Same Night Lay!

Summary

The Commercial Break – "Same Night Lay!" (Jan 17, 2024)

Hosts: Bryan Green, Krissy Hoadley
Guest/Third Mic: Rudolph St. James

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Overview

In this episode of "The Commercial Break," Bryan, Krissy, and the ever-sardonic Rudolph St. James riff their way through chaotic banter about pop culture, podcasting inside jokes, the endless evolution of their outro catchphrases, and revisit the absurd world of pickup artists—focusing on the notorious Adam "the Liar" Lyons. Throughout, the trio blends nostalgia, relentless self-deprecation, and biting improv, offering listeners a window into their friendship and the deliberately shambolic world of TCB.

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Episode Highlights & Key Discussion Points

1. Parenting Woes and Snack Time ([01:07] – [02:43])

• Bryan complains about his kids' erratic nap schedules, revealing genuine dad fatigue and how the only one who can get his daughter to sleep is himself.
  • “The only person she will sleep with is me… if she doesn’t get put to bed by me, it’s not happening.” (Bryan, [01:48])
• Krissy teases that’s where Bryan should get his sleep, but Bryan laments his daughter just wants to play instead.

2. Star Wars Tangents and Pop Culture Recaps ([02:43] – [06:48])

• The crew discusses the marketing ploys in Star Wars (Ewoks, Jar Jar Binks), the confusing chronology, and franchise fatigue.
  • “Star Wars was over at that point. Jar Jar Binks.” (Bryan, [03:44])
• Bryan and Krissy joke about their personal fandoms and how everything old is new again—hoping the same for their own show.

3. YouTube Woes & Comment Comedy ([07:19] – [09:08])

• Krissy finds their podcast flagged as violent/inappropriate on YouTube: “The first thing that pulls up is commercial break…it said ‘violent and inappropriate.’” ([07:41])
• The hosts riff about spam collaboration offers and the idea of "queef jewelry" co-branding.
  • “We have the best queef-themed jewelry in town.” (Bryan, [09:08])
  • “But it’s a guaranteed genuine queef!” (Rudolph, [09:25])

4. Celebrities, Guests, and Low View Counts ([10:25] – [11:21])

• Discussion about how even prominent personalities like Heather McMahon struggle for YouTube views despite being on national television.
  • “She can’t get 300 people to watch that good video. It’s unbelievable.” (Bryan, [10:43])
• The gang self-deprecatingly contrasts their guest pool and audience size.

5. Podcast Branding & The Great “Goodbye” Debate ([18:31] – [25:44])

• Reveal that their intended T-shirt slogan (“byee”) is already used by the ‘SmartLess’ podcast, leading to ideas for new outro catchphrases.
  • “We can’t have a ‘bye’ war with SmartLess.” (Bryan, [20:15])
  • Long improvisational run on alternative sign-off phrases (ciao, cheerio, references to show bits, “now get,” etc.).
• Meta-conversation about their history of outros: from “Happy New Year” year-round, to “best to you”—detailing audience feedback and running gags.
  • “We got complaints about that right off the beginning…” (Bryan, [27:03])
  • “Good joke for two episodes. Then could you leave it? No. We went on for 200 episodes with that…” ([27:08])

6. Early Studio Memories & Old Episodes ([25:44] – [33:48])

• The duo recalls humble beginnings with cardboard box setups and lost episodes.
  • “The entire studio is held up by cardboard boxes.” (Bryan, [25:56])
• Astrid (Bryan’s wife) advertises the show to her entire Venezuelan family, leading to a baffling Venezuela spike in downloads.

7. Pickup Artists, Adam “the Liar” Lyons & SNL (Same Night Lay) ([35:40] – [55:40])

• The main “infomercial” deep dive: Listeners are given a sarcastic play-by-play as the group watches Adam Lyons deliver a talk at the “21 Convention,” parodying pickup artist (PUA) culture.
• Adam’s talk includes:
  • “Closing” – the importance of “sealing the deal,” which Adam claims with signature bravado and dubious stories.
  • Outlandish, graphic tales about sexual exploits supposedly demonstrating his PUA mastery, which the hosts mercilessly lampoon.
• Memorable moment as Adam boasts about “same night lay”—TCB instantly co-opts this phrase as an ironic podcast outro.
  • “He snapped his finger. She was ready for the same night lay.” (Chrissy & Rudolph, [47:11])
  • “Boom, gamed her, brought her the house. Bam. Gave her $1,000.” (Rudolph, [47:16])
• The hosts express both disgust and fascination with Adam’s chauvinism and implausible stories.
  • “Could you treat women with a little bit of respect while you’re talking about them? Just a little.” (Bryan, [52:55])
  • “I honestly hate this guy more than I hate any of the other PUAs that we do.” (Bryan, [54:49])

8. Deconstruction of the Pickup Artist Convention Scene ([41:20] – [57:36])

• The gang highlights the absurdity of an entire convention dedicated to pickup artistry, poking fun at its jargon ("cereal openers," “AA”—approach anxiety?).
  • “You basically, you irritated a thousand women. That’s what you did.” (Adam the Liar, [41:58]; quoted approvingly/mocked by TCB.)
• They joke about the insular, competitive, and somewhat toxic nature of the PUA “community.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On YouTube Struggles:
  “I am on top of trends. I was only 17 years late to the YouTube game.”
  – Bryan ([08:25])

• On Outro Fatigue:
  “Yes, we did… just spent 15 minutes talking about what they’re gonna say at the end of the show.”
  – Bryan ([25:13])

• On Improvised Podcasting:
  “We are literally a pocket rocket to the moon with that. YouTube didn’t take off quite like I had anticipated.”
  – Bryan ([08:15])

• On Pickup Artists:
  “Did you see my chlamydia-filled tongue all over that woman’s mouth? Did you see that? That is how you do it. Now get in there, champ.”
  – Rudolph (parodying Adam Lyons, [43:14])

• On Adam’s Outlandishness:
  “This story gets more fantastical. I’m not sure which is more believable, Jar Jar Binks or Adam’s story about squirting all over his flatmate’s bed.”
  – Bryan ([50:48])

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

• Bryan’s Dad Life & Nap Schedule: [01:07]–[02:43]
• Star Wars/Ewoks & Jar Jar Binks Rant: [02:43]–[06:48]; [05:19] (“It was a baby!”)
• YouTube and Queef Jewelry Bit: [07:19]–[09:53]
• TCB Sign-Off Brainstorm / “Bye” Bit: [18:31]–[25:31]
• TCB’s Studio Syndrome & Lost Episodes: [25:44]–[33:48]
• Adam the Liar at the 21 Convention: [35:40]–[55:40]
  • Adam begins presenting: [37:31]
  • The group’s commentary on PUA jargon: [41:20]
  • “Same Night Lay!” section: [47:01] (“She was ready for a same night lay.”)
  • Graphic “closing hazards” anecdote: [48:04]–[53:30]
• Final Reflections / Outro Evolutions: [55:40]–[59:28]

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Tone and Style

Irreverent, self-deprecating, and chaotic, the hosts liberally embrace improv and meta-humor. No subject—whether their own podcasting missteps, industry trends, or the delusions of PUA “gurus”—is off-limits, making for an intentionally “unpolished” but highly engaging slice of TCB’s signature style.

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For New Listeners

If you haven’t heard TCB before, this episode encapsulates its “Cheesecake Factory of comedy podcasts” vibe: quick-jumping between pop culture, inside jokes, and off-color monologues. While the structure is loose, the spirit is infectious—perfect if you like to feel like you’re eavesdropping on longtime friends who refuse to take anything (especially themselves) too seriously.

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Catchphrase in Progress: “Same Night Lay!” … or maybe just “Now get.”

Transcript

[Brian Green]

I don't drink anymore.

[Chrissy]

I know they don't force it on you.

[Rudolph St. James]

I do drink wine.

[Chrissy]

Did you eat at the grocery store?

[Brian Green]

So it's nutritional, right?

[Announcer]

Good, good, good.

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the commercial break, boom.

[Chrissy]

He snapped his finger. She was ready for the same night lay.

[Rudolph St. James]

Boom.

[Chrissy]

Gamed her, brought her the house. Bam.

[Rudolph St. James]

Gave her a thousand dollars. Vova opened. Good night. Gave a thousand dollars to the security personnel with her.

[Brian Green]

Boom.

[Rudolph St. James]

Done. Danger.

[Brian Green]

Same night, same night. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Rudolph St. James]

Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the beautiful co host of the commercial break, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Grizz, and best of you out there in the podcast universe.

[Brian Green]

Chrissy and I are here doing a whole show. Like, we're suffering for content, right? We're just dying for content. Please, somebody send us an idea. We're dying to fill 75, 000 hours of the show every month. And we've got. We're sitting here for 45 minutes doing a whole episode. So I'm like, we should probably press the record button now. Of course, we saved the best stuff for off air, but I was in the middle of my snacky time with my toy story shortbread cookies. Yes. My Toy story shortbread cookies. It's snack time, and then I want a nap. I wish it was nap time. Those kids don't let me sleep anymore. It's just. It's kind of miserable, actually. Yeah. Because now that we have so many of them, none of them are on the same nap schedule, so it. Forget it. It's just all over.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And now the best sleeper in the house, the one that I had licked, the one that was just came out of the womb, Sleep at, like, the one that was, like, awesome. You just rocked her for a few seconds and put her right down. Now she refuses to go to sleep. It's as if she has, like, she's been filled with amphetamines, and she will not sleep under any condition. And the only person that she will sleep with is me. So every time she needs to take a nap or go to bed, I have to be the one to do it, because if she doesn't get put to bed by me, it's not happening.

[Chrissy]

Well, then that's where you get your sleep.

[Brian Green]

Well, that's what I should do. But now. But she just wants to play with me, right? So now, like, I'm like, okay, time to go to sleep. Feed her a bottle. Okay. Time to go to sleep. And he's like, I tried to record her the other day because she's got this cutest little thing that she's doing. She's mimicking everybody talking, but she knows no words, right? Except for Dada and Mama and stuff like that. So she's like. She's talking to herself, having a whole conversation.

[Chrissy]

What were those things from Star Wars? The little.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, yeah, Ewoks.

[Rudolph St. James]

That was like.

[Chrissy]

Those things are so cute.

[Brian Green]

It was the only movie upon which some. You know how, like in a lot of sitcoms back in the 80s and 90s, when after the third season and things got kind of a little bit stale, they would throw in a kid or throw in a new character.

[Rudolph St. James]

What's up with that? What's up with kids? They come out wanting more food, all over the place, spending all my money. What's up with kids?

[Chrissy]

I'm about.

[Brian Green]

So those Ewoks, they. They threw those in there. You know, it's like, okay, let's throw something cute in for the kids in the forest.

[Chrissy]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Obviously, a ploy to make more toys is really what that was, because now we can make these cute stuffed animals and all this other. It was the only situation, only movie that I can think of where they did that. And it actually worked out to their favor because in the fourth episode, whatever, the sixth episode, the third episode behind, minus three, plus two.

[Chrissy]

I know.

[Brian Green]

I don't know. Yeah, I just. They put Jar Jar goddamn Binks in the movie and ruined it for everybody. That's it. Game over. Star wars was over at that point. Jar Jar Binks.

[Chrissy]

I watched Revenge of the Sith.

[Rudolph St. James]

Did you?

[Brian Green]

I don't even remember that one. So many of them. I don't even remember. I remember the first one and the second one.

[Chrissy]

Like the true third.

[Brian Green]

Okay. The true third. Which was the real sixth.

[Chrissy]

Which was the six. Yes. In real time, it was the sixth.

[Brian Green]

And then the Chronicle is in the third. Yes, yes. I was talking to a Star wars head. Like, someone. You know, whatever they call it. What do they call it? I don't know. SDS or something like that. I was talking to one of them, and I referred to one of the movies, and he was like, that's the third. I think I was on that Jeff Din show, that Crossing the Streams or whatever. It was, like, where they talk about movies and television. Somebody was like, that's the thing. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't have enough time in my life to worry about which episode Is actually numbered incorrectly. Yeah.

[Chrissy]

After those.

[Brian Green]

After the.

[Chrissy]

There's the first three that came out, which actually turned out to be 4, 5, 6. And then the other three came out, which were the 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, and 3.

[Brian Green]

Like Clone Wars.

[Chrissy]

I can't remember.

[Brian Green]

I don't even. Yeah. I don't remember. Last Jedi. Return of the Last Jedi. The last Jedi. Almost dead. Last Jedi Returns.

[Chrissy]

My sword.

[Rudolph St. James]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

This is a sword return.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, the sword returned. Lightsaber again. The last lightsaber. We had an extra lightsaber somewhere. Oh, this Jedi was just hiding. It was actually the last Jedi.

[Chrissy]

It was a baby.

[Rudolph St. James]

Yeah. Oh, look.

[Brian Green]

Jar Jar Binks is back.

[Chrissy]

Wait, and then the little mini Yoda is actually.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. The new. Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Is actually older than the.

[Brian Green]

The last Jedi. Reborn.

[Rudolph St. James]

Cute baby Jedi.

[Brian Green]

Throw him in a backpack and spin them around space.

[Chrissy]

It's so true.

[Brian Green]

It's.

[Rudolph St. James]

It's dumb. We're done. We're done.

[Brian Green]

I read an article. I love Star Wars.

[Chrissy]

I know.

[Brian Green]

I love it so much. I'm not like. I don't characters in my house. You know what I'm saying? I'm not that in love with it. Only Dick Tracy got me to that point. Only the critically acclaimed and universally panned movie Dick Tracy starring Madonna, Warren Beatty got my attention in that manner. I was right on top of the trends. I always have been.

[Chrissy]

You heard it here last.

[Brian Green]

I'm like a pop culture soothsayer when I say it. It's about to become popular. Hey, have you heard of my Seven Little Johnstons? It's a great show.

[Chrissy]

13Th season.

[Brian Green]

I know it's in his 13th season. I'm the only one who watches it. They're making that show just for me. I'm sure of it. I swear to God, I would have any of those Seven Little Johnstons on this show right now, today. So I'm not that kind of guy. I love Star wars, but I read an article, and the guy was so right. It's time to put Star wars away. Just put it away before it gets ruined. For it might be ruined forever.

[Chrissy]

At least put it away for a while.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

And then bring it back. Like you're bringing back the.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

Ten years from now.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Return of the Star.

[Brian Green]

Exactly. You know, for a long time, no one was asking for the Poison reunion. You know what I'm saying? Like, no one asked for the reunion tour.

[Chrissy]

Give it a little time.

[Brian Green]

Give it a little time, and it comes back. It's like anything. Everything old becomes new again.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I'm hoping That same thing happens with this show. But. But if we keep making episodes, no one's gonna give a shit.

[Chrissy]

Just like our YouTube channel.

[Rudolph St. James]

Oh, my God.

[Chrissy]

Well, because it got brought up. I was looking for. I went to YouTube this morning to look for the New York Times cooking channel I have subscribed to. And they had this really good thing about cooking eggs and different ways to cook eggs. It was great.

[Brian Green]

Commercial break. New York Times right next to each other.

[Chrissy]

So I went on there, and the first thing that pulls up is commercial break. When I go YouTube and it said violent and inappropriate. I was like, oh, Brian know about that?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we gotta tell him about that. That's why that YouTube is miserable.

[Chrissy]

But then you explained to me that it was.

[Brian Green]

It was just a clip in the show. Yeah, it was dictated. It was dictating what was being said on the show. But I swear to God, YouTube is black.

[Chrissy]

But then I looked at our views and now follows suit. We had two views from, like, three weeks ago.

[Brian Green]

We are literally a pocket rocket to the moon with that. YouTube didn't take off quite like I had anticipated.

[Chrissy]

Well, you are on top of trends.

[Brian Green]

I am on top of trends. I was only 17 years late to the YouTube game. We started it in episode number 400. Hope that everybody would jump on board. I just swear to God, I don't even know why we do this stupid YouTube show. Because the only thing we get out of it is comments that are terrible for us but kind of funny at the same time. That's the only thing that happens.

[Chrissy]

Make a thousand dollars. Would you like to make a thousand dollars?

[Rudolph St. James]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Make $1,000 a week. I would like to make $1,000 a week. Is it possible to do that on the show? Would you like to partner with bequeath jewelry? With queef jewelry. We have the best queef themed jewelry in town.

[Chrissy]

Let's do a co brand.

[Brian Green]

I know we do a lot of those. We get a lot of those, you know, queef jewelry. Like queef jewelry. What are you talking about? We'll give you two free bracelets.

[Rudolph St. James]

Oh, will you let me send those.

[Brian Green]

Off to Georgia Power?

[Chrissy]

But it's queef.

[Rudolph St. James]

But it's queef.

[Chrissy]

It's a guaranteed queef. It's a guaranteed genuine queef.

[Brian Green]

It's a genuine queef. This comes from the queef rock where the ancient women sat on the rocks.

[Chrissy]

It was featured in Star Wars.

[Brian Green]

Yes, I bequeath my queef to you. Yes, it's the new character in Star wars, the queef bot.

[Rudolph St. James]

Far, far away in a Galaxy. A long time ago, someone queefed.

[Brian Green]

From.

[Rudolph St. James]

That rose, from that arose Queen Queefatia, the queen of Queefs. I shall queef on you now. For a limited time, Queef Jewelry Incorporated brings you Queef the Star wars edition.

[Brian Green]

Oh my God. So stupid. Heather McMahon is right. She's. You were telling me. She said, I don't even know why I get dressed up for using.

[Chrissy]

She's like, I put on the eyelashes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

I do my hair, do the whole thing.

[Rudolph St. James]

I get no views.

[Brian Green]

I get no views. The girl is the co anchor of Good Morning America sometimes, isn't she? Or the Today show or whatever it is.

[Rudolph St. James]

And she can't get 300 people to.

[Brian Green]

Watch that good video. It's unbelievable. She gets better guess than we do too. I gotta call her up.

[Chrissy]

I think she's, she just said she just talked with Jane Fonda.

[Rudolph St. James]

She did?

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Why isn't Jane Fonda coming on this show? Probably because I just did a whole bit about Queen Quatia.

[Chrissy]

Probably that might be one of the reasons.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I don't think that's pushing any of Jane Fonda's agendas any further. You know what I'm saying? You don't think a class act like Jane Fonda would come on the show? No, I don't. But we did get Heather, which is, she's super funny.

[Chrissy]

We love her.

[Brian Green]

Blair Saki is so, so wonderful. I just got to say that. Blair Saki is, I love her too.

[Chrissy]

All of our guests have been fantastic, awesome.

[Brian Green]

And just yesterday we broadcast. Oh my God, it's like it's pouring, pouring rain.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. There's some bad weather today in Atlanta.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So if a tornado comes and takes us away.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Brian Green]

Please. Yeah, thank you. First of all, the insurance will pay for the house and I can finally go get some rest. I can go get a nap. But hold on, I'm going to hold on tight to my Toy Story shortbread cookies because I'm hungry. But if, you know, if I should go, just please do me a favor. Take my Queefa Tia straight to Bob Iger at Disney. Make sure he makes that movie.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, it's, it's. You put it into the uniform universe.

[Brian Green]

Oh my God, Chrissy, I, I, I was sharing this with you a little bit, but I go to the, I go yesterday and I get on this phone call, like this zoom phone call, this important zoom phone call regarding it.

[Chrissy]

While you were out somewhere else.

[Brian Green]

I was out somewhere else.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. You could do it from, from the good lighting and the good Angles of your computer.

[Brian Green]

I did do a conference call on Monday with the whole setup because the computer was running a, like, updating or running a program or something. So I'm like, oh, I guess I just got to do it like this, like we do on the YouTube channel. I actually got more views on that zoom phone call on any of our videos. So I'm taking. I got this zoom phone call, and I'm in the studio like this, and I look like a total fucking douchebag because, I mean, what asshole takes a phone call about the commercial break from the commercial break studio?

[Chrissy]

Let me pat you into the studio.

[Brian Green]

Let me pat you into the studio.

[Rudolph St. James]

I think we're not going to use that third segment. There's a lot of violent and inappropriate language.

[Brian Green]

Thank you. Who is that?

[Rudolph St. James]

I'm your new producer, Rudolph St. James. Okay, Rudolph.

[Brian Green]

Well, listen, we. Can we just do the show on.

[Rudolph St. James]

Our own, if you don't mind.

[Brian Green]

We don't need any help accordingly. You do. You do need my help.

[Rudolph St. James]

I've been told, from the top down.

[Brian Green]

Every step of the way.

[Rudolph St. James]

Help the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

Okay, well, let us know when you want to chime in. Thanks.

[Rudolph St. James]

Let's cut out the first 327 episodes. 328 was.

[Brian Green]

Okay, we're back up from there. So I go on this. This phone call. I'm out somewhere else at. At another house at a different location. And of course, I have to take it from my phone. So I lay my phone down sideways. I've got one of those, like, little holders that can hold it, because there is. I don't have a phone holder or anything. And I don't want to make people sick, you know, going like this whole thing.

[Chrissy]

All of a sudden you're turning, like, to the.

[Brian Green]

Yes, yes. And I'm a walker, and I always walk and talk. So if I want to keep myself still, I have to lay the phone down so I don't move, Right. So here I am. I'm just getting over this bullshit that's been going around the house. And so I've got. The phone is tilted up in this direction straight into my nostrils like this. And I.

[Chrissy]

It's always a good.

[Brian Green]

Because I'm getting over this thing. My nose, all of a sudden, of course, at the appropriate time, starts flooding my upper lip with snot. Clear snot.

[Chrissy]

Glistening.

[Brian Green]

Yes, it's glistening. It's water. It's coming down. I'm like a little child. Like, I'm taking my arm and I'm just trying to wipe it on my sleeve. And then I'm like, let me just press pause on the camera while someone else is talking so they don't see this. And then I think to myself, and then I could see other people in the con. They're in a conference room on the other side. I can see them kind of like tilting their head a little bit. And I. Then it hit me. They think I'm doing blood.

[Rudolph St. James]

They think I'm doing cocaine.

[Brian Green]

I keep getting off and on the camera, they think I'm going to do a line. I could just hear them after the conference. Was he doing blow? Are we getting in bed with a guy who's in the cokehead?

[Rudolph St. James]

Is that what's going on?

[Chrissy]

That's creative.

[Brian Green]

You know those creative types.

[Rudolph St. James]

We've been asked to stop the cocaine use.

[Brian Green]

Thanks, Rudolph. Not a problem, Rudolph. Rudolph St. James, our new producer.

[Rudolph St. James]

Cheerio, Cheerio.

[Brian Green]

If we could keep the cussing down to a minimum, we'd appreciate it. Go fuck yourself. This show is a hot mess from beginning to end. I don't know how we even have any listeners.

[Chrissy]

Speaking of Cheerio, that leads us maybe to what we'll be talking about later.

[Brian Green]

We'll talk about it later. We'll get. We'll get to the Cheerio later. But let's take a short break so that you know, if there happens to be anybody who wants to pay money to be on this dumb shithead show, they can go ahead and put their inserts in. Now. Please listen to our advertisers. We'll be back.

[Rudolph St. James]

Beep.

[Announcer]

Are you mindlessly scrolling Instagram right now? How about throwing us a follow hecommercial break and also CB podcast on TikTok. Check out our website tcbpodcast.com to find absolutely everything you could ever want to know about us. And if you simply can't stay away, call us and leave us a voicemail at 626-AskTCB3 or you can text us at 855-TCB8383. While you're contemplating divulging your life dramas to us, have a listen to our sponsors. You know you love me. X.O.X.O. gossip Girl.

[Brian Green]

Hey, everybody.

[Sponsor Representative]

Wanted to let you know that this episode is sponsored in part by Factor.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

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[Brian Green]

Hey, look at that.

[Sponsor Representative]

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[Rudolph St. James]

Oh, and we're back.

[Brian Green]

We're in a giggly laughing mood today, as if that's any different from any other show. But so yes, let's talk about this. Yeah, I just learned last night we're doing like, this is crazy. I can't believe, I mean, listen, this is actually not crazy. I we're doing a rebrand of the COVID and the podcast and change, making some changes on the website. So Astrid's out there designing stuff and guess what? We're thinking about, thinking about doing some merch, right? Oh. So we're going back and we're thinking about wise ideas that we can use for the T shirts and we're creating them. And one of the ideas that I think it was Gustavo had was let's do a shirt with best you on the front and bay on the back right by. And so Astrid's googling around to look for good font for buyee and she sees a cool font and she clicks on it and it's the smartless website. They are selling a T shirt byee. And I'm like, those stole our thing. And Astrid's like, it's a word that you say pretty commonly like buy like. I mean it's not something they stole. It's a pretty common word. What? I did not Realize.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, they've been doing it.

[Brian Green]

Why didn't you tell me this?

[Chrissy]

I thought you knew.

[Brian Green]

We're 560 hours into this program making.

[Chrissy]

It different because we said good goodbye.

[Brian Green]

Oh. I just thought that we just made a change. I don't know. I don't know.

[Rudolph St. James]

I just was going. I thought you knew I was following you. I don't know.

[Brian Green]

You're the real leader on this show. I have no idea what's going on. Don't ask me to pay attention. I have listened to her on their show. I know. I know. We're on their show. And then. I'm sorry, guys. I had no idea. Actually, you started after us, so guess what? I'm sure they probably listened to episode five of the commercial break and went, that's a good idea. Let's use that. Bye. So stupid.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, it's kind of their thing.

[Brian Green]

It's kind of their thing. And because smartless gets, like, 20 million listeners an episode, and we get, like, 15 listeners an episode, I think we have to defer to them at this point. You know what I'm saying? We can't have a bi war with smartness. No, I mean, if Sean wants to come on and give us permission, then that's okay. If Sean gives us permission. Because he's the one that, like, does it, isn't he? I've listened to so many Smartless episodes, but I've never made it all the way to the end.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I make it till the end. And so that's been their thing for a while. Yes.

[Rudolph St. James]

Well, holy shit.

[Chrissy]

Why didn't you try something? Well, they all kind of do it, but Sean's really gets into it, trying to figure out a way to incorporate the word by into the sentence, and then they all go, bye.

[Brian Green]

Okay, well, yeah, that's totally ridiculous. We can't do that anymore. We got to think of something else. I don't want to be a copycat. No, I do my best. And it's not hard, actually, because it's just the way my brain works. Anyway, I do my best to erase anything that I hear from the content of this show. You know what I'm saying? So if I'm in the car and Sirius is on and I'm on Conan or Howard or whatever, I do my best to eliminate whatever they're talking about from my head. So I'm not copying. Yeah, same goes for comedians. Like, I don't. Like, I don't want to. I do my best not to repeat jokes or anything like that. Listen, and at the End of the day, it's all derivative works. It's like a. It's like music. There's only four chords, and you just play those four chords in a different direction and then you make a song. Right. That's it. I don't want to be the guy who says bye all the time. Good.

[Chrissy]

Let's switch it up.

[Brian Green]

Let's switch it up.

[Chrissy]

Now we have to figure out what to do.

[Brian Green]

Well, I don't know. Astrid was like, we'll say adios. And I'm like, yeah, okay. Adios. That's kind of cool. Like, we could do adios or ciao, ciao bella.

[Chrissy]

Ciao bella.

[Brian Green]

Ciao bella. Isn't that. Yeah, Isn't that. I don't think they actually say that anymore, but cheerio. Cheerio.

[Chrissy]

Cheers.

[Brian Green]

What is this, Mary?

[Chrissy]

Overdone.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Cheers. Yeah, Cheers. It's overdone.

[Chrissy]

What about something from one of our show, like one of the TV shows that we've done?

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Is there like a Teresa Caputo or Mountain Monsters or.

[Brian Green]

I know. We could be like Dr. Niles Arden and be like, lose £50 in seven weeks and out of. See you back soon.

[Chrissy]

Want to make $1,000 a day?

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Rudolph St. James]

Want to make $1,000 a Day? Bye.

[Brian Green]

We could do Bygasm Basm.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Rudolph St. James]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

With the Smokey.

[Brian Green]

Well, I don't know.

[Chrissy]

That might get old after a while.

[Brian Green]

I think it's already old, to be honest. I listened to that song again yesterday after we got done with the show, and I thought to myself, this really is very poorly written and produced.

[Announcer]

Right.

[Chrissy]

Well, the music itself is good.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

It's the word.

[Brian Green]

It's. It's the word. And actually, this sounds exactly like another Smokey Robinson song, but we'll save that for a different episode. But I think he's using very similar music to other Smokey Robinson songs. It's all derivative, but then the way that the. The whole thing is written is so weird. It's like the rhymes don't happen at the right time. It's almost like he's three beats behind, and the producer is like, we only got. Wait, let me see if I can. Yeah, let me see if I can. We only have three hours in the studio today, Smokey, so I'm gonna need you to get all your gasms. Right? And Smokey's like, huh? Okay. Okay. We're gonna need to take that again, if you don't mind.

[Rudolph St. James]

Okay, that's great, Smokey. We're gonna use AI and fill in the rest, if that's okay.

[Announcer]

With you.

[Brian Green]

So maybe bygasm is not necessarily the right thing. Yeah, that would get old. What about. What's another one? We could say. Could we say I got it. What? I got it. Ready?

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Now let's do that. Best to you. Best of you. Best of you out there in the.

[Rudolph St. James]

Podcast now that's all you get.

[Brian Green]

Now I like it. I like it.

[Chrissy]

I don't think anybody else is using. Now get.

[Brian Green]

I don't think. Well, mountain monsters. But that's only when they're running from trouble. That's only when they're running from them.

[Chrissy]

Now get. Where are you?

[Rudolph St. James]

Now get.

[Brian Green]

Where are you? Come back. Hold on a second. Gotta get a real good picture. Then you get.

[Rudolph St. James]

Let me get a picture. Then get.

[Brian Green]

I like this one.

[Rudolph St. James]

That's all you get.

[Brian Green]

Now get. Then just leave. How about that? Okay. All right. Sean, are you happy? We. We changed it. As if Sean's listening.

[Chrissy]

I know, right?

[Brian Green]

I don't even think they listen when we paid them to listen.

[Chrissy]

No.

[Brian Green]

You know what I'm saying?

[Chrissy]

Nope.

[Rudolph St. James]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

Now get. Yeah, I had no idea. I didn't. I didn't want to be. But you know what I have hear on other shows before? This is. I have heard other people say bye and, like, with an affectation. And I always thought, well, you know, it's a pretty common word, but I use that. Yeah, let's use that. Let's copy them. Do you remember, I don't know when this was. This must have been. It seems like so many episodes ago. Probably was. Not so many.

[Chrissy]

What was the other one we used to do? Happy New Year.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God, Chris. Let me see if I can remember it. For those of you just tuning into the show or probably just thinking about tuning out of the show, like, these guys just spent 15 minutes talking about what they're gonna say at the end of the show. Yes, we did.

[Chrissy]

Now get.

[Brian Green]

Now get. That's all you get. Now get.

[Chrissy]

You remember, we've had a few different iterations throughout the years, but the beginning.

[Brian Green]

Of the show used to be Happy New Year. It used to be best to you. Best to you. Thanks for joining us. I can't even remember what it was.

[Chrissy]

Well, because we had a whole conversation. I remember in the other room, when we used to have the studio in the other room.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Remember that studio? Cardboard boxes holding up things.

[Brian Green]

The entire studio is held up by cardboard boxes.

[Chrissy]

There was tissue paper.

[Brian Green]

There was tissue paper over the lights or cardboard boxes holding up cameras. We had so many wires going everywhere. We only needed one of those wires.

[Rudolph St. James]

But I was too afraid to touch.

[Brian Green]

Any of the other wires because I'm not sure what they did, even though.

[Rudolph St. James]

I was the one who hooked them up.

[Brian Green]

I couldn't even remember.

[Chrissy]

We were having a whole conversation about how long. Which is kind of apropos for now, right now, because it's right after new year. But how long can you say happy New Year?

[Brian Green]

We said it for a year and a half.

[Chrissy]

So we just went ahead and said it.

[Brian Green]

I know. And then finally I was like, okay, enough. This is so stupid.

[Chrissy]

It took me a little while, too, to quit saying it.

[Brian Green]

I know, Me too. Because it took me a little while to quit remember not to use that long winded introduction that I used to do. Also, thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this, the commercial break. It's not for everyone. Yeah, the only one you'll ever need. It's not for everyone. But fact, news or fiction is guaranteed in 15 minutes or less.

[Rudolph St. James]

Happy New Year.

[Brian Green]

So stupid.

[Chrissy]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

We got complaints about that right off the beginning. People were like, okay, Brian, got it. 10:40. Good joke.

[Chrissy]

Get to the meat.

[Brian Green]

Good joke for two episodes. Then could you leave it? No. We went on for 200 episodes with that. Like that. And on season number four, I said to myself, no more am I gonna say that. Long winded, winded introduction.

[Chrissy]

You finally changed it.

[Brian Green]

I finally changed. Old habits die hard. Because for the first couple of episodes of season number four, you can hear me trying to go into it, and then I stop myself. I'm like, you know, best of you, best of you, best of you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us.

[Rudolph St. James]

Hi, Brian, it's me, Rudolph St. James. Let's do a huge favor to everyone.

[Brian Green]

That might think about listening.

[Rudolph St. James]

Let's stop the verbal diarrhea right at.

[Brian Green]

The beginning of the show.

[Rudolph St. James]

And while we're at it, could you take it from an 11 down to a 4?

[Brian Green]

People are trying to drive.

[Chrissy]

Well, you're just. You're just like the mountain monsters guy.

[Rudolph St. James]

He tried to go over there and walk.

[Brian Green]

Hey.

[Rudolph St. James]

He went over there to walk. And then he took another thing. I just made a boo boo in my face.

[Chrissy]

He just constantly yells.

[Rudolph St. James]

He just yells.

[Brian Green]

But then he's in other scenes where he's talking normally, it's like, why are you yelling?

[Chrissy]

It's only when he's talking to the camera.

[Brian Green]

I know, it's psychological. Like, I think what I also realize about this show, after, for various different reasons, I've had to go back and listen to many of Our old episodes, we'll get into that a different week. But the reason why we kept the. If you go back and listen to the first couple of episodes of the show, we are very low key. Like, we're actually. I start the show and we're already talking. That was another one of my innovations that I thought was so cool. Let's record the show, but I'll start. Let's record the show, but I'll edit it in a way where we start in the middle of a conversation. So, like, the first six episodes of the show, you are jumping into a conversation where there's no context. Chrissy and I are literally already talking, talking, but we're talking low key. I know.

[Rudolph St. James]

What's up with that? Why would people want to listen to a half of a conversation? What's up with that? Why not let us in on the whole thing?

[Brian Green]

So here's an example of one of the first episodes of the show so you don't have to suffer through the entire thing. Ready? Here's an example. Yeah. So I went and I got a COVID test today, you know, just to make sure that, you know, keep the family, stuff like that. And, you know, I want to make sure everyone's safe. And it's kind of weird, all this lockdown stuff. And. But that would be the beginning of the conversation. And then I would start the show with, yeah, so, you know, it came up negative and everything.

[Rudolph St. James]

That's right.

[Chrissy]

Like, we were bursting in on.

[Brian Green]

We were bursting in on the music, on the conversation. But I also used to have an intro where it said, hi, I'm Brian Green. I'm a father, a son, a pragmatic pragmatist, pretty bad lover, mediocre podcaster.

[Chrissy]

We should play that at some point.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I don't even know if I want people to know what happened back then. Half of me really wants to take the first 300 episodes of the show and throw it out the null door. Throw it out the door. You know, they say it takes 10,000 repetitions before you become an expert at something. 10,000 repetitions.

[Chrissy]

So we've got reputations.

[Brian Green]

I just said we've got that to look forward to. Well, I think we're getting close to 10,000. Only 480 of them are on the actual RSS feed, but I'm pretty sure we're close to 10,000.

[Chrissy]

All the ones that didn't actually make it to people's ears.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You know, we try our best, but at the end of the day, the thing about things happen. Yeah.

[Rudolph St. James]

And the thing about whole shows happen.

[Chrissy]

That you never recorded.

[Brian Green]

That's the part that kills me. That's the part that kills me about my particular. Our particular, you know, walk along the podcast. Amongst a lot of other things that have almost killed us. What kills me is the fact that there are episodes. And I'm not talking one or two, probably 15 or 16 episodes, at least. At least that we did the entire hour. 45 minutes to an hour. We did the entire 45 minutes to an hour, and it never got recorded. That part irks me to no end. When I listen to old episodes, I'm like, man, I wish we had gotten those ones.

[Chrissy]

I remember driving away sometimes I'd get a call, well, yeah, that one didn't record.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that one.

[Chrissy]

We're gonna need to record it.

[Brian Green]

About that hour you drove here, the three hours you spent here while I fix the wires in the studio, and that additional hour we were supposed to be recording about that. You don't mind turning around? I know it's 10:30 at night, but you don't mind turning around and doing another episode, do you?

[Chrissy]

We'll just try and recreate it.

[Rudolph St. James]

I know.

[Brian Green]

And every time that I did an episode that did not record, I fretted so bad. I had so much anxiety about walking into that bedroom late at night and telling Astrid I was gonna have to be up for another three hours because we had to record it. Because you don't understand there. Even though this is her idea, she's always been supportive. She works for the freaking show. She's like, yes. Part of the reason why we're even still here is because Astro's the core. But she would be like, do you.

[Rudolph St. James]

Really need to record another one? Does anyone really care? Can't you just run an old one?

[Brian Green]

We're on episode number three. Exactly.

[Rudolph St. James]

No one gives a shit.

[Brian Green]

Right?

[Chrissy]

Right.

[Rudolph St. James]

The only people listening are Venezuelans.

[Chrissy]

But her mom told Everybody, everybody on.

[Brian Green]

LinkedIn that we were doing the show. Her entire professional network work. Yes. Right about the time she started having trouble getting new clients. So you're not going to know the story, but at the beginning of the show, maybe episode three or four, Astrid was so proud that we were doing this, and Chrissy and I were just. Didn't even know what to think. We were kind of embarrassed. Hiding in a hole. We posted one thing on Facebook and that was it. We didn't post anything again on Facebook ever. By the way, go to our Facebook page. Page. But Astrid was so proud that she told her whole family. And a Venezuelan family is like 500 people deep.

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

And then her mom was so proud that we were doing this podcast. She doesn't speak great English.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So she doesn't understand a lot of what we're saying on the commercial break. But her mom was so proud, just so proud that her son in law was just doing this thing right out there in the world.

[Chrissy]

Following your dreams.

[Brian Green]

Following your dreams. Following my dreams. Right into the nightmare hole. Yes. And by following my dreams, we following my diary. She was so proud of us doing this show. Sweet. It is so sweet that she posted it on LinkedIn to all 700 of her contacts. This is my son in law doing this show. And we started getting a ton of listens from Venezuela, but I'm pretty sure that most of them did not tune in for a second episode. But for that one week, we got a ton of downloads from Venezuela.

[Chrissy]

And then they realized what we were talking about.

[Brian Green]

And then they realized that we were just a couple of gringo shitheads with nothing funny to say. So don't worry, everybody out there in the podcast universe, you're in good company. The Venezuelans also think we're a bunch of bullshit too. The other Venezuelans think we're as unfunny as Corey is bad at singing. Also. I'll never forget that one. That one's gonna stick in my head forever.

[Chrissy]

That was a good one.

[Brian Green]

All right, let's take a. When we get back, I have something very good for you, Chrissy. Something you're gonna like. Something. We're dancing into season number five with all of our old favorites.

[Chrissy]

We've gone with a cane.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Dancing.

[Brian Green]

I know.

[Chrissy]

Look over here.

[Rudolph St. James]

Look over here.

[Brian Green]

There he goes. Where'd he go now? Get. What do we got back? I. We've done Frankie. We've gotten mountain monsters. I'm getting. I got a Teresa lined up for you. Don't worry. But before we get to all that, we got to get to Adam Lyons, the liar. We're gonna go way back. We gotta go way back to his heyday when he was the number one PUA in the world or so. His YouTube channel. Okay, we'll take a break and we'll be back. Ugh.

[Chrissy]

Finally.

[Announcer]

I feel like I was waiting forever for my turn to talk. Now that I have you, go to tcbpodcast.com to find all of our audio and video content and follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok. CBpodcast. Want it to be your turn to talk. Call us and spill the tea at six two, six, askTCB three. And you may hear your voice on the show. You can also text us your tea at 855-TCB8383. And boy, do we love to hear it. Anyway, take a listen to our sponsors and let's get back to the show.

[Brian Green]

All right, so we've been doing all of our favorites, right? We've been in all of the favorites and now we're going to do some Adam the Liar. Adam the liar is a famous or infamous PUA pickup artist who has done many things throughout his YouTube career. He has not only been a pickup artist, isn't he like a business professional and a marketing expert?

[Chrissy]

All this other stuff did like an mlm.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Now he's like, isn't he like he's got four wives and two of them are pregnant or something like that? Yeah, he's a polygamist.

[Chrissy]

Our old favorite show.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. ITV this morning. They're no longer. Those two people are no longer in there. I hate. I mean, I understand why.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But I. I liked them. I liked them until I found out he was having sex with his young co workers. And then I thought, well, maybe not so great. So Adam the lie as a part of season number for the beginning of season number five, we're visiting our old favorites. Get it out of our system. Our old friends. Get it out of our system. Now here is Adam the lie. We're going back to 2009. Chrissy, long time ago, when Adam claims himself that he was the number one.

[Chrissy]

Well, why would you believe him?

[Brian Green]

Because we call him Adam the liar. Yes. He's got it in his name. All right, here's Adam at the 21 Convention.

[Rudolph St. James]

I don't know.

[Chrissy]

We don't know what 21 Convention means.

[Rudolph St. James]

I don't know what that means either.

[Brian Green]

But I can only imagine the scene around that hotel. Everyone peacocking around and, you know, using.

[Chrissy]

Their pickup lines, cornering women. Don't let her get away.

[Rudolph St. James]

Don't let her get away.

[Brian Green]

Hold your hand up against the wall. All the ticks, tips and tricks that all these guys use, Adam is going to spout them off. He's going to talk about his two favorite things to talk about. He'll get into it. I'll let him get into it. But without further ado, I was trolling on the Internet as you do, as I do do. Let's see if we can not fire off apple music this time and listen to Adam. Here we go.

[Adam the Liar]

Like I said during the talk, I want to take you guys through two Topics that I'm kind of in love with at the moment that I want to teach. And the first of these topics is the one I'm going to start with, which is closing.

[Brian Green]

Closing. I'm going to start with the end. So you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about.

[Rudolph St. James]

I'm going to go in chronological order and start at the closing.

[Chrissy]

Two topics. First. Closing.

[Rudolph St. James]

Yeah, first.

[Brian Green]

Closing. Second. Hair dye.

[Rudolph St. James]

We're going to get into hair dye. Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

Adam. First of all, he's. He's fit. Look at him. He's really skinny. Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. He's got his white shirt button down, shirt unbuttoned.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

The sternum.

[Brian Green]

I have this rule. Never go more than two buttons down.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, it looks a little weird.

[Brian Green]

He was going, like, three or four buttons down. It does look a little weird.

[Chrissy]

Doesn't have a gold chain, but it could be.

[Brian Green]

That could be a good accent for him. And then his hair is jet black, except for the very top of his little pompadour is bright red.

[Chrissy]

Spiky.

[Rudolph St. James]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

So he's literally peacocking around this. This stage at the 21 convention.

[Adam the Liar]

Now, there is a massive problem in this community.

[Brian Green]

Right.

[Adam the Liar]

And I noticed it a couple of years ago.

[Rudolph St. James]

And the problem I noticed a couple years ago when I got into the community, I was gonna say. What community?

[Chrissy]

The pickup artist community.

[Brian Green]

I think he's talking about single men in general, but yes, the pickup artist.

[Adam the Liar]

Community I had a couple years ago was that dudes didn't hang around with girls, they just hung around with other guys. I came out and I said it. I stood on stage.

[Brian Green]

Age.

[Adam the Liar]

I've been in the community for a while. No one knew who I was.

[Brian Green]

Some community of guys hang out with other guys. I. I don't know where he's going with this one, but do guys just really only hang out with guys? Is that true? Like, if you go to a bar full of single women, are you just hanging out in the corner with other guys? This isn't the third grade, Right? Sadie Hawkins dance.

[Chrissy]

Right on the left, boys on the.

[Adam the Liar]

Right gave me a microphone and let me speak on stage. And as soon as I went up there, I went, you guys are all fools.

[Chrissy]

No, that's how he is that how he got his start?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's how he ingratiates himself. Right in the community. Someone just handed a microphone.

[Rudolph St. James]

You're the number one PUA in the world.

[Brian Green]

Go.

[Chrissy]

You guys are all idiots.

[Rudolph St. James]

You guys are all idiots. You're not getting any dick because you're only looking at other dicks.

[Brian Green]

And thanks for having me. This TED Talk sponsored by Zoom.

[Adam the Liar]

You go out with guys and speak to guys, but none of you hang around with girls. And since being in the community, the more I've looked at it, the more I've analyzed it, I've realized there is a new problem. Cereal openers.

[Brian Green]

Openers. Yeah, Cereal openers. I am a cereal opener myself. Yeah. Fruit Loops. Sometimes I just take granola mix. Just put it in cream.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

It's good for you. It's healthy.

[Adam the Liar]

Guys that run around opening right now. You know, I mean this in the nicest way.

[Brian Green]

Really? Don't.

[Rudolph St. James]

I mean this in the nicest way?

[Brian Green]

You're literally a shithead. I hate you.

[Adam the Liar]

I pick on somebody because he seems like a genuine guy, but there was a minute before I came up, the guy that's emceeing said, has anyone got any great stories that happened last night? And this guy goes, yeah, this opener I use. And he told this story of this opener, and it was a funny opening. He's like, put his hand over it. That was me. It was like, you know, who lies more? You know, a fish or a chicken?

[Chrissy]

And what.

[Brian Green]

Who lies more, a fish or a chicken?

[Chrissy]

That's. Some guy was proudly raising his hand.

[Brian Green]

That he said that that's a strong opening right there. Who lies more, a fish or a chicken? Get out of my face.

[Chrissy]

Right, Exactly.

[Brian Green]

Yes, exactly.

[Adam the Liar]

That's funny. Okay, I get it.

[Brian Green]

But.

[Adam the Liar]

But that was the end of the story. He opened, and I see it. I go to these venues. I see these puas running around.

[Chrissy]

Po. Running around.

[Rudolph St. James]

Poas unite. If you're a poor and you know it, clap your hand. If you're a poor and you know it, clap your hands. If you're a poor and you know it, then you surely want to grow it. If you're poor and you know it, grab your hands.

[Adam the Liar]

And they're so serious about it. Dude, I. I got a guy emailed me. I beat my. My level. I opened a thousand sets last week that. You opened a thou. You basically, you irritated a thousand women. That's what you did. You went up to them and you spoke at them for a while, and then you left.

[Rudolph St. James]

Well, that's true.

[Announcer]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

All right.

[Adam the Liar]

Adam.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I don't think anyone emailed you and said they opened a thousand sets last week.

[Chrissy]

Sets?

[Rudolph St. James]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

It's a set.

[Rudolph St. James]

Yeah, you got to win the set.

[Brian Green]

You know what I'm saying? It's a game. It's a little game.

[Adam the Liar]

They're so concerned with how many they open. I have people email me. Adam, I've got this problem. I opened this girl using this line. What do you think I should use?

[Rudolph St. James]

Oh, boo. What?

[Brian Green]

In the moment.

[Chrissy]

He's texting Adam, I just opened. What do I do next?

[Rudolph St. James]

Dear Adam, can you hold on one second?

[Brian Green]

Thanks. Dear Adam, I'm in the middle of.

[Rudolph St. James]

An opening set and I'm having a.

[Brian Green]

Bit of a complication as she doesn't.

[Rudolph St. James]

Really want to see me or look at me staring at the back of her head. What is your advice now? Adam responds, you fool. Close her.

[Adam the Liar]

You know what most PUA instructors consider a demo? If you open. Before I got married, when I demoed, I did it specifically to close. I'd make out with the chick. I'd look at the student go, did you see how easy that was? That was my idea of a demo.

[Chrissy]

A student.

[Brian Green]

Wow. Adam's so sure of himself. He's got students, he just makes out with chicks. Random.

[Rudolph St. James]

Did you see me? Did you see my.

[Chrissy]

Did you see I did that?

[Rudolph St. James]

Did you see my chlamydia filled tongue all over that woman's mouth? Did you see that? That is how you do it. Now get in there, champ.

[Brian Green]

Go on, smack him on the butt. Go get him.

[Chrissy]

You got this.

[Rudolph St. James]

You got this, champ.

[Brian Green]

Hi.

[Rudolph St. James]

Who lies more? Chicken or a.

[Brian Green]

All right, all right.

[Rudolph St. James]

Not bad, not bad. You at least said two words.

[Brian Green]

Let's move on to the next one.

[Rudolph St. James]

Her friend right next to her.

[Announcer]

Go.

[Rudolph St. James]

Who likes more a chicken or a fish? Ah, open.

[Adam the Liar]

But other pool is like. Well, you should be able to just randomly go up people and open them. No, you shouldn't. That's opening. That's annoying. That's irritating. Don't open it, people.

[Brian Green]

If you're not going to do anything with it.

[Adam the Liar]

Close and. And that's a massive issue. That's a problem that the community has.

[Rudolph St. James]

Yes, it's the problem that the community has.

[Chrissy]

Problem?

[Brian Green]

The serious problem. The reason why they're sitting in that chair right now. Adam, you're pointing out the way obvious is that they cannot get a date. Why else would they be there? You're pointing out the one thing they came here for.

[Chrissy]

Please, Adam, tell us.

[Rudolph St. James]

I know that like me going to.

[Brian Green]

A podiatrist and the podiatrist goes.

[Announcer]

Goes.

[Brian Green]

Just can't figure out what's wrong with your hands. Let me guess, you got an issue with your feet. I do.

[Rudolph St. James]

How did you know that?

[Brian Green]

I've been doing this for a long time. Let's take a look at your nipples.

[Adam the Liar]

And I wanted to address It. Before I do, I want to warn you about some of the hazards of closing. Now, I know that.

[Rudolph St. James]

Think restraining orders, STDs, accidental pregnancies, your hair turning across.

[Chrissy]

The face, slaps across the face, drinks.

[Rudolph St. James]

In your face, your hair accidentally turning red from some strange sexually transmitted disease of the hair.

[Adam the Liar]

But my really good friends love my stories on stage, and some of them.

[Brian Green]

Have heard this one. My friends love my stories from on stage. Wow.

[Rudolph St. James]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I think the exact opposite. I'm like, my friends hate the commercial break.

[Adam the Liar]

Even this room won't have. I'm going to warn you in advance if you have a little bit of a sickly stomach, if you're somebody that doesn't like graphic descriptions, you probably want to put your fingers in your ears for this next story.

[Brian Green]

Graphics, graphic descriptions. Oh, okay. Stay tuned, Christina. We might need to edit this part.

[Adam the Liar]

Out, tell you about the hazards that come from closing.

[Rudolph St. James]

Okay.

[Adam the Liar]

I met this girl, gamed her very well.

[Chrissy]

And gamed her very well.

[Rudolph St. James]

I came to totally gamed her. I was all over the game. I literally gamed on her face. Excuse me, which lies more, a chicken or a fish? You might have a game all over your face. You're getting gamed. You got game, you got game.

[Adam the Liar]

Back in my place. Now, there are a number of little. What I love is how all different events. Events come together to cause problems. I don't know if you guys know this. You go, oh, I'll just do that. That doesn't matter. And, oh, I've got that going on. But when they come together.

[Brian Green]

My wife was home.

[Rudolph St. James]

But my wife and my girlfriend get together.

[Adam the Liar]

Boom.

[Rudolph St. James]

It all blew up until I convinced both of them to go on this morning with me. And now one of them's pregnant. Worked out fine for me.

[Chrissy]

I'm the best.

[Rudolph St. James]

Yeah, has. I turned hazards into opportunities. That's why they call me Adam the Lot Fire.

[Adam the Liar]

I thought everything was great. I brought the chick home. She was ready for a same night lay.

[Chrissy]

Same night lay.

[Brian Green]

Same night lay.

[Chrissy]

Oh, my God.

[Rudolph St. James]

Snl. That's our new sticker.

[Brian Green]

Snl.

[Rudolph St. James]

Same night lay.

[Brian Green]

Boom.

[Chrissy]

He snapped his finger. She was ready for the same night lay.

[Brian Green]

Boom.

[Rudolph St. James]

Boom.

[Chrissy]

Gamed her, brought her the house.

[Announcer]

Bam.

[Rudolph St. James]

Gave her $1,000. Vova opened good night. Gave a thousand dollars to the security personnel with her. Boom. Done. Game day.

[Chrissy]

Same night.

[Rudolph St. James]

Same night.

[Adam the Liar]

And I've just perfected my squirting technique.

[Brian Green]

Your squatting technique, you say? Your squatting technique.

[Chrissy]

And that's not the only thing.

[Rudolph St. James]

And that's not the only thing. Pee, pee, poo. Poo. Here it comes, guys.

[Chrissy]

I just perfected my squatting.

[Rudolph St. James]

There you go. Scatter diddle doo. Here comes the graphic part.

[Chrissy]

Oh, I hope that.

[Rudolph St. James]

I hope not.

[Chrissy]

Oh, my God.

[Adam the Liar]

How to successfully make pretty much any girl squirt.

[Rudolph St. James]

Squirt.

[Brian Green]

Adam, that's. That is a physiological response that I guarantee. You cannot make any girl come like that. No, no, of course not. What a liar. What a liar.

[Adam the Liar]

Now you'd think this would be a really good combination, right?

[Chrissy]

But somebody else is like, yeah, yeah.

[Rudolph St. James]

Someone else is like, oh, yeah. Tell me all about it, Adam. This is what I came for. Here it comes.

[Chrissy]

I love these stories.

[Rudolph St. James]

This is the best part of the movie.

[Chrissy]

Love these stories.

[Rudolph St. James]

I love these stories. I. I paid just for the stories. You don't mind if I put a paper bag over my dick, do you? Don't mind me. Tell me about the squirting squirt. Tell me how you closed them. I want the game. Give me the game. Oh, yeah. Here we go.

[Chrissy]

Oh, my God.

[Rudolph St. James]

Oh, Lily. Adam's on a. Adam is hot tonight.

[Chrissy]

Okay, you're just.

[Brian Green]

Read the story.

[Rudolph St. James]

$2,000 I paid over and over again, brother.

[Brian Green]

I just want to hear the squirting story. This is a classic.

[Rudolph St. James]

He's like a fish head on New.

[Brian Green]

Year's Eve waiting for game engine.

[Rudolph St. James]

Oh, my God. Run like an antelope. Tell the squirting story.

[Adam the Liar]

I added another factor because, you know, you gotta do that. My flatmate wasn't in and I thought, you know, it'd be really funny. It would be to do it on his bed.

[Chrissy]

He slid off.

[Brian Green]

Nothing like putting weird body fluids all over your flatmate's bed. Classic.

[Rudolph St. James]

Classic Adam. This is what I came for, buddy.

[Brian Green]

This is like Trey doing a solo for 15 minutes when he talks about squirting on his flatmate's pillow.

[Rudolph St. James]

Noodle, brother.

[Brian Green]

Noodle.

[Chrissy]

He gave. He took like a sip of water too, waiting for the.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he's got pizzazz, Chrissy. He knows how to crowd. Yeah.

[Adam the Liar]

So, not that my bed was full. My bed was empty. I just, you know, wanted to do it on his. So if. If he is watching the video Amog. Scott, I love you very much. Although he doesn't know this happened.

[Brian Green]

He doesn't know this happened. Come on. This story gets more fantastical. I'm not sure which is more believable, Jar Jar Binks or Adam's story about squirting all over his flatmates bed. Thinking Jar Jar Binks at this point.

[Adam the Liar]

You're about to find out. So she's lying on the bed. And normally when a girl square, I get lying on their back.

[Brian Green]

Right.

[Adam the Liar]

But I thought again, I'll add someone else's mix.

[Brian Green]

Let's go.

[Chrissy]

I mean, he's just adding boom, boom.

[Brian Green]

Boom, boom, boom, boom. I'm just gonna add in that. Just keep on going. Just keep on going. Keep it spicy, keep it spicy. Gotta keep these guys interested. They're gonna get laid. I'm not, because I'm married. That sucks. I'm the married pua. Yeah. Nothing I trust more than a married guy telling me how to get pick up single women, which is what I do here on the show all the time, by the way.

[Adam the Liar]

There you go, all four squirting. It sounds like fun. What I'd effectively created without knowing it was some kind of rudimentary projectile device. Because she's on all fours, right? We were asked to in the air. And I'm going at it.

[Brian Green]

Don't watch.

[Adam the Liar]

But yeah, I'm good. I'm going at it and I'm good at it.

[Chrissy]

She goes, oh my God.

[Brian Green]

Oh my God, Chrissy, this guy is so full of himself. But I guess you have to be if this is the business you're going to be in. You can't be the timid guy. You can't be humble and be a voa. You know what I'm saying? Like a prerequisite of the job is that you're a total chauvinistic egotistical head.

[Chrissy]

I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Telling people at a convention.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. About made your.

[Chrissy]

How you the one night stand Ready. Ready for lay snl.

[Brian Green]

Same night. Lay snl baby.

[Chrissy]

Get on your flatmates bed and on all fours. And he's, you know, he's, he's good at what he does.

[Rudolph St. James]

Oh, he is.

[Brian Green]

Oh, by the way, I'm writing this down. Same night late. That might be the way we say goodbye.

[Rudolph St. James]

Same night, late night.

[Adam the Liar]

I'm like, no, that's okay. It's supposed to happen. All right, Relax, let it happen. So she does and she squirts straight out the back of her across.

[Rudolph St. James]

What is she, a cow?

[Brian Green]

I mean, God damn, Adam, treat this. Could you treat women with a little bit of respect while you're talking about them? Just a little. A bit.

[Adam the Liar]

I made it. Now I kind of knew that was gonna happen. It was kind of gonna be funny. You know, What I didn't expect was for her to come on at the same time.

[Rudolph St. James]

Time.

[Adam the Liar]

And so she had period stains all over the bed.

[Rudolph St. James]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Brian Green]

Adam, what in the good Are you talking about? Dude, I'm gonna fast forward this just a little bit. Yeah, I'm not interested in that part. This is crazy.

[Chrissy]

And besides, he started off the whole whole thing. Once again, these people that start off like. I've got two things to tell you.

[Rudolph St. James]

Yeah, I've got two things to tell you. This is not one of them, but.

[Brian Green]

It'S taking up 15 minutes of time.

[Adam the Liar]

All right, Closing has problems.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Adam the Liar]

You're worried about opening. Be worried about the closing problems.

[Brian Green]

Oh, that was the. Okay. Yes. That was the hazard. The hazard.

[Chrissy]

Good at what you do is that women. It can be too good.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Guess what? Thirteen year olds learned this. You for brains, first of all. You for brains. Second of all. Lots of people have sex on their period, Adam. I don't know if you've known that, but it's actually possible, it's probable that if you're in a long term relationship, that's going to happen. And know what?

[Chrissy]

Aren't you married?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, aren't you married? Haven't you done this before? Number one. Number two, it's unlikely that you can get every girl that you ever have sex with to squirt like that at all. Either that or I am a terrible lover because it's only happened to me once or twice. It's more likely that it's me and not him, but whatever.

[Adam the Liar]

Okay? You have to pay for cleaning bills and stuff. Like, closing problems are much harder. But closing is where the fun is. Closing is where the funny stories happen.

[Brian Green]

Is he really saying. Oh my God, is he really saying that the problem with closing is that she might be on her period and you might have to clean your sheets.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, you're having too much fun.

[Brian Green]

I honestly hate this guy more than I hate any of the other puas that we do. Frankie B. Who's the other guy? Mystery, you know, Cypress Hill, whatever his name is. Mystery Hill. I don't even know what his name is.

[Chrissy]

Now there's the other guy that lives down in. With Brazil.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, with Brazil. That's.

[Chrissy]

He's been out.

[Brian Green]

Michael and Anthony.

[Chrissy]

He's been ousted from this country.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but Michael, Anthony makes fun of this guy all the time. And I'm starting to feel like I. I don't like Michael, but I'm feeling like the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Adam the Liar]

Okay, opening, you're really not doing anything. You're just running around speaking to girls, not doing anything about it. And it's another form of anxiety. Like there is nothing wrong with opening girls. Everybody in this room, some of you might thinking, I've still got aa. You're always going to have aa. It doesn't go away.

[Chrissy]

What's aa?

[Brian Green]

What's aa? Alcoholic, Synonymous. It never goes away. I don't know. Acid.

[Rudolph St. James]

I'm not even sure.

[Brian Green]

Anxiety, something. I don't know, kind of get over it.

[Chrissy]

Anxiety.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Rudolph St. James]

God.

[Adam the Liar]

Push past it and you open.

[Rudolph St. James]

Am I being an.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, just push past that.

[Brian Green]

Get past the fact that you're a total chauvinist and no girl likes you. Push past that.

[Rudolph St. James]

That.

[Brian Green]

Push past that. Don't worry about it.

[Chrissy]

It'll always be there.

[Brian Green]

Eventually, you'll break through and be back in your dad's basement playing Super Mario Kart. Don't worry about it.

[Adam the Liar]

Almost everyone, this room has opened at least once. If you've done it once, you can do it again. It's not a problem. The problem comes when the closing. And a lot of people have that issue. Some incredibly big gurus that do talks.

[Chrissy]

All around the world.

[Adam the Liar]

I know for a fact have a problem.

[Chrissy]

Some incredibly big gurus.

[Brian Green]

Some gurus like puas, people that he's talking about. He is literally throwing down the gauntlet. He just dropped bombs all over the place. He's spilling the tea. He's saying that it might be possible that guys that talk like him also have a hard time getting women to sleep with them. I don't believe it. Adam. Causing trouble in the PUA community.

[Chrissy]

That community is crazy.

[Brian Green]

That community. They just are going at each other.

[Chrissy]

And then some people just travel around the world.

[Brian Green]

That's right.

[Chrissy]

To hear these stories.

[Brian Green]

To hear these stories and give these talks and give. Andy, get their paper bags up.

[Rudolph St. James]

Get your paper bags out, boys. I'm gonna tell the period story.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he took to way new lows there. And by the way, I. I didn't know that was coming. So.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, we were very.

[Brian Green]

I didn't know she was coming, and I didn't know he was coming. And I didn't know that was coming. So there you go. And I. I just can't believe how audaciously chauvinistic.

[Chrissy]

He's awful.

[Brian Green]

Some of these guys are. They're awful. He's awful. They're all awful.

[Chrissy]

They are.

[Brian Green]

They are.

[Rudolph St. James]

I can't believe.

[Chrissy]

I need to find out what the 21 convention.

[Rudolph St. James]

It's 21 EPM conventions convention.

[Brian Green]

That's what it was.

[Chrissy]

Me, you and I.

[Brian Green]

You and I have got to get.

[Chrissy]

Into one of those.

[Brian Green]

I guarantee that convention is not around anymore, but we can get into another one.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I would be.

[Chrissy]

We've got to find one.

[Brian Green]

I would be peacocking throughout that crowd as I brought a female with me.

[Chrissy]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But I'd be afraid. I'd be afraid at night. I don't know. I'd have to stand by you 20. Yeah, 24 hours, seven days a week.

[Chrissy]

It would be funny. Like, I wish we like a little camera like glasses maybe with.

[Brian Green]

Oh, the Google glasses. Like the go glasses.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I know. Like just like James Bond type camera.

[Brian Green]

We'll put a little thing on my, on my button that I'll. My fifth button, right. I'll have my shirt unbuttoned all the way. My hairy chest just flying everywhere. But there's a little camera at the bottom button. They'll be too distracted by my hairy nipples to see the camera on my button. We're gonna go for it. Season number five, we're getting out in the world. That's one of my promises to myself. We're getting out there in the world. World. Yes. We're going to go find that Jar Jar Binks, stab him in the eyeball. All right. TCB podcast.com that's where you go. You find out more information about the show, all the audio, all the video right there at one location. TCBpodcast.com now available. Your stamp sized piggy front sticker. Go to the contact us button. Hit the drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Send us your address. We'll send it off. It'll be there shortly. 626. Ask TCB the number three. 626. Ask TCB the number three. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. YouTube.com the commercial break at the commercial break on Instagram. TCB podcast on Tick Tock. Okay, Chrissy, I love you.

[Chrissy]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you.

[Chrissy]

Best to you.

[Brian Green]

I've been best to you out there in the podcast universe.

[Rudolph St. James]

That's all you get now. Sam. Ra.