Sailing On Noah's Ark!

Summary

The Commercial Break: "Sailing On Noah’s Ark!"

Release Date: August 21, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Episode Theme: Absurd reality TV, medical drama obsessions, and unhinged sales wisdom from “Cold Call Paul.”

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Overview

In this delightfully chaotic episode, Bryan and Krissy riff on their current pop culture obsessions, especially bizarre reality TV and medical dramas, all while lampooning and dissecting a hilariously misguided sales "guru" named Cold Call Paul. The pair’s signature banter delivers a refreshing send-up of internet hustlers and the eternal weirdness of television, peppered with rants, confessions, and affectionate mockery. If you love the feeling of stumbling into a wild conversation at a bar and laughing until your cheeks hurt, this episode is your new best friend.

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Segment Breakdown & Timestamps

1. Cold Call Paul Song & Introduction

[00:02 – 01:41]

• The episode opens with a parody song from “Paul,” a fictional (or maybe real?) persistent sales caller, complete with a chorus chanting “Cold Call Paul.” The sketch is packed with over-the-top lines about sales desperation and Kung Fu metaphor.
  • Memorable lyric: "I followed you on Instagram. I even sent your wife a strip program." (01:05 – 01:21)
• Sets a goofy, absurdist tone.

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2. Reality TV Rant: "Are You My First?"

[02:03 – 08:48]

• Bryan launches into his new reality show obsession: a fictional-sounding show called "Are You My First?" on Hulu—a competition where 36 “alleged virgins” (Bryan and Krissy doubt the veracity) gather on an island.
  • Bryan (03:20): "Everyone looking to get fucked on Disney’s island."
  • Krissy asks questions about the premise, and the two debate whether "hymen check" is a real thing and the feasibility of verifying virginity on TV.
  • Bryan (04:45): “They're hoping that a few people get deflowered on the show. Makes for good television. Everyone’s rooting for everyone to get laid on these shows anyway.”
• The hosts riff on contestants giving various reasons for abstaining, some described as “girlboss” power moves, and mock the bizarre incentives of modern reality TV.
• Parallels drawn to shows like The Bachelor, Love Island, plus TLC’s failed “The Virgins.”
  • Krissy (06:34): “Nothing wrong with being a virgin. More power to you.”
• [04:00 – 07:35]: A tangent comparing losing your virginity to drugs and their own twisted podcast.
• Brian (06:33): “It’s up there. Heroin, crystal meth, a new episode of The Commercial Break.”

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3. TV Obsession Corner: "Aliens Earth," "Fargo", and "The Pit"

[08:50 – 18:33]

• Bryan shares updates on two series:
  • Aliens Earth: Sci-fi show, five different alien species, but episode three “took a step backwards.” (08:48–09:49)
  • Fargo: Another new season rumored; hosts are excited.
• "The Pit": Both are obsessed with this medical drama for its realism. Discussion about showrunner Noah Hawley (mistakenly confused with “Noah Wiley”).
  • Bryan (11:30): “What I like about The Pit is its ultra realism… there’s not a lot of extra baggage or drama in this show.”
• They riff on “the drug addict doctor,” tracheotomies, ER flashbacks, and how “Pit” eschews senseless romance for gritty, day-in-the-life action.
  • Krissy (14:52): “There were a lot of tracheotomies going on.”
  • Bryan (15:14): “Where has Noah Wyle been all my life?”
• Bryan confesses a fan-crush on Noah Wyle, jokes about ideal threesome with Dua Lipa. (“Trach me, Noah!” 18:33)

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4. Celebrity Crush Confessions

[18:33 – 23:03]

• Bryan describes following Dua Lipa’s life online, Krissy adds to the roster of their “island” crew for a fantasy below deck cruise: Noah Wyle and Dua Lipa.
  • Bryan (22:06): “On our private yacht in the Mediterranean, just sucking and fucking all the time.”
• The riff continues with jokes about yacht sanitation and post-coital routines.

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5. Cold Call Paul: The Martial Arts of Social Media Sales

[24:36 – 59:21]

a. Setting the Stage

[24:36 – 27:39]

• Bryan & Krissy introduce Cold Call Paul, a “guru” who makes low-fi YouTube videos teaching sales through social media, branding it the “martial arts of sales.”
  • Krissy (27:01): “He’s a lovable guy.”
• The duo mock his “verbal diarrhea” of buzzwords that never land on actionable advice.

b. Video Review Segment

[28:15 – 59:21]

• The hosts play and dissect segments of “Part Three” of Paul’s series—titled “How to Get Qualified Leads on Social Media.”

• Takeaways (or lack thereof):

  • Paul’s wardrobe changes—military pants to “suburban dad” jeans—get more discussion than his tactics.
  • Paul’s steps: Get qualified leads, convert them to sales, build relationships, but never gives actual details.
    • Bryan (32:21): “Nothing gets my pickle in a tickle more than someone showing up with a PowerPoint with the words they’re about to say written on it.”
  • Paul’s advice is to “stick out like a sore thumb,” research who follows/likes/shares your content, and cold call those people.
    • Krissy (41:49): “Say I just started a lawn care company... ok, I’m going to target people with lawns.”
    • Bryan (43:03): “Can you open up your phone and follow me, then I’ll call you later?”
  • Endless mocking of his apparent assumption that any like or follow is a sales lead and treating social media as an endless cold-calling list.
    • E (54:41): “I was researching your middle child and noticed he lost a tooth—I can play the tooth fairy and cut your lawn for $49.99.”
  • Paul warns against “the bot strategy”—buying fake followers—and is praised for keeping it “real,” but mostly for comedic value.

• Bryan, exasperated (58:25): “I wish there was just one bullet point...that we could take away and say at least we got that out of it.”

• E (59:21): “I did not understand a fucking word. Oh my god.”

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6. Show Wrap-Up & Merch Reminder

[59:21 – End]

• Bryan & Krissy close out, plugging TCB merch and recapping their gleeful confusion at Cold Call Paul’s methods.
• Flirt with the idea of calling every Instagram follower as the new “Cold Call Paul” strategy.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Reality TV:
  • Bryan (03:20): “Everyone looking to get fucked on Disney’s island.”
  • Krissy (06:34): “Nothing wrong with being a virgin. More power to you.”
• On The Pit:
  • Bryan (11:30): “What I like about The Pit is its ultra realism. There’s not a lot of extra baggage or drama.”
  • Krissy (14:52): “There were a lot of tracheotomies going on.”
  • Bryan (18:33): “Trach me, Noah. Trach me.”
• On Cold Call Paul:
  • Krissy (27:01): “He’s a lovable guy.”
  • Bryan (32:21): “There’s nothing more exciting than someone showing up to a meeting with a whiteboard or a PowerPoint that has the words you’re about to say written on it.”
  • E (43:03): “I want to stalk you on my Instagram growth strategy for converting sales to leads to sales.”
  • E (54:41): “I was researching, discovering and analyzing your middle child and I noticed he lost a tooth and I wanted to call and say, congratulations, I can cut your lawn for $49.99 a month.”
  • E (59:21): “I did not understand a fucking word. Oh, my god.”

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Episode Highlights (with Timestamps)

• Cold Call Paul song parody: [00:02–01:41]
• Are You My First? reality show skewering: [02:03–08:48]
• The Pit/ER tracheotomy banter: [13:00–14:52]
• Bryan’s crush fantasy (Noah Wyle & Dua Lipa): [18:33–23:03]
• Deep dive/destruction of Cold Call Paul’s “strategy”: [24:36–59:21]
• Host closing rants, merch plug, and social media jokes: [59:21–End]

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Tone & Style

Irreverent, self-aware, and joyfully snarky. The hosts gleefully dissect internet and TV absurdity with a blend of affection and teasing. If you’re looking for actionable advice—this isn’t the place. But for camaraderie, laughs, and wry pop culture commentary, it delivers in spades.

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Final Takeaways

• Bryan and Krissy have a deep (and deeply unserious) love for both trashy reality TV and hyper-detailed medical dramas.
• “Cold Call Paul” is essentially a living cautionary tale of sales advice gone awry—funny, bewildering, and ultimately, galvanizing for the hosts’ own new “strategy” of pranking their listeners.
• The Commercial Break remains the “Cheesecake Factory” of podcasts: overstuffed, eclectic, and always, always ridiculous.

“Does that make sense?” – Cold Call Paul [multiple times, never quite landing].

Transcript

[Paul]

Hello, my name is Paul. Thank you very much for taking my call. I have tried to find your home since you tried to block my calls on your cell phone. I'll be a friend. I'm your guy. I'll be your laundry folder. If you'll just buy. Here's the deal. I'll sell it all. I'm a black belt in the arts.

[Brian Green]

Of the.

[Paul]

Rang you once, rang you twice, Showed up at your office. Here's my advice. Please don't run. Don't try and stall. You can't resist the power of cold.

[Chorus/Group]

Cold call Cole. Call Paul. Cole. Call Paul. Cole. Call Paul. Code call Paul.

[Paul]

I've tried so hard. I've been so kind. I've driven by your office 20 times. I followed you on Instagram. I even sent your wife a strip program.

[Chorus/Group]

Code call Paul. Cold call Paul. Code call Paul. Code call Paul. Code call Paul.

[Paul]

Kung fu sales.

[Chorus/Group]

Cold call.

[Paul]

He is on a roll.

[Chorus/Group]

Call Paul. Code call.

[Rachel]

On this episode of the commercial, get below this deck.

[E]

Noah, service my yacht engine.

[Brian Green]

All due respect to my wife, of course, she. I actually asked her to be like, what have you go, yeah, good luck with that, Brian.

[E]

I've been there, done that.

[Brian Green]

Good luck.

[E]

Been there, done that. Don't need the T shirt. Thanks anyway. Tell Noah good luck. He farts in his sleep. Get out of there after sex. See you later. Dua Lipa would be like, did you shower today?

[Brian Green]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[E]

The party of the morning.

[Chorus/Group]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Chrissy]

Best to you, Brian.

[E]

Best to you out there on the podcast universe.

[Brian Green]

How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us.

[E]

My new reality show, Obsession is Will.

[Brian Green]

Youl Be My first?

[E]

Are you My first brand new show from the folks at Disney, Hulu, the family friendly show about 36 virgins.

[Chrissy]

Is it on that?

[Brian Green]

It's on Hulu.

[E]

They're all.

[Brian Green]

Everyone looking to get fucked on Disney's island.

[Chrissy]

Oh, my God.

[E]

Ah, Disney. I love Disney. I just love Disney with all my heart.

[Brian Green]

And they took a left turn at Albuquerque. We're betting, we're gambling, we're having sex.

[E]

We got aliens destroying people in bloody.

[Brian Green]

The bloodiest scenes of television I've ever seen in my entire life. And now we got 36 virgins all competing for the dick.

[E]

I love it.

[Chrissy]

Alleged virgins.

[E]

Allegedly. Allegedly virgins.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. How do you know?

[E]

What is hymen Check. I mean, what do you do? You can't do that.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And even a hymen isn't a for sure way to check. I mean, that. First of all, that's.

[Chrissy]

What about the guys?

[Brian Green]

That's, like crass. Well, the guys.

[E]

That's easy.

[Brian Green]

I think that one's easy. Do you listen to Alex Jones, Virgin?

[E]

There you go. Done. All right. Check your history.

[Brian Green]

There it is. You got it.

[E]

No, there's no way to verify that information.

[Brian Green]

And I guarantee the producers aren't looking to verify that information and what's happening on the island.

[Chrissy]

They're deflowering each other.

[Brian Green]

They're. Well, all of them have their varied reasons for being virgins. One girl says it's a power move that she believes.

[Chrissy]

And by the way, nothing wrong with being a virgin. More power to you.

[Brian Green]

God bless America. I don't give a shit. What do I care? It's not bothering me one bit.

[Chrissy]

But this is meant to hook up fellow virgins to then have sex is really the premise. Right?

[Brian Green]

I think at the end of the day, yes. They're hoping that a few people lose their virginity. The one. Are you my first? Right. I think they're hoping that a few people get deflowered on the show. Makes for good television. Everyone's rooting for everyone to get laid on these shows anyway. Love Island, Bachelor, Bachelorette, That's. You know, the overnights are really what everybody.

[E]

They're doing it on Disney.

[Cold Call Paul]

Plus.

[E]

This episode sponsored by D.

[Brian Green]

You're.

[E]

Going to have to change your name. Like HBO, SkinX plus, or whatever they're calling. This is. This is just.

[Brian Green]

Wow. You know that TLC for a short period of time, recently had that show. I'm gonna move this table just a little bit. If you need. If you need to move it to you, feel free. TLC for a very short amount of time, had that television show like Virgin the Virgins, or whatever it was called.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

It only lasted for about four episodes. And then the fifth episode, they just wrapped it up really quickly with quick synopsis of. I. I guess they took the last six episodes and just kind of put little.

[Chrissy]

That's like that other show we were watching about all the polygamy.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But there's a reason behind that. I got. I understood that. I think this was just bad ratings or maybe they figured out that no one really was a virgin. They just wanted to be on television.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But they had it on. And I don't know that it's all that fascinating that someone is a virgin. Like, okay. But the Varied reasons can be fascinating. Like one girl power move. I believe there's power in giving sex. I believe there's power in withholding sex, and I'm looking to keep that power in my corner. Cool. All right, girl boss move. Got it. 10, 4. I don't know who loses in that proposition. The people you would have sex with or you, because sex is, quite frankly, pleasurable. It's one of those things. It's one of. I don't know. It's up there.

[E]

It's got to be up there, right?

[Chrissy]

Yeah, for sure.

[Brian Green]

Heroin, crystal meth. A new episode of the commercial break. Losing your virginity on heroin on heroin and crystal meth while listening to the commercial.

[E]

Best.

[Brian Green]

Best podcast to have sex.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, it used to be.

[Brian Green]

But the varied reasons. I get that we can get into the stories. Like, some people obviously have a religious. Religious spin on it, though I highly question whether or not someone with real religious convictions would be on television.

[E]

Right.

[Brian Green]

On an island with 18, with 18 beautiful bodies, trying to resist the temptation. I don't know. Maybe some people just never had an opportunity to. One girl's afraid of penises. She's just afraid of penises. She just doesn't like them. She says, I don't like them. I don't want that in me, but I got to get over it. So this is. This is all very interesting to me. I've now watched about an episode and a half of it. It is very much like the Bachelor, Bachelorette Love island kind of vibe going on.

[Chrissy]

Okay?

[Brian Green]

And the host is Colton Underwood, the guy who was the famous virgin on the Bachelorette that one season. And so there's a lot of dick jokes. There's a lot of virginity puns. It's really terrible writing.

[Chrissy]

What are they doing?

[Brian Green]

Challenges.

[Chrissy]

Okay. Challenges.

[Brian Green]

They put him on the island. They booze him up, obviously, right? That's a good way to get everyone to get laid. Booze them up if that's what they're going to do. But then I don't know because we've only. I've only seen a little bit of it. There's 10 episodes, but they put them through the paces. Like, hey, we want you to give a sensual massage to this person. And then if you get your V card, you are allowed to stay. If you fall in love, if you couple up, you can stay otherwise kicked off the island, and they'll bring new virgins in. When some people lose their V card.

[E]

You know what I'm saying?

[Brian Green]

So there you go.

[E]

And I'm assuming if you get laid, you're off the island.

[Brian Green]

I don't know. I mean, are they incentivizing the wrong thing?

[Chrissy]

Right?

[E]

I don't.

[Brian Green]

If you get laid, you should be able to stay. Like the person who's having the most sex should be the king of. King of the crop, right?

[Chrissy]

King of the island.

[E]

How many virgins can you deflower? Should be the question.

[Brian Green]

That should be the ultimate goal here.

[E]

And I'm in it.

[Brian Green]

I'm in it to win it. I'll see. Listen, Aliens Earth only comes out once a week and King of the Hill so far. Good. Not great. Only three episodes in. There's like 12 of them. I'll keep you posted. But Aliens Earth, very good. But episode number three was a bit like we kind of just went in circles a little bit and got to nothing. A lot of slow motion shots of the creatures. There's not only one alien, there's five different aliens. Five separate species of aliens that have been captured on a deep space research vessel and crashed into Earth. They left Earth 65 years ago. They crashed back into Earth because they have these aliens that got loose and. Fascinating. But episode three was not my favorite. Two, one and two started off really strong and then three, I felt like we took a step backwards a little bit and I misunderstood. Maybe I'm misunderstanding some of the plot. But anyway, I'm keeping up with it and I'll. I'll let you know. I'm in it now. I got. I'm in it.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, once you started, it's hard to stop.

[Brian Green]

And I just wanted to share with you that I do believe there is going to be a far another season of Fargo that will be the last season is what I've heard. So, yes, anyway, that's what I heard on a podcast with someone who had starred in a previous Fargo season.

[Chrissy]

I would love that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, listen, I'm all in it. That Noah Wy can keep out. Noah, not Wiley. Wally. Noah Howley. Howley. Howie.

[E]

How are you talking about the guy.

[Brian Green]

Who'S like the executive producer, the showrunner for all of these shows?

[Chrissy]

Noah Wylie was in the Pit.

[Brian Green]

Noah Wiley's in the Pit, which was my next point of. They're filming the next season of the Pit.

[Chrissy]

It's a great show.

[Brian Green]

And so I saw a clip from like the Director's Guild of America and they were. It was like a three minute clip where they were talking to three of the directors of Pit Season 1 about what it's like to direct an episode of the Pit. And they were explaining that it is so highly Detailed. And there is so involved. Yeah, I can imagine that they needed to look so realistic. They wanted to look so realistic that everyone has a storyline, even the background characters. They have their own storylines, their own purposes. They're go. When they're moving behind the camera, they're moving with purpose. Like they're going to get blood. They're going to clean this up, they're going to check in more people and that all hundred people that are on the set at any given time to make sure that the background is covered when they're turning the cameras. Quick. All of those people have to work at the same time, take bathroom breaks at the same time, eat at the same time. Where like some filming some sets, you might have three actors in the scene with two background actors and then the rest of the cast is off doing whatever and then they come back when their call time is. It's like in this show is unique in the sense that so many people are on set at any given time, all with storylines, all with characters, all with points of view. And I just am fascinated by this show. I think it's so well done.

[Chrissy]

I agree. I agree. I'm glad you turned me onto it.

[Brian Green]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Chrissy]

And then I finished it before you.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. How did that happen? I don't know.

[E]

Yeah, you did finish it before I did.

[Brian Green]

And I think you ruined one of the episodes for me.

[E]

Thanks.

[Brian Green]

But I don't care because it was so beautifully acted. I hope they don't lose any of this mad. I hope they don't have that sophomore slump like some shows do. You know, where it's like, season one's so good, your expectations are so high and then you get into season number two and you're like, was it as good as I remember it? Is it really as good as I remember?

[Chrissy]

Sometimes, though, the second season's better. True then. Because then everybody's caught on coagulated together.

[Brian Green]

They're all. They're all together. And so many questions. Is the drug addict doctor, is he going to be allowed back in the building to do his work? Is the nurse like the head nurse, is she gonna come back and. And do another shift?

[E]

Is right.

[Chrissy]

Because she was out of there.

[Brian Green]

She was gone. She had recently. She got punched and she was resigned to leave if. I'm sorry we're spoiling this all for you if you haven't seen it. But catch up quick because season two is going to be out before you know it. You need to watch the Pit unless you, of course, you are very queasy in that case, do not watch the.

[E]

Pit because it is highly detailed.

[Brian Green]

And that's what makes the show fascinating to me, is that there's not a lot of extra baggage or drama in this show. There are.

[Chrissy]

That's what I hope does not happen, that they add in all of these, you know, these two fell in love.

[E]

And these two fell in love and.

[Chrissy]

There'S a love triangle and this, that and the other. It seems good the way it is right now.

[Brian Green]

Correct. And one of them comes down with a mysterious disease that another doctor solves the problem in one episode. And then what is it so original and unique about this? And I know this is like they're being sued by Michael Crichton's estate for being the er, essentially. But I don't ever remember and I only watch maybe two hours of ER total. I don't ever remember ER being this good ever. I know it had details, but it became a big fucking soap opera.

[Chrissy]

It did.

[Brian Green]

You. You didn't really. The medical. What was going on in the rooms took a back seat to what was going on in some third rate, you know, love story. That, yes, is interesting to some people, but just. That's why I don't like medical dramas with House maybe being the exception to that. Yeah, the drug addict doctor who.

[Chrissy]

Nurse Jackie was good.

[Brian Green]

I didn't watch Nurse Jackie, but maybe that's because I had been turned off to medical dramas. But what I like about the Pit is it's ultra realism. And then it's one day you start the shift with the doctor at 8am.

[E]

And then you leave.

[Chrissy]

How they did that?

[Brian Green]

It was just 10 hours later.

[Chrissy]

Each an hour.

[Brian Green]

Yes. You leave with him 10 hours later, or in this case, a little bit later because of something that happens during the episode. But you leave with him. And every hour is tick by tick. It's notch by notch. A patient comes in with a problem, you're there solving that problem. Even if that problem takes three hours, he's going to be there in the next episode while they work through it. So it's like an actual shift at an actual er, with all the realities of working in an er. The, you know, the assholes who come in who don't believe in science, the. All of it, Everything.

[Chrissy]

Yep, yep. Angry people. The tracheotomies. I remember that there were a lot of.

[Brian Green]

A lot of tracheotomies going on. Yes. A lot of people are getting their throats cut open. And I started watching it, like right after I got my throat cut open and it started to bother me a little Bit. Yeah, yeah, but I stuck it through. And then what. What else can we say about Noah Wiley?

[Chrissy]

I mean, fantastic.

[Brian Green]

Where did, where has he been all my life?

[Chrissy]

Yeah. Because what was, what was the other thing? And I. I don't know why I'm drawing a blank on what he was in before he was in er. That's right. Okay. And then what was, what was. The other medical show came out around the same time.

[Brian Green]

Jacobs Crossing. No, not Jacob's Crossing. Jacob's Ladder was a up movie. No, it's.

[Chrissy]

Anyways. Okay, but he was, er.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chrissy]

Okay. Yeah. And then what happened in between? We don't know.

[Brian Green]

We don't know. But he was on many, many seasons of er. He was there for. If I'm not mistaken, he was there for a long time. Let's look that up real quick. I know which.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. I watched ER for like the first few years and then I stopped.

[Brian Green]

Noah Wiley. No, Wiley. A bit older than you and I in his career.

[Chrissy]

He looks right.

[E]

I wish.

[Brian Green]

95 to 2005. He was on er.

[Chrissy]

90 for 10 years.

[Brian Green]

He went on from 90 to 94. 90 to 94. He was on some. He was in the movie A Few Good Men.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

And some other stuff that you may or may not have heard of. And then he got cast and Michael Crichton's executive produced by Steven Spielberg. Er, he also was in Friends or one of the. Somebody wanted him for Friends, but.

[Chrissy]

So he was an ER for 10 years.

[Brian Green]

10 years. 95 to 2005 is what it says here. Wow, that's a long time.

[Chrissy]

And then 20 years later, comes back to another.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

Medical show. He plays a great doctor.

[Brian Green]

He was the final original cast member to leave 2006 to 2008.

[Chrissy]

Grey's Anatomy. That's the other medical thing I was thinking of.

[Brian Green]

Yes, you're right about that. So then. Yeah. And then 20, 24, he pops up on the pit, just a brilliant, all round brilliant performance. And he's an executive director and writer on that show too. And so I just can't rave enough about this show. I. To, to me, there are shows that like hit you right in the giggle box and then there are shows that hit you right in the heartstrings. And then there are shows. And then there are shows that are just interesting and this happens to be all of those things kind of combined. There are funny human moments. There are certainly moments that led me to a tear or two. Yeah, for sure. And yeah, it's fascinating. It is, it's fascinating. So go watch The Pit Season 2, it's coming up. I don't know when, but I hope it's not too long. If we can get it. If we can just get one episode of the Pit in between the incredibly popular release of Stranger Things. Thanksgiving and New Year's, like the three Thanksgiving, Christmas seasons.

[Chrissy]

Do you think it'll come out again this year?

[Brian Green]

I don't know. It doesn't seem like. It seems like a hard show to direct to get all those people to do that.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And film every scene. It seems very hard. And the continuity that is needed. But I think they do a lot of those in one take. What I'm hoping is, because it's a lot of one takes that they can flip it around really quickly.

[Chrissy]

We're not going to demand.

[Brian Green]

Oh, demand.

[E]

Right here, the commercial break. I need my Noah Wiley.

[Brian Green]

I've got a half heart. I need a full raging hard on for Noah Wiley. Trach me.

[E]

Trach me, Noah. Trach me.

[Brian Green]

I am in love with another man and his name is Noah Wiley and he could be my doctor any day of the week. If Noah Wiley walked in. If. You know, I told my story about how I got a vasectomy and the world's four most beautiful nurses decided to come in and prep my cock. And thank God I was on laughing gas and just threw. I just decided that pride was not a part of any.

[E]

Anything that I needed to be concerned about.

[Brian Green]

If Noah Wiley came in, I'd stand at attention, sir. I would have prepped myself. I would have been like, no, no, no, no, no, it's beneath you.

[E]

Let me touch my own micro penis. They needed four nurses because one had to hold the microscope, the other one had a monocle. And a third had to take a TikTok for their micropenises of the world account. And it was the fourth that put iodine on and shaved me.

[Chrissy]

Okay, but Noah would.

[E]

Noah. No, sir. This is beneath you.

[Chrissy]

Does Astrid know about Noah? About your love for Noah?

[Brian Green]

Astrid could not stomach a medical drama like this. No way, no how. There are dying children. There are. There's a lot of stuff that Astrid would just be too anxiety riddled with. She just doesn't like those type of television shows where it gets her anxious. But I. I'm not going to introduce her to Noah. It's not going to happen.

[E]

She's got a. She's got enough.

[Chrissy]

So far I've got Dua, Lipa and Noah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[E]

On your list, Dua, Lipa and Noah. If they could be my doctor and.

[Brian Green]

My nurse for my next Vasectomy. I would have that.

[E]

Dua Lipa has taken some time off.

[Brian Green]

After her concert, and I follow her on Instagram and I'm always like, damn. A day in the life of Dua Lipa. Not only is she obviously a very physically attractive woman, not as pretty as my wife, but, you know, I don't think Astrid would argue with me. She's a physically attractive woman, but she's just living the life.

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah, she totally is.

[Brian Green]

She's out there. And Ibiza.

[E]

Good for her. Parts of Do It Up Girl.

[Brian Green]

Parts of Spain that I could only afford for two months in 2023.

[Chrissy]

For a lunch.

[Brian Green]

For a lunch.

[E]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

She is just living the life.

[E]

Good for her.

[Brian Green]

You know, she's got all these people around her that seem to love her. She really does seem to be having just a great time with it. And people love her, you know, she's got great. I. I was telling Gustavo, Gustavo and I were talking about this in Naples and we were out one night. He says, you really like Dua Lipa, huh? And I said, man, her, I. I thought she was attractive the first time I saw her, but when I saw her, she was doing like a tiny desk concert or something. One of those ripped down. I don't know if it was tiny desk, but it was like a stripped down acoustic. And she was singing one of her song, you know, And I thought, wow, not only is this girl attractive, but this is a jam. And then I saw her play. I can't think of the theater in. In London. Royal Albert Hall. Okay, she played Royal Albert hall and they filmed it for Netflix or for Amazon. One of the two. And then I watched that a couple of months later. And she's amazingly talented and her music is a vibe. It's a whole thing. I like it. I'm all about it. Dua Lipa. Noah Wiley. Threesome Brian. Dua Lipa. No, Wiley.

[Chrissy]

There you go.

[Brian Green]

On our private yacht in the Mediterranean, just sucking and fucking all the time.

[Chrissy]

On the below deck.

[E]

Below deck cruise. Get below this deck.

[Chrissy]

Noah.

[Brian Green]

Service my yacht engine. All due respect to my wife, of course, she actually astro to be like, whatever. Yeah, good luck with that, Brian.

[Chrissy]

Good luck with that.

[E]

I've been there, done that.

[Brian Green]

Good luck.

[E]

Been there, done that. Don't need the T shirt.

[Brian Green]

Thanks.

[E]

Anyway, tell Noah good luck. He farts in his sleep. Get out of there. After sex. See you later. Dua Lipa would be like, did you shower today? Sanitizer. I could see Dua Lipa's assistant running over like, Sanitizer?

[Brian Green]

No, no, no, no. No, thanks. No sanitizer.

[Chrissy]

You need it.

[E]

The whole thing all over.

[Brian Green]

All right, let's take a break.

[E]

Oh, listen, you guys reacted so positively.

[Brian Green]

To Cold Call Paul.

[E]

He got so excited that we did it, that I've got part three and four lined up.

[Brian Green]

Why not? Let's just have a fuzz. Just have fun this week. It's a. It's an aw. It's a week. We're getting back into work after we.

[E]

Had to take the week off.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[E]

Last week from coming back from our vacation. So we're still recovering from our easing.

[Brian Green]

Back in from our third summer vacation. We'll be back with Cold Call Paul.

[Rachel]

Hey there, cats and kittens. It's Rachel.

[Brian Green]

I have a channel. A terrible cold.

[Rachel]

But Brian wanted me to pass along the message that tcb's exclusive merch drop happens Friday, August 8th through the 22nd. You can pre order your limited edition commercial break, hat, hoodie, university sweater or T shirts and get an exclusive TCB sticker free with every purchase. Go to shoptcbpodcast.com Friday, August 8th through the 22nd to pre order your merch because when the window closes, it closes for good. So mark it on your calendars Friday, August 8th through the 22nd. Shop tcb podcast.com Now I'm going to go take some DayQuil and feed Axel more pork chops. Best to you.

[Brian Green]

All right, so yesterday, as you're listening to this, we were having some fun with Cold Call Paul, who we had found back in, I think, season three.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

If I'm not mistaken, I remember we were sitting at the table earlier and we went through like a little run. The power table power bottom.

[E]

We went through a little run, maybe.

[Brian Green]

Three, four different videos of Paul doing live cold calls that he was recording, putting on YouTube. And man, was it funny because he would just. He was pretty bad at it, first of all, but he was pretty persistent, second of all. And then people would be like, well, listen, I'll. I'll let you go and I'll give you a call back if I need anything. And Paul would be like, what do you say if I don't hear from you by Wednesday, I'll call you next month. And they'd be like, yeah, sure, whatever. And he'd be like, see, that's a close.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, they wanted. As a close.

[Brian Green]

They wanted to hear back from me. That's a close. So Paul was kind of patting his stats a little bit, in my opinion. So we got back to it yesterday. Go listen to that. Episode if you want. We came upon a series of videos he did. This is about three years ago that, by the way, series of videos he did where he is highlighting that he has now gotten on board with the social media sales strategy or what he's calling the martial arts of social media sales.

[Chrissy]

Roundhouse kick.

[Brian Green]

Roundhouse kick to the social medias, Roundhouse kick to Facebook.

[Chrissy]

But he'll leave it before those customers.

[E]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

If he finds his customers are on a platform, he'll leave it before they do. So we don't understand exactly what Paul is saying. We think that this is just a lot of buzzwords strung together to make.

[E]

It sound like he's giving you kind of information.

[Brian Green]

The problem with Paul, like a lot of other people that are self help type people or gurus or sales consultants that are on the Internet and Frankie B. Falls victim to this, as does the.

[Chrissy]

Paulie Kaushkush and the puas.

[Brian Green]

The pas. That's right. They all talk in circles, but they never give you any details. They never give you an example. They never show you. They're not instructive. They're just. It's just verbal diarrhea. It's not like the episode of the commercial break. Only we promise it. We don't make any promises. You're gonna learn anything.

[Chrissy]

No.

[Brian Green]

If you probably figured that out a long time ago. So let's get into. We did one and two yesterday and so let's do three and we'll see if we can get to four. We're just gonna have some fun this week and. And play with our good buddy Cold Call Paul. Cause I'm. This is another one of those.

[Chrissy]

He's a lovable guy.

[E]

Really is, I have to say.

[Brian Green]

He really is. So if you're listening, and it's likely you'll. You'll know that you're on these videos. If you're listening. This isn't because we don't love you. We do love you, actually. We make fun because we love. We know that you're hustling. And as I said yesterday at the end of our little, you know, review of the videos, a little breakdown of the videos. I have mad respect for anybody who's trying to make content hustle. Whatever your gig is, whatever your game is, as long as you're not hurting other people, I have mad respect for you. I don't see you hurting anybody else. You're not selling anything particularly and selling.

[Chrissy]

His own services, maybe.

[Brian Green]

But when I say you're not selling anything, I mean you're Literally not selling anything. But at the end of the day, I don't see that you're harming anybody. You're like a Frankie B. You're like the sales Frankie.

[Chrissy]

And it strikes a chord with us because we met while we were working in a sales environment and had quite a few of these type people come in.

[Brian Green]

That's right. I could easily see Cold Call Paul walking into a clear channel in 2008 and giving us this same information where we would leave with the same lack of knowledge.

[E]

All right, so number three, here we go.

[Brian Green]

Let's see what Paul has to say. Excited for this?

[E]

Check it out, guys.

[Chrissy]

Oh, he's in jeans now.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so we went from yesterday. He was wearing like. Yeah, tactical pants or something. Dacres khakis, black, changed.

[Chrissy]

He had a hat on in the first one.

[Brian Green]

Hat and long hair. Then he showed up with no hat and short hair and black, like military pants essentially with a lot of pockets in it. And now he's got a black.

[Chrissy]

Now he's got my dad's outfit on.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that is a. That is a suburban dad outfit.

[Chrissy]

Something jeans and like a button down long sleeve shirt.

[Brian Green]

Something your dad would show up to, like dinner on a patio in the middle of August in Atlanta, Georgia. Georgia with. You know what I'm saying?

[E]

Like, dad, why didn't you wear a.

[Brian Green]

Short and that belt. I gotta tell you, Paul, it's time for a new belt. Yeah. Because when it wraps around you twice, he has lost weight. Yeah. All right, let's listen.

[Cold Call Paul]

Series on my exciting social media investment strategy. How to get qualified leads through my system. And my strategy and convert those leads into sales is very, very exciting.

[E]

Is that the title? How to get qualified leads on social media strategy. My strategy. Very, very exciting platforms.

[Brian Green]

All social media platforms, leads.

[Cold Call Paul]

Part three is how to get qualified leads on all of your platforms.

[E]

I love his eyes. Dark back and forth.

[Chrissy]

I know it is. He's maybe reading something.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's maybe reading something and there's someone there.

[Chrissy]

Right.

[Brian Green]

But he looks like the Cheshire. Like he looks like he just ate a.

[E]

You know what I'm saying? He's trying to get away with something. He's like, what bullshit can I put here?

[Cold Call Paul]

More importantly, how to convert those qualified leads into.

[Chrissy]

Okay, now here's where we're going to get to the meat and potatoes, right?

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[E]

Right, right, right, right. We're going for it on this one.

[Brian Green]

We've. We've put up with one and two. Can we get to three? Yeah.

[E]

But by the way, he said how.

[Brian Green]

To Convert social media leads into sales. And then he says, and this is.

[E]

Where I teach you how to convert social media leads into sales.

[Cold Call Paul]

Tune. Very exciting. Now for the introduction.

[Brian Green]

Okay, you don't have to announce.

[Chrissy]

It just happens. Very exciting.

[Brian Green]

Why does he walk away like, see you later? I'm gonna not do the introduction because it's very loud and it gives me a headache.

[Cold Call Paul]

Okay, check it out, guys. Welcome to the martial arts of sale. This is part three of a five part series on how to use my.

[Brian Green]

By the way, on the title of this video on YouTube, in case you want to go watch it yourself on YouTube, it says part 15. Whoops.

[Cold Call Paul]

Social media.

[Brian Green]

Maybe he meant to put 1/5. And it came up as one investment.

[Cold Call Paul]

Strategy to help you accomplish three things. One, getting qualified leads. Number two, converting those leads into sales. And number three, more Polygon increasing your monthly cash flow.

[Brian Green]

I love increasing. I'm a big fan of increasing.

[Cold Call Paul]

Isn't that what it's all about?

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[E]

Yes.

[Cold Call Paul]

Before we get into the topic, I.

[Brian Green]

Could see us in the back of the room. Yes.

[E]

Get to it, please. Get into it, please. Braves game at 4.

[Brian Green]

Free bar tab.

[Cold Call Paul]

You're watching this on YouTube. Please hit the subscribe button below. If you like this video, smash the like button. Do share.

[Brian Green]

These boomers gotta stay. Stop saying smash that like bar. It's not a bar, it's a thumbs up.

[Chrissy]

Smashing.

[Cold Call Paul]

And I do appreciate constructive feedback now.

[E]

Okay, well, then you'll appreciate the last three episodes of the commercial as it's.

[Chrissy]

As he's standing further back too. I have to say that those pants do not fit him. Those look like pantaloons. Like ballooned out pantaloons.

[Brian Green]

What's that? That's my favorite kind of pants.

[Cold Call Paul]

Like, three how to get qualified leads on your social media platforms.

[Brian Green]

I love, love, love. There's nothing that I love. If you listen to the show, then you'll know it. And I think Chrissy will agree with me wholeheartedly on this one. There is nothing more exciting. There is nothing that gets my pickle and a tickle more than someone showing up to a meeting with a whiteboard or a PowerPoint that has the words you're about to say written on it.

[Cold Call Paul]

Here's one of the things that I've.

[Brian Green]

Classic move, classic move. That's a power move right there.

[Chrissy]

That's from a power director.

[E]

When you walk in the door with a PowerPoint with every word you're about.

[Brian Green]

To say written out on it, I.

[E]

Say, this guy, he's got the balls of a beluga. He's going to sell me on a billion dollar service.

[Cold Call Paul]

The bloodline of every business, whether you're a startup company or an existing business of 20 years. The bottom line is this. Qualified leads that turn into customers. Right. That's what it is.

[Brian Green]

I'm pretty sure it's revenue, but.

[E]

Okay, all right.

[Cold Call Paul]

If you're able to consistently do both of those things, guess what happens. Your monthly cash flow increases, your annual revenue increases. The profits is depending on your expenses. And bottom line, whatever your investment is, you're looking to get a high return on your investment. It's very simple business. I call it the seven pillars of.

[Brian Green]

But wait, why a return on your invest. I don't understand. A return on your investment. I'm not getting it.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I don't know, maybe your time investment.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, hey, that's a time investment. I can understand that one.

[Cold Call Paul]

But those who are on social media, the most important thing you need to.

[E]

Know, there are just a few of those.

[Chrissy]

It's a niche market.

[E]

A niche market. But if you're going to go there.

[Brian Green]

Let me tell you how is this.

[Cold Call Paul]

That there's a lot of opportunities right now to increase your revenue.

[Chrissy]

Okay, okay.

[Brian Green]

Following you.

[Cold Call Paul]

The problem I see and I. Oh.

[Brian Green]

He'S identified a problem run into is.

[Cold Call Paul]

That people don't like to do the.

[Brian Green]

Grunt work, the drunt work.

[E]

I hate doing the drunk work. I'm just a lonely drunt over here in my drunty job, what I call the important work.

[Cold Call Paul]

Why? Because we're so used to everything fast. We want everything automated. We're not very patient people anymore. We want instant gratification. For me, I avoid that.

[E]

Me too.

[Brian Green]

That's why I hereby call for no.

[E]

Wiley and Dua Lieba to be on my yard tomorrow.

[Cold Call Paul]

But what I try to do is use the technology that's available to me and complement with what I'm used to doing. And that is cold calling. That is taking call to action. That is communicating with people verbally and physically.

[E]

Hey, polly. Hey, Paul.

[Brian Green]

20, 25 down, buddy. I know you want to take off that parachute you've got as a pair of jeans.

[E]

Get down to action. Well, let's slow your roll, buddy. Slow your roll.

[Cold Call Paul]

So here's what's happening. How do you get qualified leads on your social media platform?

[Brian Green]

Exactly. Tell us. Okay, here we go. I have a feeling he's going to come through with one point to me.

[Cold Call Paul]

Is the easiest place to get qualified leads.

[Brian Green]

Great, let's hear it.

[Cold Call Paul]

Why do I say that?

[E]

Here we go, here we go.

[Cold Call Paul]

I Say that because if people are following you and they're liking your content and they're commenting on your content and.

[Brian Green]

They'Re sharing it, what if people are mostly hating on my right.

[E]

How do you convert those people if.

[Chrissy]

You have nobody following?

[E]

What if this idiot talks too much?

[Brian Green]

Or why.

[E]

Why is he sitting like that?

[Brian Green]

What are.

[E]

Those are the type of comments you get.

[Cold Call Paul]

What better lead can you ask for than that? But you have to see that. Because everybody's goal on social media, most everybody, because social media is a long term play, is to be popular.

[Brian Green]

Social media is not a long term play, my friend. It's a transactional minute and a half at best. There's no long term play about social media. People following you for a long time is good. That's great. You want that. But I don't understand what you mean by long term play unless you're talking about like constantly feeding content until someone gets engaged in your services.

[Chrissy]

I guess.

[Brian Green]

So like nurturing a lead.

[Chrissy]

Follow you.

[Cold Call Paul]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

And comment, share.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. We've been doing it for five years. Worked out great for us.

[Cold Call Paul]

Worked out great to be recognized. Obviously branding is important to be influential, but that's a long term play. In the meantime, what I do is I go after business. I'm not going to wait for it to come to me.

[Brian Green]

But I thought you said go get it. I thought you said it's about people following you and commenting on your content.

[Cold Call Paul]

I have to build that no matter what my password, no matter how successful I was in the past. This is a different era, a different time. Which actually is a better time to accelerate your business. But there's some fundamental principles you need to know.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Cold Call Paul]

You have to go after the business. If you believe you have something of value.

[Brian Green]

I do.

[Cold Call Paul]

And it's in a competitive industry, then it's your duty to stick out like a sore thumb.

[Brian Green]

In other words, I hate stinking out like a sore thumb.

[Cold Call Paul]

But let's go stand out different than your competitors. And you have to go out there and get it. Especially if you're a young entrepreneur, a new starter small business or young salesperson. What I mean by I mean young. In the sales industry, you gotta go get it. After 30 years, I still go get it and I still get objections. I still get people doubting what I do.

[Chrissy]

Where are you going to get it and what are you getting?

[E]

How? Step one, post a piece of content relevant to your business. Step two, boost that piece of content. Step three, email everybody who engaged in your content. Step four, what are you gabbing on.

[Cold Call Paul]

Here, Paul, that it doesn't work.

[Brian Green]

But it does.

[Cold Call Paul]

I'm here to show you that.

[E]

Please show me.

[Cold Call Paul]

Well, let's get into it.

[E]

All right, here we go.

[Cold Call Paul]

Oh, is target who your customers will be?

[E]

Well, you've now said that on all three videos. Let's go.

[Cold Call Paul]

Here's what I've learned through cold calling. You know, I still have automatic dollar systems and things like that. While cold calling allows you to do, especially on social media, is you get to learn to target.

[E]

I love cold calling on social media. Instagram. Dial up, dad.

[Cold Call Paul]

Who you want your customers to be and who you want your followers to be. Al just not how many followers you have is the quality of the followers you have that could potentially become clients and long term relationships. That is your job. That is my job.

[Brian Green]

Go.

[Cold Call Paul]

Tell me, is it a little bit more work than having automated. Yes.

[Chrissy]

Did he say automated dialer before? Yeah, it's just automatically dialing. Just random businesses and calling.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Or you put it into. I've never had an automatic dialer though. I'm thinking about getting one for the commercial break. Hi, this is Brian Green from the commercial break. I got your phone number from a friend. I'll do the old hello and then I'll go. Hello. Hi, this is Brian Green from the commercial break. Recently we've run into financial issues.

[E]

But you can help. Are you there?

[Brian Green]

Yes. Who am I talking. This is Brian Greene from the commercial break. Available now on Apple.

[E]

Endorsed by none other than Dr. Phil.

[Chrissy]

The reputable.

[E]

The reputable. The honorable Dr. Phil. The honorable Dr. Phil. Did you see where Pete Hegsen and Robert JFK Jr. Were at the gym doing a push up contest? I thought to myself, the only thing that rounds this out is Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil and you've got an episode it. You got an episode of the Dr. Phil Show.

[Brian Green]

I can't wait for the UFC fight.

[Chrissy]

Oh, God.

[Cold Call Paul]

Should be automated. Organic is one of the best ways to build your portfolio, increasing your cash flow. So when you're able to.

[Brian Green]

I don't want to increase my cat flow.

[E]

It's the best way to increase your cat flow.

[Cold Call Paul]

In a position to be automated, you have a combination of both. Does that make sense?

[Brian Green]

No. No.

[Cold Call Paul]

So you have to target who you want your customers to be.

[Chrissy]

Okay, okay.

[Brian Green]

Who I want my customers to be and who they. Who I want my listeners to be Dua Nepa and Dua Lipa and no, Wiley.

[Cold Call Paul]

Who?

[Brian Green]

My listeners are South Georgia, Sean and Astrid.

[Chrissy]

I mean, I'm trying to kind of follow what he's saying. I'm trying to say. Okay, say, bring me up to speed. Say I just started a lawn care company or something like that. You know, let's go lawn.

[Cold Call Paul]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

Okay. I'm going to target people with lawns.

[E]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

People in the neighborhood who have lawns.

[Chrissy]

And then how do I automate that?

[E]

I don't know.

[Chrissy]

And reach them on the social.

[E]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

Last time I checked, Google doesn't have a section people with lawns. But I. I'm sure that there are services that offer that kind of information.

[Chrissy]

Well, you could if you were doing the advertising part of Facebook and Instagram. But he's saying don't.

[Brian Green]

He's saying don't do that. You want them to be organic. So what do you do? You look for pictures of people.

[Chrissy]

I think you actually do need to go cold. Call the homes.

[E]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

You need to show up at the.

[Chrissy]

Front door, say, hey, will you follow me? So that I can call on you later?

[E]

I want to stalk you on my Instagram growth strategy for converting sales to leads to sales.

[Brian Green]

So if you don't mind, can you.

[E]

Open up your phone real quick and.

[Chrissy]

Follow me and then comment.

[Brian Green]

And then comment. And then I'm gonna follow back and then I'm gonna jump off the platform.

[E]

Do you have.

[Brian Green]

Do you have a phone number that I could call in the future?

[E]

Not yet.

[Brian Green]

We need to build a relationship on social media.

[E]

I gotta get you to trust me. Oh, poor Paul.

[Cold Call Paul]

Why do I say, who do you want your followers to be? Because there's a strategy out there called bots.

[E]

People buy bots. There's a strategy out there called bots.

[Chrissy]

It's just called bots.

[E]

That's why I want my followers. Which strategy is that, Paul? That's funny.

[Cold Call Paul]

You pay for a certain amount of dollars. Forget a certain amount of people to follow. You'll like you for me. I don't like that because it's not genuine.

[Chrissy]

You can't call on those bots.

[Brian Green]

No.

[E]

You can try. Well, bots calling me all the time.

[Brian Green]

I generally have a service that sends them. Yeah. That blocks them.

[Cold Call Paul]

Me talking to myself. And there's no business in that. All it does is inflates your followers.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Cold Call Paul]

To get other real followers. And you don't think they know that. So I keep it simple.

[E]

I have no followers. That way you know that I'm real. My first follower is going to know just how real I am because I have no followers. I love this. This is so good. All right, well, listen, let's take a. There's this Strategy called bots.

[Rachel]

I'd like to introduce you to my.

[E]

Revolutionary sales strategy, bots. You give them the credit card, they buy up a bunch of your products. You pay back the credit card. Revenue neutral. But sales are through the roof. It's the commercial breakway of doing business. Oh, my God. That is too good. That's too good. 0 out your revenue with my new butt strategy. Looking for deductions on your taxes. Have bots buy on your behalf. There's a new strategy. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That should be a whole episode in and of itself. There's a new strategy out there. I demand that Paul does a video on the strategy of bots. Sales strategy called bots.

[Brian Green]

Thoughts?

[E]

Oh, all right. Oh, I can see why everyone was in love with part one, because it is pretty.

[Brian Green]

This is pretty fun. You got it. I love you, Paul. I love you. You want to come on the show? I'd be happy to hear you out.

[E]

I'd be happy to hear you.

[Chrissy]

Strategy.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[E]

I'd be happy to give you a.

[Brian Green]

Chance to define your sales strategy more in depth. All right, let's take a break. We'll be back.

[H]

Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-433-33, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercialbreak and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

[Brian Green]

All right, back with Cold call Paul. I had to take a minute to let my cheeks relax for a second. I was laughing so hard. Okay, here he is. He's coming back.

[Cold Call Paul]

More is not always better. Less is more qualities more.

[Brian Green]

That's what I've always said.

[E]

Less sales is better.

[Cold Call Paul]

Well, in just my view. Does that make sense?

[Brian Green]

No.

[Cold Call Paul]

Do yourself a favor. Really think about who you want your customers to be. Who is fit for your services or your products. That takes thinking. So that's number one.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Number two.

[Cold Call Paul]

I call it discovery research and analyze.

[E]

Discovery and research is probably same thing, but.

[Brian Green]

All right, I'll follow you when you.

[Cold Call Paul]

Want to target your audience and you want to identify or you have identified who your audience or your customers will be. Now, this is where the work begins. You have to discover what they have on social media. How is their presence? I know I do that.

[E]

That is creepy.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Yeah, that's just creepy. Yeah. I mean there will be an occasion, like if someone follows the commercial break.

[E]

Right.

[Brian Green]

On occasion. Not very often, but on occasion, if they have an interesting profile photo, I might go to their profile. Like I saw there was. Someone followed us. They had cool art one time right on their profile photo. So I went, I saw they had a bunch of other cool art. So I liked a couple of the photos. I even commented, hey, you do a commission to piece. Like, you know, that's cool art. But you don't just follow people and then like stalk them.

[Chrissy]

Again, I don't. It seems almost like he's talking about business to business.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Okay, if that's the, if that's what he's talking about.

[Chrissy]

It doesn't seem like consumer. How can you target the consumer without doing, you know, targeted advertising?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And even then, I mean. Yeah, I've looked at Instagram. I mean Facebook does have a pretty. Facebook, which owns Instagram Meta, they have a pretty in depth targeting system for Instagram and for Facebook you can really dive down into what they like or what they're.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

What they may like. Like more likely to own a Mercedes Benz or whatever the deal is. So. But then again, just go ahead and spend the money and target them with a message that looks good to them.

[E]

Why are you going to go through every Instagram profile?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Stalk them. Yeah. Doesn't make much sense.

[Cold Call Paul]

What do they have? What do they have? What they lack, what do they need?

[Brian Green]

How do you know that from Instagram? People don't put, I mean older people.

[E]

Might, the next door might spotted Mexican.

[Cold Call Paul]

And get in tune with who they are as far as their business, how long they've been in business, you know.

[E]

Okay, all right, if it's business to.

[Brian Green]

Business, then you can understand why he's doing this.

[Cold Call Paul]

That's part of discovery, that's part of research. Then once you get that data, you start to analyze. You know, if these people can't just.

[Chrissy]

Go to their website.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, just go to their website and read the summary page. That's what I used to do.

[Chrissy]

And call or email them.

[E]

Yeah, that's right. You know what I used to do?

[Brian Green]

We put proposals together and you know, my boss would say, you're gonna write a cover page, you know, with a summary of what they do in their business. I'd go to their homepage, I'd take their summary paragraph, I'd rewrite it it and then I'd put it on the proposal, that's what you do. Don't worry about all this.

[E]

Just take them to the strip club.

[Chrissy]

The Braves game.

[E]

The Braves game.

[Cold Call Paul]

Book on Twitter, LinkedIn, whatever the case may be, everyone has a different strategy. So you analyze that and then you determine, okay, I want these people here to be my customer. These are potential customers. Now you, now you have a game plan that's called a plan of attack, which I mentioned in part two. Does that make sense?

[E]

Well, I can't respond to you, but.

[Brian Green]

Okay, yeah, this is pretty salesy 101 stuff. And I do get the sense that Cold Call Paul is really targeting very newbie salespeople, people who don't have much information on the actual like science of selling. And you do have to do some research, but I wouldn't suggest stocking them like that. That's, that's just a waste of time. You need to understand if they're interested in your services first and then if they are, then it's worthy. Unless you're doing like huge business to business sales. Like you're going to go in like, I used to sell Kellogg's. One time I sold, not Kellogg's Post consulting services.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And for five days, me and the team who was going up to pitch this, you know, multi million dollar consulting package, for five days, we researched the division. We were pitching the people who worked for the division what they had bought in the past, what, you know, what software they had now, what that software did and didn't do so that we understood where the weaknesses are, the places we could fill in the gaps. But you know, if you're selling lawn care services, you know, do you have a lawn? Do you do it yourself? Would you like some extra time on the weekends?

[Cold Call Paul]

Yeah, it's pretty easy because you want to be prepared. One thing I've learned, when I started calling people on social media, the reaction I got was like shocking surprise. People calling them. I understood why after a while.

[E]

How do you call on social media?

[Chrissy]

People were shocked.

[E]

I understand why are you stalking me? When it said Facebook calling, LinkedIn calling.

[Brian Green]

I'm shocked why that was.

[Cold Call Paul]

Either some of them were using bots as a, getting people to respond to them, or automated responses so they didn't even know who they were following. They were just paying somebody to do that. So I learned that I became more effective, more efficient. Now I have more communication, more dialogues of people on Instagram.

[Brian Green]

I see he's like Rocky in Rocky 4. He's up in Russia. He's, he's learning, he's Putting his strategy down before he makes any accounts.

[E]

Rising up upon the streets. Took my time, took my chances. Put a huge belt around my kneecaps and now I've got big old pants. I'm the cold call. Paulie.

[Cold Call Paul]

Facebook and Twitter and LinkedIn. Does that make sense? So remember this number two is discovery research and analyze.

[Brian Green]

Got it. Committed to memory. Committed to memory.

[Cold Call Paul]

This is where people become hesitant. You start the initial call to action.

[Chrissy]

Yes. What is your message?

[Cold Call Paul]

Typically is when you have a website or you have a posting, you want to make sure that you have enough hook in your content to get people to take call to action. Right?

[Brian Green]

Right. The one thing is a call to action, right? Okay.

[Cold Call Paul]

Because I'm not influential, I'm not huge on the Internet. I do have a decent presence and I'm not gonna wait for the people that like my content or following me or commenting to do a call to action.

[E]

Okay. I'm going to kidnap them and by gunpoint. I'm going to force them to click.

[Brian Green]

On schedule an appointment now.

[Cold Call Paul]

Going to do their job.

[Brian Green]

Oh, okay.

[Cold Call Paul]

I'm going to go call them. They like my content and I share my content and they're commenting on my content. What more can I ask for them.

[Brian Green]

To reach out to you and say.

[Chrissy]

I need your service because there's no other reason they'd be following you.

[Brian Green]

That's it. Yeah. I mean there's a lot of people that follow the commercial. I say a lot. There's a few people that follow the commercial break. I don't think all of them listen to the show. And I'm not going to call them and ask them to. Yeah, that's kind of silly.

[Cold Call Paul]

That's a they're taking a call action to me. My job is to follow up.

[E]

You did it first. You started it.

[Chrissy]

You followed me.

[E]

Don't click now.

[Chrissy]

Don't you need my surgeon services?

[E]

I can see if you like one of his posts. You're just in a never ending web.

[Brian Green]

Of cold calls from Paul.

[Cold Call Paul]

Does that make sense?

[Brian Green]

No.

[Cold Call Paul]

But if you don't have the right target customers that you want them to be and you haven't done your discovery research and analyzed the online presence, are you, what are you going to call them about? What kind of action are you going to talk to them about? Because remember this when you do.

[E]

I was researching, discovering and analyzing your middle child and I noticed he lost a tooth and I wanted to call and say, congratulations, I can cut your lawn for $49.99 a month. I can play the tooth fairy.

[Brian Green]

For $10.99 and you take the action.

[Cold Call Paul]

Then in reverse, are going to try to sell you their services, right?

[Brian Green]

No.

[E]

What?

[Cold Call Paul]

What?

[E]

No. Never once has that ever happened. Never once.

[Brian Green]

Except at a dealership. But to be fair, I said I was in the market for a car.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Cold Call Paul]

You got to be prepared for all that. That and every single platform. That.

[Chrissy]

That's where the martial arts. You got to deflect.

[E]

Yes, sensei.

[Cold Call Paul]

You have tremendous amount of qualified leads that are ready to buy from you.

[E]

Sweep the leg, sweep the sale. Don't let them sell you. Don't let them sell you.

[Cold Call Paul]

And what most people do is they don't go after it unless there's an ask.

[Brian Green]

What?

[Cold Call Paul]

So what I'm trying to teach and show and help you understand that Facebook ads, Instagram ad, and boosting and promoting. There's nothing wrong with that. It works. I get it. What I'm trying to do is complement that. So using your money wisely. So let's say you do a boosting Facebook and you get. Let's say you get. You reach 4,000 people.

[Brian Green]

People.

[Cold Call Paul]

Let's say you get 200 likes and maybe it's, you know, 20 shares.

[Brian Green]

200 likes? Geez, that's a really high percentage.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, well. And you're gonna have to go through each one of those likes and determine if.

[Brian Green]

If they're interested in your services. What if the strategy is bots? What do we do?

[Cold Call Paul]

That's exciting, right? People like Macan. Where. Where's the business from there? See, the purpose of that, that is.

[Brian Green]

To get recognition, recognition. I don't want much recognition. Recognition, I'll take popular is to be.

[Cold Call Paul]

Known, is for people to see you. That's good, but why not generate business at the same time?

[Brian Green]

At the same time, I should make fun. I mean, you know, some people talk different than other people, but it's a lot of misunderstanding. Just speaking of words, just something to think about.

[Cold Call Paul]

For me. I've never done a Facebook ad, Instagram ad, a Twitter ad.

[Brian Green]

Then how would you know?

[Chrissy]

How are you teaching a social media.

[Brian Green]

Strategy without ever having done an ad on social media? They do work. That's. There's a reason why people spend billions of dollars on them every year.

[Cold Call Paul]

I've never done any boosting of promoting. I go out and I get it.

[Chrissy]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

How?

[Cold Call Paul]

I don't want to fall into that trap.

[E]

What trap? The trap of having more revenue in your pocket.

[Brian Green]

I don't want to fall into the trap.

[Cold Call Paul]

Does that mean I won't do it?

[E]

No.

[Cold Call Paul]

I'm going to eventually do it.

[E]

I'll eventually fall into the trap. I just don't want to fall into the trap.

[Chrissy]

I still don't get what his call to action is.

[Brian Green]

There is no call to action.

[E]

He's saying that if someone that on.

[Chrissy]

His, his, on his website, on his post is call me.

[Brian Green]

If someone follows him and they like his post, he assumes that's an open invitation to go ahead and call them. But he's. He also is aware they're going to try and sell him their services.

[E]

So he's got to be prepared. Again, it seems like a revenue neutral.

[Brian Green]

Proposition that someone's going to try you sell you their services while you sell you your services.

[E]

I don't get it.

[Brian Green]

I. I wish there was just one bullet point that we could take away from here and say at least we got that out of it.

[Cold Call Paul]

Well, guess what? Bottom line is, I want to convert leads into sales.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Cold Call Paul]

Bottom line, I want to build my relationships.

[Brian Green]

Me too.

[Cold Call Paul]

And by building the relationships and getting the right customer, they will help you establish a stronger following and a stronger audience.

[Brian Green]

Huh?

[Cold Call Paul]

Does that make sense? That's the best word of mouth you could ever get.

[Chrissy]

Which.

[Cold Call Paul]

Follow me so far. So, something to think about. I hope this has been helpful to you and I really. Not one bit that you take action on this. Before we leave again, I want to thank every one of you. Being part of the martial arts of sales.

[E]

I did not understand Stan a fucking word. Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

Damn it.

[Chrissy]

He's got heart.

[Brian Green]

He's got something. There's something there. There's some kind of je ne sais quoi.

[E]

I can see how if you're, you.

[Chrissy]

Know, he's really trying to figure out the social media after he was, you know, in the phone book land before.

[E]

Away in the smiling and dialogue.

[Brian Green]

Smiling had a headset on smiling. Automatic dialers.

[Cold Call Paul]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Drinking lots of coffee. Coffee's for closers kind of situation. When Raphael and I started a search engine optimization company, we were desperately looking for, you know, customers. Yeah, I could see this guy coming in and we would probably hire him.

[E]

He would work for free and just cold call.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[E]

You know what I'm saying?

[Brian Green]

Kind of kill what you eat type of thing. But it is funny.

[E]

I will give it that. It's so funny.

[Brian Green]

Oh, this is the pit of cold calling.

[E]

It's very real.

[Brian Green]

There's not a lot of extra mustard on the hot dog. There's no tracheotomy.

[E]

All right, just one more day to.

[Brian Green]

Pre order your tcb merch shop, tcb podcast, podcast, dot com shop tcbpodcast.com go pre order that merch. Hoodies, T shirts, university sweaters, ball caps. And you get a free exclusive TCB sticker with every single purchase. We're excited to send that stuff out to you, so please do us a favor. If you can support the show in that way, we'd just be delighted. And make sure you text us. 212-433-TCB 212-433-38 Day 22 Let us know if you pre ordered the merch. We'd love to hear it. Also Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas? We take them all via text message or voicemail, add the commercial break on Instagram, get into our web of fall into the trap of our social media calling you. Oh definitely. That's our new social media strategy. All 9,000 of you. We're just going to start calling. So I said at the commercial break on Instagram. Oh YouTube.com the commercial break for all the episodes on video the same day. They are here on the audio. And of course you can go to the website tcbpodcast.com links to the shop in case you want to do it that way. The audio, the video and your free sticker. Not the same one you'll get with the with the merch, but a different one. All right, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for now.

[Chrissy]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

So you that I love you.

[Chrissy]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you.

[Chrissy]

Best to you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say goodbye.

[E]

Goodbye.

[Brian Green]

Sa.