Sister Host Wanted

Summary

The Commercial Break – "Sister Host Wanted"

Release Date: April 11, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

In this hilarious, improvisational episode, Bryan and Krissy dive into their signature brand of chaotic, observational comedy with a focus on absurd internet culture, podcast reviews, and the everyday lunacy found on Nextdoor. The main theme is riffing on audience feedback, poking fun at review culture, and highlighting the unintentional comedy gold mined from neighborhood social media posts.

Lighthearted critiques segue into social commentary on generational tech habits and relationship norms, with plenty of personal anecdotes, tangents, and witty banter that exemplify the "Cheesecake Factory of comedy podcasts" ethos—overflowing, unpredictable, and proudly unfiltered.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Embracing Their Own Chaotic Brand

• Self-deprecating Podcast Review Reading
  • The hosts read and mock their own Apple Podcast reviews, both positive and negative.
  • Bryan zeros in on a recurring theme: the show is “ADHD ramblings of two middle-aged white people," which he fully owns and promises to update as the show synopsis.
  • Krissy notes, “If someone takes the time to write a review, they’ve at least listened to the show and that’s all that matters.” (07:58)
• Quoting Bad Reviews
  • Bryan: “Adhd ramblings of a middle aged white guy, basically Brian, and talking and doing voices. You got it. You did it. I’m putting that synopsis next month on Apple. You win.” (04:30)
• Philosophy of Feedback
  • Bryan shares that he’s grown a thicker skin as they’ve accumulated more listeners and reviews, learning to take both the good and bad in stride, referencing Howard Stern’s Private Parts scene (“the people who like the show listen for 10 hours, those who don’t for 20”). (07:15-07:55)
• Krissy: “I look at it as a positive that they cared so much to actually write something.” (06:35)

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2. Satire of Internet Platforms: Nextdoor & Social Media

• Nextdoor Ridiculousness
  • The episode’s central comedic well: Bryan and Krissy read, roast, and riff on Nextdoor neighbor posts, lampooning the petty, clueless, or bizarre questions posted by (mostly older) users.
  • They highlight the generational disconnect and the surge in trivial or overly personal posts.
  • Bryan: “‘Looking for a tall person to blow leaves off my roof.’ – They don’t make ‘em nine feet yet, I don’t think!” (12:16)
• Memorable Nextdoor Moments:
  • “Does anyone have an app that helps you keep track if you fed your dog?”
  • “My wife spotted a bald eagle flying overhead. No she didn’t. There are no bald eagles in Georgia, what the fuck are you talking about?” (15:06)
  • Human trafficking panic posts, over-detailed restaurant complaints, and neighbors asking for random, often easily Google-able information.
• Generational Tech Humor
  • Commentary on how older people use Nextdoor versus younger users on platforms like Snapchat, with Bryan noting: “Nextdoor is the whitest app I’ve ever been on.” (08:26)
  • They tease the recent Snapchat “friend ranking” feature as “about to destroy the psyche”—“You want to get depressed? Read my reviews and stay away from Snapchat.” (08:59)
• Nextdoor’s Peak Absurdity:
  • Bryan describes reading Nextdoor as “old people in a can—you want to see memes about people who can’t text? On Nextdoor, it’s real life.” (29:03)
  • Most posts could be solved by Google, but instead, users “go around their ass to get to their elbow.”

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3. Relationship Norms and Personal Anecdotes

• Sleeping Arrangements:
  • The hosts discuss the trend (and celebrity examples) of couples not sleeping in the same bed or even house, citing Barbara Corcoran (of Shark Tank):
    • Bryan: “She says she keeps the relationship hot and fresh by sleeping in separate bedrooms for 40 years—she has to invite Bill in and vice versa.” (32:59)
    • Krissy imagines the “boudoir” set-up and finds the separate-house arrangement especially strange: “That’s when a sister wife makes sense, right? When you’re not in the same house.” (37:48)
  • They tie it back to real life with stories about snoring, CPAP machines, and the lost art of “cuddling up” in a shared bed.
• Podcast Chemistry and the “Sister Host” Theme
  • Bryan jokes about recruiting a “sister host”—a running gag about finding a new co-host as if searching for a sister wife.
  • The recurring banter about meeting people “without Krissy” and searching Nextdoor for a “sister host.”

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4. Pop Culture Tangents: Golf, Shark Tank, and Squatty Potty

• Masters Week & The Golf Industry Drama
  • Bryan and Krissy riff on the Masters tournament, LIV Golf’s Saudi-backed disruption of the PGA, and the ethical debates surrounding it.
  • Bryan breaks down the convoluted state of pro golf for listeners, poking fun at overlapping leagues, revenue, and the WB network’s obscurity:
    • “Do you even know where the WB is on your dial? Because I sure as shit don’t.” (48:03)
• Shark Tank Cast and Guest Sponsor Shout-outs
  • Light analysis of the Shark Tank cast’s roles and investments, with digs at Kevin O’Leary’s personality: “Kevin O’Leary…something about him just rubs me the wrong way.” (35:09)
  • They affectionately reminisce about their sponsorship from Squatty Potty:
    • “We were the only podcast they had sponsored for a long time, which was so great. And then…I don’t know what happened.” (36:19)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Adhd ramblings of two middle aged white people. Like every other podcast on Apple.”
  Bryan Green (05:21)
• “Nextdoor is the whitest app I’ve ever been on.”
  Bryan Green (08:26)
• On reading reviews:
  Bryan: “You want to get depressed? Read my reviews and stay away from Snapchat.” (08:59)
• Nextdoor post reacts:
  Bryan: “They don’t make them nine feet yet, I don’t think. What are you doing? Go to the Hawks game, see if you can get one of those guys to come over and blow your leaves.” (12:16) Bryan, on eagle sightings: “No she didn’t. There are no bald eagles in Georgia. What the fuck are you talking about?” (15:06)
• On relationship trends:
  Krissy: “That’s when a sister wife makes sense, right? When you’re not in the same house.” (37:48) Bryan: “That bed is where the intimacy happens. A lot of conversations, a lot of whispers…That’s where it happens.” (39:29)
• On old people & technology:
  Bryan: “It’s old people in a can…on Nextdoor, it’s alive and well.” (29:03)
• On Masters & Golf Drama:
  Bryan: “Do you even know where the WB is on your dial? Because I sure as shit don’t.” (48:03)
• On losing Masters tickets in a divorce:
  Bryan: “I lost the tickets in the divorce. I asked for them and they said, ‘Well, maybe…we’ll see.’ Still waiting.” (55:28)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Podcast reviews, self-deprecating banter: 01:10–07:58
• Nextdoor posts reading & riffing: 08:24–24:33
• Nextdoor, social media & generational tech humor: 08:24–11:18
• Memorable Nextdoor quotes & bathroom/kitchen comedy: 14:01–23:23
• Sleeping arrangements & relationship talk: 30:13–39:55
• Shark Tank cast & business talk: 34:06–36:41
• Golf industry, Masters tournament, sports bifurcation: 44:06–53:12
• Closing thoughts, Masters nostalgia, ticket divorce story: 55:12–56:53

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Tone & Style

Bryan and Krissy maintain a satirical, irreverent, and self-aware tone—proudly poking fun at themselves, their audience, and the broader world. Their dynamic is easygoing and relatable, with quick-fire jokes, tangents, and plenty of inside references for listeners. They embrace the “podcast about nothing” vibe, making listeners feel like they’re eavesdropping on two friends’ most unfiltered conversations.

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Summary Takeaway

This episode is a parade of comic gold, from absurd Nextdoor postings to confessional podcast reviews. Listeners are treated to a variety show of observational humor, raw perspectives on pop culture, and the personal quirks of the hosts. Whether critiquing social networks, mocking internet neighborhood drama, or reflecting on love and golf, Bryan and Krissy keep things fast, funny, and refreshingly unpretentious.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

I'm off putting. I'm an embarrassment and. But I'm also a legend, oddly, possibly a legend for being embarrassing. But I'll own that on this episode of the commercial break. I was speaking with someone a couple of weekends ago. Someone we don't know. Someone I had met. Speaking of someone.

[Chrissy]

You met someone without me?

[Brian Green]

I did meet someone without you. Well, listen, I'm looking for that sister wife. Chriss. I'm looking for that sister host.

[Chrissy]

The sister host.

[Brian Green]

Or they're going to bring in an extra sister host wanted sister host. Thanks.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, put it on next door.

[Brian Green]

I will put it on next door. Let's see what happens. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah. Guys and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is definitely the alien of the show. Chris. Enjoy. Only best to you, Chris. Miss you out there in the podcast universe. Still can't get rid of that alien.

[Chrissy]

I was gonna say. Oh, I know I missed it.

[Brian Green]

I know.

[Chrissy]

We used to do it before every show.

[Brian Green]

Every single episode. Season three, probably most of season four. Well, yeah, definitely all of season three. We did the aliens noise and then I had this diatribe that I would go on for six and a half minutes before anybody started getting interested in what I was actually talking about. So dumb. So dumb. 112 episodes or something along those lines ruined by Brian's 5 minute diatribe. Thanks for joining us. Welcome back. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this, the commercial break. It's not for everyone. Black music fiction. Five minutes of this or you're running back, guaranteed. Hey, you heard it here last. Cheesecake Factory. A podcast. Thank you. I added that to our show notes to like our actual ep, like our actual podcast notes. Yeah, the Cheesecake Factory podcast. I've decided I'm just gonna change those show like the, you know, the little what's it about Apple and Spotify and stuff. I'm just gonna change it every month or two and just add something else. While we're speaking of Apple and Spotify, I wanted to say thank you very much to all those who are leaving nice reviews about us on the Apple podcast system and even those who are not. That's okay. You're not so nice. I can take it. I cry at night, but I'll take it alone.

[Chrissy]

It means you're out there.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, luckily I don't have a conjoined twin where I have to cry. We have to cry together. G. Hammock says Chrissy, Brian, Tina, mom, Astrid, Jerry. What A bunch. I don't know who Jerry is, but you're welcome.

[Chrissy]

I wonder who's Jerry.

[Brian Green]

I know who's Jerry? Jerry. Well, whichever other podcast Jerry's on, Jerry's doing a great job too. Oh, they have me laughing on the road, at home, on the subway. I need more laughs in my life. It's perfect. Thank you very much. Boom. Giggles says Venezuelan propaganda.

[Chrissy]

I love that one.

[Brian Green]

It's my favorite review ever. Super funny and a great listen. It usually makes me laugh, though. It might be produced by the Venezuelan government in an attempt to soften American attitude toward their culture.

[Chrissy]

We were just talking about Venezuela earlier.

[Brian Green]

I know, but I don't. No, I have nothing to do with Venezuela. They sure do think they're funny. That's what someone said. I have no idea who's giving good views for this boring podcast.

[Chrissy]

On an off day, which is three out of the four times that we recorded.

[Brian Green]

This guy says, I agree with the others in the reviews. I can't stop laughing when these two start with who's hot, who's not. I will knock TCB a little bit for, I'm assuming, busting on the religion, but I will forgive you this time. You. This is just two people talking about nothing. Not sure what the hype is. I give it a star for the effort. Gave me two. Thanks. Heard of this on Conan and so intrigued. So I sampled a few episodes. I don't see how this is funny or even improve. Well, it's definitely not improving, I'll give you that. More like adhd ramblings of a middle aged white guy, basically Brian and talking and doing voices. Exactly. You got it. You did it. I'm putting that synopsis next month on Apple. You win. I guarantee that guy is still listening. Guarantee it. He hates me. He hates me. People hate me. They do. When they write reviews. It very rarely mentions Chrissy. It always mentions me. But that's okay. Fuck you. You know, the truth is it. I'm surprised our rating is as high as it is.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Because it's usually the ones that dislike the show that leave the reviews. I mean, there's certain.

[Chrissy]

Anything bad.

[Brian Green]

Anything. Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Restaurants, that.

[Brian Green]

Restaurants, all that other stuff. But thank you to those who are leaving reviews. Even if it's a bad review, I'll take it. We can take it on the chin. We can give it. We can take it. And that's exactly what this show is. Adhd ramblings of two middle aged white people. Like every other podcast on Apple.

[Chrissy]

That's it exactly.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. There. There are Very few that are not the middle aged ramblings of white people. I'm just sharing that with you right now just in case you didn't get what a podcast was. That's why I'm so interested in podcasts that don't have middle aged white people on them. Those are the really. Those are the good ones.

[Chrissy]

We should turn to true crime.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I thought about doing like, you know, we did Hambone and Holy. I was thinking about doing like a true crime where we dissect a crime that we have committed. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, murdered the comedy podcast industry altogether.

[Chrissy]

I like it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But, you know, onward and upward. You know, I do have to say this. I'll share that. I have. For a long time. I did not look at the Apple reviews very much because when a bad one would come in, I. I feel hurt.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, right.

[Brian Green]

It's hard not to feel just a little bit upset when you have five reviews and three of them are about how awful you are. But now that we've got a couple thousand of them, I learned to take it on the chin.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. You have to take the good with the bad.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You take the good with the bad. I don't take the good all that seriously. I don't take the bad seriously.

[Chrissy]

I look at it as a positive that they cared so much to actually write something.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. That's the other thing. And they were listening. Every time that I read a bad review, I am always reminded of the movie Private Parts with Howard Stern.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Where they're reviewing the beginning of his career. He goes to New York and. Not that we are Howard Stern. So don't write a review. Say these guys comparing himself to Howard Stern that you. Okay, sorry, Howard's too woke for you. In the movie, they. He's on at night, he does some, you know, horribly chauvinistic bit or whatever.

[Chrissy]

God, that show used to really be.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. It was a different time, just a different place. And they. He comes in and the manager comes in in the morning, the phones are ringing off the hook, and some guy comes up and says, hey, listen, we've had, you know, Howard's show has received, you know, whatever, a thousand complaints. You know, the phones won't stop ringing, blah, blah, blah. And he goes, that's it. That's the ammunition we need to fire this asshole. And he. That's kind of the strange thing, actually. We did some polling, and the people who like the show listen for whatever, 10 hours a week, and the people who dislike the Show Listen for 20 hours a week. So I actually think it's a good thing. And so, you know, when someone takes the time to write a review, they've at least listened to the show and that's all that matters. So thank you.

[Chrissy]

That's what I think of.

[Brian Green]

Thank you. And our sponsors thank you, by the way. Also, could you do me a favor while you're leaving the bad review? Drop our sponsors code. Drop our specialized URL in our sponsors webpage so it makes everybody happy. Speaking of bad reviews in general, bad Internet writing. I thought we would take today and we would review some next door posts. Oh, what do you think? Store next door.

[Chrissy]

Remember me to pull mine up.

[Brian Green]

Speaking of middle aged white people. Ranting, ranting the ramblings of middle aged white people. This is more, I think, the ramblings of old white people. But that's okay. Either way. Next door is the whitest app I've ever been on. People are worried about, you know, Snapchat. Oh, let me do a little sidebar here. Snapchat is now paying. You can now rank your friends on Snapchat. And if you pay money, you can see how you're ranked with your friends. This is about to destroy the psyche.

[Christina]

As if.

[Chrissy]

As if it couldn't get any worse.

[Brian Green]

It just got 10 times worse. Because Snapchat I don't think could fig is figuring out a great way to make money. So now they're just charging their users to see these analytics with which are going to depress everybody. I know that suck. You want to get depressed? Read my reviews and stay away from Snapchat. Okay? That's it. That's all you need to know. It's absolutely insane. And I. And there are so many.

[Chrissy]

Keep spiraling worse and worse and worse.

[Brian Green]

There's a big backlash. Listen, there's a lot of local governments, city governments, state governments, maybe the federal government has been talking about this for a while. It's affecting the mental health of our society. And I think people are starting to get a little bit more serious about putting some kind of, you know, guardrails.

[Chrissy]

On what's going on, you know, and it's all about that. That's what everybody else is doing. So you feel like you have to be there. Like I was listening to another podcast. I think it was the Hidden Brain. I love that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Was Shankar Vidal or how do you say his name?

[Brian Green]

Oh, I don't know. I don't want him. I don't want to slaughter it. So I'm not going to say it.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, so he had somebody on talking about this exact thing and they, he said that he took a poll with these, you know, college age kids that said, well, do you, you know, they, they feel like they had to be on there basically because everybody else was, but if everybody else wasn't on there, they wouldn't feel like they.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, well, it's. Listen, I. The state of Florida just made it illegal for anyone under the age of 13 to have a social media account. It's illegal for the social media companies to give an account to anyone that's under the age of 13.

[Chrissy]

Damaging.

[Brian Green]

It's damaging. I will keep my children away from it as long as I possibly. And I'm hoping. There was an interesting article that I read that said that the babies that are being born today will not be social media babies. They won't be iPad babies is what they really called it. Because parents us are now have been through this and we see that social media and that, you know, sticking an iPad in front of a kid 24 hours a day is just terrible for their psyche. It's terrible for their brains. And yeah, so I do what the. I do what my parents did. Instead of sticking my kids in front of an iPad, I stick them in front of the tv. That's the way you're supposed to do it, right? Yes.

[Chrissy]

Go back, go back to the way.

[Brian Green]

It was back in the old days. Social media. What's that? But let's get back to next door.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Because this is the application I think we should all truly be worried about. I think we're all, we're all open arms about Snapchat and all the other, you know, insta tick tock and all that other. This is what we should be worried about. Yeah. The crazy human beings. Which is most old white people who are on next door asking questions that could be answered by literally anybody. Ready?

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Who? Okay. I wanted to start with this one. Hi, neighbors. Trying to.

[Chrissy]

Hi.

[Brian Green]

Trying to plan a trip to Portugal. Does anyone have any idea how I look for interesting things or plan itineraries? Google. Google.

[Chrissy]

Or a travel agent. Those have been around for a while.

[Brian Green]

Yes. I can't remember if I fed my dog. Does anyone have an app that helps you keep track? Picture of dog included? What was the other one? Do not pay for a triple A membership. We've been waiting for a tow for almost an hour. We requested tow at 10am Now 11.25am and there's still no sign of it. Save your money. Okay. All right, got it. 10, 4. Looking for someone to help blow. Leaves off my roof does. Is there any tall person or someone with a ladder? Tall person. They don't make them nine feet yet, I don't think. What are you doing? Go to the Hawks game. See if you can get one of those guys to come over and blow your leaves. Blow your leaves. I lost my driver's license and I'm looking for a number to call to ask what I need to do to replace it. When I use the Yellow pages, I call the number and all they give you is the runaround. Does anyone know where the office is? Better yet, a real phone number I can call. After searching all scenarios as to where I might have lost it, I finally just realized I need to replace it. Please help. Thank you. Marlene. Marlene.

[Chrissy]

Please help.

[Brian Green]

Please help me.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, it's like, what world are they living in?

[Brian Green]

Please be aware of deer at night. Of the neighborhood. She's saying the name of the neighborhood has been seeing many deer at night. I saw the cops with one the other night. What are the cops doing with the deer? Uh oh. Scandal is rocking this neighborhood. Cops are going around fucking deer in Georgia.

[Chrissy]

I saw the cops with one.

[Brian Green]

I call fake news. I saw the cops with one. What? I'm just like reading them. I'm just scrolling. I'm not even trying. I just picked up this email. Where do you pick up an email from? I have AT&T. This doesn't look legit to me. Due to address. Am I right? The address is dwight.markin.com Starting April 5, customers are yet to update their account will no longer be able to log in. Please click here. Well Nancy, you got that one right. You saved yourself some drama there. Hi neighbors. A small portion of my door frame is rotten and I am looking to get it fixed. Yes. Does anyone know where I can get a small piece of a door frame or a handyman with one? The candyman just carry around pieces of door frames? Yeah, just pieces of door frames. My wife spotted a bald eagle flying overhead. No she didn't. There are no bald eagles in Georgia. What the fuck are you talking about? This is so much fun. I just want to do this for the rest. Hello and happy people. Well, that's not even great. English. Looking for a reliable bathroom that has a standing shower.

[Chrissy]

A reliable bathroom.

[Brian Green]

Thanks in advance.

[Chrissy]

Helpful.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, why not? Refrigerator repair. Our freezer went out last night and I had to call Mr. Fix it for backup recommendations, whatever that means. Does anybody have experience with this? We will need someone quick as the water is starting to flow from the freezer.

[Chrissy]

Well, good thing that you're checking in on an apple.

[Brian Green]

Oh, this day spa on this road is closing permanently, effective immediately with no notice. The issue is that my wife and I recently received hundreds of dollars in gift certificates from family and co workers which are apparently now worthless. I've spent so much money and I've tried to contact them with no luck. Very, very upset. You didn't spend any money. You got it as a gift, you asshole. To which some other neighbor says, oh no, that's too bad. I also have $200 worth of gift certificates. We should call together. Let's call together. The number is not active he just stated. But let's call and get a dial tone together. Does anyone have a recommendation for a chiropractor? Google. Powerball jackpot. $900 million alert. Powerball is now $900 million. Does anyone want to go in with me? Sure, I'll buy the tickets and split it with you, no problem.

[Chrissy]

Just a random person.

[Brian Green]

I'm just sharing this post to let everyone know what's going on and how very close it is. It's not my post. Human trafficking. Sorry for any confusion. I'm all kind of confused. Thank you for apologizing because actually, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about. He just writes human trafficking in all capital letters. Human trafficking. By the way, that got 150 hearts. Someone knows something. Does anyone know why the police just drove by my house with the blue lights? Human trafficking. Didn't you just read? It's human trafficking?

[Chrissy]

Oh my God.

[Brian Green]

I think we're gonna have to do the whole episode just me reading. Next door post, this guy names a restaurant. He names where the location is and he says, first time, shame on me. Second time, shame on them. No, third time, not ever. Terrible coffee. Poor souvas poor. Food was marginal, bathrooms dirty. No one even said hi.

[Chrissy]

I think it's reversed though. First time, shame on them. Second time, shame on.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, well, he was returning. He was trying. He was trying. He's lonely. I need someone.

[Chrissy]

I mean, if there's a restaurant that even remotely looks like it is not good, I'm not going to continue.

[Brian Green]

No, I mean, you get one chance. That's it, right? I need some help with a little tile project. I had a plumber in here and he has caused several issues including tracking mud in my front.

[Chrissy]

Oh my God.

[Brian Green]

Okay, names, names, restaurant names where it's located, names the other two restaurants that are next door to it. As if the address wasn't enough. Just so you know exactly where it is. If you decide to go there because of the following. Last week, I ordered 15 wings. I picked up the bag and it was so light. I was wondering if any actual wings were inside when I got. Why didn't you check there when I got home?

[Chrissy]

If something seems off, yes, go ahead and check.

[Brian Green]

If it doesn't seem like there's actual food in the box, then you should probably open it and check and drive off. Yeah. I get home and these wings were no bigger than the end of my index finger.

[Chrissy]

Baby chicken wings.

[Brian Green]

They're selling baby chicks. Little chick wings.

[Chrissy]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

Cock a doodle. Fuck you. Sorry to hear that. Then they cook them, and they're even smaller than that. So disappointed. We work hard for our money to get food like that. My point is, if you go in there, ask to see what size the wings are. So you're not disappointed.

[Chrissy]

Well, because everybody wants to rush down there now.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. We're all heading to this place.

[Chrissy]

We'll report back.

[Brian Green]

There's literally 20 comments on this. Let's see what they have to say. Thank you. Have a safe day. Used to be good. Went way downhill. The pizza place is better. The one next door that she names. They have been really nice. Good luck. Trash cans overflowing, says one comment.

[Chrissy]

Add that to the list.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Oh, Don says, we actually love smaller wings, in my opinion. By the way, the chili Philly cheese steak is really big. Try that. Try that. I remember the one that I used to go. Always, always open them so you can see them for yourself. Oh, they did a presentation for you. I don't get that at the Chili's when I go get takeout. Just a minute. Yeah. Please.

[Chrissy]

Please review our wing selection.

[Brian Green]

Your double bubble fart burger, sir. Extra chili and bloomin onion sauce. Yep. That looks exactly like the slop I wanted. Are those baby chicken wings? Because I morally object to that. Try ordering more wings next time. 10 is not enough. Don't go there. Worst food ever. Wow. Who knew?

[Chrissy]

There is such so much, so much activity.

[Brian Green]

I love it. I love it. I just love it.

[Chrissy]

You get a different one out here where you are too, than I do downtown.

[Brian Green]

Well, maybe in downtown. It's a younger crowd in general.

[Chrissy]

Did you hear that shooting?

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

What was that? Is that fireworks?

[Brian Green]

Wow. That was fun. Get, get, get, get. No, I've been downtown and I had next door and I read the ones. Yeah, it was a little different. It's a little different. I was like, anyone know any good Ecstasy currently sitting at the Iron Flatiron bar? Right. It was a Little rougher. I live in a neighborhood. There's lots of young folks that live here. But there also are some retirement homes around, and I imagine that's where a lot of the dismay is coming from. Those retirement homes or people who should be in the retirement. This is crazy. It's like almost every one of these posts could be answered by Google. Yeah, just Googling it like plumber, you know? And then you could read the reviews and go from there. But these people seem to want to go five steps. Like, like I've been told many times, you went around your ass to get to your elbow. It's so stupid. Oh, my gosh. All right, let's take a break. Maybe we'll come back with more next door, because I. I am enjoying this, quite frankly. All right, we'll be back.

[Christina]

I know you're already on your phone, so pull up Instagram and follow us. Hecommercial break and then follow us on TikTokcbpodcast.

[Brian Green]

Done. Perfect.

[Christina]

Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-4333, TCB. Or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story or anything really. We're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-4333, TCV. And don't forget to check out TCVpodcast.com because that's got it all. Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. I just found the best nextdoor post ever. And I am really hoping that Joseph is joking here because it's a really funny joke, but let's check it out. Joe says, I just so excited. I just found the best new wine decanter. Picked it up at Goodwill. It is literally a piss jar from a hospital. That's what you piss in when you can't get out of bed.

[Chrissy]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

He's pouring wine with it. Okay, there's a lot of laughs, so I think that. I think that's it.

[Chrissy]

Maybe that was an April Fool's.

[Brian Green]

Has anyone ever painted furniture? Are you happy? Thank you.

[Chrissy]

You mean in life generally or.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Is that pain? In pain. Am I happy? Is there a specific thing I should be happy about or am I just. Jessica says hello. We has an athlete in need. They have a place to live, but nothing. They have a place to live, but nothing but an air mattress. I don't even know what that means. We have given them pots and pans and a king sized Bed frame. Wait, they have a place to live? We are in need. They're asking if they can pot off their kid to another human being. We have an athlete in need. He's been a great kid, but. And he's got some pots of bed.

[Chrissy]

In a frame for the bed.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Looking for a pool. Company recently had a squirrel in the pool. Got him out. Thanks. Hey, neighbors. Just had a question for the general public. Would you all be interested. Would y' all be interested in a used chair? I'm thinking about getting rid of it.

[Chrissy]

But I just want to see kind of interesting.

[Brian Green]

Hey, neighbors. Just wondered if you're interested in my old chair, because I'm not, but if you are, then I'll tell you where to get it. Okay. One or two more, then we'll move on. All right, I had one here. Hold on. Let me see. Okay. Looking for recommendation for paving. Company had company resurface. My driveway accidentally drove over. It. Can't get a hold of original company. Thanks. Anybody know where I could get a good cell phone? I'm pretty sure Verizon will sell you one.

[Chrissy]

Oh, my God. There's only cell phone commercials every other time it's on.

[Brian Green]

Listen to this. There's literally no link here. Ben is fantastic. Good for Ben. When we asked our neighbor for a good garage door guy, everyone said, ben is the best. He is prompt, fair, and does a great job. He went above and beyond and replaced the motor, upgraded our hardware. Now the garage door is so quiet I can't even hear it from a bed.

[Chrissy]

The kids will be excited about that.

[Brian Green]

Kids will be excited about that. Thank you, Ben. No link included. No last name, no phone number. Ben's doing a great job. Thank you to Ben.

[Chrissy]

Good old garage Ben.

[Brian Green]

Oh, Ben. The two of us need look no more. It's all done for us. It's all done for us. Oh, my God. That is so much fun. I will literally do that all day.

[Chrissy]

That is crazy.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I was reading them last night as I was waiting for an edit that I had to render on video, which takes her fucking ever. But I was reading them, Chrissy. I just could not stop laughing. I mean, it's. It is. It's old people in a can is what. You know, everyone makes fun of that old person who can't text or, you know, they all. Everyone has the meme pages about the old people literally go to next door. It's alive and well. The meme culture is alive and well, but it's not a meme. They're actually asking. They actually need to know. Have you seen my cat? No name, no picture included. Yeah, I think I've seen a cat. I don't know if it's your cat, but if you want to come by and take a look, it's right outside my back door. And then some people put their actual addresses on there, and I'm like, yeah, dumb, dumb. You remember a couple of months ago when we talked. Speaking of old white people, you remember a couple of months ago we talked about how people were. There's like a trend. I don't say it's a trend, but maybe people are being more vocal about it. How they do not co. Sleep with their partners, their wives, their husbands, their boyfriends.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

For whatever reason. Like, I can understand if I. If Astrid was like a terrible. Had a terrible snore or something like that.

[Chrissy]

Hot, cold.

[Brian Green]

And there was just nothing we could do to fix it.

[Chrissy]

But Astrid or you have a twin.

[Brian Green]

Or you have a conjoined twin.

[Chrissy]

Or if a conjoined twin.

[Brian Green]

You have a conjoined twin and you just desperately want to sleep in the next room. Yeah. Wouldn't that mentally with you a little bit. Like, if, you know, you could never get away from this person. I guess when that's all you know.

[Chrissy]

That'S all you know. But how do you decide which side to sleep on?

[Brian Green]

I get they must sleep on their back.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I mean, one person can't just be floating up there in the air. You know what I'm saying? Can't sleep on the side. Just have one person just kind of dangling about. Just a visual of that just got me funny. Reminds me of my kids when they're, like, crawling all over me. And I just wanted. Sometimes I take that time to just close my eyes real quick to take a nap. Sometimes I'll go, hey, kids, let's go play in the bedroom. And then I just lay down. I swear to God, I do. I just lay down and I. It's tackle daddy time. And I close my eyes, take a quick power nap, and let them just kind of kick me around. It's so much fun. There's a little parenting trick. Someone who's got a lot of kids. When you're really tired, you can still take a nap. You close the door, just make sure they're safe. Put them on the bed, tell them to crawl all over you and take a nap.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Okay. So you remember we were talking about this, how some people are now admitting that they don't co. Share a bed with. Co share. That makes no sense. Co sleep with Their CO share. I think if you're sharing, it's co by nature. I'm just realizing I sound like one of those next door people. Anybody know where to find a CO sharing for more than one person? Bed. Barbara Corcoran of Shark Tank fame said she has kept her 35 year marriage to Bill Higgins fresh through unconventional methods. I don't want to get too deep into this. While appearing on Thursday's edition, one of.

[Chrissy]

Them being a billionaire or however much.

[Brian Green]

I'm pretty sure they're both billionaires. That's a badass bitch right there. She was like the queen of New York real estate agents for a while. Yeah. And she says she keeps the relationship hot and fresh by sleeping in separate bedrooms in order to keep things fun. I've had a separate bedroom with bill for like 40 years. She said I've had to invite him in and he invites me occasionally. Well, listen, okay. While others. Yeah. While others may find this 19 routine a little strange, the 75 year old real estate mogul said that her arrangements add a bit of intrigue and sexiness now that they are able to.

[Chrissy]

My boudoir.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you may enter my boudoir. Excuse the fresh stank as I just dropped a double deuce in my private.

[Chrissy]

I'm picturing like a swirl of lace. Yes, feathers.

[Brian Green]

Feathers. And then you walk into his and it's like old Pictures of Elle McPherson half naked and Ferrari posters. An old Nintendo. Yeah, come on in. Bring some Doritos. Yeah. Listen, I, you know, Barbara Corcoran, if there has ever been on television like the picture of independent business woman setting a great example. I think if you're, if you're into Shark Tank. She is sharp as a tackle and she takes no shit, she takes no prisoners and she makes wise deals as far as I'm concerned. As they all do actually. They're all pretty smart about that in general. Yeah. None of them are hurting for cash, but you know this screen.

[Chrissy]

I love that show. I need to get back to watching it actually.

[Brian Green]

Well, now Mark's leaving, so I don't know.

[Chrissy]

Oh, he's leaving?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I don't know, you know, maybe it's run its course.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I'm sure they will continue.

[Brian Green]

It's been on for years since like I think the first season was like the year I got my divorce. So 2006, 2007. Yeah. So it's been on for 18 years. 17 years. And I would share that. I think most people who enter the shark tank at this point are pretty well versed, which is A good thing. People are learning how to be entrepreneurs and how to get in on the action from this show. But I would have to imagine that if you've been on the show a long time, like Mark or Barbara or, you know, Lori, Lori, Damon, Damon. Who else is on there? Damon, John, Robert Hershevic.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. And then Mr. Wonderful. What's his name?

[Brian Green]

Kevin O'. Leary. Kevin O'. Leary. Kevin o'. Leary.

[Chrissy]

You know, he's the one that's actually has the earpiece in and it's kind of like the.

[Brian Green]

He runs the show.

[Chrissy]

Runs the show. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Well, it's obvious. He stands out as a natural leader and he's the talker and, you know, he's kind of like the Simon Cowell.

[Chrissy]

He is.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Christina]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

But I don't know Kevin o'. Leary. Something about me. Something about him just rubs me the wrong way. I'm not into him.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And it's always been that way, and especially not recently. I don't know. I just don't like Kevin Leary. Kevin o' Leary seems like a capitalist at all expense kind of guy, which is fine because that's what capitalism is. There's no feelings. It's just. Money is transactions. That's it. Make as much as you can, whatever. Okay. That's one way to look at the world. Anyway. When you walk into the shark tank, I think you're already well versed. They're getting a piece of your business the second you walk into there. And I have to imagine if any of these people, people were to actually go to the books and say, did I win? Did I lose? They won because now they are rich. By def. They are rich. And then when they got on the show, they're richer by default because of all the sponsorship opportunities, the money that they're making, the few wins that they get here and there. But I would imagine that on a like a net cash basis, probably most of them have actually lost money. You can't imagine that most of those businesses actually work out now. I. Phenomenal.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. There's some standouts, but I think for. Yeah, the majority.

[Brian Green]

Squatty Potty. Squatty Potty is a standout.

[Chrissy]

The old Squatty.

[Brian Green]

And I love my Squatty Potty.

[Chrissy]

Me too.

[Brian Green]

This episode is not sponsored by Squad.

[Chrissy]

But we did have them as a sponsor.

[Brian Green]

We did. We did. We were actually the only podcast that they had sponsored for a long time, which was so great. And then I don't know what happened. They just. They said, well, that was fun. Well, it lasted. No Shark Tank. There's no Shark tank over there at the commercial break. We didn't move the numbers like that, but I did like the people at Squatty Potty.

[Chrissy]

They were nice.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we did a number of commercials with them. I think we were. They were with us for a couple months anyway, so. Barbara Corcoran sleeping in her own bed does not, like, surprise me so much. But what surprises me is, like, Astrid and I have talked about this, and even though we don't always sleep in the same bed because we have children, and it's a little complicated what's going on in our house right now because of the ages of the children and trying to get some of them to sleep on their own, and some of them need mommy and daddy, and we do co. Sleep with some of the children. So it's. It is a little complicated. At the end of the day, I think sleeping in the same bed is kind of one of those, like, perks of being in a good relationship is that you get to cuddle up.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I do too, but that's me. But whatever works for whatever. I don't really care.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, no, I don't have a. I don't have a dog in the fight. I don't give a. Barbara Corgan sleeps in her own bedroom.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, but I agree with you.

[Brian Green]

But then there's people that. That don't even share the house. Remember that one celebrity that was, like, sharing weird. They had their own house. That is strange. That is when a sister wife makes sense, right? When you're not in the same house. Yeah.

[Chrissy]

You need multiple.

[Brian Green]

And you're barely married to that person. Like, you don't even care what they'd eaten for breakfast. Who was that? Was that.

[Chrissy]

It was somebody who had a lot of money, Right?

[Brian Green]

Was it Gwyneth Paltrow? No, no. Was it Tori's spelling? No, she just got a divorce. I don't know. It was one of those people. You know, the people. And by people, I mean celebrities. It was one of those people.

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah. It was somebody that had enough money to buy two nice homes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But then I was speaking with someone a couple of weekends ago. Someone we don't know. Someone I had met. I'm speaking.

[Chrissy]

You met someone without me?

[Brian Green]

I did meet someone without you. Well, listen, I'm looking for that sister wife. Chrissy. I'm looking for that sister host. We're looking to bring in an extra sister host wanted. Sister host. Thanks.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, put it on next door.

[Brian Green]

I will put it on next door. Let's see what happens. I'm gonna start writing My own next door and see how the comments come out. Yeah, I was looking for a sister host and I was talking to somebody and they were sharing that they don't co. Sleep either and that they. They not married. But they haven't. The last three serious relationships that they have had, they have spent the night in the bed together, obviously at the beginning of the relationship when things are hot and heavy. But then he made a decision that they were going to. That he was going to ask someone to sleep in the guest room instead.

[Chrissy]

I'd be like, I'd be out.

[Brian Green]

I'd be out.

[Chrissy]

What are you talking about?

[Brian Green]

I'd see you later. You know what I'm saying?

[Chrissy]

Ye.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. No, no. Hell no. I would just be like, I will. I'll check you later.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brian Green]

Because that is like where the intimacy is built, I think in a lot of ways, don't you? Like at the beginning of the relationship and things are hot and heavy when you're making love two to three times a year and you're just like having. You're just having a lot of fun. That bed is a place where a lot of the intimacy happens. A lot of conversations, a lot of whispers, you know, sweet nothings in your ear and all that other stu. That's where it happens. So when you at. Maybe there's a reason why he's. Three relationships.

[Chrissy]

I was gonna say. And not married.

[Brian Green]

And not married or in a long term relationship currently because he's asking everybody to leave the room after we have sex. Do you mind spending night in my guest room? I got hot ass right now and I'm just gonna be farting all over the place. I mean, there's a situation too, you know, if there's like some personal, like weird medical. Medical condition that you have. Because I know snoring can tear a relationship apart. I know that for a fact. I have a friend who got a CPAP a long time ago because the wife seriously sat him down and was like, I can't sleep. I'm miserable. Yeah, it's waking up stressed out and tired. You're waking up stressed out and tired because you're not getting a whole night's sleep. You're breathing miserably. This has got to stop. Or we do have to seriously talk about how this relationship looks moving forward. Got that CPAP machine cleared it right up and everything seems right as rain. Of course, there's nothing quite as sexy as a cpap.

[Chrissy]

I know.

[Brian Green]

But it saves lives. And so that's all that really. Yes, that's all that really matters. My mom has been supposed to be wearing a CPAP machine for, like, 15 years. Doesn't wear it at all. And I'm like, mom, you can't do that. You gotta wear your CPAP machine. It looks so weird. Who are you? Who are you looking for? You're not out on the dating scene. I'm like, you're swiping right on Tinder. Mom. No one cares if it looks weird. You're the only one that's looking. That's it. Don't worry about it.

[Chrissy]

Help sleep.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Does Jeff wear a CPAP machine?

[Chrissy]

No.

[Brian Green]

You don't wear a CPAP machine, do you?

[Chrissy]

No.

[Brian Green]

No. Does either. Do either of you snore, like, on a regular basis?

[Chrissy]

No.

[Brian Green]

No. No. Either. Astrid and I don't either, but sometimes she like. And I'm sure I do this too, but sometimes she will snore.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I will have to wake her up. Just kind of give her a little push right off the bed. And then when she hits the floor, she does. It's time to.

[Chrissy]

Was that snoring again?

[Brian Green]

Was I snoring again? She's bleeding profusely from her head. Yes, you were. Why don't you go bandage that up, go to the emergency room and come back around 8:30am we'll be ready to go. All the kids will be ready to go. But, hey, listen to best Barbara Corcoran. Enter. And her best to you, Barbara. You're making a decision that's good for your relationship and that's all. At the end of the day, that matters. It doesn't matter what the commercial break thinks because you know and never did. Yeah, no one's listened to us yet. Why? Why start now? Except for the guy who thinks we're in a grand conspiracy with a Venezuelan government. What's up with that? That's probably Maduro writing that himself. That's my guess. Yeah. He's listening to the. Well, so many Venezuelans listen to the commercial break that I would bet you somebody out there, you know, has. Has heard it. You know, we're. Where? Well, I'm not. I don't want to tell this story yet. We have Joanna. This is a great time to let you know. Joanna Houseman joining the show again this month. And we're super excited because Joho is our favorite. She's a lovely woman. She's Venezuelan, and we're super excited to have her. And I want to talk to her about traveling to Venezuela.

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Brian Green]

Without pissing off the Venezuelan government. I am a plant for the Venezuelan government. Actually, I'm softening up all the ideologies. Yeah. And you know, and fudge you, that's how it goes. Hey, let's take a break. We'll be back.

[Christina]

What? Oh, hi, it's Christina again, here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio, video, and tcbdo. Give us a follow on Instagram hecommercial break and on TikTokcbpodcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-4333, TCB. Once more for the people in the back. That's 212-4333, TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at YouTube.com thecommercialbreak. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

[Brian Green]

It's Masters Week.

[Chrissy]

Yes, it is.

[Brian Green]

Yes, it is. It's Masters week. For those of you who don't know the very prestigious golf tournament. Have you been invited to the Masters yet, Chrissy, have you gotten your invitation?

[Chrissy]

Not yet.

[Brian Green]

Well, Blarney Stone, I don't know why I thought all Irish people got an invitation to the Masters. It's the Masters weekend and so super excited to get into watching the coverage of the golf tournament. It's the one time a year, basically, when I will dedicate a few hours to a sporting event because I do like to watch golf, and I love to watch it on that course because it's so beautiful. And CBS has been handling it for a long time, and they handle it in a certain way. And there's very few commercials and you get to watch all the coverage and it gets exciting, always on a Sunday or a Saturday or whatever it is. And but, you know, they got that live golf thing that's going on right now, Liv. Golf. What a shit show that is. And it's hard to figure out. I don't want to bore everybody with a bunch of sports talk that they're not, you know, that it's not the most popular sport in the world. So I don't want to bore everybody with the talk, but here's how it goes just a little bit. I'll give you a little refresher. Saudi Arabian government gets together with a former, a very notable golf star, Greg Norman, who also owns wineries and all this other stuff. Right. South African businessman. This guy, Greg Norman, has been trying to start an alternative professional golfing league for a long time. So he. He teams up with the Saudi Arabia. Saudi. Oh, I'm just gonna sit here and wait for my mouth to catch up. Saudi Arabian government, who has more money than God.

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

And decides to put together his own league, funded and backed by the Saudi investment fund. Again, more money than God. Hundreds and hundreds of billions of dollars. And they start offering huge paydays to what I would call notable, but maybe not currently, the best golfers in the world. Some of them are good. Dustin Johnson and a couple of others. And there's a couple of defectors who certainly have been great on the circuit over the last couple of years, but not the. The meat and potatoes of the pga. But they're picking them off one at.

[Chrissy]

A time because they're giving him so much money.

[Brian Green]

They're giving him so much money. And Saudi Arabia has obviously a human rights record that is not super fantastic, even though we consider them an ally. I mean, you don't have to be a genius to figure out that the Saudi Arabian government and sbf. Not Sam Bakeman. Freud, but what's his name? Prince Solomon.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Bin Fayed or whatever his name is. Okay. He has been a nightmare for some people living under that regime. And so people are saying you can't take that money because it's kind of blood money, so to speak, and you can't take it. Well, Phil Mickelson becomes the first to sign an official deal with them for like, $300 million, and says, you. I need the cash. Right. Or whatever his line of thinking is, he claims is because the p. He's been telling the PGA to get their shit together for a long time. Blah, blah, blah. A disappointing end generally to an otherwise awesome career.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

He runs over to legendary. Yeah. He takes the $300 million and listen, I can't say what I would do if someone would offer me $300 million right now. If someone offered me $300, I'd probably go work for Maduro in the Venezuelan government. But, you know, I can't say that I wouldn't do the same thing. I'm not in his shoes. I don't know why, if. When he might need $300 million. I've never. That. That's incomprehensible.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

To me. But they have now picked off quite a few players from the pga, and now they're playing this live golf. Live golf is available for any of you that want to watch it on the wb. The wb? Do you even know where the WB is on your dial? Because I sure as shit don't.

[Chrissy]

I know I actually wanted to watch. So did I at one point. And then I lost interest. I never saw where it was.

[Brian Green]

It's not all that interesting.

[Chrissy]

Differently, too.

[Brian Green]

There's teams and there's points, and you can get points for playing on the team. And then, you know, they can have their own franchises, so to speak. So some of the. So, like Dustin Johnson could put together his own roster of players. He's trying to turn it into a franchise that maybe he can sell down the road, like a basketball team or a baseball team. It's pretty complicated. Yeah. And so live golf and the PGA go at each other. They go just they lawsuit, lawsuit, lawsuit, lawsuit, back and forth. It's going to blow up in court. Everyone thinks until a couple of months ago when they make the announcement that they're actually going to team up with live golf, start a separate organization that's for profit because the PGA is nonprofit for profit. And then they're going to team up and all these play. Oh, the other thing is that anybody who went to live golf can no longer play in PGA events or the European version of the pga. They can't play in those events except the Masters. Except. Well, that's an invitational, so that's different because you can get an invitation. And in a lot of cases, if you've won or placed highly in last year's competition, then you can come back by automatic invitation. And so now the Masters is the time when some of these players are going to come back together. And I'm interested to see, really interested to see what happens and if any of these players from live golf actually do well. G. Yeah, I'm. I want to hear. I mean, yeah, you know, it's. The thing is, it's the Masters and it's so highly protected. I don't think CBS is going to show any of that. But I'm really interested. I don't even think they're going to talk about it, but I would be interested to see how they do handle it during this. And, you know, I'm not opposed to like a little MMA action right there on the 17th, you know what I'm saying?

[Chrissy]

I agree.

[Brian Green]

Get Dustin Johnson to wrestle it out with Jordan. Speed.

[Chrissy]

Clubs, Heads, yes.

[Brian Green]

Chasing each other down the throwing clubs at each other. Like me and my brothers play, you know, kicking each other's balls across the. Throwing a ball in the pond. You know, stuff that merely makes golf interesting. Those little arguments that you get all on the course or when you know somebody else is like, what'd you get there? Ah, par. Really? You mean in. In just when you were inside 10ft of the hole? Or was that the entire length of this particular hole? Oh, no, no, no, it's a par. Definitely a par. I play with some, and I swear to God, I'm like, are you sure? Because I was counting. But I also know because I've heard it. I've heard people question me, too. Are you sure? Did you count all of those? And I'm like, I don't even. I have trouble keeping up with myself. How do you keep up with me also? But you do, because you oftentimes pay more attention to the other guy than you do yourself. I'm like, I don't know how many shots I took there, but I know you didn't take four. It was 12. Don't lie. And we play snowman rules, so anything above 8, you just consider it an 8, right? Because, I mean, once you get to 12, 13, yeah. So it's snowman rules. So if you get a snowman, okay, you get a snowman, and then you pick your ball up and you hope you do better on the next hole. Those. That's the kind of competition I want to see. I think we should start our own league, Chrissy. The TCB PGA or the TCB Golf League of America. And here's the, like, here's more interesting shit being thrown in the mix now. Tiger woods and Rory McElroy, I think, have started their own, like, exhibition PGA where they do short courses, little putting greens. They also have, like, interactive, you know, essentially VR golf. And they're going to play these tournaments live on ESPN and have all this shit going on. Tiger woods is invested in some business that. That's kind of like topgolf, but instead it's all putting and all this other stuff. The PGA is in, like, a really weird place right now where everyone is trying to get that. That cash. And so they're all bifurcating these different parts of the sport and different players for the sport. And one of the only places that they will come together now are at these invitations. So they make them, in my opinion, more interesting to watch than maybe in other years. Because now you're like, well, these guys that I don't ever see play because who the fuck knows where the WB is on your goddamn television. I don't.

[Chrissy]

I didn't even know they were still around that was still a channel.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, they're playing on the WB, they're playing on YouTube. But the so far it, the crowds who are watching at home or in person have been underwhelming to say the least. They got like 220,000 people to watch one of their like big tournaments. 220,000 people is nothing to shake a stick at. I'd take 220,000 people all day long. But it is certainly not something you would expect from a professional sporting event. You would expect, yeah, a million people would tune in or something like that. So they're having a really hard time gaining traction as far as revenue is concerned. But it doesn't fudgeing matter, right, because the Saudi investment fund has a coup billion dollars and they are happy to throw that cash for as long as they need to until they get some traction. And that's what's a little bit scary if you care about the PGA is like, you know, oh well, they could just bury them in cash. And so when they agreed to merge, the two of them agreed to merge. Everyone was like, well how the fuck are you going to twist yourself up into that one right now? You just said that no one should go over there. It's a, it's a morality thing. And you know, the SPF and the whole nine yards. That guy who runs the PGA was saying, I would never talk to the Saudis about anything. Then the next day he's like, oh, we're going to merge. And it's like, okay that you're totally full of shit, but okay, at least we'll have all the best players back in one place. Well then a month ago they announced that they have their own line of funding that has nothing to do with the Saudi Arabians. It's all these guys who own these big sports teams here in the United States. They're all going to put together three or four billion dollars and give it to a new venture that the PGA can go on as a for profit company. It is a crazy time, isn't it? Nuts. It's a professional. Golf is in a crazy spot right now. Again, this is what only old white people talk about. But I'm just sharing that I'm excited about the Masters because I'm excited to see how this is handled in the coverage. What happens? Who's talked about. Is there any additional information? SBF on the block. There you go. That's for you. That one bad review. That said, at least I like, at least I laugh when they say hoohah. PCB on the block.

[Chrissy]

Well, it will be interesting.

[Brian Green]

I could talk about this all day long. But before I put everybody to sleep, I figured I'd wrap the show. I get so. I'm so into this. I'm so into reading about it. All the drama. Oh, Chrissy, it's good stuff.

[Chrissy]

We had some good times watching the Masters together.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, We've watched a lot of the. A lot of the coverage. It's a tradition unlike any other. It really is. I mean, if you're into it, then you. Then you know. If you know, you know. And I think it's the one week a year that probably more people watch golf than any other week. It's like you can be not a golf fan at all, have no idea what's going on, care less about who's shooting what, you know, what golf club clubs people are using or whatever. And then you can watch the Masters and go, oh, I could. I see why. This is exciting.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it is. And it's so green on tv. So green. It's so freak.

[Chrissy]

Beautiful under the Aelas or the A Azalea Road or whatever there is again. It's supposed to be a beautiful weekend.

[Brian Green]

I know.

[Chrissy]

Coming up.

[Brian Green]

I wish I had tickets still. Yeah, I used to get tickets.

[Chrissy]

I know.

[Brian Green]

But then I got a divorce. I lost tickets in the divorce. I know. I hear it every year. Listen, I. I love my ex wife. I. I really do. She's just such a lovely lady and her whole family and they had tickets and therefore I had tickets. I lost the tickets in the division. Divorce. Yeah. I asked for him. I asked for him and they said, well, maybe we'll see. We'll see how things work out. I'll tell you what. If we're not using Tuesday practice tickets, when no professional golfers are on the course, who just get to walk around and stare at the trees, then maybe. Maybe we'll call you. Still waiting. Still waiting. Come on. Come through. I'll take those tickets. Even though we've long since been divorced. Do a bro a favor. Do a favor. Bro a solid. You want to be a sister wife one week a year? We can do this. I think we can stand each other.

[Chrissy]

There's a show.

[Brian Green]

Now there's a show.

[Chrissy]

Sister wife.

[Brian Green]

Sister x wife. Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Sister x wife.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. One week a year for the Masters. Brian gets remarried to both women. Probably remarried to my ex and then divorced from my current. And then back with my current divorce from my ex. See how it works out. Tcb podcast dot com. That's where you go. More information about the show at the commercial break on Instagram. TCB podcast on Tik Tok and 212-4333 TCB to be on the show. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas? We'll take them all. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today.

[Chrissy]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

But I'll tell you that I love you.

[Chrissy]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

And best to you.

[Chrissy]

Best to you.

[Brian Green]

Best you out there in the podcast universe. If you're still hanging around the end of this episode. Until next time, Chris. Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say goodbye. You, I take a dick and keep on licking.