TCB Classic: Brad Van BusStation

Summary

The Commercial Break

Episode Summary: "TCB Classic: Brad Van BusStation" (March 7, 2025)

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Main Theme & Overview

In this TCB “Classic” episode, hosts Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley revisit a favorite past segment centered around an especially bizarre '80s episode of the TV dating show Love Connection, featuring a contestant they dub "Brad Van BusStation." Brad, an eccentric dancewear salesman and self-proclaimed wild man, takes his date on a wild mishmash of adventures—including ice cream sandwiches at a bus station—resulting in a date recap so mismatched between the two participants, it defies logic and inspired a classic TCB breakdown. The hosts riff on Brad’s antics, the show's outdated structures, and the general chaos of both ’80s TV dating culture and their own friendship, all delivered with their trademark irreverence and tangent-heavy, inside-joke-laden banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Oldest Dog/Parrot Tangents & Opening Chatter (02:30–16:00)

• Bryan laments reading about the world's oldest dog (31 years!).
• He recounts his own pet history, “Please, please, please, please… don’t let Blue live to 31 years old. 23, I’m good with 23. 31 years old.” (02:20)
• Neighborhood Stories: Bryan dives into memories of living next door to a “den of iniquity,” his Mormons neighbors, and wild parties.
• Parrot Saga: (06:00–13:30) Extended, hilarious digression about neighbors’ pet parrot, taking care of birds that outlive their owners, and a “murder parrot” in Florida that ends up bonding with Bryan. “Maybe I should have taken the parrot. I just can’t commit to anything…” (13:06)
• Krissy: “I would love it.” (on interviewing Love Connection’s Vicki) (46:32)

Notable Quote

“Feel free to go down the rabbit hole. We’ll throw you a ladder.”
—Bryan (14:45)

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2. Setting Up the Love Connection Breakdown (16:10–19:28)

• TCB’s obsession with TV dating shows, especially Love Connection.
• “Love Connection was the OG Tinder. It’s the very first Tinder.” —Bryan (16:58)
• Cue the episode they’re about to watch: 1983’s Brad Grunberg episode.

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3. Introducing Brad Grunberg, ‘Dancewear Sales’ & Over-the-Top Persona (19:28–28:00)

• Love Connection episode features Brad, a large, animated, self-deprecating, and self-sabotaging character.
• His grandma sets him up from the hairdresser armed with a “pen and pencil set.” (23:09)
• Brad explains his dating strategy: act ugly, act humble—“Hi, I’m ugly but I’m a nice guy… No, I’m really ugly…” (26:35)
• Bryan & Krissy react to Brad’s outlandish tactics—“This guy is a handful,” “Looking for a 10 and he’s a 4.”

Notable Quotes

“I’m a wild animal guy, you know…”
—Brad (24:49)

“There’s two types of guys. There’s A and B. You’re an A, I’m a B. So I’m a B, so I’m a virgin…”
—Brad (25:53)

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4. Selecting a Date & Pre-Date Reactions (28:00–33:13)

• Three women (Donna, Vicki, Gail) are introduced, each with quirks and old-school job titles. Krissy: “Gail looks like she’s part of the Duggar family.” (30:06)
• Brad chooses Vicki, the sporty education student.
• Bryan and Krissy riff on the bizarre 1980s “word processor” as an occupation.

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5. Post-Date Chaos: Conflicting Stories, Bus Stations, and Out-of-Control Antics (33:13–48:30)

“The Date” (Main Segment)

• Brad recounts the evening with over-the-top flair.
• Vicki’s initial reaction: “He wasn’t gorgeous, but he wasn’t…” (38:20)
• Both start “roasting” each other’s appearance on live TV.
• Vicki lists Brad’s three weird date catchphrases:
  1. Calls her “babe" all night (she hates this)
  2. Kept saying “the night’s still in diapers” (meaning: it’s still young)
  3. “It’s out of control!” over and over (40:10)
• The infamous date stops for ice cream sandwiches at the bus station vending machine:

  “He was very familiar with it.”
  —Krissy (41:41)

• Brad claims they crashed a wedding at a temple; Vicki flatly denies this (“That never happened… must have been another girl.” 44:00)
• On-stage, the couple openly, awkwardly dispute the night’s events—even as the host tries to move them along.

Notable Quotes

“What did you do at the bus station?”
—Bryan (41:12)

“I rather stay a virgin for the rest of my life.”
—Brad (48:18)

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6. Bryan & Krissy’s Flabbergasted Recap & Conspiracy (48:30–End)

• The hosts incredulously dissect how two people on the same date misremember so many core facts: “That was the strangest Love Connection, maybe dating show… that we've ever seen where two people do not tell the same story.” —Bryan (49:20)
• They scheme to track down Vicki for an interview—“I would love it.” —Krissy (46:32)
• Parallels drawn to their own chaotic improvisational style, “There’s only one talker on this show, and that’s me. Want your own show, Brad, go find it.” (50:26)
• They plug TCB social channels and stickers with their usual playful self-deprecation.

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Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

• Bryan, on Brad’s 75/25 relationship math:

  “Now I’m the kind of guy that likes to bury people under my porch. You got to understand the kind of guy I am. It’s that you’re only 25% human right now. I’m going to work up.” (34:14)

• Vicki, on the three weird phrases Brad used:

  “First of all, he called me 'babe' all night... Second, the night's still in diapers... Third, 'it’s out of control—' all night.” (40:10)

• Brad, defending his date choices:

  “I rather stay a virgin for the rest of my life.” (48:18)

• Bryan, recapping the bus station moment:

  “He took her to ice cream sandwiches from the vending machine. Wow. I didn’t even know they sold ice cream sandwiches in vending machines.” (41:32)

• Krissy:

  “No, we didn't… We had music and drinks. There was no music. We went to a nice dinner. We had ice cream sandwiches at the bus station. Jack hole.” (49:38)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Pet/Parrot Tangents – 02:30–16:00
• Dating Shows & Love Connection Setup – 16:10–19:28
• Meet Brad/Audition Tape – 19:28–28:00
• Date Selection/Misadventures – 28:00–33:13
• Date Recap & Contradictions – 33:13–48:30
• TCB Investigation & Wrap-Up – 48:30–End

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Takeaways & Listener Value

• The Commercial Break thrives on dissecting pop culture oddities and embracing chaos with self-aware improv, making even an old TV dating disaster feel like a fresh comic goldmine in their hands.
• The “Brad Van BusStation” saga is both a real-life cringe comedy and a metaphor for the unpredictable, rabbit-hole nature of friendship and podcasting that Bryan and Krissy champion.
• Moments where fact is stranger than fiction, like dueling date recaps and bus station vending machine dinners, highlight how much unintentional comedy lurks in retro reality shows.
• The hosts' relentless pursuit of closure—wanting to interview the real Vicki—keeps the spirit of curiosity (and mischief) alive for future episodes.

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Overall:
A hilarious, meandering deep-dive into one of TV dating’s cringiest clashes, seasoned with TCB’s signature blend of derailed storytelling, playful bickering, and relentless pop culture riffing. The episode stands as a classic showcase of why Bryan and Krissy’s self-described “cheesecake factory of comedy” podcast is as unpredictable as it is bingeable.

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Transcript

[Brian Green]

Well, I start the day with a.

Good hot breakfast porridge, eggs and bacon.

And a drop of whiskey and tea. You can defy the virus then.

Ah, very good. What about you, madam? I believe in a good breakfast, but I also believe if you have got the flu, rinse your inside out continually with boiled water. About four or five half pint glasses a day. Boiled water. On this episode of the Commercial Break, you know, as one of the top comedy podcasts in the bot half of the comedy charts, it causes the entire podcast universe a lot of aged when we don't push out fresh episodes. So you can understand the precarious position that I'm in having received my annual visit from Atlanta's fifth fake spring. Just like taxes, dental cleaning and that twice a year you have sex with your spouse. I have received my annual visit from Uncle Flu and his ex wife sinus infection. So unfortunately for all those who are paying attention, the commercial break does not have a new episode to fluff your feathers and tickle your tallywacker today. But fear not, my little minions. We're gonna do what every other prestigious podcast would do in a situation just like this. Rehash the intro and outro, throw one of the mediocre past episodes in the middle and give it a catchy name like TCB Classic. And what's on the menu for today's TCB Classic, you may ask? We're gonna re listen to our good friend Brad Van Bustation. Ah, yes, Brad, the venerable Love Connection contestant who touched our hearts and made us nauseous by bringing his date to the local Greyhound station. Because urine stained metal benches and the smell of body odor and vending machine junk food for dinner has never, ever, ever turned a woman off. Not in my experience anyway, and certainly not in Brad's experience. We fell instantly in love with this episode of the Love Connection. And I hope over time you will find a way to forgive me and my swollen tonsils for rubbing your ears the wrong way not once but twice with this TCB Classic. All right, enough talking. I'm going to go down a bottle of nyquil and hallucinate my way through an episode of Teletubbies with my kids. We'll be back next week with a special guest, Kathleen Madigan, on Tuesday. And I promise you some piping hot episodes of the Commercial Break. Bye. The next episode of the Commercial break starts now. 2:30 in the morning. Oh yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and co host, the beautiful Kristen Joy Odley. Best to you Chrissy, and best Ebright and best to you out there in the podcast universe. I just read and I sure as hope this is not my fate, but I just read that the oldest dog in the world turned 31 years old. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please. I know oftentimes that, you know, we say nasty things about religion and in a pragmatic way, but please God, don't let blue live to 31 years old. 23. 23. I'm good with 23. 31 years old.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Wow, that's a long time.

[Brian Green]

That's like 150 years old in dog years. It's a lab.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Good old labs.

[Brian Green]

31 years old. Can you believe that?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

That's a long time. My cat lived until she was 22.

[Brian Green]

Not that long. Aren't cats can live in their 20s right longer?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Well, no, it's not normal, but yeah.

[Brian Green]

I just, you know, I, I like, I think I told this story one time. We're living downtown. I was living with my ex wife. We lived in this house and across the way was a duplex and the duplex was like set way off.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I remember that.

[Brian Green]

Do you remember that? Okay, there's a duplex. Yeah. Because we spent a lot of nights. Porch.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Shrinking and God knows what else. Ourselves to death. Dancing, dancing. God bless the neighbors and that. Remember I had that one super old neighbor next door and then I had that young couple who I believe were Mormon next to us on the other side. Perfect. And so they got married in their backyard and I had two dogs at the time. I had Bots and Winnie. And so they were really well behaved dogs.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

They were, they were sweet.

[Brian Green]

They were very sweet. They didn't bark a lot. I mean you heard a bark out of bot spots once a day maybe and it was because someone was knocking on the front door. But anyway, in, we had a fenced in backyard, we had the Mormons living next to us and they got married. We saw them setting up on a Friday and for a Saturday wedding. And so they were never particularly like talkative with us. And I can understand why is because we were like a den of iniquities over there. Just cocaine, beer and getting debauchery going on 24 hours a day. But we were over, I was in the backyard and I was over near the fence with the dogs and I hear this on the, on the fence. Hello. Hey, what's going on man? What you setting up for over there? We're actually getting married. Oh, wow. Congratulations. You're getting married in your backyard? Yeah. Yeah. We're just gonna have some friends and some family over, and we're getting married, and it's happening tomorrow. Could you do me a favor? Sure, no problem. What you need? Can you. Can we. Can you keep it down between, like, 12 and 3 in the afternoon? And I was like, keep it down? And he's like, yeah, you know, sometimes I know you guys to, you know, play loud music and party and stuff. And the dogs are back there sniffing around and jingling, jangling. Could you just kind of keep it down between 12 and 3 in the afternoon? And I was like, sure, no problem. Dude, guess what I did? I let the dogs in the backyard for the entire time. No, I'm kidding. I didn't. Anyway. Had this big, long driveway going to this duplex right across the street from us. And they had a parrot. Not. Oh, not a cockatoo. Not one of those little small birds that dies in three months. A parrot. An actual parrot. I forget what you call them. They're like cockatoos. Is that what it is? Is it a cockatoo? Is that.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I mean, I think a parrot's a parrot, and a cockatoo is a cockatoo.

[Brian Green]

I know, but. But there's, like, the. One of them is a pet, and one of them is not. Is a cockatoo. The one on the Fruit Loops box. And then you can. That's a touchdown to can Sam. That's right. Okay. Whatever kind of bird these people had, I don't know. I'm not a bird expert now.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I grew up. Well, when I was younger, there was a friend of mine that. His family had birds.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Like, three of them.

[Brian Green]

Parrots.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

So I would go in there. Yeah. And they would say things and bite.

[Brian Green]

Your finger off, too, if you get in there. Right.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I didn't try and get into the cages.

[Brian Green]

So. So I. So they had this parrot and that parrot. You could be at the. You could be in the back of my house, in the very back of my house in a shower with the water running and the music playing and still hear that parrot from across the street. And they kept it outside. I can only imagine, because it was even too noisy for them to have inside of the house. They kept it outside most of the time. They kept it outside.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

What about with weather?

[Brian Green]

Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. I don't know. Well, they had a screened importance.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Oh, oh, okay.

[Brian Green]

So this went on for two years. Two years, until one day I get a knock at the door, and I go. And I I look, and it's this kind of scraggly guy. He's got his shirt off. He's very skinny. He's, like, got, you know, the jeans on with the belt, like, cinched way tight. Obviously. Obviously he's doing drugs. That's all I can say. Obviously, he's doing drugs. I can only imagine making Mountain Dew crystal meth in the backyard or whatever. I don't know. But he looks whacked out and he looks totally fucked up. And I have never, ever in my entire. I was there for, like, eight years. I had never seen the neighbors. I had only heard the parrot. So I opened the door. Hello. Hi, man. I'm Dale from Cross Street. And I'm like, oh, hey, Dale, and nice to meet you. I didn't extend my hand to shake it because I was afraid of where his hand had been. And I was like, hey, man, it's nice to meet you. Yeah, man. Listen, I gotta move out of the house in, like, three days. And I was wondering that you could take my pet bird just maybe for a month, and I'll come back and get it. And I'm like, no. I got dogs and people I care about and eardrums that I'd like to show you. Yeah. I was like. I go, hey, Dale, eardrums. I have eardrums. I'm not gonna take your parrot. So I go, hey, man, I appreciate that you need a place for the bird to stay, but I don't think my house is the right place. I got two dogs with the Mormons. Yeah, check with the Mormons. They're really. They love loud noises. I said, listen, I can understand, but, you know, you got. You also got to understand my situation. I got two dogs. I just got a divorce. I'm mainly drunk all the time. It's highly likely that parrot's gonna get into some kind of narcotics, that it's gonna kill it. You don't. You don't want me taking care of your parent. I can barely take care of myself. You don't want the parrot involved in the whole situation. And so he stood out there for a few minutes trying to convince me of the parrot. You see, the thing is, when I bought a parrot, I didn't know it was going to live 150 years. And now I gotta find somebody taking it.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

That's right. They live a long time.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Now, there's a bunch of people, like pet lovers, animal lovers, who are running out trying to find people who have these parrots and getting them to sign agreements that gives a Chain of custody for when and if they die. Because apparently a big problem is they take them to the vet or somebody dies, they take them to the local veterinarian or whatever, you know, they try and give them to the dog pound. Why the dog pound would take a parrot, I don't know. But then the. Then the birds end up getting euthanized because there's nothing else they can do with them. Right. And they're really hard to home because you really, you have to know what the fuck you're doing when you have a parrot.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I can imagine there's not a lot of demand at the local shelter for parrots.

[Brian Green]

No. Unless you're Dale from across the street. I swear to God, this guy. I mean, this guy was at work. He had his toast and everything. He had the whole tapes and all of it. Hey, man, I appreciate. Listen, if you know of anybody, you just come over, let me know. I'll give you my phone number if you want. No, no, no. I know where to find you for the next couple of days. I'll call your people, my people will call your people if we find a place to re home your parent. But keep it for a month. Keep it for a month? That's what he asked me. Keep it for a month. He had to keep it outside. Doesn't really matter. It's used to being outside. It's probably why it's squawking all the time. Because it's cold, hot, rainy, wet, hungry, needs water. So I know that these parrots. So then I was dating this girl one time. She lived down. Her dad lived down in Florida. We went out there one time, I think I told this story, ended up sleeping on like an air mattress in the office of this house. Because I was just trying to be respectful of the fact that most parents don't want you sleeping with their daughter in there. Don't want you going to pound town on their daughter in their house when you're not married. I just trying to. I'm just being a good, you know, gentle, good sport. Yeah, I'll fuck her when you're sleeping and I'll come slink back to the bed later, which I did. So. So he had like three parrots and he loved these birds, but the birds would attack anybody who tried to get near them, except for him. So everybody else in the house was just scared shitless of these birds that were literally in the house. And so everyone.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

They weren't in a cage or anything.

[Brian Green]

They were in a cage. They were. All three of them weren't A cage, like a series of cages. Like, the whole wall was dedicated to these birds. And so they warned me. First thing, I come in. Don't stick your fingers anywhere near that. You know, the birds, they don't like people. Blah, blah, blah.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Like, you're gonna go and stick your finger.

[Brian Green]

Hey, birdie, birdie. Hey, birdie, birdie. So. Oh, there goes your finger. Yeah. Because they will take off your finger. So over the course of a day or two, I started staring at this one parrot. Like, we started communicating, mind melding, right? And eventually the guy. I said, hey, you know, do you ever take these things out? And he's like, yeah, I do, but usually not when people are strange. People are around. Because I'm telling you, these birds, they just don't like other people. And I don't want unpredictable behavior when I'm. That I can't control. And he goes, but if you want me to, I'll take it out. I kind of put it on my shoulder, and you can. Whatever. So he puts on the shoulder and an eye patch. Yeah. What's that? He was. This was in Tampa, Florida.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I put on my iPad.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

My birds.

[Brian Green]

I'll put on my best matey. So he knows I'm a friend. A friend in need is a friend indeed. Parody. Come up over onto my shoulder and poke out my eyeball. So he takes out the bird. He puts it on. You know, he's on his. Like his. His forehand, right?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah, I've seen them do that.

[Brian Green]

And the bird hops toward me. Like, hops toward me. It was like, tries to get off his little thing and. And hops on, but the wings are clipped, right? So he can't fly. So he just kind of like. Like this. And I was like, oh, he's going to attack me. And he's like, wow, I've never seen him do that before, you know? And the bird is like, so put it. Put the bird back in the cage. We. I felt like that was maybe his sign that he didn't like me and I needed to stay away, go to sleep on the mattress in the office. The next day, it's got two of these, like, French doors that you can just kind of push open the pop. You know, little poppy French doors. So I'm sleeping, and all of a sudden I hear, like, this word, and I can hear on the. On the. On the floor, and I'm like, I'm kind of waking up out of sleep. I'm like, what is that? I turn my head and the parrot is right there. Is right there. Oh, my God. And I'm like, the parrot. The murder parrot. The murder parrot is right next to me. What am I going to do? But that bird didn't do a thing. It bounced close to me, and it started, like, nudging me with its nose. It was like, oh, my God. Like this. It liked me. It actually liked me. Yeah. And so I was like, wow, murder parrot likes me. And I swear to God, we. That was my first visit there, and we became the best of friends. Like, anytime I would go, the murderer, the murder parrot would sit on my shoulder, and it would, like, they would nudge my. My face. It'd be like this. Yeah. It loved me. So who knows? Maybe I should have taken the parrot. Maybe it was better than Dale. I just can't commit to anything. I could barely commit to, you know, a full day's work, let alone the murder ferret, you know, two birds of a feather. What do they say? Birds of a feather flock together. Isn't that the right way to say it?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

You and the parrot.

[Brian Green]

Speaking of birds of a feather that flock together. I don't even know how we got involved in this conversation. The world's oldest dog.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Oh, right.

[Brian Green]

Sometimes I have to think about where we were before. You know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

The circle.

[Brian Green]

This is like. I thought about a new tagline for the show that I actually might put up there. Feel free to go down the rabbit hole. We'll throw you a ladder.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

That's true. We'll help you back out.

[Brian Green]

We'll help you back out. That's right. All right. This seems like as good a place as any to take a break. Why don't you listen to Rachel, Give you some information about how to get in touch with us, and I'll do some extremely gross neti potting, and maybe I'll sound like half a human. In this next break.

[Rachel]

Rachel here. While Brian takes his old man bladder to the little boys room. Let's talk turkey. TCB needs your help. If you love the show, do us all a favor and share. Sharing is caring. And we know you care, don't you? Do you want to be on the show? Leave us a voicemail at 212-433-8322 and you could be the next TCB. Disembodied voice. Ooh, what'd you do today? I was a disembodied voice. You know, that sounds more dangerous than it actually is. Find us on Insta at the commercial break on the [e-mail] and all the episodes on video are available the same [e-mail] thecommercial break. I'm gonna go help Brian get back up the stairs while you listen to the sponsors. And then we'll all meet back here and get back to this episode of the commercial break. I'll take a raise now, bitches. Bye.

[Brian Green]

Speaking of two birds of a feather, the flock together fall in love. You know, Chrissy, we love our dating shows around here. We've reviewed so many of them at the. I can't even remember all the names, but one of the ones that sticks with us to the ones that stick with me are Blind Date, which we just reviewed a couple episodes ago. And what I really would love to do is I love to review another Love Connection episode. As we get into the thick of summer and, you know, we take off for our vacations and everyone's chilling out and relaxing, I thought we'd do something easy. I thought we'd not yell and scream about religion today, and we'd simply take it easy, settle down, and do a little love connection. Something we can all agree on is that Love Connection was the very first OG Dating game. It was the. It was the OG Tinder. It's the very first Tinder.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

True.

[Brian Green]

You take a look at pictures and a little bit of information about somebody, and then you make a decision about who you want to go out with. You meet up with them, you bang real quick, and then you ghost them. That's how it works. That's how it's always worked.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

You show a little knee.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they show a little knee. You show a little knee. Maybe you get. Maybe you get a knee job, and then you move on. You mind if I. I know you don't want to take the bird. You mind if I. Your knee. I. Your knee real quick. I don't know. I just like knees. I just. Ever since I've been on this vendor, I. I feel like knees are really sexy. I'll the back of it. That way you don't have any jizz.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

On your front, but you'll have the knee sweat.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I got the knee sweat. Let me put some ky back there and I'll. Nothing like a knee. Nothing like a knee. I wonder how many people have knee. You know what's happened? Probably, you know, there's some douchebag out there that was like, let me the back of your knee.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

People have strange fetishes.

[Brian Green]

People do have strange.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

We've also reviewed, too. Maybe you should look into that.

[Brian Green]

Listen, I know that at. Rachel and I have Talked about this multiple times. When you get that smell, when somebody has that smell.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Oh, yeah, the smell.

[Brian Green]

You. You literally want to chop them up and eat them. You literally. It's like a baby. It's like a baby or a puppy breath. It's like you want to eat their face. And maybe, maybe even though I would never had to, but maybe I would have fucked the knee had someone said, you can only fuck my knee, I would have been like, I'll fuck your knee. That's not a problem. I can fuck your knee. Or can I just hump the bed right next to you? Maybe we can whack off together the second you walk in the door. By the way, someone who knows that girl reached out to me after I told that story on air. Yes, they did. And so I'm really sorry I told that story on air, but she did ask me to whack off right in front of her the second I walked in the door. It's not. It's not. Not true. What did we say? I've got days and days of content. What do you want me to do? I gotta fill it up. I'm now contractually committed to thousand episodes or whatever the fuck it is. I got it. And it's the only thing I know is my own life. So I didn't say any names. No one's gonna know. Except for that one person who did know. You know what I'm saying? Okay, just checking. All right, so without further ado, I was trolling on the Internet as you do, as I do do, and I found an old episode of Love Connection, and I mean an old episode of the Love Connection. This is from 1983.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

What the fuck, Chuck?

[Brian Green]

What the fuck, Chuck?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I say that to myself sometimes.

[Brian Green]

I know I do, too, all the time. Sometimes I'm driving and I'm like, what the fuck, Chuck? Yeah. And then, of course, my son goes, what the fuck, Chuck? Good job. Just don't say that to anybody out loud. Keep that in your inside voice.

Get a compliment anytime he wants to. And he says that his grandma is always trying to fix him up. Please welcome.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

This guy's in dancewear sales. I haven't seen that.

[Brian Green]

Dance wear sales.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I have not seen that occupation.

[Brian Green]

That is the best occupation I have ever seen. And I'd like to know if in on LinkedIn that gives. It's one of the options for sales. You know, they give you the options. Dance dancewear sales, you know, they. They don't have an option for podcasting on any of the forms like government Forms you have to fill out where it says, you know, what category of business do you have? And when you try and put podcaster, it's not. It's not even respected enough to have it. I bet dancewear sales is there and podcasting is not. Thousand bucks. Tripped when he walked out. Poor guy. Hey, he's. This is 1983 and he is rocking gym shoes with a full suit.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah, he's going with the Nikes.

[Brian Green]

He's going with the Nikes. This guy is ahead of his time. Now this is not the fashion model you would hope from home. Yeah, he's in dance wear sales. I wonder if it's dance wear sales, like my daughter goes to dance class and she wears a tutu and I'm selling it to you. Or dancewear sales like high heels, fishnet stockings and garter belts. I wonder what kind of dance where he's into.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

He might tell us.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I hope so. That is the worst outfit I've ever seen on a human being.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Pretty bad.

[Brian Green]

Are those literally corduroy pants?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

They're pinstriped.

[Brian Green]

Pinstripe corduroy pants, Nike run shoes, jacket, yellow polo shirt and a haircut that I can only describe as a cereal box.

Grandma trying to fix you up.

[Brad Grunberg]

Well, I just want to thank you for that fresh fruit basket in my dressing room. My grandma, it's a common practice.

[Brian Green]

She goes, yeah, you got him, Jim. Hey, Julie, come look at Todd. Todd made him funny on the show. Just like I told him.

[Brad Grunberg]

Address her every Saturday. And she takes her pen and pencil, she said, and she talks to all the other grandmas about their granddaughters for me.

[Brian Green]

Does it usually work out well?

[Brad Grunberg]

Nanny brings back all the numbers and I pick the names I want. I call them up Chuck, but they remind me of.

[Brian Green]

This guy is a handful.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah, what's his name again?

[Brian Green]

I don't know.

Let's go back. Yeah, he seems like a Vinnie, but I don't think he's a Vinnie. Let's go back and let's see, he's Brad. Brad Grunberg. Grunberg, you know Grunberg, you know Grumberg. Hey, you see Grumberg, you see Grubberg, you tell him get the fuck over here. That guy owes me a knee fuck. Tell Grunberg I'm still waiting for that knee fuck. I'll get him. Fucking asshole. Fucking Brad. What kind of name is Brad? Brad Grunberg.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

He does have the BG initials.

[Brian Green]

He does. Anybody with the initials BG is doomed to a life of misery and poverty.

[Brad Grunberg]

Well, I just Want to thank you for that fresh fruit basket in my dressing room. My grandma, it's a common practice. She goes to the hairdresser every Saturday and she takes her pen and pencil set and she talks to all the.

[Brian Green]

Other grandmas about their grand pen and pencil set.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Well, it's the 80s.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's true. You don't have your BlackBerry or your iPhone?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Nothing.

[Brian Green]

Nothing.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Pencil set.

[Brian Green]

Hey, can I get your phone number? Sure. Write it down with my pen and pencil set.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

It went in her pocketbook.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Do me a favor. Pick a pen or a pencil. Any pen or pencil. Write it down on a piece of paper. I got you. I'll put it in my. I'll put it in my Rolodex.

[Brad Grunberg]

This for me?

[Brian Green]

Does it usually work out?

[Brad Grunberg]

Well, nanny brings back all the numbers and I pick the names I want. I call them up, Chuck, but they remind me of last month's cattle for some reason.

[Brian Green]

Last. This guy. Yeah, this is the kind of guy who tells jokes in front of the mirror to make sure he gets it right.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Which is also. There's another BG in the studio that does that. Also.

[Brad Grunberg]

Cattle, Chuck. They're big girls. Not my style, baby.

[Brian Green]

Well, you're not exactly a slight little guy.

Chuck. Oh, Chuck, if you would have just stayed this Chuck. If you hadn't grown up and all old and fussy. Wow, you're not exactly.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I was g say the same thing. It's not like this guy's fit and trim.

[Brian Green]

No, he's looking for a 10 and he's a 4.

How else do you meet women?

[Brad Grunberg]

Well, I do it many ways, but the Friday night at the temple seems to be pretty good. Yeah, there's a dance there and I probably. I usually go up there and we have a good time dancing. But the girl's a little too conservative for a guy like me, you know.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Mr. We're over two people's ethnicity.

[Brian Green]

Well, I thought he was Italian too.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

But now he's Jewish.

[Brian Green]

No, he's Jewish.

[Brad Grunberg]

Biggest wild type. I'm a wild animal guy, you know, and that's my style, so that's pretty good. But, you know, I like to do.

[Brian Green]

Cocaine off the back of girl's knees. You gotta have nice smooth knees, if you know what I'm talking about, Chuck. I like to bang a couple of rails and I take a couple shots of Remy Martin. I get crazy at the Friday night dance. Don't you worry, Chuck. These girls are in safe hands with me. I'm a wild guy. I was once. True story. I Was supposed to play Bluto in Animal House, but I was 12, so I didn't get to buy.

[Brad Grunberg]

They want me. They want to take me home. But no.

[Brian Green]

Well, tell me this surefire way of getting compliments.

It's a temple.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but, you know, continue. I went to a couple of those dances at the Catholic.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Do they want to take him home? Okay.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I went to a couple of those dances at the Catholic church. And let me tell you something.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Take them home to bang.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, of course. Take them home to bang. Or meet mom and dad, break bread. You know, the whole thing.

At any time you want to. That's what you.

[Brad Grunberg]

I'm a B type guy and I'm also a virgin.

[Brian Green]

A B.

[Brad Grunberg]

What's a B type?

[Brian Green]

I'm also a virgin. I'm a B type guy. Like, you mean you play on the B team? What are you talking about?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I think he means, like, not type A, but type B.

[Brian Green]

Well, I could have guessed that by a virgin. Yeah. Why did he throw in virgin?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

I don't know either. Not something you would do these days. But yeah, I see him as. Anybody who looks at his outfit can probably tell he's not an A type personality. When you're wearing green pinstripe pants and a gray shirt with a yellow polo.

We'll get to the virgin later.

[Brad Grunberg]

There's two types of guys. There's the A and B. You're an A, I'm a B. Okay, that's a compliment.

[Brian Green]

Take your word for it.

[Vicki Lamby]

Okay?

[Brad Grunberg]

And I'm a B, so I'm a virgin. So I decide that this is the way I'm gonna get girls. I'll show you Chuck.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Brad Grunberg]

Hi. I'm ugly, but I'm a nice guy. No, I'm really ugly. No, no, no, you're not, Brad.

[Brian Green]

You're.

[Brad Grunberg]

You're. You're a good looking guy. You're cute. You're. You're. You're fun to be with. No, I'm ugly. I'm ugly.

[Brian Green]

I'm horrible. So you do all of this stuff and then they come on and say n. Come on, Brad.

Wow. Sounds like a surefire way to get laid. Yikes.

[Brad Grunberg]

Hello?

[Brian Green]

Hey, it's Brad Grunberg from the. From the temple. How you doing? I'm good. You said Brad from the temple? Yeah, Brad from the temple. My grandma gave me your phone number. You know what I'm talking about. Hey, listen, what are you, 1 to 10? What. What would you give me? I don't even know you. I'm Ugly. I'm just telling you I'm ugly. Okay, thanks for the call. No, no, no, wait. Keep on going for a little while and then you eventually want to screw me. So I'm really ugly. I'm terribly ugly. Okay, thanks. Brad from the temple. I gotta go now. You're scaring me. No, no, wait. I just want to tell you about my small penis. Okay, Brad, I have no money. Thanks for calling. My shoes have a hole in it. Okay. I have zero experience in bed. Okay, Talk to you later.

You have anybody say yes? You're right, Brad, leave. Has that ever happened to you?

[Brad Grunberg]

Yeah, many times.

[Brian Green]

Many times. I'm not even gonna be honest here.

[Brad Grunberg]

Yeah, but no, it's a great. It's a great way. And I meet a lot of girls that way. And basically when I get to that point, I can do basically anything with him.

[Brian Green]

Anything?

[Brad Grunberg]

Anything. Most anything.

[Brian Green]

Except have sex, apparently.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Right?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Which is probably why you're still a virgin.

Yeah.

Let's take a look at the tapes of Brad S. And remember, you're going to vote again. Okay, here we go.

Why do I feel like Brad went on the Love Connection? Cuz it was the only way he could get closer to the TV cameras where he desperately wanted to be. I bet if we look up Brad Gunberg right now, he's been in 60 movies as like an extra.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Google Brad Gunberg on IMDb.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Grunberger.

[Brian Green]

Grunberger. Grungerger. I thought it was just Grunberg. It's Grunberger. Okay.

All right, there's Donna. She's originally from Queens, New York, enjoys photography and working with stained glass. Now she says that she often gets compliments on her eyes. Here is Donna's requirements for man, you.

[Brad Grunberg]

Don'T have a decent job and you know, in education and you know, just.

[Brian Green]

Just be wise with, you know, what he does. I want you to notice something about this. I want to share this with people who are listening at the. On the screen is a nice young lady who's giving her little Vicki, who's giving her a little soliloquy here. And then in the bottom, there's a picture in picture a box showing Brad and his reaction to the girl. He gets so animated that some TV producer inside of the studio decides to cut the box out because they don't like the way Brad's acting. They're like, he's. This guy's obnoxious. Cut him out.

[Brad Grunberg]

Watch, you know, an education and you know, just.

[Brian Green]

They cut him out wise with, you.

[Brad Grunberg]

Know, what he does with his money.

[Brian Green]

Spend it on me.

Vicki. Her hobbies include playing basketball, baseball, football. She also likes to swim, cook, work out, and go horseback riding.

Wow. Brad and this girl seem perfect fit for each other. Brad's. Brad only wears tennis shoes with a suit, I think.

So she says her.

We'Ll be in.

[Vicki Lamby]

A movie, and I'll pop a piece of gum in my mouth just because, you know, I'm hungry or, you know, just because I don't want to ask for popcorn or something, and I'll find myself, you know, and I just feel so stupid. And then I realize I go, oh, my God. A nice impression that you're making.

[Brian Green]

Finally, you watch Gail as she was raised in Kansas, and she says that.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Gail looks like she's part of the Duggar family.

[Brian Green]

Gail is the. Is Gail Duggar. Is that a wig on top of her head? Is she wearing a wig? I don't think her hair is two totally different colors. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah, that. She definitely looks like a Duggar.

She spends most of her time taking care of her horse. Now when she wants to impress a man, she'll bake him cookies. She hasn't had much luck with her dates recently. And here's one example.

[Vicki Lamby]

You start getting really hostile, and he's all, you come here and you do.

[Brian Green]

This, and, you know.

[Vicki Lamby]

And I'm all, no, I don't. I do what I want to do, you know, just. Just go with the flow. And sad to say, I punched him.

[Brian Green]

What? This is bizarre.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

But they probably. They probably had a limited selection of who they thought that they could match Brad up with.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they probably had, like. I would imagine the girls get some say in this is my thought is like, hey, you're gonna go out with Brad. They probably had 3,000 girls on video, and these are the three that just didn't ever responded. So they're like, I have to put them in there.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

They didn't get the message.

Wow. What an interesting combination. Let's take a look at all three of them again. First, there's Donna. She's 25. She's a stockbroker's assistant. Now Vicki's an education student. She's 23. That's education student. Finally, Gail. She's 24.

He's an education student. A student of education.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Of education.

[Brian Green]

That's interesting. That's like being a business person. I'm a person of business.

Gail's a word processor who has a sideline, a boxing process.

A word processor.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Before they did it with computers. Oh, yeah, I guess so.

[Brian Green]

I guess what did that entail? Processing words?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yes, I think so.

[Brian Green]

Can do me a favor? Process these words for me? I appreciate it. I think there's one of those in my head.

Okay, Brad, one of those ladies is his date. Who would you fix him up with now that you know Brad so well?

Two. Two. If you don't pick two, everyone's going to die.

All right, the audience has made his choice, and Brad's going to tell us who he picked. Who'd you pick?

[Brad Grunberg]

Well, I picked Victoria.

[Brian Green]

Vicky.

[Brad Grunberg]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Why is Brad so very animated?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

He really is.

[Brian Green]

I wonder what he's doing. Yeah, that fruit basket didn't get used. I imagine it's. He was just cutting rails before he came out of time.

So we're gonna.

Oh, let's fast forward through the Our show for today.

We'll be back tomorrow with Brad. I know, more singles. We're gonna try to make a love connection right here. And I'm Chuck Woolery. Hoping all your dates are good ones tonight. See you tomorrow.

[Brad Grunberg]

Bye.

[Brian Green]

Bye, everybody. Yeah, that's his tagline. Hoping all your dates are good tonight. How many dates am I going on tonight? All of them. All of them when I was single. Like, I hope all your dates are good this decade. Yesterday he told us which of these three women he chose as his date today. You'll hear what happened on that date.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Okay. He stepped up his gay.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Somebody in the production office got. Got a hold of him and said, hey, dude, you can't wear Nike's pinstripe pants, yellow shirt, and a gray blazer. It's just not a great combination. So today, let's put you in black shoes, black pants, gray shoe socks.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Those look like old Birkenstocks.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they kind of do. Yeah. Old Birkenstocks are those shoes you get when you work at a restaurant. And you know you're gonna need three pairs a year, so you spend $10 on them at Walmart. Been there, done that.

Raw bread. Doesn't a woman deserve to. To start out in a 5050 relationship?

[Brad Grunberg]

Not in my ballpark. It starts out 75. 25. And if they.

[Brian Green]

75 your favorite. 25.

[Brad Grunberg]

Her, of course. Always in my favor. And they have to earn the other 25.

[Brian Green]

How do they do that?

[Brad Grunberg]

Well, they have to earn points by understanding the kind of guy I am. And I give them a few brownie points and a few percentage points, but if they don't, I get rid of them.

[Brian Green]

Now I'm the kind of guy that likes to bury people under my porch. You got to understand the kind of guy I am. It's that you're only 25% human right now. I'm going to work up.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I know nothing like starting with 75. 25 in my favor.

[Brian Green]

Hey, listen, only. Shut up.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I thought I'd work myself up to 50.

[Brian Green]

50. Listen, you're strictly a word processor until you get to 50. 50. Just process my words. What a douche cadoozle.

[Brad Grunberg]

If they understand that, they do a couple other things. Special on the side. I give them the 25, we got 50, 50, 50.

[Brian Green]

What is the special on the side? Tickling your balls. Tickling your taint. What is going on?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Knee stuff.

[Brian Green]

This guy is way too animated. I'd love to see where he is today. He must have a tick tock channel. He can't help himself.

I don't know, Brad.

Let's bring it.

Let's bring it.

I don't know, Brad. You're an exactly.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

He wants to say that.

[Brian Green]

Listen, listen. It's simple math. Here's how you do it. Women have uteruses, men have penises. Uteruses are inside, penises are outside. If you just do the measurements, it's pure, it's just. It's mathematical. You equal 75 less than I do.

That's how it works today on what happened yesterday. Now, we showed the audience Brad's three choices and they voted on which one they thought would be best for him. Going to take a look at all three of them again today and catch you up. First, there's Donna. She enjoys photography and working with stained glass.

Ah, Donna.

That was Donna. Vicky. Her hobbies include playing baseball, basketball and football.

She likes this guy. Swear to God, we're doing a welfare check. Yeah, welfare check on Vicky. Yeah.

And Gail, when she wants to impress a man, she'll bake him cookies.

Why do I wish it was Gail?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I think I do too.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Honestly, listening back to this, it's hard to believe that Brad is an actual human being. He's like a bad. A creature from the lagoon. But no, Brad is an actual human being who went on to act in multiple straight to video movies. But he did act in movies. It was his brother that ended up being quite the character actor in Hollywood. And so you gotta feel a little bit bad for Brad. No, no, no, never mind. Forget I ever said that. All right, let's listen to Rachel tell you what you can do to help us out. And then we'll finish up this episode. I'll be back at the end.

[Rachel]

Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief, follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-433-3333, TCB. That's 212-433-822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercial break and finally share the shout out. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

[Brian Green]

Now, the audience vote was recorded yesterday, and we'll get to that a little bit later on. But right now, Brad's going to tell us who he chose. Vicki. He chose Vicki.

There she is.

Vicki, backstage. Let's say hello to Vicki Lamby.

Hi, Vicki.

[Vicki Lamby]

Hi, Pat.

[Brad Grunberg]

Hi, Vicki.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Hi, Brad.

[Brad Grunberg]

How are you?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Women had mullets back then.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, everybody had a mullet. A box top or a mullet. One of the two.

Just.

Oh, she said you look cute. Oh, she likes him. Maybe welfare check on Vicki.

[Brad Grunberg]

Yep.

[Brian Green]

Make yourself at home back there. Okay.

[Vicki Lamby]

All right.

[Brian Green]

All right, Brad, your moment.

[Brad Grunberg]

Well, it all started about 5:30pm that's how I start. Start him early, start them early. Get to her house, her mom answers her door. And we're talking about one sweet woman, a nice lady. We sat down and talked. We talked about what she cooked for her husband, where they're gonna go this weekend. Just a lovely lady and her husband.

[Brian Green]

Did you touch her tits? That's all we care about at home.

[Brad Grunberg]

I would have talked to him, too. After that, she came. Vicki came out. She was looking very nice.

[Brian Green]

What did you think of Brad when you saw him, Vicki?

[Vicki Lamby]

Well, he was dressed all right. He was dressed nicely. He wasn't gorgeous, but he wasn't.

[Brian Green]

Whoa. Brad's been rehearsing. I know. He's been rehearsing this story for. Since they went on the date, he's been trying to figure out how he spins it. So he gets a second date and she comes right out with a ball crusher. Well, he's not exactly attractive, you know, he's just.

He's beginning to hyperventilate.

I guess.

[Brad Grunberg]

Like I said, I am an ugly guy.

[Vicki Lamby]

But how you say that, Brad?

[Brad Grunberg]

Well, her body wasn't looking too good either.

[Brian Green]

Whoa, Brad, Brad. Brad. Booyah. Got her. Still 25%.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I'll show this lady. Who does she think she's dealing with? I'm grad. I'm Brad Van Brandenburger.

[Vicki Lamby]

Yours wasn't looking the best either. What I said on the. He told me over the phone that he was about 180. I don't think so, Brad. Maybe you're pushing 180.

[Brad Grunberg]

Okay, I was 189. And you're sure? 150.

[Brian Green]

Zinger I got. What does she think she's with? I'm Brad Van Bergenberger. I'm a virgin. I party at the temple, but I'm too crazy for even the temple. But I still go on Friday nights. I still take my grandma's advice.

What happened next, Brad?

[Brad Grunberg]

Well, as we got, gave her the roses. Now I'm an ugly, but I'm a nice guy. Gave her the roses.

[Brian Green]

Did things pick up here a little bit, Vicki?

[Vicki Lamby]

No, not really.

[Brian Green]

Go, Vicky, go. I was worried about you at first. Now I know you can handle your.

[Vicki Lamby]

Own three favorite phrases of the night. First of all, he called me babe all night, which I don't know, it's just I need to know someone a little longer before they call me babe, which I kind of found a little bit offensive.

[Brian Green]

And second of all, wow, look at Vicky. Ahead of her time.

[Vicki Lamby]

He kept doing was he said the night stealing diapers. I haven't heard that phrase for a long time. In fact, at first, I didn't even know what it meant. And I had to think about the night. Still in diapers, meaning the night's young.

[Brian Green]

And third, I think I got it.

Yeah.

[Vicki Lamby]

And third of all, all he kept saying was, it's out of control. We're gonna have an out of control time. The night's still in diapers day out of control time.

[Brian Green]

I'm taking you to Long John Silver's and then we're gonna go to my Dimple for somebody. Hey. Oh.

[Brad Grunberg]

I tried. You know, after we had Was it out of control for me? It was. It was for sure.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Because it was.

[Brian Green]

It was.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I can't wait to hear.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I can't wait to go home.

[Brad Grunberg]

The bus station.

[Brian Green]

Went to the.

[Brad Grunberg]

Yeah, Bus station downtown.

[Brian Green]

What did you do at the bus station?

[Vicki Lamby]

We went through the doors.

[Brian Green]

The bus station. The is this guy doing.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

That is a complete new one.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Never been to the bus station on the date.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Nope.

[Brian Green]

Yep. That's. I'm running away from the law. I stay out of the bus stations.

[Vicki Lamby]

Vending machine on the left hand side and had ice cream sandwiches. It was a lot of fun.

[Brian Green]

He told me what he took her to ice cream sandwiches from the vending machine. Wow. I didn't even know they sold ice cream sandwiches in vending machines.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

He was very familiar with it.

[Brian Green]

Sounds like he knew exactly where to find the ice cream sandwiches. Fine. You'll find me at the bus station with ice cream sandwiches.

What happened next?

[Brad Grunberg]

Next, we.

[Brian Green]

You're not gonna ask why you went to the bus station? Yeah, come on, Chuck.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

It was obviously for the ice cream sandwich.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, ice cream sandwiches. But can't you find ice cream sandwiches somewhere else? Yeah, just get it started the way. Hey, would you like a little appetif? A little appetizer, a little starter? What do you say we go down to the bus station?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

This place called the Bus Station. Oh, is that a new restaurant in town? I haven't heard that. No, it's the Bus.

[Brian Green]

No, no, but it's the best place to get ice cream sandwiches and heroin. So let me know the good stuff.

[Brad Grunberg]

The Temple on Wilshire Boulevard.

[Brian Green]

Temple on Wilshire Boulevard?

[Brad Grunberg]

Yeah, we went in and started dancing, drinking, and having a good time.

[Brian Green]

You took her to the temple, Brad? At first I was curious.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Is the bus station now the temple?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I was wondering why you were a virgin, but now it's clear you've never been outside your house with a.

Female in a temple.

[Brad Grunberg]

Yeah, it was a party. It was a wedding party.

[Brian Green]

But it was a wedding party. Whose wedding party is it? Brad? Brad. There's the party.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

We're gonna hit up this party, and then. Can you picture him pulling up the temple?

[Brian Green]

Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever, Mrs. And Mr. Schmidt. Hey, it's Brad. And Brad. He's back. Yeah. I told you not to invite Brad.

[Brad Grunberg]

A lady came up to me about a half hour later and says, do you know anybody here? I go, isn't this Ron Applebaum's bar mitzvah party? No, this is the wife's wedding. We crashed a wedding party.

[Brian Green]

Do you know anybody here? Do you know anybody here? Because you're a real. And we'd like you to leave. I just want to make sure I'm not offending the. The groom, even though he's the one who asked me to tell you to leave. Wow. This is the cheapest. Yeah, either he's cheap or so sheltered that the only place he goes is to Grandma's and the temple and the.

[Vicki Lamby]

Bus station with another girl, because that never happened. We never crashed a wedding. He must have been another day.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

No, I'm sorry.

[Brian Green]

Now he's lying. He's making it up. Who's with Wade? Why. Why would she lie? Is she just embarrassed about crashing a wedding?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I don't think that she's lying.

[Brian Green]

Or did they go to the temple? No one was there. And now Brad's making Up a story that there was going to be a wedding, but I got kicked out before it happen.

[Vicki Lamby]

You must have been with another girl or something, because we never went to a wedding.

[Brian Green]

Wait a minute. I mean, this is like. This is a huge discrepancy here.

I mean. Yeah, go, Chuck. Get after it.

This is a major thing. You're doing the. Really?

[Vicki Lamby]

Yes. I. I'm not lying.

[Brian Green]

You didn't go.

[Vicki Lamby]

No, we didn't. We passed by and he said it would. You know, he said it would have been nice if we went.

[Brad Grunberg]

Whatever you say, Vicky. We believe you. She's locked her teeth, Chuck. End of story. Next place.

[Brian Green]

Whoa, Fred. Wow. I think we found the world's biggest. And I really hope he has a Tik Tok channel now to give him a little bit. A little bit of credit. She could be lying. But you're also the guy who just said in the same sentence, I'm a virgin and women only count for 25%. Until they do. Then they give me a hand job.

[Vicki Lamby]

I mean.

[Brad Grunberg]

Okay, we're off to. I don't know why we're off to a couple, you know, some singing, relax, have a few cocktails, and we're sitting around. Good music. We left time to go to dinner.

[Brian Green]

Where?

[Brad Grunberg]

Hotel on Wilshire. Beverly Hillcrest.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Brad Grunberg]

My women, right?

[Vicki Lamby]

If my man intervene again. There was no music.

[Brad Grunberg]

Here we go again.

[Brian Green]

This is bizarre. Wow, this is really strange. I had no idea when I downloaded this video that this would get. Gets so strange. I'm literally fascinated by what happened. And I'd like to do a full investigative report here on the commercial break about this date.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

But the notebook. Hold on one second. No, I'm gonna write a note to Tina right now because we are gonna find what happened with Brad. Yeah, Tina need to do investigation on love Connection video. Love Connection date. Oh, my God. I almost never pick up my phone and write things during the middle of this show unless it's a note. Because I am really fascinated. And I would love to see if I could get a hold of this woman and see if she would tell the actual story about what happened with her and Brad. Wouldn't that be.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I would love it.

[Brian Green]

Be the best thing that ever happened to the commercial break. Which is not a high bar to set, but I'm just sharing.

[Brad Grunberg]

Doesn't want to follow the plan of the evening. Okay, whatever she said, listen, we'll listen.

[Vicki Lamby]

Like, that might have been his plan that there was gonna be music, but unfortunately they were not playing at the time that we were there.

[Brian Green]

How did this date.

Yeah. Chuck's like, I gotta get out of here. You gotta. Also, in 2023, this would have been the best thing to ever happen to this episode of the Love connection. But in 1983. 30 years, 40 years ago.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

40.

[Brian Green]

This was not the way that television conducted itself. It was very like they weren't gonna get into a bunch of controversy. They just wanted to move on in 15 minutes.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yep. Yep.

[Brad Grunberg]

Well, he went for a couple.

[Brian Green]

Wait, what happened? Hold on one second.

[Brad Grunberg]

On the cheek. And she kissed the air over here. I was kissing over here.

[Brian Green]

What the hell?

[Brad Grunberg]

I'm a nice guy. Gave me a peck on the cheek so I can tell my friends I got a kiss. But she went on. She got a kiss this and that. I'm a nice guy. Wanted a kiss. I spent 100 bucks.

[Brian Green]

Chuck is over this guy. He's like, get this guy off my stage. Yes, he is.

Is. I just have to go on with this all night.

[Brad Grunberg]

But I think we should bring her out so I can give a big hug.

[Brian Green]

Let's take a look and see the audience speak for you.

I think you should keep you two separated so no one gets hurt. Yeah.

[Brad Grunberg]

Please, please, please. With a pick.

[Brian Green]

Chicky.

[Brad Grunberg]

No.

[Brian Green]

47%. Oh.

Yeah. They should have picked the last one. That would have been fascinating. The girl who punched somebody. Yeah. She was close.

[Brad Grunberg]

No, no.

[Brian Green]

Is it safe to assume that you. I probably would like to go out with Vicki again. If we pay for it.

[Brad Grunberg]

Chuck. I rather. Chuck, I'd rather stay a virgin for the rest of my life.

[Brian Green]

Well, it looks like you're going to.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You're well on your way, buddy.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

We do have to investigate.

[Brian Green]

We are going to investigate. Yes, I will investigate this Brad Bumgaard or something. I'll figure it out. Brandenburger. Brandenburger.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I said Berger. But maybe it is Berg.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, I think it's Berg. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna figure it out. I will go down the rabbit hole. Like I have never gone down a rabbit hole before. I'm really good at searching on the Internet.

Sorry things didn't work out for you, Vicky. As far as the Love Connection.

[Brad Grunberg]

Good luck on finals. Thanks.

[Vicki Lamby]

Thank you, Jack.

[Brian Green]

Thanks a lot.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

He kind of looks like Ralph Macchio.

[Brian Green]

He does. Like a fat Roth Mao. Yeah.

Thanks for coming on the show.

[Brad Grunberg]

Thank you. Thanks a lot.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

Good luck to you.

Thank you.

We're gon gonna be back with another couple in just a minute.

Good luck to you and all your lying.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

That was weird.

[Brian Green]

Wow. That was the strangest. I. I have to say, hands down that was the strangest.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Definitely.

[Brian Green]

Love Connection, maybe dating show. Yeah. That we've ever seen. Where two people who went on the same date do not tell the same story. All right, we'll get to the bottom of it.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

No, we didn't.

[Brian Green]

No, we didn't. That. We had music and drinks. There was no music. We went to a nice dinner. We had ice cream sandwiches at the bus station. Jack hole. Oh, my God. Let's hope our boy Brad has lived as long as these parrots do and we can still find him. He's still out there. Because I desperately want to know what happened to this guy. We will found. We will follow up on Brad Brandenburger or Brandenburg, whatever his name is. I'll follow up on it. Brad and Vicki, I'm gonna investigate. There's got to be some more information about these two human beings. And if I can, I will get Vicki on the show because I don't want to hear Brad's side of the story. I couldn't handle him. He's just gonna take up all our air time trying to lock. You know, trying to just talk.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah, but I know. I want to know where he is.

[Brian Green]

There's only one talker on this show, and that's me. You want your own show, Brad, Go find it. All right. Right. Hey, tcbpodcast.com that's where you can get your free 21 EPM sticker ejaculations per month. It sounds like Brad needs to have a little release there. So you'll either get a 21 EPM sticker or our next sticker. It depends if we are. If we still have any more of these left. So go quick. Hit the contact us button. Give us your physical [e-mail] and we'll send you a sticker as soon as we can. Also, the entire catalog is up there, audio and video, except for the first few. Except for the first few episodes. Yeah. Well, I see the entire accessible. The entire public catalog is there. Someday we may release the first few, but probably not. It was bad, and you don't want to hear it. I'm wasting your time. All right, there you have it. One of my personal favorite episodes. It was one of my favorites to actually do sitting here in the room. I found this all to be very fun. And having been a big fan of breaking down Love Connection videos for the entirety of our time here on the commercial break, I think this ranks number two with wtf Chuck being number one, of course. Well, I really appreciate you giving me a break so I can Take a break. Even though I didn't take a break because I had to come here and do this episode of the commercial break. You get the picture? The wheel never stops turning. I am simply a hamster spinning my legs as fast as they will go. Nor rain, nor sleet, nor snow, and all that jazz. All right. At the expense of repeating ourselves a million different ways, do us a favor. Please do follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. I would love to hear from you via text message or voicemail at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Hit us up with your questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. We would love to hear all of that. And if you want to be on the next episode of the commercial break, or maybe not the next episode of the commercial break, but a episode of the commercial break, leave us a voicemail or send us a text message and tell us what you want to talk about. You can also drop us an [e-mail] hit the contact us button, drop us a line on why you'd like to jump on the show or get your free swag by hitting the drop down menu that says I want my free sticker. Give us your address and we will send you one. Plus the one and only place to see all of our episodes on video the same day they air here on the audio feed is YouTube.com thecommercial break. Subscribe, like comment on your favorite video. You've been to YouTube, you know what to do and let me move backwards one second. You can also get the audio in the video on the website. If you're that kind of person. If you're like, like URL ing it but URL ing It is so 2010. Just open the app on your phone and you know, dial us up. You know how to do it. Oh, and one more thing. Sharing is caring. The best way that you can help out the commercial break, your good friends Brian and Chrissy is to share the show. Tell a neighbor, phone a friend you hate your in laws, send them the commercial break, tell them that's what your husband has been listening to. It's fun for the whole family, I guarantee. All right, well, there's no Chrissy here today. But I'll tell you I love you, I'll say best to you. And then collectively we'll say best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, I will say, I do say and I must say I'm going the to bed. Bye, Sam.