Ring Me On My Ring!

Summary

The Commercial Break – Episode Summary

Episode: Ring Me On My Ring!
Date: March 14, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

---

Episode Overview

In this delightfully off-kilter episode, Bryan and Krissy riff on the absurdities of modern digital life, from the obsessive scrutiny over Kate Middleton’s photoshopped family portrait to generational divides around phone usage, and the unexpected social etiquette of Ring doorbell cameras. Their freewheeling banter takes aim at internet culture, royal gossip, work communication overload, and the strange ways technology has rewired how we present ourselves and connect (or avoid connecting) with others. The episode’s comedic heart is a bizarre real-life voicemail left on Bryan’s Ring camera by a stranger looking for the house’s long-gone former owner, prompting the hosts to consider starting a new hobby: leaving random “Ring voicemails.” True to the show’s spirit, it’s less about structure and more about relatable, irreverent conversation between long-time friends.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Kate Middleton’s Photoshopped Family Photo Fiasco

[00:26 – 11:45]

• Bryan opens with mock exasperation at the public’s fixation on Kate Middleton’s edited Mother’s Day family photo:

  “Can someone, for the love of all that's holy, please explain to me what is going on with the Kate Middleton photograph?” (Bryan, 00:38)

• Krissy notes the initial uproar: Kate’s extended absence after surgery and her return via a slightly-altered photo set off internet sleuths:

  “Everybody use changes photos that they post these days for sure.” (Krissy, 02:16)

• Bryan’s take: Calls out the excessive scrutiny and hypocrisy, emphasizing everyone alters photos and the press outrage is performative:

  “Who in the fuck is looking at a picture that closely? ... Do we not have anything better to do with our time?” (Bryan, 02:49)

• Societal commentary:

  • Both host’s bemoan the manufactured drama, connecting it to public obsession with the royals, the toxic pressures of social media, and the cycle of gossip and intrusion that started with Princess Diana—stressing it's now a no-win game for people like Kate.
  • The AP’s “no altered photos” outrage is called “bullshit,” and the hosts joke about wanting an invite to Netflix CEO Reed Hastings’ house as much as tabloid access to royal lives.

2. The Social Media Facade & Generational Traditions

[07:02 – 16:34]

• Social media’s distortion:

  • Both discuss friends who use extreme photo filters until they look like “a completely different person.”
  • Bryan rails against Instagram expectations: “You have to look happy, you have to look self-aware… be in Costa Rica saving the whales or some bullshit like that.”

• Defending photo edits:

  • Both agree it’s unfair to target public figures for something everyone does online.
  • Social media encourages constant self-presentation and has made everyone miserable—in his words, “We're all just miserable fucks because of social media.” (Bryan, 07:35)

• Passage of tradition:

  • They tangent comically into royal “generational” jobs (e.g., napkin folder), likening them to Disney Imagineers. When collective wisdom isn’t passed down, you lose something in both organizations and culture.
  • “Who’s going to learn to fold the napkins exactly the way that we need them?” – Bryan, [09:10]

3. Manipulated Realities: From Woodstock Hippies to Dating Apps

[12:13 – 18:36]

• Bryan describes a mutual friend from their “party in the woods” days who not only digitally alters her appearance, but deletes TVs from party photos to maintain a curated public image (“That is the grand hypocrisy right there.”).

• Krissy laments altered family albums will make it hard for future generations to know what their ancestors really looked like.

• They connect this to dating apps, noting the prevalence of misleading photos drives unrealistic romantic expectations.

• Bryan’s bigger worry: When we can’t even agree on a ‘shared reality’ anymore, how do we come together as humans?

  “How do we have a… common purpose as human beings if we can't even share a common reality? ... It's really kind of scary, actually.” (Bryan, 17:28)

4. Digital Communication Overload & Rebelling Against Notifications

[19:20 – 34:08]

• Gen Z’s Do Not Disturb life:

  • User polls show young people keep their phones on silent to avoid anxiety from calls and texts—something both hosts deeply relate to.

• Bryan’s communication rules:

  • He only checks email twice a month, is slow to reply to texts, and almost never answers calls.
  • Jokes about Slack as “the devil at work,” sparking a tirade against constant office messaging (“I don't want to get slacked. I want to slack off.” Bryan, 21:35).

• Old-school anecdotes:

  • The hosts share stories from early internet jobs, recounting resistance to instant messaging (“the messaging policy”), read receipts, and the relentless “reply all” culture.

• Conclusion:

  • Technology has made it harder to focus, and more people are attracted to flip phones for simplicity.
  • “Having Slack is like having five extra children. It’s like they’re always tugging at your coattails for stupid little things.” (Bryan, 28:21)

5. The Ring Doorbell Camera Saga

[37:57 – 49:24]

• Setting the scene:

  • Bryan recounts the surreal experience of a stranger showing up at his front door, peering inside, and leaving a monologue at his Ring doorbell for the previous resident, who passed away 12 years ago:
  • “This lady that she is referring to died 12 years ago before we even got into this house. She passed away. I wasn't going to be the one to break the information to her.” (Bryan, 46:34)

• Ring camera etiquette:

  • The hosts riff on how it’s now normal to avoid doorbells, screens, and social interaction at all costs—Bryan’s evasive “stop, drop, and roll” to avoid being seen is highly relatable comedy.
  • Quip: “I wouldn't even show up at someone's front door. It’s like leaving a message.” (Krissy, 48:21)

• The voicemail itself:

  • [45:58] The lady, unaware of the house's new occupants, leaves a heartfelt but misdirected message to her dead friend:

    “I just, you know, I thought about you and just thought I would drop by and just say hello. But I wish you the best and I hope you're, I hope you're really doing well and taking care of yourself.”

• The absurdity:

  • Bryan and Krissy muse about leaving random “Ring voicemails” at strangers’ doors, parodying the misplaced intimacy and connectedness technology can foster.

6. Tech, Privacy, and the Weirdness of Modern Security

[37:57 – 44:14 interwoven]

• Airbnb bans indoor cameras: Hosts approve of the move, find it deeply unsettling that some rentals once allowed surveillance inside the house or sauna.
• Local municipalities are starting to request access to residents’ Ring feeds; Bryan is staunchly against turning his home into state surveillance—satirically noting the boundary he still maintains, even with a smartphone in his pocket.

---

Notable Quotes and Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Royal Photo Drama:

  • "Aren't children starving? Aren't people, like, setting books on fire in libraries? Why do we give a [expletive] if Kate Middleton doctored up her photo?"
    — Bryan Green [03:06]

• On Social Media Hypocrisy:

  • "We're all just miserable fucks because of social media. And so… we're playing the game."
    — Bryan Green [07:35]

• On Corporate Messaging:

  • "Slack is the devil at work. I don't want to get slacked. I want to slack off."
    — Bryan Green [21:35]

• On Digital Overwhelm:

  • "Having Slack is like having five extra children. It's like they're always tugging at your coattails for stupid little things. But your fire does not constitute my emergency."
    — Bryan Green [28:21]

• Ring Doorbell Incident:

  • "She was just talking out loud. ‘I just, you know, thought about you… drop by and say hello. I wish you the best.’"
    — Bryan Green imitating the visitor [45:58]

• On Avoiding Human Contact:

  • "I wouldn't even show up at someone's front door. It's like leaving a message."
    — Krissy Hoadley [48:21]

• On Leaving Ring Voicemails:

  • "I'm gonna start just walking by random houses with ring doorbells and leaving them a voice message... Hey, just wanted to call and see that you're doing okay. All right, talk to you soon. I'm gonna do it."
    — Bryan Green [54:04 – 55:19]

---

Timestamps of Important Segments

• Kate Middleton photo scandal & royal obsession: [00:26 – 11:45]
• Social media filters, authenticity & generational jobs: [07:02 – 16:34]
• Manipulated realities, dating apps, and shared reality: [12:13 – 18:36]
• Gen Z phone habits, communication overload, and Slack rant: [19:20 – 34:08]
• Ring camera privacy, Airbnb cameras, and neighborly boundaries: [37:57 – 44:14]
• Ring "voicemail" saga and resulting comedy: [45:23 – 55:19]

---

Tone & Style

Bryan and Krissy’s improvisational, sharp-tongued banter is self-aware, playful, and grounded in shared cultural exasperation—a mix of “can you believe this?” comedy, stand-up riffs, nostalgic asides, and WTF moments from daily life. The sarcasm is affectionate (sometimes directed at themselves), and the “chaotic, unpolished charm” is highly inviting for listeners who like comedy that’s both observational and slightly absurdist.

---

Summary for New Listeners

This episode stands as a humorous snapshot of how technology, celebrity culture, and the etiquette of modern communication collide in everyday life. Bryan and Krissy’s tongue-in-cheek commentary covers everything from the photoshop arms race on Instagram to the oddities of work (and home) digital surveillance, finishing with a hilarious story about a stranger eulogizing a long-dead neighbor via Ring doorbell. If you’re looking for catharsis amidst notification overload, or just a good laugh about the strangeness of being alive in 2024, “Ring Me On My Ring!” delivers.

---

Best to you, and best to you out there in the podcast universe!

Transcript

[Brian Green]

One, two, cha cha cha. One, two cha cha cha. One, two cha cha cha. On this episode of the commercial break. So call me back on your ring doorbell.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's so strange.

[Brian Green]

Give me a ring back on the ring and I'll talk to you later. I'll try again tomorrow. Bye. Bye. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the freak in the sheets, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen, and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Can someone, for the love of all that's holy, please explain to me what is going on with the Kate Middleton photograph? Do you know?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Do I know?

[Brian Green]

Do you know?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think the question is more like, do I care? But.

[Brian Green]

Well, I don't care either. But we do have a show where we got to talk about something. So let's talk about this.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Apparently, you know, everybody was freaking out. They haven't seen her in months. And she had some kind of planned surgery which she was always supposed to kind of be out. Out of commission.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Like out of the public eye, recovering. And I guess that's a little mysterious.

[Brian Green]

So, people, it's a little mysterious that she has surgery and she wants to recover. It seems a ridiculous thing to be concerned about, right?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I mean, and it was. It was Mother's Day in Britain, Okay. The other day, in fact, Jeff and I were watching the Oscars and some people were saying, happy Mother's Day. And at one point, Jeff goes, I.

[Brian Green]

Thought the same thing when I read the story. Oh, my God.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I felt a panic, too. And I was like, no, no, no, wait, wait.

[Brian Green]

I know it's in May.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

In May, yeah. So we looked it up and yes, it was the British version of Mother's Day. And they posted. She posted a picture, okay. With the children. Family. Yeah. But I guess she did a little editing to it, a little photoshopping. I don't know what she did. Everybody use changes photos that they post.

[Brian Green]

These days for sure.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Everybody.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So she says she was just trying to kind of play around with it, and people noticed that it was altered, and so now they're freaking out again about that.

[Brian Green]

I got. I went down the wage too big of a rabbit hole here on the whole Kate Middleton thing. But first of all, who in the fuck is looking at a picture that closely? The picture looked fine to me until I actually started reading the comments about what was altered. And it took me a really long time to see that anything was wrong. Like, I thought I Was dumb there for a minute. I was, like, just not seeing this. Yeah, I don't see what other people are seeing. That the kid has a cuff that makes his arm look her arm weird, or that Kate's stretched out her arms too far to wrap around all the children. I mean, honestly, do we not have. Do we not have anything better to do with our time?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Apparently not.

[Brian Green]

Aren't children starving? Aren't people, like, setting books on fire in libraries? Why do we give a. If Kate Middleton doctored up her photo? Plus, she's got to be one of the most photographed women in the world. Isn't it okay if she just makes herself look a little bit better? Because we all do it. I don't. Because I don't know how to work the filters on Instagram, but once I figure it out, you better goddamn believe I will. And this is why I sit so far from the camera on the commercial break, so I don't get to scrutinize. I don't understand why Kate Middleton can't take a couple months off to recover from a surgery. Why, that's a big deal, number one. Number two, everybody alters photographs and the AP goes out and they say it's against the rules. The, you know, photograph United nations of photographs of rules or whatever. It's like, come on, guys, you've never put out a doctored photo. I mean, I guess I know you're the AP and you got to uphold some standards, but you've never put out a doctored photo ever. I call. I call bullshit on that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

First of all. Second of all, who really fudgeing cares? Kate's just putting out a picture. There's a controversy about who's taking the picture and whether or not they have lights.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh. I mean, people are so obsessed with Nazi and her. Then they see her.

[Brian Green]

I know. And then they see her. And then there's a grand conspiracy to change her daughter's hand. Yeah. Why she got her hand cut off in the surgery. I mean, that I can understand. Like, if she got her hand cut off and then she's, like, manipulating another hand onto her hand, who cares? The poor lady just had surgery. Leave her alone. I read this whole article about how this is. This whole thing is a symbol of how the royal family is crumbling, is treated. And it's crumbling because Charles is dealing with his cancer. You know, William's nowhere to be seen. Kate's nowhere to be seen. Harry and Meghan are, you know, in LA at Reed Hastings House, which I would like an invitation to, please. I don't care how I get it. Megan, what's up? We've had at least three comedy comedians on that are on Netflix as a joke. We still haven't got invited to Reed's house for dinner. So I'll.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We'll deal with this later.

[Brian Green]

I'll deal with this later. Thank you very much, Chrissy. That's exactly what I wanted to say. I'll take it on good faith that the invitation just got lost in the mail.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Quote or is on the way.

[Brian Green]

It should be on the way. It should be on the mail.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Invites in the mail, invites in the.

[Brian Green]

Mail receipts, or it didn't happen. 50% off my Netflix account. That is the least you could do. You know what I'm saying? Okay, maybe I can't get an invitation to Reads right right now. 50% off my Netflix account.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Any little bet helps.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's $122 I would be saving every month. So stupid. But I. I just think, leave the poor lady alone. Like, did she really need additional scrutiny on her? She's just trying to pose, you know, take a nice photograph and show everybody that she's okay and the family's okay. She's essentially feeding the beast that was created by the same paparazzi tabloids and news outlets that need to see a picture of her so desperately because, you know, other. She's with space aliens. You know what I'm saying? It's like.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, it all. You know, it really hit the high mark with Diana, and look how that turned out.

[Brian Green]

It didn't turn out well, so I hear.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I haven't gotten to that part of the crown yet, but so I hear things didn't turn out so great for her.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, it's just this obsession. It is.

[Brian Green]

I mean, just insanity, actually, is what it is. Yeah. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's why Harry and Megan, one of the reasons why they left.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You know, they've done a good job of staying low key since they got here.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

At least on their terms.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's true. Well, it's all. They're all gossiped out now. What else do they have to say? So I don't know that that third or fourth Netflix special is going to be as interesting. That, and I wasn't even interested by the first one, but that's just my personal opinion. But I say leave the poor lady alone. This is something we all do. It's a grand hypocrisy to then call out Kate for adjusting her pictures. I have seen people do the most. Our friends do the Most ridiculous things with their photographs.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's crazy. No, to the point of, like, it looks like a completely different person. I know, you know, we, Jeff and I know someone that in person looks one way and on their Facebook photo or their Instagram photo, whatever their profile picture, it looks like a completely different.

[Brian Green]

It's not the same human. Yeah, it's not the same human. But I don't fault them for it because that is the beast that we are feeding with social media right now. You have to look good, you have to look in shape, you have to look happy, you have to look self aware. You've got to be meditating, you've got to be in Costa Rica saving the whales or some bullshit like that. And the truth is, is that we're all just miserable fucks because of social media. And so we're just, I don't know, we're playing the game and, and I play it sometimes too. It's a vicious cycle that can't be won. And poor Kate, she can't win no matter what. Now, I'm not defending the royals. I'm not British, so I don't have any stake in whether or not the royals. Not royals.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Wish you were.

[Brian Green]

I do wish I was. Yes. I would like to live that lifestyle just for a couple of weeks. You know what I'm saying? I mean, who wouldn't, honestly? Right? Isn't that like every, you know, kid's dream to be the PR king and every, you know, or to be a princess or whatever it is. I would like to live that lap of luxury because now having watched the crown, I know that they have a person whose job it is only job it is to fold napkins.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

He's the great napkin keeper of the royal Windsors or some.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I heard that part where she was interviewing people to see where she was doing.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

See where she.

[Brian Green]

The great swan swaddler.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, but, but it was one of those jobs that have been passed down from generation I. Generation, generation. She ended up not being able to cut anybody because they. She felt bad.

[Brian Green]

She felt bad. Well, I don't think she felt bad for him. I think she understood that in some way. Like, you know Disney, right? And they have these people heard of it. You've heard of it. Small little company.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Is that a startup?

[Brian Green]

It is a startup. They're. They're going for round B. They're financing, I hear. So Disney has these folks, architects, designers, creators. They call them imagineers. And the imagineers are the ones who bring these rides in their parks to life.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

They create them. They create the ambiance. They make sure that every little detail is taken care of. And this, up until recently, it was a generational hand down to the next person. The experiences that the original imagineers had creating theme park rides, all the mistakes, all the things they got right, all the things they got wrong, that knowledge was passed on because someone would enter the company and then for decades they would work there. And by experiences and the people above them, the older folks, teaching them the wisdom that they had learned then. It was a generational, informational, kind of like, you know, direct connection to all of that experience. Recently, as of the last five or six years, they've started exiting a lot of the older Imagineers, the old guard, the old guard, leaving the imagineers, according to some people, kind of in a shambles. Because it's just what they do now is they just hustle young people into there, work them to the bone, and then as soon as they start asking for more money, they kick them out and they hustle the next round in. Meaning there's no like generational experience there. All of that is lost when the generation before them goes away. And I think the Queen saw it the same way. She was like, yeah, okay, the grand swan swaddler, or whatever the they called him is not exactly. It's a little bloated that we have a grand Swan swaddler, but at the end of the day, who else has this information in their heads? And don't the swans need to be swaddled? Right? I mean, I don't know. I don't like swans. They seem fine to me. I. I guess. And who's going to learn to fold the napkins exactly the way that we need them? Who's going to take over that job? I'm not defending the royals. I think it's a bloated organization that makes a whole shitload of money probably on the backs of people who could maybe or maybe not afford it. But it seems like the, the people in Britain, at least the majority of them, like the fact that they have the royals and they want to keep them around. And so I kind of understood it. But if you're going to do that and have this kind of generational, you know, pass it down from one to the next. Don't crucify the people who you are adoring, like Kate Middleton for putting a fucking picture and touching up her hand a little bit, that maybe didn't look so great that day. I don't know. You know, sometimes my hands don't look Great. Either. It's usually after I whack off. But listen, that's neither here nor there. I'm just saying to you, Chrissy, that I find this to be a grand hypocrisy that everyone's so upset about doctoring of photos when we all do it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Every one of us. Well, not every one of us, but most.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Those of us who can do it.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Those of us who can do. Those of us who can't, teach. Those of us who can't start a podcast.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I can't do it either. I don't know how to do all of this stuff. I mean, I have. I know people I don't know and just go. They just know exactly how to do all of that. And that's a skill.

[Brian Green]

We have a friend, a mutual friend that's kind of in the. What do we. What are we calling them now? The. I don't know, Party in the woods family.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

All right. Yep.

[Brian Green]

New age hippies. Not generational information being passed down from crystal to crystal. All right. Crystal to crystal. I don't know how they do that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

By the full moon.

[Brian Green]

Yes, that's right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Under the full moon.

[Brian Green]

Moon cycle to moon cycle. They pass it down. All right, so they're at a. Like a fire burn. Like an alchemy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Like a fire burn. Sure. That's on trend.

[Brian Green]

That's on trends.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Totally on brand.

[Brian Green]

That's on brand for those folks who don't have jobs but have Range rovers. I know. Yeah. Who sleep for a weekend in the woods and then are at the Ritz Carlton, Cabo San Lucas the next week. Yeah. Okay. You don't fool me one bit. I see what you're doing. You care about the carbon emissions on weekend X, but on weekend, why you're taking your daddy's private jet down to Costa Rica for yet another party in the woods with other rich kids, I guess.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Under the full moon.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, of course. Bring your special K in your ayahuasca. Make sure you do that. So I see her posting photographs of this party that she went to, and I'm like, oh, okay. Fireburn, cool. Let me. Let me look through it. It was obvious that a number of these pictures were digitally altered. And. But the mistake that she made was, and I think this is probably accidental, is that she. She put two photograph. There was like, you know, I don't know, 80 pictures in this one album, but she put two of those photographs for those photographs total. One, the unaltered and won, the altered. So she put the original and then the altered one Again, think it was a mistake. Here's what she did. She made herself look skinnier. She made her boobs look bigger, and she made her eyes look bluer. And then in the next photograph, she did the same thing to her body. Fine, whatever. That's your choice. That's your choice. But there were televisions in the background of some of these campgrounds, and it looked like they were possibly. So this is obviously a couple months ago, possibly watching a football game on the back of them. She literally deleted the televisions from. Because God forbid, the hippies are watching the Nebraska game while they're having some fun out in the woods taking Special K, I think. God damn, dude, that part really got me hot. I was like, okay, want to make yourself a little trimmer? Make your boobs a little bigger. Make your eyes a little bluer. I get it. I understand. You know, it's. It. I'm not going to be the one to cast stones. But at the same time, you deleting televisions from the party in the woods just. That is the grand hypocrisy right there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right?

[Brian Green]

It's like we're. You know, they used to say, erasing.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I mean, rewriting history, it is not.

[Brian Green]

In any meaningful way, but. Yes, it is. But we used to say this.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Like family albums, for instance. I'm sorry, we'll get to your. They used to say, but family albums. You know, I've had some death in the family recently, and they. I've been going through a lot of family albums, old family albums. And those pictures were real. Yeah, we're real.

[Brian Green]

Because you couldn't alter them.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right. In some cases, think, like, what about future generations of looking back on their parents or their grandparents? That kind of thing?

[Brian Green]

It's all going to be manipulated. Yeah, yeah, It's a manipulated reality. It's an alternative reality. This is.

[Christina]

This.

[Brian Green]

This is a break from reality. And now it is what it is. We're here where we're here. And so you can't blame somebody for getting caught up in it, I guess. But, you know, for. For me, when we used to go to those parties in the woods, there was a saying that would go around the camp sometimes, and it was see you back in reality. Right. So people would leave and you. You wouldn't say goodbye. You'd be like, see you back in reality.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yep.

[Brian Green]

And when the reality is not the reality, it's like when you even go. When you go somewhere to get away from the reality, but then you can't even pronounce that reality in the In. In a way that's real, right? It's kind of up, actually.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Well, which made me think, too. I was thinking about this whole thing too, earlier, and it was. I was thinking about people dating on the dating apps. Like, no wonder a lot of people aren't staying together or making it past the first date. I mean, you see pictures of somebody and you show up. They're totally different.

[Brian Green]

Completely different.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. This. I have so many friends who have been through this. When I was on Tinder, I know that at least one of the people that I met up in with real life had put pictures that were not representative, but I didn't really give a shit, to be honest with you. I was kind of like, okay, you know, Guilty. A little guilty, right? It was kind of like a little guilty. Yeah, guilty. Ish. Of, you know, putting some younger photographs up. But whatever. She was a lovely person to talk to, at least on the chat, and then she ended up in a tree and. Okay, it's fine.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right?

[Brian Green]

So, yeah, it's. You just wonder, like, how do we have a. How can we move toward a common purpose as human beings if we can't even share a common reality? It's really kind of scary, actually. And I think that's why maybe we're in the place where we're at is because there's a lot of alternate. Remember when the word alternate facts, and it's like, alternate facts. No, facts are facts. They can't be alternate facts. It can't be an alternate truth. Remember when that was a big thing that was going around other people, other countries, ne' er do wells. People who don't mean us any good, trolls. They're all injecting alternate facts, alternate realities into our reality. And it really makes me wonder, like, how much longer we got left on this little spinning ball, because we are tearing ourselves apart and we can't even agree on shared reality. And that's why I am a pragmatic pragmatist. A father, a son, a mediocre lover. All right, lots more to talk about. We'll be back in just a moment.

[Christina]

I know you're already on your phone, so pull up Instagram and follow us at the commercial break, and then follow us on TikTok@TCB podcast. Done. Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-4333, TCV. Or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story or anything, really. We're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-4333, TCV and don't forget to check out tcdpodcast.com because that's got it all. Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I wanted to share with you a story that I read that they basically took a poll of Gen the Gen Z and forward generations and 60, I think it was 68% said that they never turn on their phone ringer or notifications or for any reason. They don't even have family members as people who can call and it would ring. It's do not disturb 247 is what they're doing. And I thought that was very interesting. I mean I turned on do not disturb like when we're recording.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You don't want to be disturbed?

[Brian Green]

When I don't want to be disturbed. Exactly. Well, I am disturbed, but I don't want to be disturbed by you. I don't want to be additionally disturbed, if you know what I mean. And I thought this to be super fascinating that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And the reasons given were pretty, I think, self explanatory. I don't want to be anxious about who's calling or texting me and what they're saying. It's like it's procrastination at the highest level. And I get this, I totally understand this. They don't want to be anxious, they don't want to answer the phone because they feel awkward talking on the phone and they don't want to feel the obligation to respond to text messages on a different time. So I wanted to share what I do when it comes to communications like this. First of all, I only check emails once or twice every month at the beginning of the month, at the end of the month. So if you're trying to get a hold of me, that's why I'm not responding.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes, I've noticed this.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I don't, I don't. I'm not as quick to respond to text messages as I used to be. In other words, if there's something else that I feel I need to be present for, I just put the phone away. Even if I see the text message I'm like, okay, I can respond later, it's not an emergency. And if you call me, there is a high likelihood that you will not get me to answer the phone because I don't like. I just. The phone had made it so easy for everyone to get a hold of everybody else. And if you don't answer in one second Then you're being a dick or you're being dismissive or you're not ant. You know, you're not doing what I ask you to do.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Go ahead and set the standard.

[Brian Green]

I set the standard at my last job. I turned off the slack. That's slack. That slack. And I know so many people who agree with this. That slack is awful.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I've never really used it.

[Brian Green]

It's a messaging platform.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I know what it is.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Build teams and all this other stuff. Chrissy, let me tell you something. Slack is the dev devil at work. How do you get anything done? Because if you're constantly being slacked. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to get slacked. I want to slack off. That's what I want to do. The only, only way I want to slack is when I'm slacking off. That's my natural position in life. That's what I want to do. I just want to relax.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I don't want to answer your question for the 10th time today. It's crazy. It's crazy. That's why the commercial break has now got a Slack channel you can join. And if someone wants to be the moderator, I'll hand it to you. No problem.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You did start the Discord.

[Brian Green]

I did start a Discord channel for the commercial break called the commercial Break, original as it may seem. You can join that Discord server if you would like to. We actually tried this about three years ago.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know when I went to go download it to my phone. Oh, it just re downloaded it and it said I had joined in 2021. I didn't remember that.

[Brian Green]

I think we needed to remember that the audience was vastly different than it is now. I'm not sure any of those people are still hanging around. And if they are, they never joined the Slack channel. I think we had four people that joined the Slack channel, two of which were family members. Discord. Sorry.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You could slack on my.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'm not. I'm not installing slack on my phone. I actually, you know, when I. Way back in the day when I started working at an Internet marketing company, like right after Google kind of came online. The first three years after Google came online, it was whole cottage industry.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The beginning of.

[Brian Green]

The beginning of time. Yes, the beginning of time. There's probably people listening right now is going, there was a beginning of Google. It's not always been around. No, no, it hasn't. I actually remember at&t being Baby Bell. That's what I remember. Southern Company. The Southern Bell. No, Southern Bell. Remember that. Yeah, that's. I think that's where I got my first cell phone service from. Southern Bell or singular, Cricket Wireless. Whatever.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So the company had installed on all of the company computers had installed this similar type of messaging service, though it was very rudimentary.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I remember how anxious that system made me because the message would just, like, pop up in the corner of your computer, Right. But we were all in an office that was no. Probably no bigger than two of these studios put together. And there were just desks, and there was like 10 of us, and we could all see each other and talk to each other in the same room. You could literally ask me the question, and I could hear it. You didn't even have to raise your voice, right? Yeah, but people would, you know, they'd message you, and they'd be like, did you get that report yet? And I'd be like, motherfucker, I'm working on the goddamn report right now. And I'd speak while they would channel me, right? They'd. Whatever it was called. And so one day, I get a phone. I get a. I got a message. Can you please come into the office? The only person who had an office was the CEO of the business, right? And so I walk in. Close the door, Brian. His is how good.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's always a good sign. Close the door.

[Brian Green]

He had, like, this fake deep voice. He's like, close the door, Brian. He made his voice deeper, I think, for effect. Close the door, Brian. And his name. Okay. Anyway, I don't want to say his name, but. Okay. So I close the door and sit down for a second. We've all noticed your unwillingness to use the messaging system to respond here inside of the office. And I was like, honestly, dude, like, we got nine people working for us, right? We're all in the same 10 square feet. We can't just talk to each other. That to be a secret. Sometimes we need communications to be private, and we don't want to disrupt other people's working. If you wouldn't mind adhering to the messaging policy. And I'm like, the messaging policy? What is that? Kindly respond within five minutes if you're inside of the office. But I refused because it just stood your ground. I was young. I was dumb. I was full of dumb. I was young. I had come and I was full of dumb, okay? And so I just refused. I don't know why, but I just refused to do this. And this was like an ongoing tit for tat. A taunt. A taunt, if you will. Between me and the CEO of the business. But the whole office started getting in arguments about it because now there were other people who agreed with me and some that didn't. So somebody would message me that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that. And I'd respond with using my voice. They'd come across, it'd be like, you know, hey, do you have that proposal together? Yeah, I'm working on it right now. And I get a message instantaneously. Use the messaging. I can hear you use the messaging. And I'd be like, no, I just say it out loud. I'd be like, no, you're not adhering to company policy. Is nine people in an office really a company or is it just my with like a couple of friends hanging out, doing some work together. I mean, come on, let's get it together. And then when you get inside of a bigger organization, fucking forget about. There's a thousand messages coming at you at the same time. I know people out there right now are listening that just hate slack. They just have refused to say it. I think a slack, a slack off. This is what we should do. Just like let's encourage a national slack off where everybody just turns off that slack for various reasons. It's got to raise your anxiety level 30 times when you're inside of an office or a corporate environment and everybody can get a hold of you at every second and they all demand an answer right fucking then how do you get anything done?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know, I feel like I used to get annoyed with the emails that would come through when you're. But at least with the emails you.

[Brian Green]

Felt no obligation to get to it quickly, right? Yeah. And you know, until they start doing read receipts and all that stuff. I see that you read my email, I'll off honestly. And then I don't know who these dumb dumbs are. We still have their read receipts on the imessage but every once in a blue moon I catch it and I'm like, that's stupid. Because then I know that they're purposefully ignoring me for hours on end. You read my message. That's the dumbest thing. That's the first thing I do when I get a new iPhone is turn off those damn, I can read receive. That's awful. That's why sometimes I don't Even like using WhatsApp is because you get read receipts on WhatsApp. I mean you could turn them off but you, you know, it's natural default. Yeah. The two little blue check marks that come up that say someone has seen it. I mean, I guess that doesn't mean they've read it, but they've seen it. They've opened it up. They know that it's there. Now you're purposefully ignoring them. But, like, at least with an email, you got a little bit of a grace period, you know? You do. I call it like four to five days for me. You know what I'm saying? If you send me an email, I'll get back to you in four to 12 business days. Because I can't concentrate on what I.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Really need to get done with the constant distraction.

[Brian Green]

I know. It's like having an extra child, having to check my email all the time. Having slack is like having five extra children. It's like they're always tugging at your coattails for stupid little things. But your fire does not constitute my emergency. And that is a terrible way to go about your organization. How do you even accomplish anything at all?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I mean, I see at the, at the grand, at the high level that it's a. You can be a useful tool.

[Brian Green]

Sure.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But it's gone off the rails.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. It's all gone off the rails. Yeah. And that's also why flip phones are becoming a very popular thing.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That is right.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Because they only do two things. Call and text. That's it. Can't get on the Internet. Can't get email, can't get instant message. Can't get none of that shit. And I am this close to joining that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

That parade of flip phones because I just, just. I think I do want to go back to a simpler time in life because I can remember it. A simpler time in life when you weren't inundated with notifications about every single thing.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I turn off my notifications on everything. Not the do not disturb part, but I was getting so many notifications. The New York Times, my ring doorbell, my this, that, the other. I finally was like, I've had it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And with the watch. It goes to your watch, too.

[Brian Green]

Oh, ding, ding, bing, bing.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. And so I was trying to put.

[Brian Green]

My baby together to bed the other day, and the ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And every time she'd open her eyes and then she, like, reached back to try and grab my hand because she knows what it is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I'm like, this poor kid is going to have anxiety about the ding ding before she's even two years old. It's insane. When do you think this. I think this all started with blackberries. If I'm going to be honest.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's true.

[Brian Green]

Because BlackBerry BBM made it possible to get a hold of someone instantly and to be able to tell that they were online, to tell that they had read your stuff. And I think that's like the second that that fucking radio communications company, the one that we worked for, Clear Channel, the second they gave me a BlackBerry, I was so excited. It became a temple of doom within three months.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I remember going on, you know, going to actually see clients when I know there's the time you said you were going to see clients and you weren't. You were going home to take a nap because you were hungover from the night before. But there were other times when you actually did go.

[Brian Green]

Yes, on occasion.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And a lot of times too you would take a manager maybe.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And they. I just remember me driving and them just being cons just head down constantly.

[Brian Green]

Because that's essentially what a corporate job is these days is responding to incredibly dumb emails. Do you know what I'm saying? All hands staff, it comes to our attention that some people have been late to the bi daily sales meeting. So now everybody is remanded to the sales room at 8am sharp or you will get a demerit or whatever it is. Please respond if you understand. And then you know, some shithead has to write a six page paragraph. Why? You know, this is why everybody needs to be on time and you're wasting your time. Reply all. It's just like, man, really, can we just ignore this email because it's not important. No, you can't. You have to respond to it. It's the dumbest thing. And I feel like sometimes people get in their email and they, they think they have like a little bit of a bully pulpit, you know what I'm saying? They want to push you around by writing you little cutting little emails that like, you know, poke at your belly all the time. Bang, bang, bang. You know, when are you going to pay your phone bill? You're 70 days late on that invoice. Fuck you. Is that really important? I could say the same thing about you. You're 70 days late taking my payment. How's that? Turn it back on you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Little annoyances.

[Brian Green]

Verizon wants to get paid again this month. Fuck you, Verizon. Yeah, and you know, I have to be honest. So a long time ago I instituted a. See generally check emails in the morning, check emails at night. That's the only thing that I do. Yeah, I check them the first day in the morning, first thing in the morning. So I know I'm gonna have a Miserable day.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And then I check him at night so I know I'm not gonna get any sleep. I just. How I do it. I just.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So many emails now. I mean, I just have to do a quick scan now and just be like, is there anything that's super important? No. Okay, moving on. To get out of this, this, you.

[Brian Green]

Know, email app, I show Patrick, my little brother, my phone. Sometimes he looks at it and he goes crazy. I have 16,290 94 emails that are unread. Yeah. And you know what? It's going to keep growing because I don't give a if it's not important and I'm not reading.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Said that to me too. Then I think I just turned off all like, where you can't see.

[Brian Green]

Where you can't see it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Maybe I just don't.

[Brian Green]

I just put read all. Sometimes I just go read all, whatever, who cares? And then I don't even know. It all gets lost.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But I, I do that as a form of self preservation and a form of rebellion a little bit. Like, I don't want to be managed by anybody else.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

That's why I got this job. That's why I created this job for myself. So I can answer to nobody about nothing. You know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And say you're going to do things and don't do them and it's okay.

[Brian Green]

Listen, do you know how many things we've said on this commercial break? Let's go back to the original conversation about Discord. We've actually had a Discord server for three years. We made mention of it once. Yeah. No one joined it. And so we just, just never touched it again until I logged on last night and I was like, oh, Discord server, that sounds like a good idea. Let's try that again. So you can join the Discord server now. Live.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We're thinking of doing. We're kicking around the idea, which means it probably won't happen, but of watching the Mike Tyson.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Live and doing commentary. So if you're interested in that, text us or join the Discord server, let us know that you'd like to hear that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

If we don't show up in the first 10 minutes, we're not coming.

[Brian Green]

If you send me an email about me being late to the Mike Tyson fight, I might get reminded that that night is the Mike Tyson fight. Seriously? No, but we are kicking around the idea of doing the Mike Tyson fight live. Like commentary live, while we all watch it on Netflix. And then Chrissy and I will do the commentary live as we watch Jake Paul hopefully get his ass kicked. So if you're interested in that, do text us at 422-432-12-4333 tcb. 212-4333 tcb. Or jump on the Discord server or send us an email at info@tcp podcast. Because I don't answer them. Everybody else does. Esther goes into the email sometimes, and she's like, when's the last time you checked this? And I'm like, I don't. October of 22. It's just like the 62 voicemails that we had because I couldn't figure out how to get the voicemail. And then I was terribly disappointed that none of them were all that interesting. It's like, hey, Brian, great show. And I'm like, okay, thanks.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Can you promote my book?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, can you promote my book? That I'll do. But, you know, you got to go through the right channels there. I can't just. Just, you know, listen, that was. I. And. And that's a. That. That's cool. You know, we have people that sometimes will contact us, and they'll be like, hey, you know, I got a book or I got a service or I got a product. Can you do some promotion for that? And I say, sure. You just have to pay us an actual US American dollars. And we'll be happy to do that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Because, you know, there is a. There's a tant going on here between us and the sponsors. We got to make sure that we. We make the money. How would the sponsors, who usually don't pay on time for us to run their ads, how would they feel if all of a sudden we were just giving out free airtime? How would they feel?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Did you email them about that payment?

[Brian Green]

I did email them about that payment, and I got the same response I give to them, which is crickets. Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp. I think I used to have a cricket. Did I have a cricket noise in here?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

There it is.

[Brian Green]

Yep. Hey, how's that payment coming, Mr. Network? Okay, just check it in. Same answer as last time. Just check it in. Oh, my God, we're terrible. All right, let's take a break, and then we'll be back. I'm gonna tell you about another thing that annoys me in my life. Another notification.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm looking forward to it.

[Brian Green]

Ring doorbells. We'll be back.

[Christina]

What? Oh, hi. It's Christina again, here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio. Video and TCBDO. Give us a follow on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok CBpodcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember. So come call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-4333, TCB. Once more for the people in the back. That's 212-4333, TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at YouTube.com thecommercial break. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

[Brian Green]

All right, so I'm hanging out at the house yesterday and you know, we got a ring doorbell camera. Like, everybody has ring doorbell cameras. On a side note, did I tell you how when we went to Spain and we were staying at the short term rental houses, how a lot of them had cameras inside?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And that really unnerved me. I felt like that's a little weird. Why do they have cameras and not cameras you couldn't see, like, hidden cameras that I wouldn't have been bothered by because I wouldn't have known they're there, but the actual kind you can see, like, hanging on the wall. And someone told me that they mandated that by law in case there's something happening inside the house, the police can turn on the camera. That turned out to be not true. Spain does not have a law where you actually have to have cameras inside the house.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So they were just spying on you?

[Brian Green]

They were just spying us. They were watching me change, which probably they took the cameras down right after that. They were like, well, this is terrible. Look at those DD canters. Those things are dragging across the floor. That's highly disturbing. Is he in some kind of circus or something? He should be. What are those? Is that two bowling balls and a hammock? What's going on there? I don't understand. So. But what it was, what it ended up being was they would give you a discount on security services or something like that. Apparently. Whatever. Okay. I don't want to miss, but I, I heard one thing from one Spaniard. I heard another thing from another Spanish.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, I just saw, too, that Airbnb was. That's what I was gonna say.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. They banned all indoor cameras. And I'm, I'm. I think this is a fantastic move. I mean, I understand the need and want to watch yourself and your house and your things.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But if you're not in that game, then don't allow people into your house in the first place. On short term rentals, you just gotta trust that it's gonna happen. And listen, I've worked with air before and you know, something goes wrong, you know, they'll, they'll. They're usually good about figuring out what the next steps are, so.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And they also have a thing. I noticed that it said for outside cameras, they can't be pointed at the sauna.

[Brian Green]

Oh, they can't be pointed at the sauna. Oh.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I didn't even think about them having a camera.

[Brian Green]

I didn't think about that either.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But it makes me think about. About specific times.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, it makes me think about specific times too. I think you were at the cabin one time. I'm not sure you have anything to worry about. But me, on the other hand, I might have a lot to worry about.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think Jeff and I might have.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, thanks.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

To worry about.

[Brian Green]

Maybe proof that I have more children than the ones that are running around this house. So. Ring doorbells, doorbell cameras in general are another necessity, but annoyance of life. Right. It used to be there used to be a time when you would just ring the doorbell and you felt comfortable that you could go answer it and it probably wasn't going to be a surprise unless you were wanted by the law or something like that. You know what I'm saying? Waiting for to be served in a lawsuit or something. But now we have ring doorbell cameras. And I got to admit, when it, when they first came out, I felt a certain affinity for them. I was like, oh, this is a great idea. You can now see who's at your front door. You can talk back to them if you're not home.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You know, you can monitor the general comings and goings of what's going on at your particular location. It seemed like a great idea.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, there is a level of security it provides.

[Brian Green]

I agree. But into that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Speaking of notifications, I had to turn my notifications off for that. The wind would blow.

[Brian Green]

And you know, you can turn the sensitivity down, right? Oh, you guys turned it down. Oh, okay.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm like, where's the move? What, what's happening?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, what's happening? My dog barks. Now when she hears the notifications on Astrid's phone, she bar. She knows what's going on, but she barks at everything. I can't say that's directly connected, but the other day we get this weird email from like the city that we live in and it's like, dear ring customer, we would like to put you as a part of our security, you know, blanket or whatever they're calling it. And you know, use your camera security blanket. So the police can now tap in directly into my ring doorbell camera. Fuckity fuck fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Yeah. As a way to monitor like kind of like a street camera that they would put up. And now they're using people's ring doorbells to do that. Now I'm not sure with, you know, they could get a warrant and probably look at anything that they wanted to look at, but this seemed way creepy to me. I was like, no, I'm not gonna be a part of your big, big brother scenario. No. Even though I got this device I'm carrying around all the time, listening to me. Monitors my location and listens to you. But I draw the line at my front door. Even though you can see within three feet where I am in my house, if you were to connect to my phone. I draw the line of my front. I'm protecting the stranger. Amazon delivery guy who shows up at my door three times a fucking day. Yeah. With his oversized boxes. So I get. So I'm sitting here in the studio and I'm doing some work, and then I hear the dog barking. But barking in a certain way where I know somebody is close to the house. Even though we have taped up all the windows to make sure that Blue cannot see outside so she won't bark. She still knows. Somehow she hears that her. She smells it or whatever. Anyway, she starts barking and then the doorbell rings and I have the window open here and you can. There's a line of sight. Kind of like if the person was to back up from my door a little bit, they could see inside this. This room. So I run, I jump on the floor, stop, drop and roll. I did. I swear to God. I jumped on the floor and I crawled out of the room and then I crawled down the hallway because there's other windows open in the house. I crawl in and then I go into a closet where I know I can just peek just a little bit and see what's going on. And I see a car out front. I don't recognize it. And. And then I turn on the ring camera so that I could see what's going on. And I see somebody there. I do not recognize this human being. I have no idea who she is or why she's at my door. She's an older lady, I can tell that much. And she looks, you know, not necessarily threatening, but she trying to get me to sign up to vote.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

She have a poll she wants me to do. She's selling some kind of brownie that's going to make me sick for her daughter's vacation to Washington D.C. whatever. I don't want to be a part of it. I'm not interested. You know, I've long since stopped answering the phone and the door. Just to let you know, my slack, my email, everything, anything that, where I can get notifications. I long since stop answering.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

So you know, I don't say anything. I'm just looking at the door. Door. So she rings it. A total, A total. There's two knocks and a total of three rings on the doorbell. It's way too much. She's there for like seven and a half minutes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, she's looking in the window too.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she's peering in the window, trying to see what's going on. Of course the. I have my window open so you can hear the TV blasting. I've got like hot food and you know, in direct eyesight you can see that, you know, my stew is still steaming. If she's a detective, she clearly knows someone's in that. But then this starts happening. I'm gonna play her voice because I don't know who she is and I'm sure she's not listening to the commercial break. But I'm gonna let you listen to what this, this lady said to the ring doorbell. Not even to the ring doorbell camera. She was just talking out loud.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

She was. I know, so weird.

[Brian Green]

Okay, let me see here. I'm gonna have to, I'll have to.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And doesn't she in the beginning too like say oh yes, hello, hello, hello.

[Brian Green]

And I'm gonna bleep out the. Because she says the address. So I'm gonna bleep that out obviously. Oh wait, hold on one second. Why did it do that? And that's the other thing is that you know, anytime you turn the. Here she comes. Oh wait, wait, hold on. This is a technical.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I was in the neighborhood, literally some business to take care of and I found myself and I just, you know, I thought about you and just thought I would drop by and just say hello. But I wish you the best and I hope you're, I hope you're really doing well and taking care of yourself.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so that's what she said. Yeah, out loud, to no one in particular. She said that. Now, now the lady that she is referring to died 12 years ago before we even got into this house. She passed away. I wasn't going to be the one to Break the information to her.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

You know, I was going to answer the door and be like, hey, yeah, your friend died, first of all. Second of all, I'm protecting the dead woman because it doesn't sound like they were friends in the first place. Like, if you show up at some dead woman's house 12 years later and say, I was thinking about you, I really hope you're doing well. That sounds like a fight that went sideways. And now she's making amends. 12 years later. Like, she got sober and she's going through the 12 steps. I want to talk to you about that time I fucked your husband. We had children, and I know I'm your sister, but I just was in the area and I thought I'd come by and say hello. I mean, how strange is it? It's very strange to show up at a house.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

A decade plus later and then expect that anyone is going to still be living at that house.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Because obviously she has not spoken to the. The woman since she died.

[Brian Green]

I know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

12 years ago.

[Brian Green]

She doesn't know. She has no idea.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Communication with this other woman. But she just shows up at the house.

[Brian Green]

She shows up at the house. She does. She has. Obviously doesn't have a phone number for her. And, you know, I know of the lady she speaks because she lived at this house 12 years ago. And the neighbors have said she was a, you know, kind of a little bit of a recluse, but she was nice enough and she got older and she got sick and she passed. And so I know this, but of course I'm not going to say anything to this lady, but just the audacity to show up at my fucking front door and start blabbing about it. By the way, we've renovated this house four times since we've lived in it. It looks nothing like the house that was 12 years ago. Nothing like it. Like you would maybe take a clue from the fact that you're showing up at a house that looks nothing like it did 12 years ago. There's no cars in the driveway that you can see. Why would you just show up and start blabbing off? I would never do that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

I wouldn't even show up at someone's front door.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's like leaving a message.

[Brian Green]

I know. Yeah, it was like, yeah, hey, it's me, your sister. I know it's been about 26 years since I stopped by, but I was down the road, so I thought I'd show up and talk to myself. Look in your windows, stare at your dog. Just generally creep everybody out, you know, like I used to do when I was on crack. But I done since sobered up. I just got out of my. I just got out of the treatment center. 26 years in the treatment center. I'm feeling much better now. So, you know, get a chance, call me on that payphone I used to have. Oh, one more thing. You know, dad, he died. I forgot to call you. But give it. You know, we'll get in touch next time I'm down here on this road. I'll swing by and leave you another message. All right, talk to you soon. Bye, honey.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

She was sleeping. A message, but in person.

[Brian Green]

She was. Yeah. Hey, I forgot to RSVP to your oldest daughter's wedding in 1989. And I just wanted to drop by and let you know we weren't able to make it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Hope you're well.

[Brian Green]

We had something to do. Hope everything turned out good. All right then. Nice dog you have. I like what you've done with the place. I'll talk to you later. All right then. Bye. Bye. Gotta get in my car and go home now. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I mean, I can't believe she first of all had never had not made person to person contact in some way in all of these 12 years. Talk to someone.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Who talked to her. Yeah. Obviously they weren't friends. Like the only person that I would do that with. If I said, like if I thought there was an emergency that needed immediate care and concern. Like if I hadn't heard from you for three days, you know, I'd be like, all right, I better go by hold these house and see that everything's okay.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

I mean, we have friends like this too, right? But we know it's time to go over there and knock on the door. But you don't do that. Hey, it's me. I just was in the area, in the general Atlanta area. You know, I live in Utah, but I was just in the general Atlanta area for a business meeting. I thought I'd swing by and see how those old bones were doing of yours. I remember you had real bad emphysema.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I hope you recover nicely.

[Brian Green]

I hope you stop smoking cigarettes. That's what she said.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I mean, a card of a call. Some. She obviously knew the address. I think I would have like lettered it first.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I mean, I think I would have dropped something in the mailbox like. Hey, it's me, Susie. Sorry about that fight we had. Hey, it's me. I done got a cell phone. Remember we talked about that two decades ago. So call me back on your ring doorbell.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's so strange.

[Brian Green]

Give me a ring back on the ring and I'll talk to you later. I'll try again tomorrow. Bye bye. Hey, it's me, Susie. Best friend. Sorry we lost touch after. You know, you couldn't buy actual telephones anymore to install in your house, but I just wanted to stop by. I happen to be in the general Georgia vicinity. Thought I'd take a 14 hour detour to come say hello. Sure. I'm glad you're doing well. I see the TV on. What are you watching? 90 Day Fiance. I sure do like that. My 600 pound life. Well, that's why I was checking in on you. I wanted to see if Dr. Nozzard could help you, but I guess not. You're not home right now, so. All right, ring me back on the ring. Why don't you swing by my place and leave me a message when you get a chance. Bye. Bye now. I think I just peed a little bit. I'm sorry. Sorry, we need to take a break. Oh my God. Hey, it's me. I just got your message on my ring doorbell. I thought I'd come by, leave you message on your the. It's so good to hear your voice. All right then. I guess I'll be talking to you later. Swing by anytime. Leave a message with the doorbell. What the. Honestly, she to voicemail my ring doorbell. She did and then scooted out of here just as quickly as she came. She didn't even leave a name. I don't know. How do I get a hold of her?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

Oh my gosh. That is the funniest thing in a long time.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Thank you. You're welcome, lady.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, thank you lady, whoever you are.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, 30 minutes of high entertainment, high.

[Brian Green]

Class comedy is me, Brian and Chrissy. Just wanted to stop by and thank you for leaving us such a nice voicemail on our ring doorbell. All right, talk to you later. Oh my God. I'm gonna start just walking by random houses with ring doorbells and leaving them a voice message. We should do that. Yeah, I was just in the neighborhood. Stop. We should. I'm gonna start leaving random. You're well, hope you're doing good. I see you got a dead possum out front. I'm gonna cook it. Talk to you later. Bye. Bye. Hope you don't mind. Took the dead possum out of your yard. That's a good eating right there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh my God.

[Brian Green]

I'm gonna start leaving random phone messages with people. Hey, it's me. I was a buyer house earlier, but the ring doorbell didn't have any more room for a message so I thought I'd call. I'm just gonna make it non descript. Hey, just wanted to call and see that you're doing okay. All right, talk to you soon. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes, you have to.

[Brian Green]

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna record them. People around the country are gonna get nice messages from some random podcast host. Oh my God. Would you like to come on our ring doorbell? Leave us a text message and we'll tell you how to get to the ring.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We might check it, we might check it.

[Brian Green]

We might not. 1-212-4333 TCB. That's 212-4333 TCB. If you want to be on the show for an ask for dcb. You got a story to tell. You want to introduce yourself or you just want to say hello to our ring doorbell? Feel free to text us.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Stop on by.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, leave us a message first. Then stop on by and leave us a ring doorbell message. Then you can text us and we'll text you back. It's a bit non complicated. We want to make it as easy as possible. Or email us and we'll check it in 2027 info@TCB podcast. You can leave us an email there too if you want to come on the show. We're going to start doing that and we'd love you to be a part of the commercial break. So come on, come on, come on, let's do it. Let's do it together. Also you can go to tcbpodcast.com that's where you find out more information about the show. You can watch all the video, listen to all the audio, all there from one location. TCBpodcast.com also get your free piggy front and sticker by hitting the contact us button on the website. Right. Drop down menu says I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address, we will send it right to you and we might stop by. Yeah, we might stop by. That's right. Hey, you never know. You never know. I would honestly start doing that if I didn't fear getting shot, right? Yeah, people are getting killed for a lot less than that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So go to the website, get your free piggy friend sticker at the commercial break on Instagram TCB podcast on Tik Tok and YouTube.com the commercial break. So dial us up. Please do. We'd love to hear from you. All right, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today, so. But I'll tell you that I love you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

I'll say best to you, best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I do say, we will say, and we must say goodbye. Bye. I gotta get some cocaine. Gonna be crazy.