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TCB Classic: Brad Van BusStation
01:02:55
Episode#709: Bryan is nursing a cold, like the big baby he is! So, we get a TCB Classic. On this TCB Classic Bryan & Krissy review a Love Connection episode staring Brad Van BusStation!
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- [00:00]
Brian Green
This episode is sponsored in part by Jumba Casino. Why wait for fun when Jumba Casino is just a click away? Play anytime, anywhere with hundreds of thrilling online social casino games like Bingo, slots and Solitaire. It's free to play with no purchase necessary and new games drop every week to keep the excitement fresh. Plus claim free daily login bonuses and a free welcome bonus just for joining. Start your next adventure@chumbacasino.com no purchase necessary. VGW Group void war prohibited by law 18/ Terms and Conditions do apply. This episode is sponsored in part by 5 Hour Energy I am not a fan of losing an hour of sleep. Daylight Savings day is confidently the worst day of the year for me. It only takes me three to four months to recover from that drag I feel. But what if we could regain that energy from the time we lost? Well, five Hour Energy has now made a one Hour Energy drink. It's a tiny pick me up to get us through the day. Tiny bottle, but big energy. Whether I'm staying up late, editing the show, or getting early to drive my children to school, it's hard to power through. But I've got a secret weapon. New one Hour Energy. It's something that really gets me through those humps and especially that afternoon slump. This is not the same as five Hour Energy. This one is designed for that extra targeted boost when I need it the most. It's quick and effective energy. It provides a feeling of alertness and it helps me fight that drag that I so often feel middle of the day. It's pretty convenient too. You can keep one in your gym bag, at your desk, in your car and it might only be here for a limited time. So check out the One Hour Energy shot and conquer your day. Visit Five Hour Energy.com to find a retailer near you and then try the limited one Hour Energy shot. One less hour in the day. Challenge accepted.
- [01:48]
Chuck Woolery
Will I start the day with a good hot breakfast? Porridge, eggs and bacon and a drop of whiskey and tea. You can defy the virus then.
- [01:56]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Ah, very good.
- [01:57]
Chuck Woolery
What about you madam?
- [01:58]
Vicki
I believe in a good breakfast, but I also believe if you have got.
- [02:00]
Kristen Joy Oatley
The flu, rinse your inside out with continually with boiled water.
- [02:05]
Chuck Woolery
About four or five half pint glasses a day.
- [02:08]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Boiled water on this episode of the.
- [02:14]
Brian Green
Commercial break you know as one of the top comedy podcasts in the bottom half of the comedy charts, it causes the entire podcast universe a lot of aged when we don't push out fresh episodes. So you can understand the precarious position that I'm in having received my annual visit from Atlanta's fifth fake Spring. Just like taxes, dental, cleaning, and that twice a year you have sex with your spouse, I have received my annual visit from uncle flu and his ex wife sinus infection. So unfortunately for all those who are paying attention, the commercial break does not have a new episode to fluff your feathers and tickle your tallywhacker today. But fear not, my little minions. We're gonna do what every other prestigious podcast would do in a situation just like this. Rehash the intro and outro, throw one of the mediocre past episodes in the middle and give it a catchy name like D DCB Classic. And what's on the menu for today's DCB Classic, you may ask? We're gonna re listen to our good friend Brad Van bus Station. Ah, yes, Brad, the venerable Love Connection contestant who touched our hearts and made us nauseous by bringing his date to the local Greyhound station. Because urine stained metal benches, the smell of body odor, and vending machine junk food for dinner has never, ever, ever turned a woman off. Not in my experience anyway, and certainly not in Brad's experience. We fell instantly in love with this episode of the Love Connection. Over time, you will find a way to forgive me and my swollen tonsils for rubbing your ears the wrong way not once, but twice with this TCB classic. All right, enough talking. I'm going to go down a bottle of nyquil and hallucinate my way through an episode of Teletubbies with my kids. We'll be back next week with a special guest, Kathleen Madigan, on Tuesday. And I promise you some piping hot episodes of the commercial break by.
- [04:01]
Kristen Joy Oatley
The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green.
- [04:12]
Brian Green
This is my dear friend and co.
- [04:14]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Host, the beautiful Kristen Joy Oatley. Best to you, Chrissy and bestie Bryant. And best you out there in the podcast universe. I just read, and I sure as shit hope this is not my fate, but I just read that the oldest dog in the world turned 31 years old. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please. I know oftentimes that, you know, we say nasty things about religion and in a pragmatic way, but please, God, don't let blue live to 31 years old. 23. 23. I'm good with 23. 31 years old.
- [04:48]
Vicki
Wow, that's a long time.
- [04:50]
Kristen Joy Oatley
That's like 150 years old in dog years. It's a Labrador. Oh, yeah. Good old labs, 31 years old. Can you believe that?
- [04:59]
Vicki
That's a long time. My cat lived until she was 22.
- [05:03]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Aren't cats can live in their 20s, right?
- [05:06]
Vicki
Well, no, it's not normal, but yeah.
- [05:08]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I just, you know, I, I like, I think I told this story one time. We're living downtown. I was living with my ex wife. We lived in this house and across the way was a duplex. And the duplex was like set way off.
- [05:21]
Vicki
I remember that.
- [05:22]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Do you remember that? Okay, there's a duplex. Yeah. Because we spent a lot of nights on that porch.
- [05:27]
Vicki
Yes.
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Kristen Joy Oatley
Shrinking and God knows what else. Ourselves to death.
- [05:31]
Vicki
Dancing.
- [05:32]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Dancing. God bless the neighbors and that. Remember I had that one super old neighbor next door and then I had that young couple who I believe were Mormon next to us on the other side.
- [05:43]
Vicki
Perfect.
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Kristen Joy Oatley
And so they got married in their backyard. And I had two dogs at the time. I had Bots and Winnie. And so they were really well behaved dogs.
- [05:54]
Vicki
They were, they were sweet.
- [05:55]
Kristen Joy Oatley
They were very sweet. They didn't bark a lot. I mean you heard a bark out of Bots once a day maybe and it was because someone was knocking on the front door. But anyway, in, we had a fenced in backyard, we had the Mormons living next to us and they got married. We saw them setting up on a Friday and for a Saturday wedding. And so they were never particularly like talkative with us. And I can understand why is because we were like a den of iniquities over there. Just cocaine, beer and getting debauchery going on 24 hours a day. But we were over. I was in the backyard and I was over near the fence with the dogs and I hear this on the, on the fence. Hello. Hey, what's going on, man? What you setting up for over there? We're actually getting married. Oh, wow. Congratulations. You're getting married in your backyard. Yeah, yeah, we're just gonna have some friends and some family over and we're getting married and it's happening tomorrow. Could you do me a favor? Sure, no problem. What you need? Can you, can we, can you keep it down between like 12 and 3 in the afternoon? And I was like, keep it down? And he's like, yeah, you know, sometimes I know you guys like to, you know, play loud music and party and stuff. And the dogs are back there sniffing around and jingling, jangling. Could you just kind of keep it down between 12 and 3 in the afternoon? And I was like, sure, no problem. Dude, guess what I did? I let the dogs in the Backyard for the entire time. No, I'm kidding. I didn't. Anyway. Had this big, long driveway going to this duplex right across the street from us. And they had a fucking parrot. Not. Oh, not a cockatoo. Not one of those little small birds that dies in three months. A parrot. An actual parrot. I forget what you call them. They're like cockatoos. Is that what it is? Is it a cockatoo? Is that.
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Vicki
I mean, I think a parrot's a parrot, and a cockatoo is a cockatoo.
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Kristen Joy Oatley
I know, but. But there's, like, the. One of them is a pet, and one of them is not. Is a cockatoo. The one on the Fruit Loops box. And then that's a toucan Sam. Toucan Sam, that's right. Okay. Whatever kind of bird these people had. I don't know. I'm not a bird expert now.
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Vicki
I grew up. Well, when I was younger, there was a friend of mine that. His family had birds.
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Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah.
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Vicki
Like three of them.
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Kristen Joy Oatley
Parrots.
- [08:06]
Vicki
So I would go in there. Yeah.
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Kristen Joy Oatley
They would talk. Yeah.
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Vicki
They would say things and bite your.
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Kristen Joy Oatley
Finger off, too, if you get in their way.
- [08:12]
Vicki
I didn't try and get into the cages.
- [08:14]
Kristen Joy Oatley
So. So I. So they had this parrot and that parrot. You could be at the. You could be in the back of my house, in the very back of my house in a shower with the water running and the music playing and still hear that parrot from across the street. And they kept it outside. I can only imagine, because it was even too noisy for them to have inside of the house. They kept it outside. Most of the time. They kept it outside.
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Vicki
What about with weather?
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Kristen Joy Oatley
Go yourself. Go yourself. I don't know. Well, they had a screen in port. Oh.
- [08:48]
Vicki
Oh, okay.
- [08:49]
Kristen Joy Oatley
So this went on for two years. Two years, until one day I get a knock at the door, and I go. And I look, and it's this kind of scraggly guy. He's got his shirt off. He's very skinny. He's, like, got, you know, the jeans on with the belt, like, cinched way tight. Obviously. Obviously he's doing drugs. That's all I can say. Obviously, he's doing drugs. I can only imagine making Mountain Dew crystal meth in the backyard or whatever. I don't know. But he looks whacked out and he looks totally up. And I have never, ever in my entire. I was there for, like, eight years. I had never seen the neighbors. I had only heard the parrot. So I opened the door. Hello. Hey, man. I'm Dale from Cross street. And I'm like, oh, hey, Dale, and nice to meet you. I didn't extend my hand to shake it because I was afraid of where his hand had been. And I was like, hey, man, it's nice to meet you. Yeah, man. Listen, I. I gotta move out of the house in, like, three days. And I was wondering if you could take my pet bird just maybe for a month, and I'll come back and get it. And I'm like, no, I got dogs and people I care about and eardrums. Yeah. I was like, I go, hey, Dale, eardrums. I have eardrums. I'm not gonna take your parrot. So I go, hey, man, I. I appreciate that you need a place for the bird to stay, but I don't think my house is the right place. I got two dogs.
- [10:17]
Vicki
Check with the Mormons.
- [10:19]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, check with the Mormons. They're really. They love loud noises. I said, listen, I can understand, but, you know, you got. You also gotta understand my situation. I got two dogs. I just got a divorce. I'm mainly drunk all the time. It's highly likely that parrot's gonna get into some kind of narcotics that's gonna kill it. You don't. You don't want me taking care of your parent. I can barely take care of myself. You don't want the parrot involved in the whole situation. And so he stood out there for a few minutes trying to convince me of the parrot. You see, the thing is, when I bought parrot, I didn't know it was gonna live 150 years. And now I gotta find somebody, take.
- [10:52]
Vicki
It a long time. They live a long time.
- [10:54]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah. Now there's a bunch of people, like pet lovers, animal lovers, who are running out trying to find people who have these parrots and getting them to sign agreements that gives a chain of custody for when and if they die. Because apparently a big problem is they take them to the vet or somebody dies, they take them to the local veterinarian or whatever, you know, they try and give them to the dog pound. Why the dog pound would take a parrot, I don't know. But then the. Then the birds end up getting euthanized because there's nothing else they can do with them. Right. And they're really hard to home because you really. You have to know what the fuck you're doing when you have a parent.
- [11:28]
Vicki
I can imagine there's not a lot of demand at the local shelter for parrots.
- [11:32]
Kristen Joy Oatley
No. Unless you're dial from across the street. I swear to God, this guy. I mean, this guy was at work, he had this tapes and everything. He had the whole tapes and all of it. Hey man, I appreciate. Listen, if you know of anybody, just come over, let me know. I gave you my phone number if you want. No, no, no, no. I know where to find you for the next couple of days, I'll. My people will call your people if we find a place to re home your fucking parent. But keep it for a month. Keep it for a month? That's what he asked me. Keep it for a month, Keep it outside. Doesn't really matter. It's used to being outside. It's probably why it's squawking all the time. Because it's fucking cold. Hot, rainy, wet, hungry, needs water. So I know that these parrots. So then I was dating this girl one time. She lived down. Her dad lived down in Florida. We went out there one time, I think it told this story. Ended up sleeping on like an air mattress in the office of. Because I was just trying to be respectful of the fact that most parents don't want you sleeping with their daughter in there. Don't want you, you know, going to pound town on their daughter in their house when you're not married. I just trying to. I'm just being a good, you know, gentleman sport. Good sport. Yeah. I'll her when you're sleeping and I'll come slink back to the bed later, which I did. So. So that he had like three parrots and he loved these birds, but the birds would attack anybody who tried to get near them except for him. So everybody else in the house was just scared shitless of these birds that were literally in the house. And so everyone.
- [13:06]
Vicki
They weren't in a cage or anything.
- [13:07]
Kristen Joy Oatley
They were in a cage. They were. All three of them were in a cage. Like a series of cages. Like the whole wall was dedicated to these birds. And so they warned me, first thing I come in. Don't stick your fingers anywhere near that. You know, the birds, they don't like people. Blah, blah, blah, blah.
- [13:20]
Vicki
Like you're gonna go and stick your finger.
- [13:22]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Hey, birdie, birdie. Hey, birdie, birdie. So. Oh, there goes your finger. Yeah, because they will take off your finger. So over the course of a day or two, I started staring at this one parrot. Like we started communicating, mind melding, right? And eventually the guy I said, hey, you know, do you ever take these things out? And he's like, yeah, I do, but usually not when people are strange. People are around. Because I'm telling you, these birds, they just don't like other people. And I don't want unpredictable behavior when I'm. That I can't control. And he goes, but if you want me to, I'll take it out. I kind of put it on my shoulder, and you can. Whatever. So he puts on the shoulder and an eye patch. Yeah. What's that? He was. This was in Tampa, Florida.
- [14:08]
Vicki
I put on my iPad.
- [14:09]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah.
- [14:10]
Vicki
My birds.
- [14:13]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I'll put on my best matey so he knows I'm a friend. A friend in need is a friend indeed. Parody. Come up over onto my shoulder and poke out my eyeball. So he takes out the bird. He puts it on. You know, he's on his. Like, his. His forehand, right?
- [14:32]
Vicki
Yeah, I've seen them do that.
- [14:33]
Kristen Joy Oatley
And the bird hops toward me, like, hops toward me. It was like, tries to get off his little thing and. And hop storm. But the wings are clipped, right? So he can't fly. So he just kind of like. Like this. And I was like, oh, he's going to attack me. And he's like, wow, I've never seen him do that before, you know? And the bird is like. So put. Put the bird back in the cage. We. I felt like that was maybe his sign that he didn't like me and I needed to stay away. Go to sleep on the mattress in the office. The next day, it's got two of these, like, French doors that you can just kind of push open the, you know, little poppy French doors. So I'm sleeping, and all of a sudden I hear, like, this word. And I can hear on the. On the. On the floor, and I'm like. I'm kind of waking up out of sleep. I'm like, what is that? I turn my head and the parrot is right there. Is right there.
- [15:25]
Vicki
Oh, my God.
- [15:26]
Kristen Joy Oatley
And I'm like, the parrot. The murder parrot. The murder parrot is right next to me. What am I going to do? But that bird didn't do a thing. It bounced close to me, and it started, like, nudging me with its nose.
- [15:40]
Vicki
It was like, oh, my God.
- [15:41]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Like this. It liked me. It actually liked me.
- [15:43]
Vicki
Yeah.
- [15:43]
Kristen Joy Oatley
And so I was like, wow, Murder parrot likes me. And I swear to God, we. That was my first visit there, and we became the best of friends. Like, anytime I would go, the murder.
- [15:52]
Vicki
You're in the parrot.
- [15:53]
Kristen Joy Oatley
The murder parrot would sit on my shoulder, and it would, like. It would nudge my. My face and be like this. Yeah, it loved me. So who knows? Maybe I should have taken the parrot. Maybe it was better Than Dale. I just can't commit to anything. I could barely commit to, you know, a full day's work, let alone the murder ferret, you know, two birds of a feather. What do they say? Birds of a feather flock together. Isn't that the right way to say it?
- [16:19]
Vicki
You and the parrot.
- [16:20]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Speaking of birds of a feather that flock together. I don't even know how we got involved in this conversation. The world's oldest dog.
- [16:26]
Vicki
Oh, right.
- [16:28]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Sometimes I have to think about where we were before. You know what I'm saying?
- [16:32]
Vicki
The circle.
- [16:33]
Kristen Joy Oatley
This is like I thought about a new tagline for the show that I actually might put up there. Feel free to go down the rabbit hole. We'll throw you a ladder.
- [16:41]
Vicki
That's true. We'll help you back out.
- [16:45]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, we'll help you back out. That's right.
- [16:47]
Brian Green
All right, this seems like as good a place as any to take a break. Why don't you listen to Rachel, give you some information about how to get in touch with us, and I'll do some extremely gross neti potting, and maybe I'll sound like half a human in this next break.
- [17:03]
Rachel
Rachel here while Brian takes his old man bladder to the little boys room. Let's talk turkey. TCB needs your help. If you love the show, do us all a favor and share. Sharing is caring, and we know you care, don't you? Do you want to be on the show? Leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3822 and you could be the next TCB. Disembodied voice. Ooh, what'd you do today? I was a disembodied voice. You know, that sounds more dangerous than it actually is. Find us on Insta at the commercial break on the web@tcbpodcast.com and all the episodes on video are available the same day@YouTube.com thecommercial break. I'm gonna go help Brian get back up the stairs while you listen to the sponsors. And then we'll all meet back here and get back to this episode of the commercial break. I'll take a raise now, bitches. Bye.
- [17:56]
Brian Green
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- [21:28]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Speaking of two birds of a feather to flock together, fall in love. You know, Chrissy, we love our dating shows around here. We've reviewed so many of them at the I can't even remember all the names, but one of the ones that sticks with us to the ones that stick with me are Blind Date, which we just reviewed a couple episodes ago. And what I really would love to do is I love to review another Love Connection episode. As we get into the I love Thick of Summer and, you know, we take off for our vacations and everyone's chilling out and relaxing, I thought we'd do something easy. I thought we'd not yell and scream about religion today and we'd simply take it easy, settle down, and do a little love connection. Something we can all agree on is that Love Connection was the very first OG Dating game. It was the. It was the OG Tinder. It's the very first Tinder.
- [22:16]
Vicki
True.
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Kristen Joy Oatley
You take a look at pictures and a little bit of information about somebody, and then you make a decision about who you want to go out with. You meet up with them, you bang real quick, and then you ghost them. That's how it works. That's how it's always worked.
- [22:27]
Vicki
You show a little knee.
- [22:28]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, you show a little knee. You show a little knee. Maybe you get. Maybe get a knee job and then you move on. You mind if I, I know you don't want to take the bird. You might not your knee. I your knee real quick. I don't know. I just like knees. I just ever since I've been on this vendor, I, I feel like knees are really sexy. I'll the back of it. That way you don't have any jizz.
- [22:53]
Vicki
On your front, but you'll have the knee sweat.
- [22:55]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, I got the knee sweat. Let me put some ky back there and I'll. Nothing like a knee, Nothing like a knee. I wonder how many people have knee. You know, it's happened.
- [23:11]
Vicki
Probably.
- [23:12]
Kristen Joy Oatley
You know, there's some douchebag out there that was like, let me the back of your knee.
- [23:17]
Vicki
People have strange fetishes.
- [23:18]
Kristen Joy Oatley
People do have strange fetishes.
- [23:19]
Vicki
We've also reviewed too. Maybe you should look into that.
- [23:22]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Listen, I know that Rachel and I have talked about this multiple times. When you get that smell, when somebody has that smell.
- [23:28]
Vicki
Oh, yeah, the smell.
- [23:29]
Kristen Joy Oatley
You. You literally want to chop them up and eat them. You literally. It's like a baby. It's like a baby or a puppy breath. It's like you want to eat their face. And maybe. Maybe even though I would never had to, but maybe I would have the knee. Had someone said, you can only my knee, I would have been like, I'll your knee. That's not a problem. I can your knee. Or can I just hump the bed right next to you? Maybe we can whack off together the second you walk in the door. By the way, someone who knows that girl reached out to me after I told that story on air. Yes, they did. And so I'm really sorry I told that story on air, but she did ask me to whack off right in front of her the second I walked in the door. It's not. It's not.
- [24:11]
Vicki
Not true. I got to fill content.
- [24:12]
Kristen Joy Oatley
What did we say? I've got days and days of content. What do you want me to do? I gotta fill it up. I'm now contractually committed to thousand episodes or whatever the fuck it is. I got it. And it's the only thing I know is my own life. So I didn't say any names. No one's gonna know. Except for that one person who did know. You know what I'm saying? Okay, just checking. All right, so without further ado, I was strolling on the Internet as you do, as I do do, and I found an old episode of Love Connection. And I mean an old episode of the Love Connection. This is from 1983.
- [24:46]
Vicki
What the Chuck?
- [24:47]
Kristen Joy Oatley
What the Chuck?
- [24:49]
Vicki
I say that to myself sometimes.
- [24:51]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I know. I do, too, all the time. Sometimes I'm driving and I'm like, what the Chuck? Yeah. And then, of course, my son goes, what the Chuck? Good job. Just don't say that to anybody out loud. Keep that in your inside voice.
- [25:08]
Chuck Woolery
Get a compliment anytime he wants to. And he says that his grandma is always trying to fix him up. Please welcome.
- [25:14]
Vicki
This guy's in dancewear sales. I haven't seen that.
- [25:16]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Dance wear sales.
- [25:18]
Vicki
I have not seen that occupation.
- [25:19]
Kristen Joy Oatley
That is the Best occupation I have ever seen. And I'd like to know if in on LinkedIn that gives. It's one of the options for sales. You know, they give you the options.
- [25:28]
Vicki
Dance.
- [25:28]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Dancewear sales, you know, they. They don't have an option for podcasting on any of the forms, like government forms you have to fill out where it says, you know, what category of business do you have? And when you try and put podcaster, it's not. It's not even respected enough to have it. I bet dancewear sales is there and podcasting is not. Thousand bucks. He tripped when he walked out. Poor guy. Hey, he's. This is 1983 and he is rocking gym shoes with a full suit.
- [26:05]
Vicki
Yeah, he's going to the Nikes.
- [26:07]
Kristen Joy Oatley
He's going with the Nikes. This guy is ahead of his time. Now, this is not the fashion model.
- [26:11]
Vicki
You would hope from home.
- [26:12]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, he's in dancewear sales. I wonder if it's dancewear sales, like my daughter goes to dance class and she wears a tutu and I'm selling it to you. Or dancewear sales like high heels, fishnet stockings, and garter belts. I wonder what kind of dancewear he's into.
- [26:28]
Vicki
He might tell us.
- [26:29]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, I hope so. That is the worst outfit I've ever seen on a human being.
- [26:33]
Vicki
It's pretty bad.
- [26:34]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Are those literally corduroy pants?
- [26:36]
Vicki
They're pinstriped.
- [26:38]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Pinstripe corduroy pants, Nike run shoes, gray jacket, yellow polo shirt, and a haircut that I can only describe as a cereal box.
- [26:50]
Chuck Woolery
Your grandma trying to fix you up?
- [26:52]
Brad Grunberg
Well, I just want to thank you for that fresh fruit basket in my dressing room. My grandma, it's a common practice.
- [26:59]
Kristen Joy Oatley
She goes, yeah, you got him, Jim. Hey, Julie, come look at Todd. Todd made him funny on the show. Just like I told him, address her every Saturday.
- [27:10]
Brad Grunberg
And she takes her pen and pencil, she said, and she talks to all the other grandmas about their granddaughters.
- [27:14]
Chuck Woolery
For me, does it usually work out?
- [27:18]
Brad Grunberg
Well, Nanny brings back all the numbers and I pick the names I want. I call them up Chuck, but they remind me of.
- [27:25]
Kristen Joy Oatley
This guy is a handful. Yeah.
- [27:27]
Vicki
What's his name again?
- [27:29]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I don't know. Let's go back. Yeah, he seems like a Vinny, but I don't think he's a vinny. See, let's go back and let's see, he's Brad. Brad Grunberg. Grunberg, you know Grunberg, you know Grumberg. Hey, you see Grunberg, you see Grubberg, you tell him, get the over here. That guy owes me a knee. Tell Grunberg I'm still waiting for that knee. I'll get him. Asshole. Brad. What kind of name is Brad? Brad Grunberg.
- [28:03]
Vicki
He does have the BG initials.
- [28:04]
Kristen Joy Oatley
He does? Anybody with the initials BG is doomed to a life of misery and poverty.
- [28:14]
Brad Grunberg
Well, I just want to thank you for that fresh fruit basket in my dressing room. My grandma, it's a common practice. She goes to the hairdresser every Saturday and she takes her pen and pencil, she said. And she talks to all the other.
- [28:27]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Grandmas about their grand pen and pencil set.
- [28:29]
Vicki
Well, it's the 80s.
- [28:31]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, that's true. You don't have your BlackBerry or your iPhone.
- [28:34]
Vicki
Nothing?
- [28:35]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Nothing. Can I get your phone number? Sure. Write it down. With my pen and pencil set.
- [28:43]
Vicki
It went in her pocketbook.
- [28:44]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah. Do me a favor. Pick a pen or a pencil, any pen or pencil. Write it down on a piece of paper. I got you. I'll put it in my. I'll put it in my Rolodex.
- [28:54]
Brad Grunberg
Nice for me.
- [28:57]
Chuck Woolery
Doesn't usually work out well.
- [28:58]
Brad Grunberg
Nanny brings back all the numbers and I pick the names I want. I call them up, Chuck, but they remind me of last month's cattle for some reason.
- [29:07]
Kristen Joy Oatley
This guy. Yeah, this is the kind of guy who tells jokes in front of the mirror to make sure he gets it right.
- [29:12]
Vicki
Yeah, yeah.
- [29:14]
Chuck Woolery
Months. What?
- [29:14]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Which is also. There's another BG in the studio that does that, also. Cattle.
- [29:19]
Brad Grunberg
Chuck, they're big girls. Not my style, baby.
- [29:22]
Chuck Woolery
Well, you're not exactly a slight little guy.
- [29:27]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Chuck. Oh, Chuck, if you would have just stayed this Chuck. If you hadn't grown up and all old and fussy. Wow, you're not exactly.
- [29:37]
Vicki
I was gonna say the same thing. It's not like this guy's fit and trim.
- [29:40]
Kristen Joy Oatley
No. He's looking for a 10 and he's a 4.
- [29:44]
Chuck Woolery
How else do you meet women?
- [29:46]
Brad Grunberg
Well, I do it many ways, but the Friday night at the temple seems to be pretty good. Yeah, there's a dance there and I probably. I usually go up there and we have a good time dancing. But the girl's a little too conservative for a guy like me, you know?
- [29:57]
Vicki
Mr. We're over two.
- [29:58]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yes.
- [29:59]
Vicki
People's ethnicity.
- [30:02]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Well, I thought he was Italian, too.
- [30:05]
Vicki
But now he's Jewish.
- [30:05]
Kristen Joy Oatley
No, he's Jewish.
- [30:07]
Brad Grunberg
Biggest wild type. I'm a wild animal guy, you know, and that's my style, so that's pretty good. But, you know, I like to do.
- [30:14]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Cocaine off the back of girl's knees. You gotta have nice smooth knees, if you know what I'm talking about, Chuck. I like to bang a couple of rails and I take a couple shots of Remy Martin. I get crazy at the Friday night dance. Don't you worry, Chuck. These girls are in safe hands with me. I'm a wild guy. I was once. True story. I was supposed to play Bluto in Animal House, but I was 12, so I didn't get the pot.
- [30:41]
Brad Grunberg
They want me. They want to take me home. But no.
- [30:43]
Chuck Woolery
Well, tell me this surefire way of getting compliments.
- [30:48]
Kristen Joy Oatley
It's a temple.
- [30:49]
Vicki
Okay.
- [30:50]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, but, you know, continue. I went to a couple of those dances at the Catholic.
- [30:54]
Vicki
You know, they want to take them home. Okay.
- [30:56]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, I went to a couple of those dances at the Catholic church. And let me tell you something.
- [31:00]
Vicki
Take them home to bang.
- [31:01]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, of course. Take them home to bang. Or meet mom and dad, break bread. You know, the whole thing.
- [31:07]
Chuck Woolery
At any time you want to. That's what you.
- [31:09]
Brad Grunberg
I'm a B type guy, and I'm also a virgin.
- [31:10]
Chuck Woolery
A B. What's a B type.
- [31:13]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I'm also a virgin. I'm a B type guy. Like, you mean you play on the B team? What are you talking about?
- [31:19]
Vicki
I think he means, like, not type. A type B. Well, I could have guessed that by a virgin.
- [31:24]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah. Why did he throw in virgin? No, I don't know either. Not something you would do these days. But yeah, I see him as anybody who looks at his outfit can probably tell he's not an A type personality. When you're wearing green pinstripe pants and a gray shirt with a yellow polo.
- [31:40]
Chuck Woolery
We'll get to the virgin later.
- [31:42]
Brad Grunberg
There's two types of guys. There's the A and B. You're an A, I'm a B. Okay, that's a compliment.
- [31:47]
Chuck Woolery
Take your word for it. Okay?
- [31:48]
Brad Grunberg
And I'm a B, so I'm a virgin. So I decide that this is the way I'm gonna get girls. I'll show you, Chuck.
- [31:52]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Okay.
- [31:53]
Brad Grunberg
Hi. I'm ugly, but I'm a nice guy. No, I'm really ugly. No, no, no, you're not, Brad. You're a good looking guy. You're cute.
- [32:00]
Chuck Woolery
You're.
- [32:00]
Brad Grunberg
You're fine to be with. No, I'm ugly. I'm ugly.
- [32:02]
Chuck Woolery
I'm horrible. So you do all of this stuff and then they come on and say, n. Come on, Brad.
- [32:07]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Wow. Sounds like a surefire way to get laid.
- [32:09]
Vicki
Yikes.
- [32:11]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Hello? Hey, it's Brad Grunberg from the. From the temple. How you doing? Good. You Said Brad from the temple. Yeah, Brad from the temple. My grandma gave me your phone number. You know what I'm talking about. Hey, listen, what do you. I want one to ten. What. What would you give me? I don't even know you. I'm ugly. I'm just telling you I'm ugly. Okay, thanks for the call. No, no, no, no, wait. Keep on going for a little while, and then you eventually want to screw me. So I'm really ugly. I'm terribly ugly. Okay, thanks. Brad from the temple. I gotta go now. You're scaring me. No, no, wait. I just want to tell you about my small penis. Okay, Brad, I have no money. Thanks for calling. My shoes have a hole in it. Okay? I have zero experience in bed. Okay. Talk to you later.
- [32:57]
Chuck Woolery
You have anybody say yes? You're right, Brad, leave.
- [33:03]
Brad Grunberg
Has that ever happened to you? Many times.
- [33:05]
Chuck Woolery
Many times. I mean, we're gonna be honest here. Yeah.
- [33:08]
Brad Grunberg
But no, no, it's a great. It's. It's a. It's a great way. And I meet a lot of girls that way, and basically, when I get to that point, I can do basically anything with them.
- [33:15]
Chuck Woolery
Anything?
- [33:15]
Brad Grunberg
Anything. Most anything.
- [33:16]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Except have sex, apparently.
- [33:18]
Vicki
Right?
- [33:19]
Chuck Woolery
Yeah. Which is probably why you're still a virgin. Never. Yeah. Let's take a look at the Taste of Brad. Remember, you're going to vote again. Okay, here we go.
- [33:26]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Why do I feel like Brad went on the Love Connection? Because it was the only way he could get closer to the TV cameras where he desperately wanted to be. I bet if we look up Brad Gunberg right now, he's been in 60 movies as, like, an extra.
- [33:40]
Vicki
Yeah.
- [33:42]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Google Brad Gunberg on IMDb.
- [33:44]
Vicki
Grunberger.
- [33:45]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Grunberger. Grungerger. I thought it was just Grunberg. It's Grunberger. Okay. All right.
- [33:51]
Chuck Woolery
There's Donna. She's originally from Queens, New York. Enjoys photography and working with stained glass. Now, she says that she often gets compliments on her eyes here. It's Donna's requirements for man, you should.
- [34:01]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Not have a decent job. And, you know, in education and, you know, just. Just be wise with, you know what he does. I want you to notice something about this. I want to share this with people who are listening at the. On the screen is a nice young lady who's giving her little Vicki, who's giving her a little soliloquy here. And then in the bottom, there's a picture in picture, a box showing Brad and his reaction to the girl. He gets so animated that some TV producer inside of the studio Decides to cut the box out because they don't like the way Brad's acting. They're like, he's. This guy's obnoxious. Cut him out. Watch, you know, in education and, you know, just. They cut him out wise with, you.
- [34:42]
Brad Grunberg
Know, what he does with his money.
- [34:44]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Spend it on me.
- [34:47]
Chuck Woolery
Vicki. Her hobbies include playing basketball, baseball, football. She also likes to swim, cook, work out, and go horseback riding. Sounds like you're gonna.
- [34:54]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Wow. Wow. Brad and this girl seem perfect fit for each other. Brad's. Brad only wears tennis shoes with a.
- [35:00]
Vicki
Suit, I think so.
- [35:02]
Chuck Woolery
She says her habit is chewing the gum.
- [35:05]
Donna
We'll be in a movie, and I'll pop a piece of gum in my mouth just because, you know, I'm hungry or, you know, just because I don't want to ask for popcorn or something. And I'll find myself, you know, and I just feel so stupid. And then I realize I go, oh, my God. Nice impression that you're making.
- [35:17]
Chuck Woolery
You finally, you watch Gail. She was raised in Kansas, and she.
- [35:22]
Vicki
Says that Gail looks like she's part of the Duggar.
- [35:26]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Gail is the. Is Gail Duggar. Is that a wig on top of her head? Is she wearing a wig? I don't think her hair is two totally different colors. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, that. She definitely looks like a Duggar.
- [35:40]
Chuck Woolery
She spends most of her time taking care of her horse. Now when she wants to impress a man, she'll bake him cookies. She hasn't had much luck with her dates recently, and here's one example.
- [35:49]
Vicki
He started getting really hostile, and he's.
- [35:52]
Kristen Joy Oatley
All, you come here and you do.
- [35:53]
Vicki
This, and you know, And I'm all, no, I don't. I do what I want to do.
- [35:57]
Kristen Joy Oatley
You know, just go with the flow.
- [35:59]
Vicki
And sad to say, I punched him.
- [36:02]
Kristen Joy Oatley
What?
- [36:03]
Vicki
That is bizarre. But they probably. They probably had a limited selection of who they thought they could match Brad up with.
- [36:11]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, they probably had, like, I would imagine the girls get some sense saying this is my thought is like, hey, you're gonna go out with Brad. They probably had 3, 000 girls on video, and these are the three that just didn't ever responded. So they're like, I have to put them in there.
- [36:25]
Vicki
Exactly.
- [36:26]
Kristen Joy Oatley
They didn't get the message.
- [36:32]
Chuck Woolery
Wow, what an interesting combination. Let's take a look at all three of them again. First, there's Donna. She's 25. She's a stock broker's assistant. Now Vicki's an education student. She's 23. That's education student. Finally, Gail, she's 24.
- [36:42]
Kristen Joy Oatley
He's an education student. A student of education.
- [36:46]
Vicki
Student of education.
- [36:47]
Kristen Joy Oatley
That's interesting. That's like being a business person. I'm a person of business.
- [36:51]
Chuck Woolery
Gail's a word processor who has a sideline, A boxing process.
- [36:54]
Vicki
A word processor before they did it with computers.
- [36:57]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Oh, yeah, I guess so, I guess. What did that entail? Processing words, I think so. Give me a favor. Process these words for me. I appreciate it. I think there's one of those in my head. Okay.
- [37:10]
Chuck Woolery
Brad picked one of those ladies as his date. Who would you fix him up with now that you know Brad so well?
- [37:19]
Vicki
2.
- [37:21]
Kristen Joy Oatley
2. If you don't pick two, everyone's gonna die.
- [37:26]
Chuck Woolery
All right, the audience has made his choice, and Brad's gonna tell us who he picked. Who'd you pick?
- [37:30]
Brad Grunberg
Well, I picked Victoria. Vicki.
- [37:32]
Chuck Woolery
Victoria. Michael.
- [37:33]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Sure. Okay. Why is Brad so very animated?
- [37:38]
Vicki
He really is.
- [37:39]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I wonder what he's doing. Yeah, that fruit basket didn't get used. I imagine it's. He was just cutting rails before he came out of time.
- [37:49]
Chuck Woolery
So we're gonna.
- [37:50]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Oh, let's fast forward through the.
- [37:53]
Chuck Woolery
Our show for today. We'll be back tomorrow with Brad. I know, more singles. We're gonna try to make a love connection right here. And I'm Chuck Woolery. Hoping all your dates are good ones tonight. See you tomorrow. Bye, everybody.
- [38:05]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, that's his tagline. Hoping all your dates are good tonight. How many dates am I going on tonight? All of them. All of them when I was single, like, oh, all your dates are good this decade.
- [38:22]
Chuck Woolery
Yesterday, he told us which of these three women he chose as his date today. You'll hear what happened on that date.
- [38:31]
Donna
Okay.
- [38:32]
Vicki
He stuck up again.
- [38:33]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah. Somebody in the production office got. Got a hold of him and said, hey, dude, you can't wear Nike's pinstripe pants, yellow shirt, and a gray blazer. It's just not a great combination. So today, let's put you in black shoes, black pants, gray shoe socks.
- [38:51]
Vicki
Those look like old Birkenstocks.
- [38:53]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, they kind of do. Yeah. Old Birkenstocks are those shoes you get when you work at a restaurant. And you know you're going to need three pairs a year, so you spend $10 on them at Walmart. Been there, done that. Doesn't.
- [39:11]
Chuck Woolery
Doesn't a woman deserve to. To start out in a 5050 relationship?
- [39:15]
Brad Grunberg
Not in my ballpark. It starts at 75. 25. And if they 75.
- [39:20]
Chuck Woolery
Your favorite. 25 hertz, of course.
- [39:21]
Brad Grunberg
Always in my favor. And they have to earn the other 25.
- [39:24]
Chuck Woolery
How do they do that?
- [39:25]
Brad Grunberg
Well, they have to earn points by understanding the kind of guy I am. And I give them a few brownie points and a few percentage points, but if they don't, I get rid of them.
- [39:32]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Now I'm the kind of guy that likes to bury people under my porch. You got to understand the kind of guy I am. It says you're only 25% human. Right now I'm gonna work up.
- [39:44]
Vicki
I know nothing like starting with 75. 25 in my favor.
- [39:47]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, listen, only. Shut up.
- [39:52]
Vicki
I thought I'd work myself up to 50.
- [39:54]
Kristen Joy Oatley
50. Listen, you're strictly a word processor until you get to 50. 50. Just process my words. What a douche cadoozle.
- [40:03]
Brad Grunberg
If they understand that, they do a couple other things. Special on the side, I give them the 25. We got 50. 50.
- [40:09]
Kristen Joy Oatley
What is the special on the side? Tickling your balls. Tickling your taint. What is going on? This guy is way too animated. I'd love to see where he is today. He must have a tick tock channel. He can't help him.
- [40:28]
Chuck Woolery
I don't know, Brad.
- [40:30]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Let's bring it.
- [40:30]
Brian Green
I don't know, Brad. You're an exactly.
- [40:33]
Vicki
He wants to say that.
- [40:35]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Listen, listen. It's simple math. Here's how you do it. Women have uteruses, men have penises. Uteruses are inside penises or outside. If you just do the measurements. It's pure, it's just. It's mathematical. You equal 75% less than I do.
- [40:54]
Chuck Woolery
That's how it works today on what happened yesterday. Now, we showed the audience Brad's three choices and they voted on which one they thought would be best for him. We're gonna take a look at all three of them again today and catch you up. First, there's Donna. She enjoys photography and working with stained glass.
- [41:07]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Ah, Donna.
- [41:08]
Chuck Woolery
That was Donna. Vicki. Her hobbies include playing baseball, basketball and football.
- [41:14]
Kristen Joy Oatley
If she likes this guy, swear to God, we're doing a welfare check. Yeah, welfare check on Vicki. Yeah.
- [41:20]
Chuck Woolery
And Gail, when she wants to impress a man, she'll bake him cookies.
- [41:23]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Why do I wish it was Gail?
- [41:24]
Vicki
I think I do too.
- [41:25]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah.
- [41:26]
Brian Green
Honestly, getting back to this, it's hard to believe that Brad is an actual human being. He's like a bad AI creature from the lagoon. But no, Brad is an actual human being who went on to act in multiple straight to video movies. But he did act in movies. It was his brother that ended up being quite the character actor in Hollywood. And so you gotta feel a Little.
- [41:48]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Bit bad for Brad. No, no, no, never mind.
- [41:52]
Brian Green
Forget I ever said that. All right, let's listen to Rachel tell you what you can do to help us out and then we'll finish up this episode.
- [41:58]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I'll be back at the end.
- [42:02]
Rachel
Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-4333 TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos at YouTube.com/the commercial break and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult now was it? You're welcome.
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Vicki
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Kristen Joy Oatley
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Rachel
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Vicki
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Kristen Joy Oatley
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Vicki
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Kristen Joy Oatley
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Rachel
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Kristen Joy Oatley
That you can see a personal dietitian covered by insurance. There's this platform called Nourish that will match you with a dietitian based on whatever your concerns are, whether that's weight loss, eating disorders, autoimmune conditions or something else. They're actually a network with major insurance providers. So Most patients pay $0 out of pocket. 94% of patients pay $0 out of pocket. Find your dietitian@usenourish.com that's usenourish.com.
- [43:38]
Brad Grunberg
Now the.
- [43:39]
Chuck Woolery
Audience vote was recorded yesterday and we'll get to that a little bit later on. But right now, Brad's going to tell us who he chose.
- [43:44]
Brad Grunberg
Vicki.
- [43:45]
Chuck Woolery
He chose Vic. There she is. Vicki's backstage. Let's say hello to Vicki Lambert. Hi, Vicki.
- [43:51]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Hi, Craig. Hi, Vicki.
- [43:52]
Donna
Hi, Brad.
- [43:53]
Kristen Joy Oatley
How are you?
- [43:54]
Vicki
Women had mullets back then.
- [43:55]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, everybody had a mullet. A box top or a mullet. One of the two.
- [44:00]
Brad Grunberg
You're welcome.
- [44:01]
Chuck Woolery
Just.
- [44:03]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Oh, she said you look cute. Oh, she likes him.
- [44:05]
Vicki
Maybe.
- [44:06]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Welfare check on Vicki.
- [44:07]
Vicki
Yep.
- [44:07]
Chuck Woolery
Make yourself at home back there. Okay.
- [44:09]
Donna
All right.
- [44:10]
Chuck Woolery
All right, Brad, your moment.
- [44:12]
Brad Grunberg
Well, it all started about 5:30pm that's how I start Start him early, Start him early. Get to her house, her mom answers her door. And we're talking about one sweet woman.
- [44:19]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Woman.
- [44:19]
Brad Grunberg
A nice lady. We sat down and talked. We talked about what she cooked for her husband, where they're gonna go this weekend. Just a lovely lady and her husband.
- [44:26]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Did you touch your kids? That's all we care about at home.
- [44:30]
Brad Grunberg
I would have talked to him, too. After that, she came. Vicki came out. She was looking very nice.
- [44:36]
Chuck Woolery
What did you think of Brad when you saw him, Vicki?
- [44:38]
Donna
Well, he was dressed all right. He was dressed nicely. He wasn't gorgeous, but he wasn't.
- [44:44]
Vicki
Whoa.
- [44:48]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Brad's been. I know. He's been rehearsing this story for months. Since they went on the date, he's been trying to figure out how he spins it. So he gets a second date and she comes right out with a ball crusher. Well, he's not exactly attractive, you know, he's transmit.
- [45:07]
Chuck Woolery
He's beginning to hyperventilate.
- [45:08]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I guess.
- [45:11]
Brad Grunberg
Like I said, I am an ugly guy.
- [45:13]
Donna
But how do you say that, Brad?
- [45:15]
Brad Grunberg
Well, her body wasn't looking too good either.
- [45:18]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Whoa, Brad, Brad, Brad. Booyah. Got her. Still 25%. I'll show this lady. Who does she think she's dealing with? I'm grad. I'm Brad Van Brandenburger.
- [45:35]
Donna
Brad, yours wasn't looking the best either. What I said on the. He told me over the phone that he was about 180. I don't think so, Brad. Maybe you're pushing 180.
- [45:47]
Brad Grunberg
Okay, I was 189. And you're sure? 150.
- [45:56]
Kristen Joy Oatley
What does she think she's with? I'm Brad Van Bergenberger. I'm a virgin. I party at the temple, but I'm too crazy for even the temple. But I still go on Friday night. I still take my grandma's advice.
- [46:11]
Chuck Woolery
What happened next, Brad?
- [46:12]
Brad Grunberg
Well, as we gave her the roses. Now I'm an ugly, but I'm a nice guy. Gave her the roses, brought some lunch.
- [46:17]
Chuck Woolery
Did things pick up here a little bit, Vicki?
- [46:20]
Donna
No, not really.
- [46:24]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Go, Vicki, go. I was worried about you at first. Now I know you can handle your.
- [46:28]
Donna
Own three favorite phrases of the night. First of all, he called me babe all night, which I don't know.
- [46:32]
Kristen Joy Oatley
It's just.
- [46:33]
Donna
I need to know someone a little longer before they call me babe, which I kind of found a little bit offensive.
- [46:39]
Kristen Joy Oatley
And second of all, wow. Wow, look at Vicky. Ahead of her time.
- [46:44]
Donna
He kept doing was he said the night. Still in diapers. I haven't heard that Phrase for a long time. In fact, at first, I didn't even know what it meant. And I had to think about it. The night still in diapers, meaning the nights young.
- [46:55]
Chuck Woolery
I think I got it.
- [46:55]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah.
- [46:57]
Donna
And third of all, all he kept saying was, it's out of control. We're gonna have an out of control time. The night's still in diapers, though.
- [47:03]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Out of control time. I'm taking you to Long John Silver's and then we're gonna go to my temple for somebody. He.
- [47:14]
Brad Grunberg
I tried, you know, after we had.
- [47:17]
Chuck Woolery
Was it out of control for me?
- [47:18]
Kristen Joy Oatley
It was.
- [47:19]
Brad Grunberg
It was for sure.
- [47:20]
Vicki
Because it was.
- [47:22]
Kristen Joy Oatley
It was.
- [47:22]
Vicki
I can't wait to hear.
- [47:23]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah. I can't wait to go home.
- [47:25]
Brad Grunberg
The bus station.
- [47:26]
Chuck Woolery
Went to the.
- [47:27]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah.
- [47:27]
Chuck Woolery
Bus station.
- [47:28]
Brad Grunberg
Yeah, downtown.
- [47:29]
Chuck Woolery
What'd you do at the bus station?
- [47:30]
Donna
We went through the doors.
- [47:31]
Kristen Joy Oatley
The bus station. The is this guy doing.
- [47:37]
Vicki
That is a complete new one.
- [47:38]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I have never been to the bus station. On a date?
- [47:41]
Vicki
Nope.
- [47:41]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yep. Thus, I'm running away from the law. I stay out of the bus stations.
- [47:45]
Donna
Vending machine on the left hand side and had ice cream sandwiches. It was a lot of fun.
- [47:50]
Kristen Joy Oatley
He told me what he took her to ice cream sandwiches from the vending machine. Wow. I didn't even know they sold ice cream sandwiches in vending machines.
- [47:59]
Vicki
He was very familiar with it.
- [48:00]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Sounds like he knew exactly where to find the ice cream sandwiches. Fine. You'll find me at the bus station with ice cream sandwiches.
- [48:11]
Chuck Woolery
What happened next?
- [48:12]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Next you're not gonna ask why you went to the bus station. Yeah, come on.
- [48:17]
Vicki
It was obviously for the ice cream sandwiches.
- [48:19]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, yeah, ice cream sandwiches. But can't you find ice cream sandwiches somewhere else? Yeah, just get it started. The right. Hey, would you like a little appetif? A little appetizer, A little starter? What do you say we go down to the bus station?
- [48:33]
Vicki
This place called the bus Station. Oh, is that a new restaurant in town? I haven't heard that. No, it's the bus.
- [48:38]
Kristen Joy Oatley
No, no. But it's the best place to get ice cream sandwiches and heroin. So let me know the good stuff.
- [48:45]
Brad Grunberg
A temple on Wilshire Boulevard.
- [48:46]
Chuck Woolery
Temple on Wilshire Boulevard. Yeah.
- [48:48]
Brad Grunberg
We went in and started dancing, drinking and having a good time.
- [48:51]
Kristen Joy Oatley
You took her to the temple, Brad? At first I was curious.
- [48:59]
Vicki
Is the bus station now the temple?
- [49:01]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah. I was wondering why you were a virgin, but now it's clear.
- [49:04]
Vicki
Yeah, it is.
- [49:05]
Kristen Joy Oatley
God. You've never been outside your house with a female in a temple?
- [49:10]
Brad Grunberg
Yeah, it was a party. It was a wedding party.
- [49:12]
Kristen Joy Oatley
It Was a wedding party. Whose wedding party is it? Brad? Brad. There's the party.
- [49:25]
Vicki
We're. We're going to hit up this party and then. Can you picture him pulling up the temple? That's a wedding.
- [49:31]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever, Mrs. And Mr. Schmidt. Hey, it's Brad. And Brad.
- [49:42]
Vicki
He's back.
- [49:42]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah. I told you not to invite Brad.
- [49:47]
Brad Grunberg
A lady came up to me about a half hour later and says, do you know anybody here? I go, isn't this Ron Applebaum's bar mitzvah party? No, this is the wife's wedding. We crashed the wedding party.
- [49:57]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Do you know anybody here? Do you know anybody here? Because you're a real. And we'd like you to leave. I just want to make sure I'm not offending the. The groom. Even though he's the one who asked me to tell you to leave. Wow. This is the cheapest. Yeah, either he's cheap or so sheltered that the only place he goes is to Grandma's and the temple and the bus station.
- [50:18]
Donna
He must have been with another girl, because that never happened. We never crashed a wedding. He must get another date. No, I'm sorry, Brad.
- [50:25]
Brad Grunberg
They just couldn't make sure.
- [50:26]
Vicki
Drinks.
- [50:27]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Now. He's lying. Lying. He's making it up. Who's with Wade? Why. Why would she lie? Is she just embarrassed about crashing a wedding?
- [50:36]
Vicki
I don't think that she's lying.
- [50:37]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Or. Did they go to the temple? No one was there. And now Brad's making up a story that there was going to be a wedding, but I got kicked out before it happened.
- [50:45]
Donna
You must have been with another girl or something, because we never went to a wedding.
- [50:48]
Chuck Woolery
Wait a minute. I mean, this is like. This is a huge discrepancy here.
- [50:51]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I mean. Yeah, Go, Chuck. Get after it.
- [50:54]
Chuck Woolery
This is a major thing you're doing. The. Really?
- [50:57]
Donna
Yes. I'm not lying.
- [50:59]
Chuck Woolery
You didn't go.
- [50:59]
Kristen Joy Oatley
No, we made this up.
- [51:01]
Donna
We passed by and he said it would, you know, he said it would have been nice if we went.
- [51:04]
Brad Grunberg
Whatever you say, Vicky. We believe you. She's live through a deep. Chuck. End of story. Next place.
- [51:12]
Brian Green
Whoa, Fred.
- [51:15]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Wow. I think we found the world's biggest. And I really hope he has a TikTok channel now to give him a little bit. A little bit of credit. She could be lying. But you're also the guy who just said in the same sentence, I'm a virgin and women only count for 25%. Until they do, then they give me a hand job.
- [51:36]
Brad Grunberg
Okay. I don't know why we're off to a couple, you know, some singing, relax, have a few cocktails, and we're sitting around. Good music. We left time to go to dinner.
- [51:44]
Chuck Woolery
Where?
- [51:45]
Brad Grunberg
Hotel on what? Beverly Hillcrest.
- [51:48]
Chuck Woolery
Okay.
- [51:49]
Brad Grunberg
Women, right?
- [51:51]
Donna
If my man intervene again. There was no music.
- [51:54]
Brad Grunberg
Here we go again.
- [51:58]
Vicki
This is bizarre.
- [51:59]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Wow, this is really strange. I had no idea when I downloaded this video that this would get so strange. I'm literally fascinated by what happened. And I'd like to do a full investigative report here on the commercial break about this date.
- [52:13]
Vicki
Exactly.
- [52:14]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Put the notebook. Hold on one second. No, I'm gonna write a note to Tina right now, because we are gonna find what happened with Brad. Yeah, Tina need to do investigation on love Connection video. Love Connection date. Oh, my God. I almost never pick up my phone and write things during the middle of this show unless it's a no. Because I am really fascinated, and I would love to see if I could get a hold of this woman and see if she would tell the actual story about what happened with her and Brad. Wouldn't that. I would love it be the best thing that ever happened to the commercial break, which is not a high bar to set. But I'm just sharing.
- [52:56]
Brad Grunberg
Follow the plan of the evening. Okay? Whatever she said.
- [53:00]
Donna
Listen, that might have been his plan that there was gonna be music, but unfortunately, they were not playing at the time that we were there.
- [53:06]
Chuck Woolery
How did. How did this date in.
- [53:08]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, Chuck's like, I got to get out of here. You got to. Also, in 2023, this would have been the best thing to ever happen to this episode of the Love connection. But in 1983, 30 years, 40 years ago, this was not the way that television conducted itself. It was very like, they. They weren't going to get into a bunch of controversy. They just wanted to move on. In 15 minutes.
- [53:30]
Vicki
Yep. Yep.
- [53:30]
Brad Grunberg
Well, we went for a couple.
- [53:36]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Wait, what happened? Hold on one second.
- [53:41]
Brad Grunberg
On the cheek. And she kissed the air over here. I was kissing over here.
- [53:46]
Kristen Joy Oatley
What the hell?
- [53:47]
Brad Grunberg
I'm a nice guy. Is you're gonna give me a peck on the cheek so I can tell my friends I got a kiss. But she went on. She got a hair this and that. I'm a nice guy.
- [53:56]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Chuck is over this guy. He's like, get this guy off my stage.
- [54:00]
Vicki
Yes, he is.
- [54:02]
Chuck Woolery
I just had to go under this all night.
- [54:04]
Kristen Joy Oatley
But maybe we should bring her out.
- [54:05]
Brad Grunberg
So I can give her back, huh?
- [54:06]
Chuck Woolery
Let's take a look and see the audience speak for you.
- [54:08]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I think you should keep you two separated so no one gets Hurt. Yeah.
- [54:15]
Brad Grunberg
Please, please.
- [54:16]
Kristen Joy Oatley
They picked up Vicky.
- [54:17]
Brad Grunberg
No.
- [54:17]
Chuck Woolery
47%.
- [54:19]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Oh, yeah. They should have picked the last one. That would have been fascinating. The girl who punched somebody. Yeah.
- [54:26]
Brian Green
She was close.
- [54:27]
Brad Grunberg
No, no.
- [54:30]
Chuck Woolery
Is it safe to assume that you. I probably would like to go out with Vicki again. If we pay for it.
- [54:36]
Brad Grunberg
Chuck. I rather. Chuck. I'd rather stay a virgin for the rest of my life.
- [54:42]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Well, it looks like you're going to.
- [54:44]
Chuck Woolery
Yeah.
- [54:44]
Kristen Joy Oatley
You're well on your way, buddy.
- [54:45]
Vicki
We do have to investigate.
- [54:46]
Kristen Joy Oatley
We are going to investigate. Yes, I will investigate this Brad Bumgaard or something. I'll figure it out. Brandenburger. Brandenburger.
- [54:56]
Vicki
I said Berger, but maybe it is Berg.
- [54:58]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Oh, yeah, I think it's Berg. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna figure it out. Out. I will go down the rabbit hole. Like I have never gone down a rabbit hole before. I'm really good at searching on the Internet.
- [55:11]
Chuck Woolery
Sorry things didn't work out for Vicky. As far as the love connection, nice gift for you.
- [55:15]
Brad Grunberg
Good luck on finals.
- [55:16]
Donna
Thanks. Thank you, Jack.
- [55:17]
Brad Grunberg
Thanks a lot.
- [55:23]
Vicki
He kind of looks like Ralph Macchio.
- [55:25]
Kristen Joy Oatley
He does. Like a fat Roth Machio. Yeah.
- [55:28]
Chuck Woolery
Thanks for coming on this.
- [55:29]
Brad Grunberg
Thank you.
- [55:30]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Thanks a lot. Yeah.
- [55:31]
Chuck Woolery
Good luck to you.
- [55:32]
Brad Grunberg
Thank you.
- [55:32]
Chuck Woolery
Wor to be back with another couple in just a minute.
- [55:35]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Good luck to you and all your lying.
- [55:37]
Vicki
That was weird.
- [55:38]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Wow. That was the strangest. I. I have to say, hands down, that was the strangest.
- [55:43]
Vicki
Definitely Love Connection, maybe dating show.
- [55:47]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah. That we've ever seen where two people who went on the same date do not tell the same story. All right. We'll get to the bottom of it.
- [55:55]
Vicki
No, we didn't.
- [55:56]
Kristen Joy Oatley
No, we didn't. We had music and dream. There was no music. We went to a nice dinner. We had ice cream sandwiches at the bus station. Jack Hole. Oh, my God. Let's hope our boy Brad has lived as long as these parrots do and we can still find him. He's still out there. Because I desperately want to know what happened to this guy. We will found. We will follow up on Brad Brandenburger or Brandenburg, whatever his fucking name is. I'll follow up on it. Brad and Vicky, I'm gonna investigate. There's got to be some more information about these two human beings. And if I can, I will get Vicki on the show because I don't want to hear Brad's side of the story. I couldn't handle him. He's just gonna take up all our air time trying to lock. You know, trying to just talk.
- [56:42]
Vicki
Yeah, but I know. I want to know where he is.
- [56:44]
Kristen Joy Oatley
There's only one talker on this show, and that's me. You want your own show, Brad?
- [56:49]
Brian Green
Go.
- [56:49]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Go find it. All right. Hey, tcbpodcast.com that's where you can get your free 21 EPM sticker ejaculations per month. It sounds like Brad needs to have a little release there. So you'll either get a 21 EPM sticker or our next sticker. It depends if we are if we still have any more of these left. So go quick, hit the contact us button, Give us your physical address@tcbpodcast.com and we'll send you a sticker as soon as we can. Also. So the entire catalog is up there, audio and video, except for the first few. Except for the first few episodes, yeah. Well, I say the entire accessible, the entire public catalog is there. Someday we may release the first few, but probably not. It was bad and you don't want to hear it. I'm wasting your time.
- [57:35]
Brian Green
All right, there you have it. One of my personal favorite episodes. It was one of my favorites to actually do. Sitting here in the room, I found this all to be very funny. And having been a big fan of breaking down Love Connection videos for the entirety of our time here on the commercial break, I think this ranks number two with what the Chuck being number one, of course. Well, I really appreciate you giving me a break so I can take a break, even though I didn't take a break because I had to come here and do this episode of the commercial break. You get the picture? The wheel never stops turning. I am simply a hamster spinning my legs as fast as they will go. Nor rain, nor sleet, nor snow and all that jazz. Alright? At the expense of repeating ourselves a million different ways, do us a favor. Please do follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. I would love to hear from you via text message or voicemail at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Hit us up with your questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. We would love to hear all of that. And if you want to be on the next episode of the commercial break.
- [58:43]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Or maybe not the next episode of.
- [58:45]
Brian Green
The commercial break, but episode of the commercial break. Leave us a voicemail or send us a text message and tell us what you want to talk about. You can also drop us an email@tcb podcast.com hit the contact us button. Drop us a a line on why you'd like to jump on the show or get your free swag by Hitting the drop down menu that says I want my free sticker. Give us your address and we will send you one. Plus the one and only place to see all of our episodes on video the same day they air here on the audio feed is YouTube.com the commercial break. Subscribe, like comment on your favorite video. You've been to YouTube, you know what to do. And let me move backwards one second. You can also get the audio and the video on the website if you're that kind of person. If you're like urling it but URL ing It is so 2010. Just open the app on your phone and you know, dial us up. You know how to do it. Oh, and one more thing. Sharing is caring. The best way that you can help out the commercial break your good friends Brian and Chrissy is to share the show. Tell a neighbor, phone a friend you hate your in laws.
- [59:50]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Pause. Send them the commercial break.
- [59:51]
Brian Green
Tell them that's what your husband has been listening to. It's fun for the whole family, I guarantee. All right, well, there's no Chrissy here today, but I'll tell you I love you. I'll say best to you and then collectively we'll say best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, I will say, I do say, and I must say I'm going the to bed. Bye.
- [60:12]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Wow. What's up?
- [60:13]
Vicki
I just bought and financed a car through Carvana and Mint. You, the person who agonized four weeks.
- [60:19]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Over whether to paint your walls eggshell or off white, bought and financed a car in minutes. They made it easy.
- [60:24]
Vicki
Transparent terms, customizable, down and monthly.
- [60:27]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Didn't even have to do any paperwork. Wow.
- [60:31]
Vicki
Hey, have you checked out that spreadsheet I sent you for our dinner? Options Finance your car with Carvana and experience total control financing subject to credit approval. Where'd you get those shoes?
- [60:43]
Donna
Easy.
- [60:44]
Vicki
They're from dsw. Because DSW has the exact right sho.
- [60:48]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Whatever you're into right now.
- [60:49]
Vicki
You know, like the sneakers that make.
- [60:51]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Office hours feel like happy hour, the.
- [60:54]
Vicki
Boots that turn grocery aisles into runways, and all the styles that show off the many sides of you from daydreamer to multitasker and everything in between. Because you do it all in really great shoes. Find a shoe for every you at your DSW store or dsw dot com.