TCB Classic: A New Years Love Connection

Summary

The Commercial Break

TCB Classic: A New Year’s Love Connection

Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Date: January 2, 2026
Guest Producer: Christina (former producer)

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Episode Overview

In this TCB Classic, Bryan and Krissy kick off the new year with a hilarious review of a vintage “Love Connection” episode. Their signature blend of offbeat observational humor, friendly ribbing, and affectionate nostalgia turns a simple dating-show recap into a riotous journey through retro television, cruise ship horror stories, and good old-fashioned awkward poetry. The episode also features a push for charitable giving during the holidays, shining a light on organizations supporting women and children in difficult situations.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Show Announcements & New Year’s Banter

• Bryan updates listeners on the new podcast schedule—Tuesdays and Thursdays are now livestreams, rebroadcast Mondays and Wednesdays.
• Lighthearted discussion about the hosts’ energy:
  • "There's only so much energy in this battery. And I got news for you, this battery is getting old." (01:29, Bryan)

2. The 12 Days of TCB & Charitable Shoutouts

• Listeners have been donating to causes like the National Breast Cancer Coalition, ASPCA, and St. Jude’s in response to TCB’s giving campaign.
• The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence is highlighted:
  • "They help women and children who are getting out of abusive situations get back on their feet..." (18:19, Bryan)

3. The Perils and Pleasures of Cruise Life

Time Window: 05:37-17:57

• Carnival Cruises = Black Friday Walmart
  • Bryan: "I've determined that Carnival Cruise has become the Black Friday Walmart of cruising." (08:21)
• Story of viral cruise misbehavior: a shirtless, drunk man tries to kick down doors within an hour of leaving port.
• Luxury Cruise Contrasts:
  • Comparing Carnival Cruises ($239 to Cozumel) to Ritz Carlton’s $41,000-per-cabin experience.
  • Krissy: “You put down the toilet seat, give yourself a shower when it’s left. Fun.” (14:36)
• Carnival Anecdotes:
  • Bryan recounts being strip-searched on re-entry after a Carnival Cruise: "At a strip search, including an anal cavity." (11:43)
• Recurring Theme:
  • Cruise packages, cheap liquor, and “stowaway rooms” beneath the waterline, aka the $100 specials with only a painting of the sea.
• Krissy suggests: “I think we should do it just for research purposes.” (14:52)

4. Love Connection Deep Dive

Time Window: 21:05–53:50

Setting Up the Episode

• Hosts reminisce on classic TV—Love Connection, hosted by the recently deceased Chuck Woolery.
• Bryan jokes about the show’s "wholesome awkwardness," especially the oddity of reciting poetry on blind dates.

Meet John: The Sweet but Awkward Contestant

First Impressions: 23:23-28:51

• John Duvall, 37, divorced for 13 years, midwestern disco enthusiast who “looks 62.”
  • "This guy does not look a day under 65... I think he’s 31. He looks like he’s 62." (23:23, Bryan)
• His social peak was during the disco years; with stories of platonic dance partnerships (his partner had a boyfriend, "made it clear there would not be any funny stuff").

Classic Love Connection Bizarre Daters

• Review of contestants Tony (the dancing woodworker), Lynn (talk-too-much, construction), and Ellen (forward, artistic sales rep).
• Bryan’s riff: “If you want to be taken seriously, don’t wrap your shirt in a bow.” (30:23, Bryan—about Lynn)
• Observations on 80s dating—audience votes, contestant descriptions, quirks.
  • Krissy: “She likes dancing. She likes woodworking. That’s something John could get into.” (29:12)

John’s Date With Ellen – The Play-by-Play

Key Moments: 40:06–51:29

• John picks Ellen (the "most advanced" of the group according to Krissy).
• His entrance: a home tour including a life-sized male nude painting.
  • Bryan: “There I saw it. Yes. His eyes. It was... a penis... and I came to the realization I was dating the wrong sex.” (41:52)
  • Ellen admits to artistically exaggerating some features.
• John delivers his infamous date poetry.
  • Krissy: "Maybe shy away from the self-portrait poem." (38:23)
  • Ellen’s verdict: “It was beautiful. It was warm and sensitive.” (47:48)
• Awkward romance: after dinner, they return to Ellen’s, end up making out sitting in a chair.
  • John: “All we’ve really done is maybe hold hands because we don’t want to rush these good dates.” (49:03)
  • John: “My jacket’s really getting heavy in my arms... you get tired if you stand up very long.” (49:26 & 49:43)
• The couple shares a sweet connection, with Ellen saying, “I found one [a handsome, intelligent, ambitious man].” (50:27)

5. Reflection & Closing Thoughts

• Hosts marvel at how refreshingly innocent and "classic" the couple is compared to typical modern or past ‘Love Connection’ weirdos.
• “You’d be hard pressed to find somebody in 2024 that talks and acts like this.” (52:10, Bryan)
• Walk down TV memory lane: daytime classics like “The Price is Right,” “Judge Wapner,” and “Oprah.”
• Reminder to donate to featured charities.

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Noteworthy Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Carnival Cruises:
   “I got news for you: this battery is getting old.” (01:29, Bryan)  “Carnival Cruise has become the Black Friday Walmart of cruising.” (08:21, Bryan)

• On Strange Cruise Rooms:
    "No window. Just a painting of the ocean. ... If the ship goes down, you're first room." (17:29, Bryan)

• On John from Love Connection:
    "This guy does not look a day under 65... I think he’s 31. He looks like he’s 62." (23:23, Bryan)   "All we’ve really done is maybe hold hands because we don’t want to rush these good dates.” (49:03, John)   “My jacket’s really getting heavy in my arms... you get tired if you stand up very long.” (49:26, John)

• On Date Poetry:
    Krissy: “Maybe shy away from the self-portrait poem.” (38:23)
    Bryan: “Nothing gets a girl wet like the last girl getting poetry written for her.” (38:42)

• On Classic TV:
    “I remember my parents watching this show a lot... you would get Price is Right, Love Connection, Judge Wapner.” (53:52, Bryan)

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Key Timestamps

• TCB Announcements & Holiday Thanks: 01:01-04:09
• Carnival Cruises Rant: 07:37-17:57
• Charity Spotlight (National Coalition): 18:19-20:24
• Love Connection Retro Recap Begins: 21:05
• Meeting John & Date Choices: 23:23-31:32
• Audience Voting & Date Set-Up: 32:00-40:06
• John & Ellen’s Date Breakdown: 40:06-51:29
• Feel-Good Wrap-Up: 52:10-53:52
• Podcast Outro & Charity Reminder: 53:52-end

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Tone & Style

• Playful, irreverent, and fast-paced with constant sidebar banter and classic “TCB” inside jokes.
• Nostalgic but self-aware, with affectionate snark toward retro television.
• Hosts seem genuinely charmed by the innocence of the Love Connection segment.
• Occasional serious beats (especially regarding charity work) handled with warmth and sincerity.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a pitch-perfect example of The Commercial Break’s wheelhouse: improvisational tangents, retro pop culture deep dives, and the sort of friendly, mocking analysis that makes even awkward 80s TV feel like a universal inside joke. The Love Connection segment is the highlight—complete with accidental innuendo, inadvertent sweetness, and a running comparison of earnest 80s romance with the zany weirdness of today’s reality dating culture.

If you like off-kilter pop culture riffs, a touch of heart, and the weirdness of forgotten television, this one’s a must-listen.

Transcript

[A]

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[A]

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[C]

That's a clicktastic inventory.

[A]

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[D]

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[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

Well, happy New Year and old anxiety and all that crazy you kids say. It's Brian just talking to you here from the studio, getting acclimated to the new schedule. Tuesdays and Thursdays live on YouTube.com thecommercialbreak and then you got us rebroadcasting those or publishing those here on the RSS feed every Monday and Wednesday. Subject to change at my discretion or my sobriety. I'm not even sure.

[E]

Whatever.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? Those of you who have been tuned in know that Monday and Wednesdays are the new release schedules. We're pulling back a little bit, so we're in it for the long haul so we don't get burnt out too quick. There's only so much energy in this battery. And I got news for you, this battery is getting old. All right, here's a TCB classic from the 12 days of tcb. I was gonna run the New Year's Eve one we did last year, but you know what? I enjoyed this one much more. It's the Love Connection episode from the 12 Days of TCB, which people commented on. I'm not sure what they said because I was drunk when I read the text messages, but it seemed to be causing quite a stir. So there you go. You'll hear Christina in this episode, our former producer. I like hearing her voice. It's fun to go back and listen to all the old. So here's a TCB classic. Make sure you follow us at the commercial break on Instagram. So you can be aware of when we go live on YouTube, Twitch and Kick. We'd love to see you there. Until next time. Happy New Year. Talk to you next Tuesday, January 6th, live TCB. Bye.

[D]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[F]

And we're gonna have the half, half.

[A]

Happiest Christmas in Sping Crosby tap dance with Danny fucking K. Oh, yeah. Dancers and prancers. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Greene. This is the Donna to my blitz and Kristen Joy Odley. Best. Best to you, Brian, and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Welcome Back to the 12 days of TCB. Here we are rolling toward Christmas Eve. Christmas Day, the day after Christmas, the day after, the day after Christmas. Every day. You get a new episode of the commercial break in December. Fear not. Thank you to everybody who has been supporting us, writing in.

[C]

I know.

[A]

Saying wonderful things about us. I do. I do love the reaction.

[C]

That is nice. That makes it worth it.

[A]

This has been great for the audience. Not so good for the three of us here in the room as we've been nonstop recording. But hey, we'll get a nice break. We will, Brian. The beat Em up boss will give you guys a break, I promise, real soon.

[C]

Yes, it will be well deserved.

[A]

Oh, man, will it be well deserved. So, yeah, and everybody has been writing in saying that really enjoying the 12 days of TCB. Some people have been so kind as to send screenshots of them donating. I saw a national Breast Cancer coalition fund or two the other day. Couple ASPCAs. And the St. Jude foundation seems to be a popular one with everybody. So thank you very much. Your swag is on the way. I do promise that. So, Chrissy, how are you feeling? I just wanted to take a temperature check in the room. How are you feeling?

[C]

I'm feeling good. I'm feeling great.

[A]

You sound like you got a little bit of a cold.

[C]

No, it's my throat. Because we've been doing so many shows day after day after day. I might need some tea and honey.

[A]

You need some tea and honey?

[C]

I might.

[A]

We'll get you some tea and honey after this episode. Not letting you go. You gotta finish this episode, man. I'll tell you what.

[C]

I even say I'm getting a cold. I do not want a cold.

[A]

Well, you and I already said it, so now you already got it.

[C]

But don't put that into the ethos.

[A]

Oh, God, I put it into the ether. What are we, Teresa Caputo now? What are we going to do you got to go around, spit twice, spin around, yell in the air? What are you going to do? How do you get rid of a cold? Well, listen, it is that time of year when people do get sick, and you have been coming here where I have 13 to 15 children that bring around every fucking disease possible. One of my kids had this weird. Have you ever heard of Rosalia? Have you heard of this? Rosalia is a very nondescript infection that children.

[C]

Oh, it sounds like a flower.

[A]

It sounds like a lovely flower. It basically blooms into an extraordinarily high fever with a rash. But adults don't get it. So don't worry. You don't have to worry about it. Or do adults get it? I'm not sure. If you get it, let me know. But my kid was cooking. She was like, at 105.0.7. And so when you touch her, she's hot. So listen to this. This is crazy.

[C]

105.7.

[A]

You say 105.7. Their brains are burning at that point. But not true with children. Children can. They have a lot of malleability in their brains because they're not fully formed yet. So it's a little bit. It's much different, actually, with a child. If you're at 105.7 as an adult, you're dead. I mean, there's no way your body can take that. So when my first one was born, about a year. He's a year and a half old, and one night he was sleeping in the bed with Astrid and I. And I rolled over in the. He was in the middle, rolled over, and I touched him, just, like, put my hand on him, right? And he was like a tea kettle. That's how hot he was. And I was like, holy shit. You know, he's a fever. So we get up, we get the thermometer, we take his temperature. He's at 105 something. And we are freaking the fuck out. We're like, oh, my God. So we get some cool damp cloths and we give him, you know, Tylenol or Motrin or whatever it is. And we put a call into the doctor, and the doctor says, well, listen, if it goes down, you know, great. If it goes up, go to the hospital. If it goes down, don't worry about it. Come and see us tomorrow. So we bring him in the next. When the doctor takes his temperature, it's at 106. And now. So I'm totally freaking out about this.

[C]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

And the doctor is like, don't it's our first don't worry about it.

[F]

Right.

[A]

Which is a really hard thing to do as a child. She's like, don't worry about it. Honestly. Sometimes kids go into the 107, sometimes even the 108s, and it's just their body reacting to an infection. As long as we can bring it down with some kind of medication or, you know, cooling them off in some way, shape or form, then we don't get worried about it. But I thought to myself, holy shit. Yeah, you could cook rice at 107. Can you cook rice at 107? What is water boil at? Fahrenheit?

[C]

100 degrees Celsius.

[A]

Celsius. What is it? I know. Celsius. That always gets me fooled.

[C]

Christina, you have the European.

[B]

No one knows this. I was embarrassed that none of us knew what temperature water boils.

[A]

Yeah. What is water boiling degrees? Fahrenheit, I think, is what it is. 127.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Okay, fact check that, Christina. Zero is 32 degrees.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

212 degrees Fahrenheit.

[C]

212.

[A]

212 degrees F. Had a little ways to go. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So we couldn't. We couldn't fry an egg on his head. Rice could boil on my son's chest. So anyway, if you get Rosalia, let me know. You know where they get a lot of infections like Rosalia is Carnival Cruises, apparently. I was going to share with you this. That. Oh, my. Where is this going? I was gonna share with you that. I was. Right before we got on, I was flipping through Instagram, as I do, and I saw this reel where someone had posted that a guy on a Carnival Cruise, not but 45 minutes to an hour after they left the La Port, was trying to kick down people's doors. He had his shirt off. Big boy trying to kick down doors on the Carnival Cruise. I have determined that the Carnival Cruise has become the Black Friday Walmart of cruising.

[C]

Because it's so cheap, right?

[A]

I mean, it's dirt fucking cheap. It's like a hundred dollars to go to Cozumel for the weekend.

[C]

Those ads before.

[A]

I've been on a Carnival Cruise, by the way. I went on there many years ago. My first cruise was a Carnival Cruise, and I thought it was lovely because they had nothing to compare.

[C]

Well, I was gonna say maybe that's the starter cruise.

[A]

Yeah, it's the starter cruise. It's the starter cruise. Or it's the. I want to get away for the weekend and I don't. You Know, I'm. I'm not getting paid till next week kind of cruise because I've been on Royal Caribbean and Disney cruise Now. Disney cruises are crazy expensive anyway, so you get what you. You get what you pay for in that sense. Royal Caribbean, I think, is like the middle of the road. They have Ritz Carlton cruises.

[C]

I'm on that list now.

[A]

I'm on that list.

[C]

I would go on a Ritz.

[A]

I would definitely go on a Ritz cruise if it wasn't $41,000 for the mid suite. $41,000 into it.

[C]

I was like. Well, I was like, jeff and I. Let's treat ourselves.

[A]

Jeff and I will treat ourselves. Yeah. Where do you work?

[C]

I was. That's way off.

[A]

Way off.41. But so there's a huge gap between $239 for a person to go to Cozumel for the weekend of $41,000 for the mid suite on a Ritz Carlton cruise. And so I understand that when you make it accessible or affordable for everyone to cruise, everyone's going to cruise. Everyone and anyone are going to cruise. But so far this year, I think I've, I think I've heard that Carnival Cruises has had to pull a poop cruise for three and a half days back to port. People have fallen or jumped off, sick, you know, all kind of bacteria running through there. You know, some lady died in the Jacuzzi. People are literally rocking the boat in the middle of the night. I can't tell you how many fights I've seen in those clubs at night that are going on in those Carnival cruises. What is wrong with people? Why can't. You're on a cruise. What's. So why is everyone so upset?

[C]

Somebody was looking at somebody's girl. That's what happened.

[A]

Drunk somebody's girl.

[C]

That's the way it happened.

[A]

That's true.

[C]

Look at somebody's man or somebody's girl.

[A]

And alcohol, Alcohol is the reason.

[C]

Unlimited alcohol or whatever that is.

[A]

That's the thing. And trust me, they're not giving you Cuervo 1800 on those cruises.

[C]

That's the top shelf.

[A]

Yeah, that's what we call the well liquor. You know why we call it the well liquor? You keep it in the well so people can't see it. That's a true story.

[C]

I know.

[A]

Yeah. Top shelf liquor is on the shelf. So people see it and they wanna buy it. Well liquor is in the well where no one can determine exactly what they're drinking, including the bartenders or the people selling you that Alcoh it is. It is a bad idea to order well drinks all night long because that alcohol is probably high octane.

[C]

Carnival Cruise is the well drink.

[A]

They're the well liquor of the cruise world. Absolutely. Listen, you can't fault someone for trying to find a deal in that. In that regard, I say, hey, listen, you know, if you can only afford $239 a night or a cruise, gotta get to Jamaica. And you've gotta get to Jamaica tomorrow to buy some weed and flush it down the toilet before you make it back to port like Brian did then. Listen, Carnival is a great option. By the way, Carnival Cruise was the cruise that I got stopped on the way back in.

[C]

That makes sense.

[A]

At a strip search, including an anal cavity.

[C]

Well, I'm surprised they were so strict.

[A]

Well, of course they are. They know that the people who are smuggling weed go on Carnival Cruises.

[C]

Yeah, I guess you probably don't get the same treatment on the Ritz Cruise.

[A]

No, at the Ritz Cruise. I don't know.

[C]

This way, sir.

[A]

Yeah, they land a helicopter these ways.

[C]

Here's a special container for the weed.

[A]

Yes. We will now pull into Star island in Miami where a Trump helicopter will pick you up and fly you back to a New York City skyscraper where there you'll have your ass wiped with only the finest cotton sheets.

[C]

500 thread count.

[A]

Yeah. In the Ritz Carlsen Cruisers, you press a button in the bathroom and it goes poo poo or pee pee. And someone comes running in and they dab your penis. If you pee pee, they go ping ping, clean the seat.

[C]

I wonder if they have bidets. I love a bidet.

[A]

Oh, they must have bidets on the Ritz Carl. Well, actually, no, there's spaces at a premium there. But I did look at the floor plans on the.

[C]

You know, I did too. I wish I could do that.

[A]

Exactly. I wish I could do that.

[C]

I was totally going on like my vision board.

[A]

Listen, true story. Asrin and I love a Ritz Carlton.

[C]

Oh, but we do.

[A]

We love a Ritz Carlton. We got married there. That doesn't mean we have money. It means somebody else had money to give us. Right. But we have been. We have been lucky enough to stay at a number of Ritz Carltons. We are the kind of people who go on vacation and we spend the money on the accommodations.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

Right. We have children, so we know that, you know, we're not going to do anything fun during the vacation, so we might as well stay somewhere nice.

[C]

We do too, because we like to relax.

[A]

Yeah. And so We've stayed at Ritz Carlton. Plus when you get married, the Ritz Carlton, they give you a bunch of points you can use, you know, to stay a place. So we've, we've made the best use out of those points. So I love a Ritz Carlton. So when those cruise line, when they started hitting me up about their news cruise ships, I was looking at every floor plan and some of those, some of those cruise ship suites at the Ritz Carlton, they're like 1300 square feet. Oh yeah, that's half this house. I mean it's, they're bigger than my apartment. I know. It's not even in, in the way that they do them up. Every inch is the finest quality. Everything. When you go, the price. Because of course, when you're paying $41,000 a night, a person to get on one of those cruises, a person. And then they only take you on like a three day cruise for $41,000. They have three restaurants. They have. When they have racquetball on a cruise ship, you know, you're cruising with stuff. I think they actually have a polo field there. I think Harry and Meghan do polo on the Ritz Carlton ship. But when you go on a Carnival cruise, because I've been on one, they stick a bed up against the wall. There's a porthole you can't see out of and the crapper is. The cramper and the shower are the same thing. Do you know what I'm saying?

[C]

Yeah, See, that's what I'm not going to do.

[A]

Yeah, you put down the toilet seat, give yourself a shower when it's left. Fun. Those cruise ships are fun.

[C]

We're going to Jamaica.

[A]

So you're saying there's a chance. Hey, Listen, after the 12 days of TCB, I'm treating everybody to a Carnival cruise.

[C]

I think we should do it just for research purposes.

[A]

Oh, I would do it. I think those Carnival cruises are the ones where they have the, like the yacht.

[C]

I'll bring my own food.

[A]

The wrestling cruises are definitely on Carnival, I can guarantee you that.

[C]

Absolutely. Brad Williams was on that.

[A]

Yeah, Brad Williams. Or the 90s music cruise, which apparently is very popular. I saw there was a 311 cruise. Creed has done a cruise.

[C]

Everybody has a cruise.

[A]

Everybody has a cruise. Why not a TCB cruise?

[B]

Heather McMahon has a cruise.

[A]

Heather McMahon has a cruise.

[C]

I saw that cruise would be fun.

[A]

I bet it would too. For sure.

[C]

I know I. She's been talking about it for a while and I'm excited to hear the Stories from it.

[A]

Why can't we have a cruise? Well, I think we need to actually probably do the live shows we bailed on last year before we do people texting all the time. What are those live shows? Stay tuned. Stay tuned. Those live shows may now be on Twitch. We'll figure it out. Hey, we gave you refunds. What can we do?

[C]

The live show's now on Twitch.

[A]

Yeah, the live show's now on Carnival Cruise from here to Cozumel. Now, Carnival's not in on this. It's just us. It's like these charities we've been talking about. They know nothing about it. Neither does Carnival Cruise. Chrissy and I will be doing a live episode of TCB in the formal dining room every night at our table, which I just hope we can sell the table.

[C]

I just hope we can have a room that your mom has off to the side at the retirement.

[A]

Yes. A private. Yeah, if not, then we'll do it. We'll do it next to the bed by the porthole. I can see it.

[E]

I do.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

We had a whole show planned.

[A]

Yes, well, we had a whole show planned. I'm not even gonna get into it. It's not even worth talking about. We'll get back to it, I promise. But on Carnival, let's put a pin.

[C]

In it for right now and circle back.

[A]

Let's put a. Yeah. 20, 30. When my next parathyroid gets taken out, when my next tumor grows, then we'll think about it. Carnival Cruise actually sells, and I think a lot of cruise ships do this. They sell rooms underneath the waterline.

[C]

Oh, my God. Those are the $200?

[A]

Yeah, those are the $200. Well, I don't know. On Carnival, you might get a balcony for 200 bucks, but you can actually get one of those. Stowaway room. And they call it the Stowaway room.

[C]

Like in best in show when they put them in the hotel room.

[A]

Janitor closet.

[F]

Yes.

[A]

I'm not even kidding. No window. Just a painting of the ocean. You can pretend where. You can pretend that everything. This is the. If the ship goes down, your first room. That's why it's a hundred dollars. We need the weight to balance out the ship. $100. What do you say? But we'll let you have all the well liquor you want. Don't worry about it.

[C]

That was probably the guy that was busting down doors on the carnival.

[A]

Oh, man. I'll tell you, whatever was going on, he looked angry. They actually had to sedate him. The doctors sedated like an elephant. They just stuck him like an elephant. That's crazy. I mean, I don't even know if that's legal, but I guess out in open water, anything's legal.

[C]

And they're no less lawless.

[A]

Hey, listen, great idea. I don't drink. So next time I go on the Carnival Cruise, I'm gonna start kicking down doors to get the good stuff. All right? Okay, listen. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence is what we're talking about for the next couple of days or for the last couple of days we've been talking about it. We are going to put a link in the show notes. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence helps women and children who are getting out of abusive situations get back on their feet, find Shel, get away from the abusive relationships, and then get back on their feet. And also with financial literacy so that they can take care of themselves and their family during what has to be extraordinarily difficult times.

[C]

Super important.

[A]

I know that the local women's shelter around here, which we give a lot of stuff to and money to, this is the busiest time of the year. You can only imagine. And a lot of women choose to decouple from those situations. Now, a lot of those women have children. And it's just a terrible, scary, yet scary. It's a terrible thing to think about. And then to think about the fact that the kids may not have Christmas gifts, which makes it twice as miserable and twice as scary, and that the women are really in a shitty situation. They've got to dig themselves out of. These people do God's work by helping other human beings get out of terrible situations. So if you would donate a dollar, even a dollar can make a big difference this time of year to any of the causes we've been talking about. But this one feels near and dear to my heart. So if you would please, we'll put a link in the show notes directly to their website where you may make that donation directly to them. We have nothing to do with it, but we're just encouraging you to do some good during the 12 days of TCB. The love connection has nothing to do with the carnival cruises or the abuse, but. Or maybe, I don't know. We don't know what happened in every Love Connection relationship, do we? But I will promise you the person we're reviewing today is not an abuser. I'll promise you this. Probably the nicest guy that's ever been on Love Connection. We're gonna be back with one of our favorites. What the fuck, Chuck? Love Connection. After these Words. We'll be back.

[B]

Holidays getting you down. Family acting out of pocket. Text us and tell us all about it at 212-4333, TCB or leave us a voicemail with all of the unhinged and or spicy details. And then follow us on Instagram hecommercial break and on TikTok CBpodcast. If you need a laugh or an escape, you can always escape for a full hour and watch our YouTube videos at YouTube.com thecommercialbreak while you simultaneously peruse our website tcbpodcast.com to find out all there is to know about Brian and Chrissy. Now let's hear from our sponsors so we can afford the holidays this year.

[A]

Oh, man. Okay, listen. Over the last couple of years, one of our favorite things to do is to review dating shows. Now Yesterday we reviewed MTV's parental control. What a terrible.

[C]

Whatever happened to Jeremy?

[A]

I didn't find Jeremy. Actually didn't find Jeremy. I would have thought for sure wiped his history clean. He's probably. Or he's not around. He's not with us anymore. He's incarcerated somewhere. Jeremy. I couldn't find him. I thought for sure he would be a, you know, someone trying to make a living on Instagram. But he. I didn't find him. I'll continue to look. My search skills are fantastic. So if he's out there, I'll find him. But I only spent a couple minutes on it yesterday. Okay, so one of our favorite things to do has been to review Love Connection episodes. Love Connection, of course, the very famous dating show from back in the 80s and early 90s. They actually had two versions of the Love Connection. One with Chuck Woolery and then another one in the mid-90s with another guy not as funny. Chuck is definitely the best. Although he became problematic in his later years. He was great. But he's great now. He's great.

[C]

Back in the 80s recently, right?

[A]

Chuck Woolery did. I believe I do remember seeing something about this.

[C]

I was like, oh, Chuck died.

[A]

Yeah, Chuck died. Okay. I think Chuck died. We'll figure that out. Is he dead? Yeah, he's dead.

[B]

November 23rd, recently.

[C]

So that's what I was thinking.

[A]

Oh, he just died November 23rd. Oh, I know. Okay, well, Chuck, for at least in the 80s, you were a nice guy. So I think I have found the nicest guy that has ever been on the Love Connection stage. And that is saying something because in the 80s the people just had a different pers.

[C]

Like attitude and also looked 20 years.

[A]

Older and also look this guy. Wait till you see this guy. I think he's 31. He looks like he's 62. Wait till you see this guy. Okay, let's review this episode of Love Connection. Here's our boy, Chuck Woolery. Oh, can you hit play for me? Thanks. And also the music.

[B]

I thought I unmuted it, but I don't think.

[A]

Yeah, there you go.

[F]

They were the best years of his social life.

[A]

Look at him. He is 37 years old. Chrissy, this guy does not look a day under 65 years old. This is amazing.

[C]

I know.

[A]

We have started. I think all those preservatives are huge.

[C]

Mustache.

[A]

Look at that.

[C]

The mustache, I think adds.

[A]

Yeah, the mustache does add years.

[B]

And the jowls.

[A]

Yeah, the jowls and the gray hair. All of it together. And the caterpillars on top of his eyes.

[F]

Been divorced for 13 years, but he says that he wants to get married real soon. Oh, please welcome John Duvall.

[C]

The men don't usually say that.

[F]

Out. Hello, John.

[A]

How are you?

[F]

Cecil? Cecilia. Kentucky. That's down around Fort Knox, isn't it?

[D]

It's about 30 miles as a crow flies south. Fort Knox.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

It's about 30 miles outside of Fort Knox. You see what you do? Yeah. If you take a 40 over there to exit 32, then you get off at 32, you can take 16 over to 12. You know where the gas station is? Chevron, you'll take a right there. I live about 12 miles from there. And you gotta pass a couple of past years first, Chrissy. Just letting you know.

[F]

Okay, what was so Special it said 1979, 1980, they're the best years of your social life. What was so special about that?

[D]

That was when disco rang supreme.

[C]

Oh, he was begging to disco.

[A]

I love John. He's so sweet.

[C]

I know.

[A]

I used to get him a bell bottoms. And I would go out on Friday night and I like to wear the bell bottoms, but my penis often showed, so I'd put a in there so as not to upset any of the women folk. And then we'd go out and party hard. We did a lot of cocaine and poppers back then. And that's why I think it was fun.

[D]

Big discord. I had a dance partner we had did about 10 years older than I was. She had her own boyfriend.

[C]

Yeah, but she had her own boyfriend.

[A]

This is the nicest guy that's ever lived. Oh, my God. I had a dance partner. She had a boyfriend. Made it pretty clear to me that there would not be any funny stuff. Stuff but that was okay with me. I wasn't very sexually immature. I was only 29 years old. I wasn't quite ready for the full ride, if you know what I mean.

[D]

Chuck made it kind of nice because we would go out there and really do our thing and had a little costumes on. Had costume. Exactly.

[F]

What kind of costume?

[D]

Oh, I had like a tuxedo shirt with tuxedo pants and suspenders.

[F]

Oh.

[C]

That'S quite the look.

[A]

I got my whole outfit at TJ Maxx for about 30. And then she would be wearing a sparkly do, if you don't mind. And then we would go out there and do our thing. And there was absolutely no physical contact afterwards. It was kind of nice for me. And her husband's partner had a nice.

[D]

Disco grass and we would do her thing and she would go sit with her boyfriend. And then this was what was so great about 79 and 80.

[C]

He's just perking right up.

[A]

Look at his eyes. Yeah, he's like. This was what's so great about 79 and 80. Most people thought I was gay, so I really did not get a lot of action. But I looked good doing it. You know what I'm saying, Chuck, I'm.

[D]

Over and ask me to dance instead of having it the other way around.

[F]

Surely. So you're good.

[A]

Probably.

[D]

Hey, I made them all feel like Ginger Rogers. And they've loved me for it. They love me so. Well, increase my dating about maybe five to ten times a week.

[F]

Really?

[A]

Five to ten times a week? There's only seven days in a week.

[C]

Geez, he's quite the man about the discos.

[A]

Yeah. I think. I think even when I was dating someone seriously, we wouldn't go on five dates a week. You know what I'm saying? Very much.

[F]

Well, now, what happened to your social life after Disco took a dive?

[A]

Well, it did plummet. I got into Transformers and model trains. And I had a model train partner. And you see, she would come in and help me with the model train, but she was married. But what would happen is we would go to the model train conventions, and then oftentimes I would be approached by other men to play with their trains. And it was nice in that regard. I felt like I was being paid attention to.

[C]

It really embodied embodying this character.

[A]

I think this guy's very nice. I wish for one minute I was. I wish for one minute I was as innocent as John was.

[D]

Country western scene came in.

[F]

He just changed with music. Doesn't matter. Country Western scene. Take off the sequin vest and hop into your cowboy boots.

[A]

Wasn't.

[D]

I couldn't keep up with the steps.

[F]

I don't even know Cotton Eye Joe.

[A]

Cotton eye Joe.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

I didn't really like it, Chuck, because disco was so sweet. And the way we turn and it's touch dancing. And this was all hey, jerk them around, cowboy. I didn't like.

[A]

This was all jerk them off, cowboy. I was at a certain kind of cowboy bar and I don't know, it just didn't feel right to me.

[C]

Chuck here for it.

[A]

Plus the tight jeans didn't show off the best of me, if you know what I mean. I found that my dating decreased by five to ten days a week.

[D]

In fact, I get sore arms and dancing with some of the cowgirls. And so I didn't like that.

[A]

I bruised easily, Chuck. I got sore arms from dancing with the cowgirls.

[C]

Wow. He gave it a shot, sounds like.

[A]

So he's a man about town.

[C]

He likes to dance, basically.

[A]

He does. When you got hair like that. Well, disco is your thing. It is, right? I think he probably should have changed his haircut after disco.

[D]

Been doing the last couple years waiting.

[F]

For disco to come. Waiting for disco to come.

[D]

Sitting at home and playing disco with my phone.

[F]

Well, let's take a look at the tape.

[A]

Playing disco with my thumbs to John, son.

[F]

I remember you're going to vote.

[A]

This is my favorite part. When we get to look at the ladies, he's going to choose.

[F]

Okay, first there was Tony. She enjoys dancing and woodworking. She's been divorced.

[C]

She likes.

[A]

She likes dancing. She likes woodworking.

[C]

And woodworking.

[A]

And woodworking. I think that's something John could get into.

[F]

She has a 5 year old son now. She thinks the best thing about being single is having her own bathroom room. And she says men are a constant source of surprise. And here's what she means.

[G]

Someone who seems like they'd be very dull on a date turns out to be very exciting. Some that you think would never be interested in. In small child become very attached.

[A]

Oh, well, that might be a downside there, Terry. The 80s were a different time, guys. Some men just have take no interest in my child. And some take a lot of interest in my child. That's right.

[E]

Right.

[A]

I think this lady's a perfect fit for our boy here. Very soft spoken. Yeah.

[G]

Tony, my child, it's. It's always new and it's always different.

[A]

All right. How's your child feel about that?

[C]

I know Lynn.

[F]

She admits that she talks too much. She says that she'd like to get married so that she can stop having blind dates and start having children. Here's how Lynn likes to be greedy.

[A]

Lynn's 33, looks 43.

[G]

I want to be taken seriously, definitely, like, you know, not because I'm female.

[A]

If you want to be taken seriously, don't wrap your shirt in a bow. I mean, let's just be real about it.

[G]

Have different anatomy, that I have different feelings or different emotions than they do. But if they want to be a gentleman, that's. Oh, that's okay. If it makes them feel comfortable, I don't demand, you know, I don't have to have anybody open my door.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

She's very forward for the early 80s, Joe. Well, you got to be. You got to have a good head on your shoulders to be in construction.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Finally watched out Ellen. She's originally from richmond. Richmond, virginia. She enjoys going to museum. Says that she wants a man who's attractive and smart as she is. Here's what she doesn't.

[A]

You can tell in Ellen's eyes that she's already way too advanced for our boy here.

[C]

I think so.

[G]

I don't want him to be an egotistical person. I'd rather have somebody that was more interested in things in his life than his own life.

[B]

In other words, like.

[G]

Like maybe his hobbies or, you know, things that he does rather than himself. I don't want the guy that's always pulling, taking the mirror and going like this while he's driving.

[A]

Well, you lugged out on this one. I'm not sure this guy even has ever looked in a mirror.

[F]

Okay, look at all three of us again. First is Tony. She's 36. She's high school teacher. Lynn works in the construction industry, and she's 33. And Ellen's 34. She's a sales rep for a textile company. The audience. You met john, seen his three choices, Know a lot about it.

[C]

Oh, they're choosing now number one.

[D]

All right.

[C]

It was such a fun and interactive way for the audience.

[A]

It is a fun and interactive way for the audience to get involved, choose which person's gonna go on a blind date with this luscious, lovely man.

[F]

We're out of time, so we're gonna find out who john picked and hear everything that happened.

[A]

Don't worry, chrissy. I got the second half.

[F]

We're gonn tomorrow, though. That's our show for today. I'm chuck woolery. I hope all your dates tonight are good ones. We'll see you tomorrow.

[D]

Bye.

[A]

Bye, everybody.

[C]

That's A nice way to end things.

[A]

Yeah. This is one of the very early episodes, by the way. You can tell just by the hissing noise in the background and the way that this is made, how they can.

[F]

Get on Love Connection, it's a lot easier than they think. Now, if you're over 21, just call this number right here and have a free date on us. How bad can that be?

[C]

Well.

[A]

Well, it's kind of weird that you set people up on blind dates. They show up in each other's houses. Ye.

[C]

Oh, that's an early set.

[A]

Yeah. I love the music.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

All right.

[A]

Wardrobe furnished by Pierre Cardet. Pierre Cardan. Chrissy. I'm just letting the music play because I like it. Today you'll meet J. John.

[F]

He always recites poetry to his dates.

[A]

Yesterday the audience voted on which of mine. Do you think that reciting poetry to you, would that be weird or would you like that?

[C]

I mean, it depends on the poetry.

[A]

Yeah, but I mean like if you just met a guy and he came in on the second date and he just said, I'd like. I have a poem for you. I'd like to read it. Yeah, maybe like the second year of marriage, right? Yeah, something like that. No, not for you.

[B]

I don't think there is any situation where it is appropriate for a man to read me a poem.

[A]

Oh really?

[B]

Unless I am at a poet's event, yes.

[C]

What if you had someone create a mega poem? Write a poem for me.

[A]

I've written soliloquies, but I don't think I've ever written a poem for anybody. And I certainly wouldn't recite them to him. That's what imessage is for.

[B]

It's like making someone listen to you play the guitar. It's giving Barbie, you know, you guys know the scene.

[A]

Yeah, I've done that a lot.

[C]

Escaping.

[A]

Brian, but to be fair to me, I was drunk or high. So there you go. Go these three women. They willingly did it because they said, well, it's better than him talking. I said, do you want to hear a little Brian's escape?

[C]

That's right.

[A]

Here's our latest single he best for him Today you'll hear who John chosen. It's out of Sunny side Up. I just was a fan of things that words that sounded good together, they had no meaning. Yeah, says his date. And you'll meet Jan.

[F]

The audience chose a date for her and it didn't work out.

[A]

Today we'll hear about her date with the man she chose. We won't actually hear about that date. But we'll hear about Joe's Day.

[C]

They were like already saying it didn't work out back then.

[A]

Well, because she came back for a second round. You see what I'm saying?

[C]

But they didn't. But in later years they don't say.

[A]

No, they don't do that in later years. They also don't have a seven and a half minute introduction like the commercial break did for the first two seasons.

[F]

Now here's our host, Ch.

[A]

Polar.

[F]

All right, thanks everybody. Thank you.

[A]

Wow, it's so good looking.

[C]

Hey, Betty has ass hair.

[A]

We love ass hair.

[F]

Thank you. Thank you very much.

[A]

Ladies.

[C]

Love get started by meeting our.

[F]

Our first guest. He's originally from Cecilia, Kentucky. He's been divorced for 13 years, but he says that he's ready to remarry. Says that he came to Love Connection because he didn't like the women he's been meeting.

[A]

13 years. He's 37. So he got divorced at 25. 25. Got divorced, yeah, 24. Yeah, that's. That's young to get divorced. Yeah, but I mean, if you were married to John. Well, I know John. It's going to take a certain kind of personality. Nice guys sometimes do finish last. It's a true story. And the reason why nice guys finish last is because there is a certain boredom that comes with always being nice. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I can see John.

[C]

Well, in your young 20s, maybe.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[C]

He sounds exciting with the discos.

[A]

Well, listen. Yeah, he sounds so exciting that he couldn't find his own dance partner.

[F]

Hi, John. Welcome back. Have a seat. Well, John, what's. What's wrong with the women you've been meeting?

[D]

Well, I'm still, you know, meeting some women at bars and places like that.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

And they seem to be a lot different than they did back in the, you know, the early 80s and the late 70s. They're more cold and callous and. And in fact it seems like they're more ugly.

[F]

Why do you think they got more ugly?

[C]

He threw that in there too. Damn.

[A]

Well, Brad bit.

[C]

I know.

[B]

Well, women got standards and he can't stand it.

[A]

I can't take it anymore. More. I don't.

[D]

Well, it's. It's really hard to say. Maybe I could be getting older too.

[A]

And you could be getting older, John. That might be a statement. That might be true.

[D]

And I was dating before that were younger, getting older too.

[A]

And we're all getting old. What sort of poetry yeah, we're. We're all getting older, Chuck. It's just one of those unfortunate things. One year I'm 36 and the next year I happen to be 37. My birthday was last Tuesday, Chuck and I almost ran over a squirrel. Luckily I avoided any kind of contact, but it was because my arms are sore from all that flipping and flopping into country western type music.

[F]

Well, I rewrite this.

[D]

This poetry is my own and I write it. And normally on a date if I recite the poetry, I'll recite a poem about myself.

[A]

Just let the girl roses are red.

[C]

About himself.

[A]

I'm getting older. How about you.

[D]

Don'T know what I'm like. It's like a self portrait poem. Then if like say if I like the girl.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Maybe shy away from the self portrait poem.

[A]

Yeah, we don't need to hear about your self reflection. It's like Aaron Rodgers doing a whole Netflix special on his ayahuasca experience. It's just a little, it's a little glow up we don't need. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

[D]

Now I'll recite her a poem that I wrote to one of my last love.

[A]

Which was cool.

[F]

To one of your last.

[A]

Nothing gets a girl wet like the last girl.

[C]

Getting poetry right for the last.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It works every time.

[D]

I don't mention her name or anything like that.

[F]

Of course you don't say to Helen.

[D]

I do have one poem that I have a blank and I could put up girls names.

[A]

Well, please repeat it. Please recite it. But of course Chuck won't have a follow up question here which will suck because that's not what Chuck does. Chuck's bad at follow up questions.

[D]

But I don't do that.

[F]

Let's bring everybody up to date on what happened yesterday.

[A]

Let's move this along. Let's move away from the interesting part of the show and back to the boring part of the show.

[F]

Now we showed the audience John's three choices. They voted on which one they thought would be best for him. And we're going to take a look to catch you up today. First there's Tony. She enjoys dancing and woodworking.

[C]

I mean I kind of like it.

[F]

And that's Tony. Then Lynn, she says that she'd like to get married so she can stop having blind dates and start having babies. Helen says that she wants it.

[A]

Yeah. Thanks Chuck. Well, to be fair, that's what she said.

[F]

Who's as attractive and smart as she is. Now the audience vote was recorded yesterday. We're going to get that a bit later on. Right now. John's going to remind us who he chose. Who you think, Chuck?

[D]

I chose Ellen.

[F]

Chose Ellen. Oh. Oh.

[A]

He chose the one that I thought would be least a fit for him Because Ellen looks. Ella looks and sounds like she's lived some life.

[C]

Saucy.

[A]

And John looks like he literally reads novels on his day off.

[F]

Let's do right now. Let's say hello to Ellen Gski.

[A]

Gsky.

[F]

I'm sorry.

[A]

Ellen Gky.

[F]

Hi. Hi, Ellen. Hi, ellen.

[A]

How are you?

[F]

Fine, thank you. Just make yourself at home back there. Okay. And you can tell me about the date.

[D]

I went over to pick Ellen up.

[A]

Yeah. And took Route 34. And then I got off at exit 12. And I was in my jeans and had some suspenders on. Chuck. All right, John, let's move it along. Now.

[D]

She invited me in and I go, you know, into the house right there. And she looked very nice. The beautiful blue eyes. What would she correct me this? Turquoise eyes. Very, very nice party and very nice.

[A]

Give us.

[D]

Let'S say every, let's put it.

[F]

Everything.

[D]

We're, we're in the right places, I think.

[A]

Absolutely.

[F]

That's good. Just broke the eyes. Yeah.

[D]

And I, I, I get in. So we've got givers a chance to puff the roast, uh, water. Water and shedded water. Some of their other plants. So I kind of went on a little tour.

[A]

All right, John, let's move it along now. We only have 15 minutes.

[C]

She had some other plants.

[A]

She had some other plants. Please name them, please. I hope this guy names them.

[D]

And we get into this one room and she opens up the door and I'm noticing some of the art that she does. She's a. She's a fantastic artist. Nice paintings. Just one painting, though. We're talking life size male nude.

[F]

Oh.

[A]

And there I saw it. Yes. His eyes. It was. It was a penis. And I came to the real life size. Yeah, life size penis. And I came to the realization I was dating the wrong sex.

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

Now, I mean, you know, am I here and somewhere right now, you know, I don't know. And in fact, maybe you'd be thinking.

[F]

Would she want to paint you? Well, I don't know.

[D]

I don't know if I could meet up with this nude.

[C]

I don't know if I could lead up to this.

[A]

I don't know if I could meet up to this dude. He doesn't. His penis doesn't quite measure up right.

[D]

Yeah, he's a very good artist. And I mean, we're talking detail in some areas, if you know what I mean.

[C]

He's been dying to tell this story.

[A]

Oh, he has an exciting thing that.

[C]

Happened to him since the discus.

[A]

He knew the second that he walked into that room that he had the best love connection story. And he might be right because this might be episode number three. And it had great detail in some places. Please tell us which places it had great detail.

[D]

Hours posing. This one.

[F]

A lot of hair under the arm.

[D]

Exactly.

[A]

All right. I think that's a good place that we should take a break. Let me remind you you that we are talking about the women's co or the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence is one of the five charities that we are going to focus on during the 12 days of TCB. We're just shining a light on these charities that do such great work. And if you would be so kind as to just donate a few dollars, $5, $10, $50, thousand dollars, whatever it is to one or multiple of these charities, we certainly would appreciate it. It'll make you feel better. Better. They'll be able to do some more good. Go out there in the world in 2025 and help some people, some pets.

[C]

And we've vetted these charities too. They use almost all of their money that's donated.

[A]

Most of these charities use a majority of their money. I mean, all of these charities use a majority of their money to the intended causes, which not all charities do. There are many charities, probably the ones you know most about because you hear about them all the time, that do nothing but market their own charity. They'll spend, spend like 70% of their budget on getting more money and then they pay their, you know, the people who run these organizations a whole shitload of money. None of these organizations do that. St. Jude does do a lot of advertising, but they also do a whole shitload of good. And they do more good than they do advertising anyway. You get the point. Links are in the show notes. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Please go donate. We'll take a break and we'll be back.

[F]

Hi.

[B]

You know what time it is, so let's get to it. Pull that phone out of your pocket and follow us on Instagram hecommercial break and on TikTok for now, I guess, cvpodcast. You can also find all of our video content that we're filming in our brand new [e-mail] TheCommercialBreak so check it out and throw us a follow a like a comment, whatever you can spare. If you want to get in touch with us. You can always text us or call us and leave us a voicemail email at 212-433-3333, tcb. Now, I have one last request. During the 12 or 263 days of tcb. Check out our featured charities and donate to them if you can this holiday season. All right, let's take a listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

[A]

All right, now we're back with.

[C]

All right.

[A]

All right. We got it. No problem. Don't worry about it. Christina here in studio with us, by the way, just doing a wonderful job. There's so many moving part out of this whole thing.

[B]

Despite my snafu earlier.

[A]

You know how many times we've done it? If we had never done it, I probably would be frustrated. But we have done it so many times that it's just part of the gig.

[C]

Yeah, we're really on season 10 earlier today, too.

[A]

So I don't feel that Christina and I recorded something twice today. All right, so we're back with Chuck. He is literally with the nicest guy in the world. They're about to tell us about. Well, they started. He started to tell us about his date, his blind date with this young lady. And we got to the part where he walked in the apartment and he saw a nude painting of another man with a apparently very large penis. Here we go.

[F]

Who was the model for this particular painting?

[G]

Well, I went to an art school in Brentwood, and it was just one of the art. The models that they have at the art school. But I guess I exaggerated some.

[C]

Some things in certain. Okay, she got creat.

[A]

Ouch. Huck is blushing.

[C]

I know. You know, the people in the audience do are freaking out.

[D]

I'm really getting to like her a lot. And I'm thinking, you know, it's about time for the. You know what? The poetry.

[A]

Oh, lord. You just walked in the door, John. You just walked in the door and saw a picture of a penis.

[C]

The poetry.

[A]

The poetry. I thought he was going to say, you know what? My penis. I mean, honestly, you can't give this girl 15 minutes before you start dropping poetry on her, man. The 80s were a different time. Because if this worked, if she goes on a second date with him, I'm going to be very surprised.

[F]

Not exactly the first thing that. Not the first thing that bounced into my mind. No.

[A]

I'm sensing he's a rap scallion that John. Remember that.

[F]

Oh, I. I realize, with all due.

[C]

Respect, he does his little eye roll, too.

[A]

I know he's Got his little eyes. Those eyebrows move up and down and they're accentuated by the world's largest eyebrows. So they just, you know, they. You can't help but definitely notice. Okay. He's like a little kid. He's kind of cute.

[D]

So I recite a couple of poems. One about myself and then that one special poem that I referred to earlier.

[A]

The one special poem.

[C]

The one that I wrote for the Lab of Love.

[F]

What'd you think of his poetry?

[G]

Oh, it was beautiful. It was warm and sensitive and I'm here with you.

[A]

I walked through the door. Did you know my penis hits the floor?

[G]

He's an excellent poet.

[F]

Painter. And a poet here. I can't believe it. Okay, so what happened next?

[D]

Okay, well, we leave there and we caught something to eat and then we went back to her place.

[A]

You caught something to eat?

[C]

I know.

[A]

This talks so weird. Yeah.

[D]

And she invited me in and I had to get my. I had. I left a jacket right there and it happened to be in her bedroom.

[A]

Wait, hold on. What happened to the rest of the date? You went and got something to eat. What happened there? John? Yeah.

[C]

Came back to her house.

[A]

You're naming.

[C]

And then he had left his jacket in her bedroom.

[A]

That's weird.

[C]

While he went on the. The food alley, he was trying to.

[B]

Get another look at that.

[C]

He was. Was the mood in the bedroom, in.

[A]

One of the doors in the apartment, first of all. Second of all, you were literally describing plants she had in her house. And you said we went to eat. I mean, what happened?

[C]

I know.

[D]

So obviously I had to go get my jacket and got my jacket and we got back to the. The door and so far all we've really done is maybe hold hands because we don't want to rush these good dates.

[A]

And what.

[C]

Oh, you savor it.

[A]

Yes. So far all we've done is I. I brushed. I brushed side her, Chrissy. And I got a erection immediately. And you don't want to rush these things, you see.

[D]

So I said, well, I'll give her a little peck on the lips, you know. And a little peck on the lips.

[A]

Got a little bit of. Bit more. A little bit more.

[D]

And this jacket's really getting heavy in my arm.

[A]

So this is the same guy who bruises because of country western dancing. You have to understand, John hasn't been to a gym ever.

[D]

Falls to the floor and just so happens there's a chair there because you get tired if you stand up very long.

[A]

Then when do you get tired if you stand up very long? Well, who Is this guy.

[C]

He sat down to kiss more.

[A]

Wait, did she sit on you like there's a chair? Yeah. Geez, John. God, I thought. Thought you were a nice guy. Now you're just like a. You're a little hellcat waiting to be unleashed here.

[D]

And we're still kissing and we thought, well, this has been such a nice time, maybe it's time to cool it.

[A]

No, she thought, this has been a nice time, maybe it's time to cool it.

[D]

That's basically when the date ended. It was a.

[A]

Okay, so you told us about none of the dates so far. You walked in, saw a penis painting, caught something to eat, made out on a chair, and she told you. Enough is enough. Enough.

[D]

We both agree.

[A]

Okay, that's nice.

[F]

I like it. How would you sum up this day, Ellie?

[G]

Well, when I came to Love Connection, I was looking for a handsome, intelligent man that was ambitious. And I. I found one.

[A]

Ah, wow. There we go. They made a love connection.

[F]

Let me see the audience before you.

[A]

I found my dancing partner who does not have a boyfriend.

[C]

That's right.

[F]

Yeah. How good they were.

[C]

I knew they were.

[A]

Pick one. Yeah, because of the dancing and because they're both very quiet in nature.

[F]

51%.

[C]

He just gave the audience scathing look.

[A]

Yeah. He gave them the death stare. I think lasers came out of his eyeballs. That was crazy.

[F]

But if you want to take the audience's advice and take Tony out, you know, that's. That's the one we'll pay for. Because that's who they suggested. If not, you're on your own. You can do what you want.

[D]

I hope it's quite obvious by now that I would very much like to go out with Ellen.

[F]

Actually, it is rather obvious.

[A]

I. Yeah, it's very obvious.

[C]

Come on out, Ellen.

[A]

As much as it can be in 80s television that things have heated up between the two of you.

[C]

Oh, yes.

[F]

Come on out.

[C]

Come on out.

[A]

Come on down. Come on down. Get yourself a furry young man. Lovely.

[C]

A leather skirt too.

[A]

I like it. Lovely. Good for them. I actually wanted to see this work out for this guy because he really is a nice guy. You don't like. You would be hard pressed to find somebody in 2024 that is. That talks and acts like this. Hard pressed.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And while he may be a little, you know, maybe his. He's got old world themes. He was. This is the 80s, right. He's 40 years old in the early, early 80s, so he's got his family crest on his pocket, for God's sake.

[C]

There's some kind of crap.

[F]

Thanks for coming on the show. And we're gonna come right back with another couple. Thank you.

[A]

All right. There you go. Well, I feel really happy for John, really excited.

[C]

I hope they worked out and had babies and their, their family crest can be pass.

[A]

You know what? This is a couple that I probably would never find online because I don't think that John is the type of person who probably kept up with technology. But I do have to say, what a lovely couple. What a lovely, just like wholesome episode of the commercial break. How could we make it any nicer for you as we lead up into Christmas?

[C]

That's a feel good story.

[A]

We didn't go for anybody. You know, we've done so many Love connections and so many of the guys are just jerk offs to the that. Remember that one guy who was the guy who was like a bouncer at the door, Remember that? And he was touching the ladies and he was like, I date all night long or whatever. He said, I can keep going all night long. So many of these guys were headed straight to Jerry Springer. But John was a nice, classic, wholesome young man. And that lady. Yeah, or jail. And that lady was so lovely. Nothing like parental control. Nothing at all. All right, well, listen, how much more damage can we do today?

[C]

Nothing.

[A]

Quit while we're ahead. I do love a good love connection. I really do. It was part of my childhood. I remember my parents watching this show a lot because it was on during daytime tv. So you would get, like, if you stayed home sick or you're on vacation, you would get prices, right? You would get Love Connection. You would get Judge Wapner.

[C]

Oh, the Wapner.

[A]

Yeah. And the. In the 90s, you would get Oprah. It's something you would get. What time Oprah? Come on.

[F]

Four o'.

[A]

Clock. Oprah's on, right? That's right. Four o'. Clock. You had to miss it. Can't miss television. Oprah. Oprah Winfrey. But Love Connection was one of mine. Love Connection was the one that I really loved. All right. TCBpodcast.com that's where you go. You find out more information about the show. All the audio, all the video right there at one location. And now every single episode of the commercial break moving forward will be available on YouTube. YouTube. The same day that it's available here on the audio feed Spotify just a couple of days afterwards. So please do us a favor. Go to the YouTube channel. Subscribe, like, comment on your favorite video. Share if you dare. Share if you care. Or you can go to Spotify and watch those videos. Like I said, just a couple of days after they drop here on the audio feed. Also, do us a favor. 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Would you be so kind as to text us comments, questions, concerns, content, ideas? We take them all right there at that phone number. You can leave us a text message, you can leave us a voicemail. We don't care how you do it, just do it, please. At the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok, and again YouTube.com the commercial break. Also, because we know you're in the giving spirit, we certainly would appreciate it if you could spend a few bucks. If you want to give Chrissy and I something really special this holiday, you can do two things. You can keep listening to the 12 days of TCB and beyond. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform. But then secondly, you can donate a few bucks to one of the causes we've been talking about. St. Jude's foundation, the National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, and the aspca. All of these organizations doing wonderful work. Spend a few dollars, make yourself feel good. It's tax deductible. Go straight to their website by clicking the link on the show notes. Thank you in advance. All right, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for now.

[C]

I think so.

[A]

But I will tell you that I do love you and I love you. Best to you. Best you out there in the podcast universe. Happy holidays. Un until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say goodbye.

[E]

Shopping is hard, right? But I found a better way. Stitch Fix online personal styling makes it easy. I just give my stylist my size, style and budget preferences. I order boxes when I want and how I want. No subscription required. And he sends just for me, pieces plus outfit recommendations and styling tips. I keep woodworks and send back the rest. It's so easy. Make style easy. Get started today@stitch fix.com Spotify that's stitchfix.com Spotify.

[A]

If you got a softy in your brain, you're gonna have a softy in your hands. You know what I'm saying? Hi, it's Sam Reinhart from the Florida Panthers. Watch as we take on the New York Rangers in the 2026 Discover NHL Winter Classic in Miami. The NHL Winter Classic is coming to the Sunshine State. Ring in the new year with me in Miami. Catch all the action on January 2nd at 8:00pm Eastern on TNT and HBO Max. That's January 2nd at 8:00pm on TNT and HBO Max. For tickets and more info, visit NHL.com WinterClassic did you know?

[E]

Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10? Upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop. Voted PCMag's Reader's Choice top laptop brand for 2025. Thin and ultra lightweight, the LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere, and Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit lgusa.com iheart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11. PCMag Reader's Choice used with permission. All rights reserved.