So You Married A Gringo...

Summary

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The Commercial Break Podcast

Episode: So You Married A Gringo...

Hosts: Bryan Green (A), Astrid (B, Bryan’s wife, special guest)
Date: February 23, 2024

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Episode Overview

In this delightfully chaotic and honest episode, Bryan is joined by his wife Astrid to candidly (and hilariously) dig into what it’s like to be in a multicultural marriage—the titular gringo (Bryan) and Venezuelan bride (Astrid). Listeners are treated to a blend of comic banter, cultural insights, marital jabs, and in-depth discussion about food, language, family dynamics, and the “marriage miles” system that helps keep Bryan out of trouble. As always, The Commercial Break maintains its self-aware, improvisational, and irreverent tone.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The "Marriage Miles" System

• Marriage Miles Explained:
  Bryan introduces “marriage miles”—a tongue-in-cheek loyalty program in their marriage where acts of service can earn or debit “miles” (credit).
  • Bryan, sarcastically: “Marriage miles, for those of you that don't know, is the system that Astrid and I have in place to determine how much trouble Bryan is in at any given moment…” (01:12)
• Status Update:
  Astrid estimates Bryan is currently 10,000 miles in deficit. Bryan jokes about what level of trouble that means, especially in parenthood.
  • Astrid: “10,000. That's good… you're a father. That doesn't earn you marriage miles.” (02:08)

2. Family Approval & Household Roles

• Report Card from In-Laws:
  Bryan asks how he stacks up against husbands of Astrid’s friends. Astrid (at first diplomatic) calls him a “very good husband.”
  • Astrid: “No, I think you're better.” (04:08)
• Dad’s High Standards:
  Astrid recounts how her dad is a master of detail, always fixing Bryan's previous attempts at handywork, which leads to endearing family banter:
  • Bryan, referencing his father-in-law’s projects: “He will literally come with like, permit drawings… I'm just, just hang the photo!” (07:11)
• Division of Detail:
  “I am big picture type of guy… You and your father are exactly the same in that.” (09:26)
• Running To-Do List:
  Both admit to “saving up” house issues for Astrid’s dad.

3. Multicultural Marriage: Stereotypes & Realities

• How Did They Meet?
  Despite jokes about “mail order brides,” Astrid and Bryan met through mutual connection, not the internet.
  • Bryan, sarcastic: “I do not have a mail order bride. I got her on the Internet. And that's completely different.” (14:11)
• On the Term "Gringo":
  The pair discuss use/non-offense of the word “gringo.” Bryan feels “adopted by Venezuelans” and takes cultural teasing as intended.
  • Bryan: “I know what all of it means, and I take it as intended with love.” (16:05)
• Expectation vs Reality:
  Both never expected to marry someone from the other’s background but found it surprisingly natural, thanks to Bryan's immersion in Venezuelan culture.

4. Culture Shocks: Food, Friendship, and Tacos

• Biggest Challenges for Astrid:
  • Establishing Connections: The hardest part was forming new friendships in the US.
    • Astrid: “...it's maybe establishing new connections… you feel so out of place at first because you, like, miss your things.” (21:19)
  • The Food Issue:
    American food is a shock—more processed, less fresh, less focus on home cooking vs. Venezuela (23:21 to 25:15).
    • Astrid, quoting a friend: “Honestly, the hardest thing to, like, get used to and deal with really is the food.” (22:53)
    • Bryan: “Americans eat terribly... the appearance of choice makes us feel good, but the actual fillers... makes us feel bad.” (24:08)
• Hispanic Stereotypes:
  American confusion about Venezuelan food (no, it’s not tacos), and the assumption that all Hispanic cultures are the same.
  • Bryan: “They don't eat tacos in Venezuela. It's not a fucking thing. You can't just paint every person who's south of the border as the same person.” (27:10)
  • Astrid: “I was even surprised one time when... I said, no, we don’t eat tacos, and he was like—you don’t?” (25:51)
  • Verdict: Tacos = not Venezuelan, Mexican food is rare in Venezuela, each country has distinct traditions (27:33).
• Assumptions About Appearance:
  Both critique the “what does a Venezuelan look like” stereotype.
  • Astrid: “We have all kinds of all races or all colors, all sizes, like tall, short, all the colors for eye colors, all the rainbow.” (29:25)

5. Assimilation, Music, Media & Language

• Lifestyle:
  Astrid feels American and Venezuelan lifestyles are quite similar, with Venezuela being more like the US than Europe in routines, consumer habits, and social life (34:22 to 35:09).

• Music & Pop Culture:
  Astrid's music tastes leaned international-pop, not American classics; still unfamiliar with many US TV shows and bands Bryan references (31:27).

  • Astrid, on Star Wars: “It's the only one I've ever seen. And I was like, no, I went against my will.” (31:53)

• Language Nuances:

  • Astrid is fully bilingual, even dreams in English (40:24).
  • Still sometimes flips “he” and “she” in conversation—a common semantic slip for Spanish speakers (41:16).
    • Bryan: “Things I hear that you still have difficulty with. Sometimes you will say he—I will get angry with you because you were with a boy all by yourself. And then I will realize that you’re just conjugating it the wrong way.” (41:16)
  • Notes English is easier than Spanish regarding gendered nouns (42:24).

• Venezuelan Family Table Habits:
  Bryan observes the fast-paced, multi-convo style at Venezuelan gatherings—everyone talks at once, making it tough for outsiders to keep up (36:37).

  • Astrid: “It's really strange… But we're able… to juggle multiple conversations at the same time.” (37:08)
  • Bryan: “It is hard to get into a conversation if you don't fluently speak Spanish and you're ready to be talked over multiple times.” (38:03)

6. Marital Teasing & “Low Pain Tolerance”

• Playful Marriage Roast:
  Bryan asks what Astrid says about him in Spanish behind his back—turns out, it’s about his (alleged) low pain tolerance, especially when stubbing his toe.
  • Astrid: “That your pain tolerance is on the very lower end of the scale.” (44:00)
  • Bryan: “What does that have to do with Spanish?” (44:15)
  • Astrid: “Your reaction, it’s like Oscar worthy stuff.” (46:08)
  • Both agree Bryan is more of a baby when he gets sick; apparently, that's universal for men, not just American ones.

7. The Family Dog (Blue) Saga

• Dramatic Dog Ownership:
  The couple jokes about giving away their neurotic Yorkie, Blue, whose drama rivals Bryan’s own toe-stubbing antics (51:40).
  • Astrid: “Well, you know how they say dogs are like their owners?” (51:43)

8. The Heartfelt Wrap-Up

• Mutual Appreciation:
  Bryan and Astrid express gratefulness for one another and their combination of American and Venezuelan cultures.
  • Bryan: “Your culture, your attitude toward things, the DNA inside of you, your funny little accent... The food, the warmth, the everything. I think you're a beautiful people. And I'm so blessed…” (52:35)
  • Astrid: “Listen, I feel the same about the American culture. And like we often say, our perfect culture—it’s a mix between what we think is the good from here and the good from my home country.” (53:19)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bryan, on being the family handyman:
  “Let’s be real about this. We’ll ask your dad to hang a painting, and he will literally come with like, permit drawings… I’m just, just hang the photo!” (07:11)

• Bryan, on being a gringo in a Venezuelan family:
  “I have been called a gringo for most of my adult life... and I take it as intended with love.” (16:05)

• Astrid, on stereotypes and Hispanic cultures:
  “I feel like with hispanics in general, they try to put all of us in one box… But for others, like, no.” (25:28)

• Bryan, on Venezuelan family gatherings:
  “Everyone was speaking Spanish... multiple people were having multiple conversations with multiple other people… You jump back into the main conversation, you come back out, you do a side conversation, someone yells something, another person disagrees.” (36:46)

• Bryan, on marriage and love:
  “I love you. I think you being Venezuelan to me, it's part of what makes my love for you so strong… your funny little accent that I love so much and sometimes make fun of here on the show.” (52:35)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Marriage Miles & Husband Report Card: 01:12 – 07:34
• Multicultural Marriage Origins & Stereotypes: 12:13 – 18:28
• Culture Shock & Food Differences: 20:24 – 26:30
• “No, We Don’t Eat Tacos” and Cultural Stereotypes: 25:15 – 29:25
• Assumptions on Hispanic Appearance: 28:49 – 30:08
• Music, Movies, and TV Differences: 30:28 – 33:52
• Language Issues & Multi-Convo Family Dinners: 39:42 – 42:46, 36:37
• Low Pain Tolerance & Marital Teasing: 44:00 – 50:27
• Dramatic Dog Ownership (Blue): 50:27 – 52:35
• Heartfelt Cultural Appreciation: 52:35 – 54:00

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Tone & Style

The episode balances improvisational, affectionate, and sometimes biting humor with real, warm reflections on multicultural love. Bryan and Astrid’s decades-long rapport and cultural differences are evident—there’s playful ribbing, directness, and no shortage of laughter. The tone is self-deprecating, open, and at times, sincere.

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Final Thoughts

Bryan and Astrid’s conversation is a celebration of what it means to blend cultures—not just navigating, but truly enjoying the complexity of their marriage. Food, language, family, and even who overreacts when they stub their toe, serve as entry points into larger discussions about identity and love. “So You Married A Gringo…,” true to The Commercial Break style, delivers laughs with heart—and plenty of marriage miles.

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Transcript

[A]

Would you rather have a radish than sex? If it was good sex, then I would rather have sex. But if it was bad sex, I'd rather have a radish. On this episode of the commercial break. Well, what if I do need some help? You know, who needs some help? Blue, where are we going to do. What are we going to do with this dog, babe? That's my. My last question for the show.

[B]

We should launch a giveaway.

[A]

I thought about this a long time ago.

[B]

I would love to give them Blue.

[A]

I just don't think that would be fair to the person we're giving the dog away to. That's not a giveaway. It's like being punished. It's like you can go to jail or take blue. I. I'd go to prison. I think I'd go to prison. Not being serious. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Greene. This is the greatest achievement of my life. My best friend, my lover, my wife, person who raises my children so wonderfully. Astrid. Astrid. Best to you.

[B]

Best to you.

[A]

And best you out there in the podcast universe. I'm earning marriage miles. Marriage miles? Is that what we're calling it now?

[B]

Yeah, you forgot to say I'm the best. The person that they. That makes the best ayaka.

[A]

You do make the best ayakas, according to other people who have been brave. Brave enough to try those ayakas. I will not be doing that, thank you. Anyway, I. How many, if you had a guess, big round number. Marriage miles, for those of you that don't know, is the system that Astro and I have in place to determine how much trouble Brian is in at any given moment or how much credit I might have in the bank to do something like, I don't know, go out for a night with the boys or do that, or, you know, I don't know, whatever. Go to the tanning bed. How many. How many miles do I have to go in the tanning bed? All right, okay. We won't get into an argument about it here, but on a big round number, how many marriage miles do you think I'm in deficit currently? 10,000? 20,000.

[B]

10,000.

[A]

10,000. That's good. 10,000 probably means that I'm going to get a little bit of the cold shoulder, maybe the side eye every once in a while. She's going to hand me the baby when it's got a dirty diaper, because I have to do those things to earn more marriage Miles. To get myself back to square.

[B]

Not the baby thing though.

[A]

No. I won't do poop.

[B]

That doesn't earn you marriage Miles.

[A]

It doesn't? No.

[B]

Because you're a father.

[A]

Well, that's good. That's why I don't ever. That's why I always complain when I smell on the baby, like, oh, Astrid, how. But I can't do it. I can't do it, baby. You know I can't do it with.

[B]

Listen, we could. We could establish like a new part of the program, okay? Like, you know, where the credit cards. Like you. If you spend. For every dollar you spend, you accumulate.00001, miles. I mean, I could make you the same deal. Like, for every dollar you spend on me, I'll award you marriage miles.

[A]

You're just forgetting one small detail in that whole thing, and that is that I. The commercial break is my living. And the commercial break is more than 10,000 marriage miles in deficit. It's way in the black. We don't. If people would just start paying us, I think we'd be okay. But you know, they. Whatever. Anyway. Onward. I'm not going to talk about it here yet.

[B]

Lifetime program.

[A]

So it is a lifetime.

[B]

You don't have to accumulate them.

[A]

Yeah. And with this current contract we have with the podcast, we will be doing this for a lifetime in order to get even. But, you know, thanks to the good people at Odyssey for taking a chance on us. On average, of all the people, I wanted to ask this of you. And now I'm here on the commercial break. What better place to start a marriage disagreement. On average, of all the people that you know who have husbands, women that have husbands, would you say that I'm better on average or worse on average than the husbands in your friend and family group?

[B]

I mean, I don't want to offend my friends and.

[A]

No, no, this is the perfect place to do it. No one listens to the show. You don't have to worry about that.

[B]

True. No, I think you're better.

[A]

Ah, look at that.

[B]

Look at you. I think you're very good husband.

[A]

Well, thank you. I really appreciate that.

[B]

Welcome.

[A]

On average.

[B]

Listen, I also know how to accumulate.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Smart ass. You're a negotiator. You're a slick one too. You come across as shy. I think that like I am shy. Well, I think you're shy too. When you first. First, yes.

[B]

But once I break the eyes.

[A]

Forget about you.

[B]

Cannot stop me.

[A]

No. Then you go a mile a minute. Astro and I were in the car Today. And there was a 30 minute conversation going on where I never spoke a word. Not one word. I couldn't get a word. On average, better or worse. Do you think. What do you think your mom thinks of me as a husband?

[B]

Oh, my mom thinks you're a very good husband.

[A]

Oh, she does? Oh, well that's news to me. She thinks I'm a good. I don't know, I just assumed. I just assumed that I always had like. I don't know.

[B]

You've never had trouble with my mom?

[A]

No, I never had trouble with your mom. I never had trouble with your mom. And there's a reason why I've never had trouble with your mom. I. Oh, I gotta. You know, I feel like I have to play it cool. Cause I want her to think I'm a fantastic person. Partner for her one and only dog. Okay, Good. On average, better or worse. Do you think. What do you think your dad thinks of me as a husband? Because if we're just going on the amount of times in any particular visit or you know, when we're together, physically together, the amount of times your father says, I Brian. Even when he's not in my space.

[B]

And you're not near him.

[A]

Yeah, babe, he'll be in another room altogether and I'll hear him go, I. But I am.

[B]

And I'm like, what did I do?

[A]

I didn't even do anything. I'm not even in the same.

[B]

You have to. You have. You know, there's got to be some context here. Okay, so. Okay, so let's say my dad was giving you a report card.

[A]

Like a progress report.

[B]

Yeah, like.

[A]

Like the kids.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And like on the list of things that, that mean, you know, that are related to like handy handiwork. Handiwork.

[A]

Stuff you do around the house.

[B]

And you probably get all like non observed.

[A]

No.

[B]

And I know that's a big one for my dad because he's like the complete opposite. He is so. But at the same time, I think on everything else, I do think you.

[A]

High marks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Average marks. Average to high.

[B]

No, I think you got high marks. Okay, I appreciate that he likes you. And the reason why he says I. E. Brian so much, even if you're not near him, it's because it's probably he's doing a project. Right. We asked him to, you know, hang up, hang a shelf. Yeah. But it's like maybe something you tried to do before, like it up and.

[A]

He'S got to fix it.

[B]

So you left like a screw in the wall or something. It's like misplaced or something. So then he. He, like, you know, he makes all his plan and he's drawing and then when he's gonna start the project, he's like, I. E. Ryan, like, meaning, like you're making his job harder, a little bit more complicated because he's got to.

[A]

Fix my mess before he goes in and does it. Yeah, but your dad. I mean, let's. Let's be real about this. We'll ask your dad to hang a painting and he will literally come with like, permit drawings. You know what I'm saying? Like, when you go down to the city office, it's got like architectural engineering, land plans, and we're. I'm just. Just hang the photo. Just make sure that it's straight. That's all. That's all that I'm going to do.

[B]

Make sure it's well done.

[A]

Well, that we know. If your dad does something, he goes back out to that MacGyver shack that he built for himself. I'm sure of it. That tool shack back there, that shed. He goes back there and he finds whatever he can and he'll make whatever we need. He's really quite amazing in that way, actually. And we. I think we've got. We've. We're taking such advantage of your father at this point that there will be lots of times when asked over the last couple of years, especially when Astrid and I will have a chore, a task around the house that we don't think we. Maybe we have this.

[B]

But it's not like, emergency.

[A]

No, no, no, no, it's not an emergency. If it's an emergency, I can, of course I can glue and tape stuff together. I mean, if I need to, I can glue and tape.

[B]

Or you can hire someone.

[A]

Or hire someone to then do it badly so your dad could come and fix it later. Your. We oftentimes will look at each other and say, well, we'll save it for when your dad comes. Yeah, well, your poor fucking father. I mean, he has a list.

[B]

He shows up in the door and.

[A]

We'Re like, hey, dad.

[B]

Yeah, little.

[A]

Little hug. Like a little air hug. And then you're like, hey, dad, can you do me a favor? I need that picture hung. I need to put a roof over there. I need to move that wal 6 inches. The studio needs some attention. My tires are low. Can you change the oil? Do you mind getting up there? He loves it.

[B]

Yeah, I think it's part of. It's become like. It's part of his love language. And it's Certainly.

[A]

Definitely.

[B]

It's certainly also the way. The reason why I also get, like, OCD with things related to that. Like, let's hang a picture in the wall.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm like, okay, we need the tape measure, you know, because I learned from him.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I wanted. I think I. I consider myself, like, I have a very. Like, my eye, you know, when you hang a picture, I can tell, like, it's a. It's a inch off.

[A]

Drives me crazy.

[B]

And you and I are the opposite totally. Which drives me crazy. Yeah.

[A]

I am big picture type of guy. Like, if you need me to, I don't know, come up with a marketing strategy. Right. I can do that. But when it comes to the minutia and the detail, you're not detail oriented. No, no, no. I really focus on that stuff. Some things.

[B]

On certain things. But, yeah, I am very detail oriented, so. Which is not always good sometimes.

[A]

No, there are pluses and minuses. I think every personality type. Like, I know I don't know too many people who are as bad at details as I am, but there are. I know there are people out there who are. But then I know people who are, like, singularly focused on details and I think paralyze some people. Yeah.

[B]

But like, for example, you and my mom are similar in that sense. My mom is also, like, she doesn't get stuff for the little thing, you know, like, she's like, okay, you know, that looks in the wall. Oh, yeah, that looks good. But my dad, like me. We're like, oh, no. You know, it's half a millimeter to the.

[A]

Off to the right or off to the left.

[B]

Yeah, he takes it.

[A]

Yeah, he really. He. You and your father are exactly the same in that. When we built this studio, I tried my best. Tried my best to put this studio together because your father wasn't here, but.

[B]

Well, we did well.

[A]

Yeah, we got it together enough to, you know, hang the TV straight at least and have the curtains there. You did, and you did most of that work. But when he came in, he saw exactly what needed to be done. And within three days, it was done immaculately, perfectly to the. To the centimeter. The sound boxes, he fixed the sound. But we have these big sound panels that run across the ceiling here, which is a vaulted ceiling. It's really hard to hang stuff straight on a vaulted ceiling because it's vaulted. And I had hung one, and it was. Occasionally the fan was hitting it because it was so close to this ceiling fan we have, and your dad came in and put it within Half an inch of the ceiling fan. It's never moved, but correct.

[B]

That's where you would find him.

[A]

Yes, I, I Brian, I Brian.

[B]

You see?

[A]

So I'm glad you're here today. Chrissy's out. She's. She's out. She's out. She'll be back. But it was her birthday. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Happy birthday. We'll. We'll get back to the birthday stuff when she comes back. But one of the reasons why I'm glad you're here today is because over the course of the history of the podcast, you have become a character on the podcast played by me. And you've only been on the show one other time. But people have often commented via text message or whatever about our marriage and what it's like to be married to someone from a different country. We're not talking, you know, in case you can't fucking tell, Astrid has a little bit of an accent.

[B]

I do.

[A]

She. You do. Oh, my God. We're on the phone today and we call. We're calling these places for my mother to help my mother out with something. And we're calling these places, and the first place that we call, it's on speakerphone in the car. The first place that we call, it's very clear. It's very apparent that the woman on the other end of the phone is Asian. She's of some Asian descent and she's got a very thick accent. She's having a hard time understanding Astrid. Astrid's having a hard time.

[B]

But I even picked up.

[A]

Yeah, but Astrid even picked up on that. Yeah, but Astrid is so bad at picking up accents that the next place we call, Astrid takes it off speakerphone and she's talking to the lady for some period of the conversation, and she goes, it's crazy. There's another Asian lady with a really thick accent here. And then she puts the speak. She puts it on speakerphone. There is no fucking way under the sun that this lady is Asian. She's African of some descent. And I know it for sure. I mean, I know this, this accent so well that I'm like, no, no, honey, that lady. There's no way that that lady is Asian. No way I could have sword. Yeah, well, you were wrong about that. But people have asked over the years in different. And had different conversations, asked about what it's like to have a multicultural marriage, which I think is so common these days. I'm, you know, I find it hard to understand how someone can't conceive that. I mean, not like they're being racist or, you know, saying that's a bad thing. They're just some questions from.

[B]

For most people, I would think, and that they find it like, I guess interesting, like, oh, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What is it like, which. It also depends on what culture or different religions like. But I think ours overall, it's not very.

[A]

I don't think we're that dissimilar.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

First of all, I'll say this. Astrid is not a mail ordered bride. So she is. That's not the situation. Right.

[B]

We're not.

[A]

That is going. Yeah. Because when we did that mail order bride breakdown, we did like, you know, three episodes and we reviewed that whole movie about the male Russian mail order bride scam that was going on. Someone had the audacity to text and say, well, this coming from the guy who has a mail order bride. I do not have a mail order bride. I got her on the Internet. And that's completely different. One you mail away.

[B]

I have a mail order husband.

[A]

You do. You got yourself a gringo. So you married a gringo. What do you do now? Astrid and I met through mutual family connections. Yeah, it was. And neither of us wanted to be set up in that manner, but it just worked out.

[B]

I really never thought I was gonna.

[A]

Did you ever think you were going to marry a gringo? But you said that. You said for. I remember.

[B]

Well, I was. I had plans to immigrate to the United States. Yeah. To move out of the country from Venezuela, so. But.

[A]

But you didn't even really think it was going to be the United States.

[B]

But I went to Europe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I never thought I was going to end up here or married to a. A gringo. An American. But also when I say gringo, honestly, when we. It's no offensive, like we don't say it in a negative way.

[A]

I. Please stop with the.

[B]

I don't understand why people feel. I get. I'm. I guess I get it to a certain degree, but I don't.

[A]

And I'll tell you why.

[B]

But we don't really mean it. Like, you know, we're just.

[A]

I tell you why. I'm not a doctor, you're not a nurse. No one's gonna kill anybody. We're just having some fun. I have been called a gringo for most of my adult life because for most of my adult life I've been an adopted Venezuelan. Been one of the few gringos in this very large family. That I have been gracious, that I'm grateful to have been a part of that includes your family. Your family is part of that extended family that I have been with for. For years. And I have been called gringo and pelonis and pinch maricon and all kind of different stuff. And let me tell you something. I know what all of it means, and I take it as intended with love. I think that we all need to desensitize just a little bit. I know you don't mean. I know. And nobody means any harm when they say gringo unless it's coming at me from like an angry.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

And then it's a different story. Right.

[B]

You gotta understand the context. So, yeah, if we're arguing and yelling at each other, and then I'm telling you, you know, you know, pinch a green. Even though we don't say that, that's very messy.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But. But, yeah. What were we saying?

[A]

Well, I want to qualify first. I want to tell this. I want to say this real quick, and then we'll. I want to move on to other parts of multicultural mar. But I want to say this. Astrid and I were not like. This was not some, you know, weird love story that came. It is a very strange love story in and of itself.

[B]

In a good way.

[A]

But in a good way. We didn't meet on the Internet, wasn't on Tinder. I didn't, you know, go to some mail order service. Astrid and I met through mutual family members, and then I fell madly in love with her and chased her around the world until she agreed to marry me and come back to the United States. So there you have it. Stop fucking around. But the other thing that. That I want to say is I never imagined that I would marry a Venezuelan either. But having been around the culture for so much of my life, I think it didn't feel strange to me to be in love with a Venezuelan because I had been around them for so much of my life. So much of that culture is a part of me. Like, I feel it's part of my DNA now. And. And while maybe a lot of Venezuelans may not agree with that, I think I feel like it's in my. My DNA.

[B]

You weren't used to. It was not something completely new to you.

[A]

None of this was foreign.

[B]

It felt familiar.

[A]

The nine Minute Birthday song, the ayakas, the tekanos, the Arena Pepiata, all that other stuff, it's all very familiar to me as. What's that?

[B]

Well, maybe it was new to you in the sense that now you have it almost daily at home.

[A]

Well, yeah. Well, I had it almost daily Anyway, Yeah, I mean, you know, when I was. I was with Raphael.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

24 hours a day, seven days a week for most of my life. So who is my best friend, who is essentially how I got connected to Astrid. So I want to take today's episode and I want to go through some of the things that you may feel having married a gringo. So you married a gringo. And then I'll. I'll retort also.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

What do you think? You think that's a good idea? I think, I feel like that's a good way to waste an hour of our time here on the commercial break. So it's a Friday afternoon episode. Free. I think it's a Friday afternoon episode. I'm just guessing Friday afternoon episode for you out there. We're going to talk about multicultural marriage and we'll be back. Bye.

[C]

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-4333, TCB. And you can text us anytime you want or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year.

[B]

Of course.

[C]

Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok, CBpodcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors, so thank G. And here they are.

[A]

Okay. Most difficult thing about marrying a gringo. What's the most difficult thing about having married a gringo besides being away from your natural environment?

[B]

Hmm.

[A]

Most difficult thing is my penis size. Is it?

[B]

Well, I was gonna say, I was gonna ask you.

[A]

I love making.

[B]

I'm not sure if, if you're making the right question.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, should it be like, what's the most difficult thing about marrying Brian?

[A]

What's the most difficult thing about marrying Brian?

[B]

Can I only say one thing?

[A]

Yeah. Well, you can just go ahead and wait. We have an hour, so go ahead and waste it, hun.

[B]

No, I don't know. That's a.

[A]

What's the culture. What's the culture shock moment for you when you move? When we, when we came back here to the United States, what was the culture shock moment for you?

[B]

I mean, I just need to maybe give a little bit of context.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

This was not all the first time I had Been here? Yeah, I. Because I had family growing up that lived here.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

I came oftentimes as a kid. As a child. Now, being on vacation is not the same as living here, but I was not completely, like, oblivious of, like, what.

[A]

It was to be in America, in the American society. You had had tasted the food, you had been around the culture. You had.

[B]

Yeah. Like, I knew at least the basics. Right. So. But I would say the. I think this is not something that applies just to me as a Venezuelan. I would think in general, the hardest thing, it's maybe establishing new connections.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

You're. Especially when you first, like moved here, you feel so out of place at first because you, like, miss your things. And it might sound silly, but it is true. It's like you miss the little, you know, the little cafe you used to go to or hanging with your friends and stuff like that. And then you come in here and it's like, you don't know, how, how can I make friends? Because it's. It's a different culture.

[A]

It's a totally different culture. So. So. Yeah. And I would say too, that in your early 20s, having a friend group that's already established.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Because Venezuela is such a hot fudgeing mess. Or was such. I mean, still is a hot fudgeing mess, but was a real hot fucking mess when you left. All of your friends also dissipated throughout the earth also. They didn't, you know, not a lot of them stayed in Venezuela, if any of them stayed in Venezuela. So they're all over the world. And then now you have to reconnect. You have to find a way to make a new friend group, to do new things with new people. Was the food a culture Sock? I mean, I know, you know, the American food. Yeah. It's a big difference.

[B]

It was not a shock to me. Like, I knew, but I would say that's. I was. The other day, I was talking to another, a fellow Venezuelan that I know here, and we were talking, hi, Venezuela. And then. And she said this and, and I agreed with her. And she said, honestly, the hardest thing to, to like, get used to and deal with really is the food. Yeah, she. She said that. And I was like, I don't disagree.

[A]

Americans eat terribly.

[B]

Yeah, I don't disagree. It's just, just, it's amazing. I mean, the, the food variety. Variety here, it's wonderful. Like, I love going to the grocery store and having like, oh, my God, the aisle, a million selections and the cereals. It's like you, you're. Your head explodes. But in reality, you, like, you're not gonna live off cookies and cereals, Right? So I don't know. In Venezuela, we eat a lot of.

[A]

Like, fresh stuff, like fruits, vegetables, proteins.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah.

[A]

I think when you go to Spain, you see a little bit of this. Not much, but you see a little bit of this. Or certainly places.

[B]

But also. Yeah, like, we are in that sense, like, food wise, we're more like Spain. So when we've been there, it feels more authentic. And it's always more of like homemade food. But like, when I say homemade food, it's not like mixing a bunch of like, different cans in a crock pot.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's like, I mean, in Venezuela you don't even have the option to get like chopped onions in the store. No. You have to buy the onion and shop at your, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's like. And I see the prongs and the cons to, you know, both.

[A]

I think we fill our grocery stores with fillers, right. It.

[B]

The.

[A]

The appearance of choice makes us feel good, but the actual fillers, the stuff that we don't really need to eat, but we eat anyway, makes us feel bad. It makes us sick, and it makes us feel bad. And I've heard this from a lot of people in a lot of different cultures around the world, which is Americans eat like. And the availability of that is so voracious that it's hard not to make those choices. When you can pick up the phone and have a pizza at your door in 10 minutes, when you can go to any corner and go to Chipotle. I mean, I guess Chipotle is better than some. But, you know, McDonald's or Wendy's or whatever it is. I can see how food would be a big deal for your culture and you bring the Venezuelan food into our house. Now, I've eaten a lot of Venezuelan food before I met you, but now that I'm married to you, we eat a lot of Venezuelan food. I love it. I think it's all very delicious. And no, it's not tacos. So let's just take that. Let's just take that thought. Right. I think that's got to be my opinion.

[B]

That's a misconception.

[A]

Yeah. Too stereotype is what it is.

[B]

Well, it's like. Yeah, I think people. Well, listen, fair enough. If you don't know, you don't know, you don't know.

[A]

And stereotypes are often true in some small way or big way.

[B]

I feel like with his panics in general, they try to put all of us in one box. And for some things that might apply, but from, for others, like, no, I, I was even surprised one time when you, one of your brothers was like, surprised when I said, no, we don't eat tacos.

[A]

And he was like, crazy.

[B]

And he was like, you don't? And I'm like, no, actually Mexican food in Venezuela is not a big thing.

[A]

No. You don't have Mexican on every corner.

[B]

Like two Mexican restaurants. Like, no. 1. It's not, it's not even popular.

[A]

Yeah. And by the way, the food that we.

[B]

Oh, and I love it here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

By the way.

[A]

But the food that we eat here, that we consider Mexican food is Tex Mexican food. Correct. It's not even real authentic Mexican food. I mean, I'm sure there are a lot of places that do serve authentic Mexican food, but like, if you go down to the local, you know, just run of the mill Mexican restaurant that everybody has on the corner, what they are serving, they're serving a very American version of their.

[B]

Well, they have food from. They have to adapt to the market here.

[A]

Go back in the kitchen of one of those Mexican restaurants and ask them to cook you actual Mexican food.

[B]

House.

[A]

Yeah. Or go to the house of the.

[B]

Chef, have them cook for you.

[A]

Right. It's completely different. And this is one thing that does surprise me too, about our relationship and having field fielded. I don't know how you say that, having fielded a lot of questions about Venezuelan culture is how many goddamn people think that, oh, how are the tacos? Are they good? And I'm like, they don't eat tacos in Venezuela. It's not a fucking thing. You can't just paint every person who's south of the border.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

As the same person. It makes no sense.

[B]

I might be wrong also. I'm not an expert in all of, you know, the South America, the Latin American countries, but I feel like the taco kind of culture, it's more like Central America, which of course the, the big one is Mexico, but I think maybe Guatemala, El Salvador, you know those countries? I think so. I might be wrong.

[A]

There's another stereotype that I think you get a lot is that all Hispanics are the same and all Hispanics know all the other Hispanics.

[B]

No, we don't.

[A]

It's like. No, you don't. They. It's just like any other country. I don't know any. I don't know. People in Canada don't know what they eat, have no idea. Just because we look alike doesn't mean we are alike.

[B]

We have smaller countries talking like, you know, geographically, like the sizes. Yes, but still, even though we're smaller countries, it's like each country has their own cultural differences. Even we speak the same language, but we have completely different accents. Just like, you know, an American and a British and a South African. Sure. You all speak English.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

But you don't have the same accent.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So the same thing applies for us Spanish. We all have different accents, even different words that we use to describe different things or name different things.

[A]

You speak a different type of Spanish, you know, with. With different vernacular, different slang words, different, you know, different accents. Another thing that I have heard, not frequently, thank God, but I have heard sometimes is people are like, oh, she doesn't look Venezuelan. What does a Venezuelan look like? Exactly.

[B]

We don't look like.

[A]

Because you're light skinned, they think that you have to be some different color to live down near the equator or whatever. They believe it's kind of a ridiculous notion and a dumb stereotype.

[B]

Well, in Venezuela we have a lot of. There's not really a Venezuelan physical stereotype because.

[A]

Well, there is. Beautiful. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Didn't you win like 10 miss universes in a row? Not you personally, but yes, we did. Didn't Donald Trump run that Miss Universe? Yes, yes. Okay, so just throw that out there. Take that grain of salt.

[B]

We, yeah, we don't. There's not a stereotype. We have all kinds of all races or all colors, all sizes. Like tall, short, you know, all the colors for eye colors, all the rainbow.

[A]

All the colors of the rainbow exist in Venezuela as they do here in the United States.

[B]

Exactly the same.

[A]

It's exactly the same.

[B]

Can you draw a picture of how all Americans look like? No, they are all different.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I can draw a picture of what all Americans look like. I just draw a big round tummy. That's all I do. Do you guys have an obesity problem? Like we have an obesity problem here? No, no.

[B]

We do have obese people.

[A]

Yeah, they're all around the world, but yeah, they're people all around the world.

[B]

Yeah, that. I mean, that, that is a problem for some people in Venezuela, but we don't have. It's not like here that. It's a true.

[A]

It's a true issue.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Over 50 of adult Americans. Yeah, it's crazy culture shock with music.

[B]

Well, yes and no meaning.

[A]

Like, I mean, I know there are cultural differences.

[B]

I guess my listen, I like. Of course I like my music.

[A]

I know you love reggaeton and that's your Favorite brand of music?

[B]

No, I don't. What? Oh.

[A]

Oh, sorry. It's the wrong button there.

[B]

No, but I don't know if it's like. Well, yeah, I guess. Yes, I grew up, you know, my type of music. Even though I did listen to some American music, but it would go more on, like the pop. You know, the very famous.

[A]

The stuff that goes around the world. Correct. The international pops.

[B]

And also you have a very particular. Well, I mean, you're very broad. You know a lot about music. I don't. So you. You, like, listen to a lot of genres and. And that was all new to me. I was. I. Yeah, there's still to. To this day, you name people and bands that I've never heard of.

[A]

Yeah, there are some. There are some bands or movies that I will say some things that I think are just like universal pop culture that are clearly not universal pop culture. You've never seen any of the Godfathers, have you?

[B]

No, but that is pretty popular in Venezuela.

[A]

Okay, that's good.

[B]

But no, I have never paid.

[A]

Have you ever seen Jaws?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Have you seen any of the Star Wars? I mean, besides the one you went and saw with me. Why do you. What do you have against Star Wars?

[B]

It's the only one I've ever seen. And I was like, no, I. I went against my will.

[A]

You went against your what? Did you enjoy any of it?

[B]

No.

[A]

Be honest.

[B]

I was counting down the minutes.

[A]

Were you really?

[B]

I was.

[A]

That's like me with that. I don't know what movie you took me to see. One of the 50 shades of gray. No, no, no, no. The other one. Under the.

[B]

After.

[A]

Under the Fruit of the Tree or Our Love Never Ends or whatever it is. That one night only to see this movie. There were seven people in the theater. The movie was an hour and a half long and literally an hour and 27 minutes of that. Was this guy just walking around this beautiful house in Italy being sad. It was a terrible.

[B]

Was that movie called After. After the Final Chapter.

[A]

The Final Chapter. How were the other chapters?

[B]

Much better.

[A]

It was so bad, babe. It was so bad. Movies, television shows. Did you. Do you. Were you exposed to American television? I mean.

[B]

I mean, in Venezuela. Yes. With cable, of course. You have access to not every single show. It depends on. Also, we don't have the same channel, so it depends on what not. You know, like, it would be like Sonny, we have a channel, Sonny Entertainment Television.

[A]

And they would bring American movies in.

[B]

American television that I guess they buy the rights or something. So it was not. Not Everything you have here. But I guess now it's different because now it's Netflix and.

[A]

Yeah, everything kind of goes all around the world.

[B]

I mean, I guess even still Netflix.

[A]

Sometimes blocks some shows.

[B]

Yeah. So you have some stuff available here that you don't have elsewhere. But I did. But I was. I really. Well, I mean, friends, I would watch Friends.

[A]

Friends, your brother said they watched South Park a lot and Family Guy and stuff like that.

[B]

Yeah, all the cartoon, like the kids cartoons. Yeah.

[A]

And the adult cartoons.

[B]

Yeah, the adult cartoons, the Simpsons, all of that. But I. No, I never cared for that.

[A]

So you're a citizen now, right? You have been for a couple of years. Do you feel assimilated? Do you feel assimilated into the culture?

[B]

I do.

[A]

You do? I think you are.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I don't think there's anything that phases you anymore. Like, I don't think there's like stuff where you go, oh, what do we do here? Or how does this work? Or. At first there were a few things, but it wasn't many. It was a lot less than I thought it would be, actually. Yeah, I think you assimilated very quickly because I believe that your life in Caracas was not that dissimilar to my life in Atlanta.

[B]

It's really not.

[A]

Besides all the protests in Chavez, I.

[B]

Mean, honestly, our lives are. We live the same way people do here. Like, we have the same routines.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You know, yeah. Maybe the restaurants where we're eating, they're not, you know, we're not serving the same food or stuff. But overall in Venice, I think I can generalize. Here in Latin America, the Latin American lives are very much follow like an American lifestyle.

[A]

Yes. Yeah, it's very.

[B]

I mean, not in certainly as opposed like to European. Like, we really go more towards the American, you know, like the comfort and the big cars and all that.

[A]

Big cars, fancy entertainment centers, bigger house parties. Yeah.

[B]

Not like in Europe where everything is crammed.

[A]

It's all crammed into like a 10 foot wide space. Yeah. And I do get that sense. Like, I've never been to Venezuela. I hope we get to go someday, but I've never been to Venezuela. But I do get the sense that your life there was just not all that different from your life here besides your friend's family and the language, which I would like to get into, because I would like to understand exactly what you and your family are saying behind my back so that I can.

[B]

You did.

[A]

Well, I do understand. Unless all of you are talking at the same time, which unfortunately, yes, if there's more than two Venezuelans in a room. They're all going to be talking at each other at the same time. You know how, like, Teresa Caputo, we're always making fun of Teresa because she's having multiple conversations at the same time. Like, how are you Venezuelan? No, she's not. I don't think. I don't know what she is. She's an idiot is what she. She comes from the land of idiots. I'm not sure, but I always wondered how she had all these ghosts talking to her and she was still having a conversation with a person right in front of her. But I'm starting to maybe think that's that I observe this in my own life. And I'm wondering if I'm wrong about this, because you Venezuelans, if you're. I just. I'll never forget there was one time we were at this house, the house that we're at now, and there was eight of you sitting around the dining room table. Dinner was done, kids were in bed, everyone was talking, and it was sitting in the middle of the table, and everyone was speaking Spanish. But I was watching as multiple people were having multiple conversations with multiple other peoples. Like, they were having a conversation with one person.

[B]

There's, like a main conversation.

[A]

There's a main conversation, side conversations, but you're still in on the main conversation. You jump back into the main conversation, you come back out, you do a side conversation, Someone yells something, another person disagrees.

[B]

Like, if we all have add.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When it comes to conversation, it's really strange. But we're able still. We're smart enough that we still, like, we're able to juggle.

[A]

Juggle multiple conversations at the same time. Well, my brain does barely speak Spanish, and I. While I understand it pretty well, I don't think I'm, like, fluent. I don't think I fluently understand it. Sometimes I have to ask and stop, and sometimes I get words wrong. But it's an amazing skill set that you have. Because if I'm sitting at a table with my friends, trying to have a conversation, like, I don't.

[B]

I don't find it very. Like, now that I realize that that's really how we are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I find that it's very rude. I think I'm Venezuelan saying this.

[A]

Can I be honest with you? I think it's kind of rude, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Not. Is it not rude intentionally?

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

I think someone is edging. Not on purpose conversation. Right. But I have noticed that in the Venezuelan culture, it is hard to get into a conversation if you don't fluently speak Spanish and you're ready to be talked over multiple times, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that, to me, doesn't feel great sometimes. Like if I'm sitting at a table with, let's just say, my brothers, right? I have three brothers. So let's say we're having a conversation. Each person talks, they take their turn. Maybe this, maybe it's here. Yeah.

[B]

We're not like that.

[A]

And we speak over each other for a minute, but it's like, wait, hold on. We both can't talk at the same time because no one's going to hear anything. But that's not at all how it happens in the Venezuelan culture. And so for that, my love, I must tell you that it's the one thing that I'm not so jazzed about, the Venezuelan culture, but maybe just as a person who doesn't speak the language all that well, and I just want to understand what's going on. All right, we're speaking with Astrid about all things Venezuela here on the commercial break as we transition into a bilingual show here. Pretty soon we're going to know. You going to translate what I say in Spanish? No. We'll be back. Let's take a break. And we'll be back.

[C]

I know you're already on your phone, so pull up Instagram and follow us at the commercial break, and then follow us on TikTok@TCB podcast.

[B]

Done.

[C]

Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not Text us hello at 212-4333, TCB? Or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story or anything, really. We're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-4333, TCV. And don't forget to check out TCVpodcast.com because that's got it all. Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the commercial break.

[A]

All right, so language. What do you feel is still difficult about the English language, the American version of English language?

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

Well, here's.

[B]

I mean, there are things. I mean, I'm a fluent English speaker. It's my mother tongue, but yeah, I'm fluent.

[A]

Do you think in English?

[B]

I do. I've got into that. You know, one time I heard that you are, like, for sure bilingual when.

[A]

You start thinking, when you dream in English. Oh, that's very interesting.

[B]

That has happened to me already.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

I mean, a long time ago, but yes. So I am very confident when I talk in English. I know that I do. May still make mistakes here and there or don't pronounce the. Some words correctly or. But I don't. I'm not like self. So it's like I've gotten to the point where I don't care.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And if maybe you didn't understand, then you know people, and that's okay. Like, I don't feel bad about it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But. Well, that's not a good question for me because I've been bilingual my whole life.

[A]

Yeah, that's true. Things I think use. Things I hear that you still have difficulty with. Sometimes you will say he. I will get angry with you because you were with a boy all by yourself. And then I will realize that you're just. You're just conjugating it the wrong way.

[B]

Yeah, but, you know, that's very common. That's not me.

[A]

No, I know. It's all. It's.

[B]

It is super crazy about. There's something about when you're talking, you know, within a certain speed, like, fast.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Not like super slow, where you have the time to actually think every word that you're saying. No. When you're, you know, just having a conversation, it's. For some reason, I don't know what happens in our brains, or I'm gonna speak for myself in my brain, that it's like I can carry a whole conversation saying he, she, or even mix them.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And I'm just talking about.

[A]

That's it. You're just talking about a he or a she. And I've noticed this so much. I think you have. Sometimes you can have difficulty with certain pronunciations.

[B]

I think that's certainly different from our language. Maybe.

[A]

And that's why it's the most confusing thing. And I don't understand.

[B]

I don't know why.

[A]

I don't know why. I don't know why.

[B]

I don't really know why.

[A]

But for me, it's. One of the hardest parts of speaking Spanish is making sure that you're appropriating it in the correct way. Appropriating the sentence in the correct way. The male and the female. Yeah.

[B]

But it's hard for you guys, too, because all of our things have genders.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So even a table has a gender. It's. Is it a he or a she? And it's just a table.

[A]

It's a she.

[B]

Yeah. Correct. You guys don't have that. Like, things don't have a gender in English. No, but I. I don't know. Honestly, I don't I don't even know what the explanation is as to why that happens, but it happens.

[A]

Do you stay. Do you ever still get nervous about speaking out loud in English sometimes? No, not like. I mean.

[B]

I mean, you would, you know. Well, when you asked me to come on the show for the first time, you were worried that I got nervous. But see, this is what's crazy, because I'm shy, like, in front of cameras and stuff like that. Maybe that's where I come from, but. Or if you hand me a microphone in a crowd and go speak. Hey, go. If I don't. If I had not planned for it.

[A]

Oh, yeah, no, I remember at our wedding, I was like. Or it was a wedding, a baptism, something. And I was like. We had a microphone, and it was like, okay, honey, do you want to say something to the crowd? And you were like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not singing into the crowd. So what is. Tell me what you say about me behind my back in Spanish.

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

That I don't say to my face.

[B]

To your face?

[A]

Never. You and your family don't get together and say anything?

[B]

No.

[A]

No. Not even when I refuse to play board games?

[B]

I'm going to say something, but you already know this.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Even though you might deny it, that.

[A]

Here we go.

[B]

That you.

[A]

Here. It is here.

[B]

That your pain tolerance is on the very lower end of the scale.

[A]

My pain tolerance?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you mean, my pain tolerance?

[B]

Pain tolerance, like, when you hit your toes with, like, the.

[A]

What does that have to do with Spanish?

[B]

With Spanish? You said, what does my family say.

[A]

About me in Spanish behind my back that I could learn that my pain tolerance is low? That's what we're talking about. I am a man, Astrid. I think my sick tolerance is low.

[B]

But I don't understand the question.

[A]

The question is, do you guys say anything in Spanish behind my back where I could pick up on it? Like, I want you to let me in on some secrets when you guys say this. So what do you say about me? About the pain tolerance? How do you say that in Spanish? How would you say that in Spanish? He's.

[B]

Well, we can have a whole conversation.

[A]

About it in Spanish.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, tell me. Well, I mean, is there, like, a word. I want to know if there's a word your family uses. Oh, okay.

[B]

No, we're not using, like, any. No, you mean, like a bad word?

[A]

Yeah, like something, you know, some pejorative word that you use or some negative word that you use that I can listen for next time I'm In a conversation and go, oh, yep, they're talking about me. What is. How do you say low pain tolerance? How do you say that? What?

[B]

I mean, pain is dolore. I don't know. I don't think we have one word for that.

[A]

Okay, now here's a real question that has nothing to do with Venezuela.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, you think my pain tolerance is low.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Even though. Correct. You see? I see.

[A]

Okay, but let me. Let me.

[B]

I. I knew you were gonna deny.

[A]

Let me debate. I'm not denying. I'm. Let me debate for a second. If my back hurts on a Tuesday and I don't say anything for the.

[B]

Entire day, that doesn't count though.

[A]

Why doesn't my back count?

[B]

Because you live with back pain. But, like, we're not. No, like, take the back.

[A]

Okay, so if I stub my toe, you think I get over dramatic about it?

[B]

You do.

[A]

You think I get overdramatic about it? Doesn't stubbing your toe hurt? Do you. Do you think stubbing your toe hurts?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Okay, well, just.

[B]

Yeah, but it's not about that. It's like your reaction. It's like Oscar worthy stuff.

[A]

I'm scared worthy. I just don't want to cuss in front of the kids, so I often retreat into another room.

[B]

Throw yourself in the floor. I mean, you should ask Gustavo. He's the one that has done the imitation of when you hit.

[A]

Gustavo has an imitation of when I stub my toe. So I have a. I have a whole thing because I. I hurt myself when I stub my toe because it hurts. Now I'm. All of a sudden. I have a low pain tolerance. Yeah. Okay. All right. I'm gonna remember that next. Next time someone stubs their toe, I'm gonna remember that.

[B]

I'm not saying it's something that doesn't hurt.

[A]

It does hurt. Yeah, it does hurt. And I do stub my toe a whole bunch. I don't know why. There's just a lot of protruding things in our house. I don't think my footnotes yet. Listen, I do understand part of the reason why I not maybe not drop to the floor, but part of the reason why I'll often leave the room is because if we didn't have children and I stubbed my toe, I'd be like, oh, you know, I'd have to get it out. I just say some words and get it out. You know, that first rush of pain and you're like. Or whatever you want to say now that we have children. I don't Want them to see their daddy yelling and screaming every time he hits his toes? Because I'd run around the house all day yelling and screaming about how he hit my toe. So now I internalize. I fall to the ground, I put.

[B]

My hands over my toes like you're having a heart attack. Heart attack in front of the kids. And the only thing that happened is you hit your toe with.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. I can't believe you think that this is traumatic. I can't believe it. Here I thought. Here I thought.

[B]

Listen, you can do a poll. A poll.

[A]

A poll.

[B]

A poll.

[A]

Not a poll, a poll. Okay.

[B]

I could do a poll amongst my family members.

[A]

Yes, when you stub my toe.

[B]

No, when you air this.

[A]

When I air this, I'm gonna ask your family members what they think of me.

[B]

And then you say, do you think asterisk? Right? Or.

[A]

Brian, I'm never gonna complain again. I'm never going to complain again about anything. I'm gonna literally walk in here with my arm dangling off one day and I'm gonna be like, everything's good. Fine. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna say a word. I gotta be honest. I do stub my toe a lot and it really does hurt very bad.

[B]

No, but it. Like, overall. Do you think that you have low pain tolerance?

[A]

No, I don't. I think I do. I think I do become a baby sometimes when I get hurt, but I don't think it's really about when I get hurt. I think it's more about when I get sick. When I get sick. I hate being sick. It drives me crazy. So I definitely think I'm a baby when I'm.

[B]

Yeah, but you're a man, so.

[A]

Yeah, I think that's pretty.

[B]

It kind of comes.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, I apologize to all the men out there listening to me, but.

[A]

Well, they all know it, baby.

[B]

Sorry, guys. True.

[A]

It's true. It's a thousand percent true. Are men in Venezuela just as big a babies when they get sick?

[B]

Oh, yes.

[A]

And.

[B]

And it's. It's. It doesn't matter. It. The.

[A]

How did the guys in Venezuela handle when they stubbled their toe? Is everything okay down there?

[B]

They continue with their lives like nothing happened.

[A]

I continue with my life like nothing happened.

[B]

After five minutes, you're so.

[A]

You're. Now you're being dramatic.

[B]

I'm going to record you, okay?

[A]

Record me.

[B]

Put it on an Instagram.

[A]

I allow it. I allow it. Record me. Next time I stub my toe, record me. We'll see if that's an overreaction because I think I'm.

[B]

No, because now you're not going to overreact. New you're going to be like, crying on the inside.

[A]

Never going to tell you again when I hurt myself. I don't want to be a low pain tolerance kind of guy, but I am a low pain tolerance kind of guy. I don't think I have low pain tolerance, but I don't think I have high pain tolerance either. That's for sure. But, you know, what are you gonna do?

[B]

Well, but listen, you have, like, blood tolerance.

[A]

I have blood.

[B]

Don't.

[A]

You have no tolerance to anything red in color? Yeah, that's true. That's true. You faint a lot. And I over dramatize my toe stubs. So I guess in that sense, we're perfect for each other. Yeah, because when the major medical incidents happen, I can take care of them. And when I stub my toe, then you can take care of me. How's that?

[B]

Then you don't need no one to take care of you for hitting your toe.

[A]

Well, what if I do need some help? You know who needs some help? Blue, where are we gonna do. What are we gonna do with this dog? Babe? That's my. My last question.

[B]

We should launch a giveaway.

[A]

I thought about this a long time ago.

[B]

I would love to give them Blue.

[A]

Yeah, I just don't think that would be fair to the person we're giving the dog away to. That's not a giveaway. That's like being punished. It's like, you can go to jail or take Blue. I. I'd go to prison. I think I'd go to prison not being serious. Listen to her. She's just barking for no reason. Why is she barking? Because it's close to time to being fed. Yeah, I know. Why did we choose to get that dog again? Why did you choose to get that dog again?

[B]

Because I moved here and I was very lonely.

[A]

Yeah, okay. I get it. I got it. It's a time. I got it. And to be fair to Blue.

[B]

Yeah? I'm okay now. So, Blue, you can go.

[A]

She's with us for the next 30 years. You know that, don't you? She's gonna live to be a hundred. You know it. You know it. Just like I know it. That dog is gonna outlive both of us. We're literally gonna have to put her in our will. And she gets crazier by the minute. You think I'm dramatic about my toe? Blue's dramatic about everything.

[B]

Well, yeah, that's for sure.

[A]

Oh, God, it drives me crazy.

[B]

Well, you know how they say dog. Dogs are like their owners?

[A]

Yeah. Okay, don't even go there with me. I told you when we got that dog. What did I say in the parking lot?

[B]

You are the owner.

[A]

I'm the paperwork says Brian Green. What paperwork goes along with ownership of a dog? Okay, riddle me this. Okay? She's registered in my name. Riddle me this. When we were sitting on that dirt road in front of that trailer, waiting to go inside and get blue, what did I say to you? I said, are you sure you want a Yorkie? Because they're going to be. But they're cute and obnoxious. Yeah, they were cute. For the whole ride home, she was cute.

[B]

And they're hypoallergenic.

[A]

Well, that's true. We did have to get that because I'm. My pain tolerance is low, so we couldn't.

[B]

That's.

[A]

So we couldn't get it.

[B]

Your allergy tolerance is also low.

[A]

Well, I do have to say this. This as a. As a kind of stopping point here. I love you. I think you being Venezuelan to me, it's part of what makes my love for you so strong. Your culture, your attitude toward things, the DNA inside of you, your funny little accent that I love so much and sometimes make fun of here on the show. The food, the warmth, the everything. I think you're a beautiful people. And I'm so blessed, I think, to be in the orbit of the Venezuelans.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

You're welcome. Now I'm gonna go wrap my toes in bubble tape.

[B]

Listen, I feel the same about the American culture.

[A]

Oh, thank you.

[B]

And like we often say, our perfect culture. It's a mix.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Between what we think it's like the good from here and the good from my home country.

[A]

Is that what they say?

[B]

No.

[A]

You and I. Oh, you and I. Yes. I'm sorry. I forgot that conversation. I was on the floor with my toe. You're never gonna live that one down. Never. All right. Okay. There it is. A little insight into the multicultural marriage that is Brian and Astrid. And. Yeah. I love you.

[B]

I love you.

[A]

I love you with all my heart. Very much. So can we go make some marriage? 5,000marriage points for today's episode. Am I gonna get deducted for any reason on this episode? Because if so, I'll edit it out.

[B]

No, I don't think.

[A]

No, you're good. Okay, good. No, I don't think it's been an enjoyable episode of the commercial break, I hope. Listen, Chrissy, And I come, we yuck it up all the time. It's a bunch of fun. We talk about stupid. But I do like every once in a while when we can have like a, an actual conversation. So thank you. I really appreciate it.

[B]

I love you.

[A]

Thank you. I love you. You're my best friend. All right, tcb podcast.com that's where you go. You find out more information about the show. You can watch all the video. You can listen to all the audio video right there from one location. Tcbpodcast.com what's so funny?

[B]

Not all the video.

[A]

Well, not all the video, but most of the video. We'll get back to it. I swear to God. We will add the commercial break on Instagram. TCB podcast on Tick tock. Just go to Instagram. Don't even bother with Tick tock at the commercial break. And YouTube.com the commercial break, that's where you go. You can find all the video that we have edited and put out there is also on the YouTube channel. Also YouTube.com the commercial break. It would be nice if you would go there and subscribe, like and comment on your favorite video. We certainly would appreciate it. Also, if you want your free piggy fronting sticker, you know what you have to do? You have to go to the contact us button on the website, drop your physical address, and then Astrid, this beautiful lady will send you a sticker for free. No problems, no question. Yeah, when she gets around to it. Sorry, are you a couple weeks behind? We have to get on that. We'll get on that. Don't worry about it. 212-433. TCB. That's 212-4333. TCB. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, we take them all right there. Ask Ryan's mom. Ask tcb. You need some advice? You can leave a text message, you can leave a voicemail, whatever you choose, it'll ring right here in the studio and one of us will answer you. I promise we will. Okay. I guess that's all I can do for today, hun. But I'll tell you that I love you.

[B]

I love you too.

[A]

And I'll tell you, best to you, best to you and best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Astrid and I will say, we do say. And we must say goodbye, Sam. Yeah, boy.