Sailing On Noah's Ark!

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break

Episode: Sailing On Noah's Ark!

Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Release Date: August 21, 2025

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Overview

In this delightfully chaotic episode, Bryan and Krissy dive into their trademark blend of unfiltered banter and pop-culture riffing, self-deprecating as ever about their show’s lack of structure. This week, they dig into new TV obsessions, the concept of a “virgin dating” reality show, deep admiration for actor Noah Wyle, and their ongoing love affair with mock guru “Cold Call Paul.” Tangents abound, jokes are plentiful, and nothing is taken too seriously—classic Cheesecake Factory-of-comedy goodness.

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Main Discussion Segments

1. Reality TV Weirdness: “Are You My First?”

(05:42–12:30)

• Bryan’s New Obsession: Introduces a fictional (or real?) Hulu/Disney reality show where 36 virgins compete to lose their virginity. “Everyone looking to get fucked on Disney’s island… Disney took a left turn at Albuquerque.” (06:06)
• Krissy’s Perspective: Raises eyebrow at the “alleged virgins” premise and the mechanics of proof. “What is hymen check? I mean, what do you do? You can’t do that.” (06:31)
• Show Structure Discussion: They lampoon the concept, speculate on the challenges (“give a sensual massage to this person”), and joke about whether the producers care about “verifying.”
• Motivations for Virginity: Hosts riff on the variety of reasons contestants remain virgins, from power moves to religious reasons to a girl who’s “afraid of penises.”
• Host Is Colton Underwood: Bryan notes there are “a lot of dick jokes. There’s a lot of virginity puns. It’s really terrible writing.” (10:20)
• Comparison to Other Shows: They compare to Love Island, Bachelor, etc., and laugh about society’s obsession with televised “overnight” hookups.

Quote:
“There are shows that hit you right in the fucking giggle box, and then there are shows that hit you right in the heartstrings…and then there are shows that are just fucking interesting. And this happens to be all of those things combined.”
—Bryan (19:44)

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2. TV Catch-Up: Aliens Earth, Fargo, and “The Pit”

(12:19–20:59)

• Aliens Earth: Recap of the new season. Bryan finds episode 3 slow, with “a lot of slow-motion shots of the creatures,” but overall enjoys multiple species of aliens crash-landed on Earth.
• Fargo: Rumored to be getting a final season; both hosts are intrigued.
• The Pit: Their shared favorite—a hyper-realistic ER drama featuring Noah Wyle.
  • Bryan recounts insights from a Director’s Guild interview about the show’s intricacy (14:13–15:46).
  • Krissy finished the show before Bryan, accidently spoiled it, which becomes a running joke.
  • Discussion of “sophomore slump,” hopes for quality continuity, and joking about “too many love triangles.”
  • They praise its “ultra realism,” single-day-shift structure, and gritty detail (“a lot of tracheotomies”).

Quote:
“There’s not a lot of extra baggage or drama in this show…I hope they don’t add in all these, you know, ‘these two fell in love’ and there’s a love triangle and this, that, and the other. It seems good the way it is right now.”
—Krissy (15:46)

3. Noah Wyle & Celebrity Crush Tangent

(17:56–25:15)

• Noah Wyle Appreciation: Glowing praise for his acting—Bryan calls him “fantastic,” wonders “where has he been all my life?” (17:58)
• Career Recap: Discussion about Wyle’s ER legacy (10 years), guest roles, and his return on The Pit.
• Medical Drama Fatigue: Bryan contrasts The Pit’s quality with soap-operatic medical dramas.
• Noah Wyle Crush: Veers into improv about hospital fantasies. Bryan jokes about his vasectomy story, nurses, and “standing at attention if Noah Wyle walked in.” (21:11–22:24)
• Krissy asks: “Does Astrid know about Noah? About your love for Noah?” Bryan insists his wife can’t handle intense medical dramas, but jokes about a harem of celebrity crushes.

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4. Dua Lipa, Yacht Fantasies & Irreverent Improv

(22:54–25:50)

• Dua Lipa Admiration: Bryan gushes about her Instagram, charisma, and musical talent (“her music is a vibe”…“I’m all about it”).
• Imaginary Scenario: Bryant fantasies about a Mediterranean yacht adventure with Noah Wyle and Dua Lipa, riffing on “Below Deck”-style reality.
• Krissy dryly: “Good luck with that… been there, done that. Don’t need the t-shirt.” (25:15)
• They keep riffing: on yacht sex, sanitizing after Bryan, and the logistics of this odd celebrity triangle.

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5. “Cold Call Paul” Returns: Dissecting a Sales Guru

(30:49–67:01, main focus: 31:03–67:01)

Context:

• They revisit “Cold Call Paul,” a recurring comedic subject—a persistent, awkward, self-styled sales expert with a dubious grasp of social media marketing.

Segment Structure:

• Loving Roast: The hosts lovingly roast Paul’s YouTube videos, wardrobe changes, and “dad energy.”
• Breakdown of Paul’s Strategy:
  • Paul uses endless buzzwords, but offers little actual instruction.
  • Advocates “cold calling” leads who engage with your social media (“if people are following you and they're liking your content and they're commenting, what better lead can you ask for?” 42:03)
  • Contradicts himself, denounces ads/automation, then admits he might eventually try them.
  • Suggests “discovery, research, and analyze,” but cannot clarify actionable steps.
  • Introduces “the strategy called bots”—cluelessly.
• Bryan and Krissy’s Commentary:
  • Gently lampoon every vague platitude (“there’s a strategy out there called bots”; “I have no followers, that way you know I'm real.”)
  • Krissy tries to find practical application (“say I just started a lawn care company—how do I automate that?”) to highlight Paul’s lack of clear advice.
  • Joke about stalking leads on Instagram, doing minimal research, and the futility of Paul’s approach.
  • References to the “martial arts of sales,” Bryan riffing: “Sweep the leg, sweep the sale. Don’t let them sell you!”

Quote:
“I didn’t understand a fucking word. Oh my God. Damn it.”
—Bryan (67:15)

• Memorable Moments:
  • Bryan imaging cold-calling every podcast follower.
  • Extended improv about using bots to inflate your sales (jokingly).
  • Krissy “trying to kind of follow” the advice; Bryan breaks down laughing.
  • Bryan: “If someone follows him and they like his post, he assumes that’s an open invitation to go ahead and call them.”

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On Disney's "Are You My First?"
  “Now we got 36 virgins all competing for the dick. I love it.”
  —Bryan, (06:14)
• On verifying virgins:
  “Allegedly virgins…What is hymen check? I mean, what do you do? You can’t do that.”
  —Krissy, (06:31)
• On The Pit:
  “You start the shift with the doctor at 8 a.m…every hour is tick by tick…so it’s like an actual shift at an actual ER with all the realities…”
  —Bryan, (16:46–17:37)
• Noah Wyle as a heartthrob:
  “If Noah Wyle came in, I’d stand at attention, sir. I would have prepped myself. No, no, it’s beneath you. Let me touch my own micro penis.”
  —Bryan, (21:11)
• On “Cold Call Paul”:
  “There’s a strategy out there called bots.”
  —Paul, parroted by Bryan, (49:20)
• On Paul’s advice:
  “I didn’t understand a fucking word. Oh my God. Damn it.”
  —Bryan, (67:15)

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Key Takeaways

• Typical TCB Banter: Episode glories in tangents, from newly absurd dating reality shows to sincere (and not-so-sincere) TV show recommendations.
• Satirical, Good-Natured Roasting: Their takedown of “Cold Call Paul” exemplifies the show’s style of irreverent, affectionate critique of internet oddities.
• Running Jokes: Fantasizing about celebrities, below-the-belt humor, and repeated callbacks (“there’s a strategy out there called bots”).
• Authentic Friendship: The episode is effortlessly built on the hosts’ lifelong bond and improvisational chemistry.

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Episode Highlights by Timestamp

| Timestamp | Segment/Highlight | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------------------------| | 05:42 | Kickoff, “Will You Be My First?” (Virgin dating reality show riff) | | 12:19 | TV catch-up: Aliens Earth, Fargo, intro to The Pit | | 14:13–15:46 | Deep dive into The Pit’s production and realism | | 17:56 | Noah Wyle appreciation and vasectomy story | | 22:54 | Dua Lipa yacht fantasy, offbeat polyamory riff | | 30:49 | Return to Cold Call Paul, setup for YouTube roast | | 31:03–67:01 | Full breakdown and commentary on Paul's “sales” videos | | 49:20 | “There’s a strategy out there called bots” segment | | 66:25 | Bryan’s (and Krissy’s) exasperated summary of Paul’s advice |

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Tone

• Comedic, irreverent, fast-talking, and self-aware.
• Never takes itself too seriously—willing to roast everyone, including themselves.
• Strong undercurrent of affection; no malice in any ribbing or critique.

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Final Thoughts

A prime example of The Commercial Break’s signature style: spirited, off-color improv with a loose thread of pop culture commentary. Even when the topical “sales advice” offers no real value, Bryan and Krissy spin gold from the chaos. Whether you care about virgin reality TV, old hospital dramas, or the world’s most clueless sales guru, this episode delivers laughs and a glimpse into a truly unique podcasting universe.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Hello, my name is Paul. Thank you very much for taking my call. I have tried to find your home. Since you tried to block my calls on your cell phone. I'll be your friend. I'm your guy. I'll be your laundry folder. If you just buy. Here's the deal. I'll sell it all. I'm a black belt in the art of the cold.

[A]

Call.

[B]

Rang you once, rang you twice. Showed up at your office. Here's my advice. Please don't. Don't try and stall. You can't resist the power of cold, cold Paul.

[A]

Cold. Call Paul Cole. Call Paul Cole. Call Paul Cole. Call Paul.

[B]

I've tried so hard. I've been so kind. I've driven by your office 20 times. I followed you on Instagram. I even sent your wife a strip o gram.

[A]

Code call Paul. Code call Paul. Code call. Call. Call. Call Paul.

[B]

Kung fu sails.

[A]

Cold call. He is on a roll. Call Paul Cole. Call. On this episode of the commercial break. Get below this deck. Noah. Service my yacht engine. All due respect to my wife, of course, I actually asked her to be like, whatever. Yeah, good luck with that, Brian. I've been there, done that. Good luck. Been there, done that. Don't need the T shirt. Thanks. Anyway, tell Noah good luck. He farts in his sleep. Get out of there after sex. See you later. Dua. Lipa would be like, did you shower today? The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[C]

Best to you, Brian.

[A]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. My new reality show, Obsession is Will youl Be My First Are youe My first brand new show from the folks at Disney. Hulu. The family friendly show about 36 virgins.

[C]

Is it on that?

[A]

It's on Hulu. They're all. Everyone looking to get fucked on Disney's island. Oh, my God, Disney. I love Disney. I just love Disney with all my heart. And they took a left turn at Albuquerque. We're betting, we're gambling, we're having sex. We got aliens destroying people in bloody. The bloodiest scenes of television I've ever seen in my entire life. And now we got 36 virgins all competing for the dick. I love it.

[C]

Alleged virgins.

[A]

Allegedly. Allegedly virgins. Yeah. How do you know? What is hymen check? I mean, what do you do? You can't do that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And even a hymen isn't a for sure way to check. I mean, first of all, that's. Well, and what about the guys that's like crass. Well, the guys. That's easy. I think that one's easy. Do you listen to Alex Jones, Virgin? There you go. Done. All right. Check your history. There it is. You got it. No, there's no way to verify that information. And I guarantee the producers aren't looking to verify that information and what's happening on the island.

[C]

They're deflowering each other.

[A]

They're. Well, all of them have their varied reasons for being virgins. One girl says it's a power move that she believes in.

[C]

And by the way, nothing wrong with being a virgin. More power to you.

[A]

God bless America. I don't give a shit. What do I care? It's not bothering me one bit.

[C]

But this is meant to hook up fellow virgins to then have sex is really the premise, right?

[A]

I think at the end of the day, yes, they're hoping that a few people lose virginity. The one. Are you my first? Right. I think they're hoping that a few people get deflowered on the show. Makes for good television. And everyone's rooting for everyone to get laid on these shows anyway. Love Island, Bachelor, Bachelorette. That's. You know, the overnights are really what everybody's. They're doing it. They're doing it on Disney. This episode sponsored by D plus. You're gonna have to change your name. Like hbo, Skinimax plus or whatever they're calling. This is. This is just. Wow. You know that tlc, for a short period of time, recently had that show I'm this table just a little bit. If you need to. If you need to move it to you, feel free. Tlc, for a very short amount of time, had that television show like Virgin, the Virgins or whatever it was called.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

It only lasted for about four episodes. And then the fifth episode, they just wrapped it up really quickly with a quick synopsis of. I. I guess they took the Last six episodes and just kind of put little.

[C]

That's like that other show we were watching about all the polygamy.

[A]

Yeah. But there's a reason behind that. I got. I understood that. I think this was just bad ratings or maybe they figured out that no one really was a virgin. They just wanted to be on television.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But they had it on. And I don't know that it's all that fascinating that someone is a virgin. Like. Okay. But the varied reasons can be fascinating. Like, one girl power move. I believe there's power in giving sex. I believe there's power in withholding sex. And I'm looking to keep that power in my corner. Cool. All right. Girl boss move. Got it. 10, 4. I don't know who loses in that proposition. The people you would have sex with or you. Because sex is, quite frankly, pleasurable. It's one of those things. It's one of. I don't know. It's up there. It's gotta be up there, right?

[C]

Yeah, for sure.

[A]

Heroin, crystal meth. A new episode of the commercial break. Losing your virginity on heroin. On heroin and crystal meth while listening to the commercial. Best, Best podcast to have sex to.

[C]

Yeah, it used to be.

[A]

But the varied reasons. I get that we can get into the stories. Like, some people obviously have a religious. Religious spin on it, though. I highly question whether or not someone with real religious convictions would be on television. Right. On an island with 18, with 18 beautiful bodies, trying to resist the temptation. I don't know. Maybe some people just never had an opportunity to. One girl's afraid of penises. She's just afraid of penises. She just doesn't like them. She says, I don't like them. I don't want that in me, but I got to get over it. So this is. This is all very interesting to me. I've now watched about an episode and a half of it. It is very much like the Bachelor, Bachelorette Love island kind of vibe going on.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And the host is Colton Underwood, the guy who was the famous virgin on the Bachelorette that one season. And so there's a lot of dick jokes. There's a lot of virginity puns. It's really terrible writing.

[C]

What are they doing?

[A]

Challenges.

[C]

Okay. Challenges.

[A]

They put him on the island. They booze him up, obviously. Right. That's a good way to get everyone to get laid. Booze them up if that's what they're going to do. But then I don't know because we've only. I've only seen a little bit of there's 10 episodes, but they put them through the paces. Like, hey, we want you to give a sensual massage to this person. And then if you get your V card, you are allowed to stay. If you fall in love, if you couple up, you can stay otherwise kicked off the island and they'll bring new virgins in when some people lose their V card. You know what I'm saying? So there you go. And I'm assuming if you get laid, you're off the island. I don't know. I mean, are they incentivizing the wrong thing?

[C]

Right? I don't.

[A]

If you get laid, you should be able to stay. Like, the person who's having the most sex should be the king of. King of the crop. Right. How many virgins can you deflower? Should be the question. That should be the ultimate goal here. And I'm in it. I'm in it to win it. I'll say. Listen, Aliens Earth only comes out once a week. And King of the Hill so far good, not great. Only three episodes in. There's like 12 of them. I'll keep you posted. But Aliens Earth, very good. But episode number three, it was a bit like we kind of just went in circles a little bit and got to nothing. A lot of slow motion shots of the creatures. There's not only one alien, there's five different aliens. Five separate species of aliens that have been captured on a deep space research vessel and crashed into Earth. They left Earth 65 years ago. They crashed back into Earth because they have these aliens that got loose and. Fascinating. But episode three was not my favorite. Two. One and two started off really strong, and then three, I felt like we took a step backwards a little bit and I misunderstood. Maybe I'm misunderstanding some of the plot. But anyway, I'm keeping up with it and I'll. I'll let you know. I'm in it now. I got. I'm in it.

[C]

Yeah, once you started, it's hard to stop.

[A]

And I just wanted to share with you that I do believe there is going to be a far another season of Fargo. And that will be the last season is what I've heard. So, yes. Anyway, that's what I heard on a podcast with someone who had starred in a previous Fargo season.

[C]

I would love that.

[A]

Yeah, listen, I'm all in that Noah Wiley can keep out. Noah. Not Wiley. Wally. No, Howley. Howley. Howie. Howie talking about the guy who's like the executive producer, the showrunner for all of these shows.

[C]

No, Wiley was in the pit.

[A]

No, Wiley's in the Pit, which was my next point of. They're filming the next season of the Pit.

[C]

It's a great show.

[A]

And so I saw a clip from like the Directors Guild of America and they were. It was like a three minute clip where they were talking to three of the directors of Pit Season 1 about what it's like to direct an episode of the Pit. And they were explaining that it is so highly detailed and there is so involved. Yeah, I can imagine that they need it to look so realistic. They wanted to look so realistic that everyone has a storyline, even the background characters. They have their own storylines, their own purposes. They're go. When they're moving behind the camera, they're moving with purpose. Like they're going to get blood. They're going to clean this up, they're going to check in more people and that all hundred people that are on the set at any given time to make sure that the background is covered when they're turning the cameras quick. All of those people have to work at the same time, take bathroom breaks at the same time, eat at the same time. Where like some filming, some sets, you might have three actors in the scene with two background actors and then the rest of the cast is off doing whatever and then they come back when their call time is. It's like. And this show is unique in the sense that so many people are on set at any given time, all with storylines, all with characters, all with points of view. And I just am fascinated by this show. I think it's so fucking well done.

[C]

I agree. I agree. I'm glad you turned me on to it.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you.

[C]

And then I finished it before you.

[A]

Yeah. How did that happen? I don't know. Yeah, you did finish it before I did and I think you ruined one of the episodes for me. Thanks. But I don't care because it was so beautifully acted. I hope they don't lose any of this mad. I hope they don't have that sophomore slump like some shows do. You know where it's like, season one's so good. Your expectations are so high and then you get into season number two and you're like, was it as good as I remember it? Is it really as good as I remember?

[C]

Sometimes though, the second season's better.

[A]

True.

[C]

Because then everybody's just caught on coagulated together.

[A]

They're all. They're all together. And so many questions. Is the drug addict doctor, is he going to be allowed back in the building to do his work? Is the nurse like the head nurse? Is she going to come back and. And do another shift? Is right.

[C]

Because she was out of there.

[A]

She was gone. She had recently. She got punched and she was resigned to leave. I'm sorry, we're spoiling this all for you if you haven't seen it, but catch up quick because season two is going to be out before you know it. You need to watch the Pit, unless you, of course, you are very queasy. In that case, do not watch the Pit because it is highly detailed and that's what makes the show fascinating to me, is that there's not a lot of extra baggage or drama in this show. There are things that's what I hope.

[C]

Does not happen, that they add in all of these. You know, these two fell in love.

[A]

These two fell in love and there's.

[C]

A love triangle and this, that and the other. It seems good the way it is right now.

[A]

Correct. And one of them comes down with a mysterious disease that another doctor solves the problem in one episode. And then what is it so original and unique about this? And I know this is like they're being sued by Michael Crichton's estate for being the er essentially. But I don't ever remember and I only watched maybe 2 hours of ER total. I don't ever remember ER being this good ever. I know it had details, but it became a big fucking soap opera.

[C]

It did.

[A]

You. You didn't really. The medical. What was going on in the rooms took a back seat to what was going on in some third rate, you know, love story. That, yes, is interesting to some people, but just that's why I don't like medical dramas with House maybe being the exception to that. Yeah. The drug addict doctor who could.

[C]

Like Jackie was good.

[A]

I didn't watch Nurse Jackie, but maybe that's because I had been turned off to medical dramas. But what I like about the Pit is it's ultra realism. And then it's one day you start the shift with the doctor at 8:00am yeah.

[C]

And then you leave that.

[A]

It was 10 hours later.

[C]

Each an hour.

[A]

Yes. You leave with him 10 hours later, or in this case, a little bit later because of something that happens during the episode. But you leave with him. And every hour is tick by tick. It's notch by notch. Patient comes in with a problem, you're there solving that problem. Even if that problem takes three hours, he's going to be there in the next episode while they work through it. So it's like an actual shift at an actual er with all the realities of working in an er. The, you know, the. Who come in, who don't believe in science. The. All of it. Everything.

[C]

Yep, yep. Angry people. The tracheotomies. I remember that there were a lot of.

[A]

A lot of tracheotomies going on. Yes. A lot of people are getting their throats cut open. And I started watching it, like right after I got my throat cut open and it started to bother me a little bit. I was like, oh, yeah. But I stuck it through. And then what. What else can we say about Noah Wiley?

[C]

I mean, fantastic.

[A]

Where did. Where has he been all my life?

[C]

Yeah. Because what was. What was the other thing? And I. I don't know why I'm drawing a blank on what he was in before he was in er. That's right. Okay. And then what was. What was. The other medical show came out around the same time.

[A]

Jacobs Crossing. No, not Jacob's Crossing. Jacob's Ladder was a fucked up movie. No, it's.

[C]

Anyways, okay, but he was er.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Okay. Yeah. And then what happened in between? We don't know.

[A]

We don't know. But he was on many, many seasons of er. He was there for. If I'm not mistaken, he was there for a long time. Let's look that up real quick. I know which.

[C]

Yeah. I watched ER for like the first few years and then I stopped.

[A]

Noah Wiley. No, Wiley. A bit older than you and I in his career.

[C]

He looks great.

[A]

I wish. 95 to 2005. He was on ER.

[C]

90 for 10 years.

[A]

He went on from 90 to 94. 90 to 94. He was on some. He was in the movie A Few Good Men.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And some other stuff that you may or may not have heard of. And then he got cast. And Michael Crichton's executive produced by Steven Spielberg, er. He also was in Friends, or one of the. Somebody wanted him for Friends, but.

[C]

So he was in ER for 10 years.

[A]

10 years. 95 to 2005 is what it says here. Wow, that's a long time.

[C]

And then 20 years later, comes back to another.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Medical show. He plays a great doctor.

[A]

He was the final original cast member to leave 2006 to 2008.

[C]

Grey's Anatomy. That's the other medical thing I was thinking of.

[A]

Yes, you're right about that. So then. Yeah. And then 20, 24, he pops up on the pit. Just a brilliant, all around brilliant performance. And he's an executive director and writer on that show too. And so I just can't rave enough about this show. To me, there are shows that, like Hit you right in the fucking giggle box. And then there are shows that hit you right in the heartstrings. And then there are shows, and then there are shows that are just fucking interesting. And this happens to be all of those things combined. There are funny human moments. There are certainly moments that led me to a tear or two. Yeah, for sure. And, yeah, it's fascinating. It is, it's fascinating. So go watch The Pit Season 2. It's coming up. I don't know when, but I hope it's not too long. If we can get it. If we can just get one episode of the Pit in between the incredibly popular release of Stranger Things. Thanksgiving and New Year's, like the three Thanksgiving, Christmas seasons.

[C]

Do you think it'll come out again this year?

[A]

I don't know. It doesn't seem like. It seems like a hard show to direct to get all those people to do that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And film every scene. It seems very hard. And the continuity that is needed, but I think they do a lot of those in one take. What I'm hoping is, because it's a lot of one takes that they can flip it around really quickly.

[C]

We're not going to demand.

[A]

Oh, demand right here, the commercial break. I need my Noah Wiley. I've got a half heart. I need a full raging hard on for Noah Wiley. Trach me. Trach me, Noah. Trach me. I am in love with another man and his name is Noah Wiley. And he could be my doctor any day of the week. If Noah Wiley walked in. If, you know, I told my story about how I got a vasectomy and the world's four most beautiful nurses decided to come in and prep my cock. And thank God I was on laughing gas and just threw. I just decided that pride was not a part of any. Anything that I needed to be concerned about. If Noah Wiley came in, I'd stand at attention, sir. I would have prepped myself. I would have been like, no, no, no, no, no, it's beneath you. Let me touch my own micro penis. They needed four nurses because one had to hold the microscope, the other one had a monocle and a third had to take a TikTok for their micropenises of the world account. And it was the fourth that put iodine on and shaved me.

[C]

Okay. But Noah would.

[A]

Noah. No, sir. This is beneath you.

[C]

Does Astrid know about Noah? About your love for Noah?

[A]

Astrid could not stomach a medical drama like this. No way, no how. There are dying children. There are. There's a lot of stuff that Astrid would just be Too anxiety riddled with. She just doesn't like those type of television shows where it gets her anxious. But I. I'm not going to introduce her to Noah. It's not going to happen. She's got a. She's got enough.

[C]

So far I've got Dua Lipa and Noah.

[A]

Yeah. On your list, Dua Lipa and Noah. If they could be my doctor and my nurse for my next vasectomy, I would have. She ate it. That Dua Lipa has taken some time off after her concert and I follow her on Instagram and I'm always like, damn. A day in the life of Dua Lipa. Not only is she obviously a very physically attractive woman, not as pretty as my wife, but, you know, I don't think Astrid would argue with me. She's a physically attractive woman, but she's just living the life.

[C]

Oh yeah, she totally is.

[A]

She's out there. And Ibiza. Good for her. Parts of Do It Up Girl parts of Spain that I could only afford for two months in 2023.

[C]

For a lunch.

[A]

For a lunch. That's right. She is just living the life. Good for her. You know, she's got all these people around her that seem to love her. She really does seem to be having just a great time with it. And people love her, you know, she's got great. I. I was telling Gustavo, Gustavo and I were talking about this in Naples and we were out one night. He says, you really like Dua Lipa, huh? And I said, man, her. I. I thought she was attractive the first time I saw her, but when I saw her, she was doing like a tiny desk concert or something. One of those drips down. I don't know if it was tiny desk, but it was like a stripped down acoustic and she was singing one of her song, you know, and I thought, wow, not only is this girl attractive, but this is a jam. And then I saw her play. I can't think of the theater in. In London. Royal Albert Hall. Okay, she played Royal Albert hall and they filmed it for Netflix or for Amazon, one of the two. And then I watched that a couple of months later and she's amazingly talented and her music is a vibe. It's a whole thing. I like it. I'm all about it. Dua Lipa, Noah Wiley Threesome Brian. Dua Lipa, Noah Wiley.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

On our private yacht in the Mediterranean Just sucking and fucking all the time on the below deck, below deck cruise get below this deck Noah Service my yacht engine all due respect to my Wife. Of course, she actually. Astrid would be like, whatever. Yeah, good luck with that, Brian.

[C]

Good luck with that.

[A]

I've been there, done that. Good luck, been there, done that. Don't need the T shirt. Thanks anyway. Tell Noah good luck. He farts in his sleep. Get out of there after sex. See you later. Dua Lipa would be like, did you shower today? Sanitizer. I could see Dua Lipa's assistant running over like, sanitizer. No, no, no, no. No thanks. No sanitizer.

[C]

You need it.

[A]

The whole thing all over. All right, let's take a break. Oh, listen, you guys reacted so positively to cold. Call Paul. He got so excited that we did it, that I've got part three and four lined up. Why not? Let's just have a fuzz. Just have fun this week. It's a. It's an aw. It's a week. We're getting back into work after we had to take the week off. Yes. Last week from coming back from our vacation. So we're still recovering from our easing back in from our third summer vacation. We'll be back with cold Call Paul. Hey there, cats and kittens. It's Rachel. I have a terrible cold, but Brian wanted me to pass along the message that tcb's exclusive merch drop happens Friday, August 8th through the 22nd. You can pre order your limited edition commercial break hat, hoodie, university sweater or T shirts and get an exclusive TCB sticker free with every purchase. Go to shoptcbpodcast.com Friday, August 8th through the 22nd to pre order your merch because when the window closes, it closes for good. So mark it on your calendars. Friday, August 8th through the 22nd. Shop tcb podcast.com Now I'm gonna go take some DayQuil and feed Axel more pork chops. Best to you. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. I'm out on our little break. I'm over at the local coffee shop and I'm talking to one of the people behind the counter and they say, I want to start my podcast. To which I reply, you already have more listeners than we do. But their question to me was, what do I need in order to launch a podcast? Three things. A microphone, an idea, and a website. And our good friends at Squarespace, they have the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're creating content, selling something, offering a service, or just want to keep people informed about your comings and goings, you can build your website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. And if a website is a building block of a business, what's the building blocks of the website? Two things in my opinion. Number one Design. You got to have a good looking design and Squarespace has a collection of cutting edge design tools that anyone can use to build a website that fits your brand perfectly. Number two Building block. You have to be found. As I've often said about podcasting, if you want to be heard, you have to get found. No different out there on the world wide web. And search engine optimization is the key to doing that. While some companies and services may charge thousands or tens of thousands of doll for search engine optimization, it's included with every single website on Squarespace. And the great news about all of this is you do not have to be some designer, programmer search engine optimization expert. Squarespace is designed to help me build a website and if I can do it, you can do it. I'm really not all that smart. Go to squarespace.com commercial to save 10% off your purchase of a website or domain using the code commercial and start building your business or grow the one that you have or refresh that multi billion dollar conglomerate. Squarespace.com commercial and when you're ready to launch, make sure to use the code commercial and thank you to Squarespace for always being a sponsor of the commercial break.

[D]

Hello, it's Lena Dunham.

[A]

I host a podcast called the C.

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Word with my dearest friend and historian of bad behavior, Alyssa Bennett. What is Up Up?

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It's a chat show about women whose.

[D]

Society is called Crazy. We're going to be rediscovering the stories of women's society dismissed by calling them mad, sad, or just plain bad. Listen to and follow the C Word with Lena Dunham and Alyssa Bennett. Available now.

[C]

Wherever you get your podcasts, summer's winding.

[D]

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[A]

All right, so yesterday, as you're listening to this, we were having some fun with Cold Call Paul, who we had found back in, I think, season three. Yeah, if I'm not mistaken, I remember we were sitting at the table earlier and we went through like a little run.

[C]

Power table.

[A]

The power table. Power bottom. We went through a little run, maybe three, four different videos of Paul doing live cold calls that he was recording, putting on YouTube. And man, was it funny because he would just. He was pretty bad at it, first of all, but he was pretty persistent, second of all. And then people would be like, well, listen, I'll. I'll let you go and I'll give you a call back if I need anything. And he, Paul would be like, what do you say if I don't hear from you by Wednesday, I'll call you next month. And they'd be like, yeah, sure, whatever. And he'd be like, see, that's a close. Yeah, they wanted.

[C]

As a close.

[A]

They wanted to hear back from me. That's a close. So Paul was kind of patting his stats a little bit, in my opinion. So we got back to it yesterday. Go listen to that episode if you want. We came upon a series of videos he did. This is about three years ago, by the way, a series of videos he did where he is highlighting that he has now gotten on board with the social media sales strategy or what he's calling the martial arts of social media sales. Roundhouse kick, roundhouse kick to the social medias, roundhouse kick to Facebook.

[C]

But he'll leave it before those customers.

[A]

That's right. He. If he finds his customers are on a platform, he'll leave it before they do. So we don't understand exactly what Paul is saying. We think that this is just a lot of buzzwords strung together to make it sound like he's giving you some kind of information. The problem with Paul, like a lot of other people that are self help type people or gurus or sales consultants that are on the Internet. And Frankie B. Falls victim to this, as does the Paulie couch cushions and the PUAs. The PUAs, that's right. They all talk in circles, but they never Give you any details. They never give you an example. They never show you. They're not instructive. They're just. It's just verbal diarrhea. It's a lot like the episode of the commercial break, only we promise it. We don't make any promises. You're going to learn anything. No, you probably figured that out a long time ago. So let's get into. We did one and two yesterday. And so let's do three, and we'll see if we can get to four. We're just gonna have some fun this week and. And play with our good buddy Cold Call Paul, because I'm. This is another one of these.

[C]

He's a lovable guy. He really is, I have to say.

[A]

He really is. So if you're listening, and it's likely you'll. You'll know that you're on these videos if you're listening. This isn't because we don't love you. We do love you, actually. We make fun because we love. We know that you're hustling. And as I said yesterday at the end of our little, you know, review of the videos, a little breakdown of the videos. I have mad respect for anybody who's trying to make content hustle. Whatever your gig is, whatever your game is, as long as you're not hurting other people, I have mad respect for you. I don't see you hurting anybody else. You're not selling anything, particularly selling his own services. Maybe. But when I say you're not selling anything, I mean you're literally not selling anything. But at the end of the day, I don't see that you're harming anybody. You're like a Frankie B. You're like the sales Frankie.

[C]

And it strikes a chord with us because we met while we were working in a sales environment and had quite a few of these type people come in.

[A]

That's right. I could easily see Cold Call Paul walking into a clear channel in 2008 and giving us this same information where we would leave with the same lack of knowledge. All right, so number three. Here we go. Let's see what Paul has to say. Excited for this? Check it out, guys.

[C]

Oh, he's in jeans now.

[A]

Oh, okay. So we went from yesterday. He was wearing like. Yeah, tactical pants or something. Dockers khakis changed.

[C]

He had a hat on in the first one.

[A]

Had in long hair. Then he showed up with no hat and short hair and black, like military pants, essentially, with a lot of pockets in it. And now he's got a black.

[C]

Now he's got my dad's outfit on.

[A]

Yeah, that is a. That is a suburban dad outfit.

[C]

Something jeans and like a button down long sleeve shirt.

[A]

Something your dad would show up to, like dinner on a patio in the middle of August in Atlanta, Georgia with. You know what I'm saying? Like, dad, why didn't you wear a short and that belt. I gotta tell you, Paul, it's time for a new belt.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because when it wraps around you twice, he has lost weight. Yeah. All right, let's listen.

[B]

Series on my exciting social media investment strategy. How to get qualified leads through my system and my strategy and convert those leads into sales is very, very exciting.

[A]

Is that the title? How to get qualified leads on social media strategy. My strategy. Very, very exciting platforms. All social media platforms, leads.

[B]

Part three is how to get qualified leads on all of your platforms.

[A]

I love his eyes. Dark back and forth.

[C]

I know it is. He's maybe reading something.

[A]

Yeah, he's maybe reading something and there's someone there.

[C]

Right.

[A]

But he looks like the Cheshire. Like, he looks like he just ate a bird. You know what I'm saying? He's trying to get away with something. He's like, what can I put here?

[B]

More point. How to convert those qualify leads.

[C]

Okay, now here's where we're gonna get to the meat and potatoes, right?

[A]

Yes. Right, right, right, right. We're going for it on this one. We've put up with one and two. Can we get to three? Yeah. By the way, he said how to convert social media leads into sales. And then he says, and this is where I teach you how to convert social media leads into sales. Tune.

[B]

Very exciting. Now for the introduction.

[A]

Okay, you don't have to announce.

[C]

Very exciting, very exciting.

[A]

Why does he walk away like, I don't know, later. I'm gonna not do the introduction because it's very loud and it gives me a headache.

[B]

Okay, check it out, guys. Welcome to the martial arts of sale. This is part three of a five part series on how to use my.

[A]

By the way, on the title of this video on YouTube in case you want to go watch it yourself on YouTube it says part 15. Whoops.

[B]

Social media.

[A]

Maybe he meant to put one five and it came up as one investment.

[B]

Strategy to help you accomplish three things. One, getting qualified leads, number two, converting those leads into sales, and number three, more importantly, increasing your monthly cash flow.

[A]

I love increasing. I'm a big fan of increasing.

[B]

Isn't that what it's all about?

[A]

Yes. Yes.

[B]

Before we get into the topic, I.

[A]

Could see us in the Back of the room. Yes. Get to it, please. Get into it, please. Braves game at 4. Free bar tab.

[B]

You're watching this on YouTube. Please hit the subscribe button below. If you like this video, smash the like button. Do share.

[A]

These boomers gotta stay. Stop saying smash that like bar. It's not a bar, it's a thumbs up.

[C]

Smashing.

[B]

And I do appreciate it. Constructive feedback now.

[A]

Okay, well, then you'll appreciate the last three episodes of the commercial as it's.

[C]

As he's standing further back too. I have to say that those pants do not fit him. Those look like pantaloons. Like ballooned out pantaloons.

[A]

What's that? That's my favorite kind of pants.

[B]

Part three, how to get qualified leads on your social media platforms.

[A]

I love, love, love. There's nothing that I love. If you listen to the show, then you'll know it. And I think Chrissy will agree with me wholeheartedly on this one. There is nothing more exciting. There is nothing that gets my pickle in a tickle more than someone showing up to a meeting with a whiteboard or a PowerPoint that has the words you're about to say written on it.

[B]

Here's one of the things that I've.

[A]

Classic move, classic move. That's a power move right there from a power director. When you walk in the door with a PowerPoint with every word you're about to say written down on it, I say, this guy, he's got the balls of a beluga. He's gonna sell me on a billion dollar service.

[B]

The bloodline of every business, whether you're a startup company or an existing business of 20 years. The bottom line is this. Qualified leads that turn into customers. Right. That's what it is.

[A]

I'm pretty sure it's revenue, but. Okay. All right.

[B]

And if you're able to consistently do both of those things, guess what happens. Your monthly cash flow increases. Your annual revenue increases. The profits is depending on your expenses. And bottom line, whatever your investment is, you're looking to get a high return on your investment. It's very simple business. I call it the seven pillars of.

[A]

But wait, why a return on your invest. I don't understand. A return on your investment. I. I'm not getting it.

[C]

Yeah, I don't know, maybe your time investment.

[A]

Yeah, hey, listen, time investment, I can understand that one.

[B]

But those who are on social media, the most important thing you need to.

[A]

Know, there are just a few of those.

[C]

It's a niche market.

[A]

A niche market. But if you're going to go there Let me tell you, how is this.

[B]

That there's a lot of opportunities right now to increase your revenue.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Following you.

[B]

The problem I see and I. Oh.

[A]

He'S identified a problem.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Run into is that people don't like.

[A]

To do the grunt work, the drunk work. I hate doing the drunk work. I'm just a lonely drunt over here in my drunty job.

[B]

What I call the important word. Why? Because we're so used to everything fast. We want everything automated. We're not very patient people anymore. We want instant gratification. For me, I avoid that.

[A]

Me too. That's why I hereby call for no Wiley and do a leaver to be on my yard tomorrow.

[B]

So what I try to do is use the technology that's available to me and complement with what I'm used to doing. And that is cold calling. That is taking call to action. That is communicating with people verbally and physically.

[A]

Hey, polly. Hey, Paul. 2025 down, buddy. I know you want to take off that parachute you've got as a pair of jeans. Get down to action. Well, let's slow your roll, buddy. Slow your roll.

[B]

So here's what's happening. How do you get qualified leads on your social media platform?

[A]

Exactly. Tell us. Okay, here we go. I have a feeling he's going to come through with one point to me.

[B]

Is the easiest place to get qualified leads.

[A]

Great, let's hear it.

[B]

Why do I say that?

[A]

Here we go, here we go.

[B]

I say that because if people are following you and they're liking your content and they're commenting on your content and.

[A]

They'Re sharing it, what if people are mostly hating on my content? How do you convert those people?

[C]

Or if you have nobody following you?

[A]

What if this idiot talks too much? Or why, why is he sitting like that? What are. Those are the type of comments you get.

[B]

What better lead can you ask for than that? But you have to see that because everybody's goal on social media, most everybody, because social media is a long term play, is to be popular.

[A]

Social media is not a long term play, my friend. It's a transactional minute and a half at best. There's no long term play about social media. People following you for a long time is good, that's great, you want that. But I don't understand what you mean by long term play. Unless you're talking about like constantly feeding content until someone gets engaged in your services, I guess. So like nurturing a lead.

[C]

Follow you?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And comment share.

[A]

Yeah, we've been doing it for Five years worked out great for us.

[B]

Worked out great to be recognized. Obviously branding is important to be influential, but that's a long term play. In the meantime, what I do is I go after business. I'm not going to wait for it to come to me.

[A]

But I thought you said go get it. I thought you said it's about people following you and commenting on your content.

[B]

I have to build that no matter what my password, no matter how successful I was in the past. This is a different era, a different time. Which actually is a better time to accelerate your business. But there's some fundamental principles you need to know.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You have to go after the business. If you believe you have something of value.

[A]

I do.

[B]

And it's in a competitive industry, then it's your duty to stick out like a sore thumb.

[A]

In other words, I hate stinking out like a sore thumb.

[B]

But let's go stand out different than your competitors. And you have to go out there and get, especially if you're a young entrepreneur, a new starter small business or young salesperson. What I mean by young in the sales industry, you gotta go get it. After 30 years, I still go get it and I still get objections. I still get people doubting what I do.

[C]

Where are you going to get it and what are you getting?

[A]

How? Step one, post a piece of content relevant to your business. Step two, boost that piece of content. Step three, email everybody who engaged in your content. Step four, what are you gabbing on here, Paul?

[B]

That it doesn't work.

[A]

But it does.

[B]

I'm here to show you that.

[A]

Please show me.

[B]

Well, let's get into it.

[A]

All right, here we go.

[B]

Is target who your customers will be.

[A]

Well, you've now said that on all three videos. Let's go.

[B]

Here's what I've learned through cold calling. You know, I used to have automated dollar systems and things like that. While cold calling allows you to do especially on social media is you get to learn a target.

[A]

I love cold calling on social media. Instagram. Dial up dad.

[B]

Who you want your customers to be and who you want your followers to be. How does it's not how many followers you have is the quality of the followers you have. That could potentially become clients and long term relationships. That is your job. That is my job.

[A]

Go tell.

[B]

Is it a little bit more work than having automated. Yes.

[C]

Did he say he had an automated dialer before? Yeah, it's just automatically dialing. Just random businesses and calling.

[A]

Yeah. Or you put it into a. I've never had an automatic dialer though. I'm thinking about getting one for the commercial break. Hi, this is Brian Green from the commercial break. I got your phone number from a friend. I'll do the old hello, and then they'll go, hello. Hi, this is Brian Greene from the commercial break. Recently we've run into financial issues, but you can help. Are you there? Yes. Who am I talking. This is Brian Greene from the commercial break. Available now on Apple. Endorsed by none other than Dr. Phil.

[C]

The reputable.

[A]

The reputable. The honorable Dr. Phil. The honorable Dr. Phil. Did you see where Pete Hegseth and Robert JFK Jr. Were at the gym doing a push up contest? I thought to myself, the only thing that rounds this out is Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil. And you've got an episode.

[B]

It.

[A]

You got an episode of the Dr. Phil Show. I can't wait for the UFC fight.

[C]

Oh, God.

[B]

Should be automated. Organic is one of the best ways to build your portfolio, increasing your cash flow. So when you're able to.

[A]

I don't want to increase my cat flow. It's the best way to increase your cat flow.

[B]

In a position to be automated, you have a combination of both. Does that make sense?

[C]

No.

[A]

No.

[B]

So you have to target who you want your customers to be.

[C]

Okay, okay.

[A]

Who I want my customers to be and who they. Who I want my listeners to be Dua Nepa and Dua Lipa and no, Wiley. Who? My listeners are South Georgia, Sean and Astrid.

[C]

I mean, I'm trying to kind of follow what he's saying. I'm put. Trying to say, okay, okay, say I just started. Bring me up to speed. Say I just started a lawn care company or something like that. You know, let's go lawn.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I'm gonna target people with lawns. Yeah. People in the neighborhood who have lawns.

[C]

And then how do I automate that?

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

And reach them on the socials?

[A]

I don't know. Last time I checked, Google doesn't have a section people with lawns. But I'm sure that there are services that offer that kind of information.

[C]

Well, you could if you were doing the advertising part.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

Of Facebook and Instagram. But he's saying, don't do that.

[A]

He's saying, don't do that. You want them to be organic. So what do you do? You look for pictures of people.

[C]

I think you actually do need to go cold. Call the homes.

[A]

Yes. You need to show up at the.

[C]

Front door and say, hey, will you follow me so that I can call on you later?

[A]

I want to stalk you on my Instagram growth strategy for converting sales to leads to sales. So if you don't mind, can you open up your phone real quick?

[C]

Quick and follow me and then comment.

[A]

And then comment. And then I'm going to follow back and then I'm going to jump off the platform. Do you have. Do you have a phone number that I could call in the future? Not yet. We need to build a relationship on social media. I got to get you to trust me. Oh, poor Paul.

[B]

Why do I say, who do you want your followers to be? Because there's a strategy out there called bots. People buy bonds.

[A]

There's a strategy out there called bots.

[C]

It's just called bots.

[A]

That's why I want my followers to be. Which strategy is that, Paul? That's funny.

[B]

You pay for a certain amount of dollars for get a certain amount of people to follow. You'll like you for me. I don't like that because that's not genuine.

[C]

You can't call on those bots.

[A]

No. You can try. Well, bots calling me all the time. I generally have a service that sends them. Yeah. That blocks them.

[B]

Me talking to myself. And there's no business in that. All it does, it inflates your followers.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

To get other real followers. And you don't think they know that. So I keep it simple.

[A]

I have no followers. That way you know that I'm real. My first follower is going to know just how real I am because I have no followers. I love this. This is so good. All right, well, listen, let's take a. There's a strategy called bots. I'd like to introduce you to my revolutionary sales strategy, bots. You give them the credit card, they buy up a bunch of your products. You pay back the credit card. Revenue neutral. But sales are through the roof. It's the commercial breakway of doing business. Oh, my God. That is too good. That's too good. Zero out your revenue with my new bud strategy. Looking for deductions on your taxes. Have bots buy on your behalf. There's a new strategy. Oh, my God.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

That should be a whole episode in and of itself. There's a new strategy out there. I demand that Paul does a video on the strategy of bots. Sales strategy called bots. Thoughts? Oh, all right. Oh, I can see why everyone was in love with part one, because it is pretty. This is pretty fun. You got it. I love you, Paul. I love you. You want to come on the show? I'd be happy to hear you out. I'd be Happy to hear you.

[C]

Strategy.

[A]

Yeah, I'd be happy to give you a chance to define your sales strategy more in depth. All right, let's take a break. We'll be back.

[D]

Let me do something Brian has never done.

[A]

Be brief.

[D]

Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-4333, tcb. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercialbreak and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now wasn't it? You're welcome.

[C]

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[D]

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Got pre qualified for a Carvana auto.

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[A]

That's cool.

[D]

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Done.

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And I get to pick up my.

[D]

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[A]

That's what they said.

[C]

You can spend time trying to pronounce.

[D]

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[A]

All right, back with Cold Call Paul. I had to take a minute to let my cheeks relax for a second. I was laughing so hard okay, here he is. He's coming back.

[B]

More is not always better. Less is more qualities more.

[A]

That's what I've always said. Less sales is better in just my view.

[B]

Does that make sense?

[A]

No.

[B]

Do yourself a favor. Really think about who you want your customers to be. Who is fit for your services or your products. That takes thinking. So that's number one.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Number two, I call it discovery research and analyze.

[A]

Discovery and research is probably same thing, but. All right, I'll follow you.

[B]

When you want to target your audience and you want to identify or you have identified who your audience or your customers will be. Now this is where the work begins. You have to discover what they have on social media. How is their presence. I know I do that.

[A]

That is creepy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, that's just creepy. Yeah. I mean there will be an occasion. Like if someone follows the commercial break. Right. On occasion. Not very often, but on occasion, if they have an interesting profile photo, I might go to their profile. Like I saw there was. Someone followed us. They had cool art one time right on their profile photo. So I went, I saw they had a bunch of other cool art. So I liked a couple of the photo. Giving comments that, hey, you do a commission to piece, like, you know, that's cool art. But you don't just follow people and then like stalk them.

[C]

Again, I don't. It seems almost like he's talking about business to business.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, if that's the. If that's what he's talking about.

[C]

Same like consumer. Now how can you target the consumer without doing, you know, targeted advertising?

[A]

Yeah. And even then, I mean, I've looked at Instagram. I mean Facebook does have a pretty. Facebook, which owns Instagram Meta, they have a pretty in depth targeting system for Instagram and for Facebook you can really dive down into what they like or what they're what they may like. Like more likely to own a Mercedes Benz or whatever the deal is. So. But then again, just go ahead and spend the money and target them with a message that looks good to them. Why are you gonna go through every Instagram profile and stalk them? Yeah. Doesn't make much sense. Sense.

[B]

What do they have? What do they have? What they lack? What do they need?

[A]

How do you know that from Instagram? People don't put. I mean older people might.

[C]

The next door might spotted Mexican and.

[B]

Get in tune with who they are as far as their business, how long they've been in business, you know.

[C]

Okay, all right.

[A]

If it's business to business, then you can understand why he's Doing this, that's.

[B]

Part of discovery, that's part of research. Then once you get that data, you start to analyze. You know, if these people can't just.

[C]

Go to their website.

[A]

Yeah, just go to their website and read the summary page. That's what I used to do.

[C]

And call or email them.

[A]

Yeah, that's right. You know what I used to do? We put proposals together and you know, my boss would say, you're gonna write a cover page, you know, with a summary of what they do in their business. I'd go to their homepage, I'd take their summary paragraph, I'd rewrite it, and then I'd put it on the proposal. That's what you do. Don't worry about all this. Take him to the strip club.

[C]

The Braves game.

[A]

The Braves game.

[B]

Book on Twitter, LinkedIn, whatever the case may be, everyone has a different strategy. So you analyze that and then you determine, okay, I want these people here to be my customer. These are potential customers. Now you, now you have a game plan that's called a plan of attack, which I mentioned in part two. Does that make sense?

[A]

Well, I can't respond to you, but okay, yeah, this is pretty salesy 101 stuff. And I do get the sense that Cold Call Paul is really targeting very newbie salespeople, people who don't have much information on the actual, like, science of selling. And you do have to do some research, but I wouldn't suggest stalking them like that. That's, that's just a waste of time. You need to understand if they're interested in your services first, and then if they are, then it's worthy. Unless you're doing like huge business to business sales. Sales like you're gonna go in like. I used to sell Kellogg's Cons. At one time I sold, not Kellogg's Post Consulting services.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And for five days, me and the team who was going up to pitch this, you know, multi million dollar consulting package, for five days, we researched the division. We were pitching the people who worked for the division, what they had bought in the past, what you know, what software they had now, what that software did and didn't do so that we understood where the weaknesses are, the places we could fill in the gap. But, you know, if you're selling lawn care services, you know, do you have a lawn? Do you do it yourself? Would you like some extra time on the breaks?

[B]

Yeah, it's pretty easy because you want to be prepared. One thing I've learned, when I started calling people on social media, the Reaction I got was like shocking surprise, people calling them. I understood why after a while.

[A]

How do you call on social media?

[C]

People were shocked.

[A]

I understand why are you stalking me? When it said Facebook calling, LinkedIn calling, I'm shocked.

[B]

Why?

[A]

That was.

[B]

Either some of them were using bots as a getting people to respond to them or automated responses so they didn't even know who they were following. They were just paying somebody to do that. So I learned that I became more effective, more efficient. Now I have more communication, more dialogues of people on Instagram.

[A]

I see he's like Rocky in Rocky 4. He's up in Russia. He's. He's learning. He's putting his strategy down before he makes any accounts. Rising up upon the streets. Took my time, took my chances. Put a huge belt around my kneecaps and now I've got big old pants. I'm the cold call. Paulie.

[B]

Facebook and Twitter and LinkedIn. Does that make sense? So remember this number two is discovery, research and analyze.

[A]

Got it. Committed to memory. Committed to memory.

[B]

This is where people become hesitant. You start the initial call to action.

[C]

Yes. What is your message?

[B]

Typically is when you have a website or you have a posting, you want to make sure that you have enough hook in your content to get people to take call to action. Right?

[A]

Right. The one thing that take call to action. Right. Okay.

[B]

Because I'm not influential. I'm not huge on the Internet. I do have a decent presence. And I'm not gonna wait for the people that like my content or following me or commenting to do a call to action.

[A]

Okay. I'm going to kidnap them and by gunpoint. I'm going to force them to click on. Schedule an appointment now.

[B]

Going to do their job.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

I'm going to go call them. They like my content and they're sharing my content and they're commenting on my content. What more can I ask for them.

[A]

To reach out to you and say.

[C]

I need your service because there's no other reason they'd be following you.

[A]

That's it? Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of people that follow the commercial. I say a lot. There's a few people that follow the commercial break. I don't think all of them listen to the show. And I'm not going to call them and ask them to. Yeah, that's kind of silly.

[B]

That's a. They're taking a call action to me. My job is to follow up.

[A]

You did it first. You started it.

[C]

You followed me.

[A]

Don't click on.

[C]

Don't you need my surgeon services.

[A]

I could see if you like one of his posts. You're just in a never ending web of cold calls from Paul.

[B]

Does that make sense?

[A]

No.

[B]

But if you don't have the right target customers that you want them to be, and you haven't done your discovery research and analyzed the online presence, are you, what are you going to call them about? What kind of action are you going to talk to them about? Because remember this when you do.

[A]

I was researching, discovering and analyzing your middle child and I noticed he lost a tooth and I wanted to call and say congratulations, I can cut your lawn for $49.99 a month. I can play the tooth fairy for $10.99 and you take the action then.

[B]

In reverse are going to try to sell you their services, right?

[A]

No. What?

[B]

What?

[A]

No. Never once has that ever happened. Never once. Except at a dealership. But to be fair, I said I was in the market for a car.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

So you got to be prepared for all that. That and every single platform that.

[C]

That's where the martial arts. You got to deflect.

[A]

Yes, sensei.

[B]

You have tremendous amount of qualified leads that are ready to buy from you.

[A]

Sweep the leg, sweep the sale. Don't let them sell you. Don't let them sell you.

[B]

And what most people do is they don't go after it unless there's an ad.

[A]

What?

[B]

So what I'm trying to teach and show and help you understand that Facebook ads, Instagram ad and boosting and promoting, there's nothing wrong with that. It works.

[A]

I get it.

[B]

What I'm trying to do is complement that. So using your money wisely. So let's say you do a boosting on Facebook and you get, let's say you get, you reach 4,000 people pool. Let's say you get 200 likes and maybe it's, you know, 20 shares.

[A]

200 likes? Geez, that's a really high percentage.

[C]

Yeah, well, and you're gonna have to go through each one of those likes and determine if.

[A]

If they're interested in your services. What if the strategy is bots? What do we do?

[B]

That's exciting, right? People like Macan, where. Where's the business from there? See, the purpose of that, that is to get recognition.

[A]

Recognition. I don't want much recognition. Recognition, I'll take popular is to be.

[B]

Known is for people to see you. That's good, but why not generate business at the same time?

[A]

At the same time. I should make fun. I mean, you know, some people talk different than other people, but it's a lot of misunderstanding. Just speaking of words.

[B]

Just something to think about for me. I've never done a Facebook ad, Instagram ad, a Twitter ad.

[A]

How would you know?

[C]

How are you teaching a social media.

[A]

Strategy without ever having done an ad on social media? They do work. That's. There's a reason why people spend billions of dollars on them every year.

[B]

I've never done any posting, promoting. I go out and I get it.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

I don't want to fall into that trap.

[A]

What trap? The trap of having more revenue in your pocket. I don't want to fall into the trap.

[B]

Does that mean I won't do it? No. I'm gonna eventually do it.

[A]

I'll eventually fall into the trap. I just don't want to fall into the trap.

[C]

I still don't get what his call to action is.

[A]

There is no call to action. He's saying that if someone.

[C]

That on his, his, on his website, on his post is call me.

[A]

If someone follows him and they like his post, he assumes that's an open invitation to go ahead and call them. But he's, he also is aware they're going to try and sell him their services. So he's got to be prepared. Again, it seems like a revenue neutral proposition that someone's going to try you sell you their services while you sell you your services. I don't get it. I. I wish there was just one bullet point that we could take away from here and say at least we got that out of it.

[B]

But guess what? Bottom line is I want to convert leads into sales.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Bottom line, I want to build my relationships.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

And by building the relationships and getting the right customer, they will help you establish a stronger following and a stronger audience.

[A]

Huh.

[B]

Does that make sense? That's the best word of mouth you could ever get. Which follow me so far. So something to think about. I hope this has been helpful to you and I really.

[A]

Not one bit that you take action.

[B]

On this before we leave again, I want every one of you being part of the martial arts of sales.

[A]

I didn't understand a fucking word. Oh my God. Damn it.

[C]

He's got heart.

[A]

He's got something. There's something there. There's some kind of je ne sais quoi. I can see how if you're, you.

[C]

Know, he's really trying to figure out the social media after he was, you know, in the phone book land before.

[A]

Way in the phone, smiling and dialing. Had a headset on smiling and dialing. Automatic dialing.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Drinking lots of coffee. Coffees for closers kind of situation. When Raphael and I started the search engine optimization company, we were desperately looking for, you know, customers. Yeah, I could see this guy coming in and we would probably hire him. He would work for free and just cold call.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? Kind of kill what you eat type of thing. But it is fun, funny. I forget that. It's so funny. Oh, this is the pit of cold calling. It's very real. There's not a lot of extra mustard on the hot dog. There's no tracheotomy. All right, just one more day. To Pre order your TCB merch. Shop tcbpodcast.com Shop tcbpodcast.com Go pre order that merch. Hoodies, T shirts, shirts, university sweaters, ball caps, and you get a free exclusive TCB sticker with every single purchase. We're excited to send that stuff out to you. So please do us a favor. If you can support the show in that way, we'd just be delighted. And make sure you text us. 212-4333 TCB 212-433-3822. Let us know if you pre ordered the merch. We'd love to hear it. Also. Questions, comments, comments, concerns, content, ideas. We take them all via text message or voicemail. Add the commercial break on Instagram. Get into our web of. Fall into the trap of our social.

[C]

We're gonna be calling you.

[A]

Oh, definitely. That's our new social media strategy. All 9,000 of you. We're just gonna start calling. So I said at the commercial break on Instagram. Oh, YouTube.com the commercial break for all the episodes on video the same day. They are here on the audio. And of course you can go to the website tcb podcast.com links to the shop in case you want to do it that way. The audio, the video, and your free sticker. Not the same one you'll get with the with the merch, but a different one. All right, Chrissy. I guess that's all I can do for now.

[C]

I think so.

[A]

Tell you that I love you.

[C]

I love you.

[A]

Best to you.

[C]

Best to you.

[A]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, son. Christy and I will say, we do say, and we must say good goodbye this season. Let your shoes do the talking. Designer shoe warehouse is packed with fresh styles that speak to your whole vibe without saying a word from cool sneakers that look good with everything. The easy sandals you'll want to wear on repeat. DSW has you covered. Find a shoe for every you from the brands you love like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas, New Balance and more. Head to your DSW store or visit dsw.com today.

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I get ass. This episode is brought to you by FX's Alien Earth, the official podcast. Each week, host Adam Rogers is joined by guests, including the show's creator, cast and crew. In this exclusive companion podcast. They will explore story elements, deep dive into character motivations, and offer an episode by episode behind the scenes breakdown of each terrifying chapter in this new series. Search FX's alien Earth wherever you listen to podcasts. Want to live better? We got a lot of work to do. Join Chris Hemsworth in National Geographic's new Disney plus original series, Limitless Live Better Now. I'm diving head first into cutting edge science to uncover three powerful secrets to.

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The growth that occurs through any challenging experience is really what we see. Chris Hemsworth stars in Limitless Live Better Now. Now streaming on Disney plus and Hulu, it's showtime.