Someone Check on Bryan!

Summary

Podcast Summary

The Commercial Break – “Someone Check on Bryan!”
April 25, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

In this riotous episode, Bryan and Krissy dive deep into contemporary scams, questionable “success gurus,” and the wild world of adult-themed cruises. The show opens with an absurdly funny fake news sketch about small-town mayhem, then launches into classic TCB banter, lampooning the never-ending saga of Fyre Fest, the idiocy of scammy streaming services, and the dubious inspiration behind the world’s most famous self-help hucksters. The last half gleefully dissects the "Temptation" swingers cruise scene through the lens of a bland online review, injecting their own snarky commentary and not-so-delicate queries.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Satirical News Skit: WSHIT Update

• [00:04] The episode opens with a farcical “WSHIT News” segment about unrest in the fictional town of Crabapple, featuring mayoral decrees on mango margaritas and alcohol consumption.
  • Memorable moment: "We're making deals while the piggies squeals..." (Bryan in character)
  • Citizen commentary on drink limits: "Two drinks a week? Well, that's just not feasible, not in this country. ... I'll have six, but four is a fair number." [01:35]

2. Rant: Fortune Favors the Lucky (Not the Bold!)

• [02:39] Bryan rails against the myth of meritocracy and “self-made” billionaires, crediting luck over brilliance:
  • Quote: "Fortune favors the bold. Fuck you, it's luck. And luck is a roll of the dice. It's not because you're smarter… you just blindly walked into a goddamn nut." (Bryan, [02:39], repeated at [25:09])

3. Fyre Fest 2 & The Streaming Grift

• [03:47] Krissy introduces updates on Fyre Fest 2, with ex-con Billy McFarland selling the Fyre Fest "IP" to a true crime app developer.
• [04:42] Bryan and Krissy mock the so-called intellectual property:
  • "What is the Fyre Fest IP? A literal, like, flame that someone drew on Fiverr?" (Bryan, [04:13])
• They explain how fake streaming platforms pad their numbers with bots before flipping for big money, likening the scam to NFTs and the general culture of digital grift.
• [08:53] Bryan muses: "NFT level scamming… And what surprised me… is that Billy hasn't had his own NFT."
  • Discussion veers into NFTs and Bitcoin as cautionary tales and platforms for “degenerates who got lucky” (Bryan, [13:01]).

4. Personal Anecdotes: The Luck of Scammers and Bitcoin Millionaires

• [10:41] Bryan tells of a “total degenerate” who struck it rich with early Bitcoin, underscoring his thesis: It’s all dumb luck, not genius.
• [13:57] "If an investment looks good to me, you should run away from it." (Bryan)
• The hosts riff on the inherent scamminess of real estate and their bumbling through failed investments.

5. America's Coach Grifters: Grant Cardone & the Industry of “Expertise”

• [16:00] Bryan launches into a passionate teardown of real estate “guru” Grant Cardone and the culture of get-rich-quick coaches:
  • "The first step to scamming everything is you have to appear presentable and then talk the talk." (Bryan, [16:31])
  • He shares the saga of a local scammer, “Brian,” who fakes wealth, squats in Airbnbs, and resurfaces giving bogus advice on Cardone’s 10X streaming site.
• [22:17] The duo lampoons the pay-to-play business coaching world: “For $19.95 plus shipping… you too can scam your grandma to the last $15,000.”

6. The Myth of Expertise (Part 2): Back to Luck and Outrage

• [25:09] Bryan returns to his theme about luck behind “success,” mocking the celebrity CEO mythos (Musk, Bezos, Zuckerberg).
  • "No one wants to hear it. Elon Musk didn't invent the electric car. Jeff Bezos didn't invent books or the Internet. They got lucky. That's what happened." (Bryan, [25:44])
• This crescendo is met with laughter and Krissy’s slight exasperation.

7. TCB Pivot: Swingers Cruise “Temptations” Review

• [26:15] Bryan promises a 180-degree turn: they’re reviewing a YouTube vlog comparing Temptations Resorts vs. Temptations Swinger Cruises.
• [28:33] Bryan describes encountering a sex therapist’s cruise reel where concierge staff breezily handle 48 beds on display for “group activities.”
  • "So what this was, was essentially a cruise where they had set up 40 plus beds in the same room so people could fuck and you could have drinks and someone would come clean up your tasty teeners when you were done... towel you down." (Bryan, [29:19])

8. Mocking the Reviewers: Missing the Juicy Details

• [33:01+] The hosts play the review vlog, taking jabs at the couple’s nondescript delivery and the lack of explicit commentary:
  • "First of all, turn off your air conditioner and get a microphone, please." (Bryan, [35:13])
  • "Well, that was six minutes of commercials." (Bryan)
• The review focuses on mundane logistics—demographics, room size, cruise length—much to Krissy and Bryan’s disappointment.
• [38:10] Bryan: "If you're going to Temptations, you're pretty open to a lot of stuff."
• They want “juicy details,” not just info about dining rooms.
  • Krissy: “I think I might be pissed if you’re going to a swinger resort for your bachelor party and I’m getting ready to marry you…” [38:55]

9. Cruise vs. Resort: Unintentional Humor

• [44:13] Laughing at stats: "Wow, that's a lot of people looking to get hammered in more ways than one."
• They imagine pranks with pineapple stickers on Disney cruises, riff on the term “lifestyle takeover,” and ponder the unfortunate aftermath for the cleaning crew.
  • "I just hope to God that there is some kind of procedure after these. ... If there's something above [pee and poop] in my mind, it's some other dude's jizz..." (Bryan, [48:23])

10. Clothing-Optional Confusion

• [55:57] The review finally hits on topless and nude zones but disappoints by not sharing any anecdotes:
  • Krissy: “No, it just makes sense. Let it all be optional.”
  • Bryan: "Restaurants, buffets? I understand… Even men, women, everybody. ... But if you’re walking down the hallway at Temptations and you just got back from the pool… why does it matter?" [57:12]

11. Despair at Lackluster Content

• [62:30] Bryan and Krissy, unsatisfied, roast the reviewers for their bland recap:
  • Bryan: "You’ve bored the commercial break. That's hard to do because we need content."
  • They call for specifics: "You should have talked about your own experiences. ... Hey, we went into the playroom. We met this guy. He tickled my taint. ... That’s the kind of thing you can expect." ([62:31])
  • "We all know what cruise dining is like. Even people who haven't been on a cruise."

12. Wrap-Up: Upcoming TCB Programming

• The episode concludes with reminders about TCB’s own “America’s Next Best Mediocre Podcaster” and their fifth anniversary 12-hour show.
• They urge listeners to send in their mediocre audition clips.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• "Fortune favors the bold. Fuck you, it's luck. ... You just blindly walked into a goddamn nut." – Bryan, [02:39] / [25:09]
• "What is the Fyre Fest IP? A literal, like, flame that someone drew on Fiverr?" – Bryan, [04:13]
• "NFT level scamming… And what surprised me… is that Billy hasn't had his own NFT." – Bryan, [08:53]
• "If an investment looks good to me, you should run away from it." – Bryan, [13:57]
• "The first step to scamming everything is you have to appear presentable and then talk the talk." – Bryan, [16:31]
• "For $19.95 plus shipping… you too can scam your grandma to the last $15,000." – Bryan, [22:17]
• "Elon Musk didn't invent the electric car. Jeff Bezos didn't invent books or the Internet. They got lucky. That’s what happened." – Bryan, [25:44]
• "So what this was, was essentially a cruise where they had set up 40 plus beds in the same room so people could fuck..." – Bryan, [29:19]
• "If you're going to Temptations, you're pretty open to a lot of stuff." – Bryan, [38:10]
• "You’ve bored the commercial break. That's hard to do because we need content." – Bryan, [62:30]
• "You should have talked about your own experiences. ... That's the kind of thing you can expect." – Bryan, [62:31]

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Memorable Moments & Tone

• Recurring Snarky Rants: Bryan's over-caffeinated energy shines, especially when venting about scam artists and real estate crooks.
• Meta-humor: The hosts are self-aware, frequently making fun of their need for fresh content and the podcasting grind.
• Swingers Cruise Review: The entire segment is a hilarious exercise in frustration at missed opportunities for salacious content.

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Important Segments & Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |------------|-------------------------------------------------------| | 00:04 | WSHIT fake news intro | | 02:39 | Luck vs. meritocracy rant, targeting “gurus” | | 03:47 | Fyre Fest 2 update & IP ridicule | | 08:53 | NFT/Blockchain scams & personal Bitcoin story | | 16:00 | Grant Cardone & Coach scam culture | | 25:09 | Bryan’s central theme: “It’s all luck!” | | 26:15 | Tease of Temptations swingers cruise review | | 28:33 | Sex therapist cruise story – “48 beds on promenade” | | 33:01–53:00| Play-by-play roasting of Temptations cruise review | | 55:57 | Clothing-optional discussion | | 62:30 | The hosts dismiss the review for lacking juice | | 63:18 | Bryan and Krissy’s plea for more scandalous content |

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Conclusion

This episode is a perfect showcase of TCB’s irreverent, rambling, and highly self-aware “comedy of chaos.” Bryan and Krissy skewer scam culture, celebrate dumb luck, and offer a side-splittingly uncomfortable play-by-play of the swingers' cruise review—never letting up on their demand for more juicy gossip and less travel channel blandness. If you need to catch up on scamster absurdities or get an unvarnished, hilarious take on America’s quirkiest adults-only vacation options, this episode is for you.

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Best to you, best to Astrid, and best to you out there in the podcast universe!

Transcript

[A]

Foreign.

[B]

Welcome back to wshit. This hour of WSHIT news sponsored by Jerry's Pawn Shop and Petting Zoo. At Jerry's, we're making deals while the piggies squeals on a follow up to a follow up story. After newly elected Mayor Slow Bush announced that Tom Beetleberry would be the president of the Crabapple Women's Club, the citizens of the township were outraged. In response, Mayor Sloughbush put out a video further enraging the citizens of Crabapple. He then signed into law buy one, get one mango margaritas at Margarita Chacheritas, causing the township to be further outraged and mostly drunk. In response to the Bogo declaration, the pastor of the Hard sword of the Lord called the mayor and demanded that he rescind the buy one, get one mango margaritas at Margarita Chachoritas. So if you're following up to this point, everyone is outraged at everyone. Now with the entire township in chaos, Mayor Slawbush has put another pin in the paddle, signing yet another mayoral declaration that Crabapple citizens can only drink two alcoholic beverages per week. As you can imagine, most crab appliance, this crab applian included, are very upset by this current declaration. Our man on the street, Jimmy Peckerwood, caught up with some people on Main street to find out how they felt about being limited to just two alcoholic beverages per week. Here's what one Crabapple citizen had to say.

[A]

Two drinks a week? Well, that's just not feasible, not in this country. Well, come on, man. Two drinks a week, what's that going to do for you? I mean, that doesn't even get you through a day. A reasonable amount. If you're, I mean, if you're at home, you should be able to have like four beer. That's just. That ain't. That's just two more. I mean, I'll have six, but four is a fair number.

[B]

And in further developing news, many citizens of the township have gathered in protest at Margarita Chachorita's and in a sign of solidarity, are drinking as many alcoholic drinks as they possibly can, with some customers reportedly there for over 36 hours. While the local municipal hospital only reports a few minor injuries, the Crab Apple Pharmacy has seen a run on pregnancy tests. WSHIT will be first on the scene as soon as I get off my shift. We'll be back after this commercial break. On this episode of the commercial break.

[A]

Fortune favors the bold. Fuck you, it's luck. And luck is a roll of the dice. It's not because you're smarter than the rest of the People around you, likely you're dumber. The truth is you just blindly walked into a goddamn nut. So sit and shut up. No one wants to hear it. Elon Musk didn't invent the electric car. Jeff Bezos didn't invent books or the Internet. They got lucky. That's what happened. Fuckers. Okay, maybe Mark Zuckerberg stole the idea for social media, but it wasn't a particularly good idea. You see what it's done? Nothing. Nothing for nobody. Except make Brian angry about Grant Cardone. Fuck you.

[B]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris Joy Odley. Best to you, Chris X.

[C]

And best to you, Brian.

[A]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us.

[D]

Yes, I love that sound.

[A]

Breaking news. The Fyre Fest scam continues and I couldn't be more puffed up about it. I am fluffed this morning. I gotta rock harder.

[C]

Oh, yeah, the saga continues.

[A]

Chrissy alerted me. I can't believe I didn't get this on my notifications as I'm paying close attention to the Fyre Fest too, as it falls all apart in so many different ways. But Billy has found yet another dipshit to hang on to his ideas as he has sold the Fyre Fest ip. Whatever that means. I know whatever that means. I don't even. How could. What. What is the Fyre Fest ip? A literal, like, flame that someone drew on Fiverr. The name fire spelled weirdly V. Ray. The Fearay Fest has sold to a guy named Daniel Rauch. Roush. Roush.

[C]

Or Craig.

[A]

Craig Crouch or something. Roush. And the guy, Chris Hansen from To Catch a Predator started a true crime streaming channel streaming service that is essentially an app that you can get anyone in the United States of America that knows anything about applications to build you probably for a song and a dance, like $100. I mean, these things, they come out of the box. Now you come out of the box, you connect it with the content, you people download it and then you just. This is like Simcoe fm. Simcoe FM bought a program at the time that was pretty expensive. It was like $4,500. We bought a program, we loaded it with all this music and content that we had created and then it would just run on a schedule. We'd put it on a schedule. It would run on a server out there in the universe and people would connect to it and they'd Hook up. It's very simple technology, comparatively speaking, in 2025. So they have essentially gotten some developer in Bangladesh to build them a streaming application. That's true. Crime Network where they run Chris Hansen's new To Catch a Predator, which is the old To Catch a Predator, just without the professional cameras or major. You pay 3.99amonth for it. And they've bought Billy's IP and they are starting a brand new streaming music service called V Ray. And for the. For $3.99 in the worst economy in almost 30 years.

[C]

Yeah, just add another streaming service.

[A]

You'll have the ability to see music on demand. And then you'll also have the ability. No one's done that before. Spotify, Pandora. What was that title that Jay Z was involved in? Puffy and Jay Z. Yeah, it's still going on. And then. But the. The amazing part about this is. And this is where really where I think this kind of breaks the mold. The part where I get interested in what a leap forward in technology Billy and his partners have created. You'll have the ability to upvote or downvote the music.

[B]

Putting the upvote.

[A]

If you upvote enough, then that music will be showcased more. It's called Analyt. Ooh wha bam wa bam. It's like Instagram. Wha bam. Just much worse without all the actual content. Wha bam.

[C]

Is this like MTV's TRL?

[A]

This is yes in app form. No 1, 800 number to call here. You just. No texting, no data rates may apply. This is just 3.99amonth. You get the privilege of putting that right in Billy's pocket. For what reason, I don't know. And I can promise you that what they will do is they will junk up that application by getting a bunch of bots to download it to make it look like there's millions of people on it. This is done pretty often in the app world, in case you didn't know, in all the worlds of streaming and everything is that you get a bunch of bots to essentially attack the app, to pull it down, to use it. Even Facebook and. And Instagram have both been accused by insiders of doing this. And I don't doubt it for one second. Clubhouse. All these. All these places, they get fake users and then they open up the accounts and then they get bots to then transact on those accounts to make it look like there's engagement. And then you get some larger company to come in and buy it. And what happens is the Larger company realizes there was no traffic in the first place, correct? Yeah, we just took a $300 million bath. But they never say anything about it because they don't want to look like idiots to their investors. So this happens all the time. Very rarely do you. Very rarely are you. The commercial break level success where over 15 people are actually downloading you at the same time. This is like, this is pretty well worn territory. It's NFT level scamming is what this is. And what surprised me quite frankly is that Billy hasn't had his own NFT. Why Fyre Fest 2 wasn't transacted on the blockchain. He really missed an opportunity to scam a lot more money out of people by not making this into an NFT.

[C]

Bitcoin.

[A]

Bitcoin. And the NFTs are, they're just, they're on fire now. They're seeing their way back into our consciousness. I saw over 12 transactions happened yesterday open see the NFT open marketplace.

[C]

I went and looked at NFT after we were talking.

[A]

Yeah, after we were talking about it, I said, okay, I got, you know, and I was really thinking, I was thinking about Fyre Fest and I'm like, why didn't they get into the NFT game? Maybe even they know that the nft, maybe even Billy understands that the NFT game is too scammy for him. And I went and looked and there are transactions that are happening on that blockchain mostly around baseball cards and Pokemon cards. So I guess the new thing to do is collectible.

[C]

Yeah, you sell is always a collectible.

[A]

It was always a collectible. Now you just pay extra because you're using the blockchain to transact it. But there's a company out there who's doing. Seems like it's doing pretty well transacting, really like rare baseball cards and Pokemon cards on the blockchain. And then I guess you get to take. I would hope that you get to take physical hold of it. So essentially, when you think about it, all NFTs have become is another PayPal. That's it. That's all it is. It's just another way to send money from one person to another with maybe a little more privacy, but not really privacy. And all of those NFTs, like bored apes and stuff like that, they're just not transacting at any volume. They're still expensive, but they're not transacting at any volume. I saw one bored ape out there for like 63, 000 US dollars.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

And you there's a. Like you can bid on stuff. And so there are people that are bidding well below that. Like in the 30s and 40s of thousands of dollars, those things were transacting at millions.

[C]

And then what do you do once you have it? Do you just show people like. Yeah, like a piece of art on the wall and stuff?

[A]

Instead you're just showing it on your phone.

[C]

On your phone?

[A]

Yeah, you show it on your phone. Look at me. I got a drawing of a monkey on my phone. But then that can get you into certain exclusive parties and places. And there's like a board ape. There's actually a Bored Ape Yacht Club, I believe. I think there's actually a place where you can go.

[C]

Bored Ape Cruise?

[A]

Yeah, a Bored Ape cruise. Why not? Like to see that cruise? Deodorant, please. Nah. If you were into NFTs, you already got enough trouble. I don't want to beat up on you. You already lost enough money. I don't want to beat up on you. I did see a story on Instagram and I don't know if it's true or not, but it makes for interesting conversation about a guy in his late 20s who, 12 years ago, so he was a teenager, bought bitcoin and forgot about the bitcoin. How anybody would forget that they bought Bitcoin in 2025, I don't know. So this is what makes me think, I don't know if this story is true, but he bought like 387 Bitcoin back then, and now he just opened up his wallet over the last couple of days. So if you bought 387,000 bitcoin, you'd be a millionaire a couple of times over now. And you probably bought it for, I don't know, $600. Yeah, much less than that, $600. Actually, we have a friend or we have a family friend, I think I've spoken about this before, who was an absolute degenerate. I mean, an absolute degenerate from the moment that we met him. But we liked him because we were degenerates too. So all the degenerates kind of hung out with each other, but he was like even more degenerate, if you know what I mean. He was like a couple levels below. Like, even deodorant, please would be the right way to put it. Like, he was just one of those kids and I don't think his parents cared about him all that much. So we always kind of felt for him. It was like a special place in our heart. But you never Got that close to him because you didn't know exactly what he was up to, Right. He made millions and millions and millions of dollars on bitcoin. He got in on early. He thought this was the best thing in the world. He kept telling people around. Now, I didn't know him at this time, but my. One of my brothers did. And he kept telling everybody, you got to buy into this bitcoin. It's going to be huge. It's going to be huge. And everybody ignored him because he was a degenerate of epic proportions. He was like a class a degenerate. He was the kind of guy.

[C]

What does this guy know?

[A]

Yeah, what does this guy know? He's probably got bodies in the back of his buried somewhere in his house. What's going on with this guy? Bitcoin, what's that? Who cares? And he made millions and millions and millions of dollars. Multiple houses around the world. Living high on the hog in northern California right now. Has like a. Started a weed bit, like a legal weed business. He was in the illegal weed business and then he went legal with the weed business. And he just does that for fun. And he is retired forever and he is 10 years younger than I am. And so, yeah, so it can happen. It can happen. It just doesn't happen to me. I have. I don't know where I fell off the turnip truck, but if an investment looks good to me, you should run away from it. If Brian says, here's a business opportunity I think is really going to work out, you should probably go the opposite direction and you too will be a millionaire.

[C]

The old buy high, sell low philosophy.

[A]

Buy high, sell low. Look at this piece of real estate. Everything else around it is selling for $100,000. This one's selling for a million. There must be something special about that property. Yep. It's got a stream in the back and there's water, so you can't put a found. There's water under the ground, so you can't put a foundation there. So you got to spend an extra $300,000 to put poles in the ground. And oops, let's hire the cheap company because they're really good at what they do. And now those poles broke. So let's do it again. It's going to sell for $6 million. And the real estate agent says, 600,000. And he said, meet you in the middle. And she says, 600,000 and you say, okay, 600,000. Let's be optimistic. We'll only lose a million dollars on this. And Then she says, best and final offer 326,000. And then you say, get rid of that real estate agent. So the next real estate agent comes in, he says, yeah, we'll sell it for $8 million. Best and final $237,000 from the same guy who offered you 326,000? Yep. I guess we'll have to take that. That's how, that's how Brian's crash course and real estate. Yeah, we're just talking about how real estate is like the world. If you think NFTs is the scammiest business out there, try real estate for a living. That's, I mean not. There are certainly lots of well heeled developers and people in real estate that do very well and they build homes for people. And people seem happy about it, but it's just like such a tough. People seem happy, people seem happy about it. But is anybody really happy about having 500, 600, a million dollars in debt to the bank? I mean, I don't know. Anyway, whatever. It's just like the biggest scam ever on earth that let's take something that is really just part of earth and then let's put a value on it and then we'll give it to the bank and then they can lean on it so they have your balls in a sack for the rest of your life. I mean it's just, and then every step of the way everyone's getting everybody else with a bunch of money. Except for Brian. Except for Brian.

[C]

You know, you should have become a coach.

[A]

I should have become a coach. I should have. But even, even I knew that was like where the real scammy people go, you know, I was listening to one of the biggest con artists in the game, my opinion, Grant Cardone. Did you know Grant Cardone is.

[C]

Yes, I've heard. Yeah. So he's been around for a while.

[A]

He's been around for a very long time. Hit 10x. Anybody who's heard of Grant Cardone will hear 10x. I 10x every 10x everything.

[C]

What does that mean?

[A]

Yeah, 10x. So let me tell you a little story about Grant Cardo. Now I don't know Grant personally. I was in a few clubhouse rooms with him. I talked with him briefly for a couple of minutes. But I've never really been on board with Grant Cardone and there's a lot of people who have sued Grant Cardone. I don't know all the ins and outs of that. I'm not claiming I ever had any interaction with Grant Cardone. So this is legally, I'm not claiming anything about Grant Cardone because he is litigious and so he's not listening to my show. But I just. Grant Cardone is really like a sketchy son of a bitch. And it's been known, it's widely understood in the real estate business that he is. That's just the way that it is. What, how he got there, I don't know. I'm not making any of those claims. But I knew a guy with, I first met when I got in the, in the real estate business. And this guy was one of those dudes who, he looked very presentable and he appeared to be very smart. That's the first step to scamming everything is you have to appear presentable and then you have to, you know, then you have to talk the talk. And so I remember sitting down my partner at the time. We're brand new bees in the real estate business. But here's the thing about the real estate business. Everybody who takes a weekend course then thinks they're experts on the business. So all the newbies come in with the attitude that we are. We have been doing this for like 50 years. We don't know nothing. But you have to go in looking like you know something. So here we are in these suits and ties, sitting in a patio next to the Chattahoochee River. It's July, I'm sweating my potatoes off, and there's this guy across and he's giving us a 15 page PowerPoint presentation on an apartment complex, mixed use, that he's going to build somewhere north of Atlanta. It's only going to cost $385 million, but. And he's never personally been involved in a $385 million project, but he knows all the pieces of the puzzle, he knows all the players, he's got the money raised, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This guy goes off and instantaneously. Even though I've taken a weekend real estate course and I know better than anybody else in the back of my mind, I know that I don't really know anything, but I know that this is bullshit. How does this guy have $385 million raised? And then why is he. All he needs is a million dollars so he can get the permits and then it all comes into play, right? That's it. That's what every scammer ever said. All I need is that one piece of the puzzle and then it all comes rolling. It's like a, it's basically a Nigerian oriole. Scam.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

If I could just borrow $50,000, I could get 100 million out of Nigeria.

[C]

And then we'll all be, I'll give it back. You'll, you'll make 10 times.

[A]

I'll give you 80% of my $100 million if I could just borrow $7 on an apple gift card that you buy at Walmart. Don't tell your friends. It's basically how it goes. So this guy, whose name is also Brian. So this guy, he kind of travels around the circle of real estate people we know and he tries to get, you know, everybody investing in all of these cockamamie things that he claims he's doing. And everybody with any good sense understands that this is, this is just not true. To be true, it's way too good to be true. He doesn't have 385 million. I didn't know anybody with 300. And if he does have $385 million, why is he having trouble raising 50,000? It just doesn't make any sense. So, but he travels in this like real estate circle of human beings.

[C]

He looks good and he talks, he.

[A]

Looks good, he talks good. He's always, he's always with a good looking girl, he's shaking hands, he's kissing babies. So, but pretty soon the whispers start and blah blah, blah, blah, blah. And then pretty soon like people in the business are looking for him because they, he owes them money and like, you know, hey, have you seen this guy? I got to talk to him. He owes me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, no, I don't, I really don't know. I don't know because I never loaned him any money so I didn't keep tabs on the guy. But whatever. A year later he pops up on Instagram and he's making these, and Facebook and he's making these videos from a multi million dollar mansion in West Palm Beach, Florida. And I mean he's, I, here's my new house. It's a club. We're turning it into a club. For $10,000 a month, you can be part of my club. I just bought this beautiful property, blah, blah, blah. And everybody is like, well, holy shit, he did it. He figured out a way to actually do some, this beautiful property in West Palm Beach, Florida. Multimillion dollar spread right on the beach.

[C]

It's being shown on Instagram. It has to be true, right?

[A]

Well, he's doing this for like months. He's making these videos until in the comments section people start saying that he is not actually. He doesn't actually own the house. He rented it on Airbnb and the owners can't get him out. It's like, people are like, posting, you need to leave the house. You know, this is these poor people's house. They're trying. They're not poor people. Yeah, he's squatting inside of the Airbnb, but he's like, you know, responding, this is my house. It's a misunderstanding, blah, blah, blah. It's like this whole fight that misunderstand. All right, so it's clearly he's scammed somebody and he's getting caught and blah, blah, blah. Eventually he gets evicted from the house. Everybody learns this. Everybody in the circle that we run in learns that he gets evicted from this house in 2020, I think. And like, right in the pandemic. So he goes away for two years, and then all of a sudden, right when we start the show, all of a sudden he pops up again after no one hears from him for years. We thought he might be in jail. We didn't know.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, he's done.

[A]

No one hears from him for years. All of a sudden he pops up. He is part of Grant Cardone's brand new Streaming television service, 10X. Streaming television service. Just like Fyre Fest. Just like Free Ray Fest. It's this shitty website that Grant Cardone has where 24 hours a day, scammy real estate guys are teaching scammy real estate techniques.

[C]

For 1995.

[A]

For 1995 plus 1995 shipping and handling. You too can scam your grandma to the last $15,000. For 19 to 95, plus 1995 shipping and handling. Brian from Atlanta Real estate infamy will teach you how to squat in an Airbnb. Make it so good, it's yours. This guy pops up on Grant Cardone's website giving, like, a daily course on what to do in real estate. Chrissy, if one day, if I didn't think Grant was so fucking litigious, I would show you some of these videos which still live on that website to this day. At least, last time I checked a couple months ago. Still live on. I have never heard such mumbo jumbo come out of anybody's mouth in my entire life. It is absolute horse hockey. It is clear that he knows nothing about this. And these are the type of people that Grant Cardone surrounds himself with. This Grant Cardone guy is a real fucking lug nut. A real fucking lug nut. And he's on one of those business channels the other Day, they're talking about tariffs, which are just killing everybody in the world, right? They're gonna kill the economy worldwide. And they're already doing so, actually. And actually, as we're recording this right now, it seems like Donald Trump is all of a sudden, he's given up on the tariffs. No more tariffs. Don't worry about it. No more tariffs. Because he knows that he's tanking the economy, and now he's getting nervous. People are privately biting his ear and saying, you, this isn't about high prices. This is about empty shelves and people are gonna go bananas. You're gonna cause chaos. And so all of a sudden, yesterday, he said, no, no more tariffs. No bad Donald Trump good.

[C]

And I can't even keep up with it all. I mean, I briefly do, but.

[A]

But listen to this. So Grant Cardone is on one of these business channels, and he says, all you people out there, all you real estate guys, all you brokers, all you small business, big business people that are complaining about tariffs, you need to shut up and sit down. This isn't about you. This is about Donald Trump taking control of the situation. It's like, oh, okay, this isn't about us. This is about everybody. It just goes to show that Grant Cardone knows shit from shinola about business. And yet he continues to do it again. Him, Billy McFarlane, Stephen Roush, and now Craig Roush, Bob Jousch, whatever his name is. And now Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. All in the same category of fucking lug nuts that get lifted up into the stream of consciousness as business gurus. When the truth is experts. Experts. When the truth is no one's really an expert on anything. No one really knows shit about anything. We're all stumbling through life blind as a fucking bat, hoping that we get a goddamn nut like a squirrel in a tree. And if we do, we are lucky. Lucky. And we should consider ourselves so. And we should shut up, sit down, and be nice to the people around us.

[C]

Amen.

[A]

Because luck, fortunes does not fortune the brave, or whatever the fuck you say. Fortune favors the bold. Fuck you. It's luck. And luck is a roll of the dice. It's not because you're smarter than the rest of the people around you. Likely you're dumber. The truth is you just blindly walked into a goddamn nut. So sit down and shut up. No one wants to hear it. Elon Musk didn't invent the electric car. Jeff Bezos didn't invent books or the Internet. They got lucky. That's what happened. Fuckers okay, maybe Mark Zuckerberg stole the idea for social media, but it wasn't a particularly good idea. You see what it's done. Nothing. Nothing for nobody. Except make Brian angry about Grant Cardone. Fuck you.

[C]

All right.

[A]

With that. Let's take a break, and when we get back, we're going to go completely the opposite direction.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

I'm going to tell you about the Swingers cruise Temptations.

[C]

Oh.

[E]

Oh.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Talk about lucky.

[A]

We'll hear someone review the cruise when we get back. We get back.

[E]

Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333 TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] TheCommercialBreak. Best to you and Astrid. Especially Astrid.

[A]

Sorry about that. I took my blood pressure medication and now I feel better. No, I get so worried. I get so worked up that all these idiots just fall upward all the time.

[C]

I know. And you probably see more of it.

[A]

Oh, I've seen a lot of it.

[C]

Feed and stuff, too. Because you were in the business.

[A]

Well, I've seen a lot. I've seen a lot of it personally. And then I see a lot of it just going on, just people just falling upwards. Complete idiots and scam artists and con artists, and they just keep falling upward into more and more money and more and more fame and more and more riches and, you know, I guess that's the world we live in in 2025. But again, it's it. I think it's really more about luck than it is about expertise. Because if you look around at some of these billionaires and millionaires and people who have just, like, kind of come into my. It's like that guy, that degenerate that we knew, yes, he had some forethought to look into Bitcoin and say, this could be something down the line, but do you think he really knew when he saw it at that moment that bitcoin is going to be worth $100,000. Of course not. He's a degenerate. He couldn't. He didn't even. Couldn't even. High on acid. Decided that was good. All right, so Temptations. I followed this lady who had an interesting couple of reels one time, and she's a sex therapist and sex coach.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And maybe someday we'll get her on. But her most recent reel, or the most recent reel, that got served to me. She was on a cruise ship. And the cruise ship, like the promenade, part of the promenade, which is that big galley area in the front of a. In the. In the cruise ship when you walk on, had been totally cleared out. And there were 48 beds with new linens put down on that promenade. Oh, and she was talking to the. One of the concierge, and this guy was a man from a different country, I would assume maybe the Philippines or something like that. He had an accent. Cute as a button. Dude was cute as a button. And she was asking, you know, how do you like being the concierge of this whole setup? And he goes, yeah, it's fine with me, you know, and what do you think about being around a bunch of people who are having sex at the same time? And he said, hey, listen, it's just part of the job. Doesn't bother me one bit. I've seen it on tv. I've done it myself, you know, whatever. Cool. You know, I'm just here to clean up, get your drinks, I guess. And I was shocked. Clean up, clean up, and get your drinks is what he said. And I was shocked. I was like, wow. So what this was. Was essentially a cruise where they had set up 40 plus beds in the same room so that people could fuck and then you could have drinks and someone would come clean up your tasty teeners when you were done, I guess, I don't know, towel you down. Not sure how that works, but I got fat.

[C]

Here's a. Here's a cool lemon towel.

[A]

Yeah, like one of those hot towels you get at the. What do you call them, the Hibachi.

[C]

Grill or the spa.

[A]

Yeah. Or the really nice plane flights. Like when you go on first class and they bring you a hot towel, here's one for your tea bags. And this just fascinated the shit out of me. Are there really cruises dedicated to just swing because you can't do this? Like, I'd be really upset if I went on Royal Caribbean and the Promenade on Tuesday night. Like on our sail away day, had a bunch of people just fucking. Yeah. It wouldn't be the. I'm not saying I, I'm not saying I would be against it. I just wanted to be against it if my family was there also.

[C]

Of course. Yeah.

[A]

Right, There's. So this clearly had to be.

[C]

Well, it makes sense. I mean, there are these, you know, sex parties that people have at clubs and different things. In fact, you were, you went to one time not because you wanted to participate.

[A]

Not, not because I wanted to participate, but because I was doing a concert next door.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And Jam Land Productions was putting on its weekly loss of money for the bar with its shitty Jam bands. Occasionally a DJ slipped in there.

[C]

And then there's resort that you can go to, so it makes sense. There's a cruise.

[A]

So Temptations Resort apparently is a swingers resort or a singles resort or whatever you want to call it. Adults only resort. And Temptations has started to put on cruises. They rent an entire cruise ship just like Heather McMahon did or the wrestling people do or the bad 90s rock bands. Smash Mouth used to have a cruise. And Jam cruise is one that's been going on for a long time, that's very popular, sells out every year. And so these cruise ships are up for rent and you can rent them for private occasions, just like you could rent restaurants for a private occasion if you had enough money or enough people to do it. And so twice a year now, Temptations, apparently the resort puts on a cruise where you go down on the Caribbean cruise. It's like a four day sail away. Four day fuck away and international waters. That's right. You hoist a flag. You hoist your sails.

[C]

Pineapple flag.

[A]

Yeah, you hoist your pineapple flag and then you hoist your other flag and you meet some other frisky folks and you get down to it. And so I thought, well, okay, I want to know more about it. I found one or two videos about it. But I understand these people that we're about to review, they also do vlogs from the actual cruise.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

But they don't show any of the juicy parts because of course they can't show any of the juicy parts. There's privacy involved and all that other stuff. But I thought, why don't we do an after cruise review and let's hear what's going on there on the cruise ship.

[C]

I'd love to.

[A]

Okay. All right, so this is what we're about to listen to. Here we go. Young looking, nice looking couple sitting in front of Their couch. Typical vlog type shit.

[D]

Typical stuff is all about Temptation Cruise versus Temptation Resort.

[A]

Oh, before we start, she says, let's.

[C]

Make sure that we get lifestyle merch. We got you.

[A]

All right. Okay. We're gonna fast forward through their commercial questions about yeah, merch. By the way, we're gonna have merch in the 20 on the 12 hours of TCB.

[D]

Which one would be better for you? And we're going to be talking about the differences between both because they are both very fun but very, very different. If our content helps you out at all and you plan on going to Temptation Cruise or Temptation Resort sometimes, sometime in the future, we would greatly appreciate if you would use our links to book your vacation right here.

[C]

May I mention that the link is the number four, our play.com travel.

[A]

We'll give them a shout out for our play.com travel in case you're into.

[D]

That kind of thingplay.com travel for more information about all the different types of resorts and cruises that there are. And it doesn't cost you anything extra, but it helps us out the in a ton and we would greatly appreciate.

[F]

So if you do book the cruise specifically, we do go on all of those. And so for all of those, we do a few little extra activities. We do a group dinner, we do a group meet and greet so everyone kind of get to know everybody. We also have a group online so you kind of get to know people before you actually go on the trip. And so there's a few extra little things like that we do. We also give out some where you.

[C]

Can target your partner.

[A]

Yeah, well, you can. Yeah, we have a, we have a, A pre party where we oil each other down. A fluffing party, if you will.

[F]

Yeah, some stuff that are personalized. And so if you guys are going to cruise, you book through us or if you're going really to the resort at all, if you book through our links, it just helps to support us and be able to continue to make content like this. So we really appreciate if you consider it and we also want to say that we are going to try to compare these and it's not going to be the most extreme deep dive into both. We do have extreme deep dives into the cruises and the no pun intended. And so we'll have those videos linked below. So after you finish this one, if you want to get even more details about maybe some of the night parties or more details about this, make sure to go watch those specific videos because that will help you learn even more. So the first thing we want to announce.

[A]

Well, that was six minutes of commercials. Okay, Are we done now? First of all, Second of all, turn off your air conditioner and get a microphone, please. So loud in there.

[F]

So we're really excited about that.

[A]

We.

[C]

That those recently kind of had kind of weird music.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And lose the music bed. I know I've been accused of playing music beds too much too. But I think I don't. Wouldn't have it running the entire video is.

[F]

Temptation Cruise has always just been February. And starting in 2025, it is going to be in February and in November.

[A]

So you get double penetration.

[C]

That's right.

[F]

So there's going to be two different sailings, which can help a lot of people out because I know everything. You know, sometimes people can only go during the.

[C]

Nothing like a pre Thanksgiving.

[A]

Nothing like a pre Thanksgiving. Dick down, Flushing. Oh, man. Can you imagine? This guy says sometimes people have trouble taking time off work. If you're into this kind of thing, you're taking. Yeah, yeah. You probably own your own business. You don't care you're quitting your job.

[C]

Yes.

[F]

So we want to see that first. So if you were not aware. So we will be on that one as well. So there's going to be a February and a November sailing now. And so, yes, we have not been on that one, but we have talked to them and it should have a very similar feel to the February one. And so we're really looking forward to the fact that there's going to be two Temptation Cruises every single year.

[A]

I'm looking forward to get pounded. By the way, double earrings. I like you, guy. You're going brave with the double earrings.

[C]

And the double necklace and double necklace double chains.

[D]

To talk about the demographic on the cruise, it's more about 40 to 50 with a skew on each side. You'll see younger people as well, and you'll see people who are older as well.

[A]

Well, that is very good. Did you get. Did you pick up on that? Yes, it's 40 to 50 with a skew on each side. As opposed to what? As opposed to what?

[D]

And then at the resort, it's a little bit more like 35 to 45. So it does skew a little bit younger at the resort.

[F]

Tentation as a whole is not technically branded as a swinger resort or a swinger cruise. It is more an adult spring break. One thing we have noticed, though, is.

[A]

Adult spring break with beds in the promenade and the guy who fluffs you. A guy who cleans up. Yeah, I don't know, I don't know.

[F]

From the cruises, we feel like there is a larger population of swingers or people in the lifestyle on these cruises where the resort seems to be more of a mix. While yes, at the resort there is a lot of people who are swingers, we've also noticed a lot of people that are just going there for an adult friendly vacation. He met people.

[A]

You got to be really into wanting to be around just adults. Yeah.

[C]

Not actually participate in everything, but just be around it.

[A]

I think horny guys in their 30s who want to see a lot of tits probably is what that is. This is my guess. I don't know. I'm not trying to like brand everybody. Listen. And by the way, I, I am have nothing against the swinger community. God bless you, have fun, do your thing. But it's just a little funny to me that I think if you're going to Temptations, you're pretty open to a lot of stuff. Yeah.

[F]

There last time that said they looked up kid free resorts and that's where they ended up.

[A]

We also saw kid friendly resort.

[C]

Well, I mean, that's a big difference. I'm gonna have to say. I just was at an adults only or a kid free resort and it certainly was not swinging.

[A]

When you look up kid friendly resort or kid free resort and Temptations is the name of the resort. It's not sandals. Maybe a little Sandals is kid free. Temptations is full of dicks. It's dick. Plus it's either kid free or dick. You figure out which one you want to go to.

[F]

A lot of bachelor bachelorette type groups there. And so you will notice that there's a lot more singles at the resort and there's also just a lot more people that are not in the lifestyle bachelor party.

[C]

I mean, I think I might be pissed.

[A]

I think I've got an idea.

[C]

You're going to a swinger resort for your bachelor party and I'm getting ready to marry you.

[A]

I mean, listen, one last hurrah, as they say. Right, Chrissy?

[C]

Yeah. Forget about the strip clubs.

[A]

Yeah. I can only imagine a resort. What kind of bachelor bachelorette parties are there?

[F]

They just want an adult friendly vacation. Whereas the cruise, this happens too. But a lot of people that we feel like we do interact with on the cruise are in the swinging lifestyle or at least are aware of the swinging lifestyle.

[A]

Who's not aware of the swinging lifestyle? Dude? Okay, I get it. You're not like this isn't your full time job to do to do this kind of stuff, but Somewhat, you know.

[F]

Maybe involved in some sort of aspect.

[D]

The cruise definitely feels more like a lot of couples. Where the resort is again, like he said, more of a mix. You're not going to see bachelor bachelorette parties on the cruise. The cruise there's fewer singles. Like you won't see that many singles. But at the resort you'll see that there's quite a few. However, if you are going to Temptational Resort when there is a lifestyle takeover, there are some that are more geared towards people in the lifestyle takeover.

[A]

Lifestyle takeover 2025 is this the Jam Cruise? What is. Why is your dick out? Dude, I came to see Smash Mouth and all I'm seeing is a bunch of squishy penises. Where's Smash Mouth? Third eye blind. That's. I was told third. That is a third eye. That is a third eye. I do see that. I see how I got confused on this one style.

[D]

Those ones will be all people who.

[A]

Are in the lifestyle and then say 33 penis. At Temptations Resort maybe I can get the guys back together.

[C]

33 Willie.

[A]

Although they've all sworn me off, I can't even get a return phone call anymore.

[E]

Really?

[A]

You wonder why those wouldn't be allowed.

[D]

In at that time since they are taking over the entire resort.

[F]

So length, when it comes to the cruise, length.

[A]

Let's talk about which length are you talking about? Well, we're going right into it. Look on the bottom it says length. The very bottom of the screen in tiny print it says length.

[F]

The cruises are five nights. It's pretty set and standard. That's one good thing about the resorts. If you like to maybe go for a little weekend, you can go for two or three days. Now these places do normally have a minimum of two night stay. So usually it's at least two nights. But if you wanted to be there for a week or two weeks, I guess however long you wanted to be there, you can be there that long. And so that's a good thing to note. One thing that we take into consideration with this is when you go on a cruise, you get on with everybody at the same time. You get off with everybody at the same time and so you have a chance to make it.

[C]

That is usually how it works. You're not picking up people along the way.

[A]

I wonder if this is more of a review. It's less of a review and more of a Aliens came down to earth and wanted to know what a cruise is. So they're letting them know connections and.

[F]

You know, people are going to be there for that entire duration. Whereas at the.

[C]

You're stuck.

[A]

AKA you're stuck. And so is he. Oh, no. All the concierge. Bruce. Oh, Bruce.

[F]

You may meet someone you really love the first night you get there and they're going home the next day. So you're gonna see more of a turnover at the resorts because people are constantly coming in and out.

[A]

Turnover is the key word. I got turned over a couple times. Chrissy. Oh, stop it. You meet someone and they leave the next day. I'm pretty sure if you go to one of these places, you're not looking for a long term relationship. If someone leaves the next day, you're just assuming that's part of the game. Right.

[F]

Something else to take into consideration, which.

[A]

We got to do a podcast. I think of all, you know, we have a lot of ideas about where to go, like, you know, the Juggalos or Jazz Fest or Coachella or whatever.

[C]

Or Ride Awaymo.

[A]

What's that? Or Ride in a Waymo. That's right. Or the Braves Stadium, which will never let us in, but we can just pretend like we're official. But I think really where the rubber meets the road for us. Where the juice. Where the juice is worth the squeeze, so to speak, would be the Temptations Cruise. Not as participants, but as observers.

[C]

Live from Temptation Cruise.

[A]

Live Temptations Cruise and then take us to the resort. Can you drop us off at the resort? I'm sure we'll be sick of the smell of semen by that point, but we can get onto the resort and give an actual review without all the details. Like on a cruise, you get on with everybody and you leave with everybody.

[F]

One of those kind of groupings and meeting people works better for you. And the weekends are definitely going to be the busiest at the resort. So especially Friday, Saturday are going to be the busiest days of the week.

[A]

You don't see.

[C]

As are every resort.

[A]

Yes. Okay, so the next chapter is called Size Length. You gotta be kidding me.

[C]

They named the chapters, knew what they were doing.

[A]

Length and size onto the size.

[D]

Temptation Resort.

[A]

He's got a little smirk on his face.

[D]

He knows is much smaller than the cruise. So there's about 430 rooms at the resort and so. And not all of those are couples rooms. So you could say about 800 or so people. 850 people. Whereas on the cruise it can be anywhere from about 2500 people up to about 3000.

[F]

Wow, that's a lot.

[A]

Wow, that's a lot of people looking to get hammered in more ways than one.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Maybe 3,500. And that's just going to depend on whichever ship they are using to sail.

[A]

Next time I'm going to Disney cruise, I'm going to look for a pineapple on the door. You know, a lot of people stick stickers on the door. Mickey stickers, Donald stickers, you know, Princess stickers, whatever. I bet there's some cheeky motherfuckers out there who have like a little pineapple sticker.

[C]

Oh, you gotta look for that even.

[A]

On a Disney cruise.

[D]

Yeah, that specific cruise. So if you're looking for more people, more variety, the cruise is definitely a better option.

[F]

But it is good to know that you said, yes, it's 800 people at the resort, but since you have turnover, you are going to meet more people. But there is a larger population of people on the cruises. So we are now going to talk about how it's organized.

[A]

One of them, they, they left the. They couldn't find a good one for this.

[C]

No.

[A]

Yeah. Listen, if I'm into that kind of thing, I probably am feeling like a smaller group of people that I could get to know easier is better. 3500. 3000 seems like a lot of people. It's very overwhelming. Yeah. I'm overwhelmed with all the dicks coming in my direction.

[C]

Yeah. Also it's a crapshoot because you don't know, like at least maybe at the resort there is more turnover, there's more options.

[A]

You've got more options if you don't like somebody on the cruise stock. Yeah. Plus it's 40. It's 40 to 50 with people on each side.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So you know, things that is a.

[F]

Distinct factor between these two is temptation. Resort does not have playrooms. If you're wanting to do, you know, spicy group activities that is going to be in somebody's room and that's really the only option for that. As far as the cruise goes. They do have playrooms aboard and so if you're looking more.

[A]

Geez.

[C]

They have separate rooms from your room for. With the playroom.

[A]

Yes. Well, this is just like the sex club that I went to. What's that? Yes, yes. They have different rooms and those rooms have different themes. Like when I went to the sex party, I told you there was a room with multiple mattresses in it. And it was just a lot of people getting dicked down. Right. A lot of guy on girl action with some observers doing whatever they were doing. But then there was like a themed room with bondage and then it was another themed room with toys.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Right. Now here's what I'm wondering. Can we have like some kind of alert system as to which cruise ships were used for this? Right before I decided to get on.

[C]

My regular cru Down. And yes, again, like if you know.

[A]

The Oasis of the Seas, which is one of those huge Royal Caribbean ships that are very nice and have malls in them and you know, multiple floors of retail and shopping and restaurants and all that, I'm going to want to know ahead of time if there was. If my restaurant was just used as a jizz factory. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. As a slip. That's a slip inside.

[F]

For a place that has playrooms, Temptation Cruise is definitely going to be a better option. So the resort has a huge, huge pool. I mean it is massive. And that is generally where people are hanging out. They have a party pool which is normally where they're doing all the parties. They have the most loud kind of music there.

[A]

I'm picturing.

[C]

Hold on. I'm wondering if they have the same alert system as Great Wolf Lodge does. Foreign objects.

[A]

Oh yeah. The yellow. Yeah. Yellow alert or brown alert? Brown town. Brown Town Pool 1. Browntown Pool Run. Yeah, you. This is why I. I do not like hot tubs under any circumstances that have been used by anybody else. Except for maybe a private hot tub at like a friend's house or something like that. But now it's got me thinking about the pools. I mean, come on. Like I hope they. I just hope to God that there is some kind of procedure after these. I don't mind the parties. Go have the parties. Right? That's sounds like a lot of fun for. If you're into that type of thing.

[C]

Yeah, for sure.

[A]

Sounds like there's. There's not a lot of places where this can happen. Like you don't go to a Ruby Tuesdays on a Tuesday and see a dick down room. You just don't. Right.

[C]

Also you just don't go to Ruby Tuesday.

[A]

Yeah, you just don't go to. I don't even think they exist anymore. Oh, I gotta tell you about mix, but I'll tell you about that next episode. But you know, like we just gotta have some kind of procedure for delousing after this whole thing goes down.

[C]

Gotta be.

[A]

Because if there's a. I hate pee, I hate poop, I really hate vomit. But if there's something above that in my mind is some other dude's jizz, it's really my own jizz. But then right above that is some other dude's jizz. Do you know what I'm saying?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And all that stuff mixed together. We've all. We've all had a friend who's been at our house and then you walk into the room and you're like, shit smells like jizz in here. You know, they were fucking. You know what I'm saying? Let's be adults about it. There is a distinct smell to sex. And you know it when you smell it. And it's not your own. And you know it when you smell it. And it is your own. So if we're gonna have these kind of lifestyle takeovers, can we also have like a cleaning party too? Like somebody goes extra deep. Extra deep. Clean pun intended. All right, let's take a break and we'll get back to more of this. I don't know, telling us about how cruise ships work, I guess how cruises and resorts work. That's right.

[C]

Just be the weather's saying, there you go.

[E]

Why don't you text us and we can text back and then you, you can text us and reply then so on. It's a fun little game I've been playing and I think you'll be great at it. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You could leave a message too. If you do, maybe you'll end up being the voice of the show. But be warned, the pay is not great. You could go to the website and drop us an email. Also tcbpodcast.com and while you're there, you can get a free sticker. Who doesn't want a free sticker? Just go to the contact us button and ask for one. Follow us on insta at the commercial break and watch the [e-mail] thecommercialbreak Now I'm gonna go back to that texting game you wanna play. Come on. Bye.

[A]

All right, we're back with the Dick and cruise. But real quick, I just wanted to mention that Danny Ricker is gonna be. Was on Chimmy Kimmel on Wednesday, so two days ago, essentially. So go watch that appearance. Danny got a lot of great feedback about that. Maybe more feedback than we've had on most interviews on Danny Ricker, who is not the most famous guy we've ever had on the show. I mean, I think he would readily admit that too, but he wrote a book. It's called wow, you look terrible. It's available now on sale, links in the show notes, all that. So I was telling Danny, congratulations on your. On your upcoming appearance. This was A couple days ago. And he's going to be on the show with Ben Affleck, who obviously is one of the most famous people in the world. His new movie, the Accountant, Too, is getting great reviews. And so I actually was one of the only human beings in history that saw the movie Surviving Christmas with Ben Affleck. You probably don't even.

[C]

I do, actually. I saw it, too.

[A]

In the theater.

[C]

Not in the theater, but this past Christmas. I was looking for things, and I saw that I couldn't finish it.

[A]

I couldn't make it through the entire movie. So I told Danny to tell Ben that he owes me $20 refund for surviving Christmas. I shouldn't be hard to find because I was probably the only one who actually saw it in the movie.

[C]

It's got a lot of good people in it, is the thing, and that's why I thought I'd watch it. It was not good?

[A]

No, it was not good. I think. I think we left about 57 minutes, 47 minutes into the movie. And I haven't walked out of many movies, but this one I just had to walk out of. God bless you, Ben. You've made a lot of my favorite movies, like. Well, okay, whatever. I don't want to get a whole Ben Affleck conversation. We'll do that on. We'll do that next week. Okay. All right, back to Temptations Cruises and Resorts. We're hearing a review. So far they haven't reviewed much, but. Okay, we'll see. We'll give it a few more minutes here.

[F]

Resort, they also have a quiet pool that is where people kind of go. If you want to be a little bit more relaxed. It's just a little walk over. It's not far at all, but they kind of have both options.

[A]

Oh, I like a quiet pool.

[C]

If you accidentally got on this cruise and you need a break.

[A]

Yes. Head to the quiet pool for the people who don't scream.

[F]

The cruises, generally, because it depends on what boat it's on, has a couple main pools, and there's normally one main pool party area. And there's some other hot.

[A]

I like how all this footage looks like it's hidden camera footage. They're showing little tiny clips of places where there's no other human being in sight. And it looks literally like they hid a camera in their hat or something. Like it's that kind of footage. Probably because they have an absolutely no filming rule on the cruise. And the. And the resort. I have.

[C]

I wonder if they have lifeguards at these pools. Yeah, no, Running.

[A]

No running, no jumping. Tits are not a flotation device, sir.

[F]

Spread around that. And then they also have a solarium. Generally the solarium is the place where normally people will go to be a little bit more quiet. It's not as loud. Generally. No music in there. So they both offer those things. And then I know I mentioned hot tubs a little bit. The cruise has hot tub tubs on the pool deck kind of by the party as well as in the solarium. So you kind of have hot tubs in both areas.

[A]

And then. Yeah, but where does the happen? That's what I want to know. You're giving a review about a cruise ship. Who cares?

[F]

And the resort has some hot tubs kind of above the pools. And then there's also a hot tub that's at one of the higher levels.

[A]

You're telling us about the location of hot tubs. I'll realize when I get there. They give me a map. It's okay. Or I have Google just like every other person does. Come on, dude, you got to give us the juicy stuff. Like, you know, if you're looking for rough sex, then you know the cruise is the better. Head to the. Yeah. Head to the dueling piano bar. You can get it from both. Double penetration at the dueling piano bar.

[D]

Yes.

[F]

Depending on what kind of ticket you have and what kind of room you're in, you're able to go up to that bigger hot tub. They're both pretty similar with the party.

[C]

Type feel ticket to get it.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, wow. I didn't know you have to buy extra access. What is this? Disney World? A lightning lane pass to get. To get to the slip and slide party. That's weird.

[F]

They both have main parties at the night time and they have kind of pool parties during the daytime. We'll get a little bit more into details about the parties later. But it's also.

[A]

I don't know that I'm gonna make it to later. You gotta give us some more details here, bud. This is. You're not. There's no details here.

[F]

Good to note that the resort is on the beach. So you're right there. You can just walk right off the resort and you're on a really.

[C]

Resort is on the beach.

[A]

The beach resorts on the beach. There's a beach at the beach resort. Congratulations. Oh, and there's yacht parking there. Can you imagine? You pull up, you're like yachting around the world and you pull up the temptations. Some 70 year old dude with a half hard meets you.

[F]

Nice beach Whereas the crew, that's a.

[A]

Pretty looking resort, you are more going.

[F]

You'Re stopping at different ports, you're seeing more different places, but it's not necessarily always just on and exactly exact beach.

[A]

So as far as area we know what a cruise is to hang out.

[F]

During the day, it's gonna kind of vary obviously between both. The resort I would say has less areas to hang out, but still has several areas people are going to hang out at the pool, you know, you can go to all the restaurants you have.

[C]

Did you see him?

[A]

Yes. He gave the peace symbol. Yeah.

[F]

Lobby, you have the hot tubs and you have, you know, little coffee bar type thing, the normal bars. So there is definitely areas to hang out. The cruise is just a larger space. So there is going to be more areas to go around and kind of hang out during the daytime, but they both have plenty of options. So if you're wanting to hang out, just have a nice time in the day and you don't want to party, party, you definitely have options.

[D]

This question is asked a ton and it's about the clothing optional aspect of.

[A]

Okay, now we're in the details. We want to know. Let's go. Okay, here we go.

[D]

Each one resort is topless optional as well as the cruise. However, on the cruise and in the solarium areas, they do have places where you can be completely nude. And of course the cruise also has the playrooms where you could be nude in the playrooms. And the resort does not have that.

[C]

The news, the way they picked the way that they portrayed the solarium earlier.

[A]

Was a quiet place, a quiet place.

[C]

But now it's nude.

[A]

Well, if I'm getting naked, I'm also being quiet, hoping no one notices what's going on down below. If I'm taking off my clothes. Everyone's shutting up. They're all going, oh, oh, let's, let's go to the promenade. I think things have turned, taking a turn for the worst. Barry, get your towel, darling. We're going to the promenade.

[D]

We do have more options for that clothing optional aspect on the cruise versus the resort. And you can only be topless optional at the pools, at the hot tubs, on the deck, on the cruise. So it's not like you're walking throughout the hotel or, or throughout the entire cruise and a ton of people are topless. There are areas where you can be topless and all the other areas you are not allowed to be topless.

[A]

Why not? Why does it fucking matter?

[C]

That was my exact question. Why does it matter?

[A]

Okay, restaurants Buffets. I understand.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. Even men, women, everybody. You want to have a shirt on so you don't get boob sweat, flop sweat, and pants. You don't want to get nut sweat in the potato salad. Yeah. Oh, God forbid. But if you're walking down the hallway at Temptations and you just got back from the pool where everyone was naked, Half naked, at least, why does it matter if there's a pair of tits walking down the thing? They're just tits. Let them fly. Who cares? But I agree when it comes to food around food, sanitation. But even at the bar, like, if you're not serving any food and you're just at the bar, I don't care if someone's nude. Yeah.

[C]

Or nude.

[A]

I'll tell you, the sex party that I went to, there was no part of the party where clothing was not, not, not optional. You know what I'm saying?

[C]

No, it just makes sense. Let it all be optional.

[A]

Absolutely.

[D]

And the resort do have different theme nights every single night. The one thing is, at the resort, it's going to be the same theme night every day of the week per week, if that makes sense. So usually throughout the entire year, those themes are going to stay the same, which makes sense because there's people coming in and going out throughout the entire year.

[A]

Versus this guy reminds me of our IT guy when we work together, doesn't he?

[E]

A little bit.

[C]

Yeah, he does.

[A]

He does. It's always the unassuming one. Yep.

[C]

Cruise.

[D]

Since it only sails twice a year, they're able to be a little bit more creative with the themes in that way. And so you have a bit more specific themes on the cruise. Four people are.

[C]

That makes no sense to me.

[A]

No. You only have five nights on the cruise. You have seven nights. Nights a week at the resort. So in just mathematically speaking, you're actually able to be more creative with the seven nights than the five nights. So it doesn't make much sense to me.

[C]

But okay, saying themes stayed the same each week, but then they change on the cruise. But that's only one week.

[A]

It's only one week a year because you haven't even had. Well, they haven't even had the first November cruise yet. That only happens here in 2025, according to them. So, yeah, that mathematically doesn't make sense. But.

[D]

But okay, that's up on theme more so on the cruise than they do at the resort.

[F]

So next we're going to go into food. They are very different when it comes to food. Now, the one thing that definitely Is very different.

[A]

I do care about my food. I got to get carb load before I. Before I got a car blowed before I car blow. You know what I'm saying, Chrissy?

[F]

Similarly, there is a buffet at both of these types of things. They generally have a late night buffet for both and both. There's a daytime, there's a breakfast buffet. So if you're wanting buffets, you're definitely going to be able to get it. I feel like at Temptation they do a little bit more themed with their buffets. And so you do have your normal buffet themed buffet.

[A]

What does that even mean?

[C]

I don't know. But first he just said they're very different between the resort and the cruise.

[A]

They both have different. Yes, they're very different, but generally the.

[F]

Same every single day. That has your standard items, but they also kind of have a theme. Whereas the cruises generally just have a large style.

[A]

Yeah, New Orleans Mexican night, Japanese cuisine, Chinese cuisine, edible underwear cuisine.

[F]

Yes, with a large array of food every single day.

[A]

Cruises are a bit more accommodating for dietary restrictions. However, there are options at both places if you do have restrictions. Okay, okay, great. I'm lactose intolerant.

[F]

So the food is included at both of these because they are all inclusive. But one thing to note is that on the cruises you only have one main dining room generally that is included in the price of your ticket. Whereas at the resort there is a lot of different restaurants that you can go to on the cruise. You go to your sit down dining room that's included. It's more elevated type food.

[C]

Do you dress up in like a tux?

[A]

Yeah, you dress up in a tux with chapless pants. And you walk in, you sit down.

[C]

A little bow tie, shirtless with the bow tie.

[A]

And by the way, he's saying the cruise has more elevated type food. And then they are showing a hockey puck of a steak with one potato, waxy green beans and old carrots. Elevated in what way? Like you're up on like actually geographically.

[F]

Most amazing food in the world. But we always really enjoy it. It's really a fun time to go there. But the resorts, they have a lot of really fun options. So they have, you know, an Asian type restaurant, they have a steak restaurant that has a show. They have multiple different restaurants, they're all included. So if you're there for three or four days, every single night you could go to a different restaurant which we always feel like is really fun.

[C]

As in every single night on the cruise, it changes.

[D]

Has a lot of different restaurants, too, but they do just cost an additional extra charge. And also at the resort, since you're able to.

[A]

This is, like, the worst review. For sexiest thing, you're reviewing a swingers club and a. Like, a dole sex cruise and an adult sex resort. If you're doing that, you have got to make it interesting. So far, we've heard about what a cruise is. We already knew what a cruise was. Welcome to Earth. People know what cruises are. All right, I'm done with this. You guys have bored me. I'm sorry. You've bored the commercial break. That's hard to do. Yes, because we need content. It's okay. I'm sure you mean well. Well, I. I got it.

[C]

Really? Learned much?

[A]

No, you should have planned this out a little bit better. You should have talked about the sex room. Yeah, you should have talked about your own experiences. Like, hey, we went into the playroom. We met this guy. He tickled my taint. I felt really good about it. Then there was a couple other people whacking each other off in the corner. It was interesting, and that's the kind of thing you can expect. Or we played some sex games on the promenade on Tuesday night. That was a lot of fun.

[C]

Hey, I got time up in the Shabari ropes one night.

[A]

Yes. Someone fell overboard playing with themselves on a balcony. I mean, something like. You got to give us the juicy details. Don't tell us about what cruise dining is like. We already know what cruise dining is like. Even people who haven't been on a cruise. Yes, yes. The Love Boat was on for 17 seasons. We know everybody goes and eats.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

At the same dining dining room every night. Okay, we got it. 10. 4. We've all been to an all inclusive resort or heard about them. Yes, we know there are restaurants. You eat at plenty of them. That's how it works. Okay, well, you got to sharpen up your travel reviews here, guys, if you're gonna grow that channel. But God bless you. I. I certainly. No knock on the lifestyle, just a knock on general content. Says everybody. Ever watch the commercial break? Hey, guys, you gotta make it more interesting. Okay, well, we're throwing good stones in a glass house, but what can you do? All right, couple things I want to remind you of. America's next best mediocre podcaster. Top comedy podcaster is on. So if you think you got what it takes to be the next top comedy mediocre comedy podcaster, hit us up. 2. 1, 2, 4, 3, 3, 3. TCB. 2 1, 2, 4, 3,. 382 2. Tell us you're interested in joining the competition. Tell us why. A little bit. Just give us a little bit. Couple paragraphs. That's it. I can't read too much. And then, yeah, we're going to work on getting that together.

[C]

If your goals are high but your expectations are low, send that to us.

[A]

If your goals are high but your work ethic is low, send that to us. May 31, the 12 hours of TCB celebrating five years of the commercial break mental health awareness. Tune in starting at 10am TCB podcast.com all the audio and the video YouTube.com the commercial break and at the commercial break on Instagram. Go check out Danny Ricker on Jimmy Come alive. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

[C]

I think. So.

[A]

I'll tell you that I love you.

[C]

And I love you.

[A]

Best to you.

[C]

Best to you.

[A]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chris, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say goodbye.

[C]

I.

[A]

Get asked.