didn't like how it'd be there for 10 minutes, and then all of a sudden, you and I are in a fight about nothing, and I have to go. All of a sudden, they didn't like that stuff anyway, so I wish I could get a hold of her.

[Chrissy]

And she only ate salsa.

[Brian]

Well, for a period, but, you know. Yeah, you're right. Okay. That's true. Salsa.

[Chrissy]

There's really no going out to dinners.

[Brian]

No salsa and cupcakes. That was about it. Oh, she loved to go out to a good, expensive dinner. But then what happened afterwards? I don't. Anyway, I don't want to get into it. Sensitive subject. I don't want to. I'm not trying to piss on anybody's plate, and especially not if there may be underlying problems there. But here's what I'll say.

[Chrissy]

That's a good roast idea, though.

[Brian]

Oh, yeah. I mean, you can go there. X's are fair game, I think. Yeah.

[Chrissy]

I think X's might need to be fair game.

[Brian]

I think X's are fair game, but not in name, in personality.

[Chrissy]

Our list of rules.

[Brian]

I know. You can't talk about my penis. Can't talk. Can't say my ex's names. Can't. Now you can say my ex's names. Why not? We'll bleep it out if we feel that way after, Afterwards. Yeah, say your name.

[Chrissy]

We'll figure it out.

[Brian]

I don't give a. I've never said her name. But I don't. You can. It was not me. It was you. But what do I care? What do I care? I haven't talked to her in 10 years. All of a sudden it's going to be a problem. No, it's not. And now I'm still afraid. I'm still afraid. I'm still afraid we're going to get into a fight. I do. I did. I, I, I know I did. I know I did for a fact.

[Chrissy]

That reason.

[Brian]

That one almost took me down. That relationship almost took me down. And I think this will resonate in the crowd. And I know we were talking about a roast, now we're talking about my ex girlfriend. But just bear with me for moment. There are relationships that will eat you from the inside out and are so toxic that they start to destroy you and everything else around you. And if that's the case, I know it's really hard sometimes to see the forest through the trees, but if you know this internally somewhere.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian]

It's just like a little tiny little voice saying, you know, you know, you.

[Chrissy]

Know, you know, I've been in that kind of relationship too before, Hank.

[Brian]

Get a friend, get a family member. Hang on to them for dear life. Life. And say, drag me out of this. Because that's what you need, really.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. You have to have help.

[Brian]

Yeah. You have to get healed. Yeah. And by the way, I'm not saying it was all her fault like it. Sometimes personalities get together and that's what becomes toxic. So I don't really know and I don't care. I'm not going to Monday, Monday morning quarterback at all that much more than I already have for seven years. But I will share with you that whatever kind of absolute, you know, cauldron of bullshit was going on, it was terrible.

[Astrid]

You take a little Brian and then you take a little salsa, and then you take some cupcakes.

[Chrissy]

And a broken window.

[Astrid]

And a broken window and wa.

[Brian]

Bam.

[Astrid]

Brian's borderline dead. He's dead on the inside. Will he die on the outside? We don't know. Question mark.

[Chrissy]

Questions remain, even for the quantum witch.

[Brian]

Oh, even from the. Oh, that quantum witch would have been able to figure that one Out. All right, so roast Battle. Battle coming up. Probably, definitely before the end of the year. So pay attention.

[Chrissy]

We think we heard.

[Brian]

We think we might. We heard that might be happening. Yes. If we get approval from our spouses and our agents. No, I'm kidding. So stay tuned. Start sending your zingers in. And start betting on who's winning this. Start betting on who's winning this. I want to hear it loud and clear. You can't have both. You have one. So we're going to see. We're going to take. We're going to start a notepad. What am I, 12? Start a notepad. We're starting Google sheet. We're gonna see how many listeners vote for Chrissy and how many listeners vote for Brian. And maybe we'll give something. If you vote right, maybe we'll like, give something to the winners.

[Chrissy]

A prize from Tijuana.

[Brian]

Yeah, prize from Tijuana. 1.

[Chrissy]

Brian's Magic Hydro Codone.

[Astrid]

Pharmacia. Oh, sounds magical.

[Brian]

Crazy. All right, we'll be back.

[Host/Announcer]

It's that time again. The worst part of the show. AKA me yelling at you to follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on Tik Tok TCV podcast, text us or leave us a voicemail at 212-4333, TCB. If you want to chat, chat, suggest content or simply complain, we'll take what we can get. While you're at it, don't forget that all of our audio and video lives on our website, tcbpodcast.com as well as future information on TCV Live.

[Astrid]

Woohoo.

[Brian]

Okay, I just want to share this for a minute because I think this is crazy on a little more serious side. So there's this show on tlc. You know, I'd like. I like some shows on tlc. You don't have to be a genius to figure it out. If you listen to the show even, even three episodes, you'll probably figure out that Brian has some horseshit reality show that he's watching on tlc. But it's. Sometimes it's just on in the background like it is right now. Like we have it on one of them. Yes. So anyway, so there's this show on there called My Big Fat Fabulous Life. And they're. The person on that show, her name is Whitney. Like Whitney Thor 4 Whitney something. Whitney is the star of the show. And basically the whole show revolves around Whitney being a normal person while she's also overweight. And she's overweight. Like, you know, she's got a good amount of weight on her. And so she got famous because she did a series of dance videos. And a lot of people reacted to them, including celebrities that were like, wow, that girl can go. Even though she's got a lot of weight on her and that, I guess they gave her a show and said, oh, let's see the rest of your life. Like how you get through dating and, you know, know, just basically proving that doesn't matter what you look like or how what size you are, you can still do the things that ever. You can still have fun and live like you don't have to be. Whatever.

[Chrissy]

Right?

[Brian]

So I get it. Body positivity message there it is fantastic. Has been on for many seasons. I am not that invested in this television show. I really don't care. I think Whitney is fine. I get it. I understand. It's just not very interesting to me. It's kind of formulaic. But. But the. I did notice that the beginning of this season she looked like she had lost weight. And she mentions in the beginning of this season that I lost her mother. Her mother died very suddenly, stroke, and then had another stroke and then died in previous seasons. And so I guess this is just like a year and a half now when they're filming this next season. It's just a year and a half. And she said, after my mother died, I lost 50 or 60 pounds very quickly. I am assuming there is medication involved, but I don't know that for sure. But it's noticeable, right? And they are filming a scene. This is why I mentioned they're filming a scene. And then all of a sudden, there are large beds in her house and there's large bangs. It's like at night time. And you can hear these bangs. They almost sound like gunshots, but they're not. And then everyone gets scared. And then the doorbell rings. And on the ring doorbell, you can see someone, full mask, full sweatsuit, all dressed in black back, dropping flowers off at the front door. And then this person runs away, gets into a car, screeches off like, why are you doing. It's a little weird.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. That's bizarre. Okay, Drop flowers, bang, bang, bang. And then ring at the doorbell. Somebody in a full suit of burglar. Burglar suit, burglar suit, drop flowers and screeches off. Screeches, okay.

[Brian]

Or maybe they added the screeches for effect, but I don't know. You know those editors, they're widely bunched. But it is a little weird at first. You don't know what's going on and then, of course, they go to a commercial break. And then they come back. Of course. And then they come back, and what happened was her house had gotten egged. They had thrown a bunch of eggs at the house, at the car, at other places they had. Someone had thrown a bunch of eggs. And this person left the flowers. And those flowers had a note. And that note. I don't even want to begin to describe what that note said, but that note was not nice. Like, it's not. Obviously, he was dressed all in black. I didn't think you should expect, like, you know, I secretly love you.

[Chrissy]

Right.

[Brian]

And egg. A terrible, terrible note. It was basically like, you die, you fat piece of. You know, it was like that. Like that. It was. And. And that was like the language in there. And she obviously gets upset about this. Her family members are with her. They're trying to console her a little bit, like, hey, you know, millions of people love you, you know, and she starts explaining this. I did this show to show people that you can still live life no matter what. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. She gives her. Her elevator pitch about the show. But I was, like, shocked that, you know, well, first of all, they do film her at her house a lot, and they do show the front of the house a lot, and they say which city she lives in. And it's not a very big city. And it's. It's in the southeast. It's not a very big city. Not going to mention it, because I'm not going to add any drama to this, but. So obviously, it'd probably be pretty easy to figure out if you lived in that city, where that street was, where that house was.

[Chrissy]

I imagine probably gets around to you.

[Brian]

Yes, but how hateful do you have to be to get involved? If you don't like the reality show and you don't like the message that she's sending and you're not interested in people that have weight on them, then don't pay attention to it. Don't look at them, don't Google them, don't bother them. What in the. Good. There's two of my family members are having an argument right now. They're very fussy with each other, and they're always going back and forth. And I'm always.

[Chrissy]

About the show.

[Brian]

No, not about the. I'm sharing that they're very fussy with each other. So here's. Here was my piece of advice yesterday to one of the family members. Don't call him, don't text him, don't bother him, because obviously you guys are up each other's asses right now. There's something going on. Everybody's fussy in the situation. Why even bother? Why make yourself. Why put yourself in the middle of that? Don't worry about. It's like me with the ex girlfriend. Just drag yourself. I'd never did it, but, you know, I know it's hard to do, but, you know, but that's also much more personal. Eventually I did, you know. Yes, but, you know.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, well, it's called boundaries.

[Brian]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Yes. As I've been going to therapy a lot to get through things, but yes, it's. It's boundaries. It's called boundaries. And it's. If you do this, I'm not going to engage.

[Brian]

That's it. That's it.

[Chrissy]

These are my boundaries. And if you do that, you can do it.

[Brian]

What kind of.

[Chrissy]

You can do it all you want, but I'm not going to engage.

[Brian]

I'm not going to engage. What kind of fuck to feels the necessity to just, you know, vandalize, destroy, send hateful notes, death threats and all this? What kind of feels a necessity to do that to someone that you obviously could just turn off? You don't have to be bothered by it. Listen, we get some not so nice things said about us, too. Luckily, we have never gotten to that point, but we get some nice, not so nice things said about us.

[Chrissy]

No, you just got the person that showed up at the door that had a conversation with your ring. Doorbell.

[Brian]

Oh, yeah, that might have. Yeah. That girl's lady was crazy. That lady was crying. Crying. Ring me on my ring. Okay, talk to you later. Bring me back on the ring.

[Chrissy]

Stop by my house and leave me a message on my ring.

[Brian]

Yeah, I just. I. I just am. Like, I'm. Ever since.

[Chrissy]

I mean, this has been going on for a while.

[Brian]

Yeah. Yes.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. People are sick.

[Brian]

People are. They get behind that computer or they get behind that. Whatever that cell phone or whatever it is, is, and they think it has magical powers to, like, dehumanize anybody and anything that they find even the least bit irritating. And why you would take the time out of your day to buy the eggs, the flowers, handwrite the note.

[Chrissy]

You know, I have to say, now, this is on a reality show. So do you think there's any type of manufactured part of this?

[Brian]

I mean, it's all manufactured at the end of the day.

[Chrissy]

I mean, they talk. How long do they talk about this? How was the whole. There's just like a segment. It's like there's a two parter because they went to commercial and came back.

[Brian]

You know, this is one of the only. Yeah, it's true. They certainly had a cliffhanger. Yes. It was probably two segments. So let's say 15 minutes of the show. It's the only one that I've watched of this show that I've watched all the way through because I felt like I needed, like, some kind of context as to what was going on. There was no context. Like, they didn't lead up to it.

[Chrissy]

Hateful.

[Brian]

It was just a hateful 15 minutes. They obviously made a strategic decision to share it.

[Chrissy]

It's a crime.

[Brian]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

What they call it.

[Brian]

Yeah, absolutely. And then she mentions that this has happened before in the past. Bricks have been throw her. Thrown through her window. Cars have been smashed, like, and they never met. I don't know because I don't watch it a ton. But this didn't seem like a ploy for attention. This seemed like sharing a really up moment that happened in the hopes that it gets through to somebody, I guess. Like. Like, I get it. Roasting somebody. Go on your little YouTube channel and say you don't like the girl. Right. I. I think she can probably deal with that. She does deal with that. I gotta imagine we deal with it and we're nowhere near as many people listen to us as probably watch her. But, like, do you really have to take the physical action in the real world to, like, try and harm somebody or their things or their friends or their family? It seems so incredibly.

[Chrissy]

Well, it's not an. It's not normal. I mean, a healthy, happy person would not do that.

[Brian]

Oh, it's clear this person has problems.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. I mean, so it's the. It's. The people have problems with themselves.

[Brian]

Yeah. And I imagine they saw the filming trucks outside and they decided this could be my moment of fame. Let me get my message out. Let me have my moment.

[Chrissy]

Let me put my black mask on.

[Brian]

Yeah, let me put my black mask on. Because you know that you got to know there's cameras at the house. I mean, there's cameras at the house. They're filming right now.

[Chrissy]

Everybody has a camera now.

[Brian]

Yes. Ring me on my ring. I mean, everyone has a camera, and there's cameras everywhere in the world. And please put them up all over the corner. And none of. Not very little of our lives is actually private unless you're having a conversation with your wife in a lead bunker where no cell phone is anywhere close to her. Right. I mean, that's. That's it. And so I just thought I'D share. I like to think that the audience that. That follows us and listens to us has a healthy dose of sanity. Yeah, sanity and empathy. I know that's probably not true of every single listener, but I'd like to think so.

[Chrissy]

But I inherently like to think that people are good. I know that they're all not.

[Brian]

No.

[Chrissy]

But I'd like to think that until proven otherwise.

[Brian]

Yeah. And I don't bring this up for any other point, but to just share that the world is a really wonderful place, but there are really ugly corners of the world. And it all starts on the Internet. That's all I gotta say. It all starts online because, you know, there's probably some big, big, you know, corner of the Internet where this woman is a target of so many people's ire.

[Chrissy]

It's crazy.

[Brian]

For nothing else except for being overweight. And you know why?

[Chrissy]

I'm sad for her, but I'm also sad for the other. For those people, too. That's sad that that's what you've dedicated your life to, is being hateful.

[Brian]

Oh, I'm more sad for those people. I have more empathy for those people because Whitney's gonna be just fine. She got a television show, she's making money, she's in the limelight. I'm saying everything's hunky dory with her, but, you know, she's gonna be just fine. She's gonna keep trucking. There'll prob season or two or three or four of this. You know, people seem to like, well.

[Chrissy]

They'Re gonna change the name if she keeps losing weight.

[Brian]

That's true. I thought about that too. What are you gonna do? But I mean, you know, hey, listen, whatever. You know, she has, she has books.

[Chrissy]

I hope she does, at least for health reasons.

[Brian]

Yeah, I. I agree with you. And I know that there are. I don't know everything about weight. And my weight fluctuates too. Sometimes I have £20, £30, £40 extra at times. Times when I had my second child. I looked at pictures the other day with my. One of my daughters, wanted to look and see pictures from this time period for whatever reason. And I was a bigger boy than I am now. And I was like, wow. But I noticed that over the years because I've lived enough life.

[Chrissy]

It fluctuates exactly.

[Brian]

When I got my divorce from my.

[Chrissy]

From my first wife, I remember I.

[Brian]

Was a good, chunky, healthy boy. I mean, I was.

[Chrissy]

Well, I remember you lost weight. You lost a lot of weight.

[Brian]

I lost 60 pounds in, like, six months. It was crazy. Not six months, but like a year year. But yeah.

[Chrissy]

I mean, you got off your ramen.

[Brian]

Oh, my God. And I wondered why I weighed so much. I wondered why I weighed so much. I was eating ramen with nacho cheese. Like the cheese you put on nachos. Sour cream, hot sauce, Ritz crackers, everything I could put into there. That tasted good. Macaroni and cheese. I mean, I would do any macaroni and cheese with ramen.

[Chrissy]

It was your depression bowl.

[Brian]

It was.

[Chrissy]

You were sad about that. The state of.

[Brian]

I think I was sad about the relationship because I was eating it during the marriage, too.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, that's what I mean.

[Brian]

I was just there. So whatever, you know, this girl Whitney decides to do is what Whitney decides to do. But I'm just. I just wanted to share that because you don't have to be ugly. You don't have to be that ugly. You know, you can spit your ire in other ways. I get it.

[Chrissy]

Somebody write it in your journal.

[Brian]

Write it in your journal. Whack it off. That's what I do.

[Chrissy]

That's right.

[Brian]

I whack it off.

[Chrissy]

Go to the wacking tree.

[Brian]

Whenever I have an angry day, like, I get angry at a bunch, and there's been a lot of angry days over the last eight months and a lot of people that I'm angry with, and I think rightfully so in some cases, but I just. Go to the whacking tree.

[Chrissy]

Go to the whacking tree.

[Brian]

I'm going to the whacking tree to do some whacking.

[Chrissy]

As my grandfather, Papa Joe used to say. Put it. Write it down. Put it on the Frisbee and throw it into the field.

[Brian]

Oh, that's a good idea.

[Chrissy]

It's gone.

[Brian]

Check your patties. I haven't. Oh, it's so. The world is such a convoluted and complicated place. Okay, tomorrow we're going to get to bad romance novel passages.

[Chrissy]

Oh, should I be doing some research?

[Brian]

You can if you want to. I got a bunch of them, but if you want to throw a few in the mix, I'd love to hear.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian]

If you're willing to read them in, like, a sexy, sultry voice. Of course. We should get Rachel to do this, actually. Yeah. Yeah. Because some of these are 10 terrible. There's an award for this, by the way. They give out an award for the worst sex writing every year in bad romance novels.

[Chrissy]

I'll pull out the sexy voice.

[Brian]

Okay. I like that. I'm gonna pull out my sexy voice.

[Chrissy]

That's right. We have to eat.

[Brian]

The deeper it gets.

[Chrissy]

That's right.

[Brian]

The deeper it gets, the more you get wits. The deeper it gets, the more you get sweats. Oh, baby.

[Chrissy]

Hey.

[Brian]

Now I'm gonna do my throat dies. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Wow. What's that?

[Chrissy]

The oh face.

[Brian]

I'm gonna. No, my. My throat dives.

[Chrissy]

Remember the guy with the throat dive? Yes.

[Brian]

Yeah, I got him on Instagram now. I love that guy. Strider. Strider in his throat dive. Yes. Oh, I want to talk about Chappelle Roan and. And I want to talk about a bunch of stuff. I guess we'll get some to it tomorrow.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian]

Why not? All right. Okay.

[Chrissy]

Do you want me to put it in the notebook?

[Brian]

Put in the notebook. Here's the deal. September 25th in Orlando. As we had been saying, and then we stopped saying and now we're saying again, September 25th in Orlando. We're back. We're gonna be there and tickets are gonna be on sale soon. So go to the website tcbpodcast.com find out more information. Make sure you follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. We'll give you the links to buy those tickets. We're also going to be doing Donya Point.

[Chrissy]

That sounds right.

[Brian]

Just north of Miami by Fort Lauderdale. We're going to be doing that on the 24th. So the 24th and the 25th. The 26th show in Tampa. Not happening for reasons we don't understand, but whatever. Anyway, probably our fault, but we don't know. So 2024 and 25th, Donya Point, then Orlando. Please come see us. We know a lot of you have already said you're going to. So keep on coming. That's all I gotta say. Keep on planning to come and do. Go to the website, all the audio, all the video right there from one location. You can find everything that you need. Also 212-4333 TCB. That's 212-433-3822. In case you needed to know the numbers. 3823 to questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas, and YouTube.com the commercial break, full episodes and clips. Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.

[Chrissy]

I think so.

[Brian]

But I love you.

[Chrissy]

I love you.

[Brian]

Best to you.

[Chrissy]

Best to you.

[Brian]

And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say goodbye.